i have a musician problem

The instruments of an orchestra, as described by Tumblr
  • Flute: I will actually KILL you for your ChAIR. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH
  • Piccolo: I am angry at everything also your ears just exploded lmao
  • Violin: Violins I: *practices 2 days each day* IM PERFECT. Violins II: I will always live in the shadow of the firsts
  • Viola: everyone always forgets about me also iT'S noT A VioLIn!!!!!
  • Cello: wats rhythm wats a conductor
  • Double bass: i play like 3 notes in a phrase
  • Clarinet: *squeaks*
  • Oboe: REEDS
  • Bassoon: ????? do i exist
  • Trumpet: I AM THE GOD OF EVERYTHING. EGO.
  • Trombone: *hits unsuspecting musicians in the back of their head*
  • Tuba: 1...5...1...5...1...5...
  • French horn: totally not emptying the contens of my spit valve onto the floor
  • Percussion: *hits everything* this is an instrument *slaps u* this is an instrument
  • Harp: how do i even transport my instrument also it takes like 3 years to tune this thing
  • Piano: IM MY OWN ORCHESTRA SCREW YOU ALL *sees concert etudes* ahhhhhhhh

fantabulousfelix  asked:

One of the things I hate the most about my ADHD is my auditory processing. I'm a musician with perfect pitch; music is my life and I'm always dealing with sound. But when it comes to processing speech? Forget it. Nobody can be talking when I'm trying to focus on something, and when I'm having s conversation my peers have to speak Very Clearly And Articulate for me to understand, and I STILL have to ask them to repeat it. It's. So. Frustrating.

I’m a musician as well, and I have some auditory attention problems that impact my processing at times. Have you had your hearing tested? You may have auditory processing disorder.

-J

  • Me: *sends orchestra conductor email* I'm really very sorry, but I am unable to go to rehearsal next week because of a piano competition. This does not imply that I value piano more than participation in the orchestra, but rather because this is an important competition and plays a crucial role in whether I can get [insert award here]. *rants on and makes about 2647284839 excuses*
  • Conductor: you can go it doesn't really matter since we have a lot of first violins
  • Me:
  • Me: well that was
  • Me:
  • Me: WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER
Literal thing that happened at rehearsal today
  • Conductor: Okay, clarinets play from bar 16 please.
  • Clarinets: *plays*
  • First violins: *talks amongst ourselves*
  • Conductor: *turns to firsts* You guys can whisper to each other, but I have to hear the clarinets.
  • Second chair: *sneaks up behind conductor*
  • Conductor: Whisper very quietly, just make sure I can't hear you.
  • Second chair: *puts hands over conductor's ears* YOU CANNNT HEARRRRRR USSSSSS
  • Firsts: *talks loudly about everything and anything, laughing obnoxiously*
  • Yeah it's what happens in our orchestra no questions asked