i have a musician problem

The instruments of an orchestra, as described by Tumblr
  • Flute: I will actually KILL you for your ChAIR. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH
  • Piccolo: I am angry at everything also your ears just exploded lmao
  • Violin: Violins I: *practices 2 days each day* IM PERFECT. Violins II: I will always live in the shadow of the firsts
  • Viola: everyone always forgets about me also iT'S noT A VioLIn!!!!!
  • Cello: wats rhythm wats a conductor
  • Double bass: i play like 3 notes in a phrase
  • Clarinet: *squeaks*
  • Oboe: REEDS
  • Bassoon: ????? do i exist
  • Trumpet: I AM THE GOD OF EVERYTHING. EGO.
  • Trombone: *hits unsuspecting musicians in the back of their head*
  • Tuba: 1...5...1...5...1...5...
  • French horn: totally not emptying the contens of my spit valve onto the floor
  • Percussion: *hits everything* this is an instrument *slaps u* this is an instrument
  • Harp: how do i even transport my instrument also it takes like 3 years to tune this thing
  • Piano: IM MY OWN ORCHESTRA SCREW YOU ALL *sees concert etudes* ahhhhhhhh
  • Me: *sends orchestra conductor email* I'm really very sorry, but I am unable to go to rehearsal next week because of a piano competition. This does not imply that I value piano more than participation in the orchestra, but rather because this is an important competition and plays a crucial role in whether I can get [insert award here]. *rants on and makes about 2647284839 excuses*
  • Conductor: you can go it doesn't really matter since we have a lot of first violins
  • Me:
  • Me: well that was
  • Me:
  • Me: WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER

Okay, so a bunch of GNR fans are trying to call bullshit on something Roddy Bottum and Mike Patton of Faith no More observed happening with Axl Rose and two groupies while they toured with GNR and Metallica in 1991. Never mind that it was Roddy recounting what happened and he’s not someone who bullshits stories, but other groupies have stated that Axl Rose has a history of treating women like shit, and he absolutely does videotape groupies doing disgusting shit for his own amusement. This is not news to anyone who knows enough about these bands, so any fans on here acting surprised are either new to the game or in serious denial. That interview with Roddy has been on the internet for a while now too and is easily accessible.

As for Faith no More, they were never much of a groupie band and kept themselves removed from that scene. Mike, Billy, and Puffy absolutely never took groupies at all. Roddy occasionally hooked up with people on the road but it wasn’t an all-the-time thing. Jim was the only FNM member with a reputation for seeking groupies, but from accounts I’ve heard, he was respectful to the women he hooked up with. Mike Patton used to actively talk young girls out of becoming groupies, many of them teenagers. He hated the whole culture surrounding it and found it very upsetting how other musicians treated women. The whole thing with Mike Patton defecating in Axl Rose’s orange juice was likely a revenge plot more than anything else.

To clarify something else, too - I have no problem with musicians that take on groupies as long as they’re respectful to the women (or men) they hook up with. What consenting adults do together sexually is none of my business. However, when a musician is exploiting women, hooking up with underage girls, or just straight up abusing groupies for their own amusement, that’s when it’s not cool anymore. Besides, even if you choose to ignore how Axl Rose treated groupies back then, you can’t ignore other facts - the guy was a blatant racist and homophobe, verbally and physically abused ex-girlfriends, and is an overall unpleasant person. I don’t want to hear the “he was molested as a child” excuse, either - a lot of other musicians were molested as children too and they didn’t grow up to be abusers.

If you, as a female fan of GNR or any other band with a shady reputation, want to listen to the music, whatever. That’s your choice. Just keep in mind that there are some gross motherfuckers in bands out there who enjoy hurting women and young girls just for kicks. If you’re willing to defend some doughy asshole that sings like Ethel Merman on speed more than the bodily sanctity of two women forced to each each other out on camera while under the influence of narcotics, then you’re out of your mind.

Literal thing that happened at rehearsal today
  • Conductor: Okay, clarinets play from bar 16 please.
  • Clarinets: *plays*
  • First violins: *talks amongst ourselves*
  • Conductor: *turns to firsts* You guys can whisper to each other, but I have to hear the clarinets.
  • Second chair: *sneaks up behind conductor*
  • Conductor: Whisper very quietly, just make sure I can't hear you.
  • Second chair: *puts hands over conductor's ears* YOU CANNNT HEARRRRRR USSSSSS
  • Firsts: *talks loudly about everything and anything, laughing obnoxiously*
  • Yeah it's what happens in our orchestra no questions asked
I'm Going to Get Hate For This

Okay, I know I am pushing my luck here since last night I posted my opinion and lost 12 followers, but I think it’s time for this to be said: please leave Nash Grier the fuck alone.

Now, before I get a shit ton of hate (which I know I will) I actually watched the video that everyone hates, What Guys Look for In Girls, and I don’t know what everyone is so upset about. Here are the only things in the video that I find questionable:

1. “You have to be entertaining.” - I know a lot of people find problems with that, but I don’t get the problem. I personally once dated a guy who had no sense of humor and was boring and it was terrible. I think he could have worded it a hell of a lot better, but I don’t think it’s as bad as people made out. People are acting like he said, “You must fucking write a musical and perform a different one for me every night while juggling.” No. He’s sixteen. He said it weird. And unless you are going to stand here and tell me, “I love boring guys!” than stop using that as a problem.

2. “Girls who have talents.” Again, I don’t see a problem. I like musicians. I find musicians really sexy. Is it sexist if I say I want to date a musician?

3. “Girls who are obnoxious.” Well if you think that’s sexist, than I guess you want to date that one annoying guy who makes fart jokes and never knows when to shut up, right? See. Double standard.

4. “Soft, beautiful hair.” It’s just what they like, guys. I like blondes more than brunettes. But that doesn’t mean everyone who doesn’t have blonde hair is never going to get a date. Different people like different things.  

5. “Short girls.” Again. It’s a preference. Some guys like tall girls.

6. “Girls with good style.” Well, I don’t want a guy who doesn’t know how to dress. Preference.

7. “Innocent girls.”- That literally just seems like them being sixteen and immature, honestly. And anyway, that can mean a lot of things. I feel like a lot of people jumped to “virgin” but he didn’t say that. He said innocent.

8. “A girl that can cook.”- See, people jump to, “Oh my god, he wants us in the kitchen." That’s not what he fucking said. He likes it when girl’s can cook. I like it when guys can cook because I can’t cook. Somebody’s gotta fucking feed the family and it ain’t gonna be me.  

9. "Shave! Brush your teeth!” This is what I don’t understand why people get upset. If you are my man, I don’t want a fucking beard and you better brush your fucking teeth. What’s wrong with that? People, there are starving children in Africa and you are fucking concerned because, wait for it, a man WANTS YOU TO SHAVE?! HOLY SHIT! THIS IS SLAVERY! Guys, cool it. If you have a preference to if you like beards or not, then you are being just as “sexist” as them. Do you want your man to have a Hitler mustache? Would you tell him to shave that off? Double standards.

Now, here are some things that no one talks about.

1. They said at the beginning, “This is just what I think.” It’s a preference! Calm the fuck down.

2. They said something actually really sweet which was, “Girl’s who make you a better you.” That’s fucking precious but no one talks about that.

3. They say they want a girl with ambition and goals. What is the problem with that?

4. They like girls who cuddle. These men are CLEARLY sexist animals.

5. “A little bit of make-up, if you want it.” Everyone seems to think they said YOU MUST WEAR MAKE-UP OR ELSE. I’m pretty sure they said “If you want it.” Listen, people. Listen.  

6. He said be yourself. Does everyone just ignore that?

Basically, from what I’ve seen from the video, it’s a bunch of assholes attacking a sixteen-year old boy for saying he likes it when girls shave. And, again, he said at the beginning of the video, that these were his opinions and he kept on saying it. So, people, leave him the fuck alone. There are bigger problems in the world and you all kind of just look immature.

God, from what I heard about this I thought the man fucking killed someone in the video. God. There is so much other shit going on in the world and you got mad because a kid told you to brush your teeth? Please grow up.

Okay. Let the hate flow in.