can you explain why people want to exclude asexual people from the lgbt+ community? I understand that if you're cis and straight and ace that people feel you shouldn't belong but like? isn't having a different orientation still queer?
this question shows a fundamental misunderstanding of a) why the lgbt community exists b) what being queer actually means.
the lgbt community wasn’t formed to be a bastion of safety to each and every person who feels like their identity is Queer And Radical™, contrary to what huffington post and buzzfeed would have you believe these days. the lgbt community, as we know it today, was formed directly in response to the fact that we were being systematically targeted by EVERYTHING in our society, from police to laws to everyday citizens. gay bashings were even more common than they are today, and just holding your same-gender partner’s hand in public could be enough to get you killed. gay/trans panic was a valid legal excuse people could plea to that, essentially, let them walk free for murdering us.
where do ace people fit into that picture? you tell me.
if cishet steve wants to live his whole life without having sex, great! more power to him! i would never in a million years try to stop him from doing that. but frankly, he’s going to look like any other straight and cis person throughout his entire life. he doesn’t need the protection that the lgbt community provides.
you might argue that it’s asexual erasure for people to see cishet steve and assume that he’s allosexual or what-have-you. to which i ask: why does it matter? so much of the ace community is focused on HOW you like (or don’t like) sex and your experience with sexual attraction. for a community that ostensibly wants to remove the focus on sex that society has, the ace community sure spends a lot of time coming up with new terms and identities to describe Exactly How you feel about sex, and spends even more time explaining this in vivid detail. and on a wide, unilateral level, that just… doesn’t matter.
to look at that another way… a lot of ace people feel grossed out when allo people (lgbt or not) describe their sexual preferences, or even just bring up the fact that they have sex at all. so it looks a little hypocritical that the ace community spends so much time pontificating on these microlabels and identities that essentially just… describe how much sex you’re having or are interested in having.
ace people are never going to be systematically hunted down and persecuted on the basis of their being asexual. not the way lgbt people are. trans women are still being actively murdered in the streets for being trans women, and the ace community is too busy raising a fuss that they’re Queer Enough For The Queer Club to care.
and again, i partially fault this to the media. liberal outlets like buzzfeed and huffington post are pushing the idea that more and more esoteric interests and identities are queer, when that’s… not the case. the lgbt community has been fighting since the start to be recognized as people, and not just a bunch of demented perverted freaks. after nearly 50 years of the modern lgbt movement in america, where has that gotten us? cishet people who are into s&m, or diapers, or what-have-you, claiming the identity of “queer.” that’s never been what that term is for, and more importantly, it puts us as lgbt people RIGHT back into being lumped in with the “abnormal perverts.”
there are legitimate problems that the ace community faces, but the lgbt community is not the place to solve them. it would be more productive, in my opinion, for the ace community to focus on issues like desexualizing the media (because i feel that’s where a lot of ace feelings of exclusion come from) than it is for them to keep trying to shove their way into a community that was not made for them.
in conclusion, i don’t say any of this because i hate asexual people or view their identities as invalid. they are. but if you’re cishet and ace, you don’t have a claim to the lgbt community. it’s that simple. if you ask a regular person on the street, one who’s not at all entrenched in this debate, they’ll tell you the same thing. the problems ace people have are not on the same level of the problems that the lgbt community has, so their attempt to muscle their way into the community shows a profound lack of understanding they have as to what this community is for.
please, please do some research on the history of the lgbt community, and i mean actual books, papers, and documentaries. tumblr can be helpful, but you cannot rely on this site to truly educate you on any subject like this.