i have a lot of feelings about them all i don't want the tour to end

Highlights from Talks Machina (Episode 105)

Again, covering for @eponymous-rose​ while she continues her international vacation! Sorry for missing last week–things got crazy! Tonight’s guests: Darin de Paul, Taliesin sporting a lovely scarlet mohawk, and Travis. Brian starts a story that ends with him forging several signatures, and off we go.

  • The new campaign guide comes out soon! Taliesin is now worried about messing up the history of a character he invented.
  • Darin loves D&D as a long-form improv exercise and is happy he was able to get moments with each of the cast members.
  • Right after college, Darin was an apprentice at the Burt Reynolds Theater in Florida (a year-long program for theater students). One of his co-apprentices was Matt’s mom, and Matt’s grandmother was the director’s assistant. Matt’s father was part of the writing room. During the run of Darin’s last show (Fiddler), a clarinet player said they were going to play D&D and invited Darin. Matt’s mother was also in the group; they were all new to the game, so they rolled on a table for names and played four sessions. Last year, Darin was hired by Blizzard to do various voices, which is where he and Matt became friends. Later, Matt realized his mom had a picture of herself with Darin de Paul, and discussion of that picture led to the conversation of their D&D game. It’s been 37 years since Sprigg’s original campaign.
  • Matt was worried about fitting Sprigg in until Darin mentioned he was a hermit. The hobgoblin TPK was canon! Sprigg, a chaotic evil illusionist thief, was the only one to survive; the last moment of that campaign had him fleeing on a cart with wolves chasing him, abandoning the rest of the party to their deaths. Travis and Taliesin ask if he really was chaotic evil; “Why do you think he was so interested in redemption, dear boy?”
  • The first episode Darin saw was the Trials of the Take episode when the carpet was destroyed. He’s wanted to be on the show ever since.
  • Symmetra’s voice actor, Anjali Bhimani, also plays D&D. My heart skips a few beats.
  • Vex and Percy eloped over the year break. Laura and Taliesin kept it secret out of pique at first (Taliesin doesn’t remember why they were piqued). He’s not surprised the others are annoyed.
  • Grog was extremely impressed by Sarenrae and hasn’t thought much about Kord giving him any boons.
  • Darin has been a fan of the show and watching for some time. Taliesin says he is the most prepared guest they’ve ever had.
  • Very few people were present at Vex & Percy’s wedding. They did not intend to ever bring it up on their own.
  • The plane of books is the worst possible plane for Grog. Only the plane of shopping would be worse.
  • As soon as Darin walked into the studio last Thursday, Travis immediately asked him if he was a god. Travis still thinks he might be.
  • Percy would rather have a thousand years with Vex than a thousand years with Ioun’s library.
  • Travis wants a “positive, upbeat resolution to all the drama that is a-hanging in the air.” Me too. Travis does not read the Player’s Handbook to help keep Grog dumb, so he never knows what’s going on.
  • Travis loves how prepared Darin was. He offered the Deck because he thought Darin was looking for something specific after Sprigg deflected the weaker offerings.
  • Darin loved the emotion in the room during the plane shift and the strong moment with Marisha in particular. He also likes the movie Gargoyles.
  • The hardest thing about playing Sprigg after so long was finding him again. Brian gets very sentimental about the long journey that brought Sprigg back to life, including Darin becoming friends and colleagues with Matt so many years later.
  • Darin will be back on the next episode and is visibly excited about it.
  • Darin used to read tons of D&D books (mentions Drizzt by name) and used to paint minis as a hobby. He still has some of the figures and wants to donate them to the show.
  • Darin’s wife was part of Taliesin’s parents’ circle, so he’s known her for a long time. Taliesin and Darin exchange memories of meeting Roddy McDowall, and Darin says part of Sprigg’s concept of memories being the most important came from a conversation he had with Roddy while Roddy was dying of cancer.
  • Percy’s current distrusting attitude towards the gods came directly from his interaction with the Raven Queen. However, he didn’t know there was a god of knowledge and has been “chewing on it a lot, and what it means to have faith in knowledge.” He sees the library as a testament to faith in humanity and the good works of life and how important memory is and is blown away by it. “Books have always been about finding meaning and this whole library thing has changed him.” Taliesin expected Percy to be much more resistant to Ioun and was surprised at how quickly the books sold him.
  • Darin felt as the scenes progressed that his role was to “illuminate” CR as to where they were and what they could be. Taliesin and Percy both wondered if he was Scanlan from the future. Darin had the choice of being Scanlan’s dad, but declined.
  • Percy picked Vesper because her namesake was the last person he’d talked to in real life.
  • The only place Travis can think of worse for Grog is if the books were replaced with clothing & a For Sale sign. “Grog has a beatnik poet inside him waiting to get out.”
  • Darin’s advice to Keyleth was total improv. He almost cried when she touched his hand. He loves funny characters that can become sad and/or touching.
  • Marisha has no idea how to get Keyleth out of her emotional nosedive. Watching Marisha break character from Keyleth at the end of an episode is one of Taliesin’s favorite things because they’re such different people.
  • Percy would seek out the lifebooks for all his family & ancestry because he’s fascinated with legacy, and Whitestone is full of ghost stories. He had lots of stories he’d planned to give as part of the gnomes’ tour, and tells one about a woman forced into a marriage who slowly poisoned her husband over a number of years.
  • Sprigg feels he is what Scanlan might become. He did not expect to survive the episode.
  • If they were really in Ioun’s halls, Travis would love to see the books of his family and of JFK. Darin would like to see his father’s book. Darin also likes wearing suits, which is why he wears suits. He only wears t-shirts at the gym. (At one point Darin’s family also owned 20 horses???). He wishes his parents could see him now because they were so supportive when he was growing up.

Honor! Justice! After Dark, After Dark, After Dark!

  • If the challenge for Ioun involves any physical activity, Grog will fight Percy for it.
  • Bucket lists: Travis wants to swim with a great white shark. (Darin’s biggest fear is great white sharks.) Taliesin wants to travel to India. Darin wants to learn to tap dance, and casually drops that he used to dance with Cirque du Soleil.
  • Darin’s favorite color is black. His favorite season is winter.
  • There’s a video somewhere of Darin de Paul and Steve Blum pretending to be zombies and running towards the camera.
  • Travis and Darin do Reinhardt “impressions” by talking in high-pitched baby voices. Taliesin does a pretty decent actual impression! Darin likes that there’s heroes for every playstyle.
  • Darin hasn’t told Matt’s parents he brought back Sprigg. He also used to have a crush on Matt’s mom.
  • If Darin could pick any character from VM to play, he would play Scanlan. Brian teases the entire world by saying he would play “the character Pike’s in love with.”
  • Darin’s twitter flooded after last Thursday and he wishes he could respond to all of the kind messages.
  • Darin once shared floss with Gilbert Gottfried as part of an old bit.
  • Darin feels his whole history has led to this moment last Thursday where he had the chance to create a story with people he loved.
  • Laura read the Game of Thrones books as they came out, well before the show started. Brian just found the copy of the first book she lent him in 2010, which he still hasn’t read.
  • If Sprigg could fight any D&D monster, it would be a hobgoblin.

anonymous asked:

What's your opinion on this robot harry?For me it's so annoying he can't even pretend to be excited for his own tour, his social media presence is such a turn off

Well I’m sort of digging myself a grave with this one, but since I haven’t seen a post I can fully agree with, here we go. Disclaimer, I actually study this at uni. I was the Social Media Manager for the planning and putting together of a fashion show, on all platforms. I just handed in last month a 6-months marketing plan that was based around social media promo. So I do have a bit of knowledge in this area. I am by no means an expert, but this is my future field of choice, so I like to think I’m at least educated.

The situation isn’t as black and white as people have put it so far. All I’ve seen is “he’s horrible at engaging with fans” and “he doesn’t own you shit so stop complaining”. The answer is a very big grey area in which Harry’s actual social media presence fits perfectly in my opinion. First of all, there’s two main templates we studied for marketing purposes this year, Gaynor Lea Greenwood’s promotion suggestions (2009) and Burcher (2013)’s Paid, Owned and Earned media concept. Long story short, the first one is your traditional marketing campaign and the second one relies more on social media and advertising on it. Now, I think Harry’s team went for the more traditional approach, and let me explain why.

Harry started distancing himself more and more from twitter and Instagram ever since the hiatus started.Even before, during OTRA and MITAM promo, most of his tweets were promo stuff, lyrics I’m not sure we fully understand even now, charity work, promoting friends or tweeting about holidays/important days or events. His fan interaction has been low for quite a while, and I’m honestly baffled people are acting like this is news. Looking through his Twitter in 2015, there are some tweets to fans, yes, but they’re very sparse.I counted about 12 in 5 months, most of them in September, when Perfect came out, and around the release of MITAM.His tweets were mostly thanks to fans for various awards and nominalisation, promoting the songs/album, some lyrics and, without fail, after every concert he tweeted a thank you for coming.

It felt more personal than what we have now (tho in all honesty, his tour hasn’t started yet and if we eliminate the OTRA tweets it’s already a different story), but Robot Harry has been a thing then, and people were riding along with it instead of condemning it to the extent they do now.But, the thing is, Harry didn’t have the entire burden of engaging with the fanbase like he has now.Louis, Niall and Liam always took turns in taking the lead in replying to fans and interacting with them, which allowed Harry to do his part and everyone was mostly happy.

And yet, I personally don’t feel this frustration many people feel. I think it’s quite interesting actually. A bold move that wouldn’t work for other artist whose career relies on people who live and breathe social media (maybe Beyonce or Adele, but they are in another league). I was very intrigued by Harry’s statement in the Behind the album video, in which he said that there was a time in his life when people knew everything about him, and he didn’t like it.He has been overexposed since 2012, his personal life splashed across tabloids, fake relationship or not.And now he disappeared for a year (and has been retreating into himself for at least 2) and he wrote this mysterious™ album, trying to see if people can listen and understand it without knowing much about the current him. In this context, having an album that surrounds itself in mystery and then doing 4 Q&As on twitter and 3 livestreams sends…extremely contradictory messages. I can, and will fault his team for presenting a dual image of Harry that sometimes makes 0 sense, for handling a lot of things so poorly, and for the entire Carolina mess, but I will say that his social media fits this old school mysterious rockstar image they’re showing of him. I also think his actual reason is very personal and very real, and I respect the fact that he didn’t compromise this choice he made for promo purposes.

His promo relied on more traditional channels. TV and radio appearances, print magazines, and most importantly, the secret gigs. Now, I’m sorry, but I felt entirely more connected to Harry running across London at 8AM in my pyjamas than by any twitter spree he’ll ever do. I never did this before. This reminded me of the stories my dad told me, of queuing up for days in front of the box office so he’d get the tickets when they went on sale. It was very old school and it worked for me. It was a phenomenal experience, something I will never forget. And he did this for us. All profits went to charity, he didn’t do this for money. And while I know this was for a few selected cities and a handful of lucky fans, it was intimate and it was special and I think everyone, regardless if they were there, or vicariously living through pics and videos, felt a connection to Harry. We got emotional on his behalf when he sang with his idol on stage 2 weeks later, you don’t do that for someone you have no connection to.

Now, the actual reason I’m happy with what we’ve got is that it is genuine from my POV. Liam is the perfect candidate for a comparison, since he also took a bit of a break from social media (not as heavy as Harry’s, but he definitely wasn’t as active as Louis or Niall) and his promo is as textbook as it gets. He slowly, but surely increased his activity since January, a few more tweets, a few more pics on Instagram.A big turning point was April when he posted 13 pics on Instagram, compared to 8 in March, 4 in February and 3 in January. His Twitter went through a similar process.Now, the moment he started posting more, I knew his music was gonna be out soon. It’s pure marketing. You start your campaign weeks before the actual launch, it’s only natural. Unless you want to drop it as a surprise, but that’s another discussion. Actually Harry did it too, with the TV ad, but that was ruined by the info getting leaked beforehand and everyone getting pissed off by that so whatevs. Now, Liam is going for the approachable celeb route. Streams, Instagram stories, snapchat, tweeting fans, loads of pics, videos with popular Youtubers. It’s nice and about as well handled as it gets (apart from that weird video release earlier than it should have been and Liam just generally being a bit…odd?off?idk how to explain it, but a lot of people feel the same way from what I’ve seen). It fits with the image Liam is going for, it aims at the right target audience. He’s not trying to enter a new market like Harry is. He’s consolidating his place in the current market from what I’ve seen (and I’ll admit I haven’t followed his promo as closely as Harry’s). Trying to imagine Harry doing this sort of promo doesn’t really work for me.

Niall has been present on and off social media ever since he came back from his trip last year. Literally, if I pull up the calendars people have been making each month, he doesn’t get more than a handful of days without doing something, so it’s unfair to compare him to the others, since he’s always around and posting and doing stuff.

Louis deserves a better team and I won’t have anyone uttering anything else in my presence, and yet somehow, despite Niall’s constant presence and Liam’s textbook engagement, I’ll never feel as connected to them as I feel to Louis. Louis’ tweets are the perfect mixture of absolutely adorable fan service (“our year” 😭😭) and some of the things he’s passionate about (tv shows, fashion, footie/sports). His promo for JHO was….I have no words for it and I’m gonna have a rage fit if I start thinking about it, but his overall persona is charming and endearing when he’s posting things himself. He created a real communication channel between us and him and he knows how to use it when he needs to send a message (warning selfies anyone?Only you?). There’s an actual analysis of Instagram stats that shows he’s the number 1 male account in engagement and overall likes and that doesn’t surprise me one bit. Louis is a smart businessman, he has a loyal fanbase who is here for him through thick and thin.

And on top of everything I said so far, none of them owe us anything outside the promo bubble. Apart from shoots, songs/albums/tours info and official announcements, they do not owe us anything. If they chose to share a picture from their home, that’s their personal space, and while it’s good for PR, amazingly good in a society that thrives from the feeling of knowing everything about everyone (like what’s your fave’s breakfast and how’s their cat is doing), it’s still a part they can choose to keep private and no one should be entitled to ask for more.

Have you seen Adele’s Instagram? It gives you this illusion of closeness to her, with make up free selfies, funny poses and landscape shots. Too bad literally everything is from touring and other official appearances right? There’s one picture of her home, and that’s to celebrate the end of the tour. Harry sort of did the same with the booklet pictures. He allowed you into his personal space in a controlled manner, just like Adele did. Only he did it in a different way. His promo is just different and you have to think a bit outside the box to see that he actually did a lot of things other artists do. Just a bit differently. Was it perfect?Fuck, no. Was it as bad as many people make it look like?Personally, I don’t think so. It was just different and people are entirely justified to see it as a good or a bad thing. I see it mostly as a good thing. Mostly.

anonymous asked:

i feel very sad right now. i guess it's just cause change is scary and we don't know a lot. i really hope something is said soon

okay, there are a lot of you coming to me now saying you’re really upset/worried about the whole potential moving situation and as i’m feeling (shockingly) level-headed and calm here’s a response to all of you:

1. if they happen to move separately, if, they will without a shadow of a doubt make it as seamless as possible for us, so much so it’ll be hard to tell anything was different other than a different background which we would be expecting whether they move together or apart. they’re both extremely picky and perfectionists when it comes to their videos and editing, we know that, and they’ll try their hardest to make it so we’d never know

2. think about it logically: their careers literally couldn’t be any more intertwined. they both earn money 90/10 against dinof/ap views from their collective brand, dan AND phil. the gaming channel earns them both a ton of revenue, and if they lived apart, they’d constantly be at each other’s houses anyway for business and admin purposes, and it’s not as if they’re daily vloggers, it’d be near impossible for us to tell the difference anyway. i’ve seen people compare it to joe and caspar moving apart, but here’s the difference: joe and caspar’s careers were never linked other than the htr movies/their production company. they had solo projects all the time, their own merch and books etc, whereas dan and phil literally have everything together. the only exception is dan’s supergamers documentary back in the day, and there’s been nothing since, and the gaming channel has skyrocketed since then, earning him a fuckton more money than the solo project did.

3. they have both expressed multiple annoyances about living in the flat they’re in (discussed them together, in most cases) and have expressed wanting the same things in the future (mainly a dog which i am on board with) and yet neither of them have expressed wanting their own space at all (whereas joe and caspar both did before moving out) and phil being the age he is, bless him, should be settling down wherever he moves to next, and i’m almost positive he’d be talking about living in his own space if he were moving out on his own, private life guarding aside, he’d at least have joked about it, i’m sure.

4. the gaming channel. moving out separately would be so so damaging for their revenue. dinof/ap vids get amazing views, yes, but we know that they both, as i’ve said before, are such perfectionists about their main channel videos. whereas they can upload a spontaneous, unscripted gaming video at literally any time, any day and get over a million views and crazy likes/comments on it, and they upload far more regularly on that channel and it’s very beneficial to their bank balances, they’d be stupid to give that up, unless they both have some crazily successful solo projects lined up but would a one time thing beat constant high rates of revenue? you do the mental math

5. their interactions. this might seem as if i’m grasping at straws, but hear me out. their bond has only gotten stronger over the years. they’ve become so dependent on each other without it bordering on unhealthily, it’s a marvel to witness, and quite honestly, if they were to move separately, they wouldn’t keep apart from each other, they’d constantly be sleeping on each other’s sofas and having movie nights four times a week etc. it’s hard to imagine them being happy living alone when they’ve only gotten closer and gotten so used to having their daily lives blend into one.

6. ‘our legacy’. everything they’ve put out into the world that they’re most proud of has been a joint effort. tabinof, dapgo, tatinof, the 7sc app…. all under the dan AND phil umbrella. it’s more than a marketing strategy. they’d have stopped long before now if it was, nobody would put themselves through it for however many years they’ve been at this now if they were just in it for the money. their brand is together, but so are they. does this tie into the point above? yes. but i felt it was important to mention because some people are beginning to question if anything they’ve done is legit, and, just answer me this: would you have spent months on end in a cramped tour bus and cramped hotel rooms with the same person if you weren’t happy with them? i meaaan.

7. everything happens for a reason. if they decide to move separately, it won’t have been a decision made on a whim, they’ll have sat down together and thought it through thoroughly, considering how much would be changing in their lives. they’d be making the decision - whatever the decision - for the sake of their own happiness and though we’d all be sad for different amounts of time, i know that we’d all get over it in time to know that the people we admire are happier than they were before, they are grown men at the end of the day and all that.

8. maybe this is all for nothing! they might not even be moving out of the phlat and maybe they’ll be moving together after all, only time will tell (but if they do move together it’s gonna be permanent, like i said, phil being the age he is kinda warrants settling down by society’s typical standards) but please try to just enjoy the videos they give us in the meantime and remember that there’s always a possibility of a rainbow just as much a possibility of a storm :)

anonymous asked:

Emma, I'm praying you'll go gentle with me as I don't want to be blocked and you've answered so many anons of mine so lovely over the years. I just experienced a 'clunk' moment reading the NYT article. H talks about not worrying whether he resonates with what's being played on the radio right now. I know they're different people, but I remember Louis saying how he'd watched what the music theme was right now before JHO, and everyone went 'yay, business man'. This feels a little bit of shade?

alright, sorry, this answer is long and i’m not sure if i explained my thinking clearly, but here you go anyway.

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anonymous asked:

Hi! This is mainly a big thank you for everything you do! And big virtual hugs going your way (Only if you don't mind!)!! If you have the time, what was your opinion on the Third Years in Winners and Losers? I know you already talked a lot about them and how there were a lot of moments that were amazing, but was there a particular moment you really enjoyed or connected to?

Again, since this asks for a Winners and Losers review, this ask will be answered separately outside of the compilation post of answers that’ll follow later.  Full answer under the Read More to avoid spoilers!

(also hugs are my jammmm more please)

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#139 - For anonymous

Filling the prompt “ok so we all know how much van wants kids. as someone how primarily doesn’t want any kids, it’d be kinda interesting to see your approach on a fic about that??? maybe angsty, maybe doesn’t end happily; whatever you wanna do!”

Somehow you didn’t hear about the Van McCann Wants A Million Babies dream until you’d been dating for months. You were at the cinema, snuggled down in the back row together. A child ran up and down the stairs screaming.

“Fuck me. I hope they shut them up before the movie starts,” you said, reaching your hand into the box for more popcorn. When Van didn’t reply you looked over at him. Spacey expression, watching the kid; you waved close to his face. He looked over at you suddenly, snapping out of the daydream.


“The kid?” you repeated.

“Yeah. Dead cute, innit. Can’t wait to have ten of my own,” he said nonchalantly. You bit your tongue and changed the subject.

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yes but there’s also 

  • ‘I’m hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
  • 'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It’s time to pay up.’ au
  • 'Who keeps using my wifi?’ 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.’ au
  • Tried to unlock the wrong car in the parking garage au
  • 'I’m on the FBI’s most-wanted list for killing a fuck ton of people, but calm down I just wanna date you bc your face is v smoochable and you give me butterflies.’ au
  • See also; 'Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
  • 'We really should not have played Monopoly’ au
  • Life-sized version of Clue in the old manor on the hill au
  • 'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you’re hot and I’m thirsty but now I’ve developed actual feelings for you bc you’re a genuinely good person’ au
  • 'Fuck me you’re cute why did we have to meet on the one day I decided to stay in my sweats??’ au
  • 'I went to the bar last night bc I just got dumped and wanted to drink away my pain but then one thing lead to another and somehow I broke into your house thinking it was mine and now I can’t find my left shoe but are those waffles I smell?’ au
  • 'I saw that you were reading Eleanor and Park have you gotten to the part where she leaves him and if so can we talk about it because not a lot of people have read this book and I need a shoulder to cry on.’ au
  • 'You passed out in Disneyland and I’ve been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??’ 'Yes I’m okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?’ 'I’m the face character for Peter Pan but that’s not important’ au
  • 'I don’t really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you’ve already turned him down, so I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend  until they leave you alone.’ au
  • Bonnie and Clyde au???
  • Attend same-sex privet schools that are right across the street from each other au
  • Masquerade au
  • 'I don’t like you and you don’t like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we’ve got to act civil and end up falling for each other’ au
  • [Basically a Life As We Know It au]
  • 'Found your number inside of a library book that looks like it hasn’t been checked out in ages and decided to text you to see if it worked au
  • 'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I’m freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don’t get a lot of time together but fuck no please don’t leave me not yet no.’ au
  • 'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it’s haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?’ au
  • 'I know that you’re really into school and probably don’t want to risk your spot on the college football team, but would you mind if I smoked in our dorm room??’ au
  • Followed by 'Nah, I don’t care, as long as I can shotgun some smoke from that pretty little mouth of yours.’ au wow that got sexual and I am not sorry.
  • Went to the beach for the first time au
  • Ancient Rome au
  • Rival team captains who know nothing about personal space and constantly get into fights where they end up face-to-face every single game until one day one of the coaches yells at them to either kiss or get back to the game au
  • 'Hey, so I might have just robbed a bank right now and I kind of need a getaway car, would you pleeeeeaaase help me I can pay you back in sexual favors but also cash.’ au
  • 'I know that you don’t know me, but you were on the receiving end of my girlfriend/boyfriend’s heart donation and being around you kind of makes it feel like they’re still here I’m sorry if that’s kind of weird.’ au
  • 'Shit I wasn’t watching where I was walking and ended up spilling my Rockstar all over your white sweater I’m so sorry here have my jacket.’ au
  • Caught yelling at Go, Diego, Go in the hospital waiting room and after an awkwardly long period of silence the other person joins in bc they’ve got nothing better to do with their waiting time au
  • 'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they’re p hot but it’s v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.’ au
  • It’s three am, I just wanted some clam chowder, and some how I ended up on Hollywood Bl. can you please tell me where a good restaurant is I think I’m going to cry.’ au
  • 'Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we’re dating so they don’t think I’m hung up on them I swear I’ll pay you later.’ au
  • 'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.’ au
  • 'So I know we just met but it’s raining and my tent has a hole in it, could I sleep in your camper with you?’ au
  • 'Okay okay okay I know we’re just friends and I don’t want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we’re dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister’s wedding as my plus one so my mom won’t know I lied?’ au
  • 'Hit me, we’re on college campus and you’ll have to pay for my tuition’ au
  • 'Your headphones aren’t plugged in all the way so that hardcore porn fic you’ve been listening to for the past ten minutes has been broadcasting through the bus on full volume.’ au
  • The Breakfast Club au
  • Wimbledon [the movie] au
  • West Side Story au
  • 'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I’m always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I’ve never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we’re actually dating shh]’ au
  • 'It’s two am, we’re standing outside of our apartment building bc someone pulled the fire alarm, and you look cold and unprepared, do you want to share my blanket?’ au
  • Heartache On The Big Screen au
  • Breakfast At Tiffany's au omg pls
  • 'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can’t believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.’ au
  • Long Way Home au
  • We like each other but our dogs don’t so I’m going to have to ask you to stop taking this walking route you attractive fucker’ au
  • 'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don’t end up being the same person. And that’s something I had to learn the hard way.’ Au
3. 'I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never do anything for our friendship.'//Derek

I’ve decided to turn the imagines into blurbs, since I’m struggling with school.

I grab my phone of my nightstand, letting my thoughts get the best of me. I scroll down my call list until I get about mid-way there. ‘Man, I feel were drifting away if we haven’t talked for this long’,I think. Its now or never. I let the phone ring a couple times only to go to voice mail.

I sigh, putting phone back on the night stand.

‘Its 11 PM Y/N what do you expect. He’s probably fucking someone for all you know.

’ I try to compose myself from screaming. I hated the fact that I had fallen for Derek. I mean, its not like he’s gonna like me back. I’m just his childhood friend nothing more. If he wants a girl, he can get one in no time.

About 3 hours later, I was watching OITNB on my laptop, when my began to ring. I smiled at the caller ID, then cleared my throat and put on a straight face.

“Hey Derek,” I say quietly, putting my phone on speaker and playing with the ends of my hair.

“Hi Y/N, I have this really hot girl in my apartment right now, so can you make it quick.” My face dropped entirely when he mentioned ‘hot chick’.

“You know what, this can wait, go get you some pussy, have fun!” I hang up the phone and just bury my face into my hands.

My phone dinged for I don’t know how long after, telling me I had received a message

Open the fucking door its cold

. I didn’t even have to check the ID because Derek was the only person I knew that complains about the weather all the time. I open the door for him and let him in. “This better be important because I just gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never do anything for this friendship.” Derek growled sitting on the couch.

“Uh, thats why I called you, about our friendship.” My leg bounced up and down nervously.


“Derek I feel like were drifting apart and you’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had, I don’t want to lose you. You mean a lot to me. You’ve been here during my worst and my best. Ever since you went on tour with Nate, as the days passed my feelings got stronger. I do understand if you don’t have feelings for me but I’ve been thinking about this alot and I just felt the need to get this off my chest.”

“Damn, Y/N, that was cute and sweet and deep.” He chuckled and smiled before removing his hat and running his fingers through his hair. “I mean, you’re not the only one who’s been feeling that way. I caught feelings for you too, that’s why I’ve been trying to have sex with these other girls just to get you out of my mind but its not working. I guess one of was bound to let their feelings out at some stage.” He smiled at me.

“Do you want to try this out?“ I asked looking at the flat screen TV before us.

“I’d love to.” He opened up his arms letting me crawl into them

anonymous asked:

What about a fic where Junkrat realizes he's in love with a friend? I just. I just love this filthy little bab I don't-- he's cute.

No judgement here, Anon. He can be a real sweetheart, when he’s not blowing people up.

Roadhog made a good listener.

Or well, Junkrat thought he was listening. In reality, he could have been ignoring him entirely, but Junkrat was pretty sure he was listening. He usually paid attention when Junkrat was even more jittery than usual.

See, Junkrat had a problem. He’d been okay since they’d joined these Overwatch guys, since they let him blow things up, and he had wanted to go legit. He’d even been tolerating the Omnics, and that was because of -well, that brought him back to his real problem.


You were his problem. You’d been as wary as anyone when the Junkers had first arrived, but you’d been the one to volunteer to give them a tour of the base, to have them on your team during training, to show them around the towns close to WPG. You’d been putting a lot of energy into helping them -and Junkrat was stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Which was kinda sad. You’d be good company, if you weren’t making them owe you.

As Roadhog watched Jamieson rant about your possible ulterior motives, he remembered that Jamieson had no memories from before the wasteland. He had no concept of altruism, even though he’d shown himself capable of it on rare occasions. Rarely experienced someone being kind simply because it was the right thing to do.

Admittedly, Roadhog only had the vaguest memories of people doing that. The ones who’d tried to help had been amongst the first to die after the Omnium exploded -those that had survived the fallout were betrayed or sacrificed themselves. Idiots, Roadhog had thought. But the rules were different here.

As Jamieson ran out of steam, Roadhog explained that you probably weren’t expecting anything from them. That you probably just wanted to be friends.

“Oh,” he said. 

The rest of the world was different from the wasteland. Junkrat had figured that out even in Sydney. People weren’t as accepting of things like shooting anyone who touched your stuff -no, they had proper ways to deal with that. But there were always people looking to take advantage of others. They were just more sneaky about it here.

And that’s how he ended up yelling at the stupid cowboy, because where Jamie was from he was putting out dangerous signals and aiming for you.

It’s just because he doesn’t want to feel like he owed you, he assured himself. Because while you might expect nothing from him, he still hates feeling like he’s in debt. But all he did was make more work for you, pulling him away and explaining that Jesse was just kidding around. 

Jesse took it well, gives him a smile showing a few too many teeth for his liking and waves away the whole incident. 

“No worries. I got into fights over less when I first joined,” Jesse said after Jamie gave him an awkward apology. That’s another thing he doesn’t get about this place -how easily slights are forgiven.

You took off sometime during his talk with Jesse. A pit formed in his stomach, one he couldn’t explain away by claiming he just owes you. 

For all he was outgoing, Jamie was reserved in his own way. He didn’t like being vulnerable, didn’t like how it made him feel. Jamie had been alone, relied on himself, for years. Things were different now, had been for a few years. But Roadhog, at least, he could say was just in it for the money when the idea of anything deeper was too stressful. You didn’t have that excuse.

He had to find Roadhog, Roadhog knew things about how things worked here. Roadhog could help.

But Roadhog was busy.

“He’s just been acting strange lately. Is he alright?”

Junkrat threw himself into the wall before he could turn the corner, nearly knocking himself out in his haste to hide. It was you, talking to Roadhog. It was almost comical, you two standing next to each other. Roadhog appeared impassive as a statue while you wrung your hands together.

“He’s fine.”

“Then is he upset or something? I know being here must be difficult for him.” There was concern in your voice, genuine concern, and he pushed away the warmth he felt in favour of being pissed that you’d go behind his back.

Just before he built up the courage to round the corner, Roadhog spoke.

“Why do you care?”

Junkrat stopped short, leg bouncing with unspent energy. He tried to get it to shut up, worried he’d make some noise and alert you, but it didn’t listen to him so he flattened himself against the wall and hoped for the best.

“I- it’s the right thing to do,” you said simply, and Roadhog snorted, a rare expression of amusement that didn’t sound totally sincere.

“Don’t lie.” The order was flatly delivered. No threat accompanied it, but there was something about the way he spoke that implied it. Junkrat’s leg jiggling grew worse.

Either not noticing his tone or ignoring it, you groaned in frustration. “I just want to help out a friend, alright?”

“Friend,” Roadhog repeated, doubtful. Which was weird, because Roadhog had been the one to say you wanted to be friends in the first place, so why was he questioning you on that? Without realising it, Junkrat had started chewing on his nails, a habit he’d been told was dirty by the doctor ever since he got here.

“What are you-” A sigh, defeated and annoyed. “Whatever else I feel, I want to do right by him first, okay?”

The urge to run in nearly overwhelmed Jamie, but he needed to hear what happened next. He didn’t like eavesdropping -it felt too wimpy, too much like the shitty tactics suits used- but they were talking about him, so it was fair, right?

Roadhog grunted, and in the silence that followed Jamie knew what was happening. Roadie was staring at you, silent, a tower of judgement or terror. It had worked with a hundred bank tellers, junkers, and fast food workers. 

And apparently, it worked on you.

“I like him, okay? But that’s not-”

“I RECKON I LIKE YOU TOO!” Jamie yelled, bursting around the corner without taking another moment to consider the consequences. He stared at you, mouth still hanging open from whatever you were about to say. You stared at him, shock freezing you. Roadhog looked between the both of you, and then lumbered off, leaving you alone.

Jamie’s hands clenched and unclenched into fists, as he tried not to panic, to think about what this meant -how this could turn Overwatch into more than just a temporary job, how this could make him stay, make you expect things of him-


He shook his head, cutting you off, mind racing -trying to figure out where to go from here, what he should do. He didn’t realise he’d taken a step back until you took a short one forward.

“Nothing has to change right now,” you told him quietly.

Jamie’s mind re-focused on the present, almost to a painful point -trying to analyse your expression, your words, think up a response and figure out what he wanted all at once.

In the end, all he could manage was, “In all those movies-”

“Jesse’s movies aren’t the most realistic,” you said, still using a gentle tone. You took another step forward, and when he didn’t flinch away, continued until you were standing just outside of his personal space. “You can go away and think about this, alright? You don’t have to decide what you want right now.”

Jamie couldn’t hide his sigh of relief. You smiled to see him relax, if only a bit.

“…Thanks, mate,” he mumbled. Or his version of mumbling, anyway, which still wasn’t very quiet, but got the point across. 

“Take all the time you need,” you assured him, waiting for him to bridge the distance -which he did, with an awkward pat of the shoulder, a stark contrast to his usual disregard for personal space. Then his wild grin returned.

“I know what’ll help me think!” he declared, turning and running off metal leg jangling all the way.

“Keep the explosions to the training rooms!” you called after him.

He laughed, the sound echoing down the hallway. 

anonymous asked:

i am very scared, confused, and curious as to what this 'Hadaka Shitsuji' is, if my wapanese is correct the title means 'Naked Butler', but the screenshots didn't look that bad (not the google one anyway) you sure you don't wanna explain it? (like the way you did with sweet pool)


Hadaka Shitsuji (Naked Butler) is a BL game made in 2011 by the studio Mada Koubou. What a lot of people don’t realize is that Mada Koubou isn’t actually a company- it’s just one guy. The only other people involved in the production of this game are the voice actors (including the great Kazuhiko Inoue whom you’ll recognize as the voice of Kakashi from Naruto or Miyagi from Junjou Romantica). All the other voice actors are either haven’t been in anything else or are using aliases (and for good fucking reason!). Also according to a very reliable source, the creator’s own mother and brother were involved in the making of this shitfest. :I It’s just a very bizarre thing that shouldn’t exist if there is really a God.

The game itself stars Tomoaki Maeda- a college student living in a shitty little apartment and paying his way through life working part-time at a restaurant. He’s not exactly a nice character and does a lot of complaining, but don’t worry- he gets a lot fucking worse later. One day, out of the blue, an ad comes in the mail about a full-time job that pays a butt-load of money per day and all you have to do is sit and do nothing. Doubtful of the ad’s legitimacy, Tomoaki steels himself and goes to the address on the ad anyway.

When Tomoaki gets there, he’s greeted with the sight of a huge mansion and a young man dressed in a snappy suit welcoming him in the front yard.

The young man introduces himself as Sakuma (voiced by Kazuhiko Inoue)- the head butler of the estate. He explains that the master of the manor is away and the ad Tomoaki received was an application to watch over the mansion for a month until the master returns. Tomoaki is still very skeptical, but follows Sakuma inside anyway.

Upon entering the mansion, Tomoaki is given the run-down of the entire place by an elderly gentleman named Mizoguchi.

It’s Mizoguchi’s job to tell Tomoaki everything he needs to know as well do everything he says. He’s basically exposition the character and he explains further about the master being away and Tomoaki taking over for 30 days. Basically, he tells Tomoaki that he has free access to everything and anyone in the manor. He can eat, do, steal, etc. anything he wants. Of course, this also means that all the servants in the house must obey every order he gives- no matter what. His word is absolute and for someone like Tomoaki…. power is a horrible thing to give. :/

Sakuma gives Tomoaki the grand tour of the mansion and introduces all the other butlers in the house. First, we have Arisato.

Arisato is the youngest and while he may look about 12- don’t worry, he’s totally legal. He’s a little clumsy and still learning about what it takes to be a great butler like Sakuma, but he’s real cute so you’ll have to excuse him.

Next is Toudou. Toudou is the bara character who looks big and tough on the outside, but is actually just a big teddy bear who gets flustered easily and is really quick to apologize.

Sakuma leads Tomoaki out into the garden and introduces him to the gardener, Ichinose (bless you Ichinose im so sorry about what happens to you </3). Ichinose is shy, timid, and connects more with plants than he does with people. Tomoaki thinks he’s creepy and weird right off the bat but he’s actually a big sweetie uNLIKE YOU TOMOAKI GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Back inside, Sakuma leads Tomoaki to the kitchen and introduces him to the head chef, Komine. Komine is fun-loving and bouncy as heck. Also probably has ADD or some kind of head trauma. Also he has a kansai accent, which is actually really effing adorable okay (ugh komine im so sorry about you too fUCK)

There ain’t much of an overarching “story” per se- things just kind of happen depending on which butler Tomoaki talks to regularly. And you’ll have to forgive me since I haven’t even played the whole game and the routes I have played I must’ve done over a year ago. :/

Basically, the idea is that Tomoaki is an evil douchebag to these poor boys. Over time, he becomes physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually abusive towards all of them and the good endings are the ones where Tomoaki makes them submit entirely to his will until they are broken of mind, body, and spirit. D: Playing the game makes you feel like you’re in the head of a fucking serial rapist who’s only interest is making innocent people suffer because he fucking can. So if you like rape, bondage, physical abuse, cum eating, bukkake, water sports, cum inflation, cross-dressing, food play, voyeurism, beastiality, gang rape, torture porn, sado-masochism, people as public toilets, penis nipples, and all that fucking ahegao, you are in for a treat. Me, on the other hand…Fuck you Tomoaki. :I

Also I’d like to mention that the voice actor of Ichinose and the voice actor of Tomoaki are actually best friends. Because that’s not fucking weird.

anonymous asked:

Hello! Could you do a 'jhope as a boyfriend' I don't know how many requests you have so take your time, thanks!

aWWW Hoseok as a bf ;v; I’m crying bc he is such a little muffin asdfghjkl thank you for this lovely request anon <3 I hope you are having a wonderful day and I hope this makes you smile ! *hugs*

BTS’ J-Hope as your Boyfriend:

  • Having Hoseok as a boyfriend would be so heart warming~ You’ll definitely have a fun time with him!
  • He would make you watch kdramas and melodramatic movies with him all the time
  • When you forget your charger you need not to worry, because Hoseok would most likely carry one with him.
  • Despite carrying chargers all the time, Hoseok would tell you that you’re the only one who charges him 100% <3
  • You’d be surprise by the amount of skin care products he owns, he takes half of the counter space because of it.
  • But he also uses your stuff???? 
  • Being with J-Hope means staying in bed with lots of food and a kdrama marathon and lots of cuddling
  • Wraps you with a blanket to form a burrito~
  • He loves to kiss your cheeks and hold you tight <3
  • Okay but when you’re feeling down, best believe it that he will know in a split second. 
  • He would comfort you in the smallest way at first, like making circles on your palms or making you wrap your arms around him. 
  • Hoseok would then hug you tight and ask you what was the matter.
  • J-Hope doesn’t like to keep something unfinished.
  • Like arguments or misunderstandings, or stories, he would want to have closure on everything.
  • Hoseok would ask your opinion about a new choreography from time to time, but actually, he just wants to make you flustered from all the body rolling.
  • Showers with him would be a lot of fun, because you could feel 10x cleaner than before but half of the time, that’s not the case ;) ;) ;)
  • Despite being all rainbows and fluff, Hoseok can be a bit mischievous.
  • He would tease you to no end about that time you slipped on the floor in the practice room.
  • Or even hides your fave chips somewhere in your apartment because he’s evil like that.
  • But actually, Hoseok loves to mess around with you, it’s his way of showing his love and affection.
  • When he’s busy with his schedules, he’d randomly give you selcas 
  • but the ones you’ll receive are the ones with his nostrils are up close or his eyes rolled back into his head.
  • Loves to play with your fingers
  • But he loves to touch your body more.
  • He just enjoys touching you and hugging you and having you close to him.
  • Will be the type to encourage you all the time, so you don’t have to worry or doubt yourself.
  • One time, he tried to draw you, but the finished product looks like a dog played with a crayon and dragged the crayon on a piece of paper.
  • Hoseok is a sensitive guy, he would want to talk to you about his worries and problems and how his day went.
  • He would always  find the time to be with you, because being with you and communicating with you is important to him.
  • Okay but being with J-Hope is hella cool because you would exchange books and recommend a few books to each other? And it’s the cutest thing because the two of you can spend your whole day in the library or bookshop and the both of you will have the time of your lives :D
  • Is the one who makes the bed and organizes the vanity for the both of you because he loves you that much.
  • Will ask you to style his hair or just simply run your fingers through his locks because he finds comfort in it.
  • Makes sure the maknae line stays 500ft away from you because he knows them all too well.
  • Due to his friendly nature he would be open to everyone, which sometimes may lead to jealousy from you.
  • But Hoseok would take notice of it as early as possible and he would reassure you that you’re the only one for him.
  • Lots of piggybacks :D
  • But half of the time, you’re the one carrying him on you’re back :DD
  • Which may lead to some play wrestling
  • and also tickle fights
  • Which may lead to making out ;) ;) ;)
  • and which may lead to something else ;) ;) ;)
  • Seriously, anything you wear, he’d be very entranced by you.
  • That’s why he would randomly pull you in and have your body close to him because he would get flustered how good you looked.
  • He gets the best sleep whenever you’re beside him.
  • So one time, Namjoon asked you to come with them on tour because Hoseok would be hella tired all the time and he knows that J-Hope gets so much strength from you <3
  • You’ll have to have good stamina to be with J-Hope because that boy is hella extra
  • He’s like a pre-schooler, you need to leash him
  • Having Hoseok as a boyfriend would mean growing as a person and outgrowing your bad habits, because he would inspire you to be a better human being.
  • Will call you IN the middle of the night because he’s lonely and he misses you and it’s really not anything sexual, he just wants to hear your voice :(
  • Hoseok would really love you and would be so attached to you, he’d be the type of guy who would be happy in the smallest things you do for him :D

hey guys !! I wrote a swimmer!luke blurb and it was v fun !! request things friends !!
luke being a swimmer and seeing michael being dragged into the pool area by a curly haired boy, one day while luke was practicing for a big meet coming up. luke climbed out of the pool, grabbing a towel right away to cover his torso. even though he swam without a shirt on all the time and was totally comfortable basically naked around his team, cute boys seeing him half naked made him blush and he didn’t want to embarrass himself right now. “luke!” the curly haired boy called. ashton was the star swimmer on the team last year, before he graduated. luke took over his place, and now no one ever talked about ashton, only luke, luke, luke, and he hated it. ashton was the one who led the team to their big win, why did anyone bother talking about luke? the only thing he did was make it seem like another kid on a different team tripped him because he awkwardly fell into the pool one time, which got them into the next round because the other team was disqualified.
“what,” luke murmured, trying to avoid eye contact with the pretty boy.
“this,” ashton smiled, gesturing to pretty boy standing next to him, “is michael.”
“hi,” michael said quietly, and luke made the mistake of looking up at him. god, he was beautiful. pretty pink lips and soft pale skin. curves in all the right places and lilac hair. luke practically melted into the pool.
“uh, hi,” luke said, jutting his hand out to the smaller boy, “I’m luke.”
“I’ve heard tons about you,” michael grinned, “I bet you get that a lot, being a star swimmer and all.”
luke mentally groaned, “more than enough times a day do I hear that.”
“michael and I were watching you practice,” ashton said, “you need to work on your butterfly, your arms are weak!” ashton hit luke’s arm making luke wince. of course ashton would say that, his best stroke was butterfly after all.
“yeah, yeah,” luke rolled his eyes and rubbed the spot where ashton had hit him, “I’m going to go change, I’ll be right back-”
“hey luke?” ashton asked, grabbing luke’s shoulder.
“yeah?” luke groaned. he really didn’t want to deal with ashton right now, he wanted to be home. in bed. playing ds.
“why don’t you show michael around? I bet he’d like a tour.” ashton winked.
“no, it’s fine, I really don’t-” michael stopped mid sentence when ashton pushed him towards luke.
“fine,” luke huffed, dragging michael along.
“it’s pretty big in here,” michael murmured, taking a seat on one of the benches.
luke hummed and searched threw his locker to find some clean clothes.
“do you not like me or something? am I doing something wrong?” michael asked self consciously, standing up to face luke.
“what? why would you think that?” luke shook his head, turning to look at the lilac haired boy.
“you don’t seem to be having the greatest time with me,” michael sighed, “I can go if you want-” michael stopped short when luke pushed him against the wall of the changing room.
“what are you doing?” michael breathed, feeling luke pepper kisses down his neck.
“showing you want a great time I’m having,” luke whispered against michael’s neck.

Don't Let Go - Vic Fuentes and Jaime Preciado

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Don’t Forget Where You Belong- The One In Which Zayn Comes Back:

Yes, this based off ‘that’ text post that’s been going around for the past couple of days. Idk I just thought that I needed to write this to maybe give us all some hope? Hope you all are holding up well with the news. You can inbox me whenever you like if you ever need to talk. There will be some changing point of views in this. I hope you enjoy it :) xx

Zayn’s POV:

I glance up at the calendar, 25th of September. It’s been exactly six months since I left the band, left my brothers, left my previous life and to say that I miss it would be an understatement. They say you don’t truly appreciate what you have till it’s gone and I guess this is my life’s way of teaching me the lesson. But I don’t know, at that time I really needed the break and since I wasn’t being allowed one, I guess there was only one way out. I had to leave the band. It’s probably the biggest mistake of my life, I regret it every single day.

Life just isn’t the same anymore. It’s become too monotonous for me. Even though it was stressing me, I guess I’m used to the ‘different day, different city’  type of life now. The worst of it all is that they’re not around me, the four other lads. I can’t believe I thought that I would be able to live without them for this long. Six months since I’ve been away and it seems like everything has changed. Liam’s engaged, Niall’s found a girlfriend and Harry and Louis…they’re just the same old cheeky lads I know.

They don’t know this, nobody knows this, but I miss them more than I can admit. I’m trying to hold up the guard that I’m strong and I’m slowly getting over it but the truth is that each and every single day, I just want to go back and perform with my four best mates.

“Zayn, you’re doing it again…” Perrie interrupts my thoughts. I gaze up to her for an answer.

“What do you mean?” I ask, a puzzled expression on my face.

“You’re crying…again…” She says, answering my question. The two of us immediately go silent, not knowing what to say anymore. An uncomfortable silence fills the air and I cough to try and stop the awkwardness. Perrie looks up at me and sighs as though she’s trying to tell me something.

“Zayn, maybe you should go ba-“ but I cut her off.

“Perrie, you know I can’t. The fans all hate me, management hates me, heck I wouldn’t be surprised if the boys hate me too. I let them down” I dejectedly say, lowering my head and holding it in my hands. I’m so done with letting everyone down. I’ve let the boys down, the fans down, myself down and now I feel like I’m letting Perrie down too. Unexpectedly, she raps her arms around me, pulling me into her chest and lulling me to be quiet.

“I know how much you want to go back, it’s not hard to see. Sometimes you have to fight for what you need and I know that at this time, you need this more than anything. Don’t care what the fans say, you know the true ones will always be there for you. As for management, have you ever cared about what they have said? Don’t forget, the boys can never hate you. You belong with them and they belong with you. You know how incomplete you are without them and they’re incomplete without you too. They need you Zayn, they all need you. Every fan out in the crowds, every fan online, every fan who’s ever liked your music and every single one of those four boys. You’d be lying to yourself if you said they don’t all need you” she says, comforting me. I simply have a blank expression on my face. Do they really need me? Aren’t they all better off without me? That’s what all the media articles have been saying…but I don’t believe them. I need them…so they must need me…right?

“Come on, get up” she says, running to the closet. I give her a confused look.
“Where are we going?” I ask her, intrigued by her sudden movement.

“Where you belong!” she yells out before chucking me my Nike sneakers. Almost simultaneously, she grabs the car keys out of the bowl on the counter.

“Let’s go!” she excitedly giggles, holding my hand and dragging me out of the house, away from all my negative thoughts.


Perrie’s POV:

Nervously, I tap my fingers on the steering wheel. I didn’t realise that leaving at 6 p.m on a Friday night would have such drastic consequences. I underestimated London’s traffic but as long as Zayn gets back to the boys, it will all be worth it.

Eventually, we turn onto the street to park for the arena. Not wasting time parking properly, I stop the car in the zone clearly marked ‘No Stopping’ and grab the keys before jumping out the door, rushing to drag Zayn out with me. I think he’s still in shock, this entire scheme of mine still hasn’t registered properly in his head.

“Come on Zayn, we need to walk faster. The concert is about to start and we need to get you in there without anybody noticing!” I plead with him, trying to get him back down to Earth. In the distance, I can hear some paps calling out to us but I ignore all their words. We don’t have time for them, in fact, we never will because they were the ones who ruined it for Zayn from the start and I’m not letting them do that again.


Fan’s POV:

“Zayn Malik spotted outside London’s famous O2 Arena with fiancée Perrie Edwards?” I scream as the tweet update flashes on my lock screen. No, this can’t be…is he finally coming back? No, I can’t get my hopes up too high. There have been too many rumours of this already. He’s definitely going solo and working on his new music. It can’t be…or can it? I don’t know, I don’t want to get my hopes up again.

Zayn leaving the band really hit me hard. Ever since X Factor 2010, he’s been the light of my life and I honestly thought he was happy with the whole being in a band situation. I mean, they did say in This Is Us that they couldn’t do this without any one of them and if they were to continue, they wouldn’t be as successful, which is pretty true. I hate to admit it but over the past six months, their ratings have dramatically dropped and they’re just lacking that usual energy that they all have. They’re trying to keep it up for all us fans but it’s alright for them to give up. They haven’t had a proper break at all and all this is really getting to them. I’m pretty sure they haven’t even had time to properly get over Zayn yet…I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.

The lights dim as the opening video plays and I decide to put my phone away. Whatever happens, happens but I really hope he does come back- for himself, for us and most importantly for the boys.


Zayn’s POV:

“Zayn! It’s great to see you!” I startle as so many people come to give me a hug at once. Perrie stands a bit to the side and lets everyone else come towards me. I soften my hard outer expression, something that I’ve been doing quite a lot over the past few months, and let out a smile- a genuine one. It feels good to be back with the tour family. Caroline and Lou hug me for the longest time, not prepared to let me go. Lux comes up to me and starts tugging on my leg and I laugh, much to the shock of Perrie who hasn’t heard me do that at all for a while, and I pick her up, wrapping her in a hug.

“I missed chu Zayn!” she says, playing with the ends of my hair.

“I missed chu too Lux!” I answer, imitating her cute voice.

“Lux, how about you come here and play with this toy for a bit? I have to talk to Zayn for a bit” Lou calls out to Lux and I put her down to the ground as she races over to the toy. Lou makes her way over to me and signals for me to walk outside with her.

“So, I’ll talk to you later about everything but right now we need to get you ready. We have all your ear pieces and mics placed in a box right next to the other boys. Management wanted to dispose of them but the boys wouldn’t have any of it. They say that every time they get ready to go on stage and see your box of things, they feel that you’re with them in a way even though you’re physically not. They missed you too much Zayn.” Lou says, tearing up as she grabs my earpiece out of the box. It’s been a while since I have seen it so I smile a bit, remembering all the memories. I pull Lou into a hug and comfort her. I’m here now and I’m definitely not going anywhere, no matter what anyone says or tries to make me do.

“The plan is that you’ll surprise them all by going back on stage when they perform Don’t Forget Where You Belong. You know, they’ve been dedicating it to you every night on tour since you left?” she tell me and I nod as visions of me looking through all the post concert tweets play through my mind.

“I know” I sadly smile at her, regretting all that I’ve done. I should never have left them, I’ve only caused them pain.

“Cheer up, big guy! You’re on in 2 minutes!” Lou pats me on the shoulder, giving me a gentle push to the side stage area. I smile as the stage comes into my view. The boys are all giggling, having a great time, messing round with each other as they sing Better Than Words. The song comes to an end and the intro to Don’t Forget Where You Belong plays.

“We’d like to dedicate this one to a very special friend, our brother- Zayn” Liam says, his voice sinking a bit as though he’s disappointed that I’m not here with him.

“We miss you, bro” Louis adds before Liam starts singing his part almost effortlessly.

“Been a lot of places, I’ve been all around the world. Seen a lot of faces, never knowing where I was. On the horizon, well I know, I know, I know the sun will be rising, back home…” Niall then follows Liam, singing his part perfectly.

“Living out of cases, packing up and taking off. Made a lot of changes but not forgetting who I was. On the horizon, well I know, I know, I know the moon will be rising, back home…” They then all proceed to sing, the crowd singing along with them. I can’t believe that I left all of this in aims to get back to my normal life. My normal life is nothing compared to this. Sure it was fine the first two weeks where I just relaxed and all but after that it got boring and I couldn’t bring myself to do simple, everyday tasks anymore. I’d just sit around on the couch, like a potato.

The boys are up to the second chorus now and I can feel my stomach begin to churn. What if they don’t want me back anymore? What if I have no space left in the band? What if they all hate me? My breathing quickens and I concentrate on my love for them all to calm it down. It half works. The stage crew ushers for me go on stage. I’m meant to be surprising the boys, so they have no clue whatsoever about this entire set up.
Louis is currently singing his line and so I go to stand behind the curtain, waiting for him to finish before fully showing myself and continuing with the song.

“Lights off when they should be on, even stars in the skies, they’re wrong.” It’s my turn to sing now so I make my way in front of the curtain and sing my line.

“Short days when the nights are long, when I think of the things I’ve done” the entire audience including the boys begin to stare at me. I gulp a bit before proceeding with the song. They usually let fans sing my bit nowadays but I suppose that I’ve shocked them even more now. Louis eventually joins in and we continue together.

“Don’t matter how far I’ve gone, I’m always feeling at home” we sing together and smile. The chorus then comes but we all disregard it and end the song early, racing towards each other for a hug. Louis gets to me first and wraps his arms around me from behind, holding onto me so tightly that I lose oxygen in my body but it doesn’t matter to me. I’m glad to have him back in my life. The other three boys make their way to me to, each basically grabbing a limb and holding onto it for dear life.

I can hear the fans screaming in the background and it makes me smile even more. My worst fears are off my shoulder. They don’t hate me…none of them do. I will always have a home amongst these boys and these fans and they will always have a special place in my heart.  We eventually separate with many tears in our eyes and join together for a proper group huddle.

No words are exchanged but our looks speak a million of them. We’re all so relieved for different reasons and the interlocking of our arms is bringing us together as one, because that’s what we are…One Direction.

016. 5SOS Preferences: Ready, Set, Don't Go

If you liked the Nieces preferences, this involves a couple of those little girls. 


He was happy. He was supportive. He was proud. However, Michael was feeling incredibly sympathetic.

Never before had he properly appreciated the pain behind a goodbye hug at the airport. He had always been the one doing the leaving and while it was hard to walk away from home for months at a time, it felt a lot worse when you were the one being left behind as opposed to the one getting on the plane.

There wasn’t a selfish bone in Michael’s body that wanted to ask you to stay, to continue to be his supporter and visit him on tour, but he was still struggling to release his arms around your neck or take his chin off of the top of your head, even if your messy bun was making it hard for him to breathe. He didn’t care about the sound of clicking cameras and phones recording your departure, he could close his eyes and let the rest of the world fade away.

“You going to text me when you’ve landed?” He lifted up his head and smiled down at you, eyes wide with excitement for you. The last three years had been a constant adventure for him and you had soaked it all in through visits, phone calls, and video chats, but now you were going to have your own grand experience to write to him about and send him pictures of. Never in his life had he been so interested in Haiti, but now that you were off to spend a year building wells and helping run a girl’s shelter, he had been reading up on the Caribbean country. Of course, he was nervous for you, but he couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend who was cool enough to take something like this on. He was too chicken shit to go and live somewhere so different than where he was from. People thought Michael was brave to tour the world, but without a guitar in his hand, he was a knight without a shield, a soldier without any means of defense.  

“Yeah. I promise.” You were sure that you had promised him about a dozen times since he picked you up for the airport that morning, but what was a thirteenth time? “We’re going to talk all the time, just like we do now.” You slid your hands from his back to his sides, comforting him by holding him place right in front of you.

“Are you and I ever going to be in the same place?” He looked down at the space between both of your sneakers and checked. His music was important to him as was your life, but he wondered sometimes if you two would ever sync up. Somehow, the connection you shared never wavered or died while you put oceans and miles between you both, but he always worried. You had to admit that it would be nice to wake up next to Michael every single day, but you had the rest of your life for that.

“One day.” Nodding, you confidently assured him, the bun on your head sliding back and forth like an unsteady marble on a table top. “And we’ll have interesting stories about all the things we did when we are finally living together, old and wrinkly by the beach.” You laughed and lit him up as well.

“I’m not going to be wrinkly, speak for yourself.” He unwrapped his arms from you and stroked one hand across your chin playfully before he picked up your hands off of his sides and held them between you both. “Promise me one more thing?”

“Oh my God, Michael, I’m not going to meet cute Haitian and stay there for good.”

“No.” He just laughed loudly at the thought. It hadn’t even occurred to him. Michael didn’t feel very confident about much, but he knew that you were as loyal as they came. “Promise me you’re going to have the best time, okay? Have fun, take pictures, make friends…” He watched your eyes with determination, making sure you were hearing everything he said. “Have the best six months of your life.” He didn’t want to let you go. Michael wouldn’t have complained for a second if you decided to stay. He wouldn’t try to talk you out of it, but he knew that you had to begin your own explorations. You were too amazing to keep to himself, so he was going to let you take on the world as long as he could watch you reign from the sidelines.


“Are you nervous?” In the mirror, Calum checked while waiting behind a row of cars in morning rush hour traffic. He hadn’t been in it for a long time since he had been away on the tail end of the South American leg of a tour, he had forgotten how painfully inactive the roads could be.

“No.” Daphne answered without having to think. She was sitting with remarkable patience in the backseat of her father’s sleek black sports car, staring out the window with her owl eyes, her stuffed bear thoughtlessly held in one hand. It was her first time wearing a uniform, the tartan blue tunic making her look something like an Australian Madeline. She wasn’t fidgeting with it though despite how she complained about being itchy at the breakfast table.

“Are you sure?” Calum asked, reaching over to turn down the volume dial of the radio. Daphne was immune to loud noise as she had grown up watching her father perform his music to screaming crowds, but Calum always tried to be mindful of her small ears and underdeveloped canals. He was nervous whether or not Daphne was. The first day of Kindergarten was a milestone. He remembered how she was slow to walk and thought that, maybe, they were rushing school on her. She was only four after all. What was one more year? “Are you excited?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, looking away from the row of shops she had been mindlessly staring at and looked ahead of herself, the back of her father’s head always recognizable. “’Nelope is there.” Luke’s daughter, older by two years, attended the same primary school and she had filled Daphne in on how much fun recess was.

“Yep. She is.” That should have comforted Calum some. All three of his bandmates had children in school, they had got through the first day of school hump, so he would survive too. They hadn’t really sounded emotionally torn though. He remembered Michael explaining that Emmeline screamed while his wife carried her from the car to the school building. Emmeline Clifford was calling her father before noon, in tears and wanting to be picked up. He hadn’t had any time to realize his daughter was growing up. Molly Irwin was so advanced that Ashton had put her into school when she was three. She spent two years in kindie and could already add and subtract with ease before the first grade. Luke looked on the bright side and just felt excited and proud when Penelope started to go to school. He said he felt old, but still happy. Calum wanted to sob. He just wanted to sit in traffic and keep Daphne to himself. She could already tie her own shoes and now she was about to learn other skills that he would become meaningless to her. He would have no use. “You know if you don’t like it, you can call me or your Mum, right?”


“You remember our numbers?” Since she was small, Calum and his girlfriend had been drilling all the phone numbers of important people into their daughter’s heads. It was just in case of emergency since she so far hadn’t had to use any of them. As if on cue, Daphne recited his cell phone number by heart and paused before saying the house phone’s digits. “And what did I tell you to do if someone is being mean?” He had never had to deal with bullies growing up, but he knew the reality of them and since his daughter wasn’t necessarily as quick as some kids, he worried she would be a target. Daphne was a little too oblivious and passive for her own good, but he prayed that would change overtime.

“To tell a teacher.” At first, Calum had prepared Daphne with cruel lines to use one anyone who dared to try and hurt her feelings, but he came back after a little re-thinking and just advised her to get a teacher.

When he finally pulled up in front of the school, Calum gripped the wheel and breathed deeply as he watched other parents hold the hands of their children on the way to the wooden doors, some even let their kids merrily skip in front of them without any concern for on-coming traffic. He unhooked his seatbelt from across his body and turned to watch Daphne in the backseat, kicking up her legs and staring at the blur of her reflection in her tiny black Mary Jane’s.

“Are you all set?” He checked only to earn a nod in return. “You’re not nervous?”

“I’m not nervous.” Confidently, she told him before picking up her bear and hugging him to her chest. In the letter they had received in the post from the school, the headmistress suggested a new child bring something comforting if need be and while Daphne didn’t say she wanted Mrs. Bear with her, Calum had suggested she bring it. It went all over the world with her when she came on tour with him and he liked the idea of her having it there when he wasn’t around. It had been the gift he bought her from the hospital store just hours after she was born.

“Alright. Let’s go.” He pushed open the door his car and then opened up the backseat, staring off at Sydney’s number one primary school ahead while Daphne wiggled out, nearly stepping in a puddle. He reached in after her and took out her Tom and Jerry backpack with it’s matching lunch tin inside and carried it with two fingers under the top flap, reaching down for her hand with his other.

“Some people are big.” Daphne noted as she walked fast in an effort to keep up with her father and his gangly legs. They stopped before crossing the road that separated the parking lot from the school, her eyes up and watching the older kids run around her.

“Are you nervous?” Calum checked again, but she insisted that she still wasn’t.

He thanked the man coming through the door as they entered, presumably another father, and led Daphne to room 112 where they had been told to go on the letter. Daphne peered inside the door and stepped back at the first sight of all the excitement buzzing inside. The room was practically screaming like a girl at a 5 Seconds of Summer concert.

“Are you feeling nervous, Daph?” Calum bent down on one knee, his eyes searching into hers as they matched in size. She was still looking into her soon to be classroom, but she wasn’t showing any signs of real emotion.

“No. I’m okay.” She licked her lips and nodded. “Are you okay?” Finally, she looked back at him and checked. He didn’t look okay, but she wasn’t sure how to verbalize her thought.

“I’m okay.” He couldn’t exactly tell her that he felt like he swallowed a brick and was terrified to let go of her hand even if he was covering her tiny fingers in his sweat. “You know you can wait another year if you want…if you’re not ready.”

“I want to go.” Daphne nodded, a half smile turning her lips sideways on her face. “There is Legos.” On the open house, she had sat on the clock themed rug and played with only the yellow building blocks while her parents chatted with the teachers and looked around the school. For her, that was all that mattered. There were Legos and Penelope Hemmings was just down the hall. Not to mention this thing called recess had captured her interest greatly.

“Alright. If you think you’re ready,” Calum nodded, trying to prepare himself. “Let’s go.” He picked up her backpack off the floor next to her and helped the blue straps over her frail arms before standing up and leading her into the classroom. She waddled right over to a round table and helped herself to an pint sized empty chair, squishing her backpack right against it. “I’m Daffy.” She rested her head on the bare table top and eyeballed the dark haired boy with frizzy hair beside her.

“My name is Flynn.” He said to her like he was reading off of a cue card.

“Dad?” After a moment, Daphne spoke up and held her head up on her neck, nearly dropping it backwards as she stared at him while he was standing.

“Yeah, baby? You wanna go?” He checked, snapping out of his thoughts as he had been looking around the classroom and looking for different fire hazards.

“You’re holding my hand still.” She reminded him, shifting her gaze from him to her hand to him again.

“Oh, sorry.” He hadn’t noticed, but he relinquished her quickly and put his hand up in his hair for something to do. Calum bent down at her side and gave her a tiny wet kiss on the forehead, lifting up her blunt bangs to do so. “You have fun today, okay?” Right as Daphne was nodding, another little girl rushed over to Calum, poking him sharply in the side.

“You’re from that band!” She shouted. “I know you.” She shrieked.

“That’s my Dad.” Daphne replied for him, reaching for his wrist with both her little hands that couldn’t fit around it.

“That’s cool.” The redhead girl giggled and gave her attention over to Daphne. “I’m Hannah. You should play house with us.”

Without a second thought, Daphne dropped her Dad’s wrists and slid out of her chair, following the girl who had just given her one of the greatest invites you could give a toddler. Calum sat on his bent knees for a moment, watching his daughter try to make friends in the far corner of the room. He could have sat there all day, but then Flynn sneezed right in his face, spraying him. Calum took it as a sign that he was too old to be there and stood up, brushing his knees, and left the room, looking forward to 4 PM when his daughter could come home and report to him the details of her first day.


He was trying to be cool. He watched against the kitchen sink, staring out the window with droopy hound dog eyes, as bags were being loaded into the bed of the used Ford parked outside his house. Ashton didn’t want to go out just yet and be a buzz kill. He felt very far away from ready to say goodbye, but he knew that she was going to be on her way in a matter of minutes. He had been warned be his own parents that this day would come, the day Molly grew up and was ready to be on her own. Life had tried to prepare Ashton for when his daughter was grown up. There had been the first time she told him that she didn’t need him to tuck her into bed followed a week later by her whining that she didn’t want him to cut her meat on the dinner plate for her. Ashton nearly had to excuse himself from the backstage makeshift dinner table to sob at the latter, but he held himself together and let Molly hold the fork and knife all on her own. He could still hear the dull metal scratching against the ceramic dish. The evenings where she insisted that she didn’t need to wear a jacket or when she waited for her one friend with a car to come pick her up in place of asking him for a ride to the cinema should have made this day easier, but it didn’t. He felt a bigger pain in his chest than he ever had at any point in Molly’s nineteen years of life. He remembered the time he left the stage in the middle of a set, dehydrated from a week of nonstop movement, and then Calum accidentally whacked him in the groin. Even that pain didn’t compare to the aching inside of his body right now.

Molly’s tight ponytail whipped around behind her head like the propellers of an airplane as she lifted another duct taped box from the ground and struggled to push it into the nearly full trunk. He knew he should have been out there helping, but his mind was in a different state. He was remembering how she would giggle at the top of her lungs, ponytail bouncing like her knees, as he chased her freely around their yard until she would stop abruptly and ask for a nap. He smiled at the memory and then exhaled in preparation. He couldn’t put it off. He had to face the day.

Ashton pushed his weight off of the sink and jogged out of the kitchen, closing his eyes in order to avoid seeing the pencil marks on the door frame that recorded his little girl’s growth over the years. He let the front door close behind him and rushed over to his bustling family, all gathered around the Ford.

“There you are.” Luke, Molly’s self-appointed Godfather, frowned at his friend as he finally made an appearance, backing away from the open door of the truck. He only just fit in a laundry hamper of her bedroom décor and knick knacks after what felt like an hour of struggling and cursing under his breath.

Ashton took a heavy box marked “BOOKS” from his wife’s hands and carried it the last few steps to the trunk, lifting up the tailgate after and slamming it shut.

“I was just making sure she had everything.” He lied, smacking Luke on the back playfully. “You got everything?” He checked, walking right up to Molly as she was squeezing her brother into a tight hug, the kind they had not shared in years.

“Yeah. I’m ready.” She ruffled her brother’s hair and nodded at her father, her smile so large that it practically stretched her entire face.

Before she could move even a step, looking to say ‘goodbye’ to her mother next, Ashton had her gathered up in his arms and holding her to his chest. He was squeezing her while actually considering that if he used enough pressure she may stick and have to stay.

“I love you so much.” His words all together as if they were one, he mumbled right above her head, rubbing his nose and lips into it. To say, he was going to Miss Molly was an understatement. He let her go hesitantly, her shoulders shimming to escape his grasp.  He would have held her there forever until it grew too dark to drive to Gold Coast, but she had more goodbyes to say.

“You okay, man?” Luke chuckled, but he reached over and squeezed Ashton’s shoulder for support. He had small children of his own back home and watching Ashton send his eldest off to college only made him nervous for what the future would bring to him.

“Yeah, it’s cool.” Swallowing around his desire to stop this whole thing from happening, Ashton nodded and slid his hands into his pockets. He remembered when the idea of becoming a father sent him into a tailspin. He had nearly walked the length of King St W in Toronto when his wife told him she was expecting and now, nineteen years later, he was absolutely crushed that Molly was all grown up and spreading her wings. “You know, I’m proud of her…” He shrugged and looked over at Luke, concentrating on his brother of a band mate as he was less likely to cry when thinking about Luke. Ashton tried to think of the positive side of this. Molly was going to University. She was going to get an education and follow her own path. She always had a sense of herself and Ashton was happy that she was forging ahead with her dreams. He wasn’t even nervous about things beyond his control happening. He believed so much in Molly as she was more intelligent and headstrong than he could have even imagined being at her age.  

The sound of car keys pulled Ashton’s attention back to Molly as she drew closer and wrapped her coltish arms around her Uncle Luke’s neck, smiling thinly as she hugged him. He could remember carrying her around open stadiums when she was light as a feather, singing Good Golly Miss Molly at sound checks in order to make her dance like a tiny bobble head doll. Now, she was a grown up. All limbs and big ideas.

“Thanks for all your help today.” She sincerely said before pulling away from him, shifting her eyes to catch her father looking fondly over her. It made her nervous how his eyes made it plain that he was going to lose his self-control at any moment.

“No problem. Drive safe.” Luke advised, giving her a last nod before she started for her open truck, swinging her keys in a circle around her fourth finger.

Molly was singing goodbye as she climbed in behind the wheel of her truck, practically dancing as she put the keys in the ignition. Before she could close the door, her father appeared right beside her, holding the roof with both hands, his armpits exposed to her as well as his lifeless smile.

“You remember how to drive stick?” He had gone over it with her twice over the week, but the truck was new to her and all Ashton could do was worry.

“Dad, I’m ready.” She insisted, sounding slightly annoyed by his smothering love. Molly reached over and pat the gear beside her as if to prove her point.

“I put money in the glove box, if you need it.” She had told him that she was fine for gas money, but Ashton took it upon himself to make sure she had back off. She had never had to drive this long before. He didn’t trust that her friend she was picking up would be smart enough to plan ahead either. He shook his head as her jaw opened in order to tell him to take it back and she didn’t need it. “Just let me be a Dad, okay?” He rhetorically asked, so Molly closed her mouth in compliance.  “You know you can come home at any time, right? Or you can call and we’re there, it’s just an hour flight.” He wished she was flying, but his wife was all about her having the experience of a road trip, of going to college with her friend and getting there. Apparently getting there was half of the fun, but Ashton wasn’t concerned about fun right now. His priority was her safety.

“I know, Dad.”

“Call me when you get there, okay?” He let go of the roof finally and rested his arms at his side, trying not to reach out and wrap her up in a hug again.

“I will.”

He exhaled loudly, the word ‘goodbye’ waiting to be said, ready at the back of his throat, but he shut his eyes and couldn’t manage to let the word out.

“I’m really proud of you, you know?” She was about to start school at Bond University, studying Biomedical Sciences with an interest in veterinary health. Molly had always loved animals and hated her brother’s allergies that kept them from getting another pet after their family dog passed away when she was six. She credited her Uncle Michael taking her to duck parks as a little girl to half of her intense passion for animals and providing for them. She had aspirations to tag elephants in Sri Lanka, save Whales in Hawaii, and study and protect pandas in China.

“Thanks, Dad.” Rubbing her lips together, she tried to capture the moment on the filmstrip in her mind. Ashton had always been an affectionate father, unafraid to tell Molly how he felt at any time, but she knew this was important and needed to be cherished. “I’ll call you all the time. I promise.” They had been close, closer than a lot of teenage daughters and their parents, even the ones who weren’t rock stars, so she knew this was difficult for him, but she had to go. She was more than ready and so excited to take on the world. “I love you.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek, sending his memory reeling to when she was just two and would jump into his hotel bed at the first spot of sunlight to wake him up with kisses and sweet ‘I love yous’. Ashton had never appreciated sunrise and mornings until having a daughter, waking up to her giggles and astonishment over every new day. Water was rushing to his eyes, so after running his hand through the tangles of her ponytail, he let go of Molly’s head and backed away, his hands heading into the pocket of his trousers.

“Drive safely. Use your signals!” He called while backing away, wiping his eyes somewhat discreetly on his t-shirt sleeves. Molly slammed the door and buckled herself up, starting to pull out with one hand on the wheel while she waved goodbye to her family with the other hand out the window. “Both hands! Put both hands on the wheel!” Ashton shouted, standing between Luke and his wife with his son right in front of him. Molly was perfect, but Ashton couldn’t deny that his daughter was one of the worst drivers in all of Sydney.


He chased his dreams. It might have all started in his bedroom with an acoustic guitar, but Luke made life explode. He was surrounded by four walls, but he played guitar until they all became doors. No one should have understood your need to explore like he did, but for some reason, he was having a really hard time watching you prepare for your own adventure. No one, not even Luke, could understand his hesitance to let you go. Due to his hectic touring schedule and working on their debut album, you two had hardly had any time to hang out, but he was home now and all he wanted was for things to stay the same. Wherever he went and no matter how long, he wanted his home to freeze and be just how he left it when he returned through the door, more luggage in hand than he originally left with.

“Mum said you need another suitcase.” Standing at the door, Luke mumbled, his recently emptied bag knocking against your bedroom wall.

Pushing your hair from your face, you looked over at your brother brightly, your eyes ready to become fireworks as you packed as much clothes as you could into one bag. You had gone on a major overhaul of a shopping trip with your mother just a few days ago, loading up on new clothes and black dress pants, but you managed to find sentimental t-shirts and ratty clothes in your drawers that you didn’t want to leave behind.

“Yeah, one just for shoes.” You joked and nodded your head back as a sign that he was invited to come into your room. When you hit puberty, years ago, you had been bombastic about your brothers not being allowed in or near any of your personal belongings, but it didn’t matter so much anymore now. You were far less easy to embarrass than you were years prior.

“How many shoes are you taking? You’re only going to be gone a year, right?” Scrunching his brows together into one fuzzy line, Luke asked. He lugged the suitcase over and placed it down right by your bare feet.

“I’m only taking like five, I was kidding.” Lightly, you laughed. “And I’m going to be gone as long as I need to be.” Sure, your course over in Paris was only a year, but you were hoping opportunities would arise as you were out there at one of the world’s most prestigious culinary school. If a window opened, you were prepared to jump out and free fall. If someone offered an open door, you would waltz right through with your bravest face on.

“Well, how long do you think you need?” Luke crossed his arms tightly, hugging himself out of a new desire for comfort, and sat at the edge of your bed right by the open bag. He was purposefully keeping his back to it in order to keep from seeing any of your unmentionables. You had ruined the idea of a woman in lingerie for him as the first time he ever saw the inside of a Victoria’s Secret shop was when he followed you into one.

“I don’t know!” You shook your face, eyes wide, into his and chuckled. “Why do you sound so upset about this?” Everyone else was excited for you. You finally felt like you had an idea of the direction you wanted to take your life. Most importantly, you seemed really happy.

“Because…” He grumbled and wrinkled up his forehead, looking down at his knees and then yours. “I just got home and now you’re going away. When are we ever going to see each other now?”

Luke’s life was unpredictable. He was waking up in Los Angeles and going to sleep in Milan. You were a rock. He could call on you whenever he needed to, you were constant and reliable and had been since you were both children rolling around and pretending to be farm animals in the backyard. He wanted you to reach all your goals as he had his, but he wasn’t ready for change. He loved coming home and seeing his family, you being a very huge part of that. Now, he would see you even less than before (or so he assumed).

“Luke, this isn’t new. I’ve been getting ready to go for months.” He had nearly broken out into a chair dance when you showed him your letter of acceptance over a video chat. Where was that proud brother now?

“Yeah, well…we’re touring Australia finally and I thought you’d be coming around with us.” He was too bummed out to pick up on how selfish he sounded. “Who’s going to be our cheeky merch girl now?” Completely serious, he asked you, blue eyes shooting at you like the sharp ends of bar darts.

“Oh, you’re right. I should really hold off on culinary school to pursue the avenue of a merchandise girl for my brother’s band.” Sighing, you pushed away your bag as if you were stopping packing all together and sat down beside him, hands between your bare knees as your denim shorts rode up. “You know you can still call me whenever you want. Paris is closer to London, so we can see each other when you have time off or I have a weekend…” It was easy to say at the moment since you hadn’t any insight to how busy your own schedule was about to be, but no school or career would ever become more important than your relationship with family. Luke had spent months in Los Angeles and you made time to come down and visit him multiple times despite working part-time in a food truck and having finalized a lot of summer plans before he went to America. He would always be a priority. “Stop pouting.” Hard, you poked your elbow into his side causing him to wince and massage at it. “I didn’t do this to you at the airport the first time you left. Be happy for me.” You urged him, but his face hardly lit up. He still looked like a puppy wandering the roads without a place to call home.

“I am happy for you.” He really was. “It just sucks for me.”

It hit Luke as he watched the excitement leave your face the more he spoke that he shouldn’t have been being so honest. This was your life and he wasn’t given the right to tell you how to go about living it especially when you hadn’t even warned him about internet creeps when he began posting his acoustic covers online. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut, but he had never had to hide or be shy around his sister. You had always taken him exactly as he was.

“You know what, I said the same thing to Mom when you left.” You patted his knee with one hand, just a squeeze, and then laid your head down on his shoulder. “But I survived and you are, too. There’s room for two superstars in this family, you know?” You gave him your million dollar smile, the one he knew was your best only because the guys always talked about how you had the prettiest grin and it drove him nuts.

“So, you’re not going be too busy for four am phone calls?” Luke checked with the first glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“I won’t.” Lifting up your head, you jumped up and started to get back to folding clothes. “But they’ll be still annoying.” Partially kidding, you reached over and messed with his hair, his hands instantly reaching up to fix it.

“I hate when you do that.” Right back into his normal brother mode, he whined and reached over to give your nearest elbow a flick. “I take it all back. I want you to go.” He sat up, laughing. You both knew what he was really saying was ‘please, don’t.’

anonymous asked:

Can I ask you something? Do you take the news about Niall dropping his album in late spring and Liam's album too (although I don't know when that's going to be released) but I guess a little before or later as confirmation/meaning that Harry and Louis' coming out is not going to happen next year either? Because you said they wouldn't have to compete with each other's things, but next year is full of things already so...

You’re giving me an excuse to address a few things, anon, so of course I don’t mind the question. This is long  

We saw a drastic and clearly unexpected change in March. That was a paradigm shift for the band, but the only effect we saw at the time was the prolongation of babygate. I think we are now seeing what else changed as a direct result of Simon’s successful meddling.

I think last fall the boys were hoping Sony would step in and force peace accords with Simon, so they could sign with another Sony label and Simon would be kept on a leash. But I think Simon said no and Sony saw Simon as greater long-term investment. There is risk in what the guys are trying to do, rebrand as a band and individuals, and Simon’s method of finding a shiny trinket and running it to the ground for a few years before moving on to the next makes bank. So Simon said no and Sony picked Simon.

This would have left the guys in a difficult position. If they had been able to stay with Sony and not been publicly trashed by Simon, they could have carried on with their original plans for a rebrand generally intact: a few months genuinely off, a film for Harry, collaborations and some solo work for Liam and Niall, and serious businessman Louis doing A&R (and hopefully some writing), and then a new album within a reasonably short timeframe. But without Sony backing them, they’ve been facing a smear campaign and some of the worst stunts they’ve ever suffered. And when Simon pulled whatever technicality out to make them abandon their March plans, they probably had to rethink their strategy altogether.

They have a lot more to overcome now, both individually and as a band. The stigma of the breakup is out there now, and they have to treat that carefully, like a contagion, or it could poison whatever else they try and accomplish. I always thought they would work on the rebrand of the band first because rebranding each of them individually puts a lot of pressure on them all to make those projects incredibly successful, so that returning as a band doesn’t look halfhearted or a last resort to save their careers. But given the last year and the damage Simon has inflicted on their public personae, it may be that in March their new strategy was to focus on them all individually first and then regroup.

I think they were all sincere in the fall when they said they planned for the band to be releasing new stuff in two years. But that was before Simon carried on with his destruction. The guys, quite simply, aren’t getting what they initially wanted. And that hurts, that’s unfair, that feels too much like the many other dreams they’ve had to put away in drawers.

Harry’s interview in Another Man happened this summer, when they would have still been planning out the future. This week Niall has quite clearly stated that they are all getting back together, and within the relatively near term. The switch in language from him, so much more concrete in the second half of the day, does give me hope that the strings Simon was pulling are falling away – but we must wait and see how things proceed from here if they are really able to take control now. There are a lot of loose ends causing me to view everything right now cautiously.

Niall said he’s planning on the album in late spring, taking the slot a lot of us were mentally cataloging for Liam. That makes me wonder what it is we should expect from Liam and when: a series of collaborations? An EP? An album? When? We don’t know. Dunkirk comes out late summer, and that adds complexity to the balance and coordination for all four of them. Niall said he plans on touring his album, which will preoccupy him at least into the beginning of 2018. That’s enough time for all of them to get into all sorts of mischief.

I have said that I didn’t expect an album from Harry, and that part of that is a matter of time commitments. That opinion was formed early into my entry to the fandom, when all this ruckus was just starting. At the time, they were not under the impression that Simon would be causing this mess and they would be keeping to a tighter schedule as a band. But if they’re all doing individual work into 2018 as Niall’s tour plans suggest, Harry would have the time for some solo material, if he wants to explore that. I doubt he wants the career path Simon picked for him – I stand by my statement that if Harry does release anything, it won’t be like the traditional solo path many fans seem to assume, if for no other reason than Liam and Niall seem to be going down that route and I doubt Harry wants it to look or feel like a competition. Another Man is showing us an experimental Harry, who lots of us always knew was there: I don’t think this new public image is going to be diverted into the typical pop business model that talk of solo Harry has entailed.

Niall’s comment remains focused on the guys working as a band in the short term – a year or two. I think once his touring and whatever Liam has cooked up (which I do expect to follow a somewhat similar and traditional path like Niall’s) have finished, it’ll be 2018 and the guys will then be ready to reconvene as a band.

[I would like to assert here that 2018 is not that far away, in case anyone wants to reply that that isn’t near term. It very much is.]

What does this mean in terms of Harry and Louis? I’d love for babygate to end this fall, and we’ll see where the power and control lies as we get into October. If things start ending, I stand by the statement that they could come out over the holiday season lead-in. My deepest personal desire is to see Simon burn, so I’d love an exposé, but that may have to happen in stages, in which case they may be waiting for a sweet spot in the early summer, after Niall’s album and before Dunkirk promo starts in earnest. (And in which case, potentially Liam’s album drops Q4 – but again, all is quiet on that front so I’m not assuming anything based on Liam speculation.) I do think Another Man (as well as Dunkirk) makes it clear that Harry’s plans, no matter what they are, won’t be in any way reliant on a heteronormative and heterosexual image and therefore will not be a barrier to them coming out.

Louis, like Liam, remains in the shadows right now, so I am not including his plans in my thinkpiece. What his career goals are in the next two years I don’t know – songwriting? A&R? The Voice? (I personally would love to jam out to next year’s song of the summer written by Louis.) We’ll have to wait, because I don’t think we’ll be getting much indication until Simon can no longer directly interfere and babygate ends, because everything it touches turns toxic (not to be too dramatic). But I am sure he has plans and that he will use the time until the band can work together productively and rewardingly.

So, as to coming out, it depends on when and how they can end babygate, as always. The guys’ schedules will continue to coordinate (yet another sign that the band is indeed staying together), and the coming out will be factored into that. But as ever, we shall have to wait an see. Patiently we abide.

hey sense8 fandom, here are some free capheus fic ideas besides “shows up in other people’s stories to be generically ~wise~, issue-free, and conveniently asexual”

(because a lot of this is the show’s fault but not all of it and you know what, YOU CAN DO BETTER. that is a choice that you have.)

Keep reading

MY THEORIES ON LASHTON (and ashton/bryana)

Okay so I was requested by cuteirwins1975 to do a post about my theories on all the shit that’s been goin on with 5sos and why they’ve been shady as hell lately.  Just a disclaimer I am lashton af, so ofc these theories will include lashton so if you don’t like, don’t hate. Or do, I don’t fucking care tbh. 

So as you know Ashton is ‘dating’ bryana holly and he left australia earlier to hang out with her and now he’s brought her to london with him. And since then luke, calum and michael have been hanging out a lot alone just the three of them. Also apparently only calum and ashton follow bryana on social media/ even acknowledge her.

So I have two theories on this, the first one is that ashton and bryana really are together and the second is that she’s a beard. 

Let’s start with the first one, being ashton and bryana really are together. So if that’s the case, I believe that luke is in love with ashton and that’s why the rest of the band doesn’t hang out with bryana. There are many reasons why I believe this but I won’t go into it now bc this post is long enough. And from this comes a few more theories. 

I definitely think ashton loves luke back and there are also many reasons why I believe this that would again make this post too long. First off I don’t think luke is straight, and again there are reasons I believe this that would make this too long. I’ve said this three times in a row now and you guys probably hate me, but I can make separate posts about these if you’d like. 

Okay so I think either lashton have been together at some point but they broke up and ashton is with bryana to try and make luke jealous. Or I think that ashton hasn’t admitted his feelings for luke to himself yet. This could be for many reasons, maybe because ashton is insecure, maybe because luke is the only guy ashton has ever liked and he’s confused by these feelings and luke means too much to him and he wants to be 100% sure of his feelings before he does anything. And his relationships with women, bryana, bianca, etc. are his way of trying sort out his feelings. Although I don’t know for sure because I’m not ashton, obvi. 

Luke just seems more sure of his feelings to me than ashton does so that’s why i don’t really have any doubts with luke. Plus whenever luke is away from ashton he goes out and parties with calum and he looks so upset when he does. And lots of people party often when they’re heartbroken. Not to mention luke just doesn’t seem like his normal happy self anymore. Like he still smiles for fanpics and major props to him for that, but if you look in his eyes most of the time he looks so sad and it worries me so much bc i love luke so much, and ofc course i love the others but luke is my fav and i worry about him like he’s my son.  

But anyways that’s not what this post is about and I should move onto my second theory, which is that bryana is a beard and lashton are really together. Which I kind of like more than the other one, bc it means lashton are together. But kind of also don’t like because well, i saw what happened with 1d and larry and how much the bearding affected the band and i don’t want lashton and 5sos heading down that road. 

So there are many reasons why I believe bryana could a beard the most obvious one being the fact 5sos is with modest who have made their clients beard before (and also mistreated them but i won’t get into that in this post). 

Also there was a ton of lashton near the end of 2014, they hung out just the two of them countless times, they even ditched their families on christmas eve to hang out together. And during that time we were all so sure of lashton and the ship was definitely growing and getting more attention. There are even articles that mention lashton and lashton shippers. And then all of a sudden it stops and ashton is ‘dating’ bryana. Idk about you but that seems hella beardy to me. 

And there are reasons why the bearding would benefit both ashton and bryana, ashton bc duh their tour is soon and they have an album coming out this year this definitely gives him publicity and makes it look like he’s not dating luke. And bryana because she’s a model and this is definitely helping her get more recognition. And I also think ashton’s other ‘realtionships’ could be pr too. Like I definitely think gemma was because a, she’s harry’s sister and was an easy option and she probably didn’t mind helping lashton hide as she sees what larry goes through. Plus I think 5sos were/ are trying to be recognized as their own band and break free from their label as ‘1d’s opening act’, and ashton dating harry’s sister would give the media a reason to believe in a ‘feud’ between the bands and help 5sos get recognized as their own band. Same goes for kendall, and also because it could’ve promoted her modelling/ clothing line. And also bianca, I’m pretty sure her and her sister are on some radio show or something so that would’ve given her publicity and 5sos were just starting to get recognized then, so there’s publicity for them as well. 

Now back to ashton and bryana, there are a lot of similarities they share with elounor. Sure they’re not as overly publicized as elounor but maybe modest learned from their mistakes or it’s just bc 5sos doesn’t get as much media attention as 1d. This is still getting media attention though and there are still articles.  Both elounor and ashton and bryana went to disney, they both went to music festivals, apparently lauren follows bryana on ig and the tomlinson sisters were all obsessed with eleanor. 

Another thing that makes this seem beardy is that time ashton was seen getting out of a car which apparently bryana was driving, RIGHT IN FRONT OF FANS. I mean if they were trying to hide this why would she drop ashton off in front of fans and why would they go on such public dates? Not to mention the fact they post pictures that make it look like they’re together and then one of them deletes them seems pretty fishy to me. 

And the person that usually deletes them is bryana which could be because it doesn’t really fit the ‘theme’ of her ig which is pictures of herself and she’s also a playboy model and has horny guys following her so she needs to keep up the image that she’s ‘available’.

And people are saying ashton is more into the relationship and i can definitely see that. And I think it’s because he has a legitimate relationship with luke that he’s trying to hide and he needs the publicity because if he doesn’t follow through with it modest will threaten his relationship with luke and try and force them to break up or something or threaten the band as a whole. Modest is scary, former clients have proven that. Bryana is just in this for the paycheck and a little publicity, she doesn’t really have anything that important to her that’s linked to this so that’s why I don’t really think she’s as into it.

So yeah there are my theories of this situation basically, of course you can ask more if you have any questions on these theories. And to answer one question which is why luke hasn’t had any beards, I honestly think that a, he refuses to and b, he’s the most popular one of the band and he needs to be seen as single so fans can continue to think they have a chance with him. 

But I think that’s enough for this post because this is actually longer than a fucking 1000 word essay. also ignore the lack of caps, this is tumblr. 


Because Abby Queen can now have grown up listening to Hamilton, and I spent way too much time thinking about this last night, when I should have gone to bed.

First of all, TWENTY FIFTH ANNIVERSARY REVIVAL. It’s the summer of 2040 and Abby is thirteen, and Hamilton is getting revived and her father hasn’t even seen it.

“Dad, Hamilton came out in 2015, you really have no excuse for not knowing about it.”

“No, I’ve heard of it.  It’s that rap-musical about Alexander Hamilton.”

And Abby is personally offended, because it’s so much more than that, so she recruits Mom and they convince Dad to sit down one night and watch the show with them.  (Because this is the future, and in the future you can buy filmed versions of musicals with the original cast, and of course the Queens have Hamilton on file.)  And by the end of it, Dad is doing the thing he does when he gets sad.  He’s really quiet, and he pulls Abby into his side and nods, kisses her forehead, and they both pretend his eyes aren’t watering.  Mom sings “Helpless” around the house for the next couple of days, and she and Dad get kind of gross and cute about it, so it’s actually a little bit of a relief when that peters out.

Jonny is surprisingly easy to convince, when it’s all said and done.  She just needs to play the OCR around the house until the songs get stuck in his head, and then challenges him that she’s got more of the Cabinet Rap Battles memorized than he does.  It’s barely two days after that before he starts dropping in on her with Jefferson’s lines, and really, she just has to refute him.

She brings it up at dinner one night.  “So Hamilton is being revived for the 25th Anniversary this fall.”

The show will be touring in a year, and they can get tickets when it finally comes to Starling like they do with all the other shows Abby wants to see, but.  It’s Hamilton.

Mom grins.  “I’m game.  Oliver?”

But Dad was nodding along before Mom even finished the question.  “Let’s make it happen.”

“Hold on, you guys are just going to fly to New York without me?” Jonny looks more than a little indignant.

“You want to come with, Jon?” Mom asks.

“Why wouldn’t I want to go to New York? Besides, I can drop by Gotham while we’re there, if we have the time, and anyway–I want to see the damn show, okay?”

It’s kind of hard for Abby to stop grinning for the next day and a half.

They get tickets for opening night, and they make a week of it.  Jonny does spend a few days in Gotham visiting Terry, and Abby and Mom spend a lot of time shopping, and they do all the corny touristy things with Dad that he secretly loves, the Statue of Liberty, Central Park, MoMA, even a tour of Carnegie Hall.

On the night of the show, Abby is over the moon, and she doesn’t think there’s anything that can bring her down.  Jonny wears a tie without complaining for once, and they head out into the cold for the Ham4Ham preshow.  The crowd is already thick when they get there, so Jonny grabs Abby’s hand and wiggles his way through to the front.

The man who’s playing Alexander Hamilton greets everyone–(”Ladies and gentleman, you could have been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in New York City.”)–and thanks them for being here, and then he says, “I’ve got a surprise for you guys tonight,” and taps on the stage door, and Lin-Manuel Miranda walks out.

The world goes a little blurry, and Abby blinks her tears away furiously while Jonny squeezes her hands so tight it hurts.

Miranda thanks everyone again, and goes on to talk about how grateful he is for everyone who helped make the show what it is today, from the cast and the crew of every show to the audience and everyone who bought the album, and how he never could have imagined, in 2015, that they’d get to where they are today.  And then he says, “And I’m very happy to report that, thanks to an anonymous donor, everyone attending today’s Ham4Ham will be receiving a ticket to the show tonight.”

The crowd erupts in applause, but Abby just shares a look with her brother.  They glance behind them, and Mom and Dad are standing together at the back of the crowd, smiling innocently.

The show is amazing, but Abby expected nothing less.  The cast goes above and beyond, and it’s one of the best performances she’s ever seen.  After the final curtain call, everybody’s a little misty-eyed, and Jonny’s all huffy and swiping at his eyes.

It goes down as one of their better family vacations.

Three years later, after their mom gets kidnapped and Jonny takes up the hood, and Uncle Roy, and Tish, Abby doesn’t have all that much to get excited about, anymore.

But she can’t help thinking about Phillip Hamilton, who was far too much like his father, who was so proud that it killed him.  She wonders when Jonny’s finally going to underestimate his enemies, practically waiting for the day that he isn’t fast enough, or strong enough, or smart enough, when it’s all going to catch up with him.

She thinks about Uncle Roy.

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story.

But that’s not even the worst part, is it?  No, the Hamilton men died, but at least they were remembered, at least they were heroes.  Aaron Burr was forgotten.  Aaron Burr, who couldn’t decide what he wanted until it was too late, who was waiting in the wings to slip into any character he needed to become, who wanted to badly to be part of the action that he threw it all away when he couldn’t handle living in Hamilton’s shadow.

He survived, but he paid for it.

She survived, and she pays for it.

Or worse, she’s not Burr, she’s Peggy.  Not as smart as Angelica, or as kind as Eliza, relegated to the background until she just disappears entirely, only to be replaced by a seductress who fits all too well into their household.

(Here’s what Abby doesn’t get yet: she thinks she’s at the end of the story, that the roles have been cast, that her future’s already set in stone.  But she’s wrong, she’s just at the beginning.  She’s Hamilton getting on a boat to America, she’s the Schuyler sisters walking down the streets of New York City, she’s a fledgling nation on the brink of collapse, tumultuous and divided, waiting until it finds its footing before it stands up and marches forward.)