i have a lot of angel family feelings

Dean’s cards

Dean has used the “family” card with Cas many times. Sometimes he’s used it when talking to Cas himself, and sometimes Cas hasn’t been present when Dean’s said it. In season 11, Cas was told by the angel Ambriel and Amara that he was expendable; he even let Lucifer possess him because he felt that way. If he got himself killed, “no big loss” as Ambriel put it. We know Dean didn’t feel that way about Cas because we saw him; we saw his desperation to get Cas back since he found out Cas was possessed. However, Cas never saw any of that. That’s why when season 12 started Cas still wasn’t sure whether he belonged or not.  

This is what he told Mary in 12x03:

MARY: Castiel? After you left heaven, when did it start to feel like… like you fit, like you… belonged here?

CASTIEL: Well, I’m still not sure I do.

It was really painful to think that after so much Cas has been through with the Winchester, he wasn’t sure of his place in the family. The good thing was that season 12 was meant to correct that. It was a season for Cas to understand once and for all that he’s not an expendable tool to the Winchesters, especially not to Dean. 

However, to explain how and when exactly Cas realized that he did belong, let me show you all the cards Dean has used with Cas and how meaningless or meaningful they have been to help Cas feel welcomed and loved or not.

The first time Dean told Cas something that had to do with family was in season 6. The problem was that it seemed to be a privilege given under certain terms. If Cas didn’t do what Dean wanted him to, then he wasn’t family at all. To be put in the category of “family” he had to conform. There was no unconditional love for Cas at the time and Cas felt it. This was the interaction between Dean and Cas in 6x20:

DEAN: Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family – that you are like a brother to me. So, if I’m asking you not to do something… You got to trust me, man.

CASTIEL: Or what?

DEAN: Or I’ll have to do what I have to do to stop you.

Cas understood the condition behind the so-called family label. “If you don’t do as I say, I’ll have to kill you if it’s necessary to stop you.”

That first use of “family” didn’t work at all. In fact, it totally backfired two episodes later when Dean used the “family” card for the second time. This happened in 6x22:

DEAN: Listen to me. Listen, I know there’s a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I’d have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you… Please. I’ve lost Lisa, I’ve lost Ben, and now I’ve lost Sam. Don’t make me lose you too. You don’t need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all.

CASTIEL: You’re just saying that because I won. Because you’re afraid. You’re not my family, Dean. I have no family.

Of course Cas felt he had no family. Dean said “we were famiy” as in “we’re not anymore because you stepped out of the condition I’d given you”. A person is supposed to be loved without “ifs”, and at that point, Cas knew Dean’s offer of “family” didn’t come free of conditions. Besides, let’s notice that Cas wasn’t using the plural “you” when he said “You’re not my family”. He was using the singular “you” since he addressed Dean directly by name.

After everything that happened in season 6, it took a lot for Dean and Cas to reconstruct their relationship. Dean didn’t try the “family” card again in a very long time. However, when his feelings were too overwhelming, he made use of two different cards: “home” and “I need you”. He used both cards for the first time in Purgatory, in 8x02:

DEAN: Cas, we’re getting out of here. We’re going home.

CASTIEL: Dean, I can’t.

DEAN: You can. Benny, tell him.

BENNY: Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it’s angel-friendly.

DEAN: We’ll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you.

CASTIEL: Dean…

DEAN: And if Leviathan want to take a shot at us, let ‘em. We ganked those bitches once before. We can do it again.

CASTIEL: It’s too dangerous.

DEAN: Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you. Understand?

CASTIEL: I understand.

This was the first time Dean Winchester decided to show Cas unconditional love. Dean wasn’t getting anything in return for trying to save Cas. On the contrary, they didn’t know if their escape hatch was angel-friendly, as Benny said it. Taking Cas with him was dangerous for Dean, but he didn’t care; he just knew that he would not leave Purgatory without his angel. He didn’t use the “family” card, but the cards he chose along with his actions were a lot more meaningful.

The third time Dean used the “family” card was in the crypt scene in 8x17. Cas was being mind-controlled and Dean was trying to break through before Cas could actually kill him. We all remember the words:

DEAN: Cas. Cas. I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me. Cas… It’s me. We’re family. We need you. I need you.

If you notice, Dean used the “I need you” card for the second time, too. It wasn’t the first time Dean had said those words to Cas. The first was in Purgatory and Cas knew Dean wasn’t getting anything in return back then. Dean honestly meant how much he needed Cas, just as in the crypt scene Dean wasn’t just begging for his life, he was actually confessing he needed Cas. He used the “family” card after almost two seasons because this time there wasn’t any condition attached to the label. Maybe that’s why this time it worked. Cas listened, and Naomi’s control was broken.

The third time Dean used the “I need you” card Cas didn’t hear him. It was in 9x01 when Dean was praying to him without knowing that Cas was human.

DEAN: Cas, are you there? Sammy’s hurt. He’s hurt, uh – he’s hurt pretty bad. And, um… I know you think that I’m pissed at you, okay? But I don’t care that the angels fell. So whatever you did or didn’t do, it doesn’t matter, okay? We’ll work it out. Please, man, I need you here.

That was the first time he used a new card as well, the “we’ll work it out” one. This time Dean didn’t want his words to sound like his feelings were attached to a condition. He wanted Cas to understand that the fact he might have messed up regarding the angels fall didn’t really matter to Dean; Cas still meant a lot to him… Dean still needed him and he knew they would find a way to fix things as they always did. It’s a shame Cas didn’t hear him!

The fourth time Dean included Cas as his family, Cas wasn’t there to hear either. Dean was talking to Kevin in 9x02:

DEAN: Because you’re family. After all the crap we’ve been through, after all the good that you’ve done… man, if you don’t think that we would die for you… I don’t know what to tell you. Because you, me, Sam and Cas, we are all we’ve got. But hey, if none of that matters to you, then I won’t stop you.

Cas wasn’t even present, but of course Dean mentioned him as part of the family. How could he not?

More than two years passed before Dean called Cas ‘family’ again. And Cas wasn’t even there to listen. He was possessed by Lucifer, and Dean was desperate to save his angel. This is what happened in 11x18:

DEAN: We’re not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside Cas. What if he doesn’t make it?

SAM: Dean, it’s a strong vessel. It’s held Cas for years, and we know what he’s been through. I’m guessing it can hold Lucifer.

DEAN: “It”? It’s not an “it,” Sam. It’s Cas.

SAM: And Cas wanted to do this.

DEAN: Yeah, well, there’s times I want to get slapped during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask. That don’t make it a good idea.

SAM: Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves. W-We make the… the heart choice instead of the smart choice.

DEAN: Oh, okay. Thank you, Dr. Phil. Cas is family.

SAM: Yes, and his choice deserves to be respected.

DEAN: Even if it kills him?

After the audience witnessed Amara and Ambriel saying Cas was expendable, it was refreshing to see Dean acknowledging Cas as family. The only problem was that Cas was called expendable to his face, so he needed to be reassured face-to-face that he was family. No matter how beautiful it was for us to hear Dean say it, Cas wasn’t there to listen. That’s how we got to 12x03, to the moment when Cas himself told Mary that he still wasn’t sure he belonged there (with the Winchesters).

In 12x10, Dean used the “family” card when talking about Cas again, but the angel wasn’t there to hear.

LILY: How did you find me?

SAM: We’re here to talk, that’s it. We come in peace. Just hear us out. We heard what happened to your family.

LILY: My family?

DEAN: See, Cas is our family, so we can’t let you hurt him.

By the end of the episode, Dean was given a choice between saving his life and saving Castiel’s. Cas was there to witness how Dean chose to risk his own life in order to protect Cas.  

DEAN: Don’t move *his hand hovering over the sigil to blast angels away*

ISHIM: Do it. You blast me away, you’ll blast away every angel in the room. I’ll survive. Castiel, on the other hand, he’s hurt. He might live or he might just end up a bloody smear on the wall. Roll the dice.

DEAN: *backs off*

Dean would have never done anything that could hurt Cas no matter how long they’d spent bickering in that very same episode.

All of this was leading to the big moment… the moment when Castiel would finally realize how much he meant to his family, the moment when he’d see he was loved without conditions. The moment he’d hear from Dean himself (and Sam) that Castiel wasn’t going to be left behind. This happened in episode 12x12, when Castiel got hurt and almost killed.

CASTIEL: Crowley’s right. You should go.

DEAN: Cas, come on.

CASTIEL: No, you listen to me. You– Look, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you, it… it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that… the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you. Just please… please, don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.

DEAN: Cas, no.

CASTIEL: Yes. You need to keep fighting.

SAM: We are fighting. We’re fighting for you, Cas.

DEAN: And like you said, you’re family. And we don’t leave family behind.

The seventh time Dean used the “family” card was everything Cas needed to hear. In season 6 Castiel had told Dean specifically that he was not Cas’ family. Now 6 years later, Cas is saying the opposite. Not only is he calling the Winchesters family, but he’s also using the “I love you” card.

Dean isn’t ready to use the L word yet; the closest he got was giving Cas a mix tape. (Dean could say “I love you” to Mary in 12x22, though, so hopefully he’ll be more comfortable with the L word from now on). At least Dean’s continued to use other important cards like:

 Who knows what that crazy man was talking about. Let’s go home. (12x10)

We’ll work through our crap. We always do. (12x23)

It’s true that Cas sort of betrayed the Winchesters when he stole the Colt, but he did it to keep them safe. In 12x19, he called the angels ‘his men’, whereas Dean and Sam were ‘his friends, his family’. There’s a big difference! He started the season not sure of where exactly he belonged, but by the end of it, he was sure of something: he didn’t care about his reputation in Heaven anymore. All he cared about was protecting his family, the Winchesters. By the end of season 12, I’m sure he didn’t consider himself expendable in the eyes of the Winchesters anymore.

The only problem now is that… Cas is dead. We need him back… Dean needs him back ASAP. There are some cards Dean hasn’t used yet, but we’re getting there slowly. Facing the reality of losing Cas might give him another little push in the right direction. Let’s keep our fingers crossed for more than a mix tape in season 13!

Dark Nights (Part 10)

Originally posted by deanandimpala

Summary: With the Alphas dealt with, Dean and the reader embark on the next part of their lives together…

Dark Nights Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 1,500ish

Warnings: language

A/N: This was my first A/B/O series and it was definitely an interesting ride but I really enjoyed playing with these dynamics and hope you guys had as good a time reading it as I did writing!…


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The Raid/One More Time, With Feeling

So, it’s official: Supernatural continues to be outstanding. I liked this episode a lot, and I like how they keep doing this - acknowledging there is a past in this show while developing new storylines and confirming stuff we’ve been saying for years. Because subtext - turns out it matters. Who knew.

Since I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about this, first things first: the BMoL’s (and Mary’s, and Sam’s) plan to eradicate and destroy all monsters - jolly good, but what does it mean for Cas? For Crowley? For Garth? Apparently they’re not working on a nuclear explosion spell or anything, and instead they’re going after specific groups of monsters one by one. And the thing is, they’ve got no reason to stop and ascertain who are the good guys and who are the bad guys, right? If they find Garth, Garth is dead.

(Is Sam okay with this? Mr Head Choice?)

And what about demons? I doubt you can kill every demon in existence, so the solution, surely, is shutting the Gates of Hell? And we know how Crowley feels about that, at least. As for the angels, again - seems unpractical and unfeasible to eliminate them, not to mention the cosmic consequences there would likely be if it could be done, so, again, is the idea to confine them all in Heaven? Mh.

As for the rest of it, here we go. 

Family Matters

Jesus Christ, what a mess. I know we talk a lot about how these characters have evolved so much they are almost verbatim the opposite of who they were twelve years ago (and how this was done so skillfully we barely even noticed), but with Mary back in the equation, you really see it. The alliances have now shifted. Where once we had John (emotional and barely hanging on and yet terrifyingly in control) clashing with his younger son who wanted a way out and a better life, and Dean was in the middle, trying to keep both of them happy, now we’ve got Mary pursuing a colder, more rational obsession, Dean who’s so done with all of it, and Sam acting as a mediator. Uh.

Now, it’s true we don’t know exactly what happened when Sam and Dean were teens (#season12wishlist). It’s likely Dean took John’s side out of some demented desire to be recognized and loved, and also so that Sam wouldn’t get hurt, but he believed enough in hunting that his brother getting out - that was a major falling out between them. 

But, well - the situation is hardly the same now. Sam isn’t a brainwashed, terrified teenager. He’s an adult, and, okay, there are rational reasons for the choices he’s making. At the same time, though, what’s going on is too close to whatever madness went down in their childhood for me to look with any sympathy upon any of it. Because at this point, Mary honestly scares me, and so does Sam. Him huddling with Mick at the end, saying those things about Dean - that was legit creepy, and more on this later.  

Dean 2.0

Just as an aside, I was very happy to see Mr Ketch doubling back to seduce Dean, because I’ve been saying this would happen for weeks and weeks. And if you write it down, just like that, what went down between them sounds very ambiguous: Ketch showed up with a bottle of scotch, they had a drink together, and then went to a hotel - a fancy place with a pool and a spa. 

The whole thing was coded like a courtship, because that’s exactly what it was (to the point they had to establish Ketch’s sexuality as a preventive #no homo); what made it uncomfortable is the fact Ketch didn’t really want to be there, and Dean - again, the woman in this scenario, as he so often is - was not the right fit for him. 

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I don’t think that it’s all that surprising or unrealistic that Cas returned to heaven with Kelvin; people forget that Cas’ time on earth is literally a blip in his long existence. His connection to heaven isn’t so easily severed despite how the angels have treated him, and despite what Cas said in 12.12. Cas missing his old home and family, and his willingness to try and make things work with them does not negate how he feels about the Winchesters.

Also, I don’t think it’s a bad thing that Cas returned to heaven because there’s a lot of lingering unresolved issues Cas has on that front. Think about it, the only way Cas could ever truly move on and finally be at peace with staying on Earth with the Winchesters permanently would be to return to heaven and settle things there once and for all.

Dabb said that this season was about looking for a place to belong so hopefully Cas returning to heaven is just another step in the process of him really realizing that his place is on Earth with Sam and Dean.

Supernatural has Changed my Life

I remember when salt was just a condiment, Moose and Squirrel were just animals, Plaid was just a style worn a lot in the 90s, Iron was just a metal, Pie was just a dessert, Tuesday was just a day, Carry on Wayward son and Heat of the moment were just songs, Hunting was just an activity for sport, flickering lights was just a sign of lights going to blow and need replacing, 67 Chevy Impala was just a car, Angels weren’t dicks, and Family didn’t have to be blood to be your family.

Reblog if you remember these times.
(Feel free to add more things).

nureyev name meta (ft angels)

so this thing in jewish mystic tradition is the idea that angels are tasks – effectively, gd sends them to do things and they disappear back into wherever once their job is completed. and the names of angels relate to their tasks – michael performs gdlike acts, gabriel enacts justice, etc.

nureyev is linked w the idea of angels, as would-be saboteur of brahma’s guardian angel system, and something of a guardian angel to juno himself. he Also changes names a lot, and each name is linked to a task – rex glass gets grim’s mask, and then disappears; perseus shah steals blair rockridge’s collection and disappears;  peter nureyev saves new kinshasa and threatens to destroy it if they continue their transgressions, and when that’s done he decides on a new task and forges a new identity to complete it.

(and of course people forget this a lot but angels are bloody, bloody; they come to enact gd’s will on the world and are messengers; and sometimes the message is good and joyful and sometimes it is that you are beyond saving, all of you, and there is nothing left but to burn and be rid of your spoils, your family, your city, because angels are tasks. they do not feel, they do not regret; they carry out their duties and they disappear.)

anonymous asked:

Why was Dean acting like an ass to Cas in season 6?

Don’t worry about it, though. We’ve all been there, and especially me. 

So, I won’t get into this a lot because season 6 has been discussed so much - some meta bloggers, like @elizabethrobertajones, even have weirdly specific tags for it (hers is ‘we don’t talk about season six’, which I always assumed was a veiled threat and, as it turns out, she thinks it was a very romantic season and we don’t discuss it nearly enough). 

There are various theories about how this season was built, and one of them is that it was supposed to turn Cas for good - to make him into an enemy and then eliminate him from the show, if I remember correctly, so the general consensus seems to be, Why wasn’t Dean more of an ass to Cas in season 6? This was a narrative centered on misunderstanding and miscommunication, and from Dean’s point of view, Cas was acting like a demented Callahan type for no reason, which, given angels were (they still are, but back then it was particularly noticeable) the most powerful creatures Dean’d ever encountered, was incredibly dangerous, not to mention unpredictable. Dean should have wanted to take Cas out just to be on the safe side, and if it had been anyone else, he would have done it. But, of course, deep bond and stuff. Even after Cas’ done the unforgivable and hurt Sam, possibly for good (protect Sam: remember that’s Dean’s genetic imprinting, and he steamrolls over both friends and enemies to get that done), Dean still has enough empathy and affection for Cas to come clean about his own feelings, and to try and help Cas, or even save him, if he can. That, I think, is unprecedented?

Something that doesn’t come up a lot as a reason why Dean was so awful to Cas during this season (and therefore, what I’ll focus on here) is how Dean constantly refuses to see Cas for what he is - not a human being, but an unknowable, alien, otherwordly creature

Now, from Dean’s perspective (at the beginning of season 4), angels are not monsters, or things he hunts, or things that exist in the real world; they are, instead much more close and personal than that. They are a cherished memory of his mother, and they are, therefore, an emotional concept which symbolizes peace and being safe and thinking that things could, one day, be alright. This is thrown into particular sharp contrast if we compare Dean’s religious beliefs to Sam’s - we know that Dean doesn’t believe in God, and therefore angels, and that he doesn’t pray. So, for him, angels really are this intimate, childish thing he’s allowed himself to cling to all these years: his mother’s voice, full of love, biding him goodnight. And when Cas shows up, it’s painfully clear that Dean takes his very existence personally, and he’s not at all happy with any part of it. Cas is important in the narrative because he sort of ‘pushes’ Dean out of his comfort zone; he challenges him, and makes him feel out of control in a life where Dean’s fought so hard to be in control at all times (because someone had to be). In a way, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cas’ overt sexual aggressiveness was planned for exactly this reason - because Dean’s been written as bi from the start, and yet this is a part of himself he keep a tight rein over, and Cas’ behaviour very nearly shatters all that. We’ve seen Dean’s uncomfortable with being flirted at, and he’s uncomfortable with anyone being too close to him (in every sense) and Cas, in this sense, is a nuclear reaction. All those secrets Dean’s fought so hard to protect from his brother and Bobby and everyone else - now there’s someone who knows them. All of them, including what he really thinks about himself and the shameful things he did in Hell and how they made him feel. And the fact Cas was always in Dean’s personal space was partly meant, I think, to symbolize this intrusion into Dean’s mind and soul. 

(It must have been terrifying, really.)

And the thing is, out of all the possible responses Dean could have to this gobsmacking, life-changing revelation (that God exists and angels exist and one of them saved him from Hell and is now following him around), what Dean chooses to do is extremely revealing: he starts treating Cas like a human

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Cliffside Yoga: Trini (PR 2017)

request: can you do a Power Rangers fic where Trini brings her girlfriend to do yoga on the cliff and Trini’s girlfriend is like “why do you do this?”

requested by: anonymous

a/n: GO, GO POWER RANGERS!!! hey guys!! I am so in love with Trini (and all of the rangers for that matter). Also, in the reboot, Trini’s last name so I am just gonna tag them all. i have a lot of requests ahead of this one but I had inspiration for this one so, here we go! love ya lots, xx aubree.

warnings: none.

word count: 383 (short, so sorry.) 

MASTERLIST

(gif not mine)

song Y/N is singing: x

Originally posted by bluearrow126

Trini was finally feeling at home here in Angel Grove. She had her rangers and now she had Y/N, her girlfriend. Though they had only just started dating, Trini felt that there was just something right about the two of them being together.

Maybe it was the way they both felt like outcasts in their own families, or maybe it was because they enjoyed the majority of the same things. Trini hated the idea of soulmates, but she definitely felt that if she had one, it’d be Y/N.

Trini bounded into Y/N’s room, laughing at the sight before her. Trini hadn’t told Y/N she was coming over, so there she was watching her girlfriend in her underwear, singing her heart out, into a brush, to one of her favorite songs. Trini recognized the song. She had heard Y/N singing it before. Hell and Back by Tonight Alive. It was one of the only songs that Y/N listened to that wasn’t really “frilly music festival” worthy. 

“This is quite the show.” Trini spoke up, causing her girlfriend to jump into the air, “When do I get backstage passes to your headlining tour?”

“Jesus, Trini. You scared the shit out of me.” Y/N put the microphone brush on her dresser.

“Whoops.” Trini laughed, “Put pants on, I want to show you something.” 

The girls made their way into the mines and up to a cliff that overlooked Angel Grove.

“Wow. This is beautiful.” Y/N stood mesmerized by the sun setting over the small town she called home.

“Here, do what I do.” Trini began doing some of her yoga poses, slowly so Y/N could get the hang of it.

They were up there for roughly about three hours, and now the two of them were perched on the cliff, eating snacks that Trini brought in her bag. 

Y/N looked at Trini, “Why do you do this?” 

Trini sat up, “It’s calming. I come up here, usually by myself, and clear my head. I just wanted to share this with you. You mean a lot to me.”

“You mean more to me than I can explain.” Y/N kissed Trini, “Wait. You come up here alone?!?”

Trini let out a laugh, “Don’t worry. Should a giant gold monster show up, I can take care of myself.”


Hello my beautiful and amazing followers this is imhoseoktrash (also known as @mylifeiskpoptrash)

So,some days ago, I finally reached 2k followers here on my sideblog!!!!!!!!! I made this sideblog just a few months ago and I am really happy to have you here and also on my main blog (for those who follow me in both). Thank you!!!!!!!!! You make my life amazing and this makes me feel so happy, specially beacusethis is my first follow forever with this blog💕💕

I will all my mutuals here, (I follow you back as @mylifeiskpoptrash), but still I appreciate every single follower, so don’t feel bad if you aren’t on the list, still you are very important to me. Also I just realized I have very few mutuals here and I need to find more.

So as always:
Bold-Favorite Blogs
♥-People I really love a lot (friends)
💕  - people I couldn’t live without (practically my family)

# - F

@amamir28 ♥, @an-angels-angel ♥, @areumdaun-neoya ♥, @bias-yixing ,

@bish-asu, @blushguk , @bomnaltae, @bultaerone

@chimshmallowmochim, @cowsgovroom, @cryinggoutloud

@cutiebandlover202 ♥, @dancingmachineleetaemin💕 , @dochims💕, 

@ethereal-hobi ♥, @exotic-bangtan, @fiftyshadesofshinee

@fanatic-of-kpop♥, @franticland♥, @frostbittemyheart@fairynams💕


G - J

@galaxyxing, @gukiee💕, @handsomeyuta, @hobihype ♥ 

@hoshilikeadiamond ♥, @hoshyoung, @hotformonstax

@idontknowibangtagon 💕, @imleavingonatrain♥, @i-m-what-i-am

@jeonsomi, @jinsasleep ♥, @jjeonghoshi, @justoneloser


K - N

@kae-popx, @kjginnie, @knjluvr, @kookno-chu, @kpop-is-her-style

@kwon-grandma ♥, @labourofmylove ♥, @lilchubchim ♥, 

@liveonouterspace, @mapleguitar-elf, @megudragon, @milksyb,

@min-nari, @momosrainbowcat, @moonbyuliskillingme ♥, 

@myungjunah, @namri94


O- S

@onlyoongi 💕, @perfectlyimperfectme86, @perksofnerds

@perksofparkjimin ♥, @pierilakkuma, @pustekookie, @rninyoonqi

@sailor-seok, @seokwoo-sf9, @shadyseventeen ♥, @simplyquetzo

@sir-knight-of-trash ♥, @sleepymusic ♥, @snazzydea, @softbeommie

@softforeveryone 💕, @sonyeondamnfine, @springyoonseok


T- Z

@taebae1095, @taeboos ♥, @tae-hyungstongue, @taehyunicorn

@taeonice ♥, @tae-tae-said-hey-hey ♥, @velvethoseok, @winemomseokjin,

@wonhotmonsta, @xx-littlebird-xx, @yeongwonhi-nuna @yoonseokee

@zeloinator


And also thank you to my last 10 followers

@chwejisoo, @coffeecigsnfun, @galaxy-searcher, @jihope-taoris

@keenandayo, @kkaijuu @lightningbolt6  @miyeongi-cutie

@randominloop @sextingwithdaddy

California Dreaming
Not all my romantic relationships were bad, but some of them challenged me in a way that I didn’t want to be challenged, and I am happy I don’t have to do that now.’ Lana Del Rey.

Does Lana Del Rey really live right inside the middle of the ‘H’ of the Hollywood sign and spend most of her nights perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below, as the teaser for her new album, Lust For Life, suggests?

Or does she rent a house in LA’s Santa Monica or Silver Lake or someplace else she’s not about to divulge, in case, having taken a cryptic February tweet of hers literally, a posse of her 6.3 million well-meaning Twitter followers showup on her doorstep with the ‘magic ingredients’ to cast spells on President Trump?

Does she really only dip her toes into ‘the muck and the mires of the city every now and then’, as she says in the album’s trailer? Or does she ‘go out quite a lot actually’, as she tells me when we meet, and spend her nights having fun with a tight crew of mainly musician mates, dancing at house parties, going to gigs and occasionally wrestling the microphone from her male friends to sing Hotel California in karaoke bars? In this post-truth world, it feels pedantic to care too much either way.

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Abandoned

Summary: When Castiel goes off to be God, thanks to the Leviathans, he abandons his sister (Y/N). When Y/N is captured, things go very wrong. Her grace is taken and Y/N is now human and has no idea what to do…

Pairings: Castiel x sister!reader, Dean x reader, (mentioned): Sam and Bobby

Warnings: angst, language, fluff, violence?, Dean being a flirt (yes this is a warning because have you seen him)

Word Count: 1075 sorry not sorry :D

A/N: This was written for @luci-in-trenchcoats Michelle’s 2k follower celebration. My prompt is in bold. This is my first write, so I hope you like it. Also, this isn’t beta’d, so all mistakes are mine. Flashbacks are in italics.

Originally posted by frozen-delight

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Celestial Friend Part 7

gif is mine

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader (featuring TFW & Bobby)

Word Count: 1,324

Warnings: slight angst/fluff

A/N: Part 7 is here! I hope you guys enjoy this next part! Talk to me about what you liked and what you hope to see! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated!

Series Masterlist

After a few hours, there was a knock on the door.  Sam poked his head in first before he opened the door slowly.  None of them were sure when you would be ready to talk, but a talk definitely needed to happen.  These things couldn’t be pushed aside like dirty laundry.

Gabriel nudged your shoulder softly.  “[Y/N] wake up,” Gabriel spoke in a hushed voice.  He got up from the bed to stretch his limbs.

You sat up, rubbing the guck from the ducts of your eyes.  You blinked, noticing that Sam, Dean, Bobby, and Castiel were now in the room.  You felt this odd sense of shame and humiliation.  You averted your gaze from them, as if you were afraid to look at them.

“What happened wasn’t your fault,” Dean spoke, breaking the silence.  He sat on the bed across from you.  “We didn’t know what we were getting you into.  If there’s anyone you should blame, it’s me.  It was my idea to have you meet up with him.”

“I made the call,” Sam cut in.  “I’m not innocent in this either.”

“I found the guy,” Bobby added.  “I should’a dug around more.  I only gave you his name, a number, and an address.”

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Yesterday was the happiest and saddest day of my life. I experienced something so painful and then something so beautiful. I cried all day, but it felt so good. I am so happy & thrilled to say that I will officially be Mrs. Carrots/Mrs.Washington @carrotsbyanwarcarrots . The last four years of our lives have been so full of growth and love. We started our relationship, both pretty immature but we saw potential in each other. We both wanted to work, to grow, to be better people for ourselves, for each other, and for everyone around us. It takes two and he was the first man I’ve come across that really just wanted to try to be the best person he could be. He works so hard in every aspect of his life and I have so much respect for him. Every day he impresses me with his positivity for life, his ability to get things done, and his incredible love for me. I feel so loved by him and it brings me to tears every time. Forever I dreamed about meeting a man that would work so hard, much like my dad, for his family and himself. We’ve been through a lot together, many highs and lows…but even the lows were necessary to get to where we are now. Anwar you are truly, truly my best friend. There’s nothing I can’t tell you and every time I have something to say, you listen to me. Our communication is what has gotten us this close. You are a literal angel to me, I just know we were meant for one another. I couldn’t have created a more perfect man for me. I love you with all my heart and I will always love you. I can’t wait to be your wife! We are going to have so much fun 😻😁😊 Also thank you to @ifandco @benballer & Anwar for my custom ring! Never been much of a diamond girl…This ring is soo me! I love it so much!!!

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Sleep - pt 21

Originally posted by jminies

“Hoseok, did you ever feel like she liked Jimin more than you?”

He shrugged. “They got along perfectly. You think she lied? You think she was just being nice to me because I saved her? Did she ever talk about me?”

“She talked about you and Jimin…I can’t tell you what she said but I can tell you that the betrayal you feel inside is so strong that you don’t really believe that she was just being nice. Don’t try to blame Jimin or find reasons as to why she left, we know why she left.”

“She was scared.” Hoseok began to tear up. He looked away. “You were right you know? I shouldn’t have brought up my feelings for her or anything. She was just so open with me, she smiled and she even kissed me. I remember the night I met her every single day.”

“That night caused a great deal of shock to you…From what you’ve told me, I don’t think she felt pressured into reciprocating those feelings. She had a horrible encounter with her mother and I told you, anything could set her off. She went back to that state of mind in which she couldn’t reason with herself. And I know you want to know that she’s safe. You need to have hope that she is.”

“I know she’s not.”

“How are you so sure?”

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Honestly, they hyped the fuck out of a Kanto postgame only to pull a “bitch u thought.” Listen Game Freak, I needed to follow my actual angel, cinnamon roll girlfriend to Kanto. Lillie nEEDS ME AND NEBBY BC WE ARE A FAMILY GOD DAMN IT

Sebastian Stan Romanian interview translation

Narrator: It is 9 A.M. in New York and the city is intensely buzzing. It’s full of people on Manhattan’s streets, an island that has represented the commercial, cultural and financial temple of America for many decades. Millions of souls animated by the noise of the streets, the reflections on the giant buildings and the savor of the coffee sold everywhere flood the arteries of the most cosmopolitan neighborhood of New York. On 428 Hudston Street, a young man is making his way to a coffee shop. (Sebastian saying “Nice to meet you, [formal] hello, Sebastian” in Romanian). He’s wearing a leather jacket but also a cap, to slightly hide his features, and he’s accompanied by a personal assistant. He speaks respectfully and immediately starts a conversation with the manager, an Australian married to a Romanian woman. He introduces himself simply, Sebastian, and he says he lives in the area. (The manager asks Sebastian if he was born in Romania, he says “Yes, I was. I was born in Romania”, both speak English).

Meet Sebastian Stan, the Romanian who, at 34, stars in the coolest Hollywood blockbusters. The world knows him as Bucky, Captain America’s best friend in the superhero trilogy which has brought him a climatic success in the past 4 years.

Sebastian: I like the whole group of people with whom I’m there making the movie very much, because we get along very well and… yeah, what I can say, (in English) it’s a very nice job.

Narrator: In Hollywood, everybody knows he’s Romanian, from his castmates to TV hosts, and everybody he collaborates with wants to hear him speak Romanian. With Sharon Stone, he flirted live in Romanian. He’s sexy, he’s got a million dollar body and he’s pursued by big advertising companies for various spots. In the industry, they say he has a killer smile. Ever since they found out he’s Romanian, more and more people are starting to talk to him in his mother tongue. He has won the admiration of millions of people from around the world, playing the role of the hot, bad guy which confronts almost all American symbols regarding heroes, characters inspired by comics like Iron Man or Captain America. He stars along Robert Downey Jr, Scarlet Johansson, Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Samuel L. Jackson and many other famous actors with whom he shares the sets.

Sebastian: Every time I wake up in the morning and I think that this is my work, what can I say, it feels very… unreal, like it’s just a dream, that someone’s paying me to hit someone else all day.

Narrator: He easily finds his words in Romanian while the conversation keeps playing. It’s not easy for him, seeing that he doesn’t have the chance to speak Romanian in either New York or Hollywood, in the fortress of American movies.

Sebastian: I have to thank my mom, because she… if it were me, I don’t know if I would still be able to speak Romanian. Because when you’re a small kid, you come here and you try to assimilate, you don’t want to be different, you want to fit in. So I have her and I have my dad, I also speak Romanian to him.

Narrator: His parents got divorced when Sebastian was 2, and his dad is still in America but on the West Coast. He visits him when he goes to Los Angeles to film, and he says his parents kept his interest for Romania alive.

Sebastian: I have to go back to Romania. I absolutely have to go back.

Rares Nastase: Do you feel that?

Sebastian: Yes, but it’s also about time. Now that I’m 34, it’s like I think a lot and I ask myself a lot about family and other things, and I have some questions about Romania and how it was during my time there. Because I left when I was 8.

Narrator: It happened in 1990. Sebastian was 8 and living in Constanta. Right after the revolution, his mom, a piano teacher, took him to Vienna, where they lived for 3 years before flying over the ocean to the United States.

Sebastian: It was very early, but I have some memories. What can I say about the communists and that situation, the least I remember is New Year’s Eve, when we had the TV on for the whole night, cause otherwise it we could only watch from 8 P.M. to 9 P.M.

Narrator: In front of a coffee with lots of milk, Sebastian says he’s happy about the success of the commercial movies which brought him fame, but he’d also like to play more profound roles.

Sebastian: Working on something which is about people, about family, about life, about what’s happening, that’s why I sometimes like European movies, because they always ask these questions that we have in life and ask ourselves everyday.

Narrators: And on this subject, he tells us that he’s keeping an eye on Romanian productions. He’s watched a lot of awarded European movies and he wants to collaborate with Romanian producers.

Sebastian: I started watching Romanian movies more and what can I say, I was… they’re better than American movies. I mean, directors like Cristi Puiu and the movies I’ve watched… The latest one was Graduation.

Narrator: He praises Romanians who make movies because talk about realities in the Romanian society, which he’s getting to know too. Romanian movies made him recently realize what his mother went through when she decided to emigrate with him thousands of miles from Romania.

Sebastian: Even if I didn’t grow up there, in Romania, if I haven’t known the situation in the past 10 years, I felt something because maybe I understood my mom better because of that film, the sacrifice, what it means for the kid, the ideas that we have at a certain moment and then how life turns out. Yes, I was very lucky, but I forget. When I was 22-23, I don’t think I was thinking about what it meant for her, after the revolution, to get up and go somewhere she can make money, to get us food. I didn’t ask those questions at 22, but now I look into it and I understand.

Narrator: Charm, ambition and talent is what made him star in Oscar movies. In The Martian, he stared alongside Matt Damon, and in Black Swan he filmed with Natalie Portman. He also stared in musicals and Gossip Girl, always in roles of irresistible men. But, in the most recent Captain America movie, he has a main role and he had lines in Romania after speaking to the producers about bringing up a bit of his natal country.

Sebastian: They knew I’m from Romania and that I was born there, so they did me a favor and wrote the scene so that it’d be in Romanian, because they knew I could speak it.

Narrator: After 18, he worked as a waiter in a Manhattan restaurant, in a time when he said every dollar counted. He was serving tables, but he didn’t give up his dream of playing on big scenes. His first casting was in Vienna when he was 10, and ever since then he was hoping to get to  Hollywood.

Sebastian: When we moved to Vienna, I tried to get into movies because I liked to imitate people, my grandparents.

Narrator: He feels strongly connected to Romania, he tells everyone that he was born in Constanta and he lived in an apartment building in a seaside town, which he visited in 2005.

Sebastian: I went to the beach, it was summer, I celebrated my birthday there in august, it was fantastic, it was very cool. I got the chance to see Constanta differently than when I was 8.

Narrator: He mentions a sad moment which has kept him in recent years from coming back to his hometown.

Sebastian: After mamaia [kind of like nana] died, to be honest it was a bit hard for me to go back because I know that if I go, then I have to go to the cemetery and I have to face what happened. It’s a very special situation.

Narrator: He becomes very serious when talking about his memories from Constanta in the days of the 1989 revolution. He was playing outside when the riot started.

Sebastian: I saw a white Dacia [Romanian car from that time] with about 6 people in it and they were yelling, they were about 20-25, and they had a flag with a hole in the middle.

Rares Nastase: And you remember the revolution?

Sebastian: Yes, and when I saw this car driving fast with the flag with the hole there, I felt… I always remember, that something major, very important was happening. I go on YouTube and I searched for Ceausescu [Romanian communist president who was killed after the revolution] and the helicopter came and he was going to run…

Rares Nastase: What did you think of that image?

Sebastian: I don’t know, but I felt something… I remembered as if the memory was in my muscles, it was in me, it felt like a knife going into me. That voice of his, when I heard his voice, it was… (in English) like it was yesterday. (in Romanian) Like it was the day before yesterday.

Narrator: He is assaulted with love all around the world, and he says he feels his Romanian roots. He’s always funny and careful about public appearances, but he welcomes his fans with smiles, jokes and even hugs. He travels a lot in Europe and Asia and in a lot of American cities to promote his movies. He goes to the gym almost every day, where he has a personal trainer, but he likes to recharge his batteries by walking the streets of New York for hours. He says that the buzzing of the city and the architecture give him a lot of energy.

Rares Nastase: Is celebrity changing you? Do you have to do things differently?

Sebastian: No, I don’t think I have to do things differently, but I realize the idea of time. You feel a bit like you have more responsibility till the end. What are you doing with your time? Okay, you made some money, now what do you do with them? If you want to have fun, you have fun and that’s your life. If you want to do something important, to leave something behind, to have someone ask a question about your work later, after you died… that’s what changed the most, responsibility.

Narrator: Beyond the climatic success, American newspapers have also been talking about his private life, about relationships he’s had. He dated Leighton Meester for a few years, Gossip Girl co-star, then he had a long love story with the Russian Margarita Levieva, with whom he stared in Spread. This summer, however, there were rumors about a breakup between the two of them because of jealousy. Sebastian Stan agreed to also tell us about this aspect.

Sebastian: It’s hard, I mean I always wonder and question how it’s possible for relationships to work in this business. I mean look at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. With all the opportunities, all the money in the world, problems are problems. It’s very hard because you leave for a long time, you don’t film in one location. You film in a location here, then you go to a location there for three months, then again, and it’s hard to maintain a relationship. I certainly want to have kids and to get to a point where I could have a family and work on interesting projects with directors whom I admire.

Narrator: He told us what the latest rumors in Hollywood are about good places to film in Eastern Europe.

Sebastian: Lots of movies were going to Budapest and another place, and now there’s something with a tax and all those movies are going to come here.

Narrator: At his mom’s home, in New York, he always eats Romanian food.

Sebastian: With mititei, mamaliga, sarmale [Romanian foods], every Christmas we have sarmale, Boeuf salad, I can never forget that.

Narrator: At 34, Sebastian Stan is recommended by the whole world and he shares blockbusters with quality stars. From Romania, to the country of possibility. From the years of Romanian communism, to the heights of success, he doesn’t forget to be a good Romanian.

Sebastian: An actor’s life in kind of hard, because you’re responsible until the end about what you do. It doesn’t really feel like there’s enough time on this planet.

Narrator: He’s optimistic about Romania. He trusts that Romanians can do beautiful things. He started from the bottom and followed his childhood dream. He hoped and he didn’t give up. He searched and he keeps searching to prove that he has talent. Sebastian Stan shows the whole world that Romanians are special, that they are smart and beautiful and respectful. That they succeed because they have the ambition to follow any great dream, no matter the obstacles.

Sebastian: Thank you, greetings from New York, I’m very glad that I could speak to all of you today and I hope to see you in Constanta or Bucharest.

When Ali Andrew Li was born on Jan. 7, he was gently placed on his mother’s chest, where doctors cleaned and examined him and covered him with a warm blanket.

“I just loved it,” his mother, Salma Shabaik, a family physician who lives in Los Angeles, says. “It was really nice to have the baby right there beneath my eyes where I could feel him, touch him, kiss him.”

That was different than the birth of her son Elias two years ago; he was whisked away to a bassinet to be examined. And unlike Elias, who cried a lot after delivery, Shabaik says Ali stopped crying “within seconds” after being placed on her chest.

Kangaroo mother care has been widely used worldwide to care for premature babies, and it’s gaining popularity in caring for healthy full term babies like Ali as well. It is as it sounds: Like a kangaroo’s pouch, mothers hold their naked newborns on their bare chest for the first few hours of life.

Kangaroo Care Helps Preemies And Full Term Babies, Too

Photo: Morgan Walker for NPR

10 Facts

I was tagged by @lullapiee.

List ten facts about yourself, then tag 10 followers.

  1. I graduated college in 2012 with a statistics degree.
  2. I have both major depression and OCD.  It is not fun.
  3. I listen to a lot of 80s music, especially for someone born in 1989.
  4. At one point, my family had three dogs and five cats.  At once.  Now it’s “just” two of each.
  5. On a somewhat related note, I’m almost 29 and still live with my parents.  And will for the foreseeable future.  Los Angeles is really f*cking expensive.
  6. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 23.
  7. I’m a guy, but I like Alanis Morissette.  Makes me feel very nostalgic!
  8. I have three books on my shelf that I stole from my high school library, 10+ years ago.
  9. According to Google, I am the only person in the country with my name.  (A few of you I’ve contacted outside of tumblr I’ve used the name “John”; my real first name is very Italian, and I’m a tad paranoid with its uniqueness.)
  10. My first computer was a secondhand one that ran Windows 3.1, which we soon replaced with a Windows 98 computer.  There was no internet in my house until ~2004, when I was in high school.

I tag: @clara-is-brave, @randomthunk, @infiniteregress17, @twelveclaraisreal, @universe-on-her-shoulders, @anotheruserwithnoname, @whouffaldi-that-is-all, @frombothofmyhearts, @c1araoswa2d, @straightarrowlife.

i have gabriel feels and i’m gonna drag you all down with me

so much of the time he’s seen as a shallow, lighthearted trickster, but for real (this hit me while i was mulling on his perspective for a tough scene)-

the number of people gabriel has loved is just about a 1:1 ratio with the number of people he has lost

(and how many of those numbers are the same people on both sides?)

the angels? lucifer fell. gabriel was nobody’s favorite and lucifer, his mentor, Fell. gabriel wasn’t allowed to love him anymore. and he left heaven so long ago - nevermind the multitude of non-archangels (who knows what they were told, what they might think of him) - do you think gabriel ever wondered what would happen if he went back?

because if you think he ever stopped loving his family you’re so, so wrong, but here’s the thing - they have their own way of loving back, and it comes in ways that are more ‘for his own good’. what would michael do? look at what he did to lucifer in the name of Good and The Plan, and lucifer was michael’s favorite. raphael’s favorite is michael, you can bet she’ll side with michael over anybody, even gabriel - what would they do to him if they saw him again?

and we know he hid out as loki, but god, that’s even more tragic - if you know even a scrap of norse mythology you know that. loki’s been demonized as Norse Satan™ - admittedly by people who don’t understand his role in mythology in the least, but what about the people who do. what about loki’s brother, odin. what about frigg, his sister-in-law of sorts. what about baldr and thor and the rest?

here’s the answer: they hate his guts. loki killed baldr. odin killed loki’s children back.

loki’s children - there’s a tangle (what about the nephilim?) but if you believe gabriel (as loki) had them, then - it’s horrible. it’s a tragedy. six children and half of them (or two and one half) are dead and sleipnir alone escapes enduring horrible torture - the same kind of thing they inflict on loki later - because he’s odin’s prize stallion. odin’s prize.

if those stories are real, how well do you think gabriel dealt with it?

(the answer: not well. he burned his own pantheon down and dragged them to the end of the world for it; if one story is true, the rest probably are)

and then; the trickster. i’ve always thought the trickster and loki were separate, that the trickster came later - here is a god whose own pantheon hates him, who hid and lied and built himself a family that died or was chained or betrayed him - so he reduces himself again, to something with not even a proper name, just a noun describing what he is. he flees to america probably - back then it was probably brand fuckin’ new, to the europeans.

and then what? he entertains himself for the ensuing centuries until we arrive at SPN canon? the trickster’s victims were never entertainment, they were the last vestiges of Gabriel making themselves known - the teacher, the messenger, trying to give humanity one last message to differentiate bad and good - but he’s been loki for a while know (was loki) so there’s a certain amount of viciousness in it, too, and he probably shrugs and does whatever he wants for whatever reason

(he’s denied the name ‘gabriel’ and his whole existence when he held that name - did he do the same for loki, too? in ‘american gods’, america holds a lot of copycats - pale shadows of the same gods cast in a new land. do you think there was another loki, and gabriel just denied he’d ever been one and let his new, New World shadow take his place?)

(do you think he ever let himself remember?)

(do you think he ever looked for his father, like castiel did?)

(i do)

the trickster probably entered the roaring 20′s and never looked back - oh, he was like that before, excess and indulgence and all the good stuff with no moderation because why bother with worrying? but i feel like the kind of society someone like Gatsby could have theoretically existed in is one he would have reveled in

and y’know, he’s pretty old, and he doesn’t change easily (evidence: 1400 years or so and he still loves his family even though they’re all dicks) so: the trickster is a creature of excess and wild abandon, and he glories in it.

this sets the stage, probably, but here’s the thing: we never know what the trickster thinks. anything hinting at a higher motive in the show itself is all, guess who-

(answer: gabriel)

i don’t doubt he knew who the winchesters were as soon as he saw them. he knew. he knew what they were going to do and what was going to happen and he knew he’d get dragged back into it. maybe not how - but he knew. that kind of prophecy was written in the core of him right next to where he still loved lucifer.

and looking back - can you blame him for wanting to stave it off? the apocalypse was the last scraps of the family he knew being thrown in the fire by brothers he grew up with, as much as angels ever grow up.

what else could he do?