i have a feeling this will not be a good experience

socialjusticeichigo  asked:

Is rejection sensitive dysphoria only a symptom in people with ADHD who dealt with emotional abuse growing up or is it a common symptom of ADHD in general? Because I feel like it matches some of my experiences but I don't recall having a particularly emotionally abusive upbringing.

It’s a pretty common thing for ADHD in general. I have RSD but I was raised in a very loving, supportive home and I did well academically so I didn’t have bad experiences with teachers. I wasn’t great socially, but I did have a few friends.

I think that when you’re different and know it (because let’s face it, even if you aren’t diagnosed you can tell you’re different from your peers), you start to feel like everything that makes you different is bad, and that means you are bad. So every criticism starts to feel like abuse even if it’s offered from a good place, with good intentions and gentle words and so on. We respond to criticism as if it’s a threat because that’s what it feels like to us: if this criticism is true, does that mean that I am a bad person? does it mean that I should give up? does it negate everything I know about myself? does it mean that people should hate me? am I going to lose all of my friends? We may not think these exact things, but that’s the sort of feeling we’re dealing with in RSD.

-J

anonymous asked:

How do ik if I'm a trans girl? Sometimes I feel that I won't be happy unless I transition and there are times where I'm happy just being a little about girl. I'm gender fluid ik that cuz I love being male at times but my feminity ranges and recently I think I might be trans idk and it's sorda scaring me. Ik it's normal to have ranging gender identity cuz I experience a lot of range but idk I just want to be happy. Sorda worried. Please help.

Charlie says:

questioning your identity is totally normal!!  I know it seems scary that you might be a) a new identity and b) a marginalized one (though genderfluid is already marginalized) but I think it might be a good idea to go as solely female in one space just to try it out.  Think about where you see yourself in 10 years, and your personal connection to (the female) gender.  Whether or not you find out if you’re a trans woman, you’re gonna do fine :)

anonymous asked:

Any headcanons about Mihawk as a dad?

Dad Mihawk HCs

- He’s painfully protective!

- I mean like he’ll guard his children it’s…excessive

- Will train his child to fight before they can walk.

- Rattle? Try a dagger.

- As they get older he gets stricter but he also loosens up on his protection.

- Rarely fights with his children outside of training. Tries to handle conflicts calmly but he usually ends up just walking off and letting them calm down on their own.

- So much training with his children. Sometimes he brings them with him so they can get experience.

- When they bring an S/O home, Mihawk doesn’t feel the need to threaten, etc. He has enough trust in his children to choose good significant others.

- Also they have to have guts if they decided to date the child of Dracule Mihawk. And he can respect that.

I have been thinking about pirates all day. What’s not to love? They lived fascinating and dangerous lives. Have been taking notes for my Pirate!Destiel story. Coming up with Pirate names, ship names and an interesting plot has been an interesting experience.

FYI: I adore a/o/b verse so omega!dean and alpha!cas its is. I’m already feeling giddy about how these two badass pirates will get along 😆

Now I just need all the good vibes and energy and an extra dose of motivation to get this baby going ⚓️🗡⛓🏝

notsofine  asked:

My T told me that she will be going on maternity leave in the second half of the year and I had a bit of a meltdown. I'm really ashamed and I want to apologise and tell her I'm okay but at the same time I'm not okay and I feel abandoned. I don't want to tell her bc i don't want to hurt her feelings and im angry that I got so attached. How can I bring this up without sounding like a spoiled child? We still have months to go, I don't want to spoil it. Sorry I've never been in this position before

Hi,

First off, your response is not unusual. I would be very surprised if your therapist wasn’t expecting some of her clients to do freak out. The issues behind the freak out can vary widely - like you said, it can bring up abandonment, especially if we haven’t had good experiences with people leaving and coming back, or jealously, especially when there is a fair bit of parental transference for the client or anger. I can’t speak for your therapist but I do know a whole bunch of good therapists who have gone on maternal/paternal/sick leave. We want to know how you are feeling. If you had a “meltdown” in session, she’ll probably bring up it up in your next session. 

Therapy is also where we practice doing relationship stuff - getting attached, finding space, disconnecting/reconnecting, reaching out, etc. Talk about it with her. Tell her. Part of our job is to manage our own feelings with clients - please don’t decide to not tell her to protect her feelings. Your therapy is for you. I know it’s scary to bring up this stuff because addressing these issues can make a relationship stronger and that’s so frightening for a lot of people. But it will be easier to address this now, while she’s there, then get slammed by it when she’s gone because you’ve avoided it in therapy. 

As to how? You know I’m a fan of the phone call/email before session if that’s available and you can tolerate waiting for a response. You can also maybe just share part of this ask? I’m really ashamed and I want to apologise and tell her I’m okay but at the same time I’m not okay and I feel abandoned. I don’t want to tell her bc i don’t want to hurt her feelings and im angry that I got so attached doesn’t sound childish or spoiled to me. It sounds like some really important feelings are coming up for you. 

Be gentle with yourself.

i’m babysitting this six-month-old and i keep second-guessing myself like is she really asleep? should I go check? is that puddle of drool uncomfortable to lay in or does she think it’s some sort of spa experience? and then I remember that babies are very good at expressing their dissatisfaction and i feel better.

anonymous asked:

Hii! I love your blog and I have a question. Up until a few years ago, I was a complete bookworm. I read a book every two weeks. But now, I find it really hard to fully focus on a book. It's not like I don't have enough time; I guess I'm not motivated or focused enough anymore. Do you have any experience with this/ do you have some tricks to improve my focus?

Hey!

Thank you so much! <3

I’m going to link a post I wrote, dealing specifically with not reading as much as before, you can find it here :)

You can try reading shorter books, contemporaries that are really easy to get into and fly through, feel good books - nothing too complicated, with excessive world building, that can feel like a chore to understand and get through. You can also try reading poetry books or branch out to genres you haven’t read before, maybe your tastes have changed.

Whatever happens, you’re still a bookworm, okay? :)

Have a lovely day! <3

i have like. a lot to say about why sherlock failed as t.v. show bc i think as a writer it’s a really crucial study in how to ruin a good premise/beginning and tbh if not to just … study how not to handle characters it’s pretty fascinating bc there are some truths which i feel it’s necessary to point out:

  • nobody likes to feel cheated at the end of the story.
  • death only matters if it’s forever and it’s rare.
  • on that note, there should be consequences for actions.
  • trust your characters to be interesting without unnecessary drama.
  • throwing plot at your characters feels less real than having their desires make them walk fully into the glass door of plot
  • if you’re going to make one of your characters “a sociopath” or disabled with ptsd or any other mental or physical illness, do extensive research into the personal experiences of those who suffer it and handle it with gravitas; don’t just vanish a character’s disability because it’s inconvenient to have them use a cane etc.
  • when there’s a good plot twist with nice foreshadowing, the audience loves it. when there’s just always plot twists, the author loves plot twists more than his own story.
  • surprise isn’t always a good thing.
  • “it was all a dream/joke/mirage/spell” is literally the weakest form of writing yourself out of a corner and is incredibly annoying to read/watch
  • queerbaiting is ugly
  • ride rollercoasters, not a broken elevator. have some stretches between plunges. your story can speed ahead and stay interesting without diving into hell again. 
  • having a Big Bad Evil doesn’t make the story interesting; in fact having “monster of the week” problems feels more authentic and enjoyable 
  • write your women like people and let them have plots that have nothing to do with men.
  • just because you’re good doesn’t mean that you are above critique or getting better. you should always be challenging yourself to outdo your previous self, not resting on the laurels of a previously effective moment
  • characters don’t have to be overpowered to be interesting 
  • if a character’s emotions all exist on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most emotion that an emotion can be (the saddest/angriest/broodiest), do not let that character hit a 10 until you are ready to be done with them forever 
  • when you are done with them forever, be done

straight ppl things:

  • outright, obvious discomfort
  • assuming your s/o is your best friend. just love holding hands and kissing them. “you two are such good friends! i want a friend like that” 
  • assuming coming out is a one time thing where you invite everyone you have ever came into contact w/ + will ever come into contact w/ to a party and get on a stage and announce “hey! i’m gay” and everyone claps and that’s that
  • weird invasive questions about your personal experiences
  • “maybe someday you’ll realize that this was just a phase and you’re just kidding yourself! we all go through phases”
  • “haha so did you ever have a crush on me/don’t get a crush on me or anything… jk”
  • “i love you even though i don’t support your actions and you’re inevitably going to hell (:”
  • “you’re so brave for-”
  • “so how does your family feel about-”
  • treating you talking about the shit they do (even if you say it lightheartedly/in passing) as if you went directly into their home and broke all of their dishes, individually, one plate at a time, as they stood there and had to watch

Okay but Neil telling Andrew “I like that you like it” about neck kisses is so important because how many experiences do you think Andrew has had where the other person not only cared about making him feel good but was actually turned on by it? None, that’s how many.

i love the scene when they capture ulaz and no one except shiro thinks its a good idea to go into the blade of marmora hq… allura least of all because she hates galra so much

every single paladin agrees with the princess though, and side against shiro unanimously

he doesnt really put up a great argument, besides just a feeling in his heart that he has about it. and how allura responds to him is the part that makes me adore this scene:

allura, despite her deeply ingrained hatred and distrust, and the support of literally everyone else in her decision, trusts shiro. 

and he was right. it’s such a quiet moment about allura’s innate wisdom as a leader to not have a headstrong response when everyone is telling her she’s right except the one person in the room who has first hand experience with the situation at hand. and listening to them.

2

You have to pay attention to the moments when you’ve felt on top on the world. I remember the first time I was on stage, I was doing West Side Story, I was 17 and this woman was crying because she liked what I was doing so much. I know I’m 28 now and I know the stakes are higher, but looking back on an experience like that reminds me that I do have a place somewhere. Sometimes it’s okay to give yourself a pat on the back and say, “That was cool. That made me feel good.” 

It may be because I'm so new to hockey but intermission interviews feel really pointless to me
  • Interviewer: So you guys were hockeying pretty hard out there but the other team is hockeying as well. How are you going to hockey all the hockey?
  • Breathless, exhausted player : Yeah we're hockeying hard but the other team is also hockeying hard. To hockey all the hockey we're going to have to hockey even harder until we hockey the hardest.
  • Interviewer: Thank you and good luck with the hockey.
  • Breathless, exhausted player : You're welcome (Oh thank god i can go now)

Honestly?  The ultimate 1D dream:

  • No stalkers
  • Harry and Louis being at ease, and interacting without looking off screen every five seconds at someone behind the camera
  • MITAM tour with Olivia and Long Way Down, and A.M. with everyone feeling nostalgic and emotional
  • Not having to place Harry and Louis at different parts of the world before something happens; they’re band members for goodness sake
  • NO! MORE! USING! RELATIONSHIPS! FOR! PROMO!
  • More band interactions through social media from all of them, instead having to rely on Niall, the official 1D selfie taker, for it all. 
  • Interviews they actually enjoy with no intrusive questions/obnoxious interviewers
  • All the boys getting equal vocal time on the upcoming album
  • OT4 being their own opening act and doing some solo stuff during the MITAM tour with the other boys being their hype men :(
  • 1D Day 2.0
  • A team that respects them/their intellect/experience/input
  • TREATING ALL THE BAND MEMBERS AS EQUALS AND NOT TRYING TO SET ONE OF THEM AS THE OUTLIER
  • happy boys happy fandom :))))

what i find really cool about the dance pics is that you can really tell who the characters are by their dancing? like, yurio dances with a lot of anger and without a lot of finesse - he does a lot of cool stuff, sure, his body can do all sorts of things - but he doesn’t have any beat or flow. he’s just making his body do impressive things to impress, he’s not giving a good overrall experience. that’s something he’s struggled with in his skating, where he did amazing technically but had no feeling behind the routine. chris, of course, uses a pole. he’s a very strong man, proud of his body, and very sexual. pole dancing really highlights his skating, and his interactions with the other skaters so far. he’s got nothing to hide. then viktor - viktor is clearly moving his body with a lot of finesse and style, but he looks like he’s still on the ice, not really dancing. he throws his legs out like one would during a routine, poses his hands in the same way, doesnt use his hips. its got class, sure, but its not super dance-y. at the same time, it’s not nearly as serious as his skating can be - he’s there to have fun. viktor wants to have a good time, and dancing with yuri, he is. and speaking of yuri: he, of course, dances like his body is the music itself. just like how viktor described his skating. on top of that, interestingly enough, he seems to go along with the styles everyone else is doing. he breakdances with yurio, pole dances with chris, dances like he’s doing couples skating with viktor. going along with the flow - that’s something that yuri has admitted to struggling with, particularly in regards to choosing his own music for his routines. even though he started the dance-off, he still went along with the styles that everyone else chose. it’s really cool to see all of that reflected in the pics

Quick PSA

I am not selling my art anywhere except society6 (currently) && I have not given anyone permission to sell/reproduce/distribute my art.

So basically aside from the few (like, 6 pcs lol – and that’s just because people wanted me to put them up for sale) prints up on my society6, I make no money off of my art as I only make them purely for my (and the fandom’s) enjoyment.

If you see anyone selling my art, please do not buy from them as they most likely stole it from me and are unfairly making money off of it. Also I would appreciate it if you report them to the proper personnel (if it is at a con or something) or tell me (if you saw it online).

IDK what to feel about this because I’ve been getting a lot of reports about this happening lately so aaaah ;;; I don’t want to upload smaller res art because I want people to be able to look at them properly so I think I should just make the watermarks more visible? I don’t knowww hahaha omg this is all new to me

Also can I just say that it’s good Magnus and Alec are talking about this right now and not later on? Like in the books Magnus and Alec didn’t have conversations about Magnus’ former relationships until Book Four, until after they’ve been together for a while and have already had sex. Getting this out and talking about Alec’s potential insecurities with never having been in a relationship before is important. It is not childish or stupid of Alec to feel insecure, he is allowed to have those feelings. I think most people do normally feel insecure if they have no romantic or sexual experience while their partner has had a lot of experience in relationships. Them addressing it now is healthy, and obviously their date goes well so it’ll end in a positive manner.

sebastian stan is appreciated yet underappreciated at the same time. he’s pretty but he’s also this really good, interesting person. 

this panel has so many good moments [x] such as:

  • had to stop speaking because he couldn’t stop staring at this dog.
  • remembers taking a picture with someone 
  • “when you’re given a platform you have to do something about it..you have to expand beyond your own personal goals.”
  • “i never really thought in a million years that this character or these stories or something, you know, to have someone, who, just reached out to me and said you know, ‘thank you for recognizing something or i’m related to this’ is probably the most gratifying experience out of this whole process.”
  • “the task for me would be to be more involved and see where I can help…even if it’s just, I don’t know, putting a smile on someone’s face, or answering some questions or you know, making someone feel better.”
  • “i’m awkward, I get nervous nervous, I get panic attacks, I get crazy, you know, whatever, depression.”
  • “my job is always to remain as honest as I can and to just, i don’t know, help in some way.”
  • goes on this whole thing about trying to focus on what he can control v what he can’t control, how that helps him to be a happier, better person.
  • “one of my goals in life is to really embrace struggle.”
  • “it’s important to kinda take in and be really grateful about sort of what’s happening, which i always remind myself, no matter what, and i really, really am.”

this video is in romanian w/ english subtitles, so all info is from there [x]

  • “i was very lucky, i tend to forget this. when i was 22 or 23 years old i wasn’t thinking about what it meant to her after the revolution came, to decide to go elsewhere for a better life.” on his mother, the sacrifices she made, and better understanding now that he’s older.
  • “after my grandma died, to be honest, it was difficult for me to go back there cause i had to go to the cemetery, to live that moment again, and face what happened with her. it was a very delicate situation for me.”
  • “when i saw that car driving fast with that flag with the hole in the middle, I felt like… i always remember something major, important was happening.” on the revolution when he was a kid.
  • “when i was watching it (a video of Ceausescu) i felt something so…i mean, i remember like the memories were there in my muscles. i felt like a knife went through me when i heard that voice it felt to me like it was yesterday.” 
  • “the thing that i feel changed most was a deeper sense of responsibility.” on being asked if fame changed him.
  • his parents are what keep his interest in romania alive, and are the reasons he can still speak the language.

here’s another panel [x]

  • remembers more fans. 
  • “the rough patches that you may going through are sort of, also, these great gifts that you can kind of rise from.”
  • paraphrasing but: we’re all capable of rising from difficult moments in our lives to get somewhere. 
  • “it’s the company you keep. people you surround yourself are extensions of you, that’s how i always feel..and i was lucky to have good influences.”
  • gives a fan a hug.
  • space nerd who exposes his knowledge and would live on the moon.

Bonus things: 

  • i think it’s important to remind the people we love why we love them or how they’ve touched us. i mean, i guess if it wasn’t for my mom i could probably be, not even in america right now. [x]
  • "embrace your differences and the qualities about you that you think are weird. eventually they’re going to be the only things separating you from everyone else.” [x]
4

Feel the bond with your lions, and your fellow pilots,
until five become one unit, and you form Voltron!

YEAH!