i have a feeling dan would be all up on this

ummm … why was this video so cute??? why was phil offering up nostalgic stories from his childhood every 3 minutes? why were they so fond of the family bonding time? of picking childrens clothing for dab???? ive not felt true emotions during a sims vid in so long??????? ? anyway here r some thoughts:

  • why did they try to make bowling strike noises for 30 actual whole seconds
  • phil dragging dan for not being able to read the word ‘mirage.’ good
  • the fact that phil kinda sorta equated the connotations of ’mate’ and ‘friend’ with ‘partner’ gave me heart palpitations ahhhhh partner is legit my fav word for what dnp are to each other and to hear it used in the same context as phil’s cheeky use of friend/mate was v affirming
  • apparently a typical dad move, according to phil, is stealing your child’s electronics. when phil got his first iPhone his dad took it and put angry birds on it? for some reason this is vital information to me
  • letting your child have cake on the bed is terrible parenting. both of them agree
  • when phil was a kid he had a toy where you rubbed its back and sparks came out. uhhh cute and also concerning
  • phil singing ‘fireman dan’ made me giggle and simultaneously forced me to reminisce on the fireman pic from their ‘dan and phil go to work’ calendar
  • the wholeeeeee bit where they’re looking through dab’s clothing choices made my heart melt. they are so supportive of eccentric fashion choices and they’re def going to be the dads that let their kids pick out their own clothes and support their choices and their individuality no matter what
  • omg 4:51 and phil saying, ‘you can make references that are old dan’ holy shit this bit. once again i love phil not taking dan’s shit and i love how fucking synchronized that god damn joke noise they make is, like they somehow made them at nearly the exact same microsecond??? and i have so many thoughts about this bc they both tend to make that noise when the other messes up or says something wrong or has a word flub of some sort, and it has always struck me as being something they use to dilute the awkwardness of that kind of misspeak??? like to take the attention away from the misspeak itself and draw each other out of the awkwardness of that moment by making each other laugh w this weird goose noise instead?? which is just??? fucking cute? i feel like in this instance the applicability was that dan didn’t have a retort to phil when phil stood up for himself so instead of just staying awkwardly silent he makes this goose noise (v slightly before phil does) as a way of being like lol this is awk i have nothing to say pls help me here and phil v instinctively/automatically follows as a way of joining in and being like it’s all good, you’re good, this is chill, pls don’t feel awk for not coming up w a witty response, and look now we’re laughing!!! and that’s the purpose that noise generally always serves them?? at least it seems that way to me, but idk like obvi i have no real basis for understanding exactly what the origin and meaning of this reflex is for them, this is sort of just how it seems from the many instances we’ve seen of them doing this. either way overall it’s just such a cute and  warm lil thing they do bc its so obvi instinctive at this point and a shared gesture that makes them laugh and i love it
  • phil wasn’t allowed ripped/distressed jeans when he was younger. those traditionalist lesters staying true to their colors
  • dan thinks phil could be a stylist wow that is like the height of praise coming from the dark prince of fashion himself
  • dan thinks its cute when dab is in the parental bed while phil yells ‘get out’ hahahaha
  • phil used to talk to the monster under his bed bc of course he did
  • ok omg the whole bit starting at 9:30. holy shit y’all. i’m baffled. they’re having what seems like a v benign convo about sleepovers during their youth and talking about the frustrations of having to sleep on the floor and dan says “the older you get, the more you’re like what the hell i’m so uncomfortable i wish i was just asleep right now.” and then wATCH HIM from 9:38 to 9:42 like what is he doing why did he follow up that contextually very chill statement with that intense stare into the camera and pointed sip of his water I’m SO confused. this immediately made me think about double meanings to that statement and the main thing that occurred to me was that it was an allusion to their separate beds,, that the older you get the more you value comfort when you’re sleeping over the fun of having a “sleepover with your friend” and one possible fix for that is sleeping in a separate bed to your “””friend”””???? idk??? am v open to other interpretations tho i have no idea, and like of course maybe dan is just being inadvertently cheeky but idk that jst seemed like SUCH an intentional stare and i am going to be kept up at night wondering what it all MEANS
  • dank brekkerini dan’s right i want to fight him for that
  • phil’s grandma used to cut up apples and sprinkled sugar on them depending on the activities they were doing wow why is his whole family quite literally the sweetest
  • phil correcting dan by pointing out that you could always cook a gourmet meal and dan’s only available response being “well … shut up” wow fucking shots fired
  • dan is incensed at the wasted breakfast bar. why is dan literally obsessed w breakfast bars
  • 12:56 another synchronized moment when they both say brayden in an obnoxious attempt at an american accent
  • i love that they are both immediately in agreement that the only reason to go to a bowling alley would be to play on the ddr machine fuckin nerds
  • martyn worked as a mascot at a bowling alley for his work experience prime lester family trivs. also cute ass mental image
  • their shared reflection about bowling with the bumpers up and the dumb toxic masculinity of teenage boys fuCK YES
  • editing mistake numero uno: they overlaid a backing track for tabitha’s bowling turn starting at 14:27 but then kept the music in for like a full THREE AND A HALF minutes omg (it plays on repeat until 17:57 lmao i was ready to click out of the video it was so annoying)
  • editing mistake numero dos: they do the exACT SAME THING with yet another backing track starting at 19:57 and continuing for like one min this time ugh omg (tbh its kind of fun to see such a blatant reminder that they’re just human beings who were either v jet lagged or v distracted by their fam vacay while editing this)

this video was good. i’m gonna go shower and continue to be haunted by that fucking sleepover comment and dan’s stare. good night 

(sims #40)

The Brave Project

Hello Everyone!

So, with Playlist Live having just ended and Vidcon coming up fast, I’ve been seeing a lot of people posting how they’re bummed out they didn’t get into the Dan and Phil m&g, or how they’ll never get to meet them or say anything to them, and I just wanted to say; I feel ya.

And then I had an idea.

What if there was a way for us all to come together, as one big phamily and share some of our stories with these two guys called Dan and Phil who met each other on the internet and have created this entire world?

And so was born The Brave Project!!!!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Pls bullet point what you liked about the video

A post shared by Dan Howell (@danisnotonfire) on Mar 3, 2017 at 8:36am PST

  • it’s such a random slice of d+p’s day-in-the-life
    • like seriously… what lead up to this meme-y encounter?
    • i just like how this takes place in their house that they share together
    • like it just makes you think this ain’t the only shit they get up to
      • so many bants and lil pranks 
        • it’s so cute
  • there’s no explanation as to why they are holding hats
    • dan’s on the stairs to the gaming room.. but?
      • what video would they need the hats for????¿
      • is that the cowboy hat from the fanfic moment in tatinof lol
  • wait …is phil holding… a sombrero 
    • why does he have a sombrero…? ??
  • the anticipation before dan throws the hat 
    • like, you can just feel him go ‘>:D here’s my chance!!!’
    • how long was he waiting at the top of the stairs for
      • he must’ve given himself time to set up his camera and like, turn around .  
        • unless he had it all planned and ready
          • for some silly contribution to a meme ffs dan omg
            • did he practise throwing it or
  • phil totally oblivious as to what is about to happen
    • he’s just in his own world before the hat reaches him
      • he was totally fine and dandy 
        • he doesn’t deserve this
          • save phil 20k17
  • dan saying ‘what in tarnation’ really quickly before it turns into slow motion
    • gtg fast
    • how ironic
  • the Slow Motion™
    • i feel like it needs some classical music
    • like, it reminds me of this video too much
  • dan’s booming laugh? in slow mo? 
    • amazing
  • the hat’s impact 
    • it like bounces all around phil’s head but doesn’t land
      • it like dances around that beauty wow
    • i love the tufts of phil’s fringe that go everywhere
      • and then just fwoosh’s downwards
  • phil’s recoil in slow mo
    • at first he’s just frazzled looking down/around/behind him
    • but then he sees where the hat actually came from
    • and immediately aims his gaze @ dan
      • he has to live with this lil shit jfc
      • save phil 20k17 x2
  • as phil looks up his fringe follows  behind
    • it’s so LONG
      • i didn’t know his fringe was that long
        • it looks like it’s just gonna fly off his head
          • first dan’s eyebrow in the horse selfie and now this
  • he’s still looking around at this point 
    • he’s like ‘? ?? ? ?  where??? what??’
  • the 😟 look he gives dan
    • it’s as if he’s saying ‘why’
    • it feels like this isn’t the first time something like this has happened
    • save phil 20k11o01029432348 x3
  • the quiet lil snort before dan talks
    • i lov u
      • idk if that was d/p but i lov u
  • THE Z O O M IN ON PHIL’S LIL FACE
    • HE’S like STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT JUST HAPPENENDN FKFKKFDSFKDSSDK
  • dan saying ‘almost’
    • u can hear the lil chuckle in his voice 

overall, pure wholesome content funny banterful interaction 10/10 would watch 5 more times i hope phil gets his revenge soon


i probably missed some things but that’s off the top of my head
thank you for giving me the chance to share this break down of the video

feel free to share reasons why u loved it too

Daniel’s Livestream // 5.2.17

the daniel in the title isn’t staying i don’t have time for 3 extra letters

#danielhowellisuppose

“Can you handle the change?”

New background including white piano and boxsets

He’s upstairs

Mini view of the room

RIP DanIsNotOnFire

Branding discussion

Everyone other than Phil has changed their display name to their real name

“My name is still Dan”

PINOF won’t die dw

Dan and Phil is still Dan and Phil

Electropop Dan would be Howl

His fursona name is D Fizzle confirmed

“You are happy when you feel like you’re being authentic” 

“’2017 Dan is my favorite Dan’ Same”

He played Yuri on Ice on the piano :(

The ship is not phaniel please stop

He bought 4 terrariums being he’s in change of watering them not Phil

Harry’s song is fine FOB didn’t get an opinion unstanned

He’s wanted to rebrand for a while 

He was planning to make that his first video of 2017

They were doing a thing in February and March was difficult (?)

Shelf tour (there’s a Phil shelf and a Dan shelf)

They’re not quite sure how to arrange everything yet

They have some outside space at the new place

Phil was feeding the pigeons with cereal

Phil is not good at making pigeon friends

Not sure to a house tour but he thinks they’re materialistic 

He can’t stop saying danisnotonfire

He didn’t even know this his twitter @ changed 

Him and Phil still wish they could’ve gone to more places with TATINOF

He’s going to make it a goal to post more good content on his channel

He was worried about rebranding 

Change is good!

He loves us and not to be gross but I think we love him too

He gave to permission to call him whatever we want, may I suggest Dan Eel

School stress discussion 

Unfortunately all of the XD tweets were real

We’ll see the room eventually when Phil secretly films him probably 

Phil is happy with AmazingPhil 

He’s going to change his tumblr theme, YouTube banner, icon, bio

His personality is not comic sans please let him live

His new bio will probably be “my life is a joke”

Doing meetups is one of his favorite things

They’re hosting the extravaganza at Playlist

New DanandPhilGames video soon

He set an alarm to post the FaceApp collage

Phil is going on holiday with his family and they’re going to Oralndo v soon

Bedroom instagram soon mayhaps

New Gorillaz and Kendrick music is great

He’d love to see Carrie in the Addams family

DAPG is 3 years old wow

He recently caught up with Troye 

Yuri on Ice saved 2016

Hype for the yoi movie

Attack on Titan is back and it’s amazing

He had a discussion about being weird but I think it was supposed to be a Riverdale ref

Maybe his new profile picture will be a polaroid 

He has to think and settle on ideas and that’s how he is and he’s sorry that that kind of doesn’t make his the stereotypically good youtuber because he’s not able to pump out content in the same way but that’s who he is and who he is is nice and just watch the clip because I’ll cry he’s good I love him

The last few years have been the best years of his life

Bates Motel chat

Renting is difficult 

They can’t get a dog yet darn renting

Phil wants a corgi

“Brace for that who knows”

He loves dodie’s music

I had to leave for work sorry I am unfortunately an adult 

Mentions of Phil: ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| |||

anonymous asked:

heres a prompt if u were interested: neil being oblivious when flirted with constantly while andrew doing nothing, passing by, twirling his racquet is enough to get neil's attention (the rest of the foxes smirk)

“You’re all zoned out,” Matt says in her ear. Dan tips him immediately backwards with a hand to the chest.

“Shush,” she tells him, gritted through the straw she’s worrying between her teeth. She ran out of the watered-down pepsi they’re serving in battered plastic jugs a half hour ago.

“Dan.”

“Shush,” she insists, pressing two fingers to his mouth. She’s watching Neil trying to fill his water cup over at the far side of the banquet hall. He’s hovering in that way he does, like a shark who hasn’t figured out if something’s food yet.

There’s this sweet brown-eyed boy trying to talk to him, possibly the only male cheerleader in the room, certainly the least in the loop about Exy gossip. Dan watches him touch Neil’s arm and Neil jerks backwards into the table, toppling an entire icy water jug so it slops onto the floor and seeps through the tablecloth to the dark wood underneath.

Heads pop up, the boy falls all over himself to pour Neil a new glass, and Neil wanders off, bored.

Dan has noticed that people really want Neil to have a heart of gold. They like the news stories and they want them for themselves. They want the seams showing on his face and the tragedy in his back pocket, and they want to show everyone how accepting they are for finding his scars sexy. 

All they really want is his trim waist and his pretty eyes and his vice-cap badge and the way he shoves cameras away and has more history than any twenty-year-old has any business having.

Dan’s seen it all before. The way people like the character you’re playing so much that they want to take you home and open you up and see how deep it goes.

Neil’s worse at knowing when it’s happening. Dan’s a professional. She can see the way their eyes follow him because at least a dozen are always following her too, especially in places like this banquet. They look at Neil, or Dan, and a little part of them expects a show.

She watches Neil walk towards them with his eyes pouring over the room like liquid and finding every crevice, every exit. She looks at Matt.

“He’s doing that thing where he’s making a spectacle but he thinks he’s being very subtle.”

“That’s his whole shtick. I’m fond of it, now.” Matt grins.

“Do you think he actually noticed he was being hit on?”

Matt hums, watching Neil wind through the tables back to the fox—trojan extravaganza at theirs. “I doubt he knows anything about that boy other than the fact that he was in front of him for a bit.”

Keep reading

I have some opinions/thoughts that I’d really love to get off my chest even if other people think I’m completely wrong.

Gaston did not deserve to die, Gaston was hardly a bad person, Gaston was basically forced into being the villian of this story.

[I’m referring to the 2017 remake of BATB rather than the original animation.]

Let’s point out some difference between the 1991 Gaston and 2017 Gaston
-2017 Gaston was not a misogynist
-did not abuse Lefou
-even verbally
-Like for fucksakes, the friendship between Lefou and Gaston was so genuine. I’m frequently seeing these things around Gafou is an abusive ship, buts it’s really not? He tells Lefou ‘thank you’ says ‘you’re the best Lefou’ sincerely asks ‘how has no woman snatched you up?’, messes around with Lefou like buds (wrestling bite marks, picking him up to demonstrate strength, gets on the table and dances with him), let’s Lefou calm him down and boop his nose, and not once does he insult or hurt even when it seemed like he would (after Lefou wrapped his arms around him, or when he couldn’t spell his name, when he said ‘who needs her when you’ve got us’, etc). They’re sincerely good, close friends, but don’t worry I’m not ignoring all the shitty things Gaston did to Lefou I will get to that in a second.
-I said he’s not a misogynist, right? Cause that’s important. Big step away from the OG.
-Doesn’t insult Belle for reading
-Instead he feigns interest in the book because he knows it’s her interest
-even brings her flowers, whataguy
-Has manners (“excuse me, please let me through” going through the crowd, didn’t push everyone out of his way)
-Goes to her rescue when the town’s people are being mean (sure this is because he wanted to be the hero to seduce her, but seriously he was one of the few people who didn’t harass or bully Belle for being different)
-Doesn’t call Maurice crazy and instead offers his help to soothe the men (again, seduction, but seriously he’s still being polite and helping the underdog unlike the OG)

I’ll probably think of more things to add to this Gaston-wasnt-an-asshole list but I think this basically gets the point across that, well, Gaston wasn’t an asshole. He was immensely vain, yes, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.
Cus ya know who else started out incredibly vain but still managed to be the fucking prince in this story?
Yep, the Beast/Adam of course.

Time to do some comparing of the prince and the villian because spoiler alert, they basically parallel each other.

I’ll begin this part with Belle’s comment of, “No one can change THAT much, Gaston”
Ahem

LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOU SERIOUS
This line pissed me off immensely, because that’s literally Adam’s entire character arc, changing himself completely, literally and figuratively.

Like I’m sorry you wanna do a repeat of the song “Something there” aka the song where the lyrics are basically “he was an asshole brute who I hated but now he’s c h a n g e d”
Literally so pissed off at that all.

But as I was saying, Gaston basically mirrors Adam’s arc, meaning to say they’re practically the same character things going on but sorta reversed.

Like okay
-Upon first meeting Belle, the Beast locks her father then her in a tower and is a huge dick but then they bond over books and he gives her flowers and he’s nice to her.
-Upon first interacting with Belle, Gaston is nice to her, gives her flowers, tries to bond over books, but then he’s a huge dick and locks her father and then her in a cart.

Do you see what I did there? Literally the same actions, but backwards.

Let’s do some more comparing.
-They both have terrible, terrible tempers.
But you know what? The Beasts is definitely a lot worse than Gaston’s.

Let’s review how both Gaston and Adam dealt with Belle’s dinner rejection
-Beast: literally motherfucking demands she has dinner with him, bangs his paws on the door, scrEAMS at her, and then announces she can starve if she won’t eat with him
-Gaston: [not direct quotes, can’t remember exact words but basically what he says] “oh, busy?” nope “okay, then some other time?” boom that’s that. Yeah he still is persistent on winning her over even after this rejection but the man handled it a lot better then Adam (and he brought flowers for her dinner table).

I’m about to move on from Adam and start talking about how Gaston treated Lefou in a sec, but I would just really really really like to put some emphasis on the fact that both Adam and Gaston were incredibly narcissistic men. The amount of self pride and conceded they have is in the beginning is completely parallel and it leads to both of their unfortunate fates. The point in this, is Gaston is not a bad guy just because he loves himself a bit much, just as the Beast was not a bad guy for loving himself too much. Like, the way Adam turns down Agatha for being ugly seems exactly like something Gaston would do, so why does the movie end with Gaston dying while the Beast learns his lesson and gets his happily ever after?
Because, the OG Gaston was truly an asshole who deserved to die and this 2017 remake of course had to stay true to the story. Even though this Gaston really wasn’t a true villian and didn’t deserve to die – rather he deserves a redemption arc just as Adam was given – he died anyway because that’s how the story goes.

Anyway, I’ll get on with this and bring back Lefou.

Some of you have probably been reading this while thinking “But Marley [das my name], Gaston was a shitty person, he wasn’t a good friend to Lefou at all because he manipulated him, let him get punched in the face, didn’t protect him at all, and threatened to lock him up. Plus, he was only into Belle because she’s pretty.”

Alright alright alright: Lefou.
He’s an exceedingly important character as he gives us insight to Gaston’s character.
Two crucial things he reveals about Gaston … .

-Gaston has anger issues. My father has anger issues, and so do I, and we both are on meds for it. Let me say, having anger management problems and getting angry are very different things. It’s just like he having anxiety and getting nervous are very different things. I think most of you can probably relate or understand anxiety more then anger issues, so just put yourself in Gaston’s shoes with that in mind. Anyway, back to Lefou. He shows us that Gaston has anger issues when he rushes to Gaston’s aid by saying “deep breathes” and then “think about the war”. He tells us that Gaston has coping mechanisms for when he gets like this. Does it matter if Gaston has anger problems? Does it make him less of a dick? Like, seriously Marley, does this information really make up for any of the things he did? Yes, yes it does matter. It’s like when you/someone your love is having an anxiety attack, or when you fall into a depressive episode, or when a loved one acts out of PTSD [which Gaston could totally completely have], or when someone with schizophrenia or delusions starts having episodes, it’s basically exactly like whenever anyone’s mental illness starts to act up. You don’t feel like yourself and you don’t so things you would normally​ do. This is definitely the case for Gaston; he acts out of character when he gets angry like this. And that’s my second point that Lefou proves in this movie.

-Gaston is not being himself when he starts doing all that terrible shit that leads him to his demise. Lefou makes it fairly obvious that that is not how Gaston usually acts. He does this in numerous ways which I will quickly try to summarize and go through:
1) Questions Gaston. Obviously if Gaston often tied up old men to trees or in general left people to die, Lefou would have just went with it instead of going “are you sure?”
2) doesn’t immediately lie to save Gaston’s ass. Again, if Gaston frequently had Lefou lie for him, then it would have came to Lefou like second nature and he wouldn’t have hesitated.
3) Once more, questioning Gaston. The scene I’m about to refer to is when Gaston locks Belle and her father in the carriage. Lefou grabs Gaston’s arm and goes to question him again, but before he can Gaston threatens to lock him up as well. Dick move on Gastons end, no? But this isn’t something he would normally do or say to Lefou, for if it was Lefou wouldn’t have bothered speaking up because he would have known what Gaston’s reaction would be. Instead, Lefou is used to being able to talk sense into Gaston and reason with him (refer back to nose boop scene).
4) Running to Gaston’s side for protection during the fight [castle scene]. Lefou is probably used to having Gaston protect him during fights (war time) and obviously didn’t expect Gaston to throw him to the enemy. Like, yous guys heard him shriek Gaston’s name before the piano fell on him, right? He was obviously expecting Gaston to rescue him. Even after he’s trapped under the piano, he still reaches and calls out for Gaston. The way Gaston is acting is not the Gaston he knows.
5?) “I was on Gaston’s side, but we are so in a bad place right now” [however he says it you know the line I’m referring to]. Aight I think this is the one line that really captures the point I’m trying to make. Lefou has switched sides because Gaston is being a major douchebag and Lefou’s not having it. Lefou doesn’t put up with being treated like shit [MrsPotts saying he deserves better and Lefou agreeing]. So o b v i o u s l y Lefou is not used to Gaston being so cruel and angry. If Gaston treated Lefou like this all the time, then Lefou wouldn’t be by his side [because he left his side once he started acting like this]. Lefou knows how he should be treated, and how he’s being treated is not what he’s used to.
You dig what I’m saying? I’m kinda rushing through these points because I’m getting tired of this.

*deep breathe* Alright, last point, as I mentioned above, ‘Gaston only wanted Belle because she was beautiful’ Alright alright alright I’m not even going to talk about the Gaston in this point, I’m just going to talk about the huge flaw that is Beauty and the Beast.

Adam is turned into the Beast because he needs to learn to not judge people by how they look, he needs to learn that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
Right.
So why is Belle the one that learns this lesson?
Adam falls in love with a gorgeous girl, meanwhile Belle falls in love with a hideous monster who turns into a nice dude on the inside.
Belle is the character who learned to not judge a book by its cover [cover being a monsterous beast but inside he is a gorgeous prince].
As soon as Belle walked into the castle, all the furniture was like “yooooo she could be the one, master hit her up” and instantly Adam’s like “well I need a girl to fall in love with to break my curse and she cute yeah let’s do it”. Like of course there’s more to our then this, but what I’m trying to say is Adam had already planned to try to charm Belle before he knew what kind of person he was because he was desperate to break the curse.
So he and everyone in the castle just saw her and was like “she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious?”
So anyway anyway anyway, Gaston was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and he wanted a wife, but Beast was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and could break the spell. See the parallels again? Like, Beast later fell in love with Belle for who she was and she made him a better person, Gaston could have totally done the same thing.
And okay, there’s no proof Beast cared that Belle was beautiful or not, but yo, Disney definitely should have made Belle ugly af so when Adam met her the snob in him would have been “ew she’s ugly, next” and then Lumiere and Mrs. Potts woulda been like “boi Imma whoop yo ass if you don’t give that girl a try, I don’t care how fucked up her teeth are smfh” and then Adam would have learned the lesson that the enchantress was trying to school him about in the first place [this applies to the 1991 animated film, not directly at the 2017 btw]

Well I was trying to keep this professional and moreso eloquently written but you can tell I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all

Okay okay okay
Okay okay
Okay

I believe we’re nearing the end. I believe I’ve said all I needed to say made all the points I could [honestly definitely not because I’m constantly thinking about this and arguing with no one in my head, I have a lot to say and later I’ll be making toast and be like “anD ONE MORE THING”]

I’m very upset Gaston died because he wasn’t a terrible enough character to deserve death.

So Dear Disney, either make Gaston more of a shitty person, or bring him back to life. I’ll be waiting for an apology letter until this is done.

Of course I’m kidding.

I just have such a love and passion for Gaston and I’m truly sick of hearing people tell me that Gafou is an abusive ship and Gaston is a villian.

And if you refuse to see that Gaston wasn’t a bad guy but still believe that Adam is such a prince than you’re insanely hypocritical.

People just see what they want to see.

Also I’m terribly sorry for making this so diddly damn long, I honestly have no idea how to do the cutoff “Show more” thing, I’m on mobile. So sorry if you’re trying to rapidly scroll past all of this and it’s taking forever.

But honestly fuck you don’t scroll past my argument.

And also if you legit read all this then motherfucking congratulations to you. Like I don’t even want to read all of this shit to edit it.

Thanks for the attention. Marley OUTT

Braved D.W. to listen to Niall on the podcast.

– Initially he told the producer he wanted to pull back on ‘Slow Hands’ because he thought it was getting too wild/funky. The song is ‘a sexy one’ with a 70s/80s vibe. Has a big riff/electronic guitar moment. Niall said it basically took on a life’s of its own.

–Album is 50/50 split between uptempo and more stripped/guitar driven.

– Regarding the new label, wanted a fresh start and to see a different side of the industry. He has freedom to work at his pace, but he also has great support/backing in large numbers. Having a lot of fun.

– Anticipates all the guys will tour their solo music and that it will take about a year. No timestamp on 1D reunion. When the call comes, he will be there.

– Niall leaves it open that One Direction could possibly reunite as a trio after Dan wonders “what if one member decides not to return”. Says no one has discussed anything / no specific plans have been made. It’s too soon.

– Regarding Zayn rejoining the group, Niall said “the fans would love it” but reiterates that these conversations are just too premature.

– Group did not want to make Louis’ X Factor performance a media circus given the circumstances. Would have been cringy with pictures/PR. Kept things private. Highly emotional obviously. Said Louis was incredible. *sniff*

– SOTT is “very Harry”. He was listening to it before the podcast. Said Harry was genius on SNL. Very funny. His Jagger imitation was brilliant.

– The guys are still connected/try to stay updated with everyone’s moves and new music. Lives by Louis, has presents all picked out for Liam’s son and will probably see Harry record for James’ show.

– Unbelievable to watch James’ ascent on the Late Late show. Same with Ben. Going to the show feels like home. He gets his haircut there, lol.

– Not on Tinder. Online dating not for him. Usually gets set up / bumps into ppl at bars. Can be quite shy with the “odd butterflies”.

– Promo through May/June/July. Eager to get back to work. Got all the time off he wanted.

– James Blunt is favorite Twitter profile. Thinks Arianna Grande is genius on Snapchat with fans. Golf channel favorite TV. Traffic app is his fave. “oh God I live such an exciting life..golf and traffic.” lol

Straight? I think not.

Warning: Smut
Length: 2.6k

Summary:
Dan brags that his blowjobs could turn any guy gay. Unfortunately for him, his friends put this to the test and lock him in a closet…

“My blowjobs are so good, they’d probably turn a straight guy gay!”

That was the comment I had made during gym. It was also the reason I was currently locked in a locker room closet with Phil Lester. Who was, by the way, the school’s straightest heartthrob, and my least favourite classmate. I really needed better friends.

“So you’re telling me that Chris and your other groupies pushed me into this closet so that you could blow me?!”

I winced at Phil’s shrill screech. “If you could not shriek at me, that’d be great. I happen to like my hearing.” I mumbled from my place on the closet floor. “Look, they aren’t going to let us out until we do it, so can we just get it over with so that I can rush home and wash out my mouth?”

He flattened himself to the wall, wide-eyed. “No!”

“What other ideas do you have to get out of here, then?”

“I…” He stopped, a perplexed look overtaking his frantic one. “Are they really not going to unlock the door? Even if we wait?”

“Last month I claimed that I could eat anything. They trapped me inside of my bathroom with a platter of raw worms and crickets, everything completely drenched in hot sauce. I waited for three hours, but they didn’t let me out until I’d licked the plate clean.”

He tried to recoil further, but he was already up against the wall. “You’re not making me want your mouth all over me, Howell. That’s disgusting!”

“You’re telling me!” I groaned, getting pretty tired of fighting. “Just let me take control, and it’ll be over before you know it.”

He clenched his eyes shut, staying silent for several minutes before stepping away from the wall tentatively. “Fine… But you can’t tell everyone about this.” He muttered, watching me warily.

“Noted.” I sighed, closing my eyes and forcing myself into my sexual headspace. Then I reopened them, taking in Phil’s frame. He has nice curves, I decided, licking my lips instinctively as my gaze roamed over his hips. Good legs, too.

I crawled towards him on my hands and knees. He let out a startled squeak as my hands found his hips, pushing them back against the wall. His scent filled my nose, musky and slightly sweaty due to the gym class last period. It was exciting, causing heat to spiral down and in between my legs.

Whining softly, I glided my hands up and down his sides and over his chest, trying to feel every part of him I could reach. Then I pressed my nose to the front of his jeans in search of more of his smell. Phil jumped, gasping harshly when I nuzzled his half-hard length through his clothes.

“Do you want me to do it, or you?” I murmured, playing with the waistband of his jeans. Phil gaped at me, his mouth opening and closing but no sound escaping. Trailing my fingers daintily across his stomach, I leaned against his thigh to look up at him as innocently as I could. “I don’t mind doing it for you.”

“I-I… Um… Sure?” He squeaked. My fingers hooked into his belt loops, pulling them down and searching each bit of newly exposed skin as they slid down his thighs, pooling at his ankles. He kicked them off, glancing my way as if I was going to attack him once he was done. I simply pressed him back against the wall again.

He hissed as his bare legs met the wall, pressing up against my firm grip. “It’s cold!”

“You’ll warm up quickly, don’t you worry,” I chuckled. I focused my gaze on the outline of his semi through his boxers, which clung tightly to his thighs. Below the dark material was a seemingly endless supply of pale, unmarked skin. I decided that a slow buildup would be the best approach.

I pressed open mouthed kisses to the inside of his thighs to test his limits, tasting his skin with my tongue. Phil took a sharp intake of breath, trembling with the strain of keeping himself still. I moved slowly up from his knees to the top of his thighs. Then I took a quick detour to explore his hips, unable to resist digging my teeth into the taut skin there.

“Did you just bite me?” He stared down at me as I traced the blossoming mark with my finger.

“Mmhmm…” I decided that the dark bruises looked nice on his pale skin, so I tugged at the fabric of his boxers. “May I?”

He closed his eyes and nodded, his breathing getting heavier as I removed the last bit of clothing between my mouth and him. Then I moved to decorate the skin with more marks. Each time I bit down, a soft “ha” escaped from his lips.

“H-how am I-ha-going t-to explain these marks tomorrow?” He managed, squirming under my grip. A smirk tugged at my lips as I surveyed my work, pleased that the bruises were scattered both above and below where his gym shorts would be as well as along his v-line.

“Guess you’ll get to tell everyone that you snagged a hot boy…” I snickered quietly as Phil let out an indignant squeak and slapped my arm. “What? I’m hot, admit it!”

“You wish!” He scoffed, a faint blush dusting his cheeks as he avoided my eyes. Interesting. I trailed a finger over the various bruises, before rubbing his base teasingly.

“Dan!” He hissed, curling his fingers into fists against the wall as my hand ran up and down his length. I leaned forwards, carefully, and flicked my tongue out to taste the bead of precum gathering at his tip.

Phil keened, bucking his hips forwards suddenly so that my tongue slid along the bottom of his length. As soon as he’d realized what he’d done though, he flushed red and leaned back against the wall.

I just chuckled and used my hands to steady him before wrapping my lips around his tip. I couldn’t help but mewl as the salty flavour spread across my tongue, but it was nothing compared to the loud whimper Phil emitted.

“D-Dan… Stop teasing…” He managed, struggling against where I was holding him from pressing forwards. I pulled off, doing the opposite of what he had asked. Instead, I pressed wet kisses along the side of his length. “Howell!” He spluttered uselessly.

Giggling, I glanced up to his incredibly red face. “Something wrong?” I purred. He just glared down at me, his fingers twitching like he wanted to just grab my head and make me obey him. Heat swirled low in my stomach at the thought.

“You are such a tease.” Phil muttered, and I couldn’t help but notice how much lower and more gravelly his voice had gone. Swallowing roughly, I tried to stay on top of the rushing images in my head.

“I just know how to get you all worked up,” I winked. He spluttered again, beginning to growl something about how annoyingly cocky I was. I cut him off by suddenly lurching forwards and taking him into my mouth.

He swore, loudly, and his hands flew forwards to tangle in my hair. Blunt fingernails scraped my scalp as his fingers curled to grip my brown locks, tugging my mouth forwards. His hips jerked a bit as a moan pushed its way up my throat.

We both paused for breath. Phil panted heavily above me, while I forced myself to breathe through my nose. When I finally glanced up to his face, I couldn’t help the choked whine that escaped.

His head had fallen to the side, bright crimson cheeks underlining his darkened blue eyes as they locked with mine. I was slightly aware of my hands falling from his hips. He must have suddenly realized that I was breathing quite heavily through my nose, because he tugged my hair until I moved my mouth off of him.

I gasped for breath, aware that Phil hadn’t let go of his grip on my curls. If anything, he seemed to have tightened it, as if he was afraid I’d run away.

“J-Jesus, Phil…” I managed, lust and want rushing through my veins. He seemed to decide that I wasn’t mad at him, removing his hands to unbutton his shirt. I watched him quizzically.

“Hot in here,” He stated gruffly, pushing the material off of his shoulders and cautiously pushing his fingers back through my curls. “Is this okay?”

“Mmh…” I mumbled, leaning up into the touch. My jeans felt tight and uncomfortable, and now that he mentioned it, hot and sweaty. “I wanna strip too.”

“Are you asking for permission?”

“Yeah, can I?” He nodded, releasing my hair again so that I could shuffle away a few steps. I made quick work of my shirt, fumbling a bit with my belt before finally kicking off my jeans, leaving my underwear on.

Instantly I scrambled forwards to take him into my mouth again, moaning when he bumped the back of my throat. I was vaguely aware of Phil murmuring praise, each quiet word shooting down my spine to join the jumble of arousal filling my lower body. He slid in and out of my mouth slowly as I relaxed my jaw.

“So pretty like this,” He murmured, tugging my hair to guide me forwards again. I took advantage of his newly exposed skin, using my hands to explore his chest and sides as he controlled the movement of my head.

“Wanna touch myself…” I whined, increasingly aware of the pressure on my length. Phil tutted, glancing down at where I was shifting against the hard tile floor. Immediately I stopped and blushed.

“No, want to see you come untouched like the slut you are.”

My hips jerked at the unexpected command, but I managed to pull myself together with a strangled sounding whine. Phil hummed approvingly. Pulling my hair back, I felt him push in deeper at the new angle, until I was deepthroating his length with my nose pressed against his base. The same musky smell from before filled my nose, and I moaned appreciatively as he pulled back out and repeated the motion.

“Gonna come just from me using your mouth, yeah? Only I get to use you like this?” His voice was a low growl, possessively commanding my thoughts.

“Yes! Please… Use me, I’m… your… toy!” I begged in between thrusts, climbing towards my climax much faster now that he was saying such things like that. Phil huffed out a laugh, clearly amused by how effectively he’d managed to take control.

“Good boy,” He murmured gently, holding my head still as his tip repeatedly hit the back of my throat. It was weird, the way he effortlessly switched from commands and degradation to soft praising whispers, but it seemed that my body reacted strongly to pretty much any talk during such intimate moments.

His heavy breathing brought my eyes back to his face. “I-I’m-” He gasped suddenly, breaking off his sentence and pulling me harshly forwards as he fell over the edge. Hot liquid streaked over my tongue and down my throat, Phil’s breathless moans and praise filling my ears.

Then I was coming suddenly, pleasure spiking in my body as my orgasm racked through me. Mine was much quieter than his, considering that I had a slowly softening length filling my mouth, the last bit of his come disappearing down my throat as I swallowed around my noises.

He pushed my lips off of him wearily as he came down from his high, slumping against the wall and sliding down to sit in front of me. I squirmed in my soiled underwear, not quite sure whether to go to him or not. Thankfully, Phil decided for me by motioning me forwards and allowing me to collapse against his chest.

“Did you actually come from that?” He murmured, pressing his heated palm to my sensitive scalp. I pressed up into the touch.

“Mmh.. maybe…” My voice was raspy, almost hoarse. I blushed as he chuckled. He stayed quiet for a few more minutes, brushing his fingers delicately over my abused curls. Then he turned to look at me with a gentle smile.

“Shower?”

“Please,” I mumbled, a bit embarrassed. He stood and went to the back of the closet, rummaging through a bin of towels while I took the chance to admire his body from behind. Turning, he offered me one to wrap around my waist to conceal the dark patch on my front. Once we were both covered, with his towel hiked a bit higher to cover the bruises, we tried the door. It opened easily. I chose not to think about when Chris had come to unlock it.

Phil ushered me through the locker room, grabbing his bag from a bench nearby and following me to the showers. The spray was warm and inviting, and Phil dropped his towel without much hesitation before stepping in with a content sigh. I followed, kicking off my underwear and throwing my towel to the side.

His eyes roamed over my frame before reaching out and pulling me under the water with him. I collided with his chest, nearly knocking him backwards and causing giggles to bubble up from our throats.

“This is nice,” Phil murmured, reaching for the shampoo and rubbing it into my hair. I hummed, closing my eyes at the blissful feeling of his fingers in my hair.

“Yeah?”

“Mm..” His breath moved to the side of my neck, tingles erupting where his lips barely brushed the skin. I bit my lip as teeth scraped over the same spot, knowing that he was going to leave a mark. I probably deserved it for marking him up so much. He took a deep breath when he was done. “You smell a bit like strawberries.”

I couldn’t help but snort at that. “I’m pretty sure I smell like sex, actually.” He swatted my arm, and I opened my eyes as he giggled, his tongue between his teeth. A smile tugged at my lips. “You have a nice laugh…”

“You have an amazing mouth.” He retorted, smirking despite the blush creeping up the back of his neck. I couldn’t help but wink.

“Oh, I’m sure my mouth can do more than that.” Phil swatted my arm again, pushing me under the spray and causing shampoo to run in rivulets down my face and neck. “Hey!” I squeaked, clenching my eyes shut to avoid getting it in my eyes. The sweet smelling suds had almost disappeared when I felt his hands slide around my waist, tugging me closer.

I’m not sure who kissed who first, but it was sweet and gentle and not at all heated or sexual. He tasted like peaches. Who gave him the right to taste so good? I cringed internally when I realized what I probably tasted like, but he didn’t seem to mind. He pulled back slowly, seemingly trying to catch his breath but leaning back in to press quick pecks to the corners of my mouth before resting his forehead against mine.

“I think I like boys.”

A soft smile tugged at my lips. “You think so?” He pulled me back for another delicate kiss, breathing a word into the tiny gap between our mouths.

“Yeah.”

anonymous asked:

Hey so you prob have v v many prompts but like I would love to suggest one.. Okay so, Dan is a very confident slutty pastel teenager and Phil is a badass punk boy that everyone fawns over.. and they absolutely hate each other but one thing leads to another and they end up at the same party where Phil is dared to fuck Dan in front of everyone.. (LOTS OF DEGRATION, and dom Phil and sub dan)

a 👌 classic 👌👌

*small mention of rape*

dirty talk + degrading + lots of language idk it’s one am

-

“You look like a slut.” PJ handed Dan a drink, leaning against the counter next to him, raising his eyebrows.

“Thanks, that was the point.” Dan winked, hiking up his already far too short baby blue shorts. PJ rolled his eyes.

“You’re gonna get raped.”

“Um, excuse me, I can take care of myself.” Dan took a sip from the red plastic cup, frowning. “I haven’t gotten raped yet, have I?”

PJ shook his head, staring at Dan like he didn’t understand him one bit. “I just don’t get why you want to look like you strip for truckers.”

Dan pursed his lips, shifting his pink sweater so it hung on him perfectly, showing just the right amount of collarbone. He smirked.

“That’s probably because you’re a virgin, honey.”

PJ pretended to flinch, shaking his head. “Ouch. That was harsh.”

Dan just shrugged, licking his lips.

“Hey Dan,” PJ started, his eyes lighting up as he stared at something across the room. “Your boyfriend’s here.”

“Shit,” Dan groaned, not even having to look, but he did anyways.

Phil Lester had just entered the room, fully clad in black and far too many zippers.

He was wearing a black leather jacket and t shirt, his jeans the same shade, what a surprise. On his feet were large motorcycle boots. Dan scowled.

He had about five people practically hanging off his arms, Dan hated him.

“He thinks he’s so hot,” Dan grumbled, glaring at his cup. “He thinks he can get anyone he fucking wants, what a twat.”

“Aw,” PJ grinned. “Dan’s got a crush.”

“Fuck you,” Dan growled, punching him on the arm, hard. “I’m as close to having a crush on him as I am to fucking him.”

“Dan, you’re literally the sluttiest person I have ever met.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I’ll fuck almost anyone BUT him.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Positive.”

~~~

Dan raised his eyebrows, amused. “No. You’re drunk.”

“C'mon Dan,” his friend Chris whined, tugging at his sleeve. “It’ll be fun!”

“No, it won’t.” Dan pulled his hand away. “It’ll be a lot of drunk guys daring me to jerk them. I’m not playing.”

Chris sighed, crossing his arms. “Dan, I hate to do this, but if you don’t come I’ll tell everyone that you hooked up with Mr. Parker over the summer.”

Dan’s eyes widened, and he glared at him. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.” Chris smirked. Dan scowled at his friend.

“Fine. Fuck you, fine. Let’s get this over with.”

The game of truth or dare was happening in one of the bedrooms; Dan was fairly certain it belonged to the kid’s parents. It consisted of a bunch of drunk sweaty teens that had formed a circle, passing around risky orders and questions in excited whispers.

Dan sat down between Chris and PJ, running his fingers through his hair. He shot a glare at Phil across the circle, who was staring at him.

The first ten minutes were normal. The other kids basically ignored Dan, focusing on one person after another. They seemed to change their focus often; singling out one poor soul after another. Soon the focus was on Phil.

“If you had to fuck anyone in this group, who would it be?” Some guy asked Phil, and Dan looked up, for some reason interested to hear the answer.

Phil smirked, glancing around at everyone before his eyes landed on Dan. He laughed.

“Probably not him,” he said, grinning cockily. “I wouldn’t want to catch anything.”

Dan felt a pang shoot through his chest, and he crossed his arms.

“Fuck you, Lester. At least I don’t have to wear animal skin to look bad ass,” he shot back. Phil glared at him.

The rest of the group fell fairly silent, and Dan was highly aware of everyone’s eyes on them. Finally Chris spoke.

“Okay but, you guys should fuck.”

There was some mutual agreement, and Dan’s eyes widened.

“What? Why!”

“Yeah, no, for once I agree with you. Hell no.” Phil shook his head, looking shocked.

“With a few more drinks, you two will be all over each other.” A boy, Dan thought he remembered his name was Charlie and that he was the kid this house belonged to, said, taking a swig of his beer. There was some nodding from the other people.

“That’s not true,” Dan mumbled, crossing his arms.

“Alright, is no one going to say it?” Chris glanced around the circle. “Fine, I will. I dare you two to kiss.”

“Fuck no,” Dan said immediately, before Phil could even respond. “I’m not doing that.”

“Dan, don’t be a pussy,” Phil growled in a voice Dan was fairly certain he had never heard from him before. “It’s a dare.”

“You’re seriously agreeing to this?” Dan scoffed. Phil shrugged.

“Well, I’m not scared of a little dare.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Dan mumbled, sighing and moving closer to him, on his knees. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

Phil smirked, leaning forward and pulling Dan forward by his shirt so he was practically sitting in his lap. Dan hardly had time to react, let alone speak, before Phil was pressing their lips together. Dan just let it happen; it only lasted a second before Phil was pulling back and it was over.

“No no no,” Chris said, grinning. “That doesn’t count. You have to really kiss, for at least ten seconds.”

“Seriously?” Dan asked, and his friend just shrugged. Phil mumbled something under his breath, tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair and tugging him back roughly.

This time Phil kissed him open mouthed, their lips clashing and sliding together. Dan was highly aware of Phil’s tongue invading his mouth, and he fought back with his own.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck, kissing him deeper and clutching at his shirt, so lost in the feeling that he didn’t hear Chris shouting that their time was up.

Finally Dan pulled back, mostly because he needed to breathe, and frowned when he realized everyone was staring at him. Including Phil.

Everyone was quiet, mostly in shock, until a boy in the back spoke up.

“I dare you to ride him,” he said, grinning drunkly.

Dan and Phil made eye contact, and Phil smirked.

“Well?” He asked cockily.

“You’re really putting this up to me?”

Phil nodded slowly, licking his lips and tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair, tugging his head back roughly. “Well, Dan? Are you too scared?”

“I’m not scared,” Dan breathed, frowning at him.

“Well then prove it, pretty boy.”

Dan gasped as Phil bit down on his neck, sucking thoroughly on a spot under his ear. It felt completely wrong to have the guy he absolutely despised leaving marks on his neck, but kind of fucking sexy in a way. Or maybe that was the alcohol talking.

Dan felt himself tense up as Phil slid his hand down his stomach, brushing the hem of his shorts.

“Couldn’t we use a different room or something?” Dan asked, grabbing Phil’s wrists instinctively.

“No,” said the boy from before, quickly. “We won’t have any proof you did it.”

“You thirsty fucker,” Dan hissed at him as Phil played with his zipper.

Phil hummed against his neck as he pushed down his shorts, and Dan let him. None of them would remember this in the morning, and most of them had seen Dan naked anyways.

“I bet you love this,” he whispered, biting down on Dan’s ear, scratching his nails down Dan’s thighs. “You’re such a fucking slut, I bet you love being exposed like this.”

“Says the guy who’s erection is digging into my back,” Dan shot back, and Phil shrugged.

“So? I’m turned on. At least I admit it.”

Dan jumped slightly as Phil brushed over his bulge, and Phil chuckled.

“I hate you,” Dan breathed as Phil palmed him, drawing a whine from Dan’s mouth.

“Mmh, doesn’t sound that way.”

Dan felt Phil messing with his own jeans, pushing them down his hips.

“Do you know how many people would love to be in your place right now, you ungrateful slut?”

Dan smirked. “Yeah, just about every thirteen year old girl in our school.”

Phil pulled Dan’s hair roughly, exposing his throat, and Dan couldn’t help letting a whimper escape him.

“You don’t get to speak to me that way,” he growled, and Dan could feel his hard on grinding against his ass. “Understand?”

Dan couldn’t help but moan, grinding back on Phil’s lap. “Yes sir,” he gasped.

Phil put his fingers to Dan’s mouth, and Dan took them obediently. He carefully covered them with spit before Phil pulled them out.

“I figure you don’t need stretching,” Phil muttered, smirking meanly. Dan just nodded, unable to think of a snarky comeback in that exact moment.

Dan felt Phil lining up, and then gripping his waist.

“Push back,” he breathed, pulling Dan back on his lap slightly. Dan moaned, pushing back on Phil’s cock completely.

He grinded back slowly, his eyes closed and whorish moans falling from his mouth nonstop.

“That’s it, baby, moan like a dirty fucking slut for me,” Phil groaned, biting down on Dan’s neck. “Such a good fucktoy, that’s it.”

Dan whined, letting out little gasps and “ah ah ah”’s as he bounced and grinded expertly, fucking himself on Phil’s dick. They seemed to have both forgotten anyone else was in the room, except for a faint prickle on Dan’s neck, the feeling of being watched, which was honestly turning him on even more.

Phil grabbed Dan’s wrists, pinning them behind his back and thrusting up into him roughly.

“Think you can cum without me touching you?” He asked huskily. “Because, that would be really fucking hot.”

Dan nodded almost immediately, speeding up his movements with a loud whimper.

“Fuck, daddy,” he gasped, and Phil practically growled.

“What a pretty toy, acting like such a slut for me, in front of all these people,” he whispered, meeting Dan’s hips with his own. “Everyone’s watching you, Dan, watching you call me daddy and fuck yourself on my cock. I bet you fucking love it, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Dan whimpered. “Yes, daddy, god yes, l-love it.”

“Good boy.” Phil pulled Dan’s head back on his shoulder. “Now cum for me, princess.”

Dan let go with a loud continuous feminine moan, his hips twitching as he thrust forward automatically. Phil groaned, burying his face in Dan’s neck as he let go inside of him.

Dan slumped onto the carpet, completely fucked out, his eyes still closed.

“Jesus,” he breathed.

Phil was suddenly very aware of all of the people staring at them, and laughed.

“Hey, Charlie, I can use your shower right?”

The boy nodded slowly, still shocked into silence.

“Cool.” Phil grinned, scooping Dan up bridal style in one motion and standing carefully. “Uh, if you hear noises from the bathroom, you probably have rats and it’s totally not a second round.”

2016 memes

2016 memes

January:
•bad new year jokes
•if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or this
•all these suggestion blogs
•orange soda please
i’ll have the strawberry soda
me too, the strawberry soda
•You fucked up a perfectly good x is what you did. Look at them. They got anxiety.
•kylo ren is shredded
•Jared Leto: *does something*
Director: oh my God…it’s like…is he Jared…or Joker right now?????
•tag yourself
•super mario 64 half a press
•this is x. be like x

February:
•the finebros suing something
•secret government agent: *punches me in the face* SAY IT
me: never
secret government agent: x
me: *spits blood in their face* fUCK YOU
•bernie or hillary things that have a ridicilous issue and even funnier answers
•jean something, jomething
•damn daniel
•ted cruz is the zodiac killer

March:
•the dad from kuzco being like 👌
•kazoo kid
•everyone who watched zootopia is a furry
•history of japan
•x or y? *insert similiar pictures here, like donald trump and raw chicken*
•get you a man that can do both
•going to papaw’s house for burgers
•no oscar meme is dead meme
•we dem boyz
•i’m you but stronger

April:
•marge simpson
•different variations of the hs panel where jade picks up the note
•tumblr’s lizard voting
•everyone’s a dirty homestuck
•lot of those powerpuff selves
•baby stevens
•ruining someone’s dream journal
•there’s no way out of it you’ll just have to decapitate me
•autocorrect in verbal conversation
person1: i love you
person1: *hate
person2: this is a verbal conversation
•WHAT WE REALLY AREEE
•don’t talk to me or my son ever again
•dark x show me y

May:
•dan backslide (and dover boys)
•dat boi
•stone age spongebob

June:
•are you x or y person? (tag yourself meme in text format)
•get a man who can do both is getting more popular again
•it’s june where the fuck are halloween memes???

July:
•america memes
•IT’S HALLOWEEN
•the vacuum cleaner playing a harmonica
•associating characters/songs/etc. with spongebob screenshots
•this👏emoji👏after👏every👏word
•(any videogame) go, go outside and x
•a picture of something with text, and more pictures after that, in every one of the pictures the picture starts getting waaay worse, but the text gets really detailed
•HANDSY👏CLAPSY👏IS👏A👏NEW👏TROLLSONA👏
•judge: how do you plead?
x: *looks at y*
y: *mouths ‘not guilty’*
x: hot milky
y: jc just lock them up
•hitting the blue button

August:
•arthur screenshot where his hand is a fist
•9-1-1 for kids
•Exeggutor
•harambe
•RANDY YOUR STICKS
•sausage party
•how (character) are you feeling today? *numbers from 1 to ten with silly pictures of the character*
•alola form

September:
•the thing with voltron fandom where there’s train tracks and “death in season 2” and two characters and u have to choose which one to kill
•someone: a basic word
me, an intellectual: that word said with synonyms to make it sound weird
•gonna prank dad when he gets home ((he never gets home))
•[song] but it keeps getting faster

October:
•userboxes
•the presidental debate, i can’t believe that there still are people who want to vote trump after that, yikes
•dedede
•you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
•photofunia retrowave
•picture of someone with those math things
•my longest yeah boy ever
•taking a picture of something that requiers two hands in a bathroom
•posting ur favourite vines

November:
•christmas stuff
•dick: out
•sir, you’ve been in coma
•kermit with a hood on his head
•blurred image that says perfection, after that an image where glasses are being cleaned, and then something u like
•WE ARE NUMBER ONE

December:
•BODE
• *picture of really basic or bad food with text that’s spelled wrong and the phrase “bon appetit” is spelled even more wrong"
•*dropping something, and it spells send nudes*
•x but every time y happens it gets faster
*bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster
•several spongebob memes
•i described the meme about bad pictures with detailed text in july, it’s wildly popular now
•dramatic youtubers

apparently i missed a few things so, additions:
•steven’s knife
•joe biden
•aux chord
•dabbing
•a lot of spongebob memes, like the blurry mister crabs
•nebby get in the bag
•clowns
•harambe happened earlier than it says on the list
•several stranger things memes
•we die like men

some of my favourite bits/random thoughts from beauty and the beast (2017)

(Warning: spoilers ahead) (this is long and goes through the entire movie cause i need to talk about it alright

  • the pretentiousness of the prince at the beginning and his face when he handles the rose - amazing face by dan stevens might i add 
  • how the entire castle kinda looks like a rose and when it crumbles whenever the petals fall - that shit was wild man 
  • that the town was actually diverse??? amazing and beautiful
  • WHEN BELLE IS READING AND SHE’S SURROUNDED BY FLOWERS/ROSES 
  • “she hasn’t made a fool of herself to gain my favour. What would you call that?” “Dignity” (same)
  • ALL THE ROSE MOTIFS HOLY FUCK OKAY 
  • that mother fucking groan in ‘belle (reprise)’ that every woman can relate to
  • HOW DOES THIS ENTIRE FAMILY TRUST THE INSTINCTS OF A HORSE AND TALK TO IT LIKE IT UNDERSTANDS EVERY FUCKING WORD? AMAZING AND MIND BLOWING 
  • when cadenza had that ‘oh shit’ moment 
  • maurice trying to act all chill before freaking the fuck out 
  • lets be real - every moment between lumiere and cogsworth
  • “Who are you?” “Who are you?” - same adam 
  • why doesn’t this castle have any railings? like, i understand its a dungeon or whatever….but like,,,safety people???
  • “or as i like to call it, the only wing” nice save lumiere 
  • table dancing in gaston….so many feelings for it 
  • “You can’t judge people by who their father is, now can you?” YASSSS GIVE ME BACKSTORY I LOVE THIS SHIT
  • the fact that adam/the beast struggles with having a normal conversation cause he’s an idiot who hasn’t interacted with people properly in yearssssssss
  • the fact that mrs potts is okay with belle leaving. she’s so sweet and i loved her in this
  • WHY DIDN’T LUMIERE LET BELLE EAT AT ALL DURING ‘BE OUR GUEST’? FUCKING RUDE
  • also, the amount of extra lumiere was in this scene? amazing 
  • does the beast sleep in a nest or a bed? like….i have a lot of feelings about this okay
  • (dan stevens knocks me out every time he talks in this movie okay. SO MUCH EMOTION)
  • the fact that the castle has a doggy door????
  • The way that the beast fainted, was like…..so very human and i love it okay
  • do you think agatha was fucking tired of waiting for a girl to come around or do you think it’s destiny that led her there - too many rose motifs have forced me into these thoughts
  • how nuts is gaston tho??? like the fuck is up with him really??
  • DAYS IN THE SUN THO - LIKE….LITTLE PRINCE DIDN’T REALLY GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIS MUM. I WANNA DIE 
  • “My favourite is romeo and juliet” *beast eyerolls for days* (like same dude)
  • BELLE’S REACTION TO SEEING THE LIBRARY - LETS BE REAL, SAME
  • (also, highly sure the library scene is where beast realises he likes belle) 
  • the beast imitating the horse; beautiful and adorable 
  • snowball scene
  • THE BEAST UNABLE TO HOLD ALL THE BOOKS. AMAZING
  • BEAST TRYING TO PLAY THAT HE ISN’T READING A ROMANCE - DORK 
  • “What do you say we run away?” - YAS BITCH YASSSSSS
  • “too touristy?” - i love him 
  • “LET’S GO HOME” AND FUCKING BEAST’S FACE, SO TENDER AND SOFT I WANT TO CRY
  •  the water from the bath splashing on lumiere….brilliant
  • THE BEAST WEARING MAKE UP I’M CRYING
  • the dress was beautiful and i will fight everyone who says it isn’t great 
  • THE PART OF THE DANCE WHERE THE BEAST DIPS BELLE AND THEN HAS HER UP ON HIS HIP IN LIKE ONE MOVE - FUCKING BRO, HE IS AMAZING
  • AND BELLE’S FACE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE THING - SHE’S IN LOVE WITH HIM THE MOST IN THAT DANCE 
  • THE BEAST ASKING HER IF SHE COULD BE HAPPY THERE, THAT SHE MAY ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND THERE’S ME CRYING IN THE CORNER 
  • The bit where the beast sees belle run away, that sharp exhale of like shock and sadness 
  • in evermore where the beast closes his eyes to go with the line “i close my eyes and she’s still there’ - LIKE, THAT ACTUAL HEAD SHAKE OF HIM REALISING HOW IN LOVE WITH HER HE IS. FUCKING RUIN ME
  • HE WAITED IN THE SAME SPOT HE LAST SAW HER. HE WOULD HAVE WAITED THERE FOREVER 
  • THE WAY THE BEAST’S VOICE IS SO DESPERATE AND SURPRISED TO SEE BELLE AGAIN AND HE IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HER 
  •  “I am not a beast” - YAS BITCH, YOU TELL HIM 
  • also…..adam fucking jumped across the castle to get to belle….goals 
  • the beast was shot 3 times in the back….i mean….tough as shit he is 
  • He just wanted her there, to say goodbye and he’s in love with her and i’m dead inside 
  • HE DIED WITH HIS EYES OPEN, FUCKIG MORBID 
  • when all the servants transformed….i cried 
  • i love dan stevens so i will defend his ridiculous hair until i die 
  • plus that kiss was gold and i loved it 
  • (tho i do wish he had said something to her in that moment, just something) 
  • i loved lumiere and plumette - so cute (but also it should have been lumiere and cogsworth)
  •  that final dance tho….amazing 
  • the growl
  • i’m done. i am dead inside because of this fucking movie i swear to g 
Family’s What You Make Of It

Family’s What You Make Of It | It starts when Dan stumbles through the door of his two bedroom flat with an attractive stranger attached to his mouth, and it ends with, well… a family. Or, the one where Dan is a single father of a three year old, who intends for Phil to be nothing more than a one night stand until he see’s him interact with his daughter for the first time. | Phan | Mature | Smut, self-neglect, implied self-esteem issues, single father Dan | 4,374 Words

Thank you so @phansdick for encouraging me (as always) and then being wonderful and beta’ing for me without me even having to ask ;)

(Ao3 Link)

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Babygirl

Summary: Dan is an innocent virgin and Phil is the bad-boy who likes to make him flustered. High school Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil AU

Genre: Smut that’s kinda kinky but mostly cute

Word count: 4,039

Kinks: Feminization, daddy kink, dirty talk, a little verbal humiliation

You can also read on AO3 here.

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Those Four Words

Summary: “You absolute fucking prick.”

Word count: 1.6k

Rating: Teen+

Warnings: Swearing (guess it’s a little late for that though whoops I’ll just put that in the tags), food mention

A/N: Inspired by a debate between @botanistlester@insanityplaysfics, and some anons on Phanfiction Catalogue about whether Dan or Phil would propose. I, um, might have been one of those anons btw (*cough* #TeamEliza *cough*). I hope this serves as an acceptable compromise.

read on ao3


“Hey.”

Dan doesn’t bother to look away from the episode of Steven Universe they’re watching, acknowledging his boyfriend only with a noncommittal sound somewhere between a hum and a grunt. Phil’s using his ‘idea’ voice, and as it’s barely past ten in the morning and Dan was up pacing the lounge until nearly five, he has neither the energy nor the mental capacity to pay attention to anything more complicated than cartoons right now. He pops another spoonful of cereal into his mouth and hopes whatever Phil has to say is brief.

(He gets his wish).

“Marry me?” Phil says in the exact same tone he used last week when he suggested that they go miniature golfing in the middle of a typical London downpour.

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10

Sketchy Behavior | Hellen Jo 

Never afraid to speak and/or draw her mind, Los Angeles based artist and illustrator, Hellen Jo and her characters can be described as rough, vulgar, tough, jaded, powerful, bratty and bad-ass - AKA her own brand of femininity. Known for her comic Jin & Jam, and her work as an illustrator and storyboard artist for shows such as Steven Universe and Regular Show, Hellen’s rebellious, and sometimes grotesque artwork and illustrations are redefining Asian American women and women of color in comics. In fact, that’s why Hellen Jo was a must-interviewee for our latest Sketchy Behavior where we talk to her about her love of comics and zines, her antiheroines, and redefining what Asian American women identity is or can be; and what her ultimate dream project realized would be.  

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YOI Fan Rec Friday

(24/3/17)

Thank you for all your recommendations this week! 

Rec’d by @yuurioniceismylife​ and anonymous:
the ship of dreams by casscaixn, laurxnts, Explicit, 50k (WIP)
Yuuri and Victor board the Titanic having never crossed paths—Yuuri had won his tickets in a last-minute game of cards, Victor had boarded as the first-class son of a business tycoon, destined to inherit his father’s millions. The last thing they expect is to be caught up in each others’ lives, and to become desperately entangled in a love affair that threatens to ruin them both.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
The Start Of Life by livixbobbiex, Explicit, 20k
After winning a bet, Yuuri had been overjoyed that he’d managed to avoid having a large, celebrity style wedding, in exchange for allowing Viktor to plan and have full control over their honeymoon. Yuuri had been mentally preparing himself for flamboyant luxury, only to land up in a ‘middle of nowhere’ town in provincial Russia.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
What you should know about dating a man with children by SassySalchow (diedraechin), Gen, 2.8k
Viktor smiled at the woman even though he could feel his heart cracking into a million pieces.  “You have absolutely adorable children.” / “Yeah, Yuuri, why didn’t you tell us you had kids?” Chris asked while taking a selfie with the three. / “WHAT?!”

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
The World Opened With You by DiAnna44, Teen, 10k
Despite the smiles famous violinist Victor Nikiforov puts on for the world, he’s been in a slump for almost two years, and no longer views himself as worthy of his fame. When he’s paired up to play a duet with esteemed pianist Yuuri Katsuki, he finds inspiration once again, and maybe even something more.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by @helly-watermelonsmellinfellon:
Yuuri!!! on Floor by thehandsingsweapon, Not Rated, 67k
The gymnastics edition, in which Viktor is still a skater because he’s too pretty on ice and I couldn’t take it away from him. A story about how sometimes love comes slow and soft, and how hearts get bigger when they break.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Chasing Viktor by TheMonsterWhoWentEast, Teen, 79k (WIP)
Soulmates and soul marks were private, intimate things. He’s heard about them in passing, from the hushed voices of his parents, the drunken slurring of his older sister and ballet teacher, and the quiet, but sweet whispers of his friends from the rink. The day Yuuri Katsuki finds his soul mark, he was nursing a throbbing headache and a terrible hangover.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
November’s Secret by LanaBerry, Mature, 18k (WIP)
Overwhelmed with anxiety and his fear of failing, Yuuri faces the issue of if he should continue skating. His best friend, Yuko, proposes a solution - if no one knows it’s you, then it’s less embarrassing, right? Yuuri begins to create a completely new disguise and persona. But it works a little too well. Before he knows it, Yuuri has become the biggest mystery of the skating world and everyone wants to know who he is. Especially Viktor Nikiforov, the idol he’s been loosely basing his new persona on for years.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by @aeriamamaduck:
Exceeding Expectations by asocialfauxpas (fuzzytomato), Explicit, 8.3k
Sighing, Yuuri took off his glasses and set them on the nightstand before he switched off the light. Somehow, he was Japan’s figure skating champion, GPF silver medalist, Viktor Nikiforov’s live-in fiancé, and still a virgin.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
In Our Dreams by phoenixwaller, Explicit, 44k (WIP)

Victor Nikiforov, the Junior World Figure Skating Gold Medalist, has a secret skill. He has the ability to dreamwalk; to visit the minds of others while his body sleeps. The evening after his Junior Worlds exhibition performance he finds himself in the mind of a young Japanese skater, Yuri Katsuki. He feels the boy’s awe at watching the performance, and is overwhelmed at Yuri’s desire to skate against the Russian one day.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Beautiful by saltycvs, Explicit, 8.9k (WIP)
At 23 years old, Yuuri Katsuki is still a virgin, lives with his best friend Phitchit, and eats 2 minute ramen noodles on a daily. He has a Russian tutor, Viktor, who’s way too hot for his own good. They have one hour lessons every Thursday. Here’s the catch: it’s all for Yuuri’s gay erotica novel because he’s a trashy romance writer.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous and anonymous:
& Action!!! by Inu_Sensei, Explicit, 32k (WIP)
Viktor Nikiforov five tine Oscar winning actor from Russia and now employed on the biggest acting company in Asia and collaborates with its newest and ‘Rising Asian Action Star’ from Hasetsu together. Will he be able to cope with the new genre that he chose or will he be having trouble with his co-star?

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous and anonymous:
Ink on Ice by Daughter of Vayu (aquaregia), Teen, 43k
Because a mangaka and figure skater just didn’t mix together. Or so people thought until they saw Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
premier dans mon coeur by aphhun, Teen, 43k (WIP)
Viktor Nikiforov is the top standard for men’s figure skating, aiming to win his sixth consecutive Grand Prix Series. However, he’s been lacking inspiration in recent years. Yuuri Katsuki is the newest premier danseur of the Bolshoi Ballet, and accompanies Lilia to assist in training the up and coming Yuri Plisetsky. All the while, Yuuri’s trying to prepare for his own debut.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Blue Roses by Fauks, Gen, 40k
The royalty, ABO Soulmate AU that no one asked for.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by @chessala:
Through A Mirror Darkly by Chessala, Teen, 3.5k
When 13-years old Yuuri finds a mirror in the hot springs storage room, he certainly didn’t expect to meet a boy called Viktor through it. What he expected even less was the way in which this meeting would twist his life in the years to come.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Take Me Home by AlexLKerr, Gen, 2.5k
Yuuri’s having a rough time settling into Saint Petersburg. Victor’s there for him.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through His Stomach by futuresoon, Explicit, 17k (WIP)
In desperate need of a new job and a new apartment, recently unemployed baker Yuuri Katsuki moves to a part of the city he doesn’t know much about and gets a position in a family friend’s bakery he’s never been to. But the people there are kind of weird, and the bakery gets some strange orders. At least one of his neighbors is nice. Probably not human, and has weird eating habits, but nice.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Finally, I Can Show My True Skill by RoseusJaeger, Mature, 17k (WIP)
Yuuri is finally playing osu! for the first time since his major failure at the osu! World Cup the year before. He returns to be greeted by top players and ultimately by elite mapper, and his very idol, Viktor Nikiforov. Now that he’s returned to the game he once succeeded at, how will he fight his way to the top? As a pro-player or the path of a respected mapper?

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
shine on, shine on (until there isn’t darkness) by yukilee, Gen, 2.3k (WIP)
In which yuuri is fighting his way up the entertainment chain—some place beside viktor, and tumblr decided to pop in and say hello.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Quadruple Flip by haganenoheichou (bondageluvr), Mature, 16k
Viktor Nikiforov didn’t quit skating to look for inspiration. He quit skating because of his damn knee.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Etched Glass by shulkie, Mature, 5.9k (Major Character Death)
Viktor is a glassmaker for Yakov’s time piece shop. On his free days he skates on the frozen shores outside their village. After he saves an injured seal, a mysterious and handsome stranger appears on the shore and follows him home, but Viktor can’t persuade him to stay.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Comfort Food by youaremarvelous, Mature, 20k (WIP)
Viktor is a wildly popular male model who is in crisis over aging out of the industry. He runs into Yuuri, an international university student struggling to make friends in the big city, and decides to make him his pet project. Unfortunately, matchmaking isn’t as easy as he thought it would be—especially when he starts developing complicated feelings for his client.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
The Rules For Lovers by ADreamingSongbird, Teen, 86k (WIP)
Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well…
That’s a long story.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
‘Cause I’m a Taker, 'Cause I’m a Giver, It’s Only Nature by ken_ichijouji (dommific), Explicit, 61k (WIP)
The story of how Yuuri Katsuki slept with, dated, fell in love with, and married Victor Nikiforov. Yes, in that order.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
not gold like in your dreams by ebenroot, Teen, 39k (WIP)
Victor honestly didn’t know what he was expecting when he put out the ad for a roommate to help pay rent for his apartment.


Thank you for all your recs! ₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

The amazing “YOI Fan Rec Friday” banner was created by @omgkatsudonplease! Check out their blog!

Sade Smols

I always scoffed at the local legend about the tiny people who lived in our town. That’s what the adults talked about when we were growing up - the little helpers who lived in the cracks and crevices of homes who scared away bugs and cleaned up crumbs. I never saw one. No one I knew did. But still, people talked about them as if they were there, like modern fairies.

This morning, I woke up to one sitting on my pillow, deftly cleaning a puddle of drool off my pillowcase.

He seemed as startled as I was.

“It’s okay,” he assured me.

I was surprised how loud and clear his voice was, as he was only four inches tall.

“I’m Sade Smols,” he said. “I’ve been cleaning here for the last six months.”

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anonymous asked:

andreil pda around the foxes pleaseee my soul needs it

my marvelous anon, i am here to grant thine request, with a small side of accidental lowkey renison. enjoy <3. also on AO3.


He did it. He actually did it. After months of constant warnings and threats, Wymack finally followed through.

Neil can do nothing but stare at the flyer in his hand, mildly in fear and majorly in shock. A mere thirty seconds prior, Wymack had stormed out of his office brandishing this piece of paper like both a white flag and a declaration of war. He had paused just inside the lounge, making sure to gather everyone’s attention, before striding over to Neil and shoving the flyer in his face.

“This is for last weekend,” Wymack had said. “I already—don’t give me that look, you know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about. I already signed you up. It starts at 8:00 AM on Saturday, and unless you want your ass glued to the bench for the rest of the season, I suggest you be there.” He had then turned back around and disappeared into the hallway, leaving a room full of confused and curious Foxes in his wake.

A full minute passes before chaos breaks out and everyone starts moving at once. Various forms of “What the hell?” can be heard from all corners of the room. Neil blinks as the flyer is yanked out of his hand. He looks up to see Andrew, his eyes scanning the paper. Andrew looks up at him, and Neil’s heart nearly explodes because this look on his face, it looks like the honest-to-god beginnings of a smile. And sure, it’s at Neil’s expense, but he would embarrass the fuck out of himself at every turn if this was his reward. Andrew moves to hand the paper back to Neil.

“Okay, seriously,” Kevin huffs out with impatience as he pushes through his teammates. He snags the flyer away from Andrew who couldn’t be bothered to stop him. Kevin reads aloud, “The Annual Hilton Head Island Marathon…a MARATHON? Really, Neil?! Is this a joke?”

“I don’t know, Kevin,” says Andrew, his voice taking on the persona of a kindergarten teacher. “Did it look like a joke to you?”

Kevin’s only response is to scowl and shove the flyer into Neil’s chest. “This better not affect your performance at our game on Friday. You don’t get to take it easy just because you have to run 26.2 miles the next day.”

By the time Kevin has stormed out of the building, the rest of the Foxes have commenced their team wide freak out.

“Seriously?! He actually came through on that threat?” Dan is caught halfway between being genuinely worried and dying of laughter.

“Neil…bro…what the fuck…” Matt says from somewhere on his left, placing a consoling hand lightly on his shoulder.

“Oh my god, Neil. We have to be there. I have to witness this historic moment. You finally get to put your insane running habits into practice,” Allison is rambling from across the room.

“Wait, what was Wymack talking about ‘last weekend’? What did you do?” Asks Nicky, unaccustomed to being out of the loop.

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