i have a belly ache now

Calm Before the Storm

anonymous asked: Can I get something like where you’re pregnant with Yoongi’s baby and he’s just all about your bump and super into it? Maybe it’s been a bit upsetting because you’re not married and the baby was an accident, but he finally has come to terms with it and is so ready for you to have the baby and you wake up and he’s just hugging your stomach or something? I don’t know… Work your magic, the last Yoongi thing was great!


It was a slight tickle against your growing belly that first drew you from your fitful sleep, the warmth of humid breath caressing the now exposed skin. Confused, your eyebrows furrow in annoyance, your body attempting to adjust itself as you twist your aching back.

Just as you’re drifting off again you feel the sensation once more, followed by a puckering of wetness, the unmistakable sound of lips connecting with your stomach meeting your ears. Your eyes open, still hazy with sleep, as they take in the sight of Yoongi’s face nestled closely against your swollen abdomen, whispering words that couldn’t quiet reach your ears over the taught flesh. You feel your baby move inside you, stirring at her father’s words, and your heart skips a beat at the intimacy of the sight you were taking in.

You don’t disturb him, instead watching as his lips press against the stretch marks dotting your flesh, heavy bangs falling over his eyes as his hand shifts close to his face, expanding his palm to rub soft, soothing circles over your inflated stomach. Your baby’s strong movements settle instantly, comfort apparently seeping through her unborn body at her father’s touch. Another kiss dots your skin, before more murmured words, his head tilting to the side to press his ear into your stomach as if to listen for a reply. A particularly strong kick sends his face shooting upward, surprise etched in his risen brows as his now wide eyes stare down at your stomach.

It isn’t until a giggle escapes your lips at his reaction that he turns to you, eyes meeting yours and a blush creeping into his cheeks at being caught. His face darkens, his body sitting itself up and shifting away from yours.

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2

°You’re pregnant and going into labor. Daryl finds you hiding from the Walkers.

The gun I hold in my hand is out of bullets. Running out of ammo a few miles back, I didn’t just want to loose the gun because I’d never know when I’d find another.

Slipping off my pack, I quickly put it away and pull out a large hunting knife.

A dull, aching pain started in my back, quickly rounding to my front where my belly protruded with life.

I was 8 months pregnant and started to panic when I realized that it was contractions.

Now wasn’t the time or the place to have such a thing happen. I don’t think I was even far enough along for my baby to survive.

Loud moaning, shuffling feet and growling could be heard, the horde not that far behind me.

Taking a few calming breaths, I held on to my belly and started to power walk. I needed to seek shelter and fast.
°°°°°°
Breaking through the forest line, I came upon a small town. No Walkers were roaming about, but that would soon change.

The pain was becoming more and more unbearable and I knew that this baby would be born by night fall.

To the right, in the middle of the town, was a pharmacy. I beelined for it, gritting my teeth in pain as walking became more difficult.

Thankfully not a single soul was in there and I was able to barricade myself inside.

I stumbled down each isle, trying to find any and everything to prep for the birth of my baby.

I had to be ready to do this by myself.

My trust issues were dashed rather early on, but I despised people even more so now since my group decided to abandon me.

I was on my own and I had to accept the fact that I may or may not make it through this labor.
°°°°°°
Daryl parked his motorcycle about 2 miles from the nearest town. The prison was running low on medical supplies  and he was the man to get the job done.

The ride was relaxing, letting all the shit that had transpired to just melt away. Riding always did that for him.

His mind cleared and he felt like he could function better after a long ride on dead roads.

He made sure he had his bag, a machete, 2 guns with a box of extra bullets and his trusty crossbow.

Making the two mile trek, he had hoped that it wouldn’t take him too long to clear anything out. It was Spaghetti Tuesday after all.

The closer to town he got, the louder the groaning and growls became. It didn’t sound like too many Walkers, but enough to have his work cut out for him.

Climbing the slight slope of the road, he squatted down to creep his way over so not to be seen.

About 20 Walkers were beating on double glass doors, trying to claw their way in. Someone was in there and he needed to find out who.
°°°°°°
Grunting, Daryl sliced the last Walkers head in two, the goop and gore sliding off of the sharp blade.

Bodies were scattered amoung the road from where he had to distract them a little at a time.

He wiped the blade on the tattered clothing before putting the machete away.

Wiping the sweat from his brow with his red cloth, he then tucked it away as he got closer to the door.

He pounded on the door and didn’t hear anything.

Just as he was about to walk away, Daryl heard a whimper from beyond the glass. He pushed and pulled on the door, only to find it locked or blocked.

Going to the side of the pharmacy, he found a ladder and quickly climbed up onto the fire escape.

Getting to the top of the building, he found the latch to the pharmacy. Quietly, he listened, only to hear the whimper again.

Going against everything he knew, he lowered himself into hole and held on to the ledge, letting his feet dangle for a moment.

He let go, quietly landing on his feet. Daryl pulled out his gun, carefully walking past each isle.

“Oh god,”

It was a woman that was crying. The closer he got, the more he could hear her heavy breathing and sniffles.

Nearing where the medicine was kept, he aimed the gun, ready to fire if need be.

He came face to face with a woman, her gun pointed at him as well.

“Dr- dr- drop it,” she growled.

He took in her appearance and he had to admit that she looked like shit.

“No way,” he cocked the gun, “You bit?” He demanded.

The gun shook in her hand and if it was any more possible, even more color drained from her face.

A spash and trickle sounded as she froze.

“The hells goin’ on lady?” Daryl inched closer.

She cried out, squatting down. “M- my water broke!”

He lowered his gun and looked over the counter to see her leggings were soaked.

“Son of a bitch,” he cursed, panic setting in.

She plopped down onto her rump, her legs spread out as she gasped for air. “Shit, shit, shit.” She cried.

Daryl jumped over the counter and took his bag off. Making sure that his bow was close to him, he knelt down next to her.

“Where’s your people? Husband, boyfriend?” He asked.

She shook her head, crying, “Don’t have anyone,” she bit down on her lip as a contraction tore through her, “got… left… behind.”

“That’s fucked up,”

She chuckled, holding her stomach, “Tell me… about it..”

Shock came over her face as she zoned out, “Oh shit… I… need to… push!”

“What!?” Daryl didn’t know what the hell to do.

She frantically began to pull down her leggins.

Daryl  blushed, needing to look away. Jesus Christ he was out of his element.

After her pants were off, she got onto her knees so gravity could help drop the baby.

She grunted, almost nearly screaming as she felt the head crown.

“Goddamnit!” Daryl cursed, his hand hovering over her back.

After 10 seconds she gasped, taking in much needed air through her lungs.

Breathing through her nose and out her mouth, she rested for a second.

“What ya want me to do?” Daryl asked.

She pointed to the bundle that was on the floor, “Scissors,”

He grabbed them, his own chest heaving as to what was happening.

She grunted again, baring down. Tears fell from her eyes as she reached down to catch her baby.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god!” She screamed, just as the baby slid right out from her.

The baby silent, it’s skin a light purple. Daryl did know that the air ways had to be cleared. He quickly grabbed the bulb and cleaned out the nose and mouth.

The woman turned the baby over, lightly patting it’s back.

“C'mon Little One.” He coaxed.

They both breathed a sigh of relief when the baby gasped, a wail escaping it.

The mother cried, craddling the gooped up baby to her chest.

Daryl grabbed one of the towels that the lady had found and gently started to wipe down its back.

“The umbilical cord,” she said, weakly.

Daryl clamped and cut the cord, continuing with helping the exhausted mother clean her baby.

“It’s a boy,” she said, choking up.

Daryl soothed her, “Hey, hey now. There’s a prison, where my group is at. Women, children, food and we have a doctor. Come back with me and we’ll get ya both taken care of.”

Pain pinched her features, “You’d do that for us?”

He nodded.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, as she grunted again.

She handed the baby to him, “Placenta,” was all she said as she bore down again.

The baby boy continued to cry, it’s limbs shaking from the excursion. Because of having taken care of Judith, Daryl already knew how to put a diaper on.

The mother had the smarts to even have clothes set in the pile. He dressed the little bloke, making sure to put a cap on him as well.

It still cried even after being swaddled. Daryl took off his cut and jacket. He then removed his button down and swaddled the baby again.

The body heat from his shirt seemed to calm the baby a bit. Putting his jacket and cut back on, Daryl stood.

“Be right back.”

All she could do was wave since she was still trying to pass the after birth.

Going to the baby isle, Daryl found some more blankets, a baby carrier, the one you strap to your chest, and some pacies.

Ripping open a pacy, he jumped back over the counter and placed it in the fussy babies mouth.

Immediately, the baby began to suckle on it, it’s tears drying up.
°°°°°°
After everything was cleaned up and mom and baby were content, Daryl had to ask his questions.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N Buchanan.”

“How many Walkers have you killed?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “Too many to count to be honest.”

“How many people?”
 
Her eyes darkened, “4.”

“Why?”

She sighed, “Because one raped me while the others cheered and watched.”

He slowly paced, keeping eye contact with her.

“It’s a two mile walk to my bike and a 15 mile ride to the prison… you won’t make it on foot and I ain’t about to put that baby in danger.” Daryl told her.

“Look, I don’t want to be a burden-”

Daryl snapped, “You ain’t gonna be nothin’ if you don’t let our Doc check you out.”

She promptly shut her mouth.

“Now listen up, I’m gonna go, but I’ll be back with a car.”

She looked panicked, “How will I know you’ll be back?”

Daryl laid his crossbow next to her, “I ain’t gonna leave this.”

She calmed, “What if I take it and run?”

He chewed on his lip, “Naw, I know ya won’t. Don’t get that vibe from ya.”

She watched him, then nodded, “Okay.”

“Give me ‘til mornin’ just in case somethin’ happens.”

Snapping his fingers, he pointed at her, “I am comin’ back, so just be quiet, keep him content and you’ll be good.”
°°°°°°
True to his word, Daryl did come back and he even brought two women with him.

One named Beth, helped me and my baby to the car, where we were situated, while the other, named Carol, helped Daryl fill the car to the brim with medcine.

The pharmacy was cleaned out by the time they had finish.

At the prison, I was taken back to the infirmary, where the doctor, Hershel, had given us both a clean bill of health.
°°°°°°
A week later and I had felt like my old self again. It was nice to finally have my body back.

Since we were brought here, I hadn’t seen Daryl. I was told he went out and hunted quite often and was usually gone for days.

Walking around the basketball court, I held my son close to my chest while his eyes took everything in.

He was even holding his head up for short periods of time, which shocked us all.

“Damn, he’s gotten big.”

I whipped my head around to find Daryl by the door, smoking.

I smiled proudly, “He sure has. Wanna hold him?” I asked.

Daryl nodded, taking one last deep drag. He blew the smoke out before coming over to us.

Holding his hands out, I leaned over slightly, supporting my sons head, while Daryl took his body.

“Hey buddy,” he said, softly.

My sons head wobbled slightly as he tried to look up. A small smile formed on Daryl’s lips as he looked at me.

“What’s his name?”

“Kyran.”

He nodded, “Good name. Ain’t that right, Kyran?”

Kyran surprised us both when the corner of his mouth lifted, giving us a grin. A tiny laugh, which resembled a hiccup, bubbled from him, making us laugh.

“Thank you, Daryl.”

“For what?” He asked, as we started to walk in a big circle.

“For taking us in. Giving us a chance and good company to be in.”

He blushed at my words, “Wutin’ nothin’.”

“Just say you’re welcome, Daryl.” I laughed.

“You’re welcome,” he then looked down at Kyran, “Momma’s a bossy little thing, ain’t she?”

But you’re 20 now, and all the girls you knew in school are women. Most of them will soon have life breeding in their bellies and skin that looks like sunshine and they’ll have lovers who kiss them goodnight. And you tell yourself, “No. That isn’t what I want. I have a world to stake my claim on.” And it isn’t a lie. You want to make music and see the world and drive through new cities at night; just you and your solace. You want to cook yourself dinner in your flat and feel content with your own company. But every now and then, if you allow the waning to touch your chest, you’ll flinch and you’ll ache and the need is so terribly there that you have to force it back into the silence before your eyes well up with tears. You want love, don’t you? It’s terrifying how much you want it. And you’re frightened sometimes; and you’re sad. Because no one has offered you love, but you.
—  Love will build its home around you, brick by brick. Give it time.

“I want to feel it all. I want to feel my anger, my hurt, my joy, my pain; feel those things break me and build me, learn from my life and move deeper into it. I want to have all the beautiful stuff, but I also want to know what it’s like to have a face that is frozen with cold, an empty and aching belly, a heart filled with despair, shattered faith—I want to know what it is to suffer. My suffering brings my blessings to light.” -Jillian Lukiwski (@thenoisyplume)
Field notes from WR ambassador Jillian’s recent hunt in the Frank Church - River of No Return Wilderness live on the blog now.
#TrustTheWild | #LiveTheMountainLife by western_rise

Family Portrait (Chapter Nineteen)

I found myself in the car again all too soon, the boys in the back, sleeping as usual. We had been on the road for eight  hours, on our way to my parents’ house after a long night. The boys were tired of being in the car, Luke having started crying about an hour ago claiming that his carseat hurt his belly and his bum hurt. JJ had been relatively quiet, playing with an action figure his dad had gotten him a while back. He hadn’t even touched the coloring book I had gotten him before we started on the road.

I, myself, was tired of driving. Usually when I embark on the trip to my parents’ house I have Jack with me, so we take turns. Now, though, it was just me. My feet were cramping because I didn’t have cruise control in my car, my back was aching from sitting up the way that I was, my head was pounding from lack of sleep and all the noise last night and I was pretty sure I was starting to doze off.

The night had been seemingly endless. Rebecca and I hadn’t gotten home until 3:30 in the morning, long after Ed’s parents had left and Ed had gone to sleep, too tired to wait up for us. I had helped Rebecca transfer the items she had collected throughout the night to the house with tired eyes and a clouded mind. Not once did I stop thinking about Jack all night. It wasn’t even about whether or not he was with Kelly, either (which I found out he wasn’t because she had been at the first store we went to). I kept thinking about whether or not he would have food in the house to eat, or if he knew what doctor to go to if he accidentally hurt himself doing something stupid, or if he would remember to throw out the milk when it went bad instead of trying to keep drinking it like he always did. It was the little things like that that had kept me distanced from all of my friends last night. I was worried about Jack’s well being as if he were my child and I needed to care for him and protect him at all costs. No matter how many times I tried to shake him out of my head, I couldn’t do it. I just kept thinking of his face as I left the house with the boys. Rebecca, Rose and Greta tried to tell me countless times that Jack would be okay and that I needed ‘alone’ time (whatever that means, because, trust me, I don’t get any alone time whatsoever when I take the boys to my parents’ house). They told me I didn’t need to worry about him. “Jack’s a big boy, he can handle himself.” Greta had growled, shoving past a random person who was trying to cut in front of her. Even so, I still felt obligated.

After we had gotten back to Rebecca’s, she checked the extra room to see if it was dirty. Instead of finding it messy, she found Ed sleeping heavily. She insisted that I take their bed with the boys and just let her sleep in the guest bedroom with her husband. It took a lot of prodding, of course, but I finally went to sleep in their bedroom with my children. Not much sleeping got done, though, because as soon as I was alone my mind started reeling more, thinking about what I would have to do to get to my parents’ house and how many times I would have to stop for gas and what I would do if I got sleepy. Issue after issue kept piling on until I squeezed my eyes shut, breathed in and counted to five and then breathed out and counted to seven. Over and over again. I probably did that process about twenty times before I finally fell asleep. Before I knew it, I was being woken up from my sleep by Luke asking where the bathroom was. That had been at seven this morning, and Rebecca was already awake, so after I took Luke to the bathroom, I woke JJ up, said good-bye and thank you to my hostess and left. We stopped at a McDonald’s a few towns over to get breakfast.

Now, at 3 in the afternoon, exactly twelve hours after I had been with my friends, I was still thinking about him; worrying about his well being. Once again, I debated turning back around to make up and stay in my own home, forget anything ever happened. But, that’s the thing: things did happen. Jack did sleep with Kelly, Jack did say he was only with me because of the boys, Jack did have a baby with Kelly and Kelly did admit to everything in her own nasty way. It hurt and it sucked, but it was all out there now, the cold, dead, hard truth was out there and there was no way of ignoring it or taking it back or forget it. It was engraved in my brain now, and the only thing that I could do now was move on to the future, think of what would be best for me and JJ and Luke, and if that meant not going back to Jack, then so be it.

-

Six hours later, 9 o’clock on a Saturday night.

The streets of my hometown were bare. Usually they would have been crawling with people at this time, but the snow covered the street and the wind outside was howling wildly. The bare trees in the front yards were blowing in the wind. In a few houses I could see smoke coming from the chimneys. I could only imagine the families sitting next to the fire, speaking about their day or maybe even watching a movie. It’s something I wanted to do when I brought Jack and the boys out here. Too bad it wasn’t going to happen at this moment in time. Some of the houses we passed had lights on in the front and they all looked warm and inviting, cozy and loving.

“Are we there yet?” Luke asked, sitting up in his carseat.

Tiredly, I looked in the rearview mirror and nodded. As soon as I did, he started to unbuckle his seat belt to try to get up.

“Sit down, right now.” I demanded, panicking slightly. We were literally twenty feet away from my parents’ house, but I still didn’t want anything to happen in that time.

I parallel parked in front of the house and turned the car off, letting out a relieved sigh. The thought of being able to be out of the car seemed extremely orgasmic at the moment.

“Okay, now you can get out. Let’s go see Grandma and Grandpa.” I smiled, opening the car door. My smile grew wider as the boys jumped out of the car as well, yelling their grandparents’ names. I knew they couldn’t hear them, but it was still cute, and even though it might have caused a disruption for other people, I didn’t make them stop. Their excitement lightened up my life for a moment.

I hadn’t told the folks that I was coming to visit, mostly because it had slipped my mind. Part of me felt guilty, but another part just didn’t care because I knew they loved when I visited with the boys.

I followed the boys to the front door, where they were knocking loudly, their voices ringing through the night air, echoing down the street. As late as it was then, I was surprised that my mother didn’t answer the door extremely pissed off. She must have heard her grand children’s voices on the other side of the door, because when she opened it she had a huge grin on her face.

My mother had aged a lot since I had last seen her. When we spoke on the phone, I could tell that stress was bringing her down, but I would have never guessed it would be this bad. Her job as a surgeon put a lot of stress on her back, so it was understandable and it made sense that it would age her, but I just never thought it would make her seem so much older in so little time.

As soon as the door was open, my mother’s arms opened as well and the boys jumped into her arms, ecstatic and cheering with each other.

“Look at this!” The woman in front of me exclaimed, groaning as she bent down to wrap her arms around my children. “My three favorite people in the whole entire world! To what do I owe the surprise?”

JJ backed away from my mother and looked from her to me and back again before leaning in to whisper something in her ear.

I cocked an eyebrow at him, wondering what on earth he was saying to my mother that he couldn’t tell me, or felt as if he couldn’t tell me.

“Your mommy and daddy are having a fight?” My mother, too, raised an eyebrow at me and directed her attention back to the kids. “How about you go say hi to your grandfather and auntie Katelyn. I’ll speak with your mother.”

Nothing else had to be said to get the boys going. They raced up the stairs and were gone in an instant, leaving me to walk through the doorway and close the door behind me with my mom watching me carefully.

“Listen, mom, I just drove fourteen hours with two children to get here, running off of minimal sleep. Can we talk about it in the morning?”

I knew she wanted to speak about it right at that very moment, but she understood that I was tired and put her hands up slowly with a nod of her head. She then lead me to the extra bedroom that had a large bed in the middle of it. My old room had been turned into a room for the boys, so I didn’t even get to sleep in there. I wasn’t complaining, though, in fact, I was thanking the heavens that I could maybe get a good nights sleep. I didn’t even change my clothes before laying down on the comfortable memory foam bed. I was out like a light in less than two seconds.