i have 500 hours in it for a reason

  • morning me: i really need to go to bed earlier :(
  • nighttime me: lmao @morning me fuKC YOUR nEEDS (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑
Revenge on a horrible boss that cost me 10K + a lot of self confidence.

(long story. tl;dr at the end)

Here I was, bright eyed and bushy tailed having just graduated college, looking for my first “professional” job. I took the first reasonable offer. It was a 3 month contract to hire position as an analyst.

How they said it would work: 3 months as a contractor no benefits at $15.5 an hour; I live in MD so we have a high cost of living, once the contract period ended I would get full benefits and a raise to $21 per hour. Ill spare you the details on the benefits, but basically an extra $500 per month in value.

The job started off awesome, worked daily with 10 other kids my age. My boss at the time was a hellva human being, the pinnacle of a boss. 1 month into my residency he left for greener pastures, leaving a void in the power structure, the “team lead” got promoted to manager, she was not the pinnacle of bosses or even a nice human being.

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This week’s tips post deals with money and money management, specifically budgeting and how to spend a refund check. In my business classes, I’ve learned a lot about how to manage money as well as about how taxes work. In another post, I will talk about tax brackets and how taxes work.

 I thought that for college students, this is very important because unless you actively go out of your way to learn these skills in high school, hardly anyone is going to teach you the fundamentals of taxation and money management. So I’m going to at least give you all a boost! 

Refunds:

My first tip is with regard to a refund check, whether it is a tax return check, or a college return (meaning that you have so much financial aid that you get the rest in the form of a check). A lot of students and other people will normally go out and spend their check on whatever they wanted during the year and couldn’t get. According to my textbook, it isn’t wise to spend on crazy items. However, it is wise to:

Have an amount from each paycheck deposited in a savings or investment accountuse the funds to reduce high-interest credit card debtMake contributions to retirement and college savings plans.

The problem with the third one is that a lot of us aren’t thinking about retirement; we’re barely getting through college! Nonetheless, it is still very wise to at least have control over the money you receive, and to create a budget for how to spend it!

Budgets:

Budgeting is great for when you have a regular income because then you won’t want to spend it all in one place. That seems to be a problem with American society - we spend too much without thinking or planning. The problem with budgeting, though, is that it seems to be REALLY daunting, and we don’t know how to properly budget money in a reasonable way. 

There are 7 steps to creating a budget:

  1. Set financial goals: These goals need to be SMART (specific, measurable, action-oriented, reasonable, and time-specific) and they can be tracked on Balance Sheets, in Cash Flow statements, and in budgets.
  2. Estimate your income: this is pretty easy. For example, in one week, working 40.75 hours, I made about $275. Double that, and I have just over $500 a paycheck, about $1000 per month (this amount includes taxes that are withheld by my employer).
  3. Budget an emergency fund: a lot of times, the biggest buster of budgets is LIFE – Listed expenses that are underestimated, Impulse buying, Forgotten bills, Emergencies. Always have at least some money set aside for when bad occasions arise. Generally, three months of income is good for an emergency budget.
  4. Budget fixed expenses: this includes any bills like mortgages, etc.
  5. Budget variable expenses: these are expenses that tend to change every money, including a food budget, water/electric bill, etc.
  6. Record spending amount: record how much money you actually spend in comparison to the amount of money you have budgeted for each category.
  7. Review spending and savings patterns, and revise if you need to.

Budgets can be daunting, but with these steps, you should be able to manage your money and still have room to enjoy yourself!

The Plateau

Every once in awhile I see individuals on weight loss journeys reminiscing about “the days” when they easily blew through 3 lbs in a week and how they only lost 1 lb this week. Absolutely no finger pointing, because I think a lot of people; even if just tangentially, have gotten a little wistful. Then comes the discussion, “Am I plateauing?

Only… Only? Are you really plateauing?

Hold up a second! Once upon a time, I also blew through 3 lbs a week with relative ease–at my starting weight. When I cut at my current weight, I consistently lose no more than about 1 lb per week. So. Let’s take my starting weight and an average loss of 3 lbs and my current weight and an average loss of 1 lb and crank out some percentages.

3/312 lbs = .0096% of my total body weight per week.
1/140 lbs = .0071% of my total body weight per week. 

So–OK. My overall rate of weight loss is a bit slower but it’s not a third! Think about that! It’s a third only in number, not in proportion. Many people beguile the “plateau” but let’s put everything in the correct perspective and understand why your rate of weight loss slows down and why it has to, even.

Simply put. Your rate of weight loss should slow down! Less mass requires less energy! Many individuals and tabloids out there will suggest that “stuff” is happening to your metabolism. It technically does slow down but not in the traditional, pernicious sense that sensationalized magazine covers and the Internet scrawls insipidly flip shit about. It slows down in the sense that at your lower weight your body expends less energy during activity (exercise) and requires less energy to maintain its mass (nutrition). You will not and cannot have the same metabolic rate as your starting weight.

When people start losing less weight each week, many feel a desire to hit that target again. However, once you get down to a certain weight you can no longer safely and consistently make the same deficits you did in the beginning.

Here are some basic TDEE calculations for my starting weight and my current weight, for reference I am 5’3” (160 cm).

2200 (BMR)/2600(sedentary TDEE)/3400(moderate exercise TDEE)
1350(BMR)/1600(sedentary TDEE)/2100(moderate exercise TDEE)

To lose three pounds a week, I’d need a total deficit of 1500 a day. At my high weight, this wasn’t too outrageous if I exercised that day. However, I think it’s easy to see why it’d be completely inadvisable to have that expectation at my current TDEE. I’d have to eat below my BMR and exercise for upwards of three hours to make the same deficit I had at over 300 lbs, and those are clearly both completely out of the question. It’s way, way more reasonable for me to make a daily deficit of 500 at most between my nutrition and exercise, and as already explained–there are no tears shed because 1 lb at my current weight still has a bit of bang for the buck! There are times where I frequently keep a 250 deficit because fueling my workouts and maintaining my muscle mass is just way, way more important to me as well.

So, now I pose the question, when you’re getting down in numbers is that really slow? I don’t think it is! Even at a -½ lb rate, I’m going to be ready for my next bulk cycle in just 10 weeks! That’s nothing!

You cannot compare starting weight with current weight! Safety and consistency are the keys to healthy and long-term weight loss. 

The way you lose weight has to be the way you plan to maintain that weight and live your life.

Something that can affect your overall TDEE negatively is losing too much muscle mass as part of your weight loss. If you are still considering gaming that deficit a little too hard, you are risking a loss of muscle tissue along with the losses of fat tissue. Muscle tissues are more metabolically active than adipose and a loss of muscle tissue will result in an overall lower TDEE. Don’t worry! Protein at every meal, weight bearing exercise, and a mild-to-moderate deficit can all help maintain more of that muscle tissue.

Feel like you’re plateauing? Re-calculate your TDEE. Nothing horrific is happening to your metabolism. If you do feel there might be a thyroid or hormonal disorder at play, consult with your doctor and avoid self-diagnosis. While these disorders are common, they aren’t the norm and they are also treatable. Most of the population exists within a small caloric range of each other (for their height).

Don’t fall for nonsense like cinnamon, lemons, vinegar, essential oils, or cayenne pepper concoctions. Many of these are really horrible for your teeth and esophagus when taken in an undiluted fashion, by the way! The effect they have is so minuscule that it really doesn’t matter and there is no magical tea or herb that will significantly and meaningfully speed up your metabolism. It’s all woo and it’s worth way more of your time to go on a walk.

  1. Re-Calculate your TDEE every now and again as you progress through your journey. While it is only a guideline, most people exist within a relatively small range of it. 
  2. Realize that while the losses are smaller in number, that they are proportionate to your new body weight. 
  3. Any loss regardless of your starting weight or current weight is progress.
  4. Less mass=less energy.
  5. Body composition matters. A lot. 
  6. Don’t overcomplicate the whole metabolism thing. Eat balanced meals and snacks regularly and exercise regularly. Don’t overthink it and save your money from scam products and grossly overstated claims.
  7. Vinegar is for salad.
  8. Help does exist if you think a hormonal disorder may be in effect. 
I have a monocular and I’m not afraid to use it °^°

Almost 500 hours into Bloodborne and this is the first time I see those 2 brooms hidden in a corner near the stash in the Hunter’s Dream.

The attention to detail in this game, man! Never ceases to amaze me. Reason why I equipped my monocular and began to snoop around. And here’s what I found: there are other books with titles written using the latin alphabet (aka: the one I’m currently typing in :P) beside How to Pick Up Fair Maidens. One reads ‘Alchemy’ (Vol.5), another is most likely something from Cicero  (or at least, his Bloodborne counterpart? ‘Cicer’?) and reads ‘de claris oratoribus‘ or something like that. There are also 2 dates: 1872 and 1(5?)41. The title of the white book could be a czech/german word… who knows.

I can’t get a clearer view because the textures appear blurred even on my huge ass tv. I wonder if books like these are to be found in Byrgenwerth or Micolash’s library as well…

Btw, whoever modelled these books is my hero. THEY LOOK SO FUCKING REAL. They probably used textures from actual old books but still… °_°

5

THANK YOU, GUYS.

I always said I’d do a giveaway once I reached my 500 milestone, so here we go. This one’s an all-Magneto prize pack, because hey, he is the reason I’m here in the first place. 

+ GUIDELINES +

- Likes and Reblogs both count. One of each per person, please!

- You do have to be following me, because this is a giveaway to show appreciation for my followers. 

- This giveaway will end on Tuesday, August 1st. 

- Winner will be notified via ask or IM, and will have 24 hours to respond before a new winner is chosen. 

- You must be comfortable giving me a mailing address, obviously, so I can send you your goodies!

+ WINNINGS +

One (1) winner will receive:

- Magneto Pop! bobble head keychain
- Magneto button pin/badge
- ‘Magneto Was Right’ / ‘Mutant and Proud’ sticker
- ‘ERIK NO’ sticker
- ‘We Are The Future’ / ‘Vote Magneto’ notecard. If you’re anything like me, it might end up pinned to a cork board or framed on your wall. 

Thank you all so much, and good luck!

The path to a perfect racing chocobo is a long, unnatural road

Other than “because it is there,” there’s little reason to level a racing chocobo. It’s a very good source of MGP, but there are easier ways to make it. There are a few titles and a set of barding that come from it, but the number of hours you have to put towards doing it are insane. 

That being said, if you’re interested in getting a perfect chocobo, here’s some info on the process.

First, what’s a perfect chocobo? A G9 (generation 9+) bird with perfect stats, the stars:

That means your attributes will have a cap of 500:

I just hatched this bird this evening, so he’s not leveled at all yet.

Generations 1-9 are easy. You have your starting bird, level it up to 40, retire it, buy a breeding card from the NPC in the racing area, then go to Bentbranch and breed it.

Take that bird, level it up to 40, retire it…  Repeat nine times.

When you have a G9 bird, then the work really starts. Now you take your two best hatchlings from each breeding, level both up to 40, then breed them.  Each breeding chocobo pair makes a max of 10 hatchlings.

Take the best two hatchlings from that breeding, level both up to 40, breed them… etc.

Yes, incest. Yes, a hell of a lot of incest. After G9, you will only ever breed brother to sister. Somehow this makes a better bird.  #gamelogic

In my case, I got the perfect bird on the 21st generation. That means I leveled 33 birds to level 40. Leveling one bird to 40 takes many hours…

(In truth, my bird is only 95% perfect. The best Preferred Weather is rain, and mine has fair. However I just cannot bring myself to level two more birds to max and maybe not even get a perfect stats bird out of it, let alone the right weather. In my 10 final breedings, I had only 1 with perfect stats.)

I made almost a million MGP leveling up my bird. I have three racing challenges left to do, which will gain me 150K more MGP… not that I really needed it.

By the time I finish leveling this last bird, I’ll have completed these achievement/title:

And I earned this mask along the way as well:

Fun fact: Every chocobo I raised, all 33 of them, had Something Biscuit names. I was going to name this last one either Biscuit or Biscuit Biscuit, but Alpha Biscuit seemed best.

If you have any questions, feel free to comment/send me an ask. I don’t consider myself an expert on chocobo racing, but there’s so little information out there about it, sometimes every resource helps.

Habits of My Heart

Hey Guys! I’ve been inspired to write a little James and Sharna fanfic after reading some amazing ones! I hope you guys enjoy because I rarely ever share my writing. Anyway, I’ll be tagging the first few chapters, but later on I know I’m gonna get lazy! Let me know what you think!


Chapter 1.

It’d been a long day of rehearsals and, well, damage control for the whole ordeal she decided to coin, “hand-gate.” As if the rumors of their non-existent relationship wasn’t enough to deal with; now, the press had something to feast on and, to her dismay, mention in every interview they did.

She fell onto her couch and laid her head back, aimlessly petting Duke, who had decided that she needed a little cheering up from all the chaos. Lost in her thoughts, she decided to come up with a set of answers for her partner to regurgitate to the press because who was she kidding? Growing up on a ranch, he wasn’t used to being in the spotlight and, even though the incident was an honest mistake, would inadvertently make matters worse if she didn’t give him somewhat of a guideline on what to say to interviewers.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing, and she was this close to simply hitting decline until she saw the name on the caller ID. It was 11:30, not that she was remotely close to going to sleep, but it still took her by surprise that he’d be calling her at all, given his busy schedule. “James?”

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Unbranded Laptop

My brother moved out of the house back in 2002 once he got his job as a computer technician, and he recently went missing. When I went to his house, it was locked, with 3 sheets of printer paper taped to the front door.

While coming home from work one day, I noticed someone had left their damaged grey laptop laying in the middle of my driveway. I got out of my car to examine it more carefully.

The LCD definitely showed signs of user related damage. There was a large hole on the left side of the screen that appeared to fit a standard Phillips Head screwdriver perfectly. There was a webcam above the display, and it was also destroyed with the same screwdriver. Other than those, everything else on the computer showed minor signs of wear. Almost all of the keyboard’s keys were faded, but not to the extent that the laptop could be considered unusable. I looked at the back of the display to find out what brand it is, but I couldn’t find anything. I looked at the entire laptop’s shell, but there was no text or logo stating what brand it was. In fact, there was no warranty sticker, no “Proof of license” sticker on the bottom, no text whatsoever. What was even more odd was the fact that the only ports on the laptop were a VGA port for connecting an external display and a USB port. How long could this laptop have possibly run without a charging port to recharge the battery? It must have been a very low end laptop where you had to remove the battery pack and put it into its own charging dock. Why did it have a web cam, though?

Curious as to what was on the laptop, I ran inside to my basement where my old desktop was currently being stored. The reason it was down there was because I forgot to bring that behemoth to the local SarCan to recycle it. I would have been using it as my regular computer, but it takes 5 or 6 hours to fully boot because the system always goes through recovery mode every time you start it, and the processor is way too slow to “recover” everything on the 500 GB hard drive I had installed on it [A 120mhz Pentium processor doesn’t get you far]. I removed the old LG CRT monitor from the desktop and plugged it into the laptop. I went to push the power button when…

…I stopped. There’s no way this is going to work, the battery has to be dead by now.

I rummaged around the basement to find my battery voltage tester and immediately withdrew the battery from the laptop and checked the voltage. Lo and behold, it had no charge. Well, I thought, might as well just leave it and take everything to SarCan tomorrow morning. With that, I unplugged the display from the laptop, put it back into the desktop and simply left everything downstairs. After leaving the basement I went to go watch TV for about 3 hours or so before going to bed.

I was suddenly awakened from my deep slumber by the sound of the Windows 2000 start up jingle, and fell out of my bed. It was so deafeningly loud, I swore someone was holding a pair of speakers right next to my ears. I stood up in a groggy daze, and it took a couple of minutes to figure out what the sound was. The desktop! I must have accidentally hit the power switch while trying to switch monitors! I headed to the basement, but froze in the middle of the steps. I just remembered there was no way my computer could have started up, because I have Windows 95 installed on my desktop. I was reluctant to go down the steps after that, but my common sense started kicking in and I thought I must be getting my OS’s mixed up. When I walked down, I was shocked to see that my desktop wasn’t on; in fact, I remembered it wasn’t even plugged in. I had to make sure of it though. I checked behind the desktop - everything else was plugged in except for the tower. There was absolutely no chance of that laptop turning on, it was impossible. I removed the battery from the laptop again and re-checked the voltage.

This time, I couldn’t get a direct number. The voltage tester was just going insane.

I re-inserted the battery and pressed the power button on the laptop. Some indicator lights flashed, meaning the computer definitely started, except this time the start up jingle wasn’t played at all. I needed to see what was going on here. I connected the CRT monitor back into the laptop. And what I saw…

… was a bare desktop with 3 icons in the corner. The task bar was empty, and there was no Start menu button.

The wallpaper was black. Why would anyone do this to their desktop? Anyone could remove all the icons, but they had to be pretty skilled hackers to remove the Start Menu button. Of the 3 icons, one was a Games folder, one was a Videos folder, and the last was the DOS Command Prompt program. Maybe this was a kids’ laptop? Clicking on the Games folder confirmed my suspicions; a little girl must have owned this laptop. I felt some remorse for the poor girl because there was only 1 game in the folder. The program name was “princess.exe”. I clicked on it just to see what the game was like. A fully animated title screen came up, with various generic fairytale princesses twirling across the screen, and then the logo flew down with a bunch of sparkly doves holding it. The game was called “Princess Creator: Make yourself Beautiful!” Ah, so it must have been one of those low budget “put .png of various clothing items onto a photo of yourself” games. I was right, as the menu popped up I was given the option to “Dress up” or to “View pretty pictures”. I wanted to see what the girl looked like, so I clicked on the 2nd option. She had to have been no more than 5, and on top of that she looked very cute. She was of either Mexican or Spanish origin. She wore a somewhat tattered white dress with small red frills around the sleeves and collar. It had small roses on it. I smiled, as she looked like she had a lot of fun putting a virtual tiara on her head. However, browsing through the photos, about halfway through, there were pictures of a room with nothing else but a bed inside. She must’ve been dodging the camera for the hell of it, I guess.

After that I felt I’d seen enough with that program, and might as well go see the other 2 files on the laptop. I decided to go into the Command Prompt to see if I could locate any other files on the hard drive. I simply got a “:\>_” line with no drive letter. Okay, this is really strange, I thought. I typed into the command box “start C:" to see if I could open the directory I wanted to explore. I pressed enter, and DOS simply replied ” ‘start’ is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.“ After a few seconds, the program crashed, bringing me back to the desktop. So I guess the last thing to look at is the videos. I double clicked the folder…

… and the screen faded to black. I thought it had crashed, but I noticed that there was a small ”_“ flashing in the top left corner.

Suddenly, the text "start :\>videos\001.wmv” flashed briefly, then a video appeared in full screen. It was the girl again. This time, she was smiling, bouncing slightly in excitement. Her happiness made my heart feel warm. My guess was that she must’ve been recording herself play the dress up game with the webcam. At first she was simply moving her finger across the track pad, clicking, then giggling excitedly for a bit. She must’ve been laughing at the things she put on herself in the game. After about 2 minutes or so, the screen would cut to black for a fraction of a second and then return to the girl playing the game. This time, however, she was dressed differently, in a simple pink t-shirt with the words “Go Go Girl!” stitched in glitter. I guessed the game was recording her every time she started it, without her knowing. That made me sort of uneasy - I mean, why would anyone program a game to do that? Whatever, I guessed it was going to be the same sort of thing over and over with the video, so I might as well turn off the computer. I reached over and pressed the power button, and…

… It didn’t shut off this time. The video continued to play, and I saw the girl this time was wearing an orange tank top with nothing on it. She was smiling and giggling as usual, and I thought maybe I could turn off the computer after the video is done. It couldn’t be that long. The video seemed to drag on, with more cuts of her playing the game in a different outfit, and I started to doze off. However, after the next cut in the video…

The girl was just staring at the camera with an expressionless look on her face. Wondering what the hell was going on, I become interested in the video again. This one didn’t make me smile. It made me extremely uneasy to watch her without her usual smiley face on. It was dark in the room, but there was 1 desk light on at the side. She was in some sort of night wear. What was she going to do? She sat there for a minute with that blank expression, like she wasn’t thinking at all. I started to get really tense, as if something awful was about to happen.

She bent over and picked up a hand saw from the left side of where she was sitting. She held it in front of her, showing it to the camera. Then, she placed the jagged blade on the side of her cheek. I cringed at what I was seeing. Slowly, she began slicing into her right cheek. Blood drizzled down her neck as she did it. Slowly, the side of her teeth began to show after about 10 seconds. As the saw went lower on her face, more of her teeth began to show on the side. Blood covered almost the entire right side of her face. She eventually got to the bottom of her jaw bone, and sawed a tiny piece off of it too. Her cheek fell to the ground with a small thud, and she put the saw in her lap and continued to stare at the camera, emotionless. I couldn’t take much more of this and tore the battery out of the laptop - but the video continued to play.

Then, the next cut began. The girl screamed in extreme pain. I almost fell out of my seat, it was so loud. She screamed, and put her hands over her now absent cheek. She continued to scream in agony for about 10 seconds, then a knocking was heard from the side. It was a woman, yelling in a language I couldn’t understand. She was pounding the door, but not opening it. The girl must have locked it. I tried to unplug the monitor from the laptop but it was stuck in. I didn’t want to see what happens next! The screaming and the yelling continued up until the next cut.

She was back in her emotionless state again, but her cheek was still missing. The woman at the door was pounding and yelling still. It must have been her mother. The girl then raised the saw up to her right shoulder, and began cutting just as slowly as last time. I gagged at the sight of this. It was a holocaust of wrong. The blood began to stream out in all directions. The yelling behind the door fell silent. I guessed the other woman was trying to get someone to help her, either the father or brother or what not. When she hit the bone, an awful grinding noise could be heard. I covered my ears, but I could still hear it vividly through my hands. I noticed that a piece of her muscle got stuck on one of the steel teeth of the saw. This cut ended a lot faster than before, and the next cut was the same thing except the color from her face was draining, and her pain ridden screams became quickly weaker. Her clothing was completely red with blood on the right side.

Then, she became emotionless again. Oh god, what is she going to cut off next? The mother returned with what sounded like 2 other people, and they were all yelling in the same language as before. She raised the saw, and began cutting the right side of her head off. Loud thuds were sounding at the door. They were trying to knock it down. She continued to work her way down, with blood going in all sorts of directions. The thuds still repeated themselves on the door. I was mostly confused as to how she kept going, even after she went through her brain with the saw. Her right eye rolled into the back of her head. Blood began leaking out of it. She eventually made it to the top of her mouth, where she hacked her way through bones and teeth. It was the single worst sound I have ever heard in my entire life. I still hear it in the back of my head some days. The thuds continued, and deep in the back of my mind I hoped they wouldn’t be able to break the door down so they wouldn’t have to see such an awful sight. She finally made it through, and with that, the right side of her head fell to the side of her neck, held on only by a piece of skin. I remember the chilling sound of her jaw being unhinged when it was tugged violently by the force of the top half of her head. She put the saw down to her side.

The cut ended, and in the next cut, she simply fell face down onto the desk. Half her brain fell out onto the desk on impact, and her eye popped out of its socket. Blood pooled on the desk. The people trying to break down the door finally made it in, and they were hysterical at what they saw. Their daughter was in pieces. The mother vomited and ran out of the room. The father ran to the daughter, put her head back together and cried, holding her head at the side of his. The other man, presumably the girl’s older brother, simply stared in horror at what he saw.

The horrifying self mutilation finished with that cut, and the screen cut back to the empty room with the bed. With a sigh of relief that it was over I sat there, breathing heavily and sweating. I didn’t realize that the room was so hot until now. I had so many questions to ask. How was all this possible? It frightened me, and I spent a good 30 minutes sitting in the chair, and finally, I got the courage to get up. I looked back at the laptop for what I hoped was the last time. The room with the bed glared on the screen. Then, it cut to something else.

It was a cut of my face, in the basement, using the laptop.

Tagged by @beefcakemish. Thank you!! <3

Name - If you really want to know, you can always PM me. :)

Nickname - none

Gender - Agender

Star sign - Gemini

Height - 5'6″

Sexuality - Asexual

Hogwarts House - Huffleclaw

Current Time - 2030

Average hours of sleep - 4-9? It really depends on the day lol

Dogs or cats? I like both! But I don’t have any pets currently. 

Fact about myself- I once spent three weeks in Australia

Number of blankets - ALL THE BLANKETS!!!!

Dream Trip - Seattle/Pacific Northwest

Reason for url - Football + Castiel :D

Dream job - I went to school to be a strength and conditioning coach, but honestly, I love what I’m doing right now, even if it’s no where near the same field.

When i made this blog - loooooong time ago

Followers - a little over 500 (thank you to all of you!)

Why I made this blog- I originally signed up just to follow some MCU stuff, but then I got hooked on Supernatural and Misha/Cas. 

Tagging my fellow koalas @helianthus21 and @saawek :P also tagging @gneisscastiel and @kay-cas19 (if you want to!!!)

Bonus pic of J2M with pumpkins:

anonymous asked:

Your post while being drunk was stupid seriously it's not that deep what Dan does lmao

well hello to you too, and thanks for this message!! :) first of all i’d like to say that you are welcome to disagree with anything and everything i post on my blog (and that is probably doubly true for things i post while drunk on my blog,) however i just ask that you do so in a respectful way. calling my words stupid is completely different from messaging me and saying “hm i think you might be over-exaggerating this for x, y, z reasons” or “i think you’re extending your interpretation of things a bit too far bc of…etc.” i don’t mean to sound condescending as i’m sure you didn’t intend any harm, but please try and keep your messages kind and respectful where you can!

that being said, i have to disagree with your sentiment. i mean i was v drunk and therefore obviously exaggerating a bit - as you can probs tell from my abundant usage of “fuck” and all caps.  but even so i think it is entirely “that deep” because dan is a person who doesn’t do anything at all in the public sphere without thinking about it for like 500 hours beforehand. he talks about that over and over again in live shows, about the reason he tweets so sparsely and sometimes doesn’t know what to post to instagram. that’s even more true for his main channel, where he has said himself that he feels an enormous pressure to make his videos as close to perfect as he can. this is important. it means that he has likely thought extensively about the consequences of: 

  1. voicing attraction to boys (see: the anime video, the anime recs video, and internet support group 7 for examples)
  2. talking about phil repeatedly and with no lead up or introduction, and in a way that is perfectly ambiguous about their relationship (see: the anime video, the anime recs video, the tour trailer, the memes of 2015 video, and the awk fancy meal w louise video), and
  3. alluding to his lack of traditional “masculinity” and the general stupidity of gender roles (see: the awk meal w louise video, the baby videos video, and the decision to make boys vs. girl private.) 

- all on his main channels. dan makes every decision with careful thought. he’s obviously thought about what these comments mean to him, and how they reflect who he is. couple that with this latest instagram, his questionable tweets, some of them about boys, his new fondness for posting shit about phil and yelling “DOMESTIC” at us after he does, and both dnp’s lack of regard for what it looked like back in january when they went on all those dates (to movies, to the theater, to hang with not just one but two out couples for a weekend,) and you have a brilliantly subtle yet undoubtedly REAL shift in the way that dan howell is deciding to present himself online. 

even if you don’t believe any of this, then i have three things left to offer you. first, he must see how people are reacting to all of this stuff. and he continues to do it anyway. that either makes it deliberate or it makes him a dick and i really don’t believe he is. second, it is such a stark departure from how he was a few years ago, and that is unequivocally cause for excitement and celebration. even if you don’t think all of these things this year are a big change from how he’s been last year or in 2014, for example, you must see how he’s developed since 2011/2012 and how much more comfortable he is with being himself. i mean if you really can’t see the difference between someone who at one point was too afraid to say “that guy is good looking” without following it with “no homo” and the dan of today, i really can’t help you. 

lastly, and arguably most importantly, is the impact dan’s actions have been having on his viewers and followers. dan makes me feel safe and comfortable with embracing who i am, makes me feel less alone in struggling to label myself and my sexuality publicly. dan makes me feel comfortable with just BEING, with existing, and embracing everything i like and not feeling like i owe anyone any explanations or political statements for my identity to be valid. and i am far from the only one. just look at some of the reblogs on that drunk post. and look at all the other posts people have been writing that echo these sentiments. quite simply, the things dan decides to do, the way he decides to embrace himself with confidence, is the most important thing because of how much it means to people who look up to him. and it’s not because i’m blindly adoring or young and impressionable either. i’m a 21 year old woman, i just received high honors on my senior thesis in uni, i study neuroscience and social theory, i love philosophy, and dan howell makes me feel brave. i hope this makes sense to you anon, i hope you see that, yes, it really is “that deep,” and mostly i hope that you have a wonderful day <3 

$400

That is the total cost of getting a concealed-carry permit in my state (Illinois).

$250 for a 16-hour course (which I will tell you now, I can teach in about an hour), plus a $150, non-refundable “application fee.”

Both of these fees are non-refundable, and do not guarantee that I will be allowed to CC a firearm, subject to a closed review by state police. I am not allowed to appeal, to receive a reason why or inquire as to why, if I am denied.

I am also forced to wait 2-6 months due to no other reason than bureaucracy.

If you include the time I’m wasting at the 16-hour course, using my normal going rate, that’s another $300.

Then I have to pay a FFL for a transfer ($30, thankfully since I know a nicer gentleman who runs a FFL out of his home; normally this is more like $45) as well as shipping, since legislation has destroyed competition in the market, and thereby raised local prices. 

Since I’ll want a pistol that’s relatively reliable, I’ll end up spending about $300-500 minimum on a pistol, not including holster, self defense ammo, and range time.

A minimum of $1000 to be able to legally defend myself; $400 of which is literally just paperwork, and the kicker; I can’t legally concealed carry if I take any trains, public transport, or go almost anywhere in the city. 

I also am not legally allowed to utilize a laser-sight (which would improve my per-shot accuracy and ability to be accurate under stress) on my concealed pistol.

I implore anyone, if they can, to explain to me how any of the above is reasonable.

I was tagged by @my-fight-tobe-forever-fit 

Rules - tag 15 followers you’d like to get to know

Nicknames - Timbo

Gender - Male

Star sign - Taurus

Height - 5’11

Sexuality - more and more spectacular every day

Hogwarts house - Gryffindor

Favorite animal - Owls

Average hours spent sleeping - ~6

Dogs or cats - Dogs

Number of blankets - 1  

Dream trip - Greece Iceland outer space

Dream job - Still loving what I do, just would like to do more of the actual hands on detailing - that I kind of miss

When I made this account - Springish of this year

Why I made this account  - Lots of reasons, primarily to re-connect with people I met from my first blog

# of followers - Forgot to double check this one something between 500 and 600

Thanks for the tag Rebecca, I have done this a few times now and cannot remember who has been tagged or not so leaving this open to anyone who wants to do it.

4 Terrifying Short Stories You Should Read Alone In The Dark

Trust me, they’re well worth the read.

1. Wristbands
When you are admitted to a hospital, they place on your wrist a white wristband with your name on it. But there are other different colored wristbands which symbolize other things. The red wristbands are placed on dead people.

There was one surgeon who worked on night shift in a school hospital. He had just finished an operation and was on his way down to the basement. He entered the elevator and there was just one other person there. He casually chatted with the woman while the elevator descended. When the elevator door opened, another woman was about to enter when the doctor slammed the close button and punched the button to the highest floor. Surprised, the woman reprimanded the doctor for being rude and asked why he did not let the other woman in.

The doctor said, “That was the woman I just operated on. She died while I was doing the operation. Didn’t you see the red wristband she was wearing?”

The woman smiled, raised her arm, and said, “Something like this?”

2. The Unbranded Laptop
My brother moved out of the house back in 2002 once he got his job as a Computer technician, and he recently went missing. When I went to his house, it was locked, with 3 sheets of printer paper taped to the front door.

“While coming home from work one day, I noticed someone had left their damaged grey laptop laying in the middle of my driveway one day. I got out of my car to examine it more carefully.

The LCD definitely showed signs of user related damage, as there was a large hole on the left side of the screen that fit a standard Phillips Head screwdriver perfectly. There was a webcam above the display as well, and it was also destroyed with the same screwdriver. Other than those, however, everything else on the computer showed minor signs of wear, like almost all of the keyboards keys were faded, but nothing to the extent that it could be considered unusable. I looked at the back of the display to find out what brand it is, and yet, I couldn’t find anything. I looked at the entire laptop’s shell and there was no text or logo stating what brand it is. In fact, there was no warranty sticker, no “Proof of licence” sticker on the bottom, no text whatsoever. What’s even more odd was the fact that the only ports on the laptop was a VGA port for connecting an external display and a USB port. How long could this laptop have possibly run without a charging port to recharge the battery? It must have been a very low end laptop where you had to remove the battery pack and put it into it’s own charging dock. Why did it exactly have a web cam, though?

Curious as to what exactly is on the laptop, I ran inside to my basement where my old desktop was currently being stored. The only reason it was down there was because I forgot to bring that behemoth to the local SarCan to recycle it. I would have been currently using it as my regular computer, but it takes 5 or 6 hours to fully boot because the system always goes through recovery mode every time you start it, and the processor is way to slow to “recover” everything on the 500 gb hard drive I had installed on it (A 120mhz Pentium processor doesn’t get you far). Well, anyways, I removed the old LG CRT monitor from the desktop and plugged it into the laptop. I went to push the power button when…

… I stopped. There’s no way this is going to work, the battery has to be dead by now.

I rummaged around the basement to find my battery voltage tester and immediately withdrew the battery from the laptop and checked the voltage. Low and behold, it had no charge. Well, might as well just leave it down here, I’ll bring all of this computer junk to SarCan tomorrow morning. With that, I unplugged the display from the laptop, put it back into the desktop and simply left everything downstairs. After leaving the basement I went to go watch TV for about 3 hours or so before going to bed.

I was suddenly awakened from my deep slumber by the sound of the Windows 2000 start up jingle and fell out of my bed. It was so deafeningly loud I swore someone was holding a pair of speakers right next to my ears. After I fell out of the bed, I stood up in a groggy daze, and for a minute or so trying to figure out what that sound was. The desktop! I must have accidentally hit the power switch while trying to switch monitors! I simply walked to the basement, but froze in the middle of the steps. I just remembered there was no way my computer could have started up, because I have Windows 95 installed on my desktop. I was reluctant to go down the steps after that, but my common sense started kicking in and I thought I must be getting my OS’s mixed up. When I walked down, I was shocked to see that my desktop wasn’t on; in fact, I remembered it wasn’t even plugged in. I had to make sure of it though. I checked behind the desktop and everything else was plugged in except for the tower. There’s absolutely no chance of that laptop turning on, that’s impossible. I removed the battery from the laptop again and re-checked the voltage.

This time, I couldn’t get a direct number. The voltage tester was just going insane.

I re-inserted the battery pressed the power button on the laptop. Some indicator lights flashed, meaning the computer definitely started, except this time the start up jingle wasn’t played at all. I need to see what’s going on here. I connected the CRT monitor back into the laptop. And what I saw…

… Was a bare desktop with 3 icons in the corner. The task bar was empty, and there was no Start menu button.

The wallpaper was black. Why would anyone do this to their desktop? Anyone could remove all the icons, but they must be pretty skilled hackers to remove the Start Menu button. Of all the 3 icons, 1 was a Games folder, 1 was a Videos folder, and the last was the DOS Command Prompt program. Maybe this was a kids laptop. Clicking on the Games folder confirmed my suspicions; it was a little girl who must have owned this laptop. I felt some remorse for the poor girl because there was only 1 game in the folder, and I have no idea what the hell it was. The program name was “princess.exe”. I clicked on it just to see what the game was like. A fully animated title screen came up, with various generic fairytale princesses twirling across the screen and the logo flew down with a bunch of sparkly doves holding it. The game was called “Princess Creator: Make yourself Beautiful!” Ah, so it must have been one of those low budget “put .jpgs of various clothing items onto a photo of yourself” games. Well, I was right, as the menu popped up I was given the option to “Dress up” or to “View pretty pictures”. I wanted to see what the girl looked like, so I clicked on the 2nd option. She had to have been no more than 5, and on top of that she looked very cute. She was of either Mexican or Spanish origin. She wore a somewhat tattered white dress with small red frills around the sleeves and collar. It had small roses on it. I smiled, as she looked like she had a lot of fun putting a virtual tiara on her head. However, browsing through the photos, about halfway through, there are pictures of a room with nothing else but a bed inside. She must’ve been dodging the camera for the hell of it, I guess. After that I felt I’ve seen enough with that program, might as well go see the other 2 files on the laptop. I decided to go into the Command Prompt and see if I could locate any other files on the hard drive.

I simply got a “:\>_” line with no drive letter. Ok, this is really strange, I thought. I typed into the command box “start C:\” to see if I could open the directory I wanted to explore. I pressed enter, and DOS simply gave me the “‘start’ is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.” After a few seconds, the program crashed, bringing me back to the desktop. So I guess the last thing to look at is the videos. As I double clicked the folder…

… The screen faded to black. I thought it had crashed, but I noticed that there was a small “_” flashing in the top left corner.

Suddenly, the text “start :\>videos01.wmv” flashed briefly, then a video appeared in full screen. It was the girl again. This time, she was smiling, bouncing slightly in excitement. Her happiness made my heart feel warm. My guess was that she must’ve been recording herself play the dress up game with the webcam. At first she was simply moving her finger across the track pad, clicking, then giggling excitedly for a bit. She must’ve been laughing at the things she put on herself in the game. After about 2 minutes or so the screen would cut to black for a fraction of a second and it would return to the girl playing the game. This time, however, she was dressed differently, in a simple pink t-shirt with the words “Go Go Girl!” stitched in glitter. I guess the game would simply record her every time she started it, without her knowing. That made me sort of uneasy, I mean, why would anyone program a game to do that? Whatever, I think it’s going to be the same sort of thing over and over with this video, I might as well turn off the computer. I reached over and pressed the power button, and…

… It didn’t shut off this time. The video continued to play, and I saw the girl this time was wearing an orange tank top with nothing on it. She was smiling and giggling as usual, so I thought maybe I can turn off the computer after the video is done. It couldn’t be that long. The video seemed to drag on, with more cuts of her playing the game in a different outfit, and I started to doze off. However, the next cut in the video…

The girl was just staring at the camera with an expressionless look on her face. Wondering what the hell is going on, I become interested in the video again. This one didn’t made me smile. It made me extremely uneasy, watching her without her usual smiley face put on. It was dark in the room, and there was 1 desk light on at the side. She was in some sort of night wear. What is she going to do? She sat there for a minute with that blank expression, like she wasn’t thinking at all. I started to get really tense, as if something awful was about to happen.

She bent over and picked up a hand saw from the left side of where she was sitting. She held it in front of her, showing it to the camera. Then, she placed the jagged blade on the side of her cheek. I cringed at what I was seeing. What the fuck is going on? Slowly, she began slicing into her right cheek. Blood drizzled down her neck as she did it. Slowly, the side of her teeth began to show after about 10 seconds, as the saw went lower down her face more of her teeth began to show on the side. Blood almost covered everything on the right side of her face. She eventually got to the bottom of her jaw bone, and sawed a tiny piece off of it too. Her cheek fell to the ground with a small thud, and she put the saw in her lap and continued to stare at the camera, emotionless. I couldn’t take much more of this and tore the battery out of the laptop, but, the video continued to play.

Then, the next cut began. The girl screamed in extreme pain. I almost fell out of my seat it was so loud. She screamed and put her hands over her now absent cheek. She continued to scream in agony for about 10 seconds, then a knocking was heard from the side. It was a woman, yelling in a language I couldn’t understand. She was pounding the door, but not opening it. The girl must have locked it. I tried to unplug the monitor from the laptop but it was stuck in. I didn’t want to see what happens next! The screaming continued and the yelling continued up until the next cut.

She was back into her emotionless state again, but her cheek was still missing. The woman was pounding at the door and yelling still. That woman must be her mother. The girl then raised the saw up to her right shoulder, and began cutting just as slowly as last time. I gagged at the sight of this. It was a holocaust of wrong. The blood began to stream out in all directions. The yelling behind the door fell silent. I bet she’s trying to get someone to help her, either the father or brother or what not. When she hit the bone, an awful grinding noise could be heard. I covered my ears, but I could still hear it vividly through my hands. I noticed that a piece of her muscle got stuck on one of the steel teeth of the saw. This cut ended a lot faster than before, and the next cut was the same thing. Except the color from her face began to drain, and her pain ridden screams became quickly weaker. Her clothing was completely red with blood on the right side.
Then, she became emotionless again. Oh god, what is she going to cut off next? The mother returned back with what seemed to be 2 other people, and they were all yelling in the same language as before. She raised the saw, and began cutting the right side of her head off. Loud thuds appeared in beat at the door. They were trying to knock it down. She slowly worked her way down, with blood going in all sorts of directions. The thuds still repeated themselves on the door. I was mostly confused as to how she keeps going even after she went through her brain with the saw. Her right eye rolled into the back of her head. Blood began leaking out of it. She eventually made it to the top of her mouth, where she hacked her way through bones and teeth. It was the single worst sound I have ever heard in my entire life. I still hear it in the back of my head some days. The thuds continued, and deep in the back of my mind I hoped they wouldn’t be able to break the door down so they didn’t have to see such an awful sight. She finally made it through, and with that, the right side of her head fell to the side of her neck, held on only by a piece of skin on her neck. I remember the chilling sound of her jaw being unhinged from her head when it was tugged violently by the force of her half head. She put the saw down to her side.

The cut ended, and the next cut, she simply fell face down onto the desk. Half her brain fell out onto the desk from the impact, and her eye was removed from it’s socket. Blood pooled on the desk. The people trying to break down the door finally made it in, and they almost blacked out from what they saw. Their daughter was in pieces. The mother vomited and ran out of the room. The father ran to her daughter, put her head back together and cried, holding her head at the side of his. The other man, presumably the daughter’s older brother, simply stared in horror at what he saw.

The horrifying self mutilation finished with that cut, and the screen cut to the empty room with the bed. With a sigh of relief that it was over, I just sat there, breathing heavily and sweating. I didn’t realize that the room was so hot until now. I have so many questions to ask. How was it possible? It frightened me, and I spent a good 30 minutes sitting in the chair, and finally, I got the courage to get up out of the seat. I looked at the laptop for what I hoped was the last time. The room with the bed glared on the screen. Then, it cut to something else unexpectedly.

It was a cut of my face, in the basement, using the laptop.

3. Squidward’s Suicide
I just want to start off by saying if you want an answer at the end, prepare to be disappointed. There just isn’t one.

I was an intern at Nickelodeon Studios for a year in 2005 for my degree in animation. It wasn’t paid of course, most internships aren’t, but it did have some perks beyond education. To adults it might not seem like a big one, but most kids at the time would go crazy over it.

Now, since I worked directly with the editors and animators, I got to view the new episodes days before they aired. I’ll get right to it without giving too many unnecessary details. They had very recently made the SpongeBob movie and the entire staff was somewhat sapped of creativity so it took them longer to start up the season. But the delay lasted longer for more upsetting reasons. There was a problem with the series 4 premiere that set everyone and everything back for several months.

Me and two other interns were in the editing room along with the lead animators and sound editors for the final cut. We received the copy that was supposed to be “Fear of a Krabby Patty” and gathered around the screen to watch. Now, given that it isn’t final yet animators often put up a mock title card, sort of an inside joke for us, with phony, often times lewd titles, such as “How sex doesn’t work” instead of “Rock-a-bye-Bivalve” when SpongeBob and Patrick adopt a sea scallop. Nothing particularly funny but work related chuckles. So when we saw the title card “Squidward’s Suicide” we didn’t think it more than a morbid joke.

One of the interns did a small throat laugh at it. The happy-go-lucky music plays as is normal. The story began with Squidward practicing his clarinet, hitting a few sour notes like normal. We hear SpongeBob laughing outside and Squidward stops, yelling at him to keep it down as he has a concert that night and needs to practice. SpongeBob says okay and goes to see Sandy with Patrick. The bubbles splash screen comes up and we see the ending of Squidward’s concert. This is when things began to seem off.

While playing, a few frames repeat themselves, but the sound doesn’t (at this point sound is synced up with animation, so, yes, that’s not common) but when he stops playing, the sound finishes as if the skip never happened. There is slight murmuring in the crowd before they begin to boo him. Not normal cartoon booing that is common in the show, but you could very clearly hear malice in it. Squidward’s in full frame and looks visibly afraid. The shot goes to the crowd, with SpongeBob in center frame, and he too is booing, very much unlike him. That isn’t the oddest thing, though. What is odd is everyone had hyper realistic eyes. Very detailed. Clearly not shots of real people’s eyes, but something a bit more real than CGI. The pupils were red. Some of us looked at each other, obviously confused, but since we weren’t the writers, we didn’t question its appeal to children yet.

The shot goes to Squidward sitting on the edge of his bed, looking very forlorn. The view out of his porthole window is of a night sky so it isn’t very long after the concert. The unsettling part is at this point there is no sound. Literally no sound. Not even the feedback from the speakers in the room. It’s as if the speakers were turned off, though their status showed them working perfectly. He just sat there, blinking, in this silence for about 30 seconds, then he started to sob softly. He put his hands (tentacles) over his eyes and cried quietly for a full minute more, all the while a sound in the background very slowly growing from nothing to barely audible. It sounded like a slight breeze through a forest.

The screen slowly begins to zoom in on his face. By slow I mean it’s only noticeable if you look at shots 10 seconds apart side by side. His sobbing gets louder, more full of hurt and anger. The screen then twitches a bit, as if it twists in on itself, for a split second then back to normal. The wind-through-the-trees sound gets slowly louder and more severe, as if a storm is brewing somewhere. The eerie part is this sound, and Squidward’s sobbing, sounded real, as if the sound wasn’t coming from the speakers but as if the speakers were holes the sound was coming through from the other side. As good as sound as the studio likes to have, they don’t purchase the equipment to be that good to produce sound of that quality.

Below the sound of the wind and sobbing, very faint, something sounded like laughing. It came at odd intervals and never lasted more than a second so you had a hard time pinning it (we watched this show twice, so pardon me if things sound too specific but I’ve had time to think about them). After 30 seconds of this, the screen blurred and twitched violently and something flashed over the screen, as if a single frame was replaced.

The lead animation editor paused and rewound frame by frame. What we saw was horrible. It was a still photo of a dead child. He couldn’t have been more than 6. The face was mangled and bloodied, one eye dangling over his upturned face, popped. He was naked down to his underwear, his stomach crudely cut open and his entrails laying beside him. He was laying on some pavement that was probably a road.

The most upsetting part was that there was a shadow of the photographer. There was no crime tape, no evidence tags or markers, and the angle was completely off for a shot designed to be evidence. It would seem the photographer was the person responsible for the child’s death. We were of course mortified, but pressed on, hoping that it was just a sick joke.

The screen flipped back to Squidward, still sobbing, louder than before, and half body in frame. There was now what appeard to be blood running down his face from his eyes. The blood was also done in a hyper realistic style, looking as if you touched it you’d get blood on your fingers. The wind sounded now as if it were that of a gale blowing through the forest; there were even snapping sounds of branches. The laughing, a deep baritone, lasting at longer intervals and coming more frequently. After about 20 seconds, the screen again twisted and showed a single frame photo.

The editor was reluctant to go back, we all were, but he knew he had to. This time the photo was that of what appeared to be a little girl, no older than the first child. She was laying on her stomach, her barrettes in a pool of blood next to her. Her left eye was too popped out and popped, naked except for underpants. Her entrails were piled on top of her above another crude cut along her back. Again the body was on the street and the photographer’s shadow was visible, very similar in size and shape to the first. I had to choke back vomit and one intern, the only female in the room, ran out. The show resumed.

About 5 seconds after this second photo played, Squidward went silent, as did all sound, like it was when this scene started. He put his tentacles down and his eyes were now done in hyper realism like the others were in the beginning of this episode. They were bleeding, bloodshot, and pulsating. He just stared at the screen, as if watching the viewer. After about 10 seconds, he started sobbing, this time not covering his eyes. The sound was piercing and loud, and most fear inducing of all is his sobbing was mixed with screams.

Tears and blood were dripping down his face at a heavy rate. The wind sound came back, and so did the deep voiced laughing, and this time the still photo lasted for a good 5 frames.

The animator was able to stop it on the 4th and backed up. This time the photo was of a boy, about the same age, but this time the scene was different. The entrails were just being pulled out from a stomach wound by a large hand, the right eye popped and dangling, blood trickling down it. The animator proceeded. It was hard to believe, but the next one was different but we couldn’t tell what. He went on to the next, same thing. He want back to the first and played them quicker and I lost it. I vomited on the floor, the animating and sound editors gasping at the screen. The 5 frames were not as if they were 5 different photos, they were played out as if they were frames from a video. We saw the hand slowly lift out the guts, we saw the kid’s eyes focus on it, we even saw two frames of the kid beginning to blink.

The lead sound editor told us to stop, he had to call in the creator to see this. Mr. Hillenburg arrived within about 15 minutes. He was confused as to why he was called down there, so the editor just continued the episode. Once the few frames were shown, all screaming, all sound again stopped. Squidward was just staring at the viewer, full frame of the face, for about 3 seconds. The shot quickly panned out and that deep voice said “DO IT” and we see in Squidward’s hands a shotgun. He immediately puts the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger. Realistic blood and brain matter splatters the wall behind him, and his bed, and he flies back with the force. The last 5 seconds of this episode show his body on the bed, on his side, one eye dangling on what’s left of his head above the floor, staring blankly at it. Then the episode ends.

Mr. Hillenburg is obviously angry at this. He demanded to know what the heck was going on. Most people left the room at this point, so it was just a handful of us to watch it again. Viewing the episode twice only served to imprint the entirety of it in my mind and cause me horrible nightmares. I’m sorry I stayed.

The only theory we could think of was the file was edited by someone in the chain from the drawing studio to here. The CTO was called in to analyze when it happened. The analysis of the file did show it was edited over by new material. However, the timestamp of it was a mere 24 seconds before we began viewing it. All equipment involved was examined for foreign software and hardware as well as glitches, as if the time stamp may have glitched and showed the wrong time, but everything checked out fine. We don’t know what happened and to this day nobody does.

There was an investigation due to the nature of the photos, but nothing came of it. No child seen was identified and no clues were gathered from the data involved nor physical clues in the photos. I never believed in unexplainable phenomena before, but now that I have something happen and can’t prove anything about it beyond anecdotal evidence, I think twice about things.

4. The Girl In The Photograph
One school day, a boy named Tom was sitting in class and doing math. It was six more minutes until after school. As he was doing his homework, something caught his eye.

His desk was next to the window, and he turned and looked to the grass outside. It looked like a picture. When school was over, he ran to the spot where he saw it. He ran fast so that no one else could grab it.

He picked it up and smiled. It had a picture of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had a dress with tights on and red shoes, and her hand was formed into a peace sign.

She was so beautiful he wanted to meet her, so he ran all over the school and asked everyone if they knew her or have ever seen her before. But everyone he asked said “No.” He was devastated.

When he was home, he asked his older sister if she knew the girl, but unfortunately she also said “No.” It was very late, so Tom walked up the stairs, placed the picture on his bedside table and went to sleep.

In the middle of the night Tom was awakened by a tap on his window. It was like a nail tapping. He got scared. After the tapping he heard a giggle. He saw a shadow near his window, so he got out of his bed, walked toward his window, opened it up and followed the giggling. By the time he reached it, it was gone.

The next day again he asked his neighbors if they knew her. Everybody said, “Sorry, no.” When his mother came home he even asked her if she knew her. She said “No.” He went to his room, placed the picture on his desk and fell asleep.

Once again he was awakened by a tapping. He took the picture and followed the giggling. He walked across the road, when suddenly he got hit by a car. He was dead with the picture in his hand.

The driver got out of the car and tried to help him, but it was too late. Suddenly he saw the picture and picked it up.

He saw a cute girl holding up three fingers.

For sixpenceee creepypastaisrad and fuckyeahspoopyshit

One of the Most Important Things to Do in High School and Undergrad- How to get Into Vet School Part 3

I’ll be the first one to tell you that academics during college is important. Very, very important. However, there is something that is just as crucial during your pre-vet journey. And that, my friend, is experience

Let’s get some definitions out of the way first. Veterinary experience is defined as any type of experience that is supervised by a vet (ex: shadowing a vet, working at a vet clinic). Animal experience, on the other hand, is one without the direct supervision of a vet (ex: volunteering at a shelter, performing bird research, showing horses, etc). Both are vital, can be sought after even before high school, and all hours should be recorded for your vet school application. 

Vet experience is imperative and required due to several reasons, but NOT just because it will look good on your application. The most obvious reason is because in order to get into vet school (in the US anyways), at least one of your Letters of Recommendation (LoR) is required to be from a veterinarian, not to mention several schools have a minimum requirement for experience hours (some are as high as 400 hrs minimum). The most crucial reason is because as you gain experience, you can get a feel of what being a veterinarian is like, you can ask your questions, and you can begin to sort out whether or not this is the career for you. This is essential, because what you think vet med is like and what it is like could be two very different things. If you are considering vet med at all (”should I be an animal scientist or vet tech/nurse or vet???”), then my advice to you is to GO SHADOW A VET. See what the day-to-day is like, see whether this crazy lifestyle would be good for you. You can ponder all you want, but it might not click until you get out there and see for yourself.

A popular question is “how much experience you need to be competitive.” This is a very hard question to answer, because it will vary by school, but back when I was applying, it was suggested that you should at least have 500 hours. There’s a few popular schools that state the average accepted applicant hours are around 1000 hrs of vet experience, though keep in mind this is an average for a reason, there are several people who get in every year with less than this, and in my mind, quality of experience is much more important than just quantity. 

Another very critical thing to keep in mind is that most schools want to see a diverse range of experience.  It’s great if you get 2,000 hours at a small animal clinic, but schools want you to experience other aspects of vet med, so it’s imperative to try to get experience with small animals, large animals, equine, exotics/wildlife, and research. Those are the 5 main categories. HOWEVER, if you are missing one or two categories, this does NOT mean you will be automatically rejected. This is just one piece out of your entire application into vet school, after all. 

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Disclaimer: As much as I love writing up these posts, please keep in mind these are only my opinions. There are many roads that can lead into vet school,and just because I offer an opinion does not make it correct, especially if your situation is different than mine was. Please don’t panic if you aren’t doing exactly what I say on here, everyone has different experiences and that is what makes them and you unique. I’m simply hoping this mini-series will be a guideline to help you begin your journey along the road to vet school.

Attention all vetblrs: I’m really excited to start this mini-series on getting into vet school, and I would love some collaboration! I encourage all vets and vet students to reblog this post and add in their own advice on the topic of the day! Those in countries other than the U.S. who have a different system/application are also more than welcome to chime in!

Coming up next: How to Obtain Experience and How to Record it. 

10

TVD 7.01 | Resent Me or Love Me

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about this scene. It didn’t go how I expected it to when they kept teasing this resentment arc over the summer. I think we were all kind of expecting her to blow up at him, since they said that the resentment would be on both sides, and that Bonnie would “check him,” and so forth. But she didn’t blow up at him; instead she was quiet, pensive, sad

It was just strikingly different to how we’re used to conflict playing out between them.

In season 6, whenever he was acting in a way that was causing her harm, or not really taking her into account enough, her way of making her voice and needs heard was always to push him, to push back at him. There was anger and bursts of emotion, and it was good. It was what they both needed: her, to find a way to be loud/vocal and fight for her own needs, and him, to snap out of whatever impulse had him acting in such harmful ways and consciously realize what he was doing to her, and doing in general. And every time she read him like that, he would stare after her like, “Oh shit, she’s right, I fucked up, how can I fix it?” It happened in the parking lot of the grocery store in 6x03 when she needed him to allow her to have hope, it happened in the dorm room in 6x16 when she needed him to understand exactly what kind of torture she went through during her time without him in the prison world, and it happened in 6x17 when she needed him to understand that she was done putting her life at risk, that she wasn’t going to be the lamb thrown up onto that sacrificial altar anymore.

But this was different. It got the same response from Damon, but her approach was more intimate somehow, like after everything they went through she trusts him to hear her now.

On the one hand, my heart broke because she wasn’t pushing him away at least in part because she can’t afford to. Like she said, she needs him. He’s stuck with her, and she’s not pushing him away or walking away from him, because he’s someone that she needs to have in her life. She is isolated, still wanting and needing to fight, but struggling. And she needs Damon to step up.

I think it’s meaningful that they took that route here, that this time around she speaks her heart in this way, rather than seemingly trying to force him to hear her. She could have lashed out at him again, goodness knows he deserved it. I really expected her to yell at him that it isn’t an easy time for her either, that he’s not making it any easier for her, that unlike him, she’ll never see Elena again. And those would have all been valid points tbh. But she didn’t have to.

She trusts him to see her, to understand what she’s feeling and what she needs, without the desperation/violent emotion now. Like I don’t think she would have ever said “Resent me or love me” if she really thought that the resent option would actually be on the table for Damon after he’d heard her. It speaks to how important they are to each other now in a really beautiful, subtle way. They need each other, and they know they need each other. They can have faith in the depth of their bond (as Damon reinforced with the 3 seconds speech later in the episode).

That’s so huge for these characters, who have always been given reason to feel insecure about their loved ones not actually loving them. Bamon doesn’t say I love you, they say “You’re stuck with me too,” and I think that’s beautiful.

(feel free to delete the commentary if reblogging for the gifs!)

What engineering school has done to me
  • Physics Professor: We'll be having a quiz at least once a week, which I expect you to come prepared for. If you're having any trouble, I expect you to spent at least several hours on your own before coming to me about it.
  • Me: Oh, of course.
  • Chemistry Professor: For the next test you will need to be able to recognize and complete over 100 different chemical equations.
  • Me: Well ok, that sounds reasonable
  • Math Professor: Please do a triple integral to determine the density of this cube when the density is proportional to its distance from the xy-plane.
  • Me: Psh, piece of cake.
  • English Professor: I'm giving you two days to write a 500 word short piece on a childhood experience of yours.
  • Me: whaaaaa.. .. . ... what does that even....