i hated that ex so much

Now that we’ve actually seen the trailer for 2x18. And actually all remembered that Lena has an ex-boyfriend. And apparently they are actually going to make out to some degree (under mind control or no), let’s all remember that Rahul Kohli is an actual sweetheart, probably got on extremely well with Katie (because they’re both nerdy as fuck) and not send him hate via Twitter or Insta during the hiatus (or at any time at all really)? Because that’s rude. He’s nice. Leave him alone. Also remember he has gifted us pictures of actual cryptid Katie McGrath too.

jesus fucking christ i hate him i hate my ex so much how the fuck could he say those things to me and not mean it at all??? what kind of person fucking does that? he told me he used me to pass time! thats all i fucking am i just am someone people use to pass some time. ill never be worth anything. im so broken and i feel like im not even me anymore! he left me so damaged and i hate it i hate it but more than anything i just hate myself

i.
you’re the kind of person who says sorry

when they don’t mean sorry.
you just want me to stop having feelings
so you don’t have to think about what you did wrong.

you don’t even fucking listen to me when i speak

so i’m done speaking.

ii.
i hate you so much. there’s no way

hatred isn’t this feeling. my blood is boiling.

you’re still choosing her over me,

even as friends.
you don’t deserve my friendship.

you never did.

iii.
i write a poem about me leaving you

and you see it so you text me.
i don’t answer because i fucking hate you

but i feel guilty about it the entire day.

iiii.

you text me again. you say “hey.”

you tell me you saw my snapchat story

and you hope i’m having fun. you ask me

how school’s going. you’re so good

at pretending you care. you’re so good at it,

i believe you.

iv.

i always give in.

i always text you back eventually.

and you’re so fucking nice to me,
i forget about all of the things you did wrong.

all of the lies. the times

you were threading your hands in her hair

when i was breaking down.

vi.

why can’t you make this easy?

why can’t you fucking leave?

—  I DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE

can i just say how much the revival has made me grateful for season 7. like, asp was going to have rory get pregnant at 22, which would have honestly been the most heartbreaking ending i could think of for rory- a major part of her characterization is that she didn’t want to end up like lorelai, yes she loves lorelai, yes she respects lorelai and appreciated all the sacrifices lorelai made for her, but she didn’t want the life lorelai had. lorelai is exactly where she’s supposed to be- in stars hollow, with the inn, with luke- but rory wanted more. rory wanted to be christiane amanpour, she wanted to travel, see the world, do things, which was a major part of her turning down logan’s proposal because she wanted a ‘wide open future’. how the hell would she have gotten that with a baby? that’s the  worst thing- like, you will become your parents whether you like it or not. and logan, too- he becomes mitchum, lives out his huntzberger preordained life, the life he desperately didn’t want, without even being told he has a child. at least in the revival rory is 32, she’s done stuff, she’s lived, but geez, that’s still a crappy ending for the girl who wanted to be christiane amanpour.

“How would you describe him?” They ask me.

“He’s perfect,” I say.

“No one is perfect.”

“Perfect is the only way to describe him. He isn’t nice, he’s so much more than that. He isn’t handsome, handsome doesn’t describe his boyish smile or his dreamy tall frame or his adoring black hair. He isn’t just a good listener, because I loved to hear him tell his own stories too. And he doesn’t just have a nice voice, that doesn’t describe his fruity laugh or the way he speaks when he talks about what he loves. I could go on forever, but when I think of perfect, my mind goes straight to him.”

—  a.a.
yet because he’s truly not perfect, I love him even more… m.k.j.
God, I fucking miss you so much. It hits me randomly during the day. I’m with people who actually care about me, laughing, smiling, being happy and then out of nowhere it hits me that you left. You left and it didn’t even hurt you. Not talking to me isn’t even fucking hurting you, because I was just another girl to you. I was just another one of your fucking toys.
—  How could I be so stupid?

Dirk Strider is autistic, and he knows sign language because he often goes nonverbal, especially when he’s very taken by something (ex: he’s working, coding, in general doing things that require his full attention).
Too much light can make him very distressed, so he always keeps his shades on to avoid meltdowns. His special interest are robots and machine-creation in general. He doesn’t really emote, but it’s ok because nobody ever forces him to. He hates physical contact for the most, the only exceptions he makes are Dave, Jake, Jane and Roxy.
He was never raised with the idea that stims are shameful and need to be repressed, so he stims freely. He’s used to create his own stim toys out of spare mechanical parts, and always keeps one or two with him

Jane Crocker is autistic, she was never diagnosed officially but she realized it on her own.
She loves baking because she finds both the sensation of having her hands full of dough/flour/pastry in general and the smell of baked goods sensorially pleasing. Growing up she was really ashamed of flapping in public, but in the post-game she starts doing it again and she’s very happy about it. She doesn’t like making eye contact, and sometimes she wears gloves to avoid touching something that may feel Wrong.
Her Dad taught her how to make her own slime when she was little and she dedicates herself fully to the task of trying to figure out which colours would create the best combinations.
She got Jake into comedy TV shows first, and then the rest of her family (Dad, John and Jade) started joining them when they were watching them. She affirms that there’s something as wonderful as sharing special interests with people important to you!!

Roxy Lalonde is autistic, and she has absolutely no volume control.
She keeps tons of cats around because their fur and purring are sensory heaven to her and she could spend hours just lying down, surrounded by kittens. She bites her nails a lot, and is constantly twirling her hair.
Magicians and coding are her special interests, and she could go hours and hours talking about them - and sometimes she does, because her friends love to hear her talk about the things that make her the happiest. She gets lost and upset if people interrupt her while she’s talking about something, because it takes her a while to get back to the same train of thought.
She hates noises, and is used to keeping noise cancelling earbuds to keep them away. She has also a lot of different playlists for different occasions ready, also adores cataloguing new songs in all the different folders.

Jake English is autistic, just like his grandmother was.
When he was little she would talk to him about all her different kind of plants, and he would memorize the names right away. He still repeats all of them under his breath when he’s particularly distressed because it calms him down. He adores the outdoors, there’s nothing quite as beautiful as the smell and sounds of nature - in particular, he could spend hours in the forest just breathing in and out, because it reminds him of home. He can’t really understand tone of voices and metaphors and puns often tend to slip away from him.
He has a long time special interest for “bad” movies: he knows they’re bad and he doesn’t give half a shit because he loves them. His DVD collection is incredibly important to him and he doesn’t like people touching it, and everyone respects his wishes.
He keeps a chewie toy always with him, and every now and then he alchemizes a new one whenever the one he has seems too worn-out.

I have learned a thing concerning Tumblr’s search- if you put # in front of the search term  (ex. #search term instead of the search term by itself), then you only see posts that are tagged with that term, instead of seeing every post that even so much as mentions it in the text body.

My browsing experience is about to get better (because as it turns out, if you tag a post “anti pairing” then it shows up in the regular pairing search because it included the word - but using the # trick, it now it won’t do that).

I don’t hate you,” she whispered. “I can’t hate you. I wish I did. I wish I could scream and punch walls and burn everything with you in it because I hate you so much. But I don’t. And that’s the worst part. I love you. God, do I love you, even now, even when you walked away and shattered me like glass. And it’s ripping me apart.
It hurts to be near you;
yet it hurts to be anywhere else.
My heart still pounds when I see your name pop up on my phone;
and am I so tired on being alone.
I was angry and I asked you if I should just leave;
you said yes and oh my god,
can’t life just give me a rest?
Why did I waste so much time,
just for you to no longer be mine?
—  a.a.
friendly reminder that islam is toxic

its so hard to not become a misandrist when your dad is a muslim. i hate my father’s convictions so much. i just want to scream in his face, sit the fuck down youre not my fucking king. you will not marry me off to a man like you, to a muslim monster. nor do you have the right to do that. men get no say in who their adult daughters marry. men are not superior to women. men in a family are no more important than their wives. men are not the fucking supreme authority of their family. useless segregation of the sexes is fucking stupid. us girls and women have the right to go wherever we damn please without the permission of male relatives. who gets to see our beauty is up for us to decide, not you. YOU muslim men are stupid and backwards minded, not the western world. ppl wearing bikinis at the beach is not fucking “macabre” you idiot prude. god muslim culture is a crock of shit, someone pls make it disappear before it infests western societies any further. i cant wait to leave this family, go wherever i want whenever i want, dress how i want, talk with whoever i want however i want, play whatever instruments i want, cut my hair however i want, get a ton of tattoos, date ppl, be my “kafir whore” self in peace, and not see my idiot fathers ugly misogynistic face for as long as i live. fuck islam, seriously fuck it.

anonymous asked:

Does anyone hate Dallas? If so, why?

So you know that peanuts comic where this girl was asking this boy if he thought he was better than Charlie Brown? And the boy says yes. And the girl goes on to tell him “then why do I like Charlie Brown better than you?”
This short comic alone explains all of Blake’s bitterness towards Dallas.
Blake really better than Dallas at everything, but somehow, Dallas manages to?? Catch a lot of sympathy from everyone. Blake wants so badly to be friends with Poppy. Blake’s ex is Malek. Even though Ty is pretty much the coolest on the baseball team, he’s still not enough for Blake. It’s really a huge strain on their friendship.
There was that part in mean girls where Regina was talking about how she didn’t want her dollhouse anymore but when it was going to be given away, she wanted it again. That’s how Blake feels about Malek. He’s hung up on the relationship, not the guy.
What I’m trying to say is that Blake really dislikes Dallas, but I don’t want to portray him in a cartoon villain sort of way? His feelings are really complex, and it drives him nuts because he hates Dallas but at the same time he feels?? Really bad for the guy?? One part of him is just. He’s not that bad come on. And the other part is no. No. No. No.

Dallas’ ex comes later but she is a whole ‘nother story.

Other kids in the class, out of transphobia or ableism probably dislike him too.
Police at their local department.

6

My God, how I hated you. There was a time in which I could not conceive of how I could ever forgive you. And in this moment, I am you.

#ExMuslims

The blogs of ex Muslims are the saddest ones. Those people are so hateful and miserable. I feel bad for them. I can’t hate them even tho their blogs are dedicated to doing nothing but insulting the religion I love so much.
I pity them because they have hardened their hearts to our lord because of the actions and misconceptions of those around them. It is crucial to read the Quran and read hadiths for yourself and not judge Islam based on somebody else’s words and interpretations.
I’m going to start making du'a for Allah to bring all ex Muslims back to Islam. My heart hurts for each lost member of our ummah.

you should call your mom back,
and apologize,
even if you’re not sure why 
you’re sorry, just that you
have been, for awhile now, 
just sorry 

tell her that your stove caught on fire the first time
you actually used it, laugh, tell her
“actually, you were right, i have no idea 
how to cook,”

text your best friend back,
i know she and you are growing apart 
but it’s okay, not all gaps are 
impossible to tread across

tell her that last night you ate so much
you felt like you were going to explode 
sixteen cups of spinach because 
it was all that was left in the fridge and 
calories don’t count if they’re vegetables
say, “i have no idea why i bought it,
i hate that shit,” invite her over
to eat ice cream next time instead.

make the bed. take a shower. shave your legs
or your head, whichever makes you feel
less burdened.

don’t message your ex. i know you’re lonely
in a way that is icing your blood so your 
heart is stuttering in your chest

instead write a letter to your grandmother
you know she loves them and besides
she gets lonely, too,
maybe she’ll explain how to survive
to you, say, “hey, it’s been a while 
i’m on my own now,
but grandma,
i think i’m kinda
getting the hang of this,
so thanks for watching out for us kids.”

go to sleep, my love. everything seems better
in the morning sun.

—  twenty-somethings with empty wallets // r.i.d

I always thought that my love could fix you. That you would change and love me again. I loved you so much I forgot to love myself. I forgot what it was like to feel good, feel happy, feel…safe.

It took me years to realize that none of this was ever my fault like you always said it was. It was always you. I loved you so much that I was blinded by your harsh words. It took me years to love myself again, and hate you for everything you did to me. Years of depression and anxiety, many nights spent still crying, many nights locked in the bathroom.

—  to the guy I let ruin me