i hate you for giving me unrealistic expectations of brown guys

hoseok scenario | give me sunshine

You have always looked forward to meeting your idols - Bangtan Sonyeondan. Yet, when you finally get to meet them, you are overcome by a sense of disappointment. There’s no way these boys can meet your unrealistic expectations. Seeing how sad you are, Jung Hoseok tries to cheer you up. ♡

genre: angst, fluff
word count: 3.1k

Originally posted by hoseokxx


Meeting your idols is something that you have always dreamed about. Just to be able to see them face-to-face, to talk to them and tell them how much they mean to you. But you never thought it would actually happen. Yet here you are. Standing in line, waiting to meet them. Bangtan Sonyeondan.

You’ve picked out your best outfit and tried to get your hair to lie as straight as possible. But now, surrounded by a sea of ARMYs, all of them so much prettier, so much taller, so much cuter than you are, you question how you ever believed that you’d stand out to the band members. You’re just a plain face in the crowd. After you’ve finished talking to BTS you know they won’t remember a thing about you.

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SJW Opinion Shaming

If there’s anything that social justice extremists hate more than anything, it’s having to hear a differing opinion. Honestly, they seem to despise it much more than actual injustice. Have you ever been on the end of a discussion with one of these people as they throw you a red herring? It just kind of leaves you in this position of confusion, I feel like.

If there’s one thing that rubs me the wrong way with today’s progressives and hyperliberals is that they’re always in a rush to make sure they publicly present themselves on a moral high horse. It’s always the sort of self-depictions I typically gripe about on here. The straight white male who has to make sure he proves how totally not racist or sexist he is by championing any exaltations of other demographics and shouting down anyone who belongs to his own, over the voices of the marginalized peoples he claims to be standing up in defense for. But it’s worse when it comes to a point where rather than having civil discussion and maintaining discourse, the narrative shifts to shame the person over who they are.

For instance, I happened to notice this conversation on Twitter recently.



Anthony Burch is a writer for Riot Games, the company most famously known for their creation and development of League of Legends, maybe you’ve heard of it. He’s also known for working on Borderland 2. Not a bad resume, I guess. And interestingly enough, his Tumblr is kind of intriguing in a rad way. I guess he would be the kind of guy you’d want to admire from a far enough distance that you can’t hear him or read his consistently jawing array of fuckass opinions.

This is the type of extremist who champions exaltations of demographics he doesn’t belong to. But this is to say as though there is a glorification to champion regarding the demographics of a fictional video game character. Who he’s talking about is the newly announced addition to the Overwatch heroes cast, Sombra. Now, you can go to the official website for Overwatch and check out information such as Sombra’s abilities, and her intriguing background story - you know, things that are supposed to matter in a video game. Fortunately, Mr. Burch had the foresight to realize that what actually matters is the character’s race, and style of hair. 

Now, diversity is great. It’s even better when it’s not forced, you tend to appreciate it much more. But when I’m playing a game, especially a game like this where the clear differences in play have everything to do with abilities, weapons, stats, etc - I couldn’t give any of a shit less what the character’s gender or race is. I think most people can agree with that sentiment. Race doesn’t matter, but if you point this out to a social justice crusader who takes great joy in living on their own pedestal, you’d god damn better make sure you can’t be attacked for something you can’t control, like the color of your skin. Because that’s what matters! Any essence of a point of view is only as valid as your privilege. But for some reason, this was the direction the conversation spun out into:

Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin had nothing to do with the subject at hand. But this guy had to firmly display publicly how totally not racist he is by invoking these two slain black men for no reason. Of course, when he’s called out on his shit by a non-white person, he ends up shutting the fuck up and moving on elsewhere.

In a degree of virtue, the man that Anthony unfairly attacked, concluded his brief string of tweets with a gesture of respect for Anthony. No surprise that there ended up being no attempt at discourse with Alek from Mr. Burch at that point. It could have turned into an exchange of ideas. Unfortunately, you don’t really see these proud extremists like Anthony Burch engage in that sort of behavior, do you? It’s all initial self-projection to be seen as supportive to progressive ideas that have nothing to do with you, where there is no room for differing opinion.


Extra Innings


In the case of this news, in the end, it’s almost baffling that a number of his followers similarly focused on things that didn’t matter, or otherwise brought up unnecessary talking points.

Anytime I see attributes on specific characters such as age and birthdate, they’re almost a mildly interesting side note, not something I take any glee toward. She’s thirty. You’re thirty. She’s a fictional character likely with great stamina and physical ability in a fictional futuristic universe shooting up opponents. You’re a real human being who may likely never achieve anything close to the ability she was programmed to have. Overall, the comparison of her age means jack shit. So much so that in 3 years, she will still be 30, and you’ll be 33. Not much to be happy about at that point is there?

How is this a shocker? None of the characters in this game, from my understanding, have backstories in which they were victims of sexual assault and come from abusive families. Here’s a list of other female characters in video games that don’t suffer from these sort of tropes: Princess Peach, Zelda, Samus Aran (let’s just get the Nintendo trifecta out of the way), Terra Branford, Sonya Blade, Bayonetta, Jill Valentine, Ellie (The Last of Us), Lara Croft, Chun-Li, I mean, seriously - almost every major, and even minor, characters who were women don’t have these sort of stories attached to them. This is a ridiculous assessment.

Except for the fact that she doesn’t exist. She’s a fictional character in a video game. She was designed, and she was designed to be a programmer, and to look cute. Never mind the actual latina women in programming and development that DO exist who (depending on your standards) are also cute, such as Mayra Urrutia, Vanessa Larco, Julissa Ramirez, and Giselle Agosto.

I can’t argue this. Having unrealistic expectations in your life going forward is probably important. And considering the original tweet that this is being responded to, I’m not sure how you can aim to be latina through your transitioning if you don’t already belong to that demographic. The punk-hair thing you can always do no matter who you are, though.

Now, if these final four pieces of criticism offended you, rest assured that you are more than welcome to assume my race, sex, gender, and even my sexuality, and shame me over them for thinking all of these things are fucking stupid and have no bearing on whether or not a game is worth playing, or if a specific character is worth putting your greatest efforts into learning how to properly play.

Dear Nash, JC and Cameron

First of all, this isn’t a feminist rant. This is a human rant. And I’ve probably made some grammatical errors but meh…

Upon entering the black hole that is Tumblr, I have seen videos and images that don’t think I would have ever seen if I hadn’t made that courageous decision to sign away my social life.

Most of these videos are heart warming or eye opening and it always makes me think about what is going on out there “in the big unknown”

But this morning, I watched a video that didn’t make me happy. That didn’t make me sad or jealous or guilty. This video made me angry and very, very self conscious.

This video was call “What Guys Look for in Girls” and it was made by three guys called Nash, Cameron and JC.

And they were listing all the things they find attractive in a girl. Whilst watching this I actually made a list of everything they said. It took up a whole page.

So here is my “response” to Nash, Cameron and JC

Be yourself personality wise and be yourself appearance wise.

But you must

- Must be outgoing and fun

But no obnoxious and loud

- Must be “intimate at night”

Don’t be too easy

- Be natural- “that’s so attractive”

Shave every ounce of hair on yur body because ew

- Cuddle them

Give them space

- Be playful

Can’t be better at them at video games

A lot of things you guys said in this video pretty much contradicts another thing you say.  Especially when you say be different try to be unique. I totally agree with but when you’ve given us all these expectations that you find attractive in girls, that cuts out a lot of stuff. Which in turn kind of just collapses on it’s self and makes all girls the same. Because of your design of the ideal girl.

But the thing that really got me was what their ideal girl had to look like.

 soft hair

perfect smile

dimples

freckles

natural look 

short girls

good style ie long sock w/ skirt

brunettes

change hair- straighten- braid

lipstick- NO weird colors

shave EVERYTHING

natural eyebrows 

1.  I am all for the natural look but for me personally, makeup just makes me feel comfortable with myself and adds to my personality. Makeup is a form of self-expression and lets the wearer be unique. But well done to girls who can rock the natural look and have the confidence to go out with no makeup on.

2. hon, I can wear what ever the frick I want thank you very much.

3. wax arms and peach fuzz because they are TERRIBLE. Mate, we were born with hair. We were born with hair on our arms and legs and armpits and lips. At this moment I would like to read out my favourite comment- from Amy McLaughlin “if you want a girl with no body hair then date a fucking shark. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of body hair”. You go Amy McLaughlin.

4. you just told us to shave all hair on our bodies yet you like the natural look

In todays society, as women, we are confronted everyday with media such as advertisements, movies, TV shows, social media, magazines etc. of women who are all skinny, all have perfect teeth, all have makeup, perfect clothes and much more. These things constantly show women that unless you are up to these appearance standards, you will never be good enough.  Because everyday we wake up- no, the second we are born we are faced with these unrealistic expectations of women and this goes on up until be die. This does not stop. We are constantly told how society expects us to look and act.

It’s funny because my whole life I have been insecure about a lot of things, like my height, my weight and even the hair on my arms. And just when I as starting to come out of my cave of self loathing after 16 years and become more confident with myself this video surfaces and points out every one of my flaws and causes me to turn around and walk straight back into that cave and hide under my blanket.

And I know for a fact that hundreds of other girls have done the same thing because they have looked at this and gone “we now I know that I am not good enough for any boy”.

These requirements you have made causes so much damage to a girl and a woman. Because when you say this stuff, you are essentially telling these viewers, who are mostly young girls aged between 13-18, that unless you fall under every category you have just listed, you will never be worthy enough for a guy.  And Nash, you have a sister. Imagine her at the age of 13, already starting to feel self conscious about her body or the way she acts, coming home and saying this boy doesn’t like me because I don’t have brown hair or because I don’t play volleyball or because I have hairy arms. I’m pretty sure as a big brother you would do everything in your power to make her believe she is a beautiful girl.

Girls, this is such a disrespectful video and not only these guys, but any guy is telling you you should change something about yourself they are not worth your time and they do not deserve you. Girls, you are beautiful, you are smart, you are perfect the way you are. Don’t let these three 14 year olds tell you what you should look and act like. No girls, no, no person should be told how to present themselves. Because the number one mistake you can make is conform to one person’s idealistic beliefs.  It is your body, your rules.

Dear Nash, Cameron and JC

You listed 65 expectations of women and girls.
you listed 65 UNREALISTIC expectations of women and girls.

Thank you. For finally pointing out every girls flaws and insecurities . And making them feel horrible about themselves.

If you see this, and keep in mind, I am not asking you to do this, I am telling you to do this. I think everyone on the Internet would like a formal apology and not some 6-line tweet. You guys had no right to say what you said.

PS.

I know these guys are getting a lot of hate from people and I know they have said some horrible stuff. But to the people giving them hate and resentment, conveying hatred towards these guys does not make you a better person.

Although they did something they probably shouldn’t, they are human too.  Just like girls are too and we shouldn’t be told how to look and act.