i hate you blue shell

Rick and Stan playing Mario Kart
  • Stan: "Oh who the FUCK just blue-shelled me?!"
  • Rick: "Meee."
  • Stan: "I hate you."
  • Rick: "Don't hate the player, hate the game, son!"
  • Stan: "No, I'm mad at you now. For two minutes I am mad at you."
  • Rick: "Don't hate the player-"
  • Stan: "You're an asshole."
  • Rick: "Yeah, well you're married to an asshole, so who's the asshole now?"
  • Stan: "You're an idiot."
  • Rick: "YOU'RE an idiot!"
Payback Challenge (Dan x Reader)

Character: Dan Howell (danisnotonfire)

Fandom: Phandom

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader

Title: Payback Challenge


A/N: I’ve wanted to write a Dan imagine since I started the blog, but I didn’t quite like how my previous attempts turned out. I don’t know why, but Dan imagines are really hard for me to write. Anyway, I hope this one’s good.


Warnings: A lot of swearing.


Summary: Being very competitive, Dan suggests having a competition of their ‘dares’ with Y/N, in which the loser has to do whatever the winner says. The result is quite interesting.


I was in my room, calmly eating my cereal and scrolling down Tumblr.  Well, it was Dan’s cereal (perks of being that dork’s flat mate), but he would never know.

I sometimes did stuff like that to annoy him and get his attention. But I guess Dan Howell was completely oblivious of the fact that every little thing he did made me feel flustered. And how my stomach did so many back flips everytime he smiled at me.

“Y/N!” Dan called me then. I stopped mid bite, fearing he found out about the cereal.

“Yeah?” I shouted back once I swallowed the milk and cereal.

“Come here!”

I sighed heavily and stood up. He probably just wanted me to get him something because he didn’t want to stand up himself. So bloody lazy.

“Where are you?!” I screamt as I automatically walked to his room.

“In the office!”

“Argh, he’s so lazy…” I said to myself, walking up the stairs.

When I opened the door to the room, I found him sitting in the sofa, the TV on with the titles of Mario Kart 8.

He was smiling widely, showing me his white teeth, while he stared at me and wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

“No” I mumbled, realizing that he wanted to play with me.

“Why?” Dan whined, preparing his puppy eyes.

“Because you always win! And then there’s that stupid thing…”

“You mean ‘the dares’?”

“Yeah…”

The first time I played videogames with the guys, I realized how competitive I truly was. And so was Dan. Phil tried to calm things down, but we weren’t having any of it.

Dan and I kept playing because we tied all the time, and he suggested what we called ‘the dares’ since we kept asking for a rematch. Everytime we played something we couldn’t forget that bet. Whoever won could make the other do whatever they wanted.

It was basically called the dares because it was like a stupid round of dares.  Most of the things were embarrassing or annoying to do, that was the fun of it.

We also called it the ‘payback challenge’ because basically we got to take revenge on whatever the other one made us do the last time. 

I shook my head vigorously and headed for the door.

“I’m not playing” I announced as I exited the room.

“Why? You’re afraid you’ll lose?” Dan mocked me, and I knew he was just trying to taunt me. But he achieved his goal.

“Fine” I was determined, so I closed the door with a swift movement and plonked down on the couch next to him, picking up the controller.

“Oh, are you sure, Y/N?” He had an evil smirk on his face. “Wouldn’t want you to lose”

“Shut up” I shoved him hard, so he fell on his side to the seat. “And let’s play”

We had been playing for a while now, and we were going through the last round.

Hearing our yells and the general racket we caused, Phil came to see us playing. We sure had to be quite the sight.

“Fuck!” Dan yelled as I passed his car and took the first place.

“Haha!” I teased him, nudging him without my elbow, taking neither my eyes off the TV nor my hands off the remote. “Luigi rules!”

I started to pick him when the Luigi death stare went viral on Tumblr. It sure was funny as hell.

“You and your bloody Luigi” Dan mumbled while Phil laughed next to us.

“One more lap, guys” Phil announced, and I grinned knowing I was going to win.

“No, no!” I screamt in frustration as Dan threw me a blue shell that slowed me down. “Stop, I hate you! You twat!”

Dan laughed evilly as he took the first place again.

“I’m gonna wreck you!” I laughed at my own joke. We were racing in the Sweet Sweet Canyon, also known as scenery from Wreck it Ralph.

“Get out” Dan muttered, but he didn’t lose focus as I expected him to. Phil was cracking up, though.

I quickly poked Dan’s side to distract him, but he just scooted away from me.

I concentrated harder, as I didn’t want to lose to Dan. I had no idea what he would ask me to do, but it sure was something to make a fool out of myself or do his chores or anything along those lines.

Well, I would ask him to do something similar too. I would ask him for a back massage, or make him watch a movie he hated with me. Or make me breakfast every morning for a week.

I yelped as I crashed into a wall, I had spaced out on my thoughts and actually forgot the race.

“Shit, I hate this fucking game!”

“You both swear so much, you get very violent when you play” Phil was not surprised, but he still commented on it. I usually didn’t swear that much, but that one videogame set my teeth on edge.

“Shut up!!” Dan yelled with his high-pitched voice, so bloody focused on the game.

“Don’t talk to Phil like that, you meanie!” I slapped his arm as he curled up away from me.

“I’m almost there” Dan announced in a singsong voice.

“No, Dan!” I screamt, noticing how close to the finish line he was. “Fuck you, that’s not fair!”

In a moment, he reached the finish line and the race ended.

“YES!” He yelled, throwing his arms up in the air in victory.

“Fuck this game!” I dropped the controller on the sofa and stood up. I walked to Phil to lay my head on his shoulder, fake sobbing as Dan kept celebrating his victory.

“You were betting, weren’t you?” Phil laughed, and I just nodded.

“Phil, we need to settle the terms of our new agreement” Dan solemnly said, a big grin on his stupid handsome face.

“You little shit, you cheated!” I accused him, ignoring Phil as he walked out the door.

“I didn’t cheat; you’re just too bad at Mario Kart” Oh, that sassy face he made was getting to me. But I was resigned and had to do what he asked me to.

We agreed to never break the bet, and I remember the time I destroyed him at Halo and got to paint his whole face with sharpies and made him keep it for the whole day. I also had to spend a whole day without using my dominant hand when he beat me at Tekken.

And all those situations were hilarious.

“What do you want me to do?” I finally asked him with a melodramatic sigh.

“You gotta stop eating my cereal; get my packages for me when they arrive…” Noticing he kept on going, I held my hand up to stop him.

“We said five little things top” I warned him.

“I know, shut up” He quickly said, basically ignoring my words.

“What eeeeeelse?” I tiredly asked.

“And you have to watch a horror movie with me” He jokingly wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Right now”

The guys, specially Dan, were bugging me all the time to watch scary movies with them. And I aways refused.

Sometimes they would casually put a horror movie on to watch it themselves while I was still there with them. And I would stand up and walk away, just like that.

“No, I won’t!”

“You will, it’s part of the bet!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

Out of anything he had ever asked me to do as a result of the dares, that was probably the worst so far. I hated horror movies with all my heart.

“If you can’t catch me, you can’t make me!” I stood up and started running around the house.

“Come here!” Dan was soon following me across the hallway and down the stairs.

“Phil, help!” I quickly opened the door to his room and rushed in.

He laughed and stood up from his bed, placing his laptop aside.

“I can’t intervene with the bet” Phil reminded me. “It’s the rules”

“Fuck those rules!” I ran to hide behind him as Dan stopped between Phil and me, catching his breath.

“Come on, just a little horror movie, Y/N…”

“No! I’ll have nightmares for days!” I wasn’t even joking, I once saw the Ring and had bad dreams for a week. That movie gave me the creeps.

To be fair, Dan didn’t really know how truly terrified I was because of them, he just thought I was being playful and exaggerating.

Dan rolled his eyes dramatically.

“It’s not so bad”

“Yes it is!”

“Phil, step aside” Dan asked him, and I peeked over Phil’s shoulder to see what he was going to do.

But he just stood in place, still serving as a human shield for me. I saw how he crossed his arms to show his determination. He was on my side, bless him.

“Alright” Dan mumbled, knowing how Phil and I usually allied against him. “Forget about the horror movie”

I slowly got out from behind Phil, staring at our friend, not really trusting him.

“Really?”

“Yes, come on” He took my wrist and I flinched, suspecting he was up to something. “Let’s go to the lounge”

“What for?”

“To pass the time”

We arrived at the lounge like he wanted to and sat in the sofa. I looked at him with the corner of my eye, but he still seemed calm.

Still, I distrusted every single move he made. I flinched, thinking he would try to tickle me or mess up my hair or something.

“Are you sure you’re not up to something?” I looked him up and down, analyzing him. “You’ve got that look about you”

“I’m not, trust me” Maybe he was a good actor, but I believed him.

“Okay, I believe you”

He comfortably placed an arm over my shoulders and showed me a cheeky and serene smile when I looked at him. And an innocent one. Too innocent, perhaps.

He picked up the remote and turned the TV on. A horror movie was playing on the DVD, he had it planned all along.

“Dan!” I whined, trying to get up, but he was faster.

As he had his arm over my shoulders, it was easy for him to wrap his other arm around me so my arms were stuck to my sides under his grip. He pulled me back to the couch with him again.

“I trusted you!” I screamt as I tried not to laugh. I was thinking that it’d be funny if Phil came in on that very moment. Watching us struggle and sliding from one side to the other of the sofa.

“That was your mistake!” He joked, still trying to hold me down and watch the movie with me.

“I’m genuinely terrified of horror movies, I have a bad time watching them, it’s not an act, Dan” His grip around me suddenly softened. “I know it from experience”

“What?” He mumbled, taken by surprise.

He pulled me backwards, so I leaned forward with all my strength. As a result, I fell to the floor, taking him with me as he was still holding my frame.

We both yelped as we hit the ground, causing a loud thud and landing on our sides while groaning in pain.

“Are you okay?” Dan asked me as he turned on his back.

“Yeah… you?”

“I think”

I looked at him, starting to laugh, as I still lied on my side.

“This is not a bloody chair, Dan!” I joked, already forgetting the tension I felt because of the movie that played on the screen. “Stop falling off places!”

I hid my face in his chest as it vibrated with laughter.

“It’s your fault! Look what you’ve done!”

Falsely offended, I gently rested my elbows on his torso to steady myself.

“Me?” I chuckled, unable to hold the laughter. “It was you who kept pressuring me”

Dan used one arm as a pillow to rest his head and wrapped my frame with the other so I could lean my head on it. I felt his hand staying in my waist.

He was smiling widely, which left me bedazzled, and oh my God, his dimples. But I wanted to pretend that I wasn’t staring at him. I wanted to keep the horseplay going not to ruin the moment, so I quickly placed my hand on Dan’s neck, but he didn’t react much to my dismay. He was supposed to be cringing and flailing like an octopus, because he hated when people touched his neck.

“You didn’t even flinch” I muttered in awe.

“What?” He looked down at me, still grinning.

“I was touching your neck”

“I don’t mind that much when you do it”

My eyes went wide. Not even when his best friend Phil did it, did he act nonchalantly like that. Only with me?

“I’m touching your stomach and you don’t seem to mind it either”

I looked down to my abdomen and his hands were indeed resting in my stomach. I remembered when Phil tried to tickle my stomach once; I even got actually mad at him because I hated it. Of course I apologized after that, but it was something I couldn’t help, I didn’t know why. It was irrational and stupid, like Dan’s neck thing.

I suddenly felt myself hypnotized by his eyes. They reflected his persona so well: they were warm and sweet but a little naughty and mischievous at the same time. Despite whatever they made me feel, they were incredibly pretty.

Dan smiled, and I didn’t realize how close our faces were until I felt his warm breath hitting my nose. I looked down to his lips, suddenly finding them so appealing.

“Why do you want me to see a horror movie with you so badly?” I wondered, staring at him. He stared back.

“You’d probably just be snuggling closer to me and hiding in my shoulder instead of watching the movie anyway” He softly shrugged.

So… was he just using that as an excuse to cuddle or was it just me?

Our mouths were inches away from each other as we talked, but just as we were about to kiss…

“Are you alright?! I heard a loud thud and-“ Phil was at the door of a sudden, looking down at us. He blushed when he saw us lying on the floor so close to each other. “Sorry”

We laughed as Phil slammed the door quickly and left us on our own once again.

I dragged my eyes away from the door to look back at Dan when I felt something against my lips. His lips.

I was going to say something when he started speaking. Feeling so startled, it would have most likely been gibberish.

“I was going to kiss your cheek, I promise” The look on his face let me know he was lying through his teeth. “You just moved”

“Whatever you say, Howell…” I went to stand up from on top of him, but he pushed his hands firmly on my waist to keep me down.

He then planted another kiss on my lips, this one considerably longer. His lips were incredibly sweet and warm.

I shut my eyes as I enjoyed the touch and feeling of his lips against mine and the intimacy of the moment.

“What about that one?” 

He cheekily smiled and shrugged.

“That one was on purpose”

“Was it now?” I smirked, the both of us chuckling. “So… Do I still have to do all those things because I lost?”

He got thoughtful for a second.

“Tell you what, I’ll let you off it all if you do this one thing for me”

I lifted an eyebrow, suddenly interested.

“Alright…”

“Be my girlfriend” He flashed me that crooked smile he sometimes put, and it was so charming and hot that I couldn’t resist. I couldn’t resist him, really.

“It’s the payback challenge” I put my face dangerously close to his so our noses were touching “I guess I have no other choice”

He opened his mouth to say something, probably some sassy or sarcastic comment, knowing him. But I shut him up by blocking his lips with mine.

I smirked as I pulled away and saw his priceless and hilarious expression. He didn’t see that coming.

Talk about payback challenge.