I hope your stomach drops when you remember me. I hope whenever someone calls you by your full name, that only I ever called you, you shut your eyes trying to get my face out of your head. I hope when you drive past our favorite spot at night you can’t help but hear my laugh. I hope you wish it was me when you find yourself sleeping with some random girl. I hope you think of me often, and it stings every time.
so he’s gone and you’re trying to let this go with him but it just won’t leave and you just can’t forget. this is an ache like lazarus; it is alive when it shouldn’t be, it is back and bigger than ever. it hurts that the memories are so soft and at the same time so goddamn wrecking ball. he was never as gentle as you remember. this was never as perfect as your naive high school eyes saw it. it’s hard to let go when the hurt is a leech and you are always bleeding. it’s hard to breathe easy when your head is always underwater.