Lately she’s quiet near people. She will talk, but not much. She will likely laugh for no apparent reason, then her eyes will get a bit teary, like she’s going to cry. Not because of the funny things she remembers, it looks like she’s laughing all of the sudden to hide the fact that she wants to cry. She feels like she can’t cry in front of them, that’s why she laughs.
I hated you for the longest time. You made everything around me feel colder than it was. You made me hate the reflection in the mirror that usually showed my bloodshot eyes and puffy red cheeks. You made me drink until I was passed out drunk in someone else bed. You.. were the one who took my heart and ran. And after all this time, you think I’d forgive you.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity. They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next. They show symptoms such as: a shaky sense of identity; sudden violent outbursts; oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection; brief, turbulent love affairs; frequent periods of intense depression; eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies; an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone.
The only call you are going to get from me is a couple months from now. I’ll be sitting on the floor in a bar bathroom at 2 am, drunk, and someone will have just got done butchering a Fall Out Boy song. In that second I’ll miss being in love with you but that will be it.
You don’t understand. You never have, and never fucking will. The reason I fell for you - the reason I wanted you and no one else was because I fell for you, hard. And I can’t move on from that.. from us. I never moved on, and I’ve always from the beginning loved you… It’s always been you.
I keep telling myself I don’t love you, it’s gotten to the point where I can lie and I almost believe it but then I see you and my heart starts pounding and all of a sudden I can’t remember why I don’t want to love you, stupid right? I think so because then I remember why I can’t love you. You’ll break my heart, you’ll make me feel loved, happy, and everything else but just when I start thinking you love me too, you’ll leave. You’ll leave and forget all about the late night calls, the good morning texts, & drunken kisses. You’ll leave me and then I’ll be left to pick up all the pieces. You’ll break me so until it’s true, I’ll keep lying.