i hate u u little shit

In other news Park Jimin is the fakest hoe I’ve ever seen, boy runs around with that squishy smile and baby hands acting all soft n cute like he just the Purest Bean in the bunch and then u put him on stage and he somehow gains +2000 Daddy™ points and grinds so fine the earth quakes I don’t wanna be played like this, u gotta pick one personality u chimchiminey shit I don’t have time for these games

anonymous asked:

Lesbians are weak. Darwinism swallows the weak. The future is heterosexual.

this is the funniest fucking shit i have ever seen. lesbians are weak?? have u ever met a lesbian? have u ever met a heterosexual??? heteronis are so pathetic they see ONE gay person and throw a little hissy fit and send messages like this to blogs when they see lesbians not hating themselves

You wanna talk weak? ur whiny baby ass cant handle the fact that there are women out there who dont want you. Check your ego at the door and get the fuck off my blog lol

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot  ’
‘  i hope you end up ok  ’
‘  i’m crying my best  ’
‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’
‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’
‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’
‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’
‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears?  ’
‘  you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh  ’
‘  @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened  ’
‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’
‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death  ’
‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’
‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’
‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’
‘  what the fuck is a good day  ’
‘  sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿  ’
‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’
‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’
‘  i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls  ’
‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’
‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’
‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’
‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’
‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’
‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always  ’
‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’
‘  i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved  ’
‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’
‘  i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender  ’
‘  concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’
‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’
‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’
‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’
‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’
‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up  ’
‘  a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,  ’
‘  you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn  ’
‘  my heart does a little “!” when I see you  ’
‘  i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit  ’
‘  i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn  ’
‘  still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again.  ’
‘  my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY  ’
‘  y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth  ’
‘  i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them  ’
‘  for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada  ’
‘  it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’
‘  in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too  ’
‘  man this has been the worst life of my life  ’
‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’
‘  I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To  ’
‘  forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember  ’
‘  “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic  ’
‘  are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry  ’
‘  do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on  ’
‘  KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death  ’
‘  remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real  ’
‘  personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK  ’
‘  my gender is “pretty boy”  ’
‘  what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage  ’
‘  what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license?  ’
‘  i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening  ’
‘  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual  ’
‘  do re me fa so done with you  ’
‘  ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more  ’
‘  i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole  ’
‘  should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean  ’
‘  am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me  ’
‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’
‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’
‘  has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?  ’
‘  i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy  ’
‘  if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao  ’
‘  my last words will probably be sarcastic  ’
‘  i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight  ’
‘  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened  ’
‘  single and ready to find aliens  ’
‘  it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful  ’
‘  i want to make friends but at the same time no  ’
‘  there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out  ’
‘  we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be  ’
‘  every time i speak i am reminded why i should not  ’
‘  every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved  ’
‘  i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone  ’
‘  we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning  ’
‘  on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine  ’
‘  they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’
‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’
‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’
‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’
‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’
‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’
‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’
‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’
‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’
‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’
‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’
‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’
‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’
‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’
‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’
‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’
‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’
‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’
‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’
‘  haha oops i care about you  ’
‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’
‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’
‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’
‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’
‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’
‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’
‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’
‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’
‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’
‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’
‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’
‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

anonymous asked:

LEELA PLS ANALYZE THE NEW DAPCRAFTS VID I CANT STOP SCREAMING

it was,,,,,, so fucking good. i just need to rant for a bit about so many aspects of this video because like not only was it genuinely so funny and original and creative, it was just SO WELL MADE. there were so many small details about it that i couldn’t even believe.  they put so much actual effort into it and they’re also both so naturally funny when it comes to this kind of humor. ahhhh there were so many good things to talk about that i hardly know where to begin or like how to even organize my thoughts so just like,,, be ready bc this is about to be the most incoherent ramble 

first of all. dnp work so well together. i mean. we know this, we see it all the time. but there’s a lot of humor in the crafts videos that is just completely improvised within the larger pre-planned structure/concept. and they bounce off each other SO well in this setting (maybe even better than they do in many of their normal collabs, at least from a comedic standpoint.) i think a lot of this has to do w the fact that the satirical cheeriness of the “characters” that they play, that is over-emphasized to the point of being creepy, just lends itself really well to so many amazing one-liners. but also they just have such good chemistry that is so readily apparent in this context,,, it makes me emotional. they consistently set each other up for jokes, if one person improvises a certain action or behavior the other goes along with it or reacts to it immediately and that’s a mark of rly well-practiced entertainers but also two people who know each other really well and i love watching it play out.

i also do have to acknowledge that they are both fundamentally quite talented. all three of the craft videos are examples of really genuinely witty humor and they showcase that side of dnp so well. both of them also have such a good sense of comedic timing and even an intuition for physical comedy and they’re also rly creative with how they edit these videos and the union of all of those elements is what makes these videos so good in my opinion. while i believe dan’s explanation that the first crafts video was filmed quite spontaneously without much of a plan (and that’s why it’s super short and not as funny as the latter two imo), i do think they put a lot of thought and effort into this one which is quite clear through many of the details they worked into the video both during the filming itself and then afterwards in the editing. first of all the overall concept of them being taken by satan as a culmination of the extremely subtle creepy undertones from the first one is just so smart bc no one would expect them to take it that far and the total hyperbolic unlikeliness of it is what makes it so damn funny. i think most ppl were expecting when dan said he’s keeping his stamp a secret that it would just be some sort of satanic symbol like what happened in the glitter faces vid but like,,, no one thought it’d escalate to where it did. it was so unexpected and over the top but somehow still not overdone or so forced as to dilute the comedy. it synthesized humor with genuinely unsettling creepiness and that is such a difficult balance to achieve. 

you can tell they put a lot of thought into it on so many levels. for instance they worked in all these rly subtle allusions to satan himself before the weird ritual scene happens, like dan saying “this one’s long with a big head like him” (ty for describing satans cock to us dan jfc) and phil saying “i’ve selected as many knives as friends i have, which is two.” then even during the ritual scene they work in things like the cow noise since a common satanic symbol is a horned deity (baphomet lol). and in their new channel description they use the case file name 19-1-20-1-14 which decodes to the word “satan” if you use a basic letter-number cipher (in which each number stands for the letter that is that position in the alphabet. ’s’ is the 19th letter, ‘a’ is the first, and so on.) and there are so many other little editing quirks that give this video that unsettling undertone, as well as editing quirks that add to the comedy of it and it’s all just so well done. for example the voice editing on certain words like “sharp” and “go away.” the audio overlays of heavy breathing at various points and random cuts to black screens. the use of creepy music at strategic places throughout. at 4:36 they recorded themselves saying protip backwards just to reverse it and they even spell out the “protip” text backwards, seemingly both as a way to shit on the whole ‘protip’ trope from the last vid and also to make fun of the way that satanists/conspiracy theorists think there are hidden messages in popular songs and shit that u can only hear if u play the audio backwards. ugh i hate them and their many layers of references. phil also references this again during the ritual part, when dan lights the match (he just goes “portip” “portip” as though he’s trying to say it backwards lol.) and then they fuck around w the word protip throughout the video almost like they’re making fun of it. there’s also definitely a subtle pitch manipulation of their voices as the video progresses. by the end they sound like they’ve sucked on a little bit of helium but it happens gradually enough that you’re just a little bit put off and you can’t really place why. then there’s the little comedic touches like the siren sound when “carefully” flashes across the screen. the fact that the legal disclaimer for adult supervision is cut off at the sides. the zoom in on the fleck of green paint that lands on dan when phil’s pouring it into the plate. ugh like damn i just want to make the point that they clearly put work into this and on face value it seems like a shoddy home video w a weird satanic ending but there’s a reason this works so well and feels so creepy and simultaneously laugh out loud funny and it’s bc they’re genuinely talented and we don’t always get to see that creative talent at work in their standard formulas for videos on their regular channels so i’m just so grateful that they made something like this where it seems like they allow themselves to exercise more of that creative energy. it begs a lot of questions about why they don’t do shit like this more,,,  and i think there are a number of reasons they feel safe and happy making what they generally make now but i’m jst so happy that at least in these videos they’ve branched out and done something so creative and good.

on that note. i just need to ramble about phil. i don’t think anyone can dispute that phil really carries these videos and partly that’s because he’s been in the role of the “teacher” in all three videos so he inevitably comes across as more dominant and sets the tone for the humor, but also like,,, he just works so well in this style and comes up with such spontaneous and WITTY little remarks that inevitably become the standout lines from each vid (in this one, for example, “potato is in my top ten favorite fruit,” “sometimes it’s nice to look up at the stars and remember that they’re all already dead,” “if you make a mistake while cutting just think about it for the rest of the day,” etc. and one of my fav from the past, “if you’re left handed ask a friend” (d: why am i left handed) “everybody makes mistakes!”) he also seems to improvise a lot of the physical comedy in the videos (in this one, the way he just stared at the paint as he squeezed it out for way too long, the way he threw around the cutting boards and plates, the way he did the chopping; and in past ones, slamming his hands on the paper and on dan’s hands when mixing the glitters, clacking the scissors super loudly in the first one, etc.) i just love these videos so much bc they’re some of the only ones that we have these days where phil is really doing most of the comedic legwork and dan definitely helps and bounces off of him but mostly lets phil take charge and i live for it. and while there’s obvi no way to tell who rly did the editing for the video (and i’m sure it was a mix of both of them) there’s no denying that the editing style and general creepiness (especially of the ritual sacrifice scene lol) bear a lot of similarities to the feeling/vibe/editing quirks in a lot of phil’s old school videos (i’m thinking like tape 6 and the basket which, if any of you reading these have not watched, please just open a tab right now and do that before you finish reading this lol.) the choppy way the different clips are spliced together in the whole ritual scene (where one second dan is stamping phil, then lighting a match and chanting, then phil’s chanting, then he’s slumped over and then there are two videos overlaid on top of each other when dan is actually stamping phil’s back and then the sudden cut to black) it’s all so reminiscent of those older videos and it does make me feel like phil had a larger creative hand in thinking about how this video should be put together and that just makes me so happy to think about. i’ve always wondered what phil does w his self-professed obsession with horror and his interest in violence and psychological thrillers and whatnot, as well as his former academic/critical study of filmmaking. it makes sense that he doesn’t feel comfortable exploring those interests by making things himself in this genre in a real way and especially not on youtube because his self-described objective through this platform is to provide his audience with light and uplifting entertainment. more pragmatically, he’s trying to make a living from this job and hold somewhat broad-based appeal through the videos he makes and it makes sense that lighter content that doesn’t require too much intellectual rigor would fare better and hold more consistent audience engagement. and more personally, making things on the level of tape 6, even years later w more familiarity with editing and whatnot and perhaps more skill in writing scripts/characters/plots, still would involve a certain degree of personal emotional vulnerability that the current amazingphil format doesn’t demand. in short, venturing into these territories creatively would be a risk on a lot of levels. it would invite more formal critique of his work. it would invite more people trying to read into who he is and his psyche (which are things that i feel like he’s actually terrified of and that’s part of why he’s built such a protective barrier against it). it would be a risk and it makes sense that he doesn’t want to take it, at least not right now. but it’s just lovely to see that he still has the capacity to make things in the vein of those older videos and to make them WITH DAN and mix them with comedy which i need to reiterate is such a hARD THING TO DO!!!! and  idk it just rly makes me so happy to watch and to think about. 

i love phil so much, and none of this is meant to dilute dan’s role since i’m sure he did inform some of the decisions here, but i just think that dan as phil’s biggest fan (since 2007 y’all) would feel many of these same things about phil’s older content and support phil’s desire to engage that darker creative energy/talent he has hiding under all of those layers of syrupy happiness and amiability. i love that this is sort of an update to that vintage dark!phil content bc it’s the same dark undertones, same editing quirks, etc. but now it’s mixed with rly cheeky humor and maybe that’s dan’s influence or maybe it’s still phil, but a phil that has shared his life w someone w this particular irreverent and sarcastic sense of humor for so many years and this video shows the confluence of those two things in such a lovely and original way and just,,,, ugh. this video was so much and i loved it SO much. truly so, so good i was not prepared to feel so many deep-seated Emotions over some god damn satanic propaganda i need help. 

(danandphilcrafts - potato prints)

4

edit: chibis are now $15! the previous price wasnt enough to cover for the time i was spending on them. thank u!

lou is back at it again with the commishes…………..who woulda thunk it

i apologize profusely if it seems a little pricey but u see… the £ has gone to shit (thanx brexit) so i have to hike up the dollar prices a little so that it means i get payed enough once the $$ is converted if that makes sense. im sorry, i hate it too

anyway. make me draw u things in return for digital money. its a great time

extremely detailed things (machinery, armour, complex outfits/designs etc etc) will probably require like an extra $5 or so but just lemme know in the e-mail and we can chitchat about it. also please bear in mind im really shit at drawing animals. i can try my hardest for u but i cannot promise a good quality horse. IM SORRY

you also get the bonus of seeing my birth name when you pay because fucking paypal wont let me change it to good humble lou. priceless really

thanks! if u cant buy plz reblog!

5

mini mb follow forever feels?????

if you know me it’s not a surprise i love to spread love around. i love all my mutuals but at the same time is quite impossible to keep in touch with every single one of you. so this is my way to say: i love you, i see you on my dash, i appreciate you and i want you to be happy and free.

i’m always here for you, you can message me anytime!! thank you for always making me smile. i feel honored to be in a fandom and share my happiness with such wonderful people. this is gonna be a long one, so sit back and relax!

<3 = special mentions

bolded = i just really love your blog and i love you. i admire you even if we don’t talk a lot but please know that my face lights up whenever i see u in my notifications. i’m always here for you

italics = i just really love your blog and admire you from afar

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

boyfriend!youngmin, college au? thank you:)

Originally posted by parkkwoojin

thanks for requesting!!

also, i reached 300 followers already?? thank u so much im njdkc??? i wasn’t active that much, and im really sorry about that!! but ill work harder to get more stuff out as a thanks!! 

but really, thank you so much!! <333

under read more bc its kinda lengthy!! 

Keep reading

super self-indulgent 2009 emo zimbits AU, with outfits pulled straight from a classic marianas trench video.

bonus: jack zimmermann’s gay ass would love to be beside you, bittle, but maybe.. just a little quieter. please

NCT Dream as PTA Moms - Haechan

Mark | Renjun | Jeno | Jaemin | Chenle | Jisung

here is my fave sass boy who I love so much like wow :’)

Originally posted by haecha

  • Lil Suburban Mom who’s probably cheating on their husband with a younger man
  • idk why that came to mind but it makes Sense okay
  • alternatively, the Soccer Mom
  • has no chill
  • probably bickers at PTA meetings with Tired Mom 
  • but also makes sure they are taking care of themselves
  • a little insecure sometimes, but then remembers they’re a bad bitch
  • loves to bake, hates cooking
  • makes the best brownies
  • “haechan ur brownies seem a little burnt, a little too dry”
  • “janice u look burnt and ur brownies taste like literal s-h-i-t and also don’t even get me started on that haircut bc whoever did it played tf out of u and stole ur money also I could steal ur husband so don’t come for me binch”
  • can sing
  • will sing
  • who’s singing at the convention?? its probably haechan
  • once brought three more desserts to the convention bc someone they hated from another district said they were bringing one dessert
  • petty af 
  • “talk shit, get hit”
  • looks after everyone and wants everyone to be healthy
  • no one disrespects one of his friends
  • will still roast u but sprinkles it with love
  • a secret sweetie pie
My top 5 Kunoichis

5. Hinata Hyuga

  • she wears her heart on her sleeve and I respect that. 
  • Still confused on wtf her hair color is. 
  • SHE IS NOT THE FRAGILE WEAKLING OTHER PEOPLE SAY,   BREAK THAT NOTION. 
  • Delicate flower but can still pulverize u, noob. 
  • Chakra points crusher co-co-co-combooo. 
  • In dire need of a stylist, tbh. I VOLUNTEER.
  • Her crippling shyness struck us hard cuz u know deep down u can relate to that shit. 
  • Her love for Naruto is either adorably romantic or terrifyingly stalker-like, and I love it either way. 
  • Naruto would be like, restraining-order-no-jutsu! Just a joke. jeez lighten up.
  • SHE IS MORE THAN JUST HER BREASTS. 
  • Whenever i look at her angelic face it makes my non existent dick so hard and i dunno whyyyy wtf is this withcraft?!

4. Sakura Haruno

  • let’s be honest, there is a lot of hate and flak about her…and frankly my dear i don’t give a damn.
  • She does not deserve that kind of treatment. 
  • SHE DID SOME REALLY STUPID SHIT BUT HEY, SHE IS HUMAN.   SHE IS FLAWED AND IT’S OK. 
  • She already proved she is a fucking titan. Ya just can’t mess with her.
  • SHE WILL END YOU. 
  • She can rip yo asshole in half and would still have time to rip u another asshole, too. 
  • SHE AIN’T THE SAME CRYBABY AS BEFORE THO SHE STILL IS, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE BIT. Have u seen the op & ed songs of the series? Why is she always crying? 
  • STAHP. IT’S OK TO CRY, JUST NOT ALL THE TIME. KEEP IT TOGETHER, GUUURL
  • Tsunade is so proud that she surpassed her in every way. Maybe not in the chest area though. FOR THAT she is relieved.
  • MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE. 
  • She bloomed into one of the greatest shinobis of her generation. 
  • THE DOCTOR WHO WILL EITHER HEAL YOUR PAIN OR BE THE CAUSE OF IT. 
  • Pink hair, don’t care. Fabulouuusss

3. Kushina Uzumaki 

  • She is the OG. All hail supreme goddess! 
  • JUST TAKE A MOMENT AND GAZE UPON THY CHILI SAUCE OF BEAUTY. 
  • She’s got guts, strength, charm and a nine-tailed beast cursed inside of her so ya better watch out, fam. 
  • SHE FUCKING SACRIFICED HERSELF ALONG WITH MINATO TO SAVE THEIR CHILD. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AT ITS FINEST.
  • Heart of gold
  • HER FLAMING RED HAIR REMINDS ME OF TENTACLE PORN. I KNOW! LIKE WTF?! 
  • Her WARM SMILE just lights up the perpetual darkness in my soul.
  • Dominated, conquered all them haters with her fierceness
  • MinaKushi is definitely relationship goals. 
  • ANGER MANAGEMENT CANNOT HANDLE HER
  • I cry everytime she and naruto have their family moments in the series. It’s like they remind me that I ain’t dead inside yet & that comforts me a lot. 
  • NOT YOUR TYPICAL HOUSEWIFE, YEAH SHE WILL MAKE U A SANDWICH AND IF U TICK HER OFF, SHE WILL SHOVE IT DOWN YER THROAT WITH NO REGRETS. 
  •  Easily has the best mom award hands down.

2. Tenten  

  • She will smack all the sense into you when you really need it. She is practically your idiot-avoidance therapist. be grateful
  • CUTEST LITTLE PATOOTIE YOU WILL EVER SEE
  • Oriental Aesthetic.
  • She is a lowkey comedian. I snicker at the thought of her traditional humor. Yeah fuck you, kishimoto she is hilarious af in my headcanon
  • FEMINIST ICON 
  • The big sister you wish you had. 
  • Dayum her fashion sense is always on point, teach me sensei. 
  • Lee’s own anchor, believe me he needs it. 
  • PETITION FOR TENTEN TO HAVE HER OWN DAMN SPIN-OFF SERIES.
  • She does not have a surname and we all know people with only one name are fucking lit. (Madonna, Beyonce, Adele, Eminem, Prince… Enya?) wtf
  • Her hard work and determination gives me hope. 
  • NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE HER, THEM BLADES WOULD CHOP YOU OFF FROM A MILE AWAY, HER AIM GAME IS FUCKING STRONG. 
  • Weapons Merchant in the streets, Weapons dominatrix in the sheets. 
  • SHE DESERVED BETTER
  • underneath those cute chinese hair buns and soft brown eyes are heaps of badassery & metal tools that will kill yer sorry ass. 
  • YA KNOW, HER KUNAIS DON’T LIE

1. Ino Yamanaka 

  • well, obviously were u even that surprised? Beauty, brains & talent all rolled into one gorgeous creature.
  • SHE IS THE QUEEN
  •  An overachiever, she is a botanist, a skilled medic, a housewife, topnotch interrogator, owns a flower shop, probably the head of her clan. Like wtf ino how do u do it? I can’t even balance jack shit in my life. 
  • SHIPPER’S PARADISE. I ship her with literally anybody. Just not with Akamaru but, if that floats your boat then you better get checked right away, hun.
  • I wanna know her brand of lipstick, Girl knows her make up, SALUTE.
  • HER LONG BLONDE HAIR IS A MUTHAFUCKIN WEAPON I S2G, LOOK IT UP. 
  • Miss Sunshine to all, Miss Annoying to Shikamaru. 
  • SHE STANDS UP TO BULLIES AND MAKES THEM REGRET PICKING ON OTHER PEOPLE. A+++
  • Her mind games will fuck you up.
  • HER FRIENDSHIP WITH SAKURA IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER. 
  • You secretly wish she was your bestie in real life too pls don’t deny it. 
  • I HAVE NEVER LOVED PURPLE SO DAMN MUCH.
  • Her knowledge of flowers and their meanings tho. 
  • YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG WITH THEM YAMANAKA GENES
  • I have a soft spot for sky blue eyes i’m so sorry. Nope not even sorry at all.
  • SORRY LEE, SORRY GUY-SENSEI BUT THERE IS A NEW SEXY BEAST IN KONOHA NOW
  • Beware, her loud mouth has no stop signal. 
  • SASSY INO IS THE BEST INO
A convo had between Trini and Zac
  • Trini: Zac you piece of shit, i hate you so much (softly) my cinnamon roll
  • Zac: Awwww i love you too
  • Trini: i never said i liked u let alone loved you u suck
  • Zac: (hurt) ok...
  • Trini: Ugggghhh come over here and give me a hug u little bitch
  • Follow for moar
  • Convo #2

anonymous asked:

like can u do some extreme fluff where u have only been dating for a little over a year and u guys are at annes house for a couple of weeks or something and u decide to watch a scary movie and u guys cuddly and stuff IDK I JUST NEED FLUFF OMG

Maybe Harry has picked this night, in particular, to watch a scary movie with you because it’s also storming and rainy outside and he knows how much you hate weather like this AND how much scary movies freak you out (even though you’ll insist every single time he asks that they don’t). But he’s feeling like a bit of a little shit tonight and also is craving some cuddles, so he decides to do it the annoying way by scaring you half to death in the process.

Truthfully, you hate scary movies. You hate every single time Harry suggests watching them…but you love, love, LOVE the cuddles that come with them. Because Harry knows that you’ll want him to hold you and you know that he will, without fail, wrap his arms around you every single time, squeezing each time you bury your head in his shoulder and gasp at a jump scare.

“S’okay, my love,” he’ll whisper, kissing your forehead, “I’ve got yeh. Not gonna let anythin’ hurt you, I promise.”

He’ll be getting a ton more cuddles at bedtime as well, because your imagination is always so active at night. And you know he’s done this to you on purpose but…there are worse ways you could spend an evening…

Monsta X As Fairy Tale Characters:

Hyunwoo:

·      the pure hero

·      knows he’s a cutie

·      like the boi from the little mermaid?

·      Prince eric?

·      What a cutie

·      Rugged and manly but would do ANYTHING for you

·      “Whatever makes you happy, baby”

·      would try to do princely things but would instead get embarrassed and fumble

·      u know in kdramas when the rich guy takes the poor girl out shopping and then she gets all fancy and he’s like “hot damn”?

·      that’s hyunwoo

·      except he’ll do that abt everything

·      “look at my beautiful baby. You’re gorgeous”

·      “hyunwoo, I’m wearing pajamas”

·      “and?”

Hoseok:

·      the rouge hero

·      like robin hood ya know

·      he wants everyone to have a good life

·      seduces people w his friggin sweet smile

·      also is FLYNN RYDER

·      WHAT A HUNK

·      “smoulder”

·      a soft softie

·      G R E A S Y

·      winks at you every chance he gets

·      a little weird at first but then opens up and W O W

·      so sweet and caring and if you ever hurt him istg ill fight you

Minhyuk:

·      HES THAT FUCKING BEAR FROM THE JUNGLE BOOK

·      IDGAF IF THIS ISNT A FAIRY TALE

·      Minhyuk 10/10 loves everyone and will make everyone happy

·      Big heart w lots of love

·      This also isn’t a fairy tale but he’s def abu from Aladdin

·      That monkey

·      Demands attention and u think he’s annoying

·      but just wants the best for you

·      fight me minhyuk is so sweet

·      imagine his lil monkey body hoppin around seeking attention

·      he’d prob have like some disappearing power in a story bc he likes popping up next to people to scare the shit out of ‘em

·      lmao imagine if he didn’t have the disappearing power and instead ran off into the night Naruto style with sound effects

·      bc that’s SO Minhyuk

Kihyun:

·      that fake hero bitch

·      u know the one that didn’t do shit but takes all the credit

·      “omg yeah marry me, I saved your life even though I CLEARLY DIDN’T”

·      he acts like lord farquad

·      yeah go fetch the princess for me and I’ll let you keep your swamp

·      demands that everyone respect his shrimp ass

·      imagine him in lord farquad’s outfit!!

·      also tbh he’s that fuckin candle stick from beauty and the beast

·      Lumiere or Lumer or some shit like that

·      All hoity toity with his small shrimp lookin ass

·      tbh he’s that little shit that thinks he’s all that

·      Or even fuckin Rumpelstiltskin

·      Man imagine him cackling w glee as u struggle and then sit there all prim and proper like he isn’t a total asshole

·      I don’t actually hate kihyun I love him don’t worry

·      Hes just a lil bitch and I wanna fight him

Hyungwon:

·      fairy godmother

·      “that’s not ur color, I’ll do it myself”

·      makes u a cute dress or tux to wear in front of ur love

·      ok but imagine him leaning against the doorframe with a lil wand in his hand and drawling out a lazy “twirl for me”

·      does that thing ur friend does when ur crush walks into the room

·      waggles his eyebrows and makes meaningful glances before whooshing away

·      also I can 10/10 imagine him as raja from Aladdin

·      u know the tiger that princess jasmine keeps as a fuckin pet

·      but like more specifically hyungwon is the scene at the beginning where that suitor goes storming off bc he bit his ass


Jooheon:

·      that croc from the princess and the frog

·      always jammin

·      big dreams

·      also has feelings PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS

·      wants to be accepted but acts casual abt it

·      is also the lucky cricket from Mulan

·      that isn’t a fairy tale but this shit went way off topic a long time ago

·      a hot mess tbh

·      literally crawled into the matchmaker’s tea and is the reason Mulan didn’t get matchmade which is rlly ironic considering he’s a lucky cricket

·      but also wants to help

·      just isn’t very good at it

·      ends up scaring himself most of the time

·      gets sad easily

·      responds better to praise than criticism

Changkyun:

·      im sorry I know this isn’t really a fairy tale but changkyun is literally that dragon from shrek

·      u think he’s there to do smth bad

·      but he just wants love

·      ok im sorry im deviating from the tru tag

·      uhm he’s also the lil monkey from Aladdin

·      abu?

·      Bounces allover the goddamn place

·      Have u seen ppap?

·      Yeah that’s abu

·      twirls his fuckin ass in your face if you don’t pay enough attention to him

·      or you know, plays the drums on your ass

·      he’s such a meme how do they deal with him

2

Soy feminista.
Something you could never understand- I wanted to be your equal, your companion, lover and best friend.
Maybe it was too much too ask of us, our reputation has been much too scarred the last couple of years…how could I ever expect to be your best friend too, I was hardly even a lover.
The only thing we communicated well at was making love-
U yelled and blamed me. I cried and blamed myself.
I’m sad, but okay too.
I realize I’m running out of options, I really tried to make it work.
But like you said, “I ain’t ever changing…this is what you came back to you knew what to expect.”
Yes, I expected too much.
I expected respect, a little bit of patience and a whole lot of love.
TOO much to ask.
U said I need to help myself, you can’t help me.
So of course it’s easy 4 u 2 throw my traumas back in my face.
The root of all my pain, you know what it is and in confidence I am able to confide, but when shit hits the fan you bring it to light, make a mockery of me ~ the one thing I hate about you is how you’re always so good at making me cry.
Its my fault.
Too sensitive, so u want me to change- But the faults you’ve got inside, they’re staying which means my sadness will always live inside. Its always been what it is, it’s always been what it ain’t.
Silly of me to try and make something glitter and gold when it already turned to rust.