Rogers, You Human Dorito!
Summary: Reader is on a simple mission with Sam, Steve, and Bucky. One of them makes a very poor decision that they’re sure to regret for the foreseeable future.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader (Platonic)
Word Count: 1339
Category: Fluff. Silly.
Warning: None, mention of violence, I guess. One swear word.
A/N: I honestly live for writing silly and sarcastic stories lol. This was just really fun and I hope you all like it!! Italicized font is readers thoughts.
It was supposed to be a simple snatch and grab mission. It was supposed to take no longer than thirty minutes, tops. It was not supposed to turn into the shit show that it so eloquently had become. I’m gonna destroy Steve Rogers, little patriotic prick.
The building you were infiltrating appeared long abandoned, but what it lacked in cleanliness it more than made up for in annoying hidden triggers. You and Steve had been inside heading towards the mainframe to access the data point while Sam and Bucky patrolled the outer grounds. That was until Dumb-Dumb Rogers triggered a silent alarm, quickly setting forth all out chaos. Red lights began flashing brightly and obnoxiously while a siren wailed throughout the building. Alright, so they lost subtlety really quick there huh?
“Rogers, you giant, walking human Dorito!” You cried out over the assault of lights and sounds. “What the hell did you do?!”