i hate this moment

anonymous asked:

I have a question and I hope you don't hate me but why do people get made when people have Mari be a little insecure? I mean, I get not being totally self-hating because she DOES have huge moments of confidence, but even after Stoneheart she still says stuff like: "Tikki, you've probably had better Ladybugs/I can't do this!" I get not wanting her to find validation in Adrien, but I think she still has self-esteem problems. Plus she's a teenager. Everyone has problems with themselves as teens.

oh no, don’t misunderstand me, marinette definitely has self-conscious moments. she’s not a monolith of confidence, and she definitely has moments where she doubts her own abilities. like you said, she’s a teenager and she’s a human being, that’s inevitably going to happen. 

when i say “cripplingly insecure,” i’m talking about that self-hating, self-deprecating characterization people like to give her which i think goes a touch too far. i don’t think ladybug would ever be afraid of revealing her identity to chat noir because he thinks he won’t be impressed with marinette. she doesn’t know who chat noir is, and as far as she’s concerned, chat noir meeting marinette would be like chat noir meeting a stranger he doesn’t know. i don’t hink marinette would assume “oh no chat noir is going to think i’m so ordinary and nothing special even though he doesn’t know who i am and has no reason to think those things.”

that kind of thinking comes from a place of major self-deprecation and self-hatred, and i don’t think marinette shows that. she may thinks she’s clumsy or she may think she’s incapable of being a superhero, but the girl knows she’s a brilliant designer and would never assume her designs are awful unless she knew she underperformed (as an example). when she’s fighting as ladybug, she is super confident in her abilities and very rarely assumes she can’t do something. 

i think marinette’s biggest source of insecurity is that she thinks she can’t be a hero without her costume on. that’s less an issue of her being self-deprecating, and more an issue of her learning to realize that doing small acts of good and being a hero on the small scale is just as admirable

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
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Yoonkook Week Day 1: Favorite moment(ssssss)