i hate this get it away from me

Obama’s Top Three Things He Regrets Not Doing as President

(PICTURED: Me, Barack Obama, the U.S. President from 2009-2017)

My time as the President of the United States was the best time of my life. To serve you, the American people, was a honor. Not every time was great, like the times Joe tried to get me into this band called “Phish”; but I’m glad we made the most of it. I do regret not fulfilling all of my campaign promises though. I’ve compiled a list of the top three promises I regret not making true.

3. Taking All of Your Guns Away

I hate those fucking mouth-breathing chickenshit rednecks that kept threatening to assassinate me and establishing militias while I was in office. I would love to pry their precious little guns right from their fucking hands while they cry, and I would lower myself to their ear and say “save the crocodile tears for later bitch.” Really though, I hope those buck-toothed bastards die. I hate every single one of those smelly fucks.

2. Establishing National Sharia Law

I REALLY regret this one. It wasn’t my fault though. Every time I was about to surprise everyone with an executive order that said “Enact National Sharia Law Starting Now!”, those conservative radio loonies would always predict it RIGHT before it happened. How the hell did they know that I was about to do it? I’m willing to bet someone in my staff was leaking the info to them. I never found who the squealer was, but I would have showed them a new definition of pain if I found them. If there’s one thing I hate more than hillbillies, it’s snitches.

1. Initiating Communism in America

This one is the one I will regret all of my life. I wasn’t even close to establishing the perfect communist state. Not even damn close. It makes me so upset, you wouldn’t know. Just ask Michelle. The closet I ever got was with the Affordable Care Act, and that was only a fraction of actual universal health care, what I really wanted. And now with that orange dipshit Donald in office, all of that will more than likely go away. The only thing I have going for me is that Donald doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing. I mean, look at him! Dude is legit going to have a stroke within a year. I’m gonna be so fucking happy when I see him have one while giving a half-ass speech that only his braindead fans will like.

I would like to thank tumbler-real-news for letting me reveal my greatest regrets while in office. It was an honor to write to you. Stay safe, and also stay sane. You know it will be hard while the Talking Cheeto is in office!

projectendo replied to your post “Ok so im gonna be honest Self depriciating/rly morbid humor is…”

ngl my therapist got me to stop self deprecating and belittling myself and it Changed Me

like honestly

i know it’s a hard thing to do, harder for some than others

And its not my business how people go about their own recovery, and everyone has different experiences so this is NOT me telling other people how to cope, this is NOT me telling people to change THEIR behavior. This is just ME. I wanna make that super clear. I am not telling anyone how they should behave or cope, or what they should do about their mental illness or self worth troubles. 

I feel so much better the more I get away from self depreciating humor and try to dial back self depreciation in general. 

It was less helping me cope and more normalizing and reinforcing negative feelings i had about myself.  it made hating myself feel like a normal reality that I might as well laugh at bc its not going away.  And then I was like. I really dont want hating myself to feel normal.  I feel like i said “Im the worst” so much that it was just. Fact.  Like hearing it from someone else, but I was hearing it from me. Part of me knew that wasnt true but I believed it because it was so prevalent in my mind all the time. 

So I kind of tried to get away from that sense of humor, stopped using those jokes as much, i try to catch myself when i start to tear myself apart and just. Stop.  Derail the thought train that always ends me up in a worse place.  

I know this doesnt apply to everyone.  I cant pretend to know how other people cope and how humor helps them. But it was hurting me PERSONALLY more than it was helping.  I feel better now. I dont have “I hate myself” on loop in my head all day every day like I did.  I still dont love myself.  But I dont hate myself as much.  I feel lighter.  

Exo is so popular that EXO-L is like a loud chanting cult at this point 😂😂😂 Completely taking over any show that Exo attends, amazing. I even get second-hand embarrassment sometimes. (I’m old, sorry)
It actually scares me and I pulled away from EXO because of it but don’t hate me, I still like Exo!
I hope ARMYs aren’t gonna get as crazy with the chanting while a member tries to present something but damn…

I get so upset at myself and my work that I sometimes almost impulsively delete everything. Don’t let me do this. I might have to step away AGAIN… yikes sorry.

I don’t usually post like this, but. What do you guys do to keep yourself from quitting? Or deleting everything? Or just generally hating your art? I know I have a lot of other comic makers out there.

What was really going down outside the Jeep
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Stiles:</b> *is giving an incredibly beautiful and heartbreaking speech to Lydia about what she means to him and what he wants her to remember about him*<p/><b>Ghost Rider 1:</b> *waiting outside the Jeep* So, shouldn't we be taking him right now?<p/><b>Ghost Rider 2:</b> *also waiting outside Jeep* *looks through window and sees stydia talking* Not yet. This is the good part.<p/><b>Ghost Rider 1:</b> ???<p/><b>Ghost Rider 3:</b> *watching Stydia with heart eyes* They're so beautiful.<p/><b>Stiles:</b> Remember I love you.<p/><b>All 3 Ghost Riders:</b> *sigh*<p/><b>Ghost Rider 2:</b> Okay. Take him now.<p/><b>Ghost Rider 1:</b> That seems a little cruel man. He did just say he loves her.<p/><b>Ghost Rider 2:</b> Um, we're not the good guys.<p/><b>Ghost Rider 1:</b> Oh yeah lol. Rip him out the car.<p/><b>Ghost Rider 3:</b> *still has heart eyes* *rips Stiles out of the car* So beautiful.<p/><b>Stiles:</b> ???<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
Seijou Players As (More) Things That Have Been Said In My Workplace

Oikawa: Joke’s on you, as my employee you’re contractually obligated to come to my funeral!

Iwaizumi: I kind of want to adopt you… if only so I could ground you and take away your internet.

Hanamaki: Look, I know the scones are a best seller, but they’re a bitch to make so I hate them on principle.

Matsukawa: I’m sorry, it sounds like you’re asking me to be unhappy about something while I’m holding a tray filled with fresh cooked bacon. I’m afraid I can’t do both and you will pry this bacon from my cold, dead hands.

Yahaba: I know our relationship is based heavily on sarcasm but right now I am being so serious when I say get the fuck out of my kitchen.

Kyoutani: Overtime?? Ugh, it’s bad enough I had to leave my house to get here…

Watari: HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT!! Everyone eat a cupcake and relax!

Kindaichi: (whispering) Why is everyone so gentle with the croissants, but so rough with my feelings?

Kunimi: Look, you’re my boss. And it is very important to me that you understand that that is the only reason I’m not flipping you off right now.

other blogs: “this blog is a NO ship hate blog!!! I’ll ship anything and if i don’t, i don’t judge people based on their ships!!!”
me: “y'all motherfuckers better get that nasty racist, homophobic, abusive, pedo shit away from me before i whip out the holy water and the crucifix and start exorcising the devil out your asses.”

voltron s2 thoughts n whatever

• EVERYONE STOP BEING MEAN TO KEITH 2017
• shiro getting mad is my favorite thing but he would be a bad baby sitter
• hunk and pidge are pure
• I FEEL LIKE NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT KEITH SUMMONED THE RED LION FROM SO FAR AWAY !!! HE DID IT !!!
• fucking sheith feels oh my god i am blessed (antis/klance shippers who are hating, back the fuck away from me. i ship both and look at me)
• SHAY IS PRECIOUS AND WILL ALWAYS BE
• #giveshiroabreak2k17
• shiro bonding with the black lion
• someone give keith a hug
• GALRA!KEITH IS CANON OH MY FUCKING GO D
• hunk could be a fuckin chef he is so great a beautiful
• mermaids !!! lance got kissed !!!
• keith has southern roots no one fight me on this
• coran was perfect this season 10/10
• voltron team at the mall
• bye zarkon no one likes you
• keith in ep8 is my aesthetic
• pidge and the outdoors and the roots and all that
• pidge in general actually. i love when she talks mathematically and scientifically
• pidge
• keith and hunk moments • lance is a sharpshooter
• allura learned stuff and did things and proud of the space mom
• the part with lance and keith getting stuck in the elevator = emperors new groove. I loved that scene
• shallura moments
• everyone needs to stop complaining that this season wasn’t mainly focused around lance. we got major keith development so chill tf out. • ¿??
• keith

we need to stop framing bi women’s relationships w men as being equal to straight women’s relationships w men.

when lesbians make posts like “WHY should i uplift & praise & reward bi women in relationships w men when the rest of society does that!” i get it.

like believe me, as a lesbian who hates men and resents herself for not dating men, i DEFINITELY get where this sentiment comes from.

but it’s…. honestly really biphobic.

because the truth is society at large (read: cishet people) reward bi women for absolutely NOTHING. when dating men bi women have their identities erased & are deliberately pushed away from the lgbt by straight people because they don’t “really” like the same gender. straight people drive a wedge between bi women dating or married to men and the lgbt because straight people are DESPERATE to find any way to make “half gay/half straight” (read: bi ppl) into Truly Straight people

and this is incredibly harmful to bi women, esp because the lgbt community can be and often is incredibly biphobic and unwilling to validate or accept bi women dating men. and again!!! i understand why lesbians have hangups about “supporting” women who are dating men, but at the end of the day…. whether you’re trying to be biphobic or not you’re still hurting bi women.

and because of this i think we need to change the way we talk about bi women in m/f relationships. we need to stop ascribing them the same social power as straight women. we need to stop pretending that bi women are rewarded for dating men in the same way that straight women are, because they aren’t.

i know it’s hard for lesbians to even acknowledge men, but… it would be good of us to let bi women know that NO MATTER WHAT we are their allies, and as much as we are repulsed by straight m/f relationships it is only right for us to still support bi women who date men.

straight people’s “acceptance” of bi women in relationships w men comes at the expense of them giving up their identity & further forcing them away from the Icky Gay Community, which means that straight people have never been and never will TRULY accept bi women.

and instead of falsely assuming that they do & pretending like this grants them privilege, we need to step up and assure that the LGBT will always be a safe space for bi women & that we will ALWAYS respect their identities no matter who they date.

it is biphobic to equate the relationships straight women have with men to the relationships bi women have with men, and to imply that they are the same is unfair & alienating to bi women, point blank.

bi folks & esp bi women have asserted over and over that bisexuality is a unique identity and not a mixture of gay and straight, and honestly i feel like a lot of us gay folks have let that go in one ear and out the other.

being bi is a unique experience, and bi women are and have always been a part of our community.

we owe them unconditional love and acceptance in the way that straight people never have and probably never will. it is our duty as the sisters and allies to bi women, and it is the very least we can do.

This season is great and all, but no matter what happens, I will never get over the fact that Jeff has wasted so much potential.

Just to go through a few examples:

He tossed Kira away, a useful and powerful sweetheart who’s story wasn’t over yet…

And gave us an evil piece of trash cannibal teacher who’s only good quality is his looks.

We lost Isaac…

And got Liam…. (I mean no hate against Liam but… seriously?)

The McCall pack is not what it used to be. We had all of these amazing characters…

Plus Allison…

And Derek…

And now three nearly useless freshmen have all of his unnecessary screentime which takes away from the screentime of the people who are actually relevant.

We had two pairings who developed enough for viewers to love…

And that was all snatched away within an episode, and in return, Jeff Davis gave the viewers, well… y’know.

And do not even get me started on the fact that Jeff baited at Scisaac an Sterek for so long…

And instead of getting Scisaac and Sterek, we got Morey. And like okay, they’re kinda cute or whatever, but that’s not what was built up on and that’s not even close to being what viewers wanted.

We asked for the Sheriff and Melissa who could’ve been together since the series fucking started…

And instead we got Claudia, like are you fucking kidding me? (And yes I lowkey ship Melissa and Chris but potential down the drain on the Sheriff and Melissa. They were the pairing that everyone wanted to see together. It’s the last season, why are they not a thing yet?)

I’ll end here, but point is, wasted potential, always. And that’s why I’ll never be 100% satisfied with what Jeff has left to give, because all he does is throw away some of the best development.

Ok so I have been wanting to just stay away from all the drama that is revolving around the ships in Yuri on Ice and just enjoy my goddamn ice skating babies but I’m really starting to get annoyed. I do not understand how people are calling OtaYuri an “inappropriate” and calling the people who ship it pedophiles just because Otabek turned 18 A LITTLE OVER A MONTH AGO. All the antis are saying that because Otabek is no longer considered a child (by American standards. I mean the dude could vote, see a rated R movie alone and buy tobacco in the US and that’s it.) the ship falls under pedophilia. But here’s the thing when I was 15 I was a dumbass kid who didn’t know shit and when I was 18 I was still a dumbass kid who didn’t know shit! (Was gonna say I was taller but I think I stopped growing around 14 😅) I was literally the same person my entire time in high school and my brain was on the same maturity level all the way up until college (now I’m just 22 and salty because I can’t enjoy a damn anime and fandom the way I used to when I was in high school). There is literally 2 and a half years between the two! By American school systems that would be a sophomore and a senior dating, which in the school I went to was a pretty normal thing! And the fact that people automatically assume that sex is gonna happen just because the two are in a relationship is by far the dumbest assumption I have ever heard.
TL;DR: OtaYuri is a perfectly fine ship. And if people, like myself, want to ship the two because of the wonderful chemistry they had in one short (but amazing) episode, they shouldn’t have to listen to all this bullshit. There is literally nothing wrong with this ship or LeoJi for that matter! However there is something wrong with people intentionally making others feel like shit for realizing the chemistry and wanting to see more of it. I think what I don’t understand the most is that I have literally NEVER seen any kind of drama like this in Haikyuu fandom when LevYaku, BokuAka, KuroTsukki, AND KyoYachi all have an almost identical age gap within the pairing as OtaYuri and a larger one than the gap between LeoJi…

a JuminZen wedding crasher fanfic idea

(aka I have so many fics to write SOMEONE TAKE THIS IDEA AWAY FROM ME)

  • it all starts when Chairman Han wants Jumin to get married to Sarah Choi
  • Jumin hates the idea but goes through with it because it makes his dad and the company happy
  • Jumin complains about it on the messenger
  • on the night before the wedding Zen realizes Jumin will bind himself forever to some crappy woman and his brain is like HEYO DO YOU FINALLY GET IT YOU TSUNDERE
  • Wedding day arrives, it takes place in a really fancy church with a shitton of reporters
  • Jumin is fucking miserable because Sarah is clinging to him like an octopus and won’t stfu about her wedding night
  • The priest is taking their vows and he wonders if ‘please kill me’ would be rude to say
  • Suddenly! Zen bursts through the church door
  • “I OBJECT!”
  • Zen knows how to make an entrance
  • He runs towards Jumin who looks really good in his black tux
  • tells him not to marry her
  • “She doesn’t love you. But I do.”
  • GASP
  • Jumin is really overwhelmed??
  • kisses the actor right there and then
  • Sarah is screaming
  • Glam Choi faints
  • a million camera flashes
  • Zen grabs his hand and runs out of the church with him
  • Jumin probably expects his dad to disown him but that’s okay
  • (makes a mental note to pick up Elizabeth 3rd when that happens)
  • the next day newspapers, magazines, EVERYTHING has pictures of the wedding
  • Chairman Han is pissed at first but then discovers he was gonna get scammed
  • the entire RFA goes wild
  • 707 demands a wedding

anonymous asked:

Request for RFA + Saeran when MC goes out with them somewhere but gets harassed/ hit on by random guys,, nothing reALLY serious but still uncomfortable?? (this happened to me the other day and i was like ??? why me ?? treat women right ???) THANK YOUS <3 ^^

A/N: This happens to me aLL THE TIME GOD I HATE IT I’m sorry it happened to you nonnie!!! I almost gotten in a few fights over this 10/10 do not recommend, stay safe y'all  ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

           - YANDERE YOOSUNG

           -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

           -No but honestly, he gets uncomfortable right alongside you!

           -Like?? This guy walked right up to you and started using pick up lines?

           -He completely ignored the fact that Yoosung was right there!

           -The only thing he could think to do was get you right out of there

           -He’ll grab your hand and drag you very far away from that guy

           -If he tries to keep you there though?

           -That’s when Yoosung gets s c a r y

           -His face will get dark, his voice will get quiet, and his stare can rival Saeran’s resting bitch face. You can bet that this guy will n e v e r hit on you again

*ZEN:

           -You were waiting for him after the show when this guy came up to you

           -He kept trying to use pick up lines like, “Hey, can I get behind the scenes of your clothes?”

           - that was lame im sorry lmfao

           -This guy just wouldn’t let up???

           -When Zen walked up behind the guy, he heard all of the vulgar things he was suggesting

           -How daRE HE SAY SUCH THINGS TO HIS PRINCESS

           -He’ll turn this guy around, and….

           -PUNCH IN THE FACE!!!!!

           - is this sounding familiar? good bc it is lmao, whAT ELSE WOULD HE DO?!?!?!?

           -Makes sure this guy knows that you’re off the market breaks his nose, never sees him again

*JAEHEE:

           -Why is this guy hitting on you can he not see you’re obviously not interested in him?

           -Or, like, interested in men at all?

           -You’re literally holding hands with her, walking down the street when this guy just walked right up to the two of you

           -Not only did he hit on you, but he hit on her too?

           -Disgust clearly written on her face

           -She’s ready to just drag you away and ignore him

           -If he lays a hand on either of you though, juDO JAEHEE

           -She’ll check on you multiple times throughout the rest of the day to make sure you’re really okay

           -She didn’t like that he made you uncomfortable!!!

           -SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT HER SHE JUST WANTS TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE OKAY MC STOP ASKING

*JUMIN:

           -He should have brought you up to his office with him

           -He’s not sure why he didn’t, perhaps because he was in a rush to get out of there?

           -Just wanted to go home and spend some time with you!!!

           -When he got back down to the bottom floor, however, he saw one of his workers flirting with you

           -Did this guy have his lips…on your hand?

           -Did he NOT know that you were his???

           -He’ll walk up and wrap his arm around your waist, and pull you closer

           -This guy immediately straightens up and freaks out

           -No second chances with Mr. Trustfund Kid

           -Fires him on the spot, apologizes to you for leaving you alone and vows to never do it again also lowkey announces to everyone in the business that you’re his don’t touch his MC

*SAEYOUNG:

           -You took him grocery shopping because???

           -You can’t just live on chips and soda

           - i dont care what you say saeyoung its not possible

           -He didn’t even have to look away for this dude to walk up to you and start flirting

           -Um?? Hello?? Literally standing with my boyfriend??? Go away

           -This guy refused to believe this Saeyoung was your boyfriend and just kept going

           -So, since he was so fixated on you, Saeyoung stole his wallet and literally hacked his bank account right in front of him

           -This guy never noticed??? Like wtf?? How do you not?

           -He had enough and finally just turned you around, and put you in between him and the front of the cart

           -Steered you down the aisle and away from the other guy, dropped the matter but at home he definitely was clingier than he normally was

*V:

           -Isn’t sure why there’s another man’s hand on your shoulder?

           -Maybe you know this guy

           -When he sees the discomfort on your face, however, he realizes

           -‘Oh wait maybe MC doesn’t know them’

           -He’ll come over and secretly pull you close enough to him that the other guy’s hand drops off of you

           -Starts a conversation with the guy so he doesn’t notice this happening, though

           -He knows you’re very attractive, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys others touching you

           - Don’t touch his MC please

           - Also please don’t confront him he doesn’t like it

           -He’ll tell the guy off but he does so in such a subtle, roundabout way that you can’t tell what even happened

*SAERAN:

           -Death Stare

           -Don’t look at his MC, don’t touch his MC,

           -Don’t even BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS HIS MC

           -The only way someone would come up and hit on you is if this guy was stupid, had a death wish, or you were alone

           -You just so happened to be sitting, waiting for Saeran to come back from grabbing some drinks

           -When some guy came up and decided it was a good idea to hit on you

           -The pickup lines left you cringing

           -Saeran could see the disgust and how uncomfortable you were from a mile away

           -Literally R I P S this guy out of the chair and away from you, throwing him to the ground

           -Pays literally no attention to him after that, if he tries to start something he’ll glare at the guy, and he goes RUNNING NOT TODAY SATAN

so i’ve become the girl who cries wolf and then finds a home inside of the wolf’s belly / i told everyone i hated you but every time, i was lying / i told everyone to unfriend you on all social media and deemed them bad friends if they didn’t / i told everyone at parties that you are a mean, vindictive person / the thing is, though, i really believed it at the time / i really thought when i punched you in the face and blocked your number, i could walk away from you and be alright / but in the morning, i texted you and apologized because i felt so bad / and in the end, i forgive you for the pain you’ve shed / i hate you / i love you / get away from me / come closer / i can’t stand the way you make me feel / i’ve never felt anything better / i told everyone i’d never go back to you but here i am again / it’s like every day is a screaming match with myself and i’m a sucker for dramatics / i can’t help it when you’re the only person who has ever made me feel wanted / i mean, sure, you’re doing it with three other girls but when you say you miss me, i still believe it / so yeah, people are so sick of hearing me cry about you and then hearing about me waking up in your bed / if i don’t even want the best for myself why should they want it for me instead / i don’t know, i just want to see the day where i stop screaming / i don’t know, i just want to see the day where i stop feeling
—  wolf girl