i hate this damn shot

Young God – General Hux x Reader

Anonymous asked: ‘General Hux x Fem!Reader! Reader is Kylo Ren’s younger sister, whom he is extremely overprotective of. She has caught Hux’s eye and he’s caught hers. Sexual tension and pure chaos ensues (I’m traaaaaash).’

A/N: I don’t write smut but I was happy to write the rest (((: I’m Hux trash and I have no idea how many times I’ve re-wrote this.

I changed it up a bit so the reader is Kylo’s twin or what not + the song Young God by Halsey helped me to write the final draft so love me please.

Warnings: Implied smut and annoyed Kylo Ren.


You stood on the bridge of the First Order base, looking out of the window ahead of you. Hands behinds your back and inhaling in and out sharply once and while, Supreme Leader Snoke’s words echoing in your head over and over again.

“I can sense light in you, I hope you’re not turning soft because you’re accompanying your brother, Kylo Ren aboard… are you?”

“Of course not, Supreme Leader”

When Kylo had found out that Snoke had spoken those words towards you, he had threw a fit of rage in his quarters, causing you to act fast and using the force to throw his dysfunctional cross guard lightsaber out of his hand.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and you turned around sharply facing your boyfriend, General Hux. Staring into his caramel eyes, you turned back around to the window.

“You need to get your mind off things, Y/N you’re so tense…” Hux whispered lowly while looking around, making sure no one was looking or listening, you bit your lip holding your smile back knowing what the General was indicating. “So what do you suggest, wise General?” you turned to him, raising your eyebrows.

Hux licked his lips and couldn’t help but flash a smug smile, “I think you already know what I have in mind my dear Y/N.”


Keep reading

COUGH SYRUP (phan oneshot)

A one shot that takes place during TATINOF where Phil gets hella sick and Daniel has to take care of him.

RATING: pg-13 because of Dans mouth, lots of innapropriate lad jokes and Dan’s body shipping it more than entire phandom.

(THIS COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN SMUTTY AF BUT I REFRAINED)

Category: FLUFFY AF

🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

“Literally it’s only going to get worse if you don’t take anything for your fever or sinuses Philip.” The slightly whiny 25 year old stood at the end of the bed with his hands on his hips.

The duo were in the middle of the United States, touring for TATINOF. That is until Phil contracted some kind of illness that was like Tuberculosis and the bubonic plague had a love child and that love child jacked off the common cold and they decided to infect Phil. So insted of spending the 3 days between shows sleeping and being a cheesy tourist, he was stuck playing nurse maid for a grown ass adult.

“Dannnnnnn… it tastes like cheep liquor and sadness.” The whining of his best friend, who was sulking on the master bed. His body was draped in heavy ass blankets and he was propped up with about 5 pillows. All Dan could do is throw his head back and grown in frustration. “Philip Michael Lester, you are 29 years old and you can’t take a quick shot of cough syrup and give me the pleasure of at least being able to sleep better?!?” Dan’s voice rose an Octave, like it usually did when he was whining or complaining.

The older man shrugged and paused to sneeze aggressively, moaning quietly. “Dude, can you not make sex noises when I’m at the foot of your bed. Wait until I leave, Jesus Christ.”

“Sorry Danny.” His best friend murmured quietly and Dan rolled his eyes. “Do you have a sickness sneeze kink? I don’t think even our subscribers could think of something  that creepy. That is saying something…”

Phil’s shoulders shook as he tried to giggle but he just weakly made some kind of wheezing sound and started to cough aggressively. Dan, did almost feel bad for him. Almost

“Phil did you get your shots today?” Dan called into the lounge of their flat from the kitchen, where he was serving  himself a slice of pizza from the box. It was April and before he and Phil traveled any more he wanted to make sure they both get their shots. Literally the last thing he wanted to contract was the fucking plague from touring with their stage show.

Phil didn’t respond, which was rare because the man could talk and talk sometimes. And Dan was annoyed “Philip Lester…did you skip your doctor’s appointment today while I was filming a video.” The younger man marched in the lounge and crossed his arms and looked at Phil accusingly. The pale cheeks of his best friend tinted pink instantly as he shook his head. Looking up at dan with wide innocent eyes from his side of the sofa.

Dan has had romantic feelings for Phil for a while, but sometimes he despised the man. This was one of those times. No amount of cuteness was going to distract him this time, luckily Phil was oblivious.

“Philip Lester! Don’t you dare lie to me. We are going to different countries and what if we contract malaria or something from foreigners.” An exaggeration but what Phil didn’t know didn’t hurt him.

“Daniel I am afraid of needles! And I got most of my shots when we went together. I just needed to get my flu shot. I didn’t want to go alone.” Dan sighed. The last time Phil got for a flu shot he kicked the nurse in the vagina. An accident, of course, because Phil was about as violent as Bambi prancing around in a fucking meadow.

Phil smiled sheepishly as Dan called the doctors office, (because Phil was to awkward to reschedule) scheduling an appointment for the next morning at 9 AM.

Phil promised to go and get the shot the next morning and he came back with a bandaid on his upper arm, so the younger boy just assumed he got the shot and they had nothing to worry about.

“Philip Michael Lester, Did you lie about getting your flu shot?” Dan’s arms crossed over his chest and his friends body tensed. “What makes you think that? Daniel would I lie to you?” Phil’s voice was husky and sensual, like it usually was when he was sick. Always a blessing to that phangirls and a curse for Dan’s sexuality.

“I can’t answer that because usually when you try to lie you fail miserably.” His skinny jean clad legs marched him to the side of the bed, so he can look down at his best friend in suspicion. Phil’s cheeks (which usally tinted a pastel aesthetic shade of pink when the man tried to fib) were to flushed with fever to give him away.

“Phil Lester, if I find out you’re lying I will tell the Internet about the time I caught you rubbing one out while watching Shane Dawson conspiracy theory videos.” The younger boy threatened with a blank expression and Phil panicked.

“You wouldn’t.” The man’s voice tensed as he sat up in the bed, his flushed fevery face growing pale. Ironically this made his skin tone look more real. Dan smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Try me bitch.”

“Okay. Then I’ll tell the Internet about the pinata nudes you sent Smosh when you were in vegas. They will eat that shit up.” Phil crossed his arms in challenge.

“Then I’ll have to just murder you.” The younger replied flatly and his friend let out a weak laugh “Thank God. I’m dying of the plague anyway. The sweet release of death is all I want.”

Dan grabbed the tylonal syrup and spoon of the dresser “Don’t give me your fucking sass Philip.”

“Oops, I did it again!”

That’s when he snapped. He threw the bottle of medication onto the bed and and it plopped a short distance away from Phil’s hips on the duvet. He used his entire body strength to pin his friends body down and in the least sexy way possible try to some how move on top of Phil “You’re taking medication, so help me God.”

Phil’s signature yelp of suprise escaped as his friend’s weight fell on top of him “No. There is no was in hell Danny.” He used the hated nickname of his flatmate as he tried to feel around for the syrupy bottle. His hands trying to pinch and poke Dan.

The 25 year old thought about a situation similar to this before but he didn’t realize that until Phil was squirming against him. He blushed a bit and let out a sigh of relief as he found liquid medication and sat up, his legs draping over either side of the elder boys body.

Well he knew what he was going to think about at 2 A.M.

“Dan I know you’re loving this right now but I would rather you not drool on me.” Phil muttered sarcastically while his body stilled a bit. He rolled his eyes and scoffed “Yes. Forced spoon feeding you like an infant is at the top of my kink list, Phil.”

He uncapped the bottle and carefully poured the thick syrup into the spoon.  “Open up, Philly.” Dan said in a sing-songy voice as the 29 year old stubbornly shook his head.

“Then I’m not moving. No more smutty Shane Dawson marathons for you.” The man beneath him raised a flirtatious eyebrow, reminding him of flirtatious 2009 Phil that once made 1,000 teenage girls hit puberty. Dan felt his face heat up and hoped his face was the only place blood was rushing.

His best friend obviously noticed the blushing and smirked, his long, pale fingers slowly moving to rest on his knee. He made his index and middle fingers slowly start to walk up his leg before Dan let out a soft squeak.

“Daniel, I always can find something else to -” the younger man quickly shoved the spoonful of syrup into Phil’s mouth. He smirked triumphantly as he heard the soft gulping of the body beneath him, followed by the violent shudder of disgust.

“Told you that you would take it.” Dan said with a sweet smile as Phil’s face scoweled. “I hate you”

“Next time just get a god damn, bloody fucking flu shot instead of being a twat.” He gently moved off Phil’s lap and onto the floor again. “Also, try to have more self control when I’m on top of you Philip. Your inner perv is showing.” The giddy boy skipped to the door with a smile.

Phil scoffed from bed and rolled his eyes “I can control myself. It’s just my fever is messing with my body.” He mumbled and his friend sent a cheeky wink back at him. “Fevers can’t cause boners the last time I checked. I’ll be back later to give you more.”

Dan left the bedroom briskly and Phil just groaned in annoyance.

Maybe he should get his shot next time.


(Come with me…and you’ll be…IN A WORLD OF SEXUAL FRUSTRATION )

She’s With Me...(Technically)

RQ: can you do an imagine of justin and y/n being best friends, they both love each other but they don’t say anything, they are at a pool party with the squad and justin gets jealous when za says to him he thinks about asking y/n out.

Date me. Kiss me. Love me. 

At least that’s what I wanted to say. Never have I ever said, “Date Hailey. Kiss Hailey. Love Hailey.” but look where the fuck that turned out.

Justin has to have figured it out by now that I absolutely, positively cannot function without him in my life. I’m in love with him. But he’s my best friend, and that’s what we’ll always be.

Date me. Kiss me. Love me.

At least that’s what I wanted her to say. Never have I ever said “Go out with Za. Flirt with Za. Be with Za and crush my fucking soul.”

He has to have known that I love Y/N by now. I mean I talk about her every day of my life, and she’s always on my mind. Screw it, I’m in love with Y/N. But she’s my best friend, and that’s what we’ll always be.

“JB, you never answered.” Za smacked me on the shoulder.

“What did you say?” I asked, snapping out of my thoughts.

“Can I ask her out or what? I know you’ve got high standards for the guys she dates cause you care about her so much. That’s why I wanna ask you first.”

Damn right I have high standards. Wanna know why? The only qualifications you need to have in order to be able to date Y/N is to be born with the name Justin Drew Bieber. What do I even do? I can’t say “no you can’t date her.” That’d be a dick ass move. But I can’t say “Yeah, Za. Go ahead and date her. In fact, run up to her and make out with her while I stab myself in the chest, god dammit.”

And today? At a pool party? Where she looks even prettier than the day before? I only have one option here.

“Um, yeah sure man. Thanks for asking.” I quietly nodded my head and walked away.

I ran into the kitchen to just clear my head for a second. Was I even ready for my best friend to date the love of my life? Could I even stand the fact of that happening? I wish everyone knew about my love for  Y/N. It would make moments like this one ten times easier.

“Justin?” I called, walking into the kitchen. I knew I saw him run in here. I turned the corner where he leaned over on the counter, his head in his hands. Ah! He’s shirtless! Oh my God, Y/N have some damn self control. I mean, you’re in a bikini, so if you got it, flaunt it. 

“Dude, what’s the matter?” I asked as he looked up.

“If I could tell you, I so would. But I can’t.” He laughed.

“Well, fine. If that’s the way you wanna treat a best friend.” I laughed along, sitting across from him.

He looked so cute as he rubbed the back of his newly shaved head. Holy shit. What would you do if you were in my situation? I’m here in a kitchen with the sexiest man alive standing right across from me. I have to tell him. I don’t even care if what Za told me isn’t true. This could change the way we feel towards each other, but it’s worth it. It is so worth it.

“You’ll never guess what Za just asked me.”

This was it. The one thing I didn’t want to hear. But I’ll play along as if it isn’t going to break my heart.

“What?” I asked, smiling.

“He asked me if I was interested in someone.” She giggled.

“And what did you say?” I continued, wanting to know every last bit of their conversation.

“I started dropping hints. I mean, I figured it was pretty obvious.” 

Oh, no. She likes him back! I knew it, I should’ve told her sooner.

“So then what did he say?”

“He said, ‘There’s a boy in that kitchen who loves you. More than just a friend. I was gonna ask you out, Y/N. But I could never do that. Go, and don’t come out of that kitchen until you’re a couple.”

My eyes widened. Two things could happen here:  Y/N could think I’m a fool, realize I have no chance with her, and never speak to me again. OR maybe there’s the teeniest tiniest possibility she has mutual feelings. My face turned red and my hands started shaking. 

“I love you, Y/N. I don’t care what you think of me, just know that I’m absolutely, positively in love with you. You drive me shit-crazy and if you don’t kiss me right now, I think I just might die.”

And then it happened.

And then it happened.

I kissed him. There was never a greater feeling in the world. I spent four years hiding this from him. Never did I ever think I’d be in this exact position with my best friend, I mean boyfriend Justin Drew Bieber.

She kissed me. I’ve never felt a love so strong. I spent four and a half years keeping this secret from her. It was only in my dreams that I got to kiss her. I finally get to be the only man for my best friend, I mean girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N.

50% OFF Ep 14 Best Quotes

“I’m like a proud father, except not. That would be weird with all the sex”

“Uh hey, Rei? Take your sass n’ put it in your pocket”

“Hey only God can judge” “Oh does he give out restraining orders too?” “Mm, fair,”

“I like my bones Kou. I’m not taking any chances”

“We had a guy on the team with corny yellow teeth, went swimming in the ocean one day- BOOM hit by a jet ski. Really makes you think. Brush your teeth kid”

“I am sorry ocean goblin! I have trespassed against you!”

“There’s a disturbance in the ocean- it wants blood”

“Okay you know what? This rescue mission doesn’t need your sass. I told you to keep it in your pocket”

“Why is Makoto so heavy? I don’t know…you think we’d be used to it ya know, carrying the swim team all the time”

“Let me through, I’m a doctor” “You’re a dentist!” “I’m the best damn shot we’ve got”

“I hate the ocean, I HATE THE OCEAN. FUCKING PISS”

MUST Read & Watch: Chomsky Blasts 'American Sniper' and the Media that Glorifies It

The famed professor draws a disturbing parallel between “Sniper” and our “global assassination program.”

By Janet Allon via alternet

Noam Chomsky had some choice words about the popularity of “American Sniper,” its glowing New York Times review, and what the worship of a movie about a cold-blooded killer says about the American people.

It’s not good.

During a Cambridge, Massachusetts event hosted by The Baffler, Chomsky first read the glowing recent review the New York Times gave the movie. That review begins inauspiciously by insulting, “America’s coastal intelligentsia, which has busied itself with chatter over little-seen art dramas while everyday Americans showed up en masse for a patriotic, pro-family picture which broke all attendance records in its opening days.” 

So, Chomsky wonders aloud: “What was the patriotic, pro-family film that so entranced everyday Americans? It’s about the most deadly sniper in American history, a guy named Chris Kyle, who claims to have used his skills to have killed several hundred people in Iraq.”

Kyle’s first kill was a woman who apparently walked into the street with a grenade in her hand as the Marines attacked her village. Here’s how Kyle describes killing her with a single shot:

“‘I hated the damn savages I’d been fighting,’” Chomsky said, quoting Kyle. “‘Savage, despicable, evil — that’s what we were fighting in Iraq. That’s why a lot of people, myself included, called the enemy savages. There was really no other way to describe what we encountered there.’”

Chomsky also pointed out that The New Yorker loved the film, saying, “it was great, kept to the cinematic values, said it was well done.” On the other hand, Newsweek’s Jeff Stein, a former US intelligence officer, deferred, calling it appalling. In that review, Chomsky says, Stein remembered a visit he had made to a “clubhouse for snipers, where to quote him, ‘the barroom walls featured white-on-black Nazi SS insignia, and other Wehrmacht regalia. The Marine shooters clearly identified with the marksmen of the world’s most infamous killing machine, rather than regular troops.”

“Getting back to Chris Kyle,” Chomsky said, arriving at his larger point. “He regarded his first kill as a terrorist — this woman who walked in the street — but we can’t really attribute that to the mentality of a psychopathic killer, because we’re all tarred by the same brush insofar as we tolerate or keep silent about official policy.”

“Now, that [sniper] mentality helps explain why it’s so easy to ignore what is most clearly the most extreme terrorist campaign of modern history, if not ever — Obama’s global assassination campaign, the drone campaign, which officially is aimed at murdering people who are suspected of maybe someday planning to harm us.”

Chomsky recommends reading some of the transcripts with drone operators, calling them “harrowing” in their dehumanizing treatment of people who are targeted.

The implication is clear and chilling. Are we all, at least tacitly, American snipers?

In his memoir, Kyle reportedly described killing as “fun”, something he “loved”; he was unwavering in his belief that everyone he shot was a “bad guy”. “I hate the damn savages,” he wrote.
…“In Kyle’s version of the Iraq war, the parties consisted of Americans, who are good by virtue of being American, and fanatic Muslims whose ‘savage, despicable evil’ led them to want to kill Americans simply because they are Christians.”
…The patriots go on, and on and on. They cannot believe what they are reading. They are rushing to the defence of not just Kyle, but their country, what their country means. They call for the rape or death of anyone ungrateful enough to criticise American hero Chris Kyle. Because Chris Kyle is good, and brown people are bad, and America is in danger, and Chris Kyle saved us.
…There is no room for the idea that Kyle might have been a good soldier but a bad guy; or a mediocre guy doing a difficult job badly; or a complex guy in a bad war who convinced himself he loved killing to cope with an impossible situation; or a straight-up serial killer exploiting an oppressive system that, yes, also employs lots of well-meaning, often impoverished, non-serial-killer people to do oppressive things over which they have no control. Or that Iraqis might be fully realised human beings with complex inner lives who find joy in food and sunshine and family, and anguish in the murders of their children. Or that you can support your country while thinking critically about its actions and its citizenry. Or that many truths can be true at once.

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry but I'm confused/uninformed, but how is American Sniper a racist movie?

The movie is based on an autobiography of Chris Kyle who ‘served’ the US in Iraq and was probably the most lethal sniper is US military history. In his memoir, Kyle described killing as “fun”, something he “loved”; he was unwavering in his belief that everyone he shot was a “bad guy”. “I hate the damn savages,” he wrote. “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the Iraqis.”

The film inspired these tweets, just a few among a large outpouring of distressingly islamophobic tweets.

Don’t see this movie.

New York / Sway Recap - Part 1

Hi – This is a hard recap to write since there were five days to recap!   But I’ll do my best to give you all the information I can remember!   This recap isn’t just about Maksyl.  It will include a lot of Val as well as the other dancers and it will also include the non-dancing adventures.  So, feel free to ignore or scroll past the non-Maksyl stuff if I am boring you or if you just want to read Maksyl stuff.  And it’s probably going to be a VERY long recap with many parts and it may take me a few days to write.   Thanks!

 

Keep reading

theguardian.com
The real American Sniper was a hate-filled killer. Why are simplistic patriots treating him as a hero?

“Chris Kyle, a US navy Seal from Texas, was deployed to Iraq in 2003 and claimed to have killed more than 255 people during his six-year military career. In his memoir, Kyle reportedly described killing as “fun”, something he “loved”; he was unwavering in his belief that everyone he shot was a “bad guy”. “I hate the damn savages,” he wrote. “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the Iraqis.” He bragged about murdering looters during Hurricane Katrina, though that was never substantiated.”

YOOOOOOO

As you all well know, I’m a TERRIBLE reccer and often accidentally put people off things I am trying to make them consume which is my CURSE because I also can’t stop trying but ANYWAY if any of you are interested in SHITTY TEENS SUFFERING EMOTIONAL AGONY AND ALSO SEXUAL AWAKENINGS AND PINING AND BUDDING ROMANCES OF THE GAY, STRAIGHT AND HATESEX KIND, then u should read the young adult fantasy fiction SIX OF CROWS by Leigh Bardugo.  

like, as a rule I generally don’t read books where they make up words because I’m impatient and hate learning new things but I gave Six of Crows a damn shot anyway and I LOVE IT.  IT’S A HEIST STORY FEATURING SUPREMELY FUCKED UP TEENS!!!!!!!!  I LOVE FUCKED UP TEENS!!!!!!!!!!!  I LOVE ANGRY TEENS BEING SHITTY BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE KIND!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE TEENS WHO ARE CONFUSED AND AGONIZED AND STARING WISTFULLY AT THE OBJECT OF THEIR AFFECTION WHO WILL NEVER EVER LOVE THEM (incorrect).   

anyway @zeegoesthere said the other day that Mathias is the Nordic Derek Hale which is so true I built an adamantine cell to be locked in so I can crumble into dust in peace.

anonymous asked:

You reblogged the thing about American Sniper being a harmful movie. But that's like saying every slave movie is harmful. There are a lot of movies out there that have a certain group/race as the antagonist. And sometimes, they get shit for it too. It's not the movie, it's the ignorant people who watch it

But right now there is ALREADY fuel between the whole Muslim/Iraqi and Europeans/Americans due to the IS and bombings and stuff.

The movie is the catalyst to the girl being attacked. It’s basically like making a guy watch a one and a half hour movie about some other guy explaining why women are nothing more than brainless sex toys and should be treated as such.

 In his memoir, (the real) Kyle reportedly described killing as “fun”, something he “loved”; he was unwavering in his belief that everyone he shot was a “bad guy”. “I hate the damn savages,” he wrote. “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the Iraqis.” This is the guy you’re defending. He made a TON of money off of writing about killing Iraqis.

“Move your America hating ass to Iraq, let ISIS rape you then cut your cunt head off, fucking media whore muslim,” wrote a rather unassuming-looking mom named Donna against someone who said something about American Sniper being harmful. How can you support this movie?

Slavery movies show things that happened long before our time and it’s not like that anymore. At the moment due to the Charlie Hebdo thing and IS, the amount of members of anti-islam groups is growing by the day. This movie fuels it even more.

Again, how can you support this movie? The fact that people from the Islam are directly being attacked when walking out of the movie clearly demonstrates that it doesn’t do much good. Yet a huge majority of America just lashes out at anyone who speaks out about it? Like, what are you defending yo? ‘American Sniper’ Has Incited Death Threats and Racism.

People are literally being attacked, told  to go 'back to their country and get raped by the IS and murdered’, but you’re gonna sit here and say that the movie doesn’t have an even worse impact at this very moment? Hm.