things that i hate that season 2 did? killed the potential for a alec/raphael brotp

i hate that nobody reads this  i hate that i’m apparently not strong enough to handle like any stress or change-up and just clam up & become useless   i hate that i have doubts about my relationship followed by feelings of deep love & tenderness the next second  i hate that because of how delicate i am i can’t handle any kind of work that would make me any real money and so i’ll probably never have a new car & definitely never be able to buy any kind of property  i hate that my father thinks i’m useless  i hate that i can’t do anything right lately  i hate that anytime i want to go out and look cute and have fun, unless i have c*ke or adderall i become absolutely exhausted and headachey and lost in my own head and just want to crawl into a ball & dissociate  i hate that my bf has even less money than i do  i hate that my precious perfect dog will die in the next 5 years probably  i hate that i never see perry anymore  i hate that every word that comes out of my mouth is  followed immediately by the thought “who cares? not the person yr talking to. yr boring”  i hate that i just can’t keep up anymore and that suicidal ideations are one of my very few comforts rn  i hate that initiating sex almost always is met w the other person being put off of me  i hate that i’m crying at my fucking desk at work and two demanding idiot men are within earshot  i hate that i cannot sleep lately  i hate that my mother’s spirit hurts all the time and that i can’t protect her from ingrates  i hate drunk men  i hate that i am constantly policing myself and others compulsively  i hate that i’m never alone enough while simultaneously being so fucking lonely 

me: harry, is it raining?

harry: um i think…in my opinion…it’s important to remember…you know…that people have different…interpretations about the weather, in my personal opinion. um…i’m never gonna tell anybody…you know…that their opinion about the weather is…wrong. maybe, one person might say it’s raining…or…that, you know, it’s not. i mean- like i said…everyone has their opinion and….i personally think that’s amazing. 

me: nvm, i’m gonna go check myself