i hate the world creative

I think one of the most beautiful things about writing is that anything can happen.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I admire your writing so much so I'd thought you'd be the best person to ask this: I have always loved writing, but I am never satisfied with what I write. I never finish what I write because I'm disappointed in my lack of creativity, imagery and world building. I hate my inconsistent and stiff writing style. I've tried to just keep writing regardless, but everything that comes out just makes me unhappy with myself; but, I still want to write bc people like you inspire me! Any advice?

i… honestly feel the same way as you. i like writing, but oftentimes after i’ve completed a chapter or oneshot, i’d end up kind of resenting them. id force myself to post it immediately (otherwise ill never do it) and ill distance myself from it for a few days, just recollecting my thoughts yknow? after chapter 11 of dl was posted, i was angry and frustrated with myself because i felt i could have handled the latter half of the chapter better, especially in terms of pacing. there was one scene i wanted to add that would have made the transition to the last scene better, but i didn’t have enough time to get it out before the month ended–i wanted to keep my promise of uploading two chapters a month ;-; t’s been a couple days. i reread it and realized it was a pretty solid chapter, despite my initial visions not being met.

what im trying to get out here is that, a lot of the time, dissatisfaction with writing (or anything, really) comes about due to us setting high standards–that isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have high standards with your writing (because how else are you supposed to improve without anything to compare it to?), but you shouldn’t let these standards become a liability to your road to improvement. you’re never going to get better unless you keep at it, even if there will be days you hate it. better than procrastinating, yes?

as for some advice– creativity, i feel, is overrated. your ideas don’t need to be so radically different to stand out. the simpler your ideas, the better you can expand on them, and the easier it is the handle. worldbuilding is fantastic and all, and will definitely be helpful if ur making an au or smth, but to me it’s always taken a backburner, meaning, i do think about it, and jot down some notes, but never will i ever jump into making it in the span of a week, or even a month. there are just some things you need a lot of time to plan out. 

as for imagery–prose is sweet, but it doesn’t necessarily make your writing better, especially if you use them excessively. if you spend too much time with descriptions, and don’t relate them to how your characters interact with said descriptions, then itll feel kinda shoe-horned in. if the readers know what’s going on and have at least a vague idea of the surroundings (this way they’ll have enough information to form their own images), then you’re pretty much good to go!

Honesty

For so long, I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself. I wanted to work in fashion because it was so fast, sexy and expressive. I originally went to college for that, quickly found a job in the field and HATED IT. I love to dress well, neat and creative but that world wasn’t me. It was phony and superficial and I wanted no parts.

A great mentor of mine thought I would be good in hospitality so I changed my major to that and here I am, 8 years later doing what I love.

When people ask me what I love most about my job, I can honestly say “providing an intangible experience is extremely fulfilling.” Knowing that you played a part in making a moment and time unforgettable makes me content.

I can’t sing and I’m not necessarily athletic (exercising doesn’t count). I have no hidden talents and I am not an artist. There will be no claim to fame when I transcend to heaven however I would have traveled to more countries than I can pronounce. I will learn of different cultures, traditions and languages. I will gain knowledge and provide experiences to and for myself that can never be measured. That to me is what life is all about ..

So today I was at work and my supervisor came by and asked me if I wanted to work there. *sigh* Loaded question there, honey. Do I need to work there for the money? YES. Do I want to work there? NO.

Okay this is why I hate being an ENFP. This is why I hate being me. This is why I hate my own gifts, talents, and personality. Because I am smart. I know I am. And I’m not even trying to show off or anything. I just take ideas and play with them until I’ve come up with dozens of conclusions. That’s how my brain works. And the more ideas I generate, the happier I feel.

My job requires me to enforce rules I simply don’t agree with. They don’t make sense to me. I find myself asking why they’re so important. It also requires me to sort of watch over this one area of my workplace. Except I have no one to talk to so it gets lonely in my head. So I start coming up with ideas and stories to entertain myself… and I miss stuff and then get in trouble for missing it. I’m hanging onto my job by a thread and I desperately need the money. But here’s the thing: I just can’t bring myself to care. Because the job itself means nothing to me except the paycheck.

I seriously want to cry though. Because I want to care. I want to pay attention to the details and do my job well. I want to not be in mental agony every second of every shift. I want my supervisors to stop watching me to make sure I don’t as much as look at my phone to check the time.

You know what? I am basically useless to the planet and to society. I dropped out of college because I couldn’t work the system and yet I’m smarter than some of the college graduates I’ve met. My brain explodes with ideas and possibilities and I’m constantly surprising people with new points of view and coming up with ways to encourage people. It’s not that I’m mentally handicapped and I can’t contribute to society. I have very strong gifts. But only in a set area.

And you know what? The world may love ENFPs for their upbeat spirits and for the fact that we basically exist to inspire others but when we ask for payment for those really strong gifts, it gives us the finger and basically says “screw you, get a real job.” And we try. And we hate those real jobs because they do nothing to enrich our lives. We don’t feel like we’re doing anything important and we don’t enjoy them. And so we unintentionally do a bad job because our brains stagnate and we need to keep them active.

And I hate it. I HATE IT. I hate this planet. I hate that I’m so different. I hate that what I love to do most isn’t even a real career. I hate that the careers that honor my specific gift set are almost impossible to achieve yet SJs types have no problems getting into their dream jobs.

And you know what? Yes. I hate myself. I hate that I love my own personality. I hate that I prize my individuality. I hate that I’m so good at writing the fan fictions that don’t make me any money but I’m terrible at my job. I hate that the thing I love most, the thing that makes me the absolute happiest is generating new and creative ideas with my friends. I hate that the world rejects people like me and forces them to jump through hoops to do what they love when others don’t have to do that.

I hate this society. I hate everything about it. The rules that make no sense. The fact that I don’t fit in with almost any group because I’m so different. The fact that I can’t let things go because I imagine all kinds of different scenarios that I play through my head. The fact that the only people who appreciate my talents are people on the internet who read the stuff I write in my free time. The fact that those people are the only people I care about anymore aside from my closest friends.

But I especially hate that, every once in a while when days like this happen, I honestly stand there and wonder just how much better off the world would be if I didn’t exist. Imagining my own funeral. Imagining my friends’ reactions. And wondering if there’s some grand purpose to my life or if I’m this way for no reason. But the way my life is going, it’s just looking like I will spend every day thinking about what could be, what should be, working toward the impossible goal of making a difference and having my personal talents appreciated.

But more than anything, I really hate the fact that I’m posting this because I want people to respond to it saying that it’s not hopeless. I want the lies. The false hope. The belief, even for a split second, that I matter and that I’m not defective.

But then life will come back to chew me up and spit me out. Just like always.

Y’know ZAY BABINEUAX is more than just the supposed spokesperson for the Lucaya ship.

I’m seeing a lot of people on the GMW tags that are proclaiming this kid as wonderful and precious and what not…. because he’s the face for every Lucaya shipper.

ZAY IS MORE THAN THAT. I would genuinely hate for his character just to be written as that boy who captains the Lucaya ship. I remember when he first came on this show and a good portion of his reception was lukewarm at best. There were a handful that love him as is (me being one of them), but ever since Girl Meets Creativity spoilers/clips started popping up, it’s like the only thing we seem to associate Zay as is the spokesperson for Lucaya.

HE’S MORE THAN THAT. Please fandom I beg of you, don’t do it. We should want Zay to be his own person and not a tool to build-up a ship. The kid deserves better than that.

anonymous asked:

This might be a bit of a rant, I'm so sorry. But I just wanted opinions and advice. I don't know much about what kind of deal is acceptable when it comes to negotiating profits with your publishers. But recently, I've seen 'Authors receive 10% of sales,' etc. Am I the only one who thinks this is awful? We are the people creating the WORK. Without us, there'd be no point of publishing companies. What is a fair deal these days, anyway? I get covering materiel cost, wages, etc, so I'm not expecting

a lot, maybe not even half. But I just hate the way the world takes artists, writers, and creative people’s work, and gives them so little in the way of making a life from it. I’ve heard of even worse deals than this from friends. It’s not what most artists WANT, but it’s how we try to support ourselves. It’s no wonder most writers/artists are poor, really, even when they’ve got work published.

I know, it’s unfair. You’re not the first to talk about it and you’ll definitely not be the last.

Most authors only get around 8% - 15% of the profits (depending on how established you are, whether you have an agent or not, the type of book you wrote, and lots of other factors) after they’ve earned back their advance (if they had an advance).

So when negotiating with publishers (which you won’t do if you have an agent), 10% is good for a debut author. You can read more about how authors get paid here.

But “maybe not even half” is way too much for traditional publishing. Getting close to half of the royalties would put all of the smaller publishers out of business and it would hurt the big companies too. Publishing a book is a major risk and there’s only so much money a publishing house can put on a debut author (costs of printing, wages for employees, marketing, design, selling books at a major discount to stores, etc.) before they start to lose money.