i hate ron

3

i’m the sixth in our family to go to hogwarts. you could say i got a lot to live up to. bill and charlie have already left – bill was head boy and charlie was captain of quidditch. now percy’s a prefect. fred and george mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they’re really funny. everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if i do, it’s no big deal, because they did it first.

Happy Father’s Day!!! Little sketch of James and baby Harry ❤️(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ so I was imagining James all excited and with a silly smile cuz it was his first Father’s Day and all…then I thought it may have never crossed his mind it will also be his last. And we’ll, guess who make herself cry today ಥ‿ಥ

atelophobish  asked:

Of all things I'm really upset that they cut Ron yelling 'Hermione' is DH. That would have taken no extra screen time or even effort at all

I know! 

The thing is, I think that scene was a crucial turning point- for Romione, yes- but also for Ron as a character. To be honest, I wouldn’t particularly mind if they cut out his screaming (spoiler alert: yes I would and we all know it) as long as they’d kept in the “No! You can have me, take me!” line. As if anyone in the fandom could watch Rupert Grint say that line and then go and argue the fact that Ron was selfish and didn’t care about his friends.

Like, can we just emphasise that Ron Weasley, master chess strategist and known keeper of rationality during times of stress, just freaking loses it. He offers himself up in her place, he struggles like hell to get to her, he screams her name and sobs hysterically, he punches the wall with his fists and tries to apparate without a wand. Yet, despite all this, he still manages to pull through enough to actually get her out of there. Ron Weasley does a damn good impersonation of Wormtail’s voice, disarms Bellatrix fucking Lestrange, duels with like half of the known Death Eaters in the series, and successfully apparates- for the first time, no less- in an extremely high pressure situation like. Can we just.

If this had been in the movies I think the fandom’s general opinion of Ron Weasley would increase in positivity tenfold.

‘Maybe he’s ill!’ said Ron hopefully.
'Maybe he’s left,’ said Harry, 'because he missed out the Defence Against the Dark Arts job again!’
'Or he might’ve been sacked! said Ron enthusiastically.
'I mean, everyone hates him-' 
'Or maybe,’ said a very cold voice right behind them, 'he’s waiting to hear why you two didn’t arrive on the school train.’
—  Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets; Snape hears all
Merlin, I Love Him.

Prompt: Drarry with Divorced!Hinny and little side of Scorbus.

(Yes, I finally write Scorbus. Please forgive me for making personal characterization on Scorpius and Albus as I haven’t read The Curse Child.)

Dedicated for @outtacuppa, hope you like this one.

Sometime around midnight, the Floo in the Manor is finally ablaze with green fire. Draco Malfoy makes his entrance inside the vast living room, while Scorpius and Albus sit before the chimney, curiously looking at him. Feeling a little bit vulnerable, Draco follows their action and sits before them to make a circle.

“So?” Scorp starts asking with a barely contained excitement. “Father, spill the whole story!” Draco smiles at him once before shaking his head.

“Mr. Malfoy?” Albus’ very familiar green eyes get very confused in a sudden.

“Well, we had a very lovely date, but he said no.” Draco sighs –huh, even his sigh sound small and sad. Potter has really done a number on him.

“HE SAID NO?!” Albus snaps; tsk, very much like his father. Albus once again starts pacing on the expensive rug, trying to wrap his mind on this piece of information. After a very long moment, he can’t conjure a single idea. “But why?” he finally asks softly. Scorp looks at the both of them with heavy concern.

“I don’t know, he didn’t explain.” Draco eyes fall to the hand that is holding his. Scorp squeezes once, telling his father that he’s here with him. Draco smiles at him.  “Hey, Al, it’s okay, yeah?” Draco tries to soothe the fuming boy in front of him. “It’s okay, he must have his reasons.” Albus only shakes his head sadly, which makes Draco stands up and hugs the boy. Huh, shouldn’t he be the one getting hugged?

“I can try to talk some sense into him?” Albus asks quietly and tightens his hug on Draco’s being.

“Hey, no, Al, there’s no need for that. It’s okay, let him sleep on it, maybe one day he’ll be ready to spill his reasons. Not today.” Albus steps back from the hug and turn his sad eyes to Scorp, which makes Draco chuckles. “Hey, none of that, either. Your friendship should not be tainted with whatever’s going on with your parents. Go keep being friends or whatever.” Albus smiles softly at Draco.

“What about you? What will happen after this?”

“Well, I think I’ll open one of my best bottles of wine tonight and enjoy that. Time will reveal the rest, Albus. Don’t worry, I’ll be okay, eventually.” Albus nods at that.

“Well then, I’ll bid you all adieu. For what it’s worth, I believe you deserved better, Mr. Malfoy. See you at Kingcross in two days, Scorp!”

“Send my birthday wishes to your father.”

“Will do.” And with that, Albus’ form is being consumed by the green fire.

“Need a company tonight, Dad?” Scorp asks his father innocently, which Draco laughs openly. It’s good to hear his laugh.

“There’s no way young man. You’re barely 14!” And then Draco feels the force of Scorpius hug.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Scorp says quietly with heavy concern in his voice. Draco strokes his blond hair and smiles at him.

“I’ll be okay.”

Lie.

“It’s only a rejected proposal, Scorp.”

Blatant lie.

“Us, Malfoys, are much stronger than that.”

Absolute, total, downright bollocks.

*

“Morning, dad.” Albus runs down the stair before attacking his father in a big hug. Harry chuckles at that, but even then Albus can hear the tiredness in his voice. He steps back to examine his father condition –definitely not getting any sleep, judging by the dark circles under his eyes. He sighs softly and goes back to hugging his father in a gentler manner. “I have a lot of things I want to say to you in anger right now, but I believe you need a hug more. Happy birthday, dad. For all the right reason, I believe you just made your biggest mistake.” Albus only feels his father’s hug gets tighter and a soft, tired sigh fanning his hair.

*

The Kingcross Station is busy as ever, just like every other week days. Both Harry and Albus walk through the wall that will lead them to Platform 9 ¾. Harry was just finished loading Albus’ trunk into the train when someone pulls him to the side. He goes straight to hug the person when he sees who it is.

“I miss you so much! Why didn’t you visit this month?” he starts fussing James’ hair and face before pulling him back into his chest.

“I miss you too, Dad, sorry I’m seriously busy this month, but I swear I’ll write to you every weekend.” Harry pouts at that, which makes James laughs. “Okay, I’ll stay at yours two weeks before school starts again after Christmas holiday.” Harry’s face must be lit like a Christmas tree.

“Deal. Where’s Ginny? Will she be okay with that arrangement?”

“Oh, I have my way to sway her, don’t worry.”

“Do me a favor and look out for Al at school?”

“Don’t worry, Dad, he has a Malfoy for that. Like father like son, yeah?” James grins at him while playfully raising his brows. Harry’s mood instantly depleted, which makes James frowns. “Oh, trouble in paradise?” Harry only shakes his head with a smile.

“Nothing that concerns you. Have fun at school.”

“Okay.” James goes back for a last hug. “I really miss you.”

“I miss you too, go.” With that James runs to his friends. But there’s someone who suddenly hugs him again, when he turns his body, he’s being greeted with a bushy hair. He immediately hugs her back, but then received a smack on his head. “Ow! Nice to see you too, Hermione.”

“Oh, Harry, why would you even do that? I heard the news just before when I met Al and Scorp.” Harry frowns at her, but Hermione only hugs him again. “I believe you’ll do the right thing, but for whatever you choose, I also believe that he deserve an explanation at the very least.” Harry smiles at that. Hermione is always dependable.

“Rose and Hugh are inside already?”

“Yes, Ron is currently with Ginny and Dean, probably talking about Quidditch. I saw Teddy earlier, he’s looking for you. Go find him!” Hermione shoos him with her hands. It’s not long when Harry finally finds Teddy.

“Teddy!” Teddy’s blue hair is wild under the sun, but suddenly turns into Harry’s black hair, head searching for his Godfather, and then he runs toward Harry, enveloping him in a big hug. What’s with everyone and hugging today? “Hi, old man, ready for your last year?”

“As ready as I can be. Will it be hard?” Harry can see how nervous Teddy is.

“Dunno, never attend my seventh year.” Harry grins, which earns him a smack on his arm.

“I’m serious!”

“Hey, you’re gonna be fine. Seriously, just study hard for your NEWT and it will all be okay. You’re Head Boy, yeah? Put that badge on and show them Teddy Lupin can do anything, especially getting an O on his NEWTs. You’ll be fine.” Teddy smiles sadly at him.

“Will you though? I heard the news. Why Harry? I thought the both of you are happy? Well, at least I’ve never seen you happier than the last four years.” Harry only shakes his head.

“Don’t worry your head over it, it’s okay.” Then Teddy glares at him.

“Well, he’s not okay. Scorp comes to the station alone, Harry. Draco’s still my cousin, so please, fix whatever this is. Make it right even though you chose to break up with him.” Teddy scolds him in a sharp tone before hugging him once and disappears in the throng of students.

“Hi, Mr. Potter!” Harry looks at his right only to find Scorp’s head slips between the compartment’s windows.

“Scorp! You could come with us this morning, you know we won’t mind. Al will be ecstatic.” Scorpius only shakes his head and smiles softly.

“It’s okay, I’ll see Albus in here anyway.” Harry frowns.

“I’m sorry.” He finally says guiltily.

“Not to me, Mr. Potter, no to me.” Scorp only grins before his head is being replaced by Albus.

“Dad, you and I both know how you’re head over heels for him. So whatever the reason behind this spurt in the moment action to reject him, please fix it. We both have our eyes on our Malfoys, yeah? So go get him, and I’ll go get mine. Well, at least tell him why you deny the proposal. He deserves that much and even more for putting up to your shits for the last four years.” Albus honestly just yell at Harry. Many people look at their direction with amused smiles, but the blond hair boy that stands beside Albus in the compartment just stand in shock with his mouth slightly agape.

“Wh-what?” Albus can hear Scorp stutters beside him, so he looks at his poor friend. “What did you just say?” Albus smiles sheepishly, he hasn’t think about what would come out of his mouth before. The blush creeps through his neck to the tip of his ears.

“I said we both have our eyes on our Malfoys, so go get him, and I’ll go get mine.” Scorpius is looking at Albus with wide grey eyes. It cannot get anymore embarrassing than this, so he groans and pulls Scorpius towards him. Both of their lips meet in a hesitant kiss, Albus is giving Scorpius a wide berth to step back and run, but after a moment Scorp’s hands find their home on the nape of Albus’ neck. He takes a step forward and loses himself in the softness of Albus’ lips. They don’t stop, even after the train starts moving, and Harry’s form is out of sight, they don’t stop.

*

Harry understands that his relationship has never worked out before. First with Cho, then with Ginny. He and Ginny got back together about three years after the war, after Harry was certain that he has his mental in a healthy state. It worked for awhile, they had James just at the first years of marriage, and then they had Albus two years after James. At first it was alright, Harry was content and somehow he believed that their family was enough, until one day, it wasn’t. Ginny didn’t want him to be an Auror. Ginny wanted to resume her occupation on Quidditch. Harry didn’t want that because who’s gonna look after James and Albus if the both of them are always out on the field. So, Harry stopped working on the field, he gave up his job to work with high rank behind the desk. He didn’t regret that, he was glad he did that for his kids. But one argument became two, and suddenly there were two dozens of problematic issues inside their family, thus Ginny asked for a divorce. Harry regrets that –oh not the divorce, but how his children had to witness their parents being divorced when James was just starting at Hogwarts and Albus was 9.

Ginny continued her life as a Chaser –a really good one, and then two years after their divorce, she moved on with Dean. James is in her custody as Albus is in his. Albus went to Hogwarts, met with Scorp, and became best buddies. Stick at the hip those two, hence the forced friendship of their fathers. Forced friendship became comfortable company, and then they became each other safe harbour. Before Albus finished his first year, the once so called arch enemy had declared themselves as lovers. That relationship goes strong for four years, until two days ago, when Draco suddenly asked Harry to marry him and he refused.

He knows he’s a complete jerk because when people ask about his reasons, he can’t even conjure one. He didn’t explain anything to Draco. He didn’t explain anything to anyone as he doesn’t even know the answer himself. Does he love Draco? Oh Merlin, he’s worse than Albus’ adoration towards Scorp. Harry is seriously head over heels for the Malfoy Senior. So he’s still quite confused himself on why he rejected the proposal. Hence the reason on why he has been locking himself inside his house for the last two week, searching for those absurd reasons on why he refused the proposal from the only person he ever love that hard.

After two weeks, he finally collects enough courage to stand in front of the Manor grand door. He rings the bell couples of times but there’s no answer, so he lets himself in with the key Draco once gave him. Hunting for Draco Malfoy inside his Manor turns to be a frustrating job when the Manor is as silent as the Forbidden Forest. He almost leaves when he thinks that the house is empty, but he makes sure to check every single room first. Harry finally finds Draco inside one of the guests room, the room they always occupy when Draco and Harry is in the mood for more thorough exploration towards each other. Draco is sleeping, curled into a small ball on the mattress. At first, Harry is relieved to find him in a peaceful state, but then he notices that Draco’s breath is slow –too slow for a sleeping human. He immediately spots a couple of phials on the bedside drawer. Calming Draught –Harry decides after sniffing it.

Shit.

Drinking two phials of Calming Draught all at once is fucking suicide.

“Draco! Draco!” Harry turns the sleeping body to his back, noticing the dark circles under his eyes even as he sleeps. Oh Draco. Harry fishes his wand from the holder in his ribs before pointing it at Draco’s heart. “Ennervate!” Nothing, the heartbeats are still to slow. “Ennervate!” At that Draco jerks and gasps, his eyes opening in a shock manner. “Thank Merlin, oh Draco, thank Merlin!” Harry mutters under his breath. Draco’s eyes focus on the person before him.

“Harry?” he asks confusedly, which makes Harry’s blood boils in anger.

“What are you doing, Draco?! You of all people should know everything about potion! You git, what are you trying to achieve by downing two phials of Calming Draught?! Merlin, I have to hit you twice with Ennervate, fuck , Malfoy! You want to kill yourself, is that it?!” Draco only stares at Harry with wide eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“I am here because I want to apologize for being an arsehole! I thought you’ll be here being sad, or angry beyond reason, or whatever, and I want to fix my mistakes, but no, Draco, I found you almost dead! Fuck, I can’t do this. Sort yourself, I’m downstairs if you want to talk.” With that he leaves Draco and goes downstairs, preparing tea for two. After a few moments, Harry finally calms down and Draco finally sits beside him on the sofa, looking more collected than before, but still not the usual Malfoy’s look. His long blond hair for once is free on his back, not being brushed or styled to perfection. Harry notices he has lost weight, face has become a bit pointier, high sharp cheekbones more pronounce than ever, but the dark circles under his eyes completed his haughty look. “You look like shit.”

“I have mirrors if you want to compare our looks.” Draco snaps sharply.

“How long did you sleep?”

“18 hours.”

“Oh Draco…” Harry’s common sense seems to run out of the window because he suddenly hugs Draco’s form without a care in the world. Draco goes rigid under Harry’s display of affection, but after a few seconds he turns around and melts himself inside Harry’s embrace. He feels like a lost little child, vulnerable and sad, but Harry’s embrace is warm and safe so he just melts a little deeper. Harry’s strokes on his long hair feel comforting. This is right. This is where Draco feels the safest. “I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.”

“Why?” Draco’s voice is small and wobbles a bit, which makes Harry hugs him a little bit tighter.

“Honestly, Draco, I don’t even know the exact reason, and I know that you won’t accept that kind of answer, but two weeks of searching and I still cannot figure out why I say no to you.”

“Harry, you do understand you fucking embarrassed me that night, don’t you? So you better have a very good reason on why you said no to me, or I can’t do this anymore.” Draco gets out of Harry’s warm embrace. Harry can see the tears in Draco’s eyes and it breaks his heart all over again. After a moment of silence from Harry’s part, Draco doesn’t actually know what to do. He feels played, embarrassed; he feels cheap. He gave everything of him to this man for three years, but even then he can’t get a solid reason on why he’s being rejected, over and over again –oh yeah, he did remember that this is not the first time he’s being rejected by the famous Harry Potter. Harry suddenly traps his face in his hands and stares deep into his eyes.

“I love you, Draco Malfoy, don’t you ever dare think otherwise even for a second. I fucking love you, so don’t you dare think that I don’t care about you. You’re there beside Albus, and James, and Scorpius on my number one priority. I’m sorry I was an arsehole, I don’t know why I don’t accept your proposal, and I’m not gonna give any excuses. Maybe you caught me off guard, maybe I’m not ready, maybe because I always fail on relationships, maybe I’m afraid you’ll be another Ginny and I don’t want you to be another person I divorced, maybe just because I lost my bloody mind that night. I don’t know, and I’m sorry that I can’t give you any solid reason, but I love you. I love you so very much, and I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old. I have sorted my mind for the last two weeks, and here I am asking you to take me back, pleading for you to not let me go. And maybe… if you’re still willing, I would like it very much to say yes to your previous offer.” Harry says softly while his thumb keeps wiping the tears that come out of Draco’s eyes. “Please stop crying, Merlin, it breaks my heart to see you like this. I love you, okay? I love you very much, Draco, and I can’t even imagine having a life without you in it, so marry me, Draco Malfoy, marry me?” Draco laughs wetly at that, some twinkles seeps back into his grey eyes.

“Excuse me? No, I propose to you first, we’re not gonna turn this table around.” Draco chuckles again.

“Then, yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.” Harry smiles widely.

“You’re certain this time?” Draco asks as he takes the abandon ring in his pocket and slips it into Harry’s fourth finger when Harry nods with any hesitation. He examines the ring for a second before laughing in amazement and throwing himself into Harry’s embrace.

“I love you, God, I love you so much. Please don’t leave me at the altar?” Harry only tightens his hug.

“There’s no way I let you get snatched by other men, Draco Malfoy, God, I love you too.”

Top Episodes of My Brother, My Brother and Me

So I have recently got up to speed with My Brother, My Brother and Me, it took me about 5 months to do it but I did it! Along the way I made notes of all the best episodes I listened to. I thought this would be helpful for new fans who want to get into MBMBaM but find the extensive catalog daunting.

There’s a lot of premium goofs and I’m sorry if your favorite didn’t make the list.

  • 39 Peepum’s Nastygum
  • 89 Grab the Merkin 
  • 104 I Hate You Ron
  • 108 The Garfield Monstrosity 
  • 109 Flapjack Nickelsack
  • 147 The Legend of Corn Cob Boy
  • 151 Orb is Horse
  • 164 Gaperboy
  • 174 Starbucks Castle Doctrine 
  • 175 Torsey
  • 193 Journey to the Center of the Bear
  • 204 Bait Kids
  • 206 Thank Travis for Travis 
  • 211 Mrs. Doubtfire 2
  • 215 Glass Shark
  • 219 Pizza Delivery Clone
  • 221 Jareth Defense Tactics
  • 222 The Rich Kids Camp
  • 228 Sex Draculas 
  • 229 A Premium Swallow
  • 234 The Legend of Cracker Barrel
  • 242 In the Mouth of Mango
  • 251 Cycle 2.0
  • 253 Bye-Bye Boy
  • 257 Swag Dads
  • 258 OOH, MOMMY!
  • 259 Birthday Surprise Hole
  • 261 Island Boy Begins
  • 261.5 The McElroy Family Fun Hour brought to you by Totinos 
  • 265 The Ballad of Tit Liquid
  • 269 Face 2 Face: Loose Gravy
  • 281 Sisterball of the Dribbling Shorts
  • 286 Coyotes Ate Our Dad
  • 300 The Three Hundredth One 
  • 302 Honkin’ On Bruno
  • 304 Chicken Soup for Boys
  • 309 Here Comes Ray Donovan
  • 321 Which One Vapes?
  • 326 Open-Source Burger King
  • 333.5 The MBMBaM Guided Sleep Experience for Spiritual Harmony
  • 340 Doritos-Blasted Crow
  • 349 Face 2 Face: Remembering How to do Live Shows in Portland
9

“Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery!”

Minister Hermione Jean Granger (b. 19 September, 1979) was a Muggle-born witch born to Mr and Mrs Granger, both dentists.

The Weasley children

Bill: Bill is this tall, long haired, proud redhead who wears rings and looks hardcore but who wouldn’t want to trade his family in for anything.

Charlie: Charlie always writes letters to his siblings making sure they’re hydrated and asking what Molly made for dinner and talking about dragons. He’s also a sarcastic shitlord.

Percy: Perce might seem stuck up but being raised in such a large family he just had to work hard to get noticed - he hates having to show emotions.

Fred: Always really loud and comes off as ignorant but he actually just prefers to have a laugh rather than feel sad.

George: Yes, he loves Freddie to bits but he also likes peace and quiet so he helps Molly in the kitchen and has become a fantastic cook. 

Ron: Being so brave, fun, smart yet awkward cowardly his family are always entertained by his reactions to things. His smile is abnormally contagious.

Ginny: Everyone thinks “oh a girl” She’s so sweet" but Ginny fucking Weasley could take on every one of her brothers AND Voldemort himself if she had to.

[Edit!! Woah guys, I have 53 notes on this and I only have 3 followers. Thanks <3]