For all the people out there who work in jobs they DON’T love and that DON’T fulfill them and DON’T make them feel proud: that’s OK. You don’t need to be anxious because you’re not living the life of your dreams. Sometimes work is just work. Not defining yourself by what you do for work is healthy.
What she means: I’m still not over how they treated Pam in The Office finale. Jim gets to thank the doc crew for giving him the ability to watch himself become a husband and a father. Pam says that she didn’t watch the whole documentary because it was “too painful” and talks about how “I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been. Jim was 5 feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him.” She even says she would like if other people would learn from her own mistakes in not finding happiness earlier.
I’m sorry, (and I love Jim and Pam together as much as anyone, maybe more) but can we talk about what actually happened here???
Jim and Pam had a mutual crush while she was engaged. The end of Season 2 is the first time that Jim says “I love you” and he’s kind of a jerk when she says “I can’t.” Instead of giving her space to process what he’s said, Jim then kisses her without permission and the next (day? week?) leaves town to work at a different branch. He is the one who starts dating Karen and then says that Karen should move to Scranton with him so they can continue to date even though he knows that Pam called off the wedding.
Pam makes a move in asking Jim out for coffee after he moves back. She backs off when she finds out he’s dating Karen (it’s called being respectful) Pam dates Roy again but breaks up with him for attacking Jim right in front of her. Jim is really rude when Pam says she was stupid for dating Roy again
“Yeah we’ll see.” He had just been attacked, but come on.
After the coal walk Pam gives a speech and tells Jim she called off wedding because of him but doesn’t try to break up him and Karen. She is the one who took that big leap to confess her feelings and unlike Jim she doesn’t immediately transfer to a new branch when he stays with Karen.
So Jim leaves Karen for Pam and they are together in about one year from when Jim first said “I love you.” That’s not being stupid for four years. That’s relationships being messy and hard.
Pam and Jim have a really solid relationship from first dating, through an unexpected pregnancy, getting married, and another kid. It’s not until Jim keeps taking a new job a secret from Pam that they start to waiver. Even then she supports him, and they both continue to make big romantic gestures for each other.
They’re ok until Pam lies about having trouble at home to protect Jim and Jim plans for them to move to Philadelphia without telling Pam. They both get worse at communication and start feeling overwhelmed
(Like the writers were so aware of this that as the relationship gets rocky, the opening sequence shortens to just a kiss between Jim and Pam to reassure us that they’re going to be okay).
The miscommunication culminates when the sound guy mentions that Pam has been crying and Jim feels threatened. Pam is the one who says “I want you to stay and I want to fight” when Jim is just going to go back to Philly on Valentines day. She is the one who took that step towards saving their relationship. They go to counciling and even though Pam is really “blocked up” emotionally, Jim is able to reach through to her. He gives up his dream job for Pam. When she gets worried that he’ll resent her down the road for it, he doesn’t blame her or say she’s crazy. He finds a way to show her that she means more to him than everything else with some help from the doc crew and the letter from the teapot he gave her before they even started dating (but, may I add, changed his mind about giving it to her back then. Something that might have brought them together sooner than the “four years” Pam took).
I guess the writer’s differed in opinion though, because the one that wrote the finale included questions at the documentary panel that completely blamed Pam for her reactions. “We’d all love to know, Pam, what romantic thing did you do to pay Jim back for leaving Athlead?” and “Everyone watching sees how much you love each other and how you’re soul mates. So, Pam, how could you doubt that when Jim moved to Philadelphia?”
Jim takes some of the blame and is supportive, but it just feels like the writers want to play up him being the “nice guy.” Later in the finale we find out that Pam got an offer to sell the house as a surprise for Jim so that they can all move to Austin and he can work his dream job after all. It’s a great romantic gesture, but she certainly didn’t “owe” Jim anything and we didn’t need to have her attacked in the panel to believe that she just might be ready to move now when she wasn’t before.
Which brings me back to the ending comments and Pam being so hard on herself for something that she and Jim took equal steps backwards and towards throughout their years together. They could have kept the lines at the end without all the bullcrap about wasting time and being unable to see love right in front of her.
“…it would just…just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself ‘be strong, trust yourself, love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast, because life just isn’t that long.’”
This is exactly what Pam Beesly actually did. Pam is an important character to me. So I take this line and reject the rest.