I’M SO CLOSE TO 1000 FOLLOWERS YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH OMGOMGOMGOMG
The Southside high is rough. Very rough if you don’t have friends from the beginning. That’s why I only hang out by myself and don’t talk to anyone. There is no such thing as a good snake and everybody here is a snake. Nobody can be trusted and sure can’t trust them with a secret.
I walked through the halls of Southside high with my head hung low. I didn’t wanna noticed by anyone. The popular kids, the nerds, the stoners all just walking in their groups and talking about irrelevant things. Their weekends, their friends and the party next Friday. Mondays are always the worst and not having friends on top of that is way worse.
I sat down in my usual seat in my math class. I hate math. I’m really bad at it and it’s just so boring. The gray walls that were in every classroom made me feel claustrophobic. The small tables never had enough room for all the books and all the papers we had to bring. The uncomfortable chairs that nobody could sit still on.
Class went by slowly. I sat in agony waiting for the bell to ring. The teacher was trying to calm down the students that just wouldn’t shut up. She kept telling them that they were missing important lessons that hey would need in the future but in reality, she didn’t teach us anything.
I also feel like a lot of the hate for bio from math/physics stems from a lack of understanding of our field. For example: I, a researcher with a molecular bio degree, was lectured for a solid 15 minutes by a first-year physics student about how biologists "can't think about protein folding in the right way, it's obvious that you just need to analyze the atomic interactions in the sequence". Like.... hon.... I have some bad news... point A to point B is nowhere near they simple....
yeah i’ve gotten that before
it’s always like, with what supercomputer that can analyze the dynamics and energetics of thousands of atoms in any sort of reasonable length of time?
Sorry for not posting yesterday, I got home late and had literally zero lighting. Better late than never :)
Day 7| What is your favourite subject to study?
I know a lot of people who hate studying math, but honestly I love it! I’ve always struggled with math, it takes me longer to understand the material I’m learning than others. But when I practice and study really hard, it’s so satisfying when I finally get the answers right. Math is easier for me to study, because there are set rules and easy ways to check if the answer is correct. With a subject like science there are so many different things to learn that it never really sticks with me.
Yes yes and more yes! You guys, I complain about angsts all the time because I don’t want to put my heart through it (I get way too emotionally attached) BUT I LOVE WRITING THEM (and reading them..I am a sadomasochist after all >.<)!!!!! I dunno man…I just like deep, emotional, melancholy things! >.<
Remember!! I ALWAYS write angsts with a song to tie into the plot! (Look at past angsts to understand if you still don’t!) This themed song is new(ish), very popular, and it’s trending right now..So you’ll probably roll your eyes at it BUUTTTT I love this song right now and I saw a chance..so I took it Mwahaha (¬‿¬) So:
Akashi Seijuro- “Hello” by Adele
Also— if you’ve read my past angsts, I’ve mostly channeled the angst-y emotions towards the KnB character instead of the reader (ie. I’ve made the KnB character at fault and the cause of the angst feeling). This angst is different. I’ve centered the angst-y emotions toward the reader. I hope it doesn’t matter too much but if you’d like me to write the angst focusing on the KnB character doing wrong, then request again and I’ll write another one!!
**Also one more note!! This writing has a lot of Math involved..I hate Math and the simplest addition makes me frustrated because I’m lazy (xD)..It doesn’t make too much difference if you don’t get it, it’s just written to make the timeline real. Math to back it up as proof. So don’t focus as much on the math as you should emotions. ^u^ Now onwards!
Akashi:“Hello. It’s me.”
The bright red hair strands shifted as he snapped his head up at the sound of a vaguely-familiar, feminine voice singing out.
“That sentence..she starts out every voicemail with that exact wording..” Akashi Seijuro murmured as if the song and singer set him in a trance reminiscing in the past.
“What?” Another feminine voice pipped up, making Akashi snap back to the present.
“Hm? Oh, nothing..” Akashi couldn’t help but wince in annoyance at the high-pitched voice.
“I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet,” The first feminine voice continued singing as she gracefully played the classy, white, grand piano that set the scene. “To go over everything.”
Akashi was twenty-three currently, only four more days needed to pass before he would turn twenty-four. Only four more days needed to pass before five years turned into six years since they had not talked. Six years since they’ve seen each other. Six years since she’s heard his voice. However, he knows what her voice sounds like..at least the way she talked in her voicemails, trying to get ahold of him before she started crying. Unfortunately, he knew the sounds of her crying way more then he knew the sound of her own voice speaking.
It was the day he had turned eighteen when she ended everything. The day when she broke Akashi Seijuro’s heart while trying to give it back to him. It was the day she felt as if she clawed her own heart out, dropped it in the garbage, and walked away from it. The day she ended her chances to have a potential happy family.
That was the day she walked away from any future she had with him.
“They say that time’s supposed to heal ya, but I ain’t done much healing.”
After ending their relationship once and for all before walking off, she went M.I.A. from him or anyone else she knew. She packed her things and fled from the whole country, ending all possibilities for Akashi to hunt and chase her down.
“Hello, can you hear me?”
She began her new life half way around the world where she originally lived. Her father was American, her mother was Japanese, and she was the best of both worlds. When she was young and in elementary, they lived as a perfect family in California, USA. She was twelve when her dad passed away and thirteen when her mom decided to move back to her homeland, Japan.
She was thirteen when she met Akashi and thirteen when they both started hitting it off. Akashi saw an emotion held in the girl’s eyes that matched his same emotion. Akashi saw that a part of her was dormant, almost dead, inside. She had lost a loved one that was very close to her and he could tell because he went through the same thing. That’s when he realised she was much like him— that’s when he realised she was everything he wanted in his future wife.
“I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be”
She was eighteen when she left Akashi and her childhood life behind in Japan and moved back over to California. She stayed with her dad’s side of the family. She wanted to start anew. She wanted to forget everything that happened in Japan— including Akashi. She thought that if she ran fast and far enough from her problems, then she would forget about all of them and they would just vanish.
“When we were younger and free.”
But alas, no matter how much she tried to forget him and try to move on, her mind was stuck on her one true love. Two years past before she turned twenty. Two years she had tried her hardest to forget Akashi before realising she just couldn’t. She thought that since she’s older and twenty now, she could try and talk about the things she just couldn’t in the past. Maybe she could move back, maybe they could start again. Maybe he would answer his phone and admit he still loved her and wanted her back.
“I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.”
The call never came. His voice never spoke. The closest thing she got to hearing his voice was his voicemail recording: “This is Akashi Seijuro. Leave me a message and I’ll call you back”.
Another two years past and she was twenty-two. For two years she kept trying. Call after call, she kept thinking that he might pick up this time. She knew she probably sounded desperate and pathetic, but she didn’t care. She was desperate to try and mend things that she ended. She knew it was her fault and she would gladly admit it if it meant she could talk to him again.
California was where her ‘dream’ began. She reached her dream job and goal when she became a singer, getting gigs from all over the world; however, there was no joyous feeling she had because she had forgotten what happiness was after she walked away from her lover.
Akashi had to admit, whoever was singing knew how to make bittersweet emotions stir up. He wanted to admit so badly that he could never love anyone else after giving his heart away to his childhood lover..but things weren’t that simple.
“I love you so much, Seiju..” His wife sighed lovingly, caressing the top of his hands from across the table.
“That makes me really happy to know that.” Akashi smiled forcefully, tilting his head to the side while putting on a poker face.
The woman sighed, her smile now turning into a frown. She couldn’t understand why Akashi never said the three special words back.
“Seijuro..we’ve been married for three years, almost four…and you’ve never told me that you love me even once…” Tears brimmed her eyes as she began to pretend to weep with a high-pitch sound, hoping she could get Akashi to feel bad.
Akashi said nothing but sighed and looked away, rolling his heterochromatic-coloured eyes. The woman pouted as she realised she would never get her way; meanwhile, Akashi couldn’t help but think about the one girl he really wanted as his wife, not this annoying trophy wife that was currently sitting in front of him.
“There’s such a difference between us and a million miles.”
Akashi couldn’t help but begin to wonder why she stopped calling nine days after her twenty-second birthday. She had tried so hard, for two years straight, to talk to him and then suddenly she just..vanished. No more calls rang, no more voicemails were left. It was as if she gave up completely. And he hasn’t heard her voice in two, almost three, years because of it. His heart broke every minute as he thought about it.
“Hello from the other side.”
____’s heart broke as she belted out the notes while playing the chords on the piano; she couldn’t help but wonder where Akashi and his wife were at at this moment she was in Japan. She’d been traveling for a year all around the world, singing at different places; however, she’s avoided the one country she swore she’d never come back..yet here she was, singing at it.
Maybe if she came and saw him personally, maybe if she came back. Maybe he would take her back, maybe they would mend everything back together. So many “maybe”’s ran through her head..so many “maybe”’s that would never be.
“I must’ve called a thousand times”
A thousand times wasn’t enough and two years were too short. Akashi secretly wished she would keep calling, that she would keep trying to get ahold of him, because that proved she still wanted him and that she still had not moved on just like he.
He was angry at himself; angry that he let his pride get to him. He wished he could just pick up the phone and tell her how he wanted her back..but he didn’t, and because of that, she stopped trying. Now he would probably never see her again.
“To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done”
The trophy wife sighed while grabbing her coat.
“Come on, it’s time we get home.”
Akashi only nodded as he got out of the booth and walked ahead of her, not caring if she was behind him or not. He didn’t know why he hated her so much, but he did. He despised her, wish he never met her. She wasn’t ___. She wasn’t what he wanted..and she would never be. And for that, he hated her.
“But when I call you never seem to be home.”
If only he knew why ___ quit calling, he would hate his wife even more. He would never be able to forgive her for what she did.
___ couldn’t get the memory out of her head; the memory of the day she stopped calling. The reason why she stopped calling was not because she simply gave up.
The memory of when the phone finally picked up. The memory of ___ expecting to hear a male voice, Akashi’s voice, only to be surprised to hear a female, high-pitched voice. The horrid memory of the woman only saying “He’s moved on. He doesn’t love you anymore. He loves his wife. He loves me. Never. Call. Again.” before hanging up for good. The wretched memory of ___ crying for hours before accepting that Akashi was not hers and will never be ever again.
“Hello from the outside.”
The memory of when she stood outside, in the pouring rain, watching Akashi’s wife engulf him into a loving hug through the window. ___ didn’t want to accept the fact that he moved on. She wasn’t going to accept the fact until she saw it with her own eyes. The proof was right in front of the Akashi mansion’s window as she stood from the outside, looking in.
“At least I can say that I’ve tried”
Akashi and his trophy wife walked to the front of the restaurant, already paid for their meal and his wife was ready to get home. She knew Akashi was thinking about ___ and it was probably because of the stupid song. She wanted nothing but to get out of their so Akashi would pay attention to her again.
As his trophy wife was walking out the door, Akashi followed behind with his head down; however, for some reason he felt as if something was pulling him to look at the singer who was singing. There was this unknown force that whispered to him to turn and look at the stage where the singer was singing this song that touched his heart.
“To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart”
Akashi stopped midway, in between the door from going outside and inside the restaurant. His eyes widened to where you could actually see the whites of his eyes. He thought his heart stopped as he stared at the beauty on the stage. He knew that face from anywhere. He couldn’t believe it took him that long to realise it was her voice. It was ___’s voice that was singing. It was ___ who was on the stage, right in front of his eyes, singing about their lost love.
Everything drowned out after this point as Akashi started to change direction in his walk and started hurriedly walking towards the front of the stage, excusing and pushing people who were in the way. The comments from the bystanders and the sound of his wife yelling at him to come back was muted out as he focused on his one true love.
“But it don’t matter..”
As he got to the front, he put together everything. He realised this song was about him. He realised she didn’t stop calling because she gave up. He realised she stopped calling because someone made her give up. And he realised that no matter how much he could try and persuade her, ___ wouldn’t take him back since he has a wife “that he loves”. Realisation hit him hard as ___ and his heterochromatic-orbed eyes met, their gaze smoldering.
This was all his fault.
A shaky breath was inhaled from Akashi’s lungs before his breath got stuck in his throat as he watched the solo, clear tear run down ____’s cheek before dripping onto the white, grande piano. Teary eyed, ___ holds his stare down as she drew in a shaky breath, knowing both of their hearts were completely broken, and there was no chance of them healing back after she sang the last words.
TITLE: Wish Granted
PAIRING: Bucky x Reader
REQUEST: anonymous asked: Hey can you do one where bucky and the
reader act like they hate each other and the rest of the team would always
QUICK NOTE: Feedback would be very much appreciated guys! I love to hear
what you guys think whether it’s good or bad. It can help me improve for next
time. I really hope that you guys enjoy reading this. J
“Fuck off, Barnes.” You mumbled under your breath as
you sat down on the couch, your phone in your hand.
“Please do not start.” Tony groaned, looking at both
of you. He put his cup of coffee down. “It’s very annoying to listen to the two
of you bicker like a married couple.” A small smirk formed on his lips as he
finished his sentence.
Bucky huffed, yet sat down next to you. “Me? Married
to her?” He pretended to think about it as he stared at you, making your
stomach do flips. “Yeah, no.”
Secretly you liked Bucky. There was something about
him that just drew you to him and you couldn’t help it. Of course, you had to
mask your feelings. You didn’t like showing your feelings, plus, Bucky seems to
really hate you. It did hurt deep down. It actually hurt a lot after every
little insult, but you were good at keeping yourself together. A little too
good at it.
“What’s wrong with me, jackass?” You huff, turning to
him. “You’d be lucky to—to have me as your wife.” Rolling your eyes, you turn
back to Tony. “But don’t you have anything better to do, Stark?”
“Don’t be mad at me just because you can’t take a
little teasing.” Tony defended himself, with a sarcastic comment and sarcastic
look. “But seriously, you two are like a married couple.” He repeats before
“There’s a lot of things wrong with you, doll.” Bucky
“You can’t even protect yourself!” There was anger
shaking through Bucky at the moment. He almost lost you. He could’ve lost you
if he hadn’t pushed you of the way. That bullet would’ve hit you, and the
thought of it terrified him, but he was afraid to show it and tell you. “I
don’t even know why you’re allowed to go on missions.”
“Stop it!” Steve yelled from behind, standing in front
of you two. “You two cannot keep doing this. You cannot keep going at each
other like this. Bucky, you’re being an asshole. It could’ve happened to any of
You turn to look at Steve, partially thankful because
he was standing up for you, but you didn’t need anyone to stand up for you. “I
can take care of myself, Steve, thank you.”
“Yeah, we totally saw that back there.” Bucky
retorted, his voice was lower, finally understanding that he was being an
asshole, but how could he stop now?
“You know what, Barnes?” You pushed past him. “If
you’re waiting for me to thank you for saving my life, it’s not going to
happen. Nobody put a gun to your head and said ‘Hey Bucky, go throw yourself in
there and push her out of the way.’”
“Did anyone ever tell you guys that you two are
secretly in love, but mask it with hate?” Sam could see it right through you
guys, and used different ways to word it and embarrass you both. “But hey,
continue ‘hating’ each other.” He put quotations around the word hating, which
only pissed you off even more.
“I’m sorry, who asked for your opinion?” You fire
back, completely annoyed with everyone by now.
“Yeah, why don’t you go play with that little red wing
of yours?” Bucky backed you up as he walked away from all of you.
“He has a name.” Sam said through gritted teeth, still
unable to stand Bucky.
“Whatever.” You walk back to your room, thinking about
everything else that Bucky said to you earlier.
Bucky thought you couldn’t take care of yourself, but
maybe if he wasn’t on missions with you, you’d do a better job. It was hard to
concentrate on the mission sometimes because he was there, watching your every
move. He was behind you, taking care of you, which did not make any sense to
you whatsoever. He hated you, right? Maybe he protected you because you were
Steve’s friend and Steve cared about you deeply. All the avengers cared about
you. Maybe that’s why he did it. It wouldn’t change the fact that he still
thought you were an idiot. It didn’t change the fact that he still risked his
life for yours, and now you felt like owed him an apology and a thank you.
“Get yourself together, Y/N. You owe him nothing.” You
say to yourself in front of the mirror. “You didn’t tell him to save you…”
In his room, Bucky layed on the bed, re-living the
moment all over again. You were not aware of the attacker that was behind you,
but Bucky caught it in time. He did not think about going after the attacker,
no, he ran to you. He pushed you of the way, and he could’ve easily taken a
bullet for you.
“Who are you kidding, Bucky? You are into her. So into
her.” He whispered to himself as he stared at the ceiling.
Maybe it was the way you talked when you were excited
about something. The way you’d end up rambling and the glowing look in your
eyes accompanied by the bright and big smile of yours. Maybe it was the way you
laughed. He loved your laugh, yes, and he loved when people made you laugh. It
helped him forget about everything bad. Maybe it was the way you walked, you
walked with confidence, which he liked. There were so many things he could
“Come in.” Bucky spoke as he became aware that there
was a knock on his door.
There stood Steve with a disappointed look in his
face, making Bucky groan. Steve came in and stood by the bed as Bucky stood up.
“What’s up with you, man? Why are you acting like this with Y/N?”
Bucky looked down at the bed, not being able to look
his best friend in his eye and tell him what was going on. “I don’t know. She
hates me. I hate her. Period. There’s really not a lot of hard math here,
Steve rolled his eyes. “That’s not true, Buck. You
know it. Anyways, I think you should apologize for what happened earlier.” He
said before walking out.
The next day everybody was in the living room,
watching TV. It was weird to see them all like this, but it was kind of nice
“Dude, move your fucking leg.” You push Bucky’s leg
away from yours, and sit a bit further away from him, rolling your eyes. Gosh,
that was something everybody did when you and Bucky were in the room.
Bucky chuckled but spread his legs again, touching
You shot him a killer look, “Do you want me to move
your fucking leg? Because I will, Bucky.”
“Just kiss already, damn.” Nat turned to look at you
guys, a small smirk playing on her lips. “You’re both trying to find an excuse
to touch each other and then get up in each other’s face, you enjoy it, huh?”
That was followed by a laugh from Clint and Rhodey, a
chuckle from Tony and Sam, a smile from Steve and a small giggle from Wanda.
Bruce and Vision did not seem to find that very funny though. Scott was passed
out on the couch, so he had no opinion whatsoever.
“They’re blushing!” Clint cracked up even more as he
pointed at the both of you.
“No, I’m not!” Bucky and you quickly replied, glaring
“Awh, look at them! So cute.” Tony chuckled again.
You grunted and closed your eyes, shaking your head.
This always happened, if they weren’t annoyed by the comments Bucky and you
made, they’d tease you about it. They could see right through you and him, but
you two were too stubborn to see it.
“See what you did?” Bucky glared at you and stood up,
walking away from everybody. He was probably going to through a fit and you
were the one he was going to blame.
“I’m sorry, was my fucking leg on you?” You stand up,
obviously not done with this conversation. “You started this, Barnes. Don’t
walk away from me. What are you five? Only a little kid walks away like that!”
He turned around as you both heard Sam say, “Do you
think they’re gonna go have sex? If so, I think I’m leaving.”
Again, you both blushed but it quickly went away as
you remembered you were trying to pick a fight with him.
“You love picking fights, don’t you? Fights you can’t
even win.” Bucky snapped.
He walked closer to you until he was inches away from
your face, making you extremely nervous to the point where nothing was coming
out of your mouth anymore. “Why do you love to do this? Get me all worked up
about something so stupid? Huh?” He continued walking towards you, until you
were finally backed up against the wall.
“I do—don’t know. What’s just how we work I guess. I
piss you off, you piss me off.” You whisper, glancing down at his lips. “I
mean, we do hate each other…”
Bucky stared at you for a while, glancing at your lips
as well. “I don’t hate you, Y/N. I never have and I never will.” He confesses,
almost in a whisper as well. His hands rest on your hips as his face gets
closer, his lips just centimeters away from each other. “But you just can’t
seem to get that through your pretty little head, doll. Why do you think I
almost took a bullet for you?”
As much as you wanted to pretend that you were not
surprised and as much as you wanted to smirk and have a snarky comment, you
couldn’t. The moment you waited for so long was finally here and he was being
completely honest with you.
“Fuck you, Bucky.” You finally say, closing your eyes.
“Do you have any idea what you put me through, thinking that you hated me? I
returned the ‘hate’ because I was so scared to even show you how I fel—” His
lips cut you off, finally closing the remaining space. It took you a second to
finally register what was happening and to kiss him back, your hands cupping
His kiss was in
perfect sync with yours, but you quickly jumped apart when you heard some
whistling and a few awhs from behind you guys.
Wanda awed, Nat smiled, the boys smiled again.
“About time.” Steve smiled at his best friend, while
“You owe me twenty bucks, by the way.” Sam turned to
Scott, who was pulling his money out.
“I really thought you two hated each other.” Scott
says as he hands Sam the money.
“Well if what just happened was hate… I wish to keep
hating him.” You say referring to the kiss, but Bucky chuckles and puts his arm
around your shoulder.
“Wish granted.” He says, pressing his lips against