i hate kristen

10

You play? A little

this-too-too-sullied-flesh  asked:

fmk: "every letter" killian jones, "theoretically" killian jones, canon killian jones

RUDE.

like what…. how…….. ??!??!? this is not……. >[

Let’s go through this. So, canonically, there’s a lot of stuff that we are not privy to….. with Killian. We can certainly assume things. Like, I assume he’s good in bed because Emma’s glowing and boutta pounce on him like it’s going out of style. But there’s no way to know, in detail, how Killian is unless we stray from canon. SO.

Knowing, in very explicit and exquisite detail, just how good Theoretically!Killian is in the sack…. I got no choice. I gotta climb that motherfucker. Because, theoretically, he’s the best lay of the three. Makin me sweat rn.

Now. Unfortunately, the next bit makes me so very sad, because this is a SELFISH FUCKING DECISION OK… but I’m marrying Every Letter!Killian. My own Killian. How self-serving. BUT. OK. This boyyyyyy spent over a decade just pining and then flew across an ocean to be with her and never pushed her for anything, so… in summary, I hate myself.

Which means…….. that the ol’ canon sucker…….. is gettin the stabby stab. In all fairness, of the three versions, he is the most Problematic, because, you know, murder. IRL that’s a bit of a deal breaker for me. But, canonically, it’s also entirely possible to go to the Underworld and bring him back SO THERE. FUCKING THERE.

🖕

this was the worst

2

Books Read in 2017: Managed by Kristen Callihan

Take me, have me, love me. 

But I don’t need to say those things, because I know in that instant that she already does. On rumpled, linen sheets, she claims me, body and soul, and then offers herself right back. In that moment, I am no longer Scottie or Gabriel, I am something more. I am home. Finally. At last. Forever.

watching snl with my mom
  • Mom: *points to Kristen Wiig* is she a lesbian too?
  • Me: *muttering* i wish...
  • Mom: what?
  • Me: oh uh, heh heh, nope, just kate, kate's the lesbian. absolutely. the only one. just what i want. *starts sweating*

anonymous asked:

You obviously have a crush on Kristen Stewart, how is that not embarrassing

my gal Kristen??

Originally posted by kristenstuwarts

this precious baby???

Originally posted by hella-g4y

anon, the only one who is embarrassing here is you.

Originally posted by amyadamses