i hate how this looks but i want to post it anyway

cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]

okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:

  • vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion.  they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia.  the mafia would be involved.  they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.  
  • whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies.  and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
  • what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.  
  • the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
  • “i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.  
  • dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van.  dwayne and vin step out.  they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators.  dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder.  vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.  
  • here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want.  dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!! 
  • here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies.  they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL.  they’re gonna know something’s up!  i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”  
  • “you’re right,” vin says.  he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
    • CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom.  “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully.  “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.” 
    • CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.  
    • CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market.  “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.  
  • CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner.  “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!).  “we’ll bring the wine.”
  • “we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france!  i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked!  it seemed like the right thing to say!” 
    • TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.  
  • they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping.  vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
    • “oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!! 
    • (”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
  • the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
    • “uh,” vin says.
    • “the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true.  they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES.  they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason.  they stop smiling, they look away from each other.  “anyway.”
    • “we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
  • the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood! 
  • vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
    • “’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn. 
    • “sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!” 
    • “yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed.  it’s routine.  they both have their sides of the bed.  “believable.”
    • the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress.  eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
    • for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep.  but he turns over.  “no,” he says.  “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk.  friendship.  it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
    • they decide to be friends again.  you know, for the baby.  for work. whatever.  
  • they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
  • the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.  
  • the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
  • are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne.  vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
  • idris puts a hand on his shoulder.  he’s been watching the entire time.  “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff.  you go save your man.”
  • CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.  
  • vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
  • “who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself.  vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss.  “guess who,” he replies.  dwayne smiles.
  • just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay.  they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
  • CUT TO: a month later.  Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.  
  • “i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family.  “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END.  THEY’RE MARRIED.  WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED.   DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED.  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
anyway I love Yuuri

Underappreciated* Yuuri caps from episode three post:

wrow.

what is happening this is so cute.

full glasses push determined Yuuri!!

IT’S ENOUGH TO GET A MAN PREGNANT. Remember when this ridiculous smitten boy said this lmao.

he lacks confidence.

Yuuri plz omg.

back massages from Takeshi

You can do it, Yuuri (Yuuri freaking out here is too cute)

remember when Yuuri doubted his ability to portray sexiness and Eros and at that very moment he looked like this

I don’t want Yuuri Katsuki to ever have to eat broccoli again after looking at this. I don’t even hate broccoli, but that is tragic. 

he skates

when he’s being so sweet and compassionate and perceptive to Yurio at the waterfall!

a good looking man

I CHOOSE THIS ONE.

I love… this shot? It looks almost Ghibli-esque to me.

Yuuri in the ballet studio gives me life. I want to see more of it!

There’s no way I could be the playboy (Victor, somewhere: sobbing into his pillow)

Yuuri(s) on tv

wow amazing

such a good sport look how appreciative he is of Yurio

I wanted to appreciate how BEAUTIFUL AND DEEP his edge is on this spread eagle?? +10 on all of Yuuri’s PCs tbh. 

being Eros is exhausting

that figure

a smile that could probably bring world peace

HESITANT, CUTE, HAPPY YUURI. 

what the hell?? someone pinch those cheeks (Victor preferably)

he still looks nervous here awww.

but then Victor gives him that gentle squeeze

and he smiles. 

*Note: all shots of Yuuri are underappreciated because it’s not possible to appreciate Yuuri enough 

Real Talk: Jackson. Appropriation VS Appreciation.

This is about Jackson Wang from Got7 wearing dread locks in a Chinese advertisement, just in case you haven’t seen all of the drama and people attacking him. (pictures below)

I’ll start off with saying, I don’t give a fuck that he wore dreadlocks. There, that saved you a lot of reading and time, so if you would like to unfollow/block me, go ahead. Agree to disagree. People want MY opinion on this, so here it is:

The way people are attacking him is all kinds of wrong. I’m ok with people explaining nicely about the history of dreads and how people can take an offense to non Black people wearing that style, that’s their opinion, even though some where being way too harsh about it but reading all the hate comments are disgusting. You would think Jackson got caught in an animal cruelty case (God forbid) or rape case (God forbid), so I’m reading twitter and instagram and saying to myself…what is happening? I’ve never seen K Hip Hop artist get THIS much heat and they wear dreads and braids on a daily basis, but when Jackson wears them in an ad, he gets so much hate and death threats.

“He’s so wrong”

“Educate him”

“He doesn’t care about Black people but he’s wearing our hair style” - Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know Jackson hated Black people..

Let me tell you something, I know people are going to hate me for my opinion, but they hate me anyway lol, so fuck it. I understand where their passion comes from, people hate that other races look up to Black people and want to dress like us, be like us, but at the end of the day they don’t want to be with us or could care less about us for real, I GET IT!. I get it, there’s a lot of people out there that don’t like us for real but wear our hair styles. I understand appropriation. I understand the history of it all. I’m proud to be Black and love my race, my culture and the passion we have.

And I also love that other races look up to our people sooo much that they want to dress like their favorite rapper, or try their style, the rappers themselves are even flattered and don’t care, they just love that they are looked up to and inspire people of all races.

Oh wait, my antil Blackness coon-ness is showing, let me stop! (sarcasm)

But personally, If people who are not Black wear braids, dreadlocks and they’re NOT doing it to mock us, profit from us, claiming it as their own, not a racist, and fucks with my people heavy and NOT doing it to degrade our race (like Jackson!), then I don’t give a damn how you wear your hair, bitch you can wear dreadlocks til yo ass 90, I do not give a damn, there’s some fuck up things going on out there in the REAL world of appropriation. Like this fashion show that was urban themed, gave them afros, braids, but there were no Black people in the show, obviously I was annoyed, because what are they doing? Profiting off of Black people and NOT giving any credit and claiming it as new/ their own. That’s the problem with appropiating. It’s stealing from one’s culture and giving no credit.

What is Jackson doing? Is he racist? is he claiming it as his own? Is he constantly doing it? Is he discrediting Black people and acting like it’s a brand new thing he’s doing?

What did Jackson do that SOOOOOOO MANY other non Black people do every day and are getting their hair braided as I type this. I’m lost as to why people are jumping down his throat and giving him threats and demanding an apology like he said “N*gger” or something?

This girl shared my inner thoughts on appropriation. (should watch this).

And also this.


^ He’s right!  What I said above, he’s NOT doing it to degrade or profit from our race. I said my thoughts before he even responded.

+ People are offended by his response saying he “is saying fck you to us, he doesn’t care about our culture, he doesn’t listen to us”, damn! what do you want him to say? Do you not see the hate comments he’s getting?, telling him to die, saying racial slurs, you guys want to play victim in every little thing so badly, there is NOTHING wrong with his responses, they are haters. He could’ve said worse.

+And “you are on the wrong page” he’s right! If you don’t like him and want to send him hate, then you ARE ON THE WRONG PAGE. If you have a problem with him, then don’t be on his page. don’t even click on it.

^HE APPRECIATES OUR PEOPLE!

HE’S INSPIRED BY OUR PEOPLE!

HE LOVES OUR PEOPLE!

HE LOOKS UP TO OUR PEOPLE!

The last thing on my mind is someone’s hair. I don’t know about y’all but I got bigger fish to fry in this racist world, and Jackson’s 2 minute twists are the least of the problem.

And I know they will say, “So who cares wrong is wrong, he needs to be educated”, HE IS! He knows about Black people, his role models are Black, so of course he’s going to want what they want, you guys are acting like he wore the dreads to be ignorant and racist and you’re acting like he constantly “steals” from our culture and profits from it, he doesn’t.

I’m out.

Here’s the picture:


Watch the haters come in 3, 2, 1…

Things that fucked me up in The Foxhole Court series (warning: spoilers):

  • Every single time Andrew did something just because Neil asked
  • “He pressed Andrew’s palm to the ugly scarring across Neil’s abdomen” 
  • Dan’s entire existence as the biggest boss in the galaxy
  • “You are a pipe dream.”
  • “I am not a pipe dream.  I’m not going anywhere.”
  • Renee saving Jean
  • Renee doing literally anything
  • Wymack hating that Neil flinches away from him and doing everything he can to prove he’s the good male role model Neil deserves???
  • RESPONSIBLE AND CARING ADULTS
  • “You hate me, remember?” “Every inch of you,” Andrew said.  “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” ANDREW LMAO
  • SHOWER BLOW JOB/CODDLING/ANDREW FINALLY LETTING GO ENOUGH TO LET NEIL SEE HIM FEEL PLEASURE (partly because he can’t bear to leave Neil’s side to take care of it alone FUCK)
  • “Yes or no?”
  • VIGOROUS CONSENT and Andreil knowing each other well enough to tell when the other isn’t in a good enough place to consent even when they think they are??
  • Neil calling Andrew a “drama queen” behind his back
  • Nicky getting the happiness he deserves in Erik
  • “Who’s humanizing who in that relationship, anyway?” NICKY OMFG
  • Andrew needing to map every single scar/wound on Neil’s body and Neil letting him
  • Andrew saying “I told you not to look at me like that” after Neil stares at him with fucking giant anime heart eyes when the sunlight hits his hair
  • Matt and his spikey hair (/everything)
  • Casual 3 hour bus chats where Andreil loses track of time smh
  • How fucking short Andreil is???  5 foot **nothing*** is right
  • Neil saying he wants a vacation and Andrew almost cutting Kevin’s dick off when he tries to get in the way of it
  • BED SHARING IN THE CABIN ffs
  • Honestly that whole woodland retreat with team bonding took me the fuck out
  • “The only one I’m interested in is you.”  Demi!Neil is watering every crop in my field??
  • “Thank you.  You were amazing.”  (aka me @ Nora Sakavic)
why lance (probably) won’t be the red paladin, and also why keith (probably) won’t be the black paladin

alright, so, chances are you’ve watched and rewatched the season three trailer multiple times. or, at least, i have. in it, we see lance in both the blue lion and the red lion, and we also see keith in the black lion. 

Keep reading

Some Strings Attached

Ugh so there was a post going around that I’ve now long since misplaced but it was like “I just saw you go upstairs with someone else and I know we’re only fuck buddies but I’m gonna go punch them in the face” and I was HERE FOR IT. If somebody remembers the post, link me. In the meantime, have some Sterek getting together fluff.

“Just tell Derek you want to date him,” Scott says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Stiles bugs his eyes and flails his hands in wordless frustration, because the correct response to this patently ludicrous advice eludes him. He had come for sympathy, not pie-in-the-sky delusions. “Scott. Bro,” he finally gasps. “How could you even suggest that in good faith? No way! Bad plan!” He slashes his arms in a demonstrative X. “The only reason we’re even hooking up is that I made it super clear I was down to fuck, no strings attached! I’m not ruining a good thing by announcing to Derek Hale that I’m 85% in love with him.”

“Why?” Scott genuinely seems confused, the sweet summer child. After falling into a happy triad with Allison and Isaac after their first semester at UCLA, he doesn’t really understand the definition of “unrequited.”

Stiles turns his attention to a hanging thread on his t-shirt, sourly tugging it loose. “He’s out of my league. I mean, with the baseball, and the smarts, and the sarcasm, and those eyes…” he breaks off with a sigh. The last thing he needs to do is remind himself of how gone he is on Derek. “Just, he’s popular. Dictionary definition of too cool for school. And the three people he actually deigns to hang out with here are all just as cool and good looking as he is. Do I need to remind you I’m not? I’m a gawky, nerdy Sophomore. I’m lucky to even be his fuck-buddy.”

Scott makes a face, incredulous. “I dunno, he must like you well enough if he’s still sleeping with you after all this time. What’s it been, six months? And you guys hang out, too, you’re always telling me about how easy it is to chat with him after you bone. So it’s not just sex.”

Stiles grimaces. “Yeah, but it’s not…”


“… a real relationship,” Derek says into the phone, hearing full well the heavy dejection in his voice. So sue him; the admission is more than a little depressing. “He just wants to be fuck buddies.”

“How do you know?” Laura asks reasonably. “Maybe this Stiles person would be interested in dating you, too. No offence, but you’re not great at reading people. I mean, he’s interested in chilling with you even after you hook up, and clearly he enjoys the physical aspect. Did he actually ever say he wasn’t looking for more?”

Derek heaves a sigh, rolling his eyes even though she can’t see over the phone. “Yep. About two minutes after the first time we slept together he said, ‘no strings attached, obviously.’ So, you know, pretty safe bet that it’s no strings attached.”

“Oh,” Laura says. For once she doesn’t have a snappy comeback.

“Oh,” Derek agrees. Dejectedly.

She gives him a sympathetic little hum, and then asks, “and he’ll definitely be at the sorority barbecue?”

“Yeah.” Stiles and his broad shoulders and his long fingers are definitely going to be at the party.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” his sister says softly. “If you really like him, and he’s just looking to get laid…”

Derek groans. Not go, and give up a chance to hook up with Stiles? Smart, maybe, but not something he’s capable of doing.

The problem is, he’s liked Stiles forever. Or at least since he first saw him, laughing uproariously and running around with his friends with an actually broom between his legs, playing “Quidditch.” Derek would have been way too embarrassed to do something like that on the front lawn, but Stiles made it seem like the most effortlessly awesome thing a person could get up to.

No, compared to Stiles, Derek is practically a social recluse, an awkward jock with only about three people who he gets along with at all. Stiles definitely doesn’t want to get saddled with a boyfriend like him. He’s lucky they’re even hooking up after all this time.

“Derek, I mean it,” Laura says. “Look out for yourself for once.”

“I know, I know,” Derek grumbles. “But it’s not my fault he’s…”

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Tips for driving while autistic

I feel like a lot of autistic people have a lot of trouble driving and getting their license. For many people that’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that, y'all are valid in every possible way. Unfortunately, many of us live in cities where public transportation might as well not exist, in food deserts, in situations where we do not have people who can drive us places, in cities which make bike riding life-threatening and sometimes illegal. I would like to reiterate: there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being able to drive. The fucked up thing is a system which forces people to drive. This is intended to be suggestions for autistic people in similar situations to mine: in a food desert, no public transit, not enough money to pay for uber, etc.

Tips for driving while autistic and things to be prepared for:

-if you start dissociating and don’t feel that you can drive safely, pull over if you can. If there’s no clear place to pull over, get as far to the side as possible and turn your hazards on (this is the button with two red triangles, one inside of the other)

-keep plenty of water in the car. Keep food in the car too, but to prevent mice and rats from being tempted to investigate, keep the food in tightly sealed containers.

-if you miss the turn, it’s ok. I promise, it’s ok. Just take the next turn. Usually you’ll still be able to get to your destination by taking the next turn, and if not, it’ll give you a chance to pull over and re-evaluate or turn around.

-people will use some body language to indicate what they are intending to do. A waving hand means, “you go ahead of me.” A still hand, palm out means, “I’ll go first/thank you.”

-if you’re driving down a street too narrow for two cars, and you meet a car going in the opposite direction, just pull over for a second. Or if it’s super narrow, someone may have to back out of the street. It’s not a big deal. Try to be nice in those situations and they usually will be too. For that matter, sometimes I have to swerve slightly into the lane of incoming traffic because of bicycles and that happens too. People around you will do their best to compensate, but try to make sure you’re giving them enough time and warning for them to compensate (use your turn signal or hazards and spend as little time in the wrong lane as possible).

-no one wants to crash. Usually if you do something stupid the people around you will compensate and avoid you, although you might get some honks and middle fingers (yeah, mentally prepare for that)

-in terms of speed limit, it’s usually better to match the cars around you. The actual speed on a road is usually about 5mph over the posted speed limit.

-it doesn’t matter if you are going 15mph over the speed limit. There are still assholes who will tailgate you. (Meaning they will drive really close behind your car attempting to intimidate you into driving faster) The key thing to remember is that they also don’t want to crash, which means all they will do is intimidate. Because I’m an asshole and I hate tailgaters, I usually slow down when someone starts tailgating me. Remember: do not start driving faster. Police will ticket the person in front (aka you) because that person is “setting the speed” and they will not ticket the tailgater.

-parking is stressful, especially in downtown areas. Be prepared to wander for a while looking for parking and factor that into your drive time.

-some places no longer require you to learn to parallel park. Please learn anyway if you feel able. It will make finding parking a lot easier later on.

-bicycles will always be where you least expect them. Always. Especially if it’s illegal for them to be there. Just be prepared for them being anywhere and everywhere and not following the laws of traffic at all.

-the first time it rains or snows in the fall/winter, literally everyone will have forgotten how to drive. It’s a thing. Be prepared for the roads to be chaotic

-the most difficult part is the test itself. That’s the part where you disregard everything I’ve said about how driving actually works and just obey the letter of the law the best you can. Don’t forget you can retake the test if need be. Also, there will often be reviews online talking about which DMV in your area has the easiest test route.

-I try to do meditation breathing a lot while I’m driving under stressful circumstances. It’s very helpful for me

I hope this is helpful. If anyone else has any other tips for driving while autistic, I would be glad to hear them.

Edit: I can’t believe I forgot this! I’ve found that certain types of stimming can be somewhat dangerous while driving. I’d say chewing stims are fine, vocal stims are cool, but I would hold off on the visual and physical motion stims until you’ve had quite a bit of driving practice. Auditory stims are somewhat ok, but be careful to make sure you can still hear sirens and stuff (also earbuds/headphones while driving are illegal in many places)

-turn signals can basically function as a way of telling people around you “hey, pay attention! I’m about to do something!” Even if you’re just changing lanes or are swerving around an open car door you can use them to communicate that people should be ready for you to do something unexpected.

-traffic will stop much more quickly than you expect. Always keep an eye on the brake lights ahead of you.

So some folks in the chat are aware, that I am attempting to mod my sims game to allow for polyamory romances, because apparently after sims 2 someone at EA developed severe abandonment issues and made the “reputation addition” which means your sims will now fight over that one girl you held hands with back in college. (I wish I was kidding)

Anyway, most of the mods for it were broken, but I finally got one to work today after hours of tinkering with it, and I thought to myself great, I’ll do the Human AU trio from Hunger Pangs for a bit of a giggle, and it was fun cause it worked! They were all flirty and happy and all enthusing about each other to each other and it was super adorable. There was still the option of “confess to cheating” but I just ignored that, it wasn’t triggering autonomously so that was what I wanted.

And then Ursula gets a notification over her head which says “Try for A Baby” directed toward Vlad, and I’m like oh, okay neat that’s not canon but sure, I can totes build you guys a nursery in the basement for your weird demon spawn child, no problem. At which point I’m distracted by Nathan setting fire to the kitchen so have to jump down a level to manage that to keep everyone from dying, but while that is going on I hear the “baby jingle” meaning somebody got preggors from woohooing, so I flip back up to Vlad/Ursula to find she’s playing on the computer, but Vlad, where’s Vlad…oh he’s throwing up in the bathroom apparently, weird, he must have tried drinking from Ursula again (the vamps can’t drink from fairies in the supernatural exp but he keeps doing it and getting sick like wtf buddy come on, I know she’s pretty but keep it together) oh well…except he keeps throwing up. And his back hurts, and he’s emotional and crying and turns out the key phrasing up there is somebody got preggors.

Turns out this mod can allow anyone to get pregnant, but unfortunately the base game is not equipped for this and Vlad now no longer has a body. He’s just a floating pregnant head. Which, okay I can live with this, this is not how I had planned this but sure okay, what can possibly go wrong.

Of course Vlad is now doing the whole “goal: buy a crib” like oh joy my broody vampire is quite literally feeling broody and trying to nest, and while I can do some of the things he wants, like buying terrifying stuffed toys for the nursery and going to the spa because apparently his non existent back is killing him, he has other desires, like, read a “pregnancy book” so he’ll know what to expect but EA is/was (I’ve heard sims4 is better, alas I have 3) such a piece of gendered shit, (EDIT: the mod was causing this, not the base game) male sims literally cannot read books about being pregnant, but Ursula, the non pregnant one can. Meanwhile she’s really excited about becoming a mother without actually being pregnant, Vlad is torn between crying all the time and enthusing to her about their impending unholy vampiric/fairy offspring and Nathan is…Nathan is not doing too well…in fact he’s downright unhappy, and the first I notice it is when he storms up to a now very heavily pregnant Vlad, slaps him and accuses him of cheating, despite the fact that the mod I have installed makes it IMPOSSIBLE for him to do that autonomously and also they are supposed to have ZERO jealously issues because I literally disabled it as a function and YET, there he is being an utter dick to a my poor pregnant vampire who just started bawling his eyes out cause one of his two love interests just threatened to expose him as a vampire and is demanding to fight. Well Ursula is having none of it, she might have fallen for Nathan first but when she sees Vlad being picked on she straight up throws an elixir at Nathan which makes him fall asleep, but then Vlad is upset cause he still technically loves Nathan, and Ursula just attacked him, and now she’s trying to apologize and Vlad is in the bathtub doing the equivalent of NO ONE TOUCH ME, NO ONE EVEN LOOK AT ME, which breaks Ursula’s heart, so then she goes off to apologize to Nathan who has woken up, turned into a werewolf, and is shredding everything in the house.

Meanwhile I’ve got the in game mod screen up, desperately trying to check why this is happening, making sure I have the polyamorous jealousy set to the right function, and according to the mod it’s all working just peachy keen, so I hit reset, thinking I can just re-enable all of it and fix it. But what that does is it makes everyone INSTANTLY HATE EACH OTHER IRREVERSIBLY so now my house has a fairy and a werewolf who want to kill each other on sight, and a vampire who just went into labor but doesn’t want to go outside to go to the hospital because the sun is up and he’ll literally burn so he’s just hiding in the basement crying.

So basically my game went full mpreg trope catastrophe and I’m going back to Skyrim where mods only ever cause occasional bouts of surprise nudity and accidental bardic regicide. 

Of Headbands and Hurt Feelings

based on this post by @fistatfirstklance + yours truly. also @wittyy-name asked me to tag her in this (haha im still screaming) so here we go

It starts as a one time thing.

Pidge had looked down one day, Lance’s older brother instinct had kicked in, and he’d ended up spending twenty minutes trying to string a pretty green stone he’d picked up on a piece of string. Any normal person would’ve just given it to Pidge directly, but Lance thought it’d be more fun to hide it somewhere and wait for Pidge to find it. She’d walked out of Green’s hangar the next morning with the stone around her neck and a smile on her face, and well. It spiraled from there.

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Camren 2017: They’re So Obvi

Okay. First let me apologize for the delay in getting this theory out to you guys. The last few days have been crazy busy. Secondly…grab a bowl of popcorn and warm cup of tea…this is going to get interesting. I’m sure the skeptics will try to refute any and all evidence I am going to provide in this post. So, “screw you in advance. don’t like it? don’t agree? ignore it. please don’t insult me or my fellow munchkins”. Now that all the preliminary stuff is out of the way…

Camren is alive in 2017. I believe that Lauren and Camila are not only on good terms but also seeing each other on the low again. Crazy right? Hard to believe, I know but the evidence I’ve gathered has me convinced. I’ll start with the release of Camila’s CITC and IHQ video and single. Camila released her debut single CITC on May 19th…two days before on the 17th I came across this photo…

I’m not sure if she followed the Camren account on the 17th or if she followed them along time ago, but I think it was recent. It showed up in my recent suggested likes and posted the same day I found it.
Then on the 19th, the day CITC was released, a photo of Lauren was posted to a stylist IG wearing a wig with bangs…

Not a big deal for most. But my delusional triggered camren mind sees the wig with bangs as a nod to Camila and the release of her single and her new hairdo. I get it. I’m reaching super far with that one right? Well when was the last time we saw Lauren with bangs in a photo? (where she wasn’t a toddler) And the photo happens to post the day Camila’s first single debuts? Coincidence? If you’ve been in this fandom long enough you know that word doesn’t exist.  On May 16th before the picture of Mani following the Manip Squad surfaced and before the Lauren wig pic posted another screenshot surfaced. 

…on the 16th Camila posted some snippets from her music video and supposedly Lauren liked the video. Speculation says that Mila deleted the third video clip because Lauren “accidentally” liked the video. 😏 we know how Lauren likes to accidentally like things…funny how her likes are only accidental when it comes to Mila. Camila is well into her press tour for both her new singles and on the 19th of May after the successful debut of CITC, Mila did an interview with Power 106 FM…

https://youtu.be/4M95O9N_lyw  (link to interview)

in the interview she clarifies the interviewer that her album is NOT about boys…now I know that can be interpreted many ways. But if you’re singing about experiences and relationships and you say the album isn’t about boys (I’m sure she will discuss some 5H things but not for the entire album) then who is the album about Mila? Sorry to inform your representatives…but I think your gay is showing. 

Okay, still hanging in there with me? Excellent. Let’s keep going. On May 21st, Camila made her solo performance debut performing IHQ and CITC at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards…she killed both performances. 😩🙌 Anyway…some of her red carpet photos surfaced and there are some inexplicable scratches on her arms that kind of look like they could have come from a dog or cat.  And who recently got a puppy named Leo? Lauren, that’s who. And who also has a dog named Leo? Camila, that’s who. Lauren was definitely around when Camila got Leo so I’m sure she knew what naming her dog Leo would do to this “delusional” fandom of ours. Don’t believe me about the scratches? Check out the photo.

Now some poor overly dramatic souls speculated that Mila was self harming…😒 smh. Sometimes this fandom is just too much. They are clearly scratch marks from a small animal. Also, since we’re the talking about the BBMAs, MGK and Halsey were there looking very close and cuddly and “coupley”. And I think its very funny that they are both VERY CLOSE to both halves of Camren. I mean come on…do you really think they don’t have the tea? MGK refers to Mila as his sister and Halsey is a die hard Lauren supporter and fan. The pair (halsey and lauren) have gotten super close recently after their collaborative project of Strangers. Which is a bop and I fall in love with it more and more every time I hear it. I feel like with MGK and Halsey being as close to Camila and Lauren as they are if the two (camren) weren’t getting along wouldn’t that cause issues with MGK and Halsey too? Ever hated someone your best friend or significant other like? It will definitely cause tensions to rise. I just want MGK and Halsey to spill all the tea about their double dates with Camren LLS…since Lauren spilled the tea all over Halsey’s carpet its only fair she return the favor…😂😏.

Then on the 27th of May like clock work….Ty$ and Lucy came through to distract us. Ty$ liked a provocative pic of Lauren’s… You guys know the one😏. And Lauren went like crazy on his page too. I wasn’t surprised or derailed by the interaction seeing as how all signs have been pointing to camren since a couple days before the release of Mila’s debut single. Then…supposedly Lucy did an IG live where she was asked to stick out her tongue if Camren was real…or something like that. And she did. 😮 Now I did not witness her doing it. But I have a screenshot of the request and Lucy responding with her tongue out 😜

…but again. I can’t confirm if it happened exactly like that because I did not see the video myself.  

With all that being said. I can say that I am thoroughly convinced Camren is alive and well in 2017. I’m sure I missed a ton of stuff as my personal life has been kind of hectic over the last month or so. But May has rewarded us for sure with Camren indirects/proof. Let me hear your thoughts? Do you agree? Why? Do you disagree? Keep it respectful but tell me why. Did I miss something? Help me fill in the blanks. I hope this theory wasn’t disappointing or too far fetched. I’m just relaying my thoughts on the current Camren situation. Don’t be distracted by Mila’s hetero narrative or Lauren’s PR BS RS…lol. Nothing can Kill Camren. Its the cockroach of Relationships. Their connection will exist long after the nuclear holocaust and Zombie apocalypse. 😂😂 IT’S CAMREN YO!!!

PSS: FOR SOME REASON ALL THE PHOTOS AREN’T SHOWING ON MOBILE DEVICES. SO I SUGGEST READING THIS POST ON THE COMPUTER SO YOU CAN SEE ALLTHE JUICY DETAILS. 😘
bakery au (oldie but a goodie)

Part 1

“He hates me,” Bitty moaned, flopping on his couch. Holster was raiding his kitchen, listening to his rant about Jack Zimmermann.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong! Maybe it was because I told him that he played a hard game last night the first time he came into the bakery? All he does is glare at me and say stuff like ‘Eric, the coffee is too sweet,’ or ‘Eric, you need more protein.’”

“Brah, maybe Zimmermann just has a total resting bitch face,” said Holster as he pulled out a leftover pie from Bitty’s fridge. “Guy seems fucking intense. At least he’s good for business.”

“He keeps on glaring at me! And he comes in, like, three times a week. Orders a coffee and just drinks it in his corner, ignores my attempts at conversation even though, mind you, he has already said some pretty rude stuff!”

“The guy’s a celebrity, he probably has his head so far in his ass and doesn’t care about shit, and also just wants some privacy. Bits, you haven’t been taking pictures of him and posting it on twitter have you?” Holster asked, alarmed.

Bitty gasped, “Adam Birkholtz! I would never!”

“Then just treat him like an antisocial customer, he can’t be the only one going to the bakery who doesn’t want conversation and just wants service and food,” Holster said, dropping down next to Bitty on the couch with two tins of pie.

“I know,” Bitty sighs. “He’s just…so handsome. And he was so nice to Nursey when that fool tripped. And he tips generously. And he’s just so gorgeous, even when he’s glaring at me and speaking in grunts whenever I ask him how his day has been. I just want him to like me!”

Holster navigated the TV to a rerun of Golden Girls and handed Bitty one of the pie tins. “I think that’s your problem. You’re an amazing person, Bits, but maybe you can be a bit too friendly for resting bitch face robozoid Zimmermann. Maybe stop asking him about his day and just let him chill.”

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i like you (this is a problem)

“Here’s the thing-” Lily said, marching into the pub and pulling out a stool.


“We’re closed.” James interrupted without looking up from wiping down the bar.

“I want a dog.” Lily barrelled on without hearing him. “But my landlord doesn’t allow pets so I was wondering-“

“I’m not getting a fucking dog for you.” James said firmly.

Lily blinked at him. “I was going to ask if you thought it was morally wrong to raise it in my air-vent.” There was a silence. James was caught between hoping she wasn’t serious and knowing that she was. “Your idea seems better.” Lily admitted.

“Really. Talk me through that, is it because there is no animal abuse involved?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of then you’d have to clean up the poo, but the no animal abuse is also good.”


“Y’know” Sirius was lying on top of the bar, waving around a beer and staring at the ceiling. Nobody looked up. “I always thought once we owned a bar we would spend a solid 60% percent of our time drunk, and that hasn’t happened.” 

Remus, still wiping down tables, said “I shudder to think what you’d be like on your own.”

“Since we bought the bar we spend more time drunk than we used to?” Peter consoled, baffled.

Sirius sat up. “I would say we spent about 15% percent of our time drunk before the bar, and after the bar we spend about 25%. That is an increase of only ten percent.”

“Where are you pulling these numbers from?” Lily asked while holding the ladder for James, who was avoiding the dishwasher by pretending to fix the squeaky window.

“On top of being an excellent barman I double as a statistician.”

“You are neither of those things.” Remus said. Sirius glared.

“Fuck you Moony. At school you were always saying I didn’t do enough math, and here I am, doing math, and you’re abusing me.”

Remus threw a dishtowel at him and gestured to the kitchen. “Go unstack the dishwasher.”

“Fantastic.” Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. “This is what I get for my brief foray into math. Insulted and unloading dishes.” He jumped off the bar and mockingly gave Remus’ back the finger. James laughed.


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i really really want a bonding moment between keith and lance that starts with some serious topic (like lance comforting keith about shiro’s disappearance and stuff) but then turns into them talking shit about the professors they didn’t like at the garrison, the subject they hated, stuff they’ve done there and shit like that.

“God I really hated *insert subject name* everytime the professor walked in the class I used to snort so loud everyone would turn to look at me.”

keith, with a fond smile on his face: yep i remember

lance: what…wha….what did you just say?

keith: uhhhh….it’s getting really late at night goodbye!

lance lets him run away anyways because otherwise he would have to admit how long he stared at keith back at the garrison.

Toxic Idol Culture

Anyone who’s followed me for a long time knows that I have… my issues with idol culture. I know this can possibly sound ironic considering I’m very popular here but at the end of the day I can’t help that so bear with me.

The reason I say “toxic” in the title (asides from being a strong word that immediately conveys a message) is because I’m addressing a specific subset of idol culture where people will vehemently defend someone’s horrible actions simply because they have a large following and/or pretend to care about topical issues like social justice and trans-rights (the latter being extremely important to my family, my friends, and recently myself).

It’s a shame because tumblr in general does seem at least somewhat more clued-in on how people abuse power (this ranges from world politcs to small corners of youtube), but this knowledge never seems to be applied to tumblr itself. There’s a cycle here, where someone is given disproportionate about of praise for arbitrary things (being a feminist, anti-nazi, or mildly funny, etc - all fine things on their own but hardly noteworthy), they get cocky and play into the role more, then start abusing others (doxxing, harassment, etc, usually of minors ironically enough).

This is partly why “funnymen” being outed as legitimate perverts and pedophiles is becoming increasingly common (or, at best, don’t believe the stuff they pedal out). Ultimately, it’s the person in question’s fault for being a scumbag of course, but tumblr’s unnecessary idolization of people who simply don’t deserve it has a large impact on what these people think they can get away with.

A large reason why this seems to happen is because nobody here seems to want to ask questions. A perfect example of this is when I receive messages warning me about an OP of a post being disgusting in some way, but when I investigate it turns out to be false.

However, it’s hard to fault anyone particularly for being a little bit gullible because ultimately we all want to be part of something. We all want to be liked, loved, and acknowledged. Asking questions, or otherwise being “difficult” can harm this so sometimes one might feel safer by saying “ok i’ll delete the post” rather than “can you show me some proof?”

It’s also a shame because, memes asides, tumblr is a pretty enjoyable website. At the moment of writing, there isn’t anything quite like it, but the experience is marred by people (and their imitators, especially) looking for cheap notes by exploiting serious political issues, where it is nearly impossible to say anything outside of ineffective self-indulgent feelgood “activism” without someone aggressively hating you for it.

For a website that houses a lot of people who claim to want to protect minors/transfolk/etc, there’s a startling neglect of how these people can be taken advantage of by the very same blogs that claim to help them. Anyone on this website can say anything but to actually practice what you preach is an entirely different story.

Interestingly, this is why you get certain “Hellsite” moments like someone complaining about getting hate after telling someone to kill themselves, or people posting things like “just be nice but also fuck [inoffensive group of people]”. Anyone who’s followed my blog for a while (or even just pays attention a little) know that this is hardly a rare occurrence. I think the term for this ‘cognitive dissonance’. This stuff makes good joke fodder, but it’s pretty sad that this stuff happens in the first place.

Toxic idol culture isn’t contained to just social justice circles either. Even opposite groups have become victim of this (maybe they always have, in retrospect). You may know that an ex-friend of mine recently shared suggestive photos of a 16 year old. Long story short, me and a lot of others were uncomfortable with this and promptly dropped them but I was mortified at how many anti-sjws came out in this dude’s defense over something that can only be considered objectively predatory and creepy. The person in question used tumblr’s liberal usage of bold accusations to wave-off what he had done, and his followers ate it up. It served as a important reminder that you can essentially get away with anything, as long as you have a significant follower count and frame your dissenters in a harsh, unrealistic light.

To anyone that defended/defends this guy, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Some are not above co-opting important social justice issues for internet points. A lot of time, it’s merely an avenue for them to be the very bullies they once hated but since it’s masked, the bullying is often ignored or encouraged. It’s easy to call someone a transphobe for an arbitrary reason, but it takes a considerable amount of effort to actually help a trans person in need. We should be doing more to support people who do the latter, rather than the former.

Anyway, the point of this post isn’t to make you paranoid, or to hate anyone with more than 3k followers (popular blogs make easy enough targets for hate anyway), but just to be a little more cautious and a little more critical of these kinds of people (who will inevitably get mad at this post and make passive-aggressive vagueposts about anyone who agrees), and to generally stop glorifying hateful blogs who’s main shtick is attacking people.

I realize, in the grand scheme of things like social justice and such, this is a small slice of the pie, but this is definitely something that needs to be thought about more.

Call Me Daddy

Summary: Phil asks Dan what his kink is, but Dan doesn’t feel so inclined to tell him.

Word Count: 3.1k

Genre: smut (specifically: daddy kink smut oh man)

happy birthday @mangothatismelancholy !! i know im a few hours early but i won’t have much time to post it tomorrow morning ahaha. i hope you like this and i hope i remembered correctly that daddy kink was your favorite (?). also i hope you have a great birthday dude!!! 

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the taste of your cherry chapstick

Summary: Punk!Phil has a crush, so when Pastel!Dan is manning a kissing booth for a school event, he finds himself showing up with a pound in his pocket.

Word count: 5364

Warnings: food

A/N:  Special thanks goes to Harley (@danslester) for giving me the idea for this fic and encouraging me as I was writing it, and to Gisele (@fringegaps) for reading it over and promising it was okay to post. (Also let me know if you’d be interested in seeing more of this version of Dan and Phil because they were fun to write and I have a few ideas.)

(Ao3 link)

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text post sentence starters  /  original version here

  • “bro, you look so cute right now. dude, you are so fucking adorable.”
  • “wanna watch this murder documentary with me?”
  • “i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there’s a 900% chance i’ll cry.”
  • “i may act like I’m clueless but actually know what’s going on at al times.”
  • “attention: i need attention.”
  • “i don’t have a nervous system. i’m a nervous system.”
  • “drugs? no thanks, the only ‘high’ i need is the natural rush you get from commiting a murder.”
  • “i think i’m subconsciously trying to ruin my own life.”
  • “why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?”
  • “i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole.”
  • “i don’t want to look 'pretty’, i want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening.”
  • “i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know.”
  • “girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. i don’t remember what i was going to say but i’m just gay.“
  • "i’d love to relax but that’s just not realistic.”
  • “contrary to popular belief i’m actually soft and have feelings.”
  • “this could be less hetero.”
  • “to be honest i just need a hug.”
  • “why can’t I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?”
  • “this is it, this is how i die: lack of attention.”
  • “are we just friends or is this flirting serious?”
  • “i have this problem where i isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because i’m lonely.”
  • “i may be ugly but at least i have an ugly personality too. consistency is key.”
  • “i don’t wanna get involved in drama i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened.”
  • “i am bysexual as in i’m not interested, goodbye.”
  • “i could win an olympic gold medal in being ignored.”
  • “fill your heart with bees. if someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees.”
  • “i’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.”
  • “i panic a lot of other places besides the disco.”
  • “which layer of hell do you think you’re going to?”
  • “my kink is being right.”
  • “my kink is being home alone.”
  • “you’re really sensitive for a selfish asshole.”
  • “i can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, i have a big heart and can’t treat people badly, that’s just not me.”
  • “what about netflix and kill?”
  • “no offense but why does everyone hate me?”
  • “i’m a strong independent introvert who don’t need no social life.”
  • “why do i get struggles instead of snuggles?”
  • “if a conversation goes on too long without being about me, i’m out.”
  • “i’m small, queer and something to fear.”
  • “all this sadness is bad for my skin.”
  • “i’m cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive”
  • “i’m beautiful and underappreciated.”
  • “she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s me.”
  • “sorry for being awesome, loser.”
  • “is 'no’ an emotion? because i’m feeling it.”
Eric Richard Bittle is Jewish Pt 2: Zimbits

If you haven’t read part 1 already I suggest reading that now! It makes this make sense!

https://jewishnursey.tumblr.com/post/161849727360/eric-richard-bittle-is-jewish

Anyways, as promised here’s part 2
tw: antisemitism tw: homophobia tw: slurs

Bitty is Jewish.
This we know.
Bitty grew up feeling shame for his Jewish identity.
This we also know.

But what you may not realize is that Bitty has always had a thing for Jewish men, whether he wanted to or not.

Bitty’s first crush was Jeff Goldblum. His daddy had let him watch Jurassic Park behind his mama’s back once when Bitty was 10.

He thought that his son’s transfixed eyes and rising blush were to do with Laura Dern, and chuckled softly at his son’s infatuation.

But no. It was Jeff Goldblum. All 6"4, big nosed, strong jawed nice Jewish boy that was the actor being chased by dinosaurs.

It didn’t stop there, there was Adam Shapiro at his temple who was in high school when Bitty was in middle school, and who sang for the choir. It made Bitty’s knees wobble.

Then they moved, and in his Freshman year of highs school, Jacob Ruben was Bitty’s partner for the science project. Of course Bitty developed a crush, Jacob had kind eyes and a brilliant smile. They became good friends.

That ended when Bitty found Jacob being cornered by some guys after school one day. “Kill the Jew! Kill the Jew!” They chanted cruelly, each statement punctuated by a swift kick to the ribs.

“Stop it!” Bitty yelled at the mob, “leave him alone!”

“Shit, do you hear this f*g?” One of the boys chuckled, “get him.”

They chased Bitty into a dumpster, and then proceeded to kick and push it with Bitty inside.

They called him all sorts of things, none that hurt nearly as much as thinking about Jacob hunched over, bruises kissing his side, blood dribbling out of his nose.

The next Monday when Jacob didn’t show up to his science class, Bitty knew he wouldn’t be back.

Jacob had paid the price for being the Jew at this school. Bitty wished he didn’t know how that felt.

Thinking back to his own head slamming against the inside of the dumpster wall, perhaps Bitty would pay twice the price,

For being the Jew
and for loving the Jew.

After that day, Bitty had vowed to marry a goy as his mama had before him.

She had the right idea. He wouldn’t get hurt that way, he wouldn’t have to watch someone he loved be hurt that way either. It was just easier.

But then something miraculous happens that changes things,

he meets Jack Zimmermann.

The first day of practice, when Jack introduces himself to the team as the captain, Bitty thinks about Jurassic Park.

He sees high cheekbones, sharp jaw and nose, dark, wild hair and eyebrows, and suddenly he’s 14 and watching Jeff Goldblum for the 100th time, sweating a little under his blush.

He ignores the pang in his chest and proceeds to convince himself that Jack hates him.

It’s easier if Jack hates him. Bitty’s more comfortable with being hated than daring to follow his heart.

Then the team finds out he’s Jewish and everything changes again.

Bitty goes to Hillel with Jack sometimes and it’s great, better than he ever thought it could be. Before he knows it, he’s falling deeper.

It scares him how much he likes Jack.

One day Bitty is at Hillel with Holster, and he spots two boys holding each other’s hands during the sh'ma.

Bitty stares at them the whole time, to a point where even Holster notices and whispers, “Bits? You good?”

“Holster, they’re holding hands.” Bitty whispers back.

“Uh, yeah.” As if it’s the most obvious thing, as if Holster has seen this a thousand times.

“Holster,” Bitty whispers a bit more forcefully catching the eye of a few students around them, “two boys are holding hands, at temple, and nobody is saying anything.”

“You’re saying something.” Holster points out, “besides Bits, it’s Samwell, look at the company you’re with, it’s not unheard of for two boys to hold hands around here.”

It clicks then, like a joint going back into place. Bitty’s fears float away for the moment.

It’s ok.

After that, Bitty comes out to his Moomaw. He figures if there is ever a first step, she is it.

He almost cried when he lets the words “I’m gay” fall from his lips, but he holds it together until she starts to tell him how much she loves him.

“Now,” she says after she’s had enough of the tears, “is there a special fella you’ve got your eyes on?”

Bitty thinks on that a moment, lets his brain flood with images of blue eyes, broad nose and even broader shoulders.

He flushes.

“Oooohhhh goody! Now, I know your mama married a goy, and you know I love your daddy, but is he Jewish?” She asked a little more than hopeful.

“Yes.” Bitty replied, easy as pie.

He doesn’t remember ever smiling so bright.

Suga Daddy: Part 6

Suga Daddy: Part Six

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word count: 6.5k

Genre: smut, angst


I was going to post this later but what the hellThis is in Yoongi’s pov, there will be more in his pov but I figured this needed to be done since I had some people freaking out over the last chapter. Thank you to anyone who has supported this story, it means the world to me. Anyway, hope you enjoy! (Also if you messaged me about how to make a masterlist, I forgot your username, i’m sorry! Message me again for the link it you still want it.)

Parts: one | two | three | four | five


Yoongi got to work and walked through the double glass front doors. The secretary, Gina, spoke to him. “Oh, Mr. Min, your friend Mr. Park is in your office to see you.”

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