Well. I don't know how to explain. Like: Steve in lace, trans!steve - just not my thing and yet I can't stop looking at it. I don't know - the trans!steve makes me sick and I love it at the same time, because you did a great job. Like I said, you confuse me and I love/hate it.
I don’t know if you meant your words to come off the way they did, but calling a trans person sick is extremely hurtful, and it sounds like you’re trying to be purposely cruel towards them when you say it. I have some trans friends and it breaks my heart to hear them referred to like this.
It sounds like you have some transphobia and discomfort with breaking down gender norms. People often feel that way when confronted by something society hasn’t yet normalised. Our instincts tell us to distrust what’s different, but humans are not just a product of instincts. We have the ability to reason and rationalize and to overcome inappropriate feelings and urges that may be “natural” but are still lacking in compassion and morality.
I don’t want this to be a “call out post” that just shames you for your feelings. The fact that you’ve reached out about your confusion is encouraging. It’s likely you’ve never met anyone who is trans or gender fluid so the idea (and visuals) are new to you.
I suspect the reason you’re fascinated by the manips is because Steve is someone you presumably really like, but he’s being paired with something that makes you feel uncomfortable. This forces you reevaluate how you feel about something you might not have thought about much beyond general discomfort. Cause it’s Steve. When someone you know and love is “othered” it forces you to look at the “other” differently because you now have to associate that category with someone you care for.
That’s the whole point of the art. It’s a good “discomfort” because it makes you think and reevaluate and hopefully walk away more open minded after you have a chance to wrap your mind around it.
In any case I’m glad you like the art and I hope this has given you something to think about.