i hate feet did you know

Tax Purposes

Prompt: jason or dick casually bringing up marriage to their S/O and freaking out when they realized what they said and being like “you know for tax reasons” or something totally random and unromantic because they don’t know if it’s too soon to bring it up

Words: 344

AN: Because I hate seeing everybody so sad.


          You smile as you slip the heels off of your feet, and relish the feeling of the cold tile. “I don’t know why you’re smiling, I just carried you up seven flights of stairs.” You scowl at your boyfriend.

          “That doesn’t negate the eight hours I just spent in them. I hate heels.”

          “Then why did you agree to wear them?”

          You shrug “It was Kori’s and Dick’s wedding, I was a bridesmaid, so I wore the heels.”

          Jason just smiles and scoops you up, while tossing the heels out into the hallway. He just winks at you “They deserve to be punished for hurting my girl.”

          You kiss his cheek as he carries you across the room and plops down on the couch with you in his laps. Leaning into his embrace, you smile as he snuggles you close. He kisses your forehead and says, “It was a nice wedding.”

          You nod, “They looked so happy.”        

          Jason scoffs, “Dick always looks happy, he’s like a golden retriever that way.”

          You giggle, “The food was good.”

          “What did you expect? Alfred basically planned the whole thing.”

          You kiss his jawline “You looked very dashing in your tux.”

          He smirks, “Well what did you expect?”

          “To be honest? For you to show up in jeans and a leather jacket, having lost the ring on the way.”

          “So little faith.” You meet his gaze and he winces, “Alfred held the ring until right before the ceremony, and required me there at six in the morning.” You just laugh as Jason’s hand continues to stroke your arm. “Do you ever think about it?”

          “About what?”

          “About getting married … you know for tax purposes?”

          You giggle, “I think about it. I’m not in any hurry, but I do think about it.”

          You feel him relax beneath you. “So what I’m hearing, is that you want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

          “I thought that was obvious when I didn’t kill you for bleeding all over the new couch.”

          “Which time?”

          You laugh, “Every time.”

The Signs as Things My Friends Have Said/Done
  • Aries: ”Like, honestly. Like, really. I’m gonna cut your head off. Seriously.”
  • Taurus: “1, 2, 3, DAB ATTACK!”
  • Gemini: “When I get bored, I honestly just stalk people on social media. No shame.”
  • Cancer: “Michael Clifford fuck me. And bring me ice cream. And cuddle me.” (I’ve actually said this, whoops.)
  • Leo: “Did you know that if a guy has big feet, he also has a big-” “YES WE KNOW.”
  • Virgo: “Is this organized enough?” When what they’re asking about is literally already perfect.
  • Libra: "I HATE WHEN PEOPLE THINK I'M FLIRTING WITH THEM, THAT'S JUST HOW I NATURALLY AM FBAIGBIEIBGQ."
  • Scorpio: "Holy fucking shit, I just wanna fuck him."
  • Aquarius: *Orders the most complicated Starbucks order in the world*
  • Capricorn: "OMG YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND PRETTY." *proceeds to talk shit about the person behind their back*
  • Sagittarius: "I love my new soccer mouth guard, I wanna wear it in public and scare children."
  • Pisces: "Slay. My. LIFE."

anonymous asked:

7 and 21

You didn’t specify a pairing for these, so I hope you don’t mind that I chose Adrinino for them! I’m just so feeling this ship right now, y’all don’t even know.

7: “You did what?!”

“You did what?!”

Adrien felt his cheeks heat up as he shuffled his feet, unsure how to answer. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, hell, a great idea. But now he thought maybe he it was too much…

“I wanted to make tonight special…” Adrien mumbled, hating how much his cheeks burned. He had to be as red as Ladybug’s suit by now. “It’s our first official date, I wanted to do something special.”

“Babe, babe, listen to me.” Nino said, grasping his boyfriend’s shoulders and shaking him slightly. “When you want to do something nice for our first date, you buy flowers, or chocolate, or that new CD I’ve been hinting at. You don’t buy out an entire restaurant.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I wanted to make sure everything went perfectly.” He mumbled, feeling incredibly embarrassed. God, why did he have to be so stupid sometimes? He probably made Nino incredibly uncomfortable at the amount of money he spent… The date had hardly even began, and here Adrien was ruining the entire thing.

“Adrien Agreste, you are the most dramatic boy I’ve ever been in love with,” Nino said, pulling Adrien in for a passionate kiss. When Nino pulled away a moment later, Adrien was breathless and a little weak in the knees. “You sure do know how to treat a bro though, don’t you?” Nino said, clapping Adrien on the back.

“Like I said, I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. I didn’t want any loud or nosy or rude patrons ruining our night… I thought privacy would be nice too…”

“Well, it’s the most memorable first date I’ve ever been on.” Nino said, nudging Adrien lightly.

“What, your first date wasn’t more memorable than this? What could be more fantastic than a ride throughout Paris, ending with a picnic on the Eiffel Tower?” Adrien teased, feeling a little better knowing that Nino wasn’t mad at him.

“Being on a date with my best bro, that’s what.” Nino said, throwing him a wink. “Now what do you say we take a seat? Apparently we have a lot to choose from.” The DJ thread his fingers through Adrien’s, leading him to a secluded booth with romantically dim lighting. A waiter met them at the table, handing out menu’s and offering to bring the wine over. After the man left, Adrien turned to his boyfriend with a grin.

“Now, about that CD you mentioned,” He said, taking a small package out of his jacket pocket. He couldn’t hold in his laughter at the look on Nino’s face.

You didn’t.


21.  “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“It does if you simplify the polynomial by factoring out the binomials using distributive property,”

“Dude, none of what you just said makes any sense!” Nino said, slumping on the desk in front of him, knocking the calculus textbook onto the floor. “It’s hopeless man, I stink at this stuff!”

Adrien smiled softly at his boyfriend’s antics. He rubbed Nino’s shoulders affectionately, trying to release some of the tension out of him. “I know it’s complicated, let’s start from the beginning.” Nino just groaned in response.

“There’s no point dude!” Nino exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I don’t know why I need to know any of this anyways, I don’t plan on being some math robot after graduation! What do binomial factors have to do with spinning sick beats anyways?”

“I’m sure I could apply it somehow…” Adrien mused, causing Nino to punch him lightly on the arm.

“Thanks for trying to tutor me babe, but I’m pretty sure it’s a lost cause.”

Nino regretted the words the second they left his mouth. Adrien’s eyes danced with mischief and the allure of a challenge. He looked less like the supermodel heartthrob, and more like a certain mangy black cat that was found roaming around Paris…

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He murmured, leaning in closer to Nino. The DJ felt his breath hitch as his boyfriend moved closer, eyes widening as the blonde licked his lips, never taking his eyes off of Nino. “Why don’t we make this a little more interesting, hmm?” Nino felt himself bobbing his head without really realizing it. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the boy’s lips as they inched closer to his.

“Good!” Adrien chirped, straightening up. He stood and picked up the neglected calculus textbook, and Nino shook himself out of the daze. Adrien sat down next to him again, and Nino burned wherever they touched. “Now, for every equation that you properly factor, you’ll earn yourself a reward.” The blond sent a flirtatious wink towards Nino, who felt his stomach drop. “The more you do, the more you get.”

Nino had never worked so fast in his life.

Chapter 2

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

You opened your eyes and moaned when you noticed that you laid flat on your stomach on a floor that smelled like beer. Every muscle and bone in your body hurt. “Bonnie Bennett. I hate you.” You hissed between your teeth and tried your very best to push yourself up.

“What did you do to piss her off?”

Once your feet were on the ground again you straightened your back and slowly you turned around.

Kai sat on the stage. Chains tied his body to the chair, but his devilish smirk hadn’t faded.

“That’s for me to know and for you to guess.” You crossed your arms over your chest and cocked your head. “I see she did quite a number on you.”

“O, those chains? No big deal. I’d even call it kinky.” He bit his lips. “Although, I think the excitement started to fade a couple of hours ago already. So, we’ll have to do the entire foreplay again, I’m afraid.”

You raised your eyebrows. “You do realize she was not planning on coming back ever again, do you?” You walked towards him.

Bonnie had been smart enough to lock the chains with magic, but it wasn’t something you couldn’t fix.

If you wanted to fix it that was.

“Really? She wasn’t planning on coming back? This wasn’t all part of some sexual fantasy she wanted to play out with me?” Kai rolled his eyes. “I might have some unusual connections in my brain, but that doesn’t mean my brain stopped functioning completely.” He stared at you and the look in his eyes hardened. “Are you going to free me? Or could you at least make this thing play another song?”

“What did you do to piss her off that much that she let two toddlers create an entire prison world, which you can’t even fully enjoy because she tied you to chair in this bar with this horrible music and an even worse brand of beer on the tap.”

“Me? Why do you automatically assume that I did something?” Kai spoke softly, before his lips curled up into a mocking smile. “I don’t think she liked me going after the twins with an axe that much. I thought it was a fun game to play. Instead they knocked me out and I woke up here.”

You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath. “Haven’t you outgrown hide and seek by now, Kai Parker?” You shook your head and walked towards the iron chains. Carefully you placed your hand on them and after you had murmured a few latin words you heard a loud click.

“Finally!” Kai jumped up and rushed towards the music player to look for another tune. “Damn, I had never thought I could grow to hate a certain song this much. Talking about which, I’m getting quite hungry too. I think I’m gonna find some burger restaurant somewhere in this ghost town.” He stared at you for a moment before he opened the door and disappeared to who knew where.

You sighed and a part of you wondered why you had asked Bonnie to bring you here.

I am what I feel

Another short chapter, and this one is only lutteo, I know it I suck but hey, this is an actual important one so I hope you guys enjoy it.

Chapter 8  (Find the other chapters here)

I can’t look back, not when I’d want to come to you 

Luna walks looking down at her feet, a sigh escaping her lips every few steps, every time Matteo’s face appears on her mind. She hates this, this shouldn’t be happening to her, she shouldn’t let herself be weak like this. She shouldn’t let herself be weak for him. It even got in  the way of her doing her job, for fuck’s sake, she let it get too far and now she doesn’t know how to stop it, this boy already creeped his way into her heart and now she can’t get him out of it and that’s the most dangerous thing she can think of.

Keep reading

[Simon asks River how she’s doing.]
River: [smiles] Played with Kaylee. The sun came out, and… I walked on my feet, and… heard with my ears. [more raggedly] I ate the bits. The bits did stay down. And I work. I… function like I’m a girl. [sobbing] I hate it because I know it’ll go away. The sun goes dark, and chaos is come again. It’s fluids! What am I?!
Simon: You are my beautiful sister.
River: I-I threw up on your bed.
Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.

Imaging Having a ‘Brother’s Day’

Request:  Hey can I have an imagine where Winchester sister (who is a teenager) turns Father’s Day into ‘brother’s day’ so she can say thank you to them for raising her and to reassure them they did better job than John. Thanks, sorry if it’s too detailed. - Anonymous

Author’s Note: So, I know, y’all I know, that Father’s Day was like two months ago. So don’t come at me. Also, don’t give any hate about how John’s interpretation in this. I know a lot of people in this fandom don’t like him when some do. I’m about 50/50 because sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. I’m sorry this took forever to get out. – Haley xx


You sat in a library chair with your feet up on the table. Dean and Sam should be walking through those metal doors soon and your nerves where sky high. Today was Father’s Day and while your dad had been dead a few years, you really weren’t keen on celebrating it for him.

Dean and Sam were the ones who raised you while your dad was off. Dean was the one who taught you how to drive; Sam was the one who helped you on your homework every night. They took care of you and protected you while your dad hauled you three around and especially when he disappeared to find Azazel.

The timer from the stove when off and you flew up from your chair. You had bought a few frozen pies, because you were not going to bake any in case you messed it up, so you heated them up while you fixed a homemade meal. Two present boxes sat on the table one addressed to Dean and one to Sam.

There wasn’t that much you could afford. You had to spend most of the money on food and supplies, but you had a few dollars left over and bought each brother a new flannel. It wasn’t anything outrageous, but they deserved something new.

You put the pies on a cooling rack and shut the oven door with your hip when you heard someone cough behind you. You turned around and saw your brothers standing in the doorway smiling at you.

“What’s all this?” Sam asked.

“Did you buy pie?” Dean asked, walking over to the oven.

“I did. I thought maybe we could celebrate today a little different,” you said.

“What is today?” they both asked.

“Traditionally, it’s Father’s Day. But since you two raised me, I thought we could have a Brother’s Day,” you shrugged sheepishly.

“We didn’t really raise you,” Dean said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yes, you did. If I didn’t have you two for older brothers, I wouldn’t have turned out like this. I don’t even know if dad would have kept me. And I’m not trying to make you all upset or anything…” you sighed. “I just want you all to know I really love you.“

Sam smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. “We love you too, sis. You didn’t have to go all out for us, though.”

“Is this store bought pie?” Dean asked, opening up some drawers and grabbing a fork.

You laughed. “I know I didn’t, but I really wanted too. I hope you all like everything.”

Dean shoveled some pie into his mouth before leaving a sticky kiss on your forehead. “Food and what are these?” Dean asked, going up to the boxes and shaking one. “Presents too? Let’s do Brother’s Day every year!”

Sam rolled his eyes and squeezed you hard again. “Thank you.”

anonymous asked:

Heyo, I can you wish me luck in getting a job? Also what do you think of foot fetishes? I (personally I ain't for them lol)

BEST OF LUCK BABY BOO I’M SENDING YOU ALL OF THE GOOD VIBES AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS TBH <3 LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

And oh my god what kind of a can of worms are we opening okay oKAY I CANNOT STAND FEET I HATE FEET SO MUCH THEY’RE SO WEIRD LOOKING WHY DO TOES EXIST WHAT KIND OF A WORLD oh my god I stiffen up so much when someone puts their feet near me my mom asked me to give her a pedicure once as a birthday gift n I almost passed out (did it tho cause it’s my mom but I’ve never been so close to death)

I really want to thank you for an amazing and school-free (well in the evening) day because it was really refreshing doing nothing just watching series and tv (I told you why I hate it at home with the big feet and socks) but it’s sooo much better at your house c: also I got sooo happy when your brother called me his second sister on whatsapp because that sounds really cute and I really enjoy playing games with him because no one at my home likes it and now I found someone who does :p andd the goodnight kiss definetely took some courage but I’m really glad I did it c: although at the same time I know I’ll miss it every night I’m sleeping alone :p

Current Me: I came back in time four weeks to tell you … you’re about to watch your new favorite movie. 

Past Me: ‘K. 

Current Me: It’s the fourth installment in a series. 

Past Me: … Okay … 

Current Me: It’s an action movie about cars, essentially a two hour car chase scene. 

Past Me: But I hate – 

Current Me: Yeah, I know. Listen. It stars the dude who played Bane in that shitty Batman movie. It was directed by the same guy who helmed such classics as Happy Feet, and Happy Feet 2. 

Past Me: I – 

Current Me: His most recent live-action film? Babe 2: Pig in the City. 

The Zodiac Signs as Old Ladies

Aries: Very intimidating. Why? She is 6 feet tall and has an “I’m gonna fuck you up” glare. On the bright side, she is still rocking her old shorts and flower tattoos. Plus she has purple hair.
Taurus: The lady you always try to avoid. She lives in the past and hate how things have changed; tries to open your path to God (unless she is an Atheist, but what are the chances?)
Gemini: “God, did you know that Vera has a new job? She is getting paid very well. I don’t know how you can get so much money by cleaning and cooking. But you know, her bosses wife died 4 years ago…”.
Cancer: Sweetest old lady on the block! Gives of a fairy-god mother vibe.
Leo: Can you even call her old? She looks like a movie star and walks with her head up high.
Virgo: It’s either “I’m so busy, nobody helps me at home! I need a break but who’s going to give it to me?” or “I finished all my work and I have nothing to do. I’ve never felt so bored!”
Libra: Her character is so up to date, she would go to the club with you!
Scorpio: Is always talking about her dead family members and crying.
Sagittarius: This lady doesn’t have any friends her own age because everybody talks shit about her. Why? She has done some socialy unacceptable things in the past that would be pretty normal today. But her grandkids love her stories and the fact that she is so open minded.
Capricorn: The really serious old lady that you have to be careful around.
Aquarius: The lady that looks and acts like a fortune teller.
Pisces: Her walls are covered in artwork and all the artsy kids love visiting her house!

“I’m sorry.” He said. Who did he think he was coming into my life loving me and then leaving me and acting like he didn’t know who I was. I was angry. I hated him.
“Fuck you for making me feel this way. I loved you and cared about you more than I did myself. I was good to you. You were my best friend. What did I do to deserve this. I loved you so fucking much.”
He just stood there in shock. I wanted him to tell me how much he loves me and say that I was his person, but he didn’t. He just silently stood there looking at his feet.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write|| (via jordannbessent)

It feels like swallowed.

It feels like trying to crawl
out of your body and into
theirs. It feels like the top
of the roller coaster.

It feels like screaming.

It feels like worrying that
you are not beautiful
enough to feel these
beautiful things and it is
hating yourself every
once in a while for worrying
like you do. 

It is talking about it.

It is saline.

It is watching the dirt you
didn’t know took up so
much space inside of you,
pour out into dunes at
your feet.

It is “why the fuck did i 
say that can people stop
loving other people because
of one stupid thing??”

It is self-remedy.

It is getting better at being
yourself while someone
sings in your ear, while
someone tells you how
proud of you they are for
choosing to take it all in.

It is letting be.

It is god’s last words.

It is “how in the hell" 
and "thank god.”

It feels like planting flowers
beneath your skin and
having them emerge from
the places where the surface
was tender and raw and
unhealing. It is not having
that emergence hurt.

It feels like coming back.
It feels like nothing else,
just right here. It feels like
every day is an embrace.

—  “the thing words cannot do.” by Emma Bleker
  • person: The dinosaurs in the Jurassic park franchise are scientifically inaccurate and are designed to look “cool” rather than realistic. Did you know Velociraptors were actually only two feet high?
  • translation: i hate fun things.