i hate everthing

3

“I wish you were here, I wish you’d make my bed. Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head. Take a breath my heart ,and hold your tongue. It’s just a cog in the year of all my love…”

"Pretty Little Head” - Eliza Rickman I don’t think I’m ready for entry #86 yet, both physically and mentally.

I’d like to blame all the bullshit that’s wrong with me on you, but it’s not your fault.

Its not your fault you left.
Its not your fault you wanted better.
Its not your fault that there are greater people in this world and that’s what you wanted.

Its my fault because I pushed you away.
Its my fault because I couldn’t be a better person.
Its my fault because I let you know that there are people greater than me.

—  You’re gone and I miss you

I just want to meet someone who interests me,

Who really legitimately makes me intrigued into who they are and what they think.

Someone who isn’t just good for a fuck, someone who is a headfuck.

Someone who I would think is just lovely. 

Its so difficult for me to love anything. 

Everyone is so boring.

Someone to be my Lucy Ford.

Someone I will hate as much as I love.

Maybe i’m just really lonely.

Maybe i’m just really fucked in the head.

I want to be loved i guess.