i hate be alone

.

I feel like I need to clarify something

I still have dark days

There are still days when I look in the mirror and see something that isn’t there. Where I start planning and telling myself just one last time. I can’t get there again. I can carve flesh from bone. I still have it in me.

But it’s just that. It’s just a dark day.

Because the fact is that I don’t hate myself anymore. I am no longer alone. I have life in me. I have love. I have too much to destroy myself again.

And so I go on. I live. I let the dark day pass

Had a meltodnw

And I’m still crying and my breathing is out of whack. My throat hurts and my blanket is wet which is hell.
I just want to be completely alone with no one in the house. I hate feeling so completely awful and spiteful and ridiculous

2

Andrew Minyard didn’t look like much in person, blonde and five feet even, but Neil knew better. Andrew was the Foxes’ freshman goalkeeper and their deadliest investment.