I just got this great comment by aronin3151984 on AO3 and now I can’t help imagine this:
[Villains and Heroes are in the middle of a dramatic standoff]
Doom (sneers): You and your precious band of misfits don’t have a chance, Captain America!
Crossbones: Yeah! Because we will have Iron Man!
Tony (raises eyebrow in surprise)
Rhodey (sarcastic): Oh really?
Crossbones (smirks): Yes. Now come, join us on the Dark Side, Stark, because we have COOKIES!
Henchman #367 (pulls out basket of freshly baked, still warm cookies with melted chocolate chips)
Rhodey (horrified): Oh shit.
Captain America (laughing): Tony would never betray us for cookies of all things
Tony (stares intently at cookies with wide, glazed eyes)
Captain America (laugh falters): Tony? …uh oh…
Rhodey (desperate): Tony, NO! REMEMBER YOUR OATH!!!
Tony (shakes head): Right. Right. LOKI! GET OVER HERE!!
Everyone (blinks in surprised confusion)
Loki (doesn’t move, challenging): And why should I do that, Man of Iron?
Tony (blissed out smile): Because the Dark Side may have cookies but the Light Side has COFFEE
Villains (staring at Loki in alarm): !!!!
Loki (looks torn)
Tony: And take the cookies with you!
Villains (sadly skulking off to their secret emergency hide-outs, muttering): coffee…coffee…WE SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED THE COFFEE!!!