i has cookies

I just got this great comment by aronin3151984 on AO3 and now I can’t help imagine this:


[Villains and Heroes are in the middle of a dramatic standoff]

Doom (sneers): You and your precious band of misfits don’t have a chance, Captain America!

Crossbones: Yeah! Because we will have Iron Man!

Tony (raises eyebrow in surprise)

Rhodey (sarcastic): Oh really?

Crossbones (smirks): Yes. Now come, join us on the Dark Side, Stark, because we have COOKIES!

Henchman #367 (pulls out basket of freshly baked, still warm cookies with melted chocolate chips)

Rhodey (horrified): Oh shit.

Captain America (laughing): Tony would never betray us for cookies of all things

Tony (stares intently at cookies with wide, glazed eyes)

Captain America (laugh falters): Tony? …uh oh…

Rhodey (desperate): Tony, NO! REMEMBER YOUR OATH!!!

Tony (shakes head): Right. Right. LOKI! GET OVER HERE!!

Everyone (blinks in surprised confusion)

Loki (doesn’t move, challenging): And why should I do that, Man of Iron?

Tony (blissed out smile): Because the Dark Side may have cookies but the Light Side has COFFEE

Villains (staring at Loki in alarm): !!!!

Loki (looks torn)

Tony: And take the cookies with you!


Later:

Villains (sadly skulking off to their secret emergency hide-outs, muttering): coffee…coffee…WE SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED THE COFFEE!!!

I am 7 years late to this fandom

MatPat: *takes a deep breath*

MatPat: i lo-

Jason: yes, you love Stephanie, we know, you love Stephanie so much, she’s the light of your life, you love her so much, you just love Stephanie we KNOW, you love Stephanie you fucking love Stephanie okay we know, we get it, YOU LOVE STEPHANIE FUCKING PATRICK. WE GET IT.

Kisame: I’M A RUTHLESS KILLER!
*best known for his ability to take enemies alive*

Kisame: MY MIGHTY BLADE IS AS TERRIBLE AS I AM!
*his sword literally wags its hilt and licks people’s faces like a puppy*

Kisame: NO COMRADE IS SAFE IN MY PRESENCE!
*asks his comrade to come out of the rain so he doesn’t catch a cold*

“Be my Valentine!”

i just got a ridiculous idea

doing a momswap AU

but except it being a regular momswap AU all of the gems are swapped around in completely ridiculous ways for the heck of it, and most of the swaps have no logic behind them, and are completely random

when i say random and/or illogical swaps i’m saying like

amethyst as aquamarine but aquamarine as peridot

peridot as lapis but lapis as rose quartz

blue zircon as pearl but pearl as bismuth

jasper as amethyst and bismuth as topaz

holly blue agate as jasper but rose quartz as holly blue agate

sapphire as blue zircon and padparadscha as green zircon

rhodonite as garnet

it could be creatively named “Mom Jumble”

three types of people at a wedding proposal 

137 Winter  Writing Prompts!

1. “Come out in the snow with me!”

2. “I can’t believe it’s already snowing,”

3. “Want some cocoa?”

4. “I’m baking!”

5. "I can’t feel my legs.”

6. “Don’t open those till later!”

7. “What’d you get me?”

8. “Thanks for the.. Uh.. Gift?”

9. “I have no clue what this is supposed to be.”

10. "I’d rather stay inside.”

11. “The house is so warm.”

12. “It’s warm inside.”

13. “There’s no way I’m going out in that weather!”

14. “Is this the first time you’ve seen snow?”

15. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

16. “Happy New Year’s Eve eve eve eve eve eve eve!”

17. “It’s New Years, aren’t you going to kiss me?”

18. “I wonder where that mistletoe came from.”

19. “Do we have to kiss at midnight?”

20. “Hug me so I can Get warm.”

21. “You’re like a heater!”

22. “Bah humbug.”

23. “You’re useless with wrapping presents!”

24. “Why did you get this for me?”

25. “Merry Christmas, you dork!”

26. “You can wait another 24 hours to open presents.”

27. “I hate waiting.”

28. “Let’s listen to Christmas albums and get drunk off of eggnog.”

29. “Eggnog sucks, fight me.”

30. “Eggnog rules, bite me.”

31. “You’re as red as Rudolph!”

32. “Christmas hats are the bomb, okay?”

33. “Let this be over now.”

34. “No, you can not start listening to Christmas albums before Halloween.” - “Well I disagree.”

35. “Halloween is better.”

36. “Let’s have Hallowmas!”

37. “Isn’t the snow just amazing?”

38. “No white Christmas this year…”

39. “Let’s see who can catch the most snowflakes with their tongue!”

40. “Snow angels!”

41. “Do you wanna Build a-” - “Absolutely not.”

42. “You look cute when you’re cold.”

43. “Let’s sit by the fire.”

44. “Up to roasting marshmallows?”

45. “Come on! Can I open just one?”

46. “You have flour on you face.”

47. “Who knew making cookies was this hard?”

48. “Easier said than done.”

49. “Let’s go get some pre made dough.”

50. “We burned it all…”

51. “Ginger bread people are very serious!”

52. “Cookie frosting contest!!!”

53. “I think I’ve has enough cookies for two years… Wait is that pie?”

54. “Let’s have an all pie Christmas!”

55. “What do you mean ‘too many cookies’?”

56. “Can you reach that spot on the tree?”

57. “We have to get that tree!”

58. “Did someone spike the eggnog?”

59. “Yes I have four trees. Don’t judge me.”

70. “Where’s the topper!”

71. “The tree looks… Nice…”

72. “Oh wow.”

73. “We must win the house lights contest!”

74. “I think we need glitter.”

75. “I made too much tea. Didn’t i?”

76. “Want some tea?”

77. “Did someone eat half of the cookies?!?”

78. “Just because it’s Christmas/New Years doesn’t mean I have to dress up.”

79. “It’s New Years/ Christmas! Of course I need to dress up!”

80. “What the hell do I get them?”

81. “That’s perfect for them!”

82. “Light the candle!”

83. “Why is it so damn cold?”

84. “Happy Hanukkah!”

85. “Let’s watch stupid Christmas movies and get wasted.”

86. "It’s too cold to do anything!”

87. “thanks for the gift… I guess.”

88. “Hey, at least you tried.”

89. “Snow ball fight!!!”

90. “Our ginger bread house is just… Sad.”

91. "My cookies are far better than yours.”

92. “Oh my GOD how did you make these!?!”

93. “This is the best cookie I’ve very eaten.”

94. “This is the worst cookie I’ve ever eaten.”

95. "How could someone make food this badly?”

96. “tea is so much better than cocoa!”

97. “Cocoa is superior to tea!”

98. “Why are we fighting over beverages!?!”

99. “Sit down and eat the damn food!”

100. “We need to make food for how many people?!?”

101. "You’re cute when you’re freezing.”

102. “All I want for Christmas is you!”

103. “No way you’re going out in the snow in that!”

104. “Did you actually get a Santa suit?”

105. “Catching snowflakes with your tongue is harder than it looks…”

106. “I may die if it gets any colder.”

107. “Finally! Snow!”

108. “Happy Festivus!”

109. “So you’re telling me that you got everyone dollar store makeup for their gifts?!?””

110. “It’s Christmas! You’d think at least someone would be selling trees!”

111. “Wake me up when it’s Christmas.”

112. “Wake me up when Winter’s over.”

113. “Winter is my favorite time of the year!”

114. “Who stole all the gifts!?!”

115. “There’s so much snow in my boots.”

116. “We’re snowed in!”

117. “Are you sure you want to get me a gift?”

118. “I don’t deserve you…”

119. “So… Looks like we’re the only ones without dates, huh.”

120. “Wanna kiss?”

121. “I’m alone on valentines day. What could get worse?”

122. “Looks like we’re stuck here until all the snow blows over..”

123. “Seriously!?! The powers out?”

124. “Who sent these chocolates and flowers?”

125. “I don’t deserve this gift, Y/n. You have to take it back.”

126. “I think eating Chocolate alone on a holiday is completely normal.”

127. “Did i actually sleep through Christmas/New years/ Hanukkah?”

128.1 ‘Did you actually dye your hair red and green?”

128.2 “Seriously did you dye your hair blue for winter?”

128.3 “How is it possible to dye your hair gold for new years.”

129. “We’re not going to spend the holidays alone and sad. i won’t allow that!”

130. “I’m bringing the holiday party to you!”

131. “Please come over. I don’t want to be alone on Christmas.”

132. “Yes i’m out clubbing on new years. Please just pick me up!”

134. “I think i love you. Wow that sounds so cliche.”

135.  “I know that people usually kiss under mistletoe but.. I had other things planned.”

136. “Seriously, staring at me won’t get me to be your new years date.”

137. “You know i could never leave you alone on your favorite holiday.”


I’m accepting requests for this list! If you want to send some in that’s be great! 

Free use for everyone! Please just link back to my list/Give any type of credit if used. @avengersfictionxreader

  • Me, running out towards the ocean on a beach: OCEAN!!! OCEAN!!! I'M COMING TO GIVE YOU A BIG HUG!!! I LOVE YOU OCEAN!!!
  • Ocean: (big waves roll onto the beach)
  • Me: (runs away screaming)
I See You Kitty- Miraculous Ladybug fic Chapter 2

  Chapter 1                                               

                                                    Chapter 2

“Okay, okay.” Alya finished wiping up the spilled beer on the table. “Let’s not further trash my apartment Max.”

“Sorry, I just really wanted to beat Nathanael.”

“Dude, who knew you both could drink so much!” Nino laughed as Nathanael’s face turned red.

“It’s always the quiet ones,” Kim laughed as he finished his bottle.

“Whose turn is it now?” Juleka asked as she sat back down on the couch beside Rose.

“Ooh ooh! Can I please go?” Rose squealed. Everyone groaned.

“Rose, honey, you have asked everyone the same question during each of your turns.” Alya said as she put her hair up in a quick ponytail.

“I just wanted to know what everyone’s favorite type of flower is.”

“Marinette hasn’t gone yet!” Nino winked as the blue haired girl froze.

“It’s okay. I don’t need a turn. Rose can have mine!”

“Oh no girl. It’s my birthday and you are not getting out of this one.”

“But…”

“No buts Marinette. And since you are the only one who hasn’t gone yet, I’m going to give you a dare.”

“Alya, can’t I just pick truth.”

“Sure you can,” Alya grinned wickedly, “who do you have a crush on right now?”

“Eeek! I’ll… I’ll stick with the dare.” Marinette felt the blush return to her cheeks. Everyone was staring but she could not take her eyes off of Alya whose grin was getting bigger and bigger.

Oh no, thought Marinette.

“Mari, I dare you to…” Alya looked around the room as if she didn’t already know exactly what she was going to say to her best friend. If she won’t try to move on with Adrien then I will just have to give her a helpful shove in another direction. “I dare you to kiss Chat Noir.”

“Ooh she went there. Did anyone else know that we could do that?” Max turned to Kim and asked.

“If I would have known that I would have dared Juleka and Rose to kiss a while ago.”

“You do realize that we are dating and kiss quite frequently right?” Juleka gave a quick half smile as Rose giggled and kissed her forehead. Not that Juleka would ever admit it, but forehead kisses were her favorite.

Marinette stood up from the arm of the chair as Chat Noir began stalking towards her.

“Well, the birthday girl has spoken.” He smirked as she backed herself up into the corner of the room. “What’s the matter Princess? Cat got your tongue?”

Now is not the time for your puns chaton! Marinette had not kissed Chat Noir since Dark Cupid. Not that she hadn’t wanted to. Ahh stop thinking about it! Get your head straight. You like Adrien. Chat is just your partner. A good friend. Your best friend after Alya. Ugh don’t think about it. Where is my lucky charm when I need one? Marinette closed her eyes, half wishing that she had never met Alya in the first place. She is so going to pay for this.

Chat Noir stopped in front of her and cupped her face, covering it with his clawed glove. He leaned forward slowly, clearly enjoying the show he was putting on and kissed Marinette’s cheek. It looked like a simple kiss on the lips to everyone else though. Marinette opened her eyes and Chat winked before taking a step back from her.

“That’s not fair,” Nino whined to Alya.

“Would you rather be kissing me tonight or your superhero?”

“Do I have to choose?”

“Do you want to sleep on the couch?” Nino shook his head no and pouted.

“Good.” Alya laughed, stealing his hat and putting it on herself.

Suddenly, screams filled the air from the city outside.

“What was that?” Marinette asked as she scrambled over to the window. Everyone followed behind as more voices rang out. The street lamps were just beginning to turn on as the sun went down.

“I AM OURANOS! EVERYONE MUST KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A PART OF THE SKY!”

“Oh no, look up there!” Rose shouted. People and pets were floating in the sky as Ouranos struck them.

“It’s an akuma!” Marinette said, already trying to figure out how she could leave the party to transform into Ladybug.

“Pfft… pfft…” Everyone turned around to face Chat. He was holding his hands over his mouth and tears were beginning to spring from his eyes.

“Chat? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Marinette reached a hand out to him but Chat bust out laughing before he could answer.

Falling to the floor in a fit of laughter and giggles Chat snorted. “Oh my god. He said… ha… he said Uranus! That… that is… oh wow that is so amazing. Ha! I have to give it to… Hawkmoth. He really outdid himself this time! I just… I have nothing to say. That is amazing all by itself. Pfft… Uranus!”

Marinette groaned before grabbing Chat by one of his ears. “Don’t you think that you should be leaving now? You know, to go stop the akuma before he gets out of hand?”

“You’re… your right Princess,” he said as he tried, unsuccessfully, to stop laughing. “It was a great party Alya. Wish I could stay but… doody calls. HA!”

“Chat.”

“I’m going. I’m going.” He smiled and waved to everyone one last time before extending his baton and swinging out the window towards the Eiffel Tower where the akuma was lurking.

“Nino, grab my camera! We have to get going now!” Alya said as she rushed into the closet to put her shoes on. 

“Babe, it’s your birthday. Can’t you just stay inside tonight where it’s safe? Chat and Ladybug can handle this one.”

“I have a duty to the Ladyblog and my fans. I’m going, are you coming with me?”

Nino sighed and grabbed her camera off the counter in the kitchen before giving his friends a half wave and following Alya out the door. “Feel free to stay here or head home. Just lock the door on the way out please? Thanks guys. Alya wait up!” The door closed and everyone stared at each other in silence.

“Well, uhm, I should… I should get going then. You guys… stay safe and everything. Uhm, bye!” Marinette ran out the door as she threw her purse over her shoulder. Hiding under the stairs at the bottom of the flat she opened the flap. “Tikki, spots on!”

Ladybug appeared a few seconds later and began running through the streets of Paris. A few quick lifts from her yo-yo and the rooftops were her highway.

“Nice of you to finally show up My Lady. Sorry to tear you away from your important family event tonight.”

“Hello Chat,” she smiled as his tail twitched in anticipation as she wound her yo-yo back up. Such a cat.

“Alya says thank you for your present by the way. Not that she was able to open it before this guy showed up.”

“I’m sure you have already gotten the giggles out of your system?”

“Oh come on Ladybug, he was asking for it with a name like… pfft… Uranus!”

Not again, Ladybug mentally sighed before looking away from her partner.

“I AM OURANOS! ALL WILL SEE HOW HARD IT IS TO FLY.” The akuma landed on the top of the Eiffel Tower and threw more of his paper airplanes at the Parisians below.

“I’m guessing that this pilot wasn’t too happy about his test today.” Ladybug said as she pointed out Ouranos’ jacket pocket where a certificate of flight readiness marked with red peeked out. “That must be where the akuma is. Chat,” she looked over at Chat who was still wiping tears from his eyes from laughing so hard. “I need you to get that paper from him. Can you do that?”

“Of course My Lady, I’ll just get him backed up against the rails.” He smiled before shaking his head. “No, that one wasn’t very good. I’ll just settle for his name being funny tonight.”

“Good idea Chat. Let’s go!” They jumped off the roof to swing closer to the tower.

“LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR. I AM…”

“For the love of everything that is good about this world, do not say that word again.” Ladybug groaned as Chat pointed at the akumatized victim and laughed again.

“Never mind the theatrics. Just get their miraculouses and together we can make everyone pay for failing you.” Hawkmoth whispered to Ouranos. He had grown tired of the games over the past years as he tried and failed again to obtain the jewels of Cat Noir and Ladybug. He chose his targets more carefully than before and each one grew more and more dangerous for Paris’ superheroes to fight alone.

“GIVE ME YOUR MIRACULOUSES AND THEN YOU CAN JOIN ME IN THE SKY.”

“No thanks, I’d rather not join Uranus. Man this is never going to get old.” Chat leapt at the akuma to grab the paper but Ouranos was too fast for him and flew out of reach.

“The novelty of it has already worn off Chat.

Chat Noir landed on his baton and turned around so his tail was facing Ladybug. “So you’re telling me that I’m the butt of this joke?”

“You’re going to lose one of those nine lives here soon chaton.”

“Okay, okay. That was the last one. Cat’s honor.”

“Good. Let’s finish this then” Ladybug and Chat each tried, unsuccessfully, to grab the paper from his jacket. Hawkmoth had given him the power of flight so it was hard for them to reach him.

“Hey man!” Chat and Ladybug turned around to see Nino floating through the sky after being struck with one of the paper planes.

“Nino! Are you okay?” Chat yelled as he dodged another plane aimed for him.

“Yeah! This isn’t so bad. It’s a good thing that I’m not afraid of heights.”

“Where’s Alya?” Ladybug knew they had come together. She just hoped that Alya had been smart and stayed hidden. She needs to stop getting herself caught up in all of this.

“Ladybug! Catch!” Alya’s voice rang out from above her as Ladybug turned around to see another paper airplane fly at her only this one was different.

The flight certificate! Alya must have grabbed ahold of Ouranus after being hit and gotten the paper from him.

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug called out and a dreamcatcher appeared as she reached out to grab the plane with it before Ouranus could get it back. He roared as Ladybug tore the paper into two. “Miraculous Ladybug!” A flash of red and black swept through the sky and the city streets as everyone was returned back to the Earth.

“Aww yeah. Pound it!” Chat said as he reached where she stood. The akumatized victim stood up on the street below them, holding on to the halves of his paper. Chat jumped down to wait at his side until the ambulance showed up. He enjoyed talking to the victims until they could get cleared by the medical teams. They always appreciated having someone listen to their side of the story and sometimes they gave Chat information on Hawkmoth.

Beep. Beep. Ladybug’s earring sounded as she swung through the city to get back home before her transformation wore off. She had to stop in the alleyway outside her side door since her parents would be expecting Marinette to be coming home.

“Can we get some cookies before we go up to your room Marinette? I’m kind of hungry.”

“Of course Tikki. I made some fresh ones for you earlier.”

“You’re the best!” Tikki nestled back inside Marinette’s bag as she unlocked and opened the door.

“Maman, Papa, I’m home.”

“Hi honey,” Sabine called out as Marinette grabbed the bag of cookies off the counter and headed upstairs. Her parents turned off the TV and stood up from the couch. “How was Alya’s party?”

“It was fun but an akuma showed up by the Eiffel Tower so I came home after Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up to stop him.”

“Oh no! Is everyone all right?”

“Yeah they took care of it.”

“We are lucky to have such amazing heroes in our city,” Tom smiled as he grabbed his wife’s hand. “We are also lucky that you made it home okay.”
“We’re heading to bed now. Don’t stay up too late. I know you’re an adult now but you promised to help open the bakery tomorrow.”

“I’m headed to bed too Maman. I’ll be up early. Love you!” Marinette hugged her parents as they told her they loved her back and headed to her room upstairs. As she had gotten older she had convinced her parents to put in a new door that was thicker and had a lock on it. It allowed her to play her music louder while she designed and prevented them from popping their heads in on her in case she needed to transform and leave the house undetected for a little bit.

“Here you go Tikki.” Marinette set the cookies on the bookshelf by her desk as Tikki fluttered out of her black bag. The kwami grabbed the pile and darted into her cubby on the top shelf that she had made her home as Marinette grabbed pajamas.

She walked into the bathroom to scrub the makeup off of her face and brush her teeth. Her hair was getting so long that it was hard to keep tied up in pigtails so she decided to pile it up on top of her head in a messy bun to keep it out of her face while she slept. The worst thing ever was to wake up and try to move only to realize that her hair had gotten stuck in her armpit of tangled in her hands.

Marinette flicked her string lights off and padded over to her bed. Her curtains let in a small sliver of light from the full moon that had now fully risen. Sitting on the edge of her bed, Marinette chuckled softly as one of her plants moved outside.

“I see you kitty.”