i had very high expectations for this movie and it definitely didn't live up to all of them

i’m in the hospital because my dad is having surgery and i’ll be here alllllllll day so prepare for a hospital headcanon! (i’m sort of nervous and jittery rn so please excuse that this isn’t my best writing. it sort of falls apart at the end but it’S FINE)

So Neil has to get bloodwork and some shots for an Exy related reason and Andrew goes with him.
- They get there before the ass crack of dawn and have to wait an hour and a half, so by the time Neil gets called back they’re both tired and agitated
- The waiting room is entirely maternity ward patients and then there’s smol angsty Andrew, sitting in the corner and looking like an expectant mom’s rebellious teen
- one nice, very pregnant lady sits down next to him and Andrew is sort of worried that she might pop at any minute
- she mistakes his side-eyes and tense shoulders (no fucking way is he going to help deliver a child today, nu huh andrew you’re in a hospital there are doctors for that) as nerves so she starts talking to him
- she assumes that Andrew is there waiting for his pregnant wife and Andrew doesn’t correct her 
-She introduces herself as Linda, asks him questions about how they met and how long they’ve been together and is it their first child
- Andrew - reclusive, anti-social, anti-people Andrew - talks back to this woman and MAKES UP AN ENTIRE LIFE STORY

-  He and his wife Renee were high school sweet hearts. They were from different sides of the tracks and their parents didn’t support their relationship so they had to keep it a secret. There were sneaky meeting spots and codes for meeting times, and a few of their teachers knew about the romance and let the two of them spend time in empty classrooms so that their parents wouldn’t find out. Invariably, her father did find out one day, and beat Andrew so bad that he was in the hospital for two weeks - Renee visited him everyday and snuck in to sleep with him at night when the nurse’s were changing shifts.
- At this point Linda is clutching her chest and being really attentive and Andrew knows he’s got her hooked in
- He details all of the sneaky shenanigans that ensued, and some of the situations may or may not be scenes that he half-remembers from the terrible movies that Nicky makes him watch. They ran off together after graduation and got married at a park in some small town (a small and intimate ceremony, just them and a few friends. they stood under japanese cherry blossom trees and he cried when they said I do.). Now they live in a small one bedroom apartment together and it’s a struggle for them to get by, but when they found out that they were expecting it was the happiest day of their lives.
- If the foxes could see him right now they literally wouldn’t even recognize him, he’s smiling and gesturing with his hands and looking wistfully off into the distance
- Linda rubs her belly and looks at him affectionately, thinking how lucky this Renee must be 

- Twenty minutes later Neil is released into the waiting room, looking relieved to see Andrew and making a bee-line for him, not sparing Linda a glance
- He tries to tug his bright orange hoodie out of Andrew’s hands but Andrew doesn’t let go, just looks up at him and lets his face fall into an expression of surprise
- Neil, who hates hospitals and just wants to leave, tugs again at his hoodie and says “Babe, let’s go.”
- Andrew looks at Linda with wide eyes, hamming it up, then back at Neil and says “what are you doing here”
- Neil is hungry and tired and in no mood for this
- “Andrew, I want to go home so I can sleep in our bed one last time before I get relegated to shitty hotels beds and couches.”
- They’re about to start their olympic tour with the Court, which will have them traveling around the world for the next two months. Linda, of course, hears hotels and sees a male that is definitely not Renee calling Andrew babe and makes other assumptions and is so s/c/a/n/d/e/l/i/z/e/d
- Andrew takes a moment to look like he’s deliberating on whether or not he should go with Neil, then touches Linda’s hand (Neil is very ????) and says “when Renee comes out looking for me, will you tell her that i’m sorry?”
- He stands up and puts his hands tenderly on either side of Neil’s face, looks into his eyes and asks, quietly enough that Linda can’t hear “yes or no?”

- Neil just really really wants to go home, and hopes that if he goes along with it it’ll get them there faster, so he nods slightly and let’s Andrew plant the wettest and most dramatic kiss of his life on him
- Linda is staring at them, mouth gaping (Neil is slightly worried that this woman that was sitting next to Andrew might go into labor before they’re able to leave)
- the waiting room gets quiet as people watch this sudden and honestly a little graphic display
- Neil has no idea what the hell is going on (getting kissed means he’s not exactly mad about it but definitely just incredibly confused)
- Andrew finally pulls back and they’re both sort of breathing heavily and Neil is flushed and startled enough that he goes limp and lets Andrew lace their fingers together and pull him hastily away from the hundred pregnant ladies
- this is better than daytime television for them
- When they get into the hallway Andrew drops the act and goes back to his normal, straight faced and unenthusiastic self
- he tries to drop Neil’s hand but Neil doesn’t let him, and no matter how much he needles Andrew doesn’t explain what that was all about

- The next time everyone is together Andrew calls Renee “sweetheart”
- Neil’s face looks so dumb afterwards that Andrew laughs to himself for an hour and keeps calling Renee pet names for the rest of the day