i had to watch it so many times to find the moments i wanted to use

Dear Diary

TITLE: Dear Diary


CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1 of 4

AUTHOR: Eclectica-posts

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki comforting you when you’re crying. He knows exactly what to do or say to help you through it.

RATING: Maure, with a lot more mature in further chapters

NOTES/WARNINGS:

THOR RAGNAROK SPOILERS


Smut, fluff and bad jokes.

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My student submitted the most disturbing “Living History” project I’ve ever seen 

By reddit user gretelcat

One of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity (and for an easy way to bring up their GPA).

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How To Come Out in A Conservative Society

An History Lesson on Ellen DeGeneres and Theories about BTS

First, let me start off by saying that I know this is going to piss off some people. Your precious boys can’t have a bad rumor spread about them, can they? 

Well, fun fact: These rumors about idols have gone on for years, and they still have jobs. The rumors aren’t the problem, because when it comes to LGBT rumors, unlike straight rumors or controversies, Korea readily just accepts them as not possible and so someone can be rumored gay and nothing come from it, unless it was ever confirmed, so again, the rumor isn’t the problem. The lack of acceptance if said rumors are confirmed is the problem, because idols can only work if a company feels they will be able to make money. It is simple economics. If fans are not willing to accept and openly express acceptance, how can we expect a society to? How can we expect companies to feel that their artists have a market? Now I understand Korea has a thing about censorship despite fan reaction. This is a part of the problem, and it is a complicated political setting in which I do not understand and therefore cannot determine the ultimate solution. 

All I can say is this:

Guys, America was not always as accepting as it is now. America did used to be like Korea, and none of the laws for the LGBT were in place. What changed? The people. If you, as fans, are so set on protecting idols that you inherently promote the idea that being LGBT is an issue, even if you don’t mean it that way, you are being problematic to the cause. Discussing it openly allows idols and even companies to see the acceptance among fans, and fans educating other fans about it allows the societies to see the change in the people. You have the power but when you so adamantly push to censor the discussion, you give the power to those who wish to not acknowledge the LGBT. Talking is good, and could really help an LGBT idol feel better about themselves if they are LGBT.

NOW ONTO THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION!

So, BTS wants to visit Ellen. This is very interesting to me, as I have always felt a slight connection of their stories. I have a theory, but you have to actually hear me out to try and understand that this is something legitimate and not just some delusion of grandeur. 

First, how many of you actually know the history behind Ellen?

Well, I am going to assume that a lot of you are younger than me. BTS is younger than me lol. So, in the 90s, Ellen DeGeneres was an American television sweetheart. People loved her. American families watched her all the time. She was really popular. She had her show Ellen, which if you didn’t know, was not the talk show she has now. It was an actual sitcom where she played a character named Ellen. She boldly made the choice ON THE SHOW to have the character come out as a lesbian, and the next day on a talk show, she came out herself.

It was a bold move in the 90′s when LGBT rights were in the shitter. Still, if you look back, she actually was quite clever and strategic. She played the every woman and that’s why families loved her, but you will see hints of her sexuality. She used her medium and talent to subconsciously familiarize her audience with the idea of her being LGBT. It took a lot of work, and trust me, her coming out was not ENTIRELY smooth, but it went quite well. She was one of the few at the time to come out and have her career thrive after. 

She after that managed to have the highest viewed day time talk show that still runs today, a role in one of the most beloved children’s films, Finding Nemo. In fact, a open lesbian having a role like Dory in a children’s film at all was a huge deal. She managed to do all of this and land a deal with JC Penney and Covergirl, and her net worth is 350 million. She even for over a decade remained with her wife Portia, all while her career grew. Sure, along the way there were idiots who condemned her, but most of America loved Ellen.

All from a woman who wore short hair, gender non-conforming fashion, and openly lived as a lesbian in the 90′s. She may not be too shocking to you guys, but she did “look like a lesbian” in what people would have defined (don’t take this as my belief).

How? 

Just being someone everyone can connect to! She was happy and funny and wanted the world to laugh! She showed that LGBT people are just like everyone else. They wanted their rights, and that was all. This is a discussion for an entirely different subject, but I as an LGBT can tell you that while I think people should be accepted and able allowed to behave in the manner they see fit as long as it harms no one, there is value in LGBT who are not defined by the stereotypical “LGBT” behavior and are simply just day by day people who live just like you. Ellen did not over-exaggerate her sexuality’s stereotypical behavior. There is nothing wrong with being flamboyant, but sometimes sadly, the first step to acceptance is to be able to empathize and she was the one to be able to connect to easier, and with time, starting with people like her being accepted, times changed, and now we are seeing acceptances for all forms. It isn’t perfect, and it probably never will be, but it is there. She pushed boundaries, but she did so strategically and it worked for her.

NOW LOL WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH BTS?

Well, if you are familiar with their music, behavior, ethical principles, and the HYYH, then you might see where I am going with this.

Firstly, I would be here for hours if I mentioned all the various moments were they referenced something LGBT or did something related to. There is the Japanese Jungkook fanboy, Glam’s Party XXO, Namjoon’s words about the issue, Yoongi and his fuckery, Troye Sivan ultimate stanning, ‘I Know’ etc, but let me continue with my point.

I feel that BTS are familiarizing their fans with the idea of LGBT within idols. Idols have always had fanservice, and idols have always had ones who professed acceptance. There have even been idols that have hinted towards ideas of LGBT in their art (like Monsta X’s All In) but if ARMYS are correct about the HYYH, there may actually be the first LGBT narrative involving idols (KWill’s Please Don’t featured an LGBT plotline but I am talking about the idol themselves being involved). 

There have been hints that Yoongi and Jungkook within the narrative have a romantic plot. The HYYH Notes give this idea some light. Granted, we could be incorrect, but it does seem to be the case with the narrative text. We will have to see in the future where they take it.The Love Yourself highlights also hint at this. Then, Namjoon’s insistence on Love Yourself: Her being gender neutral. I think this is for a specific purpose as well.

Then there was the photoshoot with Jimin and Jungkook on the same rainbow unicorn float that was used at Korean Pride that same summer. I do not find this coincidental at all. There is a message, and I find that they are trying to send it in a palatable way for fans, which sadly shouldn’t have to happen, but it is the society we live in. There is the fact that they covered a song without changing pronouns, which would be ignored had it not been for the recent Namjoon comments and the fact that the BigHit survey featured more than the two genders. I think they recognize all of this. I think that this is all to familiarize fans with directly associating idol with LGBT. 

They are pushing boundaries, but doing so strategically.

Now, this next part might split some people, because it involves two members together, and I know people get pissy but hear me out. Please note that while you may think I am wrong, if you believe there are other LGBT members, the former discussion still applies.

I think the recent events involving Jungkook and Jimin are not fanservice. They are real events that are used by the two for fans. Let me explain: If they are together, they are spending time together, publicly interacting, and expressing themselves more. They are doing this because they love each other, but this is shown for fans for the purpose I believe of getting fans used to the idea, so that if they did eventually come out, it would not be such a shock. Much like Ellen did. I could be entirely wrong, but I think every moment is genuine and they are just showing it to people they care about to show their love. It can be a gift to fans, but that does not make it fanservice. 

As, I said, take the last two paragraphs away, and my point is still relevant, but I do believe they are utilizing this as a chance for members to come out who would not feel comfortable doing so before. I find at this point in time, the most likely is Jimin and Jungkook.

For sure, Jungkook. I always believed him to be some form of LGBT.

NOW, what does any of this mean? What does the future hold?

Well…

You got me.

If I am correct, and I believe I am, this means that BigHit and BTS will eventually tackle the idea of LGBT head on. I think an issue is with the Korea Unicef program, as it is 2 years long, and Yoongi decided not to get a tattoo to be able to do it, so what makes us think being LGBT wouldn’t be an issue, BUT who knows? They may utilize the fact that they are the current most successful Korean idol artist on a national and worldwide scale to see what can happen. Not changing the language they sing in reaches to their intent for change and being a voice for Korean youth, and utilizing the international fame allows them to bridge the youth they are reaching to with the liberalism of Western media.

The thing is in order to not kill their careers, they have to be big enough to survive it. That is why the first part of my essay is so important. Fans are the key. Our support and votes, and yes, our money, is the key to them being big enough that they are untouchable. That might not ever truly happen but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. If we can have an idol who is LGBT that is as big as them, that can invoke change…

JUST LIKE ELLEN. It takes time. Things didn’t change immediately after her, but damn if life didn’t get more and more progressive. I also credit so many others for that, but this is about them.

Please, take into consideration that I put a lot of thought into this before you brush me off, BUT ultimately this is my opinion. Good Day.

IT’S GETTING KINDA HOT IN HERE

*I wrote this with the sun and mars signs in mind*

Aries: It was a cool summer night. “You’re crazy.” I said as you pulled me towards an abandoned building. “Don’t be scared, I just wanna check it out.” We wandered through the decaying concrete, graffiti on every wall possible. I was so scared but I was trying hard not to lose my cool. After all you were absolutely loving this. There was a loud creak and I jumped, grabbing your arm. “Babe calm down, look at me.” You said soothingly, rubbing my shoulders. We made out there in the middle of the building; in the middle of the night. Your kisses enthralling, and for a moment I forgot about everything else. The creak came again but louder, “Okay, fuck this.” You laughed, grabbing my hand and we ran as fast as we could out of there and into the summer air.

Taurus: It was pitch black, our kisses growing more urgent as you fumbled around trying to undo my buttons. “I can’t see anything.” you chuckled. I sparked my lighter and you looked around for a candle, finding one and lighting it with my flame; never taking your eyes off me. You undid my pants quickly with a smirk on your face and threw them dramatically across the room. Your lips finding mine again, making up for the loss of contact. “You are so fucking hot” you whispered, running your hands down my body, a trace of goosebumps forming on my skin. You pushed in slowly, moaning as you felt my heat. You buried your face in my hair I lost all focus. I just held on for dear life as the candlelight flickered erratically on the ceiling.

Gemini: Your bedroom was covered with so many posters I couldn’t see what colour it was painted. You had not one, but two lava lamps, one purple and one orange. We were laying on your floor, listening to Frank Ocean on vinyl, “Sometimes I think about faking my own death, and leaving the parts I don’t like about myself behind.” you said somberly, drawing lazy circles on my stomach with your finger. “Where would you go?” I asked. You propped your head up, your adorable face flushed purple in the light from the lamp. “Anywhere but here,” you said pulling me even closer, “only as long as I could take you with me though.” I ran my finger across your bottom lip and you bit it, we giggled quietly, then sighed. You kissed me so deeply, like an ocean tide that ebbs and flows. We made love, slow love right there on your bedroom floor. Every now and then, when things are quiet, parts of that night come back in flashes when I close my eyes.

Cancer: Snow had been coming down like crazy all day and everybody was staying inside. We had made the heroic journey to the store to get the bare necessities. Popcorn, paprika Pringles and those fruity toffees. Now we were cuddled in an abundance of duvets and pillows watching Spirited Away. “Are you cold?” you asked softly. “No I’m actually really warm.” I said adjusting the pillows behind me. Your eyes shot around the room, you bit your lip as your gaze landed on me. “What?” I asked when I noticed you staring. You grinned, “I’m kinda cold.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I lifted my blanket and pulled you into my cocoon. Your hand slipped under my shirt as you got comfortable. “Oh my god, your hand is freezing.” I shrieked. “Warm me up then.” you teased as you kissed me gently.

Leo: “You are such a goddamn hypocrite, why are you being so possessive?” I yelled at you. “Because I fucking love you!” you screamed even louder. My eyes shot wide as the words left your mouth. I felt like I was about to faint. Like everything I’d known for the past two months had been wrong. I put my hand on my forehead and slowly sat down on the sofa. “Since when?” I asked warily. You sat down next to me, leaving a little space between us, not wanting to scare me away. “Since the day I met you.” you said more gently. I shook my head in confusion. All these months I’d been crushing on you, telling myself I was a fool for thinking you could ever feel the same. “Look, I should go.” you said standing up, I grabbed your arm quickly and pulled you to me. I kissed you with my eyes open, I didn’t believe it but my eyes couldn’t lie. You picked me up and put me in your lap. “We can’t do this.” I whispered into your neck. You grabbed me even tighter, not ready to let me go. “Tell me to stop,” you breathed kissing down my collarbone, your finger toying with the band of my panties, “just tell me to stop.” Your eyes searched mine for an answer. Your finger inching further, grazing down the lace in front. I moaned into your mouth, giving you the answer you needed. The one we both needed.

Virgo: My phone buzzed next to my laptop. It was almost midnight and my chemistry notes were making less sense than ever. “Hi baby.” I half sighed as I answered. “Where are you?” you asked. “On my bed, what’s up?” I could hear your breathing through the phone, “Nothing, just thinkin’ about you. ‘Bout us.” you said cheekily. I closed my eyes as that familiar lightness hit my stomach. “Oh really, what are we doing?” I teased. You half groaned on the other line, “Thinking about your skin, running my tongue up your spine, and swirling it around your-” Now I was the one who moaned. “Can you come pick me up?” I panted. You laughed, “Thought you’d never ask.”

Libra: It was my first birthday in the new city and I was feeling more homesick than ever. You knocked on my door and told me to get dressed while you poured two shots of tequila. You took me on an adventure, stumbling through a regal museum slightly tipsy. I was laughing at this modern piece, you asked why I didn’t get it, I said the shape was a bit funky. From behind you wrapped your arms around my waist, pressing yourself up against me, “I think it’s a quite stimulating.” you whispered with a sly grin, and my entire body shivered. Then you took me to dinner, your eyes staring into mine the whole time and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. It was like moving between worlds, reality changing from hour to hour. I don’t even remember what we talked about, only what I was feeling. We couldn’t even last until desert, our minds running away from us. As soon as I opened the door to my place your lips crashed onto mine, and for the first time that night I felt like I could breathe.

Scorpio: “Do you wanna wrestle?” I asked you with a wicked grin on my face. “I’m not gonna wrestle you.” You said not taking your eyes of the TV. I jumped on you and the Xbox controller went flying. “You asked for it.” You growled as you started fighting me back. I knew I had no chance, I just wanted to get you all fired up. Before I knew it I was on my back, hands pinned down above my head and your strong thighs straddling my torso. “Who’s the winner?” you demanded. “You’re the winner daddy.” I purred, reaching up and biting your lip. Your expression shifted, your eyes going from that watery blue to devilish dark in a split second, and I knew I was in for a ride.

Sagittarius: It was 3 a.m. I knew I had school in the morning but at this point I didn’t care. Cruising around the city in your parents BMW, the bass in the sound system making our blood vibrate. Like it hadn’t been already. We didn’t say anything, we couldn’t. We couldn’t afford to lose control. Then L$D by A$AP Rocky came on. My hands were shaking in my lap, your knuckles white from squeezing the steering wheel so hard. The engine purred as you drove faster, now with a purpose, pulling into the beach parking lot. The car came to an abrupt stop and I couldn’t take this any longer. You moved your seat back as I jumped over the console. You kissed me like you were drowning and I was air. All that tension finally snapping like firecrackers as the music pumped through our bodies. Your strong arms lifted me up and pushed my dress up my thighs, the windows fogging up. I could feel your biceps trembling under the palm of my hand, and thought how could something that felt so right be so wrong?

Capricorn: The whole day had had a weird, electrifying feel to it. Now I knew why. We were standing out there on the balcony, face to face in the middle of the crowd. “Kiss me.” you said nonchalantly. “You kiss me.” I incited. You took a long drag of the joint, gently pressing your lips to mine as you blew the smoke into my mouth. I just stared back at you, blowing the smoke out again calmly, your fingers still caressing the back of my neck. You almost smiled but stopped it midway by biting your lip. I grabbed your shirt and pulled you to me. I kissed you like it was the last time. You pulled back slightly to catch your breath, “Wanna get out of here?”

Aquarius: The night I first met you. I didn’t wanna go out but my friends convinced me. The bar was so packed but somehow I got to the front of the stage. There you were, and that cherry red guitar, in your own world. I remember I couldn’t take my eyes of your fingers when you played. I didn’t even notice you were looking at me until the song was over. You laughed and playfully tugged on your shirt. I didn’t get why but then I noticed we were both wearing the same Led Zeppelin shirt. When the show was over you found me so quickly I knew you had been watching me. “I feel like this was meant to be.” you said leaning up against the bar. I took you in, your knuckles had little cuts on them and your black jeans were splattered with green paint. “I’m not really in the mood to make friends tonight.” I said, taking a sip of my beer. You ran your hand teasingly through that dirty blonde DiCaprio hair, “How ‘bout we just stay strangers then?” I knew I’d already lost this fight. The next thing I remember is literally falling into your foyer, your lips on my neck as I moaned in your ear. You held me so tight, pulling my shirt up ever so slightly just to put your skin on mine. I pushed you down, taking my shirt all they way off while I straddled your hips, and you looked at me like I had just discovered fire. When it was all over you grabbed my face with both your hands, “What’s your name?” you breathed. I smirked as I put my clothes back on, “I thought we were gonna stay strangers.” I was halfway home when I realized that the shirt I was wearing wasn’t mine, it was yours.

Pisces: The record had finished all the way through. That needle scratch sound from the record player filled the silence in the room. I was in your arms, tangled in bedsheets and your sticky bodyparts. You grazing my back lightly with your fingers. “I need to pee.” I said trying untangle myself limb by limb. Your arms tightened around me, “No, you can’t go.” you pouted. I giggled and wiggled around in your embrace. “I have to pee, I’ll be quick.” You pressed your forehead against mine. “Promise?” you said softly. I pecked your lips three times. “I promise.”

It Wasn’t Real (prologue)

Originally posted by villainquoteoftheday

Summary: You’re part of the infamous Loser’s Club, and often asked, what are you afraid of? You reply, nothing, but what your friends don’t know is that your biggest fear is them.

Requested: Nah. Just had this idea, and really wanted to write it.

Pairing: Loser’s Club x Reader

Warnings: this is based off pure memory. swearing, pennywise, fear, trauma, etc.

THIS IS A SERIES!! Check it out: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - finale


You hadn’t hesitated, not once. Not for your friends, not now, not ever. You’d done it for them. Done it to help Bill, to help Richie and Eddie, and Beverly, Ben, Mike, Stan. All of them.

But it seemed, now in this moment, they didn’t care.

“Open the door!” You screamed, “please! Please!” Your hands banged ruthlessly against the wooden door, trying everything to get it open. But no matter how hard you tried, it just wouldn’t budge. “Guys, please. Open the door!” You weren’t sure if it was them or someone else, but the door had shut on it’s own and now you couldn’t get it open again.

“Why would we open it?” A gasp escaped your lips, spinning around too fast for your own pace as Richie’s voice echoed around you. Smacking your back against the bedroom door behind you, you tried to look for someone through the thick darkness. “Why would want to ever open it?”

“R-Richie?” You called out, a tinge of hesitancy in your voice. “Are you there?” You asked, your fingernails scratching against the wood. You barely noticed the pain you caused yourself in the midst of your panic. Barely noticed the eery sound you made as the wood was scratched. 

“You’re nothing.” A different voice. Bill.

“You’ve never been anything.” Beverly.

“And now, you’ll never be something.” Eddie. 

“I-I… i don’t understand.” You whimpered, finding yourself at a lost of words. You couldn’t see anything, it was only dark and black and nothing. There was no light, there wasn’t anything to see. How could they be speaking to you? When a moment ago they’d been outside the door you were now separated by. “It isn’t real. It isn’t real. It’s not real!” You repeated, over and over.

“Not real?” Ben.

“Why wouldn’t this be real?” Mike.

“When we finally have the chance to get rid of you?” Stan.

“No.” You whispered, shaking your head. None of this made any sense! “No! No!” 

“No?” Then suddenly, the lights flipped on and you could see everything. Your friends stood before you in a line, all disfigured and bloodied. You cringed at the sight, pressing yourself as tight as you could against the wall though it did nothing. Closing your eyes, you tried to stop your frantic breathing but it was useless, as your sobs slipped past. “Why no?” Bill asked, tilting his head in an unnatural way.

“Afraid?” Eddie smiled. “You’re never afraid.”

“Don’t tell me…” Beverly started, her hand against her chest; “you’re afraid of us?”

“But isn’t this not real?” Ben reminded, and you watched with wide eyes.

“Or… is it?” Mike asked, and you felt your knees quake beneath you.

“Oh, it’s real.” Stan declared. You let out a whimper, hitting the back of your head against the door. “Your fear, I can smell it. It’s always been real.” Stan’s voice grew out of tone, as if it wasn’t him.

“Aren’t you afraid, Y/N?” Richie asked, stepping through the rest and making his presence known as he stood in the middle. Though, the second you blinked your eyes, it was no longer Richie and no longer did your friends stand there. Instead, stood IT.

Letting out a scream, you spun around, your hands coming up to bang on the door and jiggle the knob. “Let me out! Open the door!”

“Get the fucking door open!” Richie screamed, and it took you half a second to realize that it was him, behind the door. Had he been there the entire time? “I’m trying!” Stan yelled, and you felt the doorknob move beneath your grip. Had they been there the entire time?

“Time to play, Y/N.” You felt your heart spike at IT’s voice, and when you turned your head he was running at you. His speed was alarming but you only turned back to the door, yanking desperately.

“Hang o-on Y/N!” 

“Please!” You screamed, “please!”

You felt your body fall forward and wind rush through your hair, just as IT’s hands grazed your back. Though before your body could fall against the harsh ground you felt hands grab you. In your panic-stricken mind, you let out a blood-curling scream and you fought the grip, believing it to be IT. “Don’t touch me!”

“Y/N! Y/N!” A voice called and there were hands on your face, but you couldn’t focus. Your mind was running wild. “It’s Stan, Y/N! It’s okay, it’s okay!” Blinking, you felt your vision focus on what was before you; Stan. And then you saw Bill, and Eddie and Richie and…

“You left me!” Was the first thing that left your lips, in a shrill high-pitched tone. “You left me! You wouldn’t open the door!”

“No, no, Y/N. W-We tried to get the door open, it wouldn’t- wouldn’t-” Richie tried to explain, his own words running over one another. “We wouldn’t leave you.” He finished at last. But your mind was too wild, too gone for you to listen and instead you only continued to sob.

“Where’s the rest?” Eddie asked aloud, looking past your bedroom hallway. “Get in here!”

“W-We would never… Y-Y/N we tried. T-That has to count for something.” Bill explained in a haste, holding onto you as he’d been the one to catch you as you fell. You heard footsteps, many footsteps and you flinched until you saw it was only the rest of your friends. Beverly, Ben, Mike…

“You wouldn’t open the door…” You breathed, your voice suddenly a lot quieter. “You said I was nothing.”

“We tried.” Stan shook his head, gripping your face with force so you could focus on what was in front of you.

“I-It wasn’t real…” Bill panted.

Beverly fell before you and she smiled much like before, but this time it was kind. “You’d never be nothing to us.” She soothed, her hand coming out to grab yours.

“Y-Yeah, you’re too hot to forget.” Richie laughed, and you let out a small chuckle yourself. Evening out your breathing, your eyes found your bedroom and the scratches against the door, the scratches you made. That wasn’t fake… but the rest had been.

Falling into Stan, you pulled Mike into you and the rest followed.

It wasn’t real.

Or was it?


i’m not sure what this is, it’s bit more… much that my usual stories. But i thought this’d be interesting to write, please let me know what you thought! It could even be a series, I don’t know, lol. Just let me know!

waking up the wolf inside

[here’s the full story, thanks for reading!]

-

Derek Hale is two hours late. At each passing minute, Stiles feels angrier and the only reason he hasn’t left is because Derek needs to come home at some point and when he does, Stiles is going to yell at him so hard he’s going to give him this interview just to send Stiles away.

Stiles can be pretty annoying when he wants to, that’s how he gets most of his job done.

Derek Hale though, he’s been fucking infuriating. For starters he lives in the middle of nowhere, Stiles got lost twice before he found someone who actually knew where Derek’s freaking cabin is. And there’s also the fact that he’s a nobody - Stiles’ only picture of him is from his High School graduation, like, fifteen years ago.

And that’s the most fascinating thing – not many people know about him but the ones who do can’t stop praising his work. The guy is an angel, but instead of protecting people he protects wolves. According to Scott’s boss – who’s like, the one person who has seen Derek in person and can attest he’s real – Derek has a vet degree, doesn’t like people and built his own cabin in the woods. To live amongst the wolves.

Stiles needs to interview this guy. At first because he got curious about a thirty-one year old guy living alone and now it’s about pride. He doesn’t just spend two hours outside someone’s house, especially when it’s snowing.

“Come on.” He groans. It’s freaking Alaska. Angel or not – Derek Hale is also a huge dick.

Stiles is beginning to think about breaking into the guy’s house (he can’t feel his toes) when he hears a car and a minute later a battered truck is parking next to Stiles’ rental car.

The man who steps out looks nothing like the High School picture Stiles found. For starters he look like a mountain man with a beard that does nothing but make him look hotter, the jeans doesn’t leave much to imagination either when it comes to his ass and the huge winter coat only accentuates his broad shoulders.

Stiles swallows. “Hey!” He yells, watching as Derek opens the back door. “Derek Hale?” He can’t hide his groan when Derek barely spares him a glance. “Hey, it’s freaking freezing here, you know?”

Derek lets out a groan of his own as he lifts something in his arms and steps away from the car. “I know.” He walks towards the house and as he gets closer, Stiles notices Derek is carrying a wolf. “Now, help me out here, yeah?”

Stiles doesn’t even think twice before dropping his bag and stepping closer. “What can I do?”

“Grab the key,” Derek instructs, “it’s in my back pocket.”

Later, Stiles will want to hide his face in embarrassment but now he can only think about the poor wolf whining in Derek’s arms as he touches Derek’s ass to find the key to open Derek’s house.

Once inside, Derek deposits the wolf on the floor, wrapping him further with blankets and asks Stiles to light up the fire as he goes around the house collecting things. “Is he going to be okay?” Stiles asks as Derek kneels in front of the wolf and runs a soothing hand over his head.

“Hopefully.” Derek answers. “And it’s a girl.” He tells Stiles. “She’s in labor.”

What.” Stiles squeaks. “Really? But –”

“In the kitchen,” Derek interrupts him, “get some hot water, and close the fucking door.”

Stiles blinks, watches as Derek tells her everything is going to be okay. She’s obviously uncomfortable, but stops squirming when Derek smiles and runs his hands over her belly.

Water.” Derek growls.

“Right.” Stiles gets on his feet. He so didn’t sign up for this.


“So,” he collapses on the floor, “does this happen a lot?”

Derek collapses next to him, eyes on the mother wolf and her six pups. “Is this part of your interview?”

Stiles snorts and rolls his eyes. “No, this is just me trying not to freak out.” He turns to look at Derek – his eyes are green, he realizes, and beautiful, he adds mentally.

“No, this doesn’t happen often.” Derek answers, finally. “Thankfully.”

Stiles nods and smiles when Derek turn to him. “You’re amazing.” He blurts out and Derek blinks, surprised. “Anyway,” Stiles shakes his head, tries to pretend the butterflies in his stomach are just from the adrenaline rush, “we’ll have to postpone the interview, but I think that’s justifiable.” He gets up, looks at his hands and realizes they are covered in blood. Ew. “Uh, can I use your bathroom before I go?”

“Go?” Derek asks, standing up too.

“I’m gonna get a hotel in town.” The nearest town is two hours away, but what can you do? He glances at the sleeping wolves. It’s not like this was Derek’s fault. “I think.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Derek says, bluntly. Stiles snorts – yeah, Derek really doesn’t have a way with people. “I have a spare bedroom.”

Stiles smiles. “Thank you.” He says. “I don’t really like driving in the snow.”

“Who does.” Derek says, asks maybe. Stiles still doesn’t know him, but as he follows Derek up the stairs, he realizes he really wants to.

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Man Up

by reddit user Pippinacious

When the bookstore at the mall put up its help wanted posters, I jumped at the chance to put in my application. Between being an avid reader who had practically lived amongst the store’s shelves in high school and a broke community college student taking a semester off to save money, it seemed still customer service.

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LIBRA: Occasionally you have to fake it until you make it. I know that this is a cliche you’ve heard many times before, but have you ever actually tried it? Cliches don’t become ‘cliche’ unless a lot of people believe in what they’re implying. Feel free to test this, even if it’s just for a day or two. Pretend that you’re in the right career, pretend that you haven’t been sad at all for the last few weeks, pretend that you’re powerful and comfortable and know exactly who you are. Sometimes a little confidence, even if it begins as a front, is the final piece to the puzzle.

SCORPIO: You’ve had chains wrapped around your ankles for so long now that you hardly ever notice their weight anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful that you’ve found a way to cope with the things that try to drag you down. But it seems like you’ve become so complacent in this state of being that you’ve given up on escape. Like you’re an audience member to your own existence. But you aren’t, even though life comes at you so viciously sometimes. You are in charge of your body, and in charge of what you do with it. Now use it.

SAGITTARIUS: There’s always something about the early days of autumn that make you feel as though anything is possible, and this year you should take advantage of that. Now is not the time to play it safe or rein in your grand ideas: now is the time to give them life. You’ve become an expert at putting things on hold for circumstances that are outside of your control and putting an end to that is overdue. The world isn’t always going to give you a green light to move on, sometimes you have to build it yourself. Sometimes you just have to go for it.

CAPRICORN: The world is already cruel enough without adding your own self-doubt into the mix. I think it’s time that you start being kinder to yourself. You’ve been through so much, after all; nobody is expecting you to be perfect or be immune to making mistakes. Take some time to reward yourself for the positive things you’ve accomplished. Buy that coffee, watch that movie, put your feet up and relax. You are so good at making the people around you feel content, apply that talent to your own life.

AQUARIUS: There’s been so much in front of you lately, both positive and negative, that you’ve been letting everything behind you fade into the background. And while moving forward is necessary in order to survive, the things you’ve already experienced are learned lessons that you shouldn’t forget so easily. Do you remember the last thing you cried over? Do you remember why it made you so sad? Now, put that feeling in a bubble and don’t let yourself make the same choices that led you to that feeling. Your past matters, but it will never own you. There’s a difference.

PISCES: Life can be pretty overwhelming sometimes, can’t it? You aren’t overreacting if lately you’ve felt as though the planet has been taking a toll on you. Just remember, it’s good that you’re busy and that you’re involved with what’s going on around you. There was a time when a past version of yourself wouldn’t have dared to lay their heart out as boldly as you do now, and your progress is cause for celebration. Take everything one day at a time, if it’s getting to be too much. Breathe. Take breaks when needed. Persevere.

ARIES: Everything in your life feels like a big quilt of sorts, every event and person and memory connected to another by a few threads and some time. Lately you’ve found yourself wondering about what the significance of all of that is. But maybe the meaning isn’t within the connections themselves, but in the person that’s tied them all together. You have created a vast network of friends and feelings and you’ve brought positivity and good vibes to every link in this chain of relationships. These interconnected moments all call your heart home. Embrace their warmth.

TAURUS: So, you’re still attached to a lot of things that you thought you’d be disconnected from by now. There are still regrets and past lovers and half finished letters stuffed underneath your mattress and you’ve accepted that this is how it is. You’ve grown resigned to the fact that some things are impossible to move on from. But I’m here to tell you that nothing can keep you in its grasp unless part of you is letting it. If you own a pair of scissors, why aren’t you using them to cut the strings that are tied around you? What possible reason is there to keep suffering?

GEMINI: It’s easy to look in a mirror and point out the parts of yourself that make building relationships difficult. You find yourself constantly having to relearn how to touch people without hurting them or yourself in the process. It isn’t your fault that you’ve tried to give affection to people that are unworthy of it, it’s their fault for fooling you into thinking they deserved what you were providing. Just because this hasn’t been working out for you lately, doesn’t mean that it won’t ever. You are lovable even when nobody is loving you.

CANCER: Enjoying your accomplishments without thinking about the people that should be there celebrating with you is something that you still struggle with from time to time. It’s okay to be sad that there are certain moments you’ll never be able to share with those that would’ve understood your happiness; it isn’t fair that you’ve had to mourn so many missed opportunities. But don’t let what’s absent diminish your successes or make you feel as though you aren’t allowed to be proud of yourself. You’re thriving despite all of that negative space and it’s beautiful.

LEO: Nothing comes as a surprise to you anymore, but despite that you still find yourself stuck with unrealistic expectations at the end of the day. Either you know that you deserve better and you don’t want to admit it, or you’ve become so comfortable with being disappointed that you’re scared of being anything but. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. Maybe you know what you want and you know that you shouldn’t want it so you’re self-sabotaging any chance you’re given at obtaining happiness. I think that something inside of you knows the answers to these maybe’s. Let it out.

VIRGO: Self-preservation is an art form you’ve become incredibly dedicated to depicting. If your heart were a gallery, there’d be sculptures of brick walls lurking around every corner and self portraits donned with armor cluttering up the walls. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first, in fact I would encourage you to always do so. But be careful; there’s a fine line between prioritizing yourself over others and knowingly hurting others in the quest to better yourself. You have to find a balance between the two.

OCTOBER HOROSCOPES by Caitlin Conlon

CASTIEL AND HIS SACRED OATH - 12x10, 12x12, 12x23

This scene here. This split second glance is so so important. I don’t know why people aren’t talking about it (I couldn’t even find any gifs of it and had to take pictures coz I’m computerly incompitent). But I wanted to give my own analytical response to this millisecond glance, because I think it demonstrates properly why Cas has never done anything about his feelings for Dean. 

First, some context from my behalf: I always assumed Cas had never admitted his love for Dean for one of two reasons, 1) he was an angel, therefore not quite understanding his feelings himself - perhaps confusing them with familial love, Dean style. Or 2) he was afraid his love may not be reciprocated. But after watching 12x10, 12x12 and 12x23, I can thoroughly rule out reason 1. 

Now, I’ll be talking a lot about 12x10 as that ENTIRE EPISODE and THIS LOOK are so closely correlated. 

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Bojack Horseman and Rick and Morty: The Hardest Nihilistic Show to watch and the easiest Nihilistic Show to watch

Bojack Horseman is such a weird show for me.

It’s like I need to set a time weeks, or years in advance to sit down and watch it. I’ve only watched the show once but it is so philosophical and life changing and depressing and deep, it’s like I have to set out emotional time out of my day to pick a moment to watch it.

I’ve only watched it once and once was enough to change my entire outlook on life and look at my life from a new angle. 

Where as Rick and Morty is a Nihilistic show too, there are way more laugh out loud moments and tends to make fun of Nihilism. The characters can be deep, while being shallow at the same time. They can be very aware they are in a show. Saying things like: “Was he doing a bit?” things I don’t hear in modern english unless I’m hanging with the theater kids.

A thing that Rick and Morty achieves perfectly with it’s humor is the art of Schadenfreude. Or “Taking pleasure/enjoyment/humor from the suffering of others.” Every single deep moment in Rick and Morty is usually accompanied with a sad or intense song, that you can take in as Horribly deep and depressing, while being hilarious at the exact same time. 

I will take an example from Season One. 

Kind of a spoiler, but this happens very early in season one. It’s like the halfway point of season one, just to establish this show doesn’t fuck around.

The jist of it, is that Rick and Morty ruined the world so badly, that they went to a different universe. A different reality where they died around this time. Accompanied by sad music is Morty coming to grips that everything around him isn’t real and it’s an entirely new reality. Leaving behind a damaged and broken world. And he has to bury his own corpse. So every event in the previous episodes are reconnected or might of not happened in this reality. 

What makes this a very emotional intense scene and an extremely funny one is how juxtaposed Morty is to this compared to everyone else around him. Morty is having an existential crisis about everyone he left behind, meanwhile Reality doesn’t care. Rick grabs a drink, Summer Texts on her phone, his mom and dad argue on the cusp of divorce. Nothing changed. Life goes on. 

I remember the first time I saw this scene when it aired on TV, it blew my mind, while also making me laugh at the same time.

That’s because the show makes it clear Reality doesn’t care about Morty’s extensional crisis. You can take pleasure in his suffering while making it tragic and realistic but funny at the same time. 

And a majority of every emotional scene in Rick and Morty is like this.

There is a moment in season 2 where one character attempts suicide, and while it’s framed in a serious manner, it is also hilarious. It’s not that the show makes fun of suicidal people. (like a tasteless joke in some other adult shows) The inner turmoil is shown and portrayed very seriously. What makes the scene funny, is while the character lies still and alone all night after his failed suicide attempt, the Pathetic Father character Jerry, comes into the foreground, with his weed wacker. A trivial thing he was complaining about the whole episode. Without noticing the character’s pain. “Life goes on. Nobody cares.” Which is seriously sad and funny at the same time.

As I said  Schadenfreude. “Nobody cares. Might as well laugh about it” 

Bojack Horseman has it’s share of funny moments too, it’s writing style in similar format to the Simpsons and typical satire. 

But the comedic moments are usually far away from it’s serious moments.

They have their moments of  Schadenfreude as well. Such as small #relatable moments that make me laughing my ass off due to the delivery. Cause I’m sure many can relate to procrastinating and being lazy as hell on a project or having friends kick your pathetic ass to actually do something.

But when the show wants to get deep, the humor stays far away from the realism. 

There are also suicide attempts in this show as well. And while Rick and Morty can take a look in the mirror and laugh at itself. Like “Nobody cares, might as well laugh about it” This show seems to say: “Life is horrible, we are horrible people, if we don’t take power within ourselves to change. nobody cares. Deal with it.”

Which it a heartbreaking but raw realistic message.

Which is why I only watched the show once and am postpoing watching the newest season as long as I can.

The show is raw, it doesn’t hold back and every deep emotional moment has no comic relief moment to recover.

It lets you breathe in the heavy atmosphere and deal with every screw up the main character commits. 

It’s like if an adult cartoon character had real world negative consequences for his horrible behavior. Friends abandon him, forgiveness is optional, and people die because of a direct result of the main character.

A lot of the problems with myself and with my generation as a whole is that we tend to dissolve blame for things that we are directly at fault for. I know we tend to point fingers at the Baby Boomer generation or society a lot, but pointing fingers doesn’t really help things get better. If you just want to whine and not inspire change. You have to look deep inside yourself and find the will to change.

Something that both shows preach.

“The thing about repairing, maintaining and cleaning is, it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just…. work. And the truth of the matter is that, some of us are okay with going to work, and well, some of us rather die. Each of us gets to choose.” 

I love Bojack Horseman and I love Rick and Morty. But one is way more easier to watch then the other. I know a lot of people on tumblr are comparing both shows, but to me, they are equal in greatness, just take a very different approach to the same subject mater. 

I will get to watching Season 4 of Bojack Horseman some day. But not where I’m at right now. 

I am glad I read a few therapy books before watching bojack horseman and rick and morty so I wasn’t too mindblown by the messages portrayed.

Wrapped

Summary: In which being wrapped in your arms is the only place Bucky ever wants to be.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,363

A/N: Title of the fic and the fic itself are inspired by “Wrapped” by Gloria Estefan

Originally posted by rogers

Bucky thought he had seen all of the evil the world had to offer after the time he spent in captivity. Nothing, he thought, could compare to Hydra.

He was wrong.

Evil was everywhere. It was broadcast on the news throughout the course of the day. It was described online in horrific detail. It was talked about at water coolers, interspersed between tidbits of celebrity news and gossip. It was also hidden behind the scenes, in the hands of those who took advantage of their positions of power.

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A Moment (Richie/Eddie)

Summary: In which Richie and Eddie are both flustered by a moment that was rudely interrupted.

Prompt 86: “Have you seen- oh

Prompt 42: “I’d like to talk to you when you have your pants on, okay?”

A/N: Thankyou to who requested this!! This is so hard not to make sexual as the request specifically asked for them to be in the middle of a ‘moment’ like a make out and they’re walked in on. Please don’t think I’m trying to sexualise the kiddos in any way shape or form because that is not my intention. ALSO, they’re 15 in this fic!! I’m this age and people at my age are doing MUCH worse than making out so please keep your argument about me sexualising them to yourselves bC TEENAGERS MAKE OUT, TEENAGERS DO A LOT OF BA D THINGS

“Eds, hey- Eds.”

Eddie grumbled, pulling the sheets over his head to block out the voice of Richie Tozier.

“Eds, c’mon. Get up.”

“Fuck off Richie. Don’t call me that.” Eddie hissed, staying under the sheets and attempting to fall back into a peaceful slumber.

Richie frowned, his head tilted with his glasses falling down his nose. He lifted a single finger up and pushed them up, leaving yet again another fingerprint against his dirtied lenses. His imprint smudges the sight in once light, but Richie barely notices.

“No one is fucking here, I think Bill and Stan left.” Richie pestered on, grabbing Eddie’s shoulder and shaking it heavily.

Eddie frowned, eyes slowly sliding open and a groan of frustration leaves Eddie’s lips and he sits up, glaring daggers at Richie with fresh tears of waking up abruptly on his waterline.

“Richie, you fucking asshole. That is what you wake me up for?”

“Well, I woke up alone and I didn’t want to be alone. Why is that a problem?”

“I barely sleep as it is, Richie! You just fucking broke me from an actual good sleep!” Eddie cried, anger pulsing through his veins before he quickly calms down, grabbing his hair strands as he places his head in his hands.

Richie couldn’t help but feel guilt for his own selfish actions, sighing quietly and awkwardly patting at his bare thigh as he only wore underwear and a random band tee, as always, to sleep.

“Eds, I’m sorry.” Richie sat down, climbing onto the mattress next to Eddie.

Eddie was silent for a moment before speaking up, “It’s fine. I didn’t mean to totally freak out.” Eddie too let the nickname slide, as he played with the edged trim of the blanket that covered his own bare legs. 

Silence pierced the thin air of Bill’s room, as the two sat in silence next to each other with their elbows grazing one another. Richie sucked in his bottom lip, and shuddered as he wasn’t covered by Eddie’s bedding and was exposed to the late September air.

“Why don’t you sleep good, Eds?” Richie questioned, with his head tilted and looking towards Eddie.

Eddie nibbled at the skin that peeled from his lower lip, rubbing his hands together and he shrugged.

“I..I guess it’s just nightmares? They’re weird. Like, fuck.” Lies. Total fucking lies.

“What are they like?” Richie watched the way his hands moved and jittered, which was a sign he was lying as well as the lip biting.

“Well,” Eddie started, before trying to find his words as if thinking through everything he was about to say and how he would say it, “Um, just stuff like me getting sick. Shit like that.”

Richie thought about how long he had to think about his supposed ‘nightmares’ and his response to his question. Richie nodded, not pressuring the boy any further.

Eddie gulped as he thought of the real reason, one of his slight fears that often triggered his anxiety late at night. His sexuality. See, Eddie was still curious and testing the waters with himself; not knowing if he was into girls or into guys or both. That wasn’t the problem though, his problem was his Mother. His mother would possibly think that Eddie would be screwed up mentally and have many mental illnesses if he told his Mother that he liked guys in any way shape or form. He’d never get a break and he’d never be allowed to have sleepovers like this or even be allowed to talk another male ever again.

Eddie cringed as the thoughts came back to him, quickly trying to shake them away by focusing upon Richie. 

“So, how was your night? Sleeping, I mean.”

“Oh, I sleep like a fucking rock.” Richie chuckles, his shoulders moving as he chuckles. 

“How is sleeping like a rock a good thing?” Eddie tilts his head, looking to Richie, “Rocks are hard, it must be hard to sleep.”

Richie smirks, “Maybe that’s because I am hard most of the time.”

Eddie is confused for a moment before realisation hits him forcefully and he groans with a blush spreading over his cheeks, “Fuck off, Richie. You know what I meant.”

“Especially morning wood, oh boy, let me tell you-”

Eddie clamps a hand over Richie’s mouth before he gets more flustered than he already is. Eddie’s eyes are wide, staring into Richie’s without blinking. Richie can’t help but notice how the two boys were as close as ever, with Eddie obviously blushing like a tomato. Richie felt his smirk grow even more under Eddie’s palm and he wiggled his eyebrows at the crimson boy.

Eddie felt the movements under his palm, staring into Richie’s large eyes due to his spectacles, before sighing in annoyance.

“Seriously, Richie? Your lenses are jacked up.” Eddie removes his hand before taking Richie’s glasses off slowly and carefully.

Richie was too slow to protest, feeling his own face heat up as his whole face was no longer hidden by his coke bottle glasses which covered a lot of his insecurities up.  Richie felt exposed in a weird way, not being able to see Eddie properly but Eddie being able to see every pore and flaw that laid upon Richie’s face. 

Eddie breathed hot air onto both lenses, using his own shirt to wipe away each of the finger prints and splashes from substances that had stained the lenses.

Richie watched with blind eyes, barely being able to tell what he was doing for him. His eyes were squinted and his head tilted forward and staring directly at the hazed actions.

Finally, Eddie was done and he lifted them up delicately, placing them back on Richie’s face with a small and soft grin. 

“Be more clean, asshole. Isn’t that much better?” Eddie folded his arms over smugly.

Richie blinked and pushed them up higher on his nose, this time with the small space between the lenses and not smudging them like he usually does. He could see much clear, being able to see the soft sun rays peak through the curtains and shining on Eddie’s baby face. He admired everything in that moment, how one eye of his was squinting due to the orange-y hue that blinded one of his eyes from seeing Richie properly and the other remaining soft and bambi like. How Eddie’s right corner of his lips was arched higher than the other and how his usually neatened chocolate strands were in fact out of place and going in every direction.

Richie couldn’t help himself, he really couldn’t. The moment before him couldn’t be more flawless.

Really? You’re gonna do this now? Now-

Richie’s thoughts were cut off by his actions as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Eddie’s.

Eddie’s smug look was wiped away in a split second, his eyes widening as he stared at Richie’s closed pair of eyes with shock and in awe. Eddie had both of his hands raised at the side of Richie’s face in shock which soon, he melted. He melted perfectly against Richie and his hands fell onto his cheeks, feeling Richie’s heated skin beneath his clammy palms. 

Richie felt his hands snake around Eddie’s waist, pulling him onto his lap for a better position in the kiss. Richie, being much more confident than Eddie in the whole ‘first kiss’ scenario as Eddie was of course, oblivious on how to kiss.

The two newly found 15 year old boys, had their arms all over each other with their lips smearing against the other pair that battled for dominance in the kiss. Richie ran his tongue across Eddie’s bottom lip for a silent ask for permission, knowing his boundaries due to Eddie’s phobia of anything to do with germs or sickness’. Eddie hesitated, before opening his lips to allow Richie swirl his tongue inside in perfect sync with Eddie’s. Richie was soft, comfortable and caring for Eddie, making sure to not cross any lines that would make Eddie be disgusted or revolted in any way.

Eddie then pushes Richie forward. At first, this caused Richie to think that he did somehow cross the line but instead- he was pushed on his back and Eddie was sitting on his lower stomach.

Richie stared up at Eddie with soft eyes as well as a smirk. “I always thought you’d be a bottom, Eds.” 

Eddie’s chest burned bright as his blush had spread all over. “Shut up, asshole. I don’t like it when you call me that.”

But oh, how they both knew that what Eddie had said was a lie.

Eddie then leaned down, his lips colliding with Richie’s again, tasting the same blackberry bubblegum that lingered on Richie’s set of lips from the previous night whilst his own tasted of mint. His legs begun shaking lightly from the intense makeout session that was happening currently, only for Richie to place his hand on the back of Eddie’s thigh to soothe him.

Hey have you seen- oh.”

Eddie flung himself away from Richie and Richie fell off the mattress head first with a grunt of pain leaving past his pink and swollen lips. Eddie pressed his back against the wall, tidying his messy hair and trying to cover his own flustered blush that had been permanently tattooed onto his cheeks.

Both saw Stan, stood there, with a water gun in his hands and his own face heating up in embarrassment from walking in on a situation which could’ve went anywhere if he had not walked in. Stan gulped audibly and looked elsewhere.

I’d like to talk to you when you have your pants on, okay?

The two boys looked at each other in horror and realised how the situation must look to someone like Stan who just walked in on the two boys pantless and in their underwear with Eddie sitting on top of Richie in a heated makeout.

“No Stan it’s not-”

Stan had already walked off, without letting Richie finish his sentence.

Eddie quickly reached for his inhaler which was kept under his pillow, taking a few quick puffs from anxiety racing under his skin. Richie looked over worryingly before sighing.

“Look, don’t worry. Lets just get dressed and go talk to him, kay’?”

Despite Richie’s comforting words, Eddie couldn’t help but feel his fear of his sexuality raise higher and higher. He pushed it back as both him and Richie dressed themselves in their usual attire for the day.

Both boys, once done changing, looked at eachother with soft eyes and Richie then offered his hand out to Eddie and tilting his head as if he was mentally asking, ‘Are you okay?’

Eddie nodded, reaching his own out and grabbing Richie’s for comfort. Richie then walked forward and guided his soon to be boyfriend out of Bill’s empty bedroom.

Hey guys! I’ve told you before that I’m a writer so this is a hella long post because it’s track-by-track. Unapologetically so. Hope you guys enjoy x 

TRACK 1: “… READY FOR IT?

 This song is a battlecry. The thumping bass brings to mind the heavy thud of wolves paws as they race towards their prey, seeking the trail left by a girl who used to leave her heart open and on her sleeve, ready to be snatched at any moment in a snap of their jaws. But no more. From the moment she clears her throat, we learn this battle will be on Taylor’s terms. It is her fight to win.

This is the first love song she’s released and had complete artistic ownership of in three years. It is no coincidence then that there’s reference to the tortured passions of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. They were a couple hopelessly and dangerously in love with many scars carved on their hearts by the other’s knife. This reference is a throwaway to the long list of ex lovers the girl who bathes in diamonds has had but also a reference to the flickers of hope Taylor feels for longevity no matter what with Joe. Their road may be complicated at times but they will get  there because the game is hers. The constant question of ready for it and in response baby let the games begin is so obviously a call of warning to Joe for what lies ahead but perhaps more subtly it is the call of Taylor’s inner voices and heart to her razor sharp self awareness. Is she ready for the games to begin? Is she ready to open her heart and give Joe a chance to be a better man?

TRACK 2: “END GAME” ft. Ed Sheeran & Future:

This song starts off with Taylor’s declaration that she wants to find a forever. It sounds sincere, gentle, wearied, the tone of the too often heartbroken. But then it shifts, it’s like the rose coloured glasses have come off and she’s reminded of her reputation. Then it’s all tongue in cheek sarcastic satire to keep the smile in place so that we don’t see how much it hurts. She has to weigh up every interaction in the context of her reputation. The addition of Ed & Future speaks volumes; one is a time trusted friend who has finally found a bright love of his own but that was not without heartbreak and the other gives her an edgier attitude that makes her self awareness all the more powerful.

There has been a further loss of innocence in this sharpening of her self awareness, gone are the wistful days of “say you’ll remember me”, that’s all I want. Now it’s all “I don’t wanna touch you, I don’t wanna be just another ex love you don’t wanna see.” She can see the fall right from the start but this time she opts out and says unless I’m your end game… because I don’t want to pick up any more pieces of my broken heart.

Also: Shoutout to Ed for his Cherry inspired verse. It made me feel many emotions too. SWEERAN THRIVES.

TRACK 3: “I DID SOMETHING BAD.”

The girl with the long list of ex lovers is back. However with the casually explicit twist, this narrative seems layered with perceptions and recognition of self-worth, “If a man talks shit, I owe him nothing.” This is drip-feeding the media exactly what they want, she’s stoking the fire herself. But in feeding the fire herself, she’s sending the burning embers back at them. Did you really think the girl who you used as an international rod for slut shaming would stay quiet forever? Nope. She doesn’t care if you burn her like a witch at the stake because she’s already done it. She’s burnt away all of the misplaced guilt and is now revelling in how good they felt in the moment. In fact, watch out she’s blazing with all the fire of a phoenix reborn and you might just get turned to ash.

TRACK 4: “DON’T BLAME ME.”

This & “I Did Something Bad” sound like sister tracks. The girl who jetsets around the world collecting men isn’t quite finished with her tale yet. She reminds us that defining her relationships by their headlines and paparazzi shots is a foolish move because those things are  one-dimensional. Taylor believes in love and this is her way of reminding us that there was love in every escapade of her heart up until now, at least at some point. She’s talking about the heady rushes head spinning intoxication of first glances and hands on skin and it doesn’t matter what the media says about the way she handles relationships because they forget love and that makes you crazy. Maybe in their minds the drug she refers to is not a singular identity but a collective “baby” and to them love will always be something she “uses”. But the heart wants what it wants and Taylor knows that so it doesn’t really matter.

TRACK 5: “DELICATE.”

This is the kind of song that happens when you cut the cord that is the boy crazy perception of yourself. You step back into the shadows and disappear so that they can’t find you. You close your heart, lock your doors and rebuild. And then he shows up. This is a cautionary songpp because Taylor can obviously feel sparks but… she’s just started to rebuild and if they find out the wolf hunt begins again. With delicate disbelieving vocals, we see Taylor start to realise that he can’t possibly want to gain anything from her reputation because it’s so bad… The wheels turn in her head. I imagine the realisation, “Wait so he must like me for me?” With the beat drop comes hope. Details are slowly given and then he stays. He doesn’t run so Taylor gives him pieces of herself; confessions thoughts and then her brain catches up with her mouth and the wheels come to a grinding halt: Her inner monologue screams it was too much too fast. We’ve all been there. It’s too delicate. No going back now. It’ll break and I’ll be left alone. Maybe one day I’ll find someone who doesn’t walk away, one day too.

TRACK 6: “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.”

The world tore a girl to shreds, made her play the fool on tilted stages. She retreated and rebuilt. Now the fool is dead. From here on out, she only trusts her army. With high heeled boots, red lips and words as sharp as daggers, she’s cutting herself a path. She is taking no prisoners and she’s accompanied by a savage snake because she and her army will always be better at the game. When she’s finished hunting down your asses, she’ll sit back on her throne with a high pitched giggle and say, “oh look what you made me do.”

TRACK 7:  “SO IT GOES…”

When people are watching, you have to be careful. Cover your tracks. Taylor doesn’t leave her heart open or on display anymore. But then they leave. The door shuts. You lock it with a key and the crashing chemistry you’ve been trying to deny slams into your ribs, knocking the breath out of you. It’s stolen kisses, careless touches, reckless chasing of the high. Body language is a fluency all its own. But a quick reminder before you unlock the door and venture out again; wash the lipstick off your face. *clears throat* you got a little caught up in the moment and you don’t want to blow your cover!

TRACK 8: “GORGEOUS.”

 The childish proclamation of the title to begin this next glimpse into Reputation  is hinting at the satirical inner monologue that this song is , reminiscent of the times you write your crush’s  last name instead of your own to see how it fits. It’s all giggles and late night phone calls, the kind Taylor most likely had with Abigail where they talked real slow because it was late and their mamas didn’t know (: However, it could also serve as a projection of the runaway daydream that fills Taylor’s mind from that very first night when she stumbles home alone to her cats, of what a possible future might look like (with kids one day) The lazy liquor loosened rhythms of Taylor’s thoughts tell us things she hasn’t admitted fully yet but will soon on nights at 4am staring at her reflection  in the bathroom mirror, telling herself the bravest thing she ever did was run - that this gorgeous  swoonworthy British boy with his careless touches and drawling accent has awakened the possibility of something better. This realisation rattles Taylor as she contemplates the gaps in her current relationship. *cue wistful sighs of frustration and enchantment, set to the dialogue of every teenage movie where the girl thinks the boy is just too good looking, how unfair is that?

TRACK 9: “GETAWAY CAR.”

The thing about any movie that has a getaway car scene is that they inevitably crash…. And that’s exactly what happens here. Except, the carnage is human hearts. She was running. There was a person she crashed into. It gets all blurred and tangled, she thinks she’s free but the thing about those movies is that the thing you ran from in the getaway car catches up to you particularly if there’s a track you can follow. Oceans of distance weren’t enough, darling. You needed to disappear. And I think she realises that  but she tries to pretend innocence and will the sunset closer. Unfortunately  the only real  way to untangle yourself is to disappear crying in the back of a getaway car in the dead of night. Without a word. That must have hurt a lot.

TRACK 10: “KING OF MY HEART.”

This song happens in tandem with Delicate. She’d sworn off love. Joe turned up. The British boy with the heart of gold who made his American queen believe. He made behind closed doors a paradise of rooftop nights. Before she knows it, he is every love story Taylor has ever daydreamed of. The line “is this the end to all the endings” made my heart swell because it’s clear Taylor hopes he’s the one. Please let there be no more heartbreak.

TRACK 11: “DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED.”

Dancing is supposed to be a joyous thing and maybe it was in the beginning. You can reassure with every beat. Sometimes your gut instinct shouldn’t be ignored though  because it does raise red flags. The door only needs to be fractionally ajar for the hunters to find a way in and set your paradise aflame. It sometimes doesn’t matter how much you dance to escape the flames, they will catch you. You will get tired. Dancing is a bliss that is euphoria swimmimg through your veins if the beat enters your bloodstream in the right moment; you feel like you could live forever. And in the end no matter how much it might hurt to walk away again, you would still dance for just another kick of that rush.

TRACK 12: “DRESS.”

Taylor’s caught up in the chemical rush. Every syllable drips with lust and the glory of the high when your hearts crash into each other, slamming the breath from between your ribs. It’s hands in hair and I don’t care what they think. It’s seeing the worst (hi bleachella) and still wanting. It’s realising you made mistakes before this and why didn’t you just do this from the beginning because it feels so good now you can’t ever have imagined wanting anything else. But every mistake is a marker in the roadmap and you woke up just in time to find where you needed to be.

TRACK 13: “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.”

I think everyone’s been in this situation, right? Someone burns you and it hurts but in the fun of a party, you click and connect again and it all starts to feel like water under the bridge. Maybe there was over-reacting happening. You throw them a second chance. Redemption. You’re the nice girl and you make excuses. But then they do it again, maybe it takes a couple of things and suddenly it’s too much. You lock the gate for your own safety. But they still expect you not to care. To flash a smile and forgive. I’m sorry. That’s not happening. You get hurt when I push back. I guess I should forgive you because we both threw stones. But… that would require me to mean it. Whoops, *laughs manaically* I can’t even say it with a straight face!!!

PS: It’s not too obvious I have personal experience with this song is it? Thanks KS x.

TRACK 14: “CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.”

This song is difficult for me to process because I never thought it would actually happen. I seem to remember somewhere along the way, a couple of years back, Taylor expressing frustration that she couldn’t seem to write happy songs about being in love like Ed Sheeran could. Well, I wish you could go back Taylor and tell yourself what you know now.

This song is a three minute ode to happy love. It’s smiles so wide you might split your face in half at the thought of that person. It’s blushing and shy giggles and bursts of song and twirls and all caps texts from your girls as they collectively lose their minds over how happy you are. This is every love story and fairytale Taylor has ever wanted but the wolves are always waiting, not so easy to outrun. 

Taylor says it herself in the  opening lines. She was done. The castle had crumbled. The bricks left bruises blooming on her exposed skin. People were tearing her down and she was hurting. Her heart had been shattered but so had her soul, again and again, relentlessly. And then she retreated, went silent and rebuilt. What she didn’t count on was love. A man who saw all the bruises and broken pieces and said it’s OK, I can still find the real you under all that. Taylor like so many of us looked in the mirror and saw all the danger for herself and for Joe, tried to push him away, keep him safe. That’s a very noble action but breaking your own heart so it doesn’t hurt as much when you feel like the other shoe is going to drop requires apathy from the other person. And Joe, god bless you, you didn’t let her push you away. You broke down her walls and showed you that starlight love does still exist. You loved her for Taylor. The person. You got her to give love a chance when she swore never again so thank you so much for that. I can’t really express how much that means to all of us. 

 This is an anthem of hope for every person who has ever been broken and is in the process of putting pieces back together. It can be done. We will find love. We will be radiantly happy again. We will be the strongest we’ve ever been. 

PS: *leans over to whisper in Taylor’s ear*

I think you’re finally clean…

TRACK 15: “NEW YEARS DAY.”

Piano on the final track… This is an ode of pure hope and happiness, a fitting final chapter to a remarkable story. Everyone wants the glory of the midnights and the lover who will be in their bloodstream like the party. But what we all hope for is someone who stays long enough to help us clean up the bottles on New Years Day. Someone who makes us feel like the messy unfiltered parts look like a highlight reel. Good times and bad times and all in between. They won’t leave. You found him. Forever.

This album is fucking brilliant Taylor. I love you. Proud x.

@taylorswift @taylornation @brian-mansfield

Advice For The Signs

LIBRA: Occasionally you have to fake it until you make it. I know that this is a cliche you’ve heard many times before, but have you ever actually tried it? Cliches don’t become ‘cliche’ unless a lot of people believe in what they’re implying. Feel free to test this, even if it’s just for a day or two. Pretend that you’re in the right career, pretend that you haven’t been sad at all for the last few weeks, pretend that you’re powerful and comfortable and know exactly who you are. Sometimes a little confidence, even if it begins as a front, is the final piece to the puzzle.

SCORPIO: You’ve had chains wrapped around your ankles for so long now that you hardly ever notice their weight anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful that you’ve found a way to cope with the things that try to drag you down. But it seems like you’ve become so complacent in this state of being that you’ve given up on escape. Like you’re an audience member to your own existence. But you aren’t, even though life comes at you so viciously sometimes. You are in charge of your body, and in charge of what you do with it. Now use it.

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green-eyed monster

request: Could you do a Steve x reader where Billy hits on her and it forces Steve to admit his felling for the reader? Maybe some like cute fluff??

warning: some cursing

word count: 1,534

“Damn, look at the legs on that one.”

Steve couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the guy standing a few feet away from him. Billy Hargrove was the resident bad boy at Hawkins High School. He was obnoxious and a total asshole.

The two of them clashed on multiple occasions. It was clear that they would never ever be friends and Steve was perfectly okay with that. He didn’t want to associate himself with a guy like Billy.

“The things that I would do to that beauty.” Billy whistled making a couple of guys around him laugh.

Steve had been tying his shoes and trying to ignore the stupid shit coming from Billy’s mouth. He looked up to see the poor girl that had gotten Billy’s current attention.

He was shocked when he saw that it was you.

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regularghostly  asked:

Okay I know the popular scenario is "embarrassed mutual pining" (and trust me I love that) but what about this: soon after lance realizes his feelings for Keith he just fully embraces them and starts flirting with Keith almost 24/7 the way he does with random alien chick only more specific/flattering? And Keith's like "what did my gay ass do to deserve this" not knowing Lance is actually fully serious. Then Lance finally stops playing games and just asks him out and Keith's like U WERE SERIOUS?

NSDJFKHJGDNKSFHBKSMFJNGH HOW ABOUT THIS:


The time Lance realized that he was undeniably attracted to boys was directly correlated to Keith. It was weird because he could have sworn that he didn’t like Keith - that dense, unwillingly condescending and hotheaded idiot - until. Well. Until they were out after a mission mingling with the locals and Keith was just standing there, a drink in his hand, smiling softly while he talked to a young alien girl. 

It was a huge thing. Lance’s breath caught, his heart skipped a beat and all the blood in his body rushed to his cheeks. Keith hadn’t even done anything special, he really just stood there, a soft and attentive look on his stupidly perfect face while the sun drew patterns on his mullet. It should have been an everyday thing except it wasn’t because Lance really could count on one hand all the incidences where he wouldn’t have changed a thing about Keith (including his awful hairstyle).

So back then Lance did the most sensible thing he could have done: down his drink, cough like mad because wrong pipe and hightail the quiznak out of this situation before it could go completely wrong.

Also, a private freakout that lasted for like five minutes. And maybe some stress eating and extra face care but honestly, that wasn’t a bad thing. He was a paladin of Voltron, they were fighting pretty much 24/7, he was allowed to eat more of Hunk’s cookies if he wanted to. And his face certainly wouldn’t complain about testing out new products to help it stay smooth and soft.

Honestly, Lance thought he had handled it pretty well. No excessive drama and no insults hurled Keith’s way. He’d like to think that he matured through his time as a defender of the universe and could now totally deal with being attracted to boys and Keith. No problemo for Loverboy Lance. 

Except, of course, it was Keith. How did one woo Keith? He was pretty sure that Keith was gay, that wasn’t the problem, the problem was that Keith was dense as quiznak. 

Luckily, the response had been right in front of his eyes: Keith might have been dense but Keith has also spent nearly 2 years with him in space and knew what Lance’s flirting looked like. It was ideal, he just had to act like he always did, not even Keith could be stupid enough to misunderstand that. 

So when the opportunity arose, Lance didn’t hesitate to take it.

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I'm Not Your Toy

A/N: So I’m finally getting through my asks! This one was a request for an insecure reader and an over zealous flirty Bucky. I love writing him like this! So I got carried away and suddenly this was almost five thousand words so I’m going to have to split it into a two parter! Ugh, charming Bucky. You do things to my heart

Word Count: 4k+

Warnings: A disgusting amount of pining, sailor like cursing, maybe triggering self doubt and insecurity, pretty SFW…for now.

Summary: You’d supported Steve and his decision to not kill Bucky. Fuck, you even supported Steve when he’d literally started a war over Bucky. Done jail time for him. But you what you couldn’t manage to do for the life of you, for the love of Steve, was get along with Bucky. Especially when he managed to make you blush every time you were in the same room as the man

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It Wasn’t Real (part one)

Summary: You’re part of the infamous Loser’s Club, and often asked, what are you afraid of? You reply, nothing, but what your friends don’t know is that your biggest fear is them.

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - finale

A/N: So literally i was overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I got for this story. Once again THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I’m actually so excited to start this series and I have so many ideas bubbling around in my head, so please enjoy.

There’s something’s i need to make clear before we get started. The rest of the story (except for the first part) will happen four years after the events in IT Chapter One. I know that sounds weird but it will get better I promise! This is also sort of an AU mainly because IT will come back sooner than twenty-seven years, which doesn’t happen in the book. So it’s like based off the original story but isn’t at the same time?? It will all make sense! And there will be an Character x Reader ending, but i’ve closed down the poll as of now until we get further into the story! Right now, Richie is leading!

Anyways… I hope you all enjoy this story! Oh! And Henry hasn’t die in my story, as well as his father. Everything else is the same.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

Pairing: Loser’s Club x Reader, slight Henry x Reader (you’ll see)

Warnings: force, bullying, depressing and sad tones.

Tag’s List: @chalatea
wanna be featured? message me letting me know!


Originally posted by kingkaspbrak

It wasn’t real.

It seemed that maybe it was. When time passes, friends tend to forget each other. It was an unsaid thing. No friendships last forever, no matter hard you tried to make them. But something in you had always told you that when it came to the Loser’s Club that wasn’t true.

You’d been wrong.

Separated from those you called your family, everyone started drifting apart. Some of them still talked, like Eddie and Richie or Bill and Beverly, but in the end, no one really was as close as they use to.

It was almost as if they’d forgotten, stopped believing in what you all experienced. And you couldn’t understand why. Because while everyone was off moving on, forgetting, you only seemed to remember. You tried. Tried and fought and screamed and yelled for them, but it was like you were standing in the back, watching as their back turns. Watching Richie look away, watching Eddie follow or Bill turn and Beverly distance herself. You saw less and less of Mike, Ben never left the library and Stan… Stan wouldn’t even look at you.

Soon it was just you, just like IT had teased, and you were alone.

So, no, Bill, it was real.

Three Years Later…

You let out a breath of relief as the school bell rung, signalling the end of class. English class today in particular had been boring and repetitive, some idiot decided to back talk the teacher so the majority of the class was spent with Ms. Green lecturing you all. It would’ve been fine, had that not meant that your pile of homework had grown significantly larger in size.

Gathering your binder and books, you quickly stuffed them into your bag. Though when you looked up, you noticed that most of the students were already out and sighed. It meant the hallways were going to be cramped with people, and it was the end of the day.

Knowing it was inevitable either way, you slipped your backpack over your shoulders calmly and pulled the straps. “Have a nice weekend, Ms. Green.” You waved at your teacher. She may have just spent an hour yelling at you all and then the last half talking about what you had to catch up on, but she was nice when she wanted to be.

“You as well, Y/N.” She shortly replied, not sparring you a glance. You hesitated a moment, watching the way her eyes didn’t even move to say goodbye before sighing and making her way out the door. The hallway wasn’t as bad as you expected, which was a breath of relief. Quickly, you made your way down the hall, turned a right and low and behold there stood your locker.

Putting in the combination, you begin organizing what you’d need over the weekend and what you wouldn’t. Though, your moment of peace was quickly interrupted when the door of your locker was slammed to the side. You jumped, letting out a bewildered shock and turned to see who had so rudely disturbed you only to find a face you hadn’t wanted to see.

“Hey, babe.” Henry greeted, smiling down at you. Henry Bowers, the same Henry Bowers who use to bully you and your friends back in middle school. Of course, Henry confessed he doesn’t ever remember doing such a thing. I’d remember a pretty face like yours

Refusing the urge to shiver, you sent a short smile at him; “Jesus, Henry. You nearly gave me a heart attack.” He only shrugged, as if he didn’t care. Smiling through the discomfort, you grabbed your locker door, moving it off of the next one and Henry wasted no time leaning against it.

Henry Bowers had been sent back two years, making him in the exact same grade as you, of course he was eighteen already. Though, that didn’t mean he acted any more mature. 

“So, you coming with us to the pit tonight?” Henry asked, looking lazily over at you. Setting your final textbook in your locker, you shut the door with a soft thud; “us?”

“Belch and me.” He clarified. You hated Belch, all he did was well… belch. And it disgusted you, but it seemed no matter what him and Henry stayed friends. At least some things were the same. “Oh, and I believe Amy will be joining us.” 

“Oh,” you mumbled. “I don’t think I wi-”

“Why not?” Henry interrupted, cutting whatever you’d been about to say off.

You shifted uncomfortably, taking a tentative step back when Henry straightened out. You should probably just go, Henry would back off if you did. But you really did not want to spend the night in some dingy corner of the town with belching Belch and bitchy Amy. “My mom… she wants me home tonight.”

“Your mom?” Henry laughed, as if that was the craziest thing you’d ever said. Leaning down, he didn’t ask when he grabbed your wrist; “your mom never wants you home. Come on, it’ll be fun.” Fun for you, you wanted to say, but knew better. Knowing nothing you could say would allow you to stay home, you let Henry drag you off into the direction of the school doors.

You zoned out whatever he’d been saying, loosing yourself in your mind. At least it was the weekend, you told yourself, after tonight you wouldn’t have to speak to anyone, let alone see anyone. Of course, two days only lasted so long… Weekends use to be filled with adventure back in middle school… of course you were a child then and so was everyone else… but, it had been an adventure.

“Agh…” 

Turning your head, you were pulled from your thoughts as a familiar head walked by. You could almost swear… Time seemed to freeze, as the person’s head floated before you, but then suddenly it was gone. Looking down, you heard the thud as their body smacked against the ground. 

“Watch where you’re going, freak.” Henry laughed, shoving his hand into Belch’s stomach in excitement. You hadn’t even noticed Belch join you…

Looking over at the body, you didn’t move as they slowly moved to their hands and knees. You of course, felt bad, put no part of you wanted to help them. You only stared with a lazy eye, your wrist still in Henry’s grasp. It was only when their head turned up to glare at your boyfriend did you feel an reaction flood through you.

“Eddie…” You whispered, gaining a strange reaction from Henry and Belch. Seeing their gaze, you moved to look away before your eye caught Eddie’s. There laid Eddie, the same Eddie you used to constantly worry over and mother, on his knees, blood pooling from his chin where he’d smacked it against the ground.

His eye met you, but you didn’t do anything. 

Soon he groaned in pain, Henry had kicked him. Henry leaned forward, towering over the boy; “stay down.” And before you knew it, the grasp on your wrist tugged and you were off.


You gripped your jacket sleeves with force, watching as your breath formed before you in the cool evening air. You hated walking home alone, especially at night. It was when you saw things, things that shouldn’t be there but were. But of course, Henry hadn’t wanted to walk you home, so that left only one other option.

You laughed out into the bitter air, when did Henry ever wanna walk you home?

It’d caused many fights before, back when you first started dating. You didn’t want to stay out that later (or go out at all) but of course Henry wanted to, so you did. You’d stay out all night, doing whatever dumb thing him and his friends could think off until the sun had set and you could no longer see past you clearly. You’d beg him to walk you home, but he’d only shove you away and continue hanging with his friends.

Though, you guessed the moment of peace gave you time to think. Think about whatever. It never really was the same.

You let your eyes wander above you, to the night sky, viewing the many stars as you walked the streets of your neighbourhood. You were close, thankfully. It was January, meaning a new year and christmas had just passed. That also meant many houses still had there christmas lights up, too lazy to take them down and you could view the bright colourful lights in peace.

It wasn’t often you saw so much colour in your life nowadays.

Your feet made a crunching noise as you stepped into the snow, a sound you loved very much. There was nothing but colourful lights, empty streets and mindful thoughts.

“Y/N…”

You could see your house now, just before you and that gave you motivation to quicken your step. 

“Y/N.” Gasping, you turned around at the voice. You weren’t sure what you’d expected, but you had expected something. Instead, all you found was nothing. Just the street you’d already walked on a million times and the darkened houses except for the bright christmas lights. Shaking your head, you turned back around. You must’ve been imagining it.

“Y/N.” Okay, that time you hadn’t. You were sure of it.

“Henry?” You called, turning around once again. “Henry is that you?” Of course, nothing. People didn’t really like to reply to you much these days. “Henry, I-I swear to god if this is a prank…” There was nothing there, but you were so sure you’d heard a voice.

“Y/N.” You spun, the voice now much closer behind you. Except when you turned around, there wasn’t anything there.

“Time to play.” You spun again, back around and for a moment you saw what you never thought you’d see again. IT. IT. It’s red fire-y hair and sinister smile. But the next time you blinked, it was gone. “Time to play, Y/N.” You instinctively took a step back as maniacal laughter filled your ears.

Bolting around, you took quick and loud steps to your house, not daring to peer back behind you. You scrambled for your keys, fumbling to get them out of your back but the minute you did, you unlocked your door and swung it open. You wasted no time slamming it behind you, falling to the ground before it as you let out a shaky breaths.

Holding your hand against your chest, you tried to even your breathing. You were never afraid, at least you hadn’t been. Your friends made you stronger and now where were they?

Panting, you let out a little whimper. The second you closed your eyes, IT appeared and you wasted no time in opening your eyes again. Taking a look around your dark and vacant house, you were pulled away from the events that had happened outside and back into reality. “Mom?” You called, “you home?”

You wandered into the kitchen, finding nothing. No note, nothing. She obviously wasn’t home, but it’d be nice if she could at least let you know. Sighing, you dropped your bag on the dining table, taking a seat on one of the chairs. You let your head lean on your hand, staring at the darkened room around you.

“What happened…?”


Part 2?

Let me know what you thought! I hope you all enjoyed!

What I’ve read #4

Fluent in 3 months, Benny Lewis.

The main ideas of this book:

“Stop making excuses. There’s simply no reason you “can’t” learn a new language.”

  • Your age doesn’t matter when it comes to learning a new language.
  • There’s no “ language gene” that you need to have. 
  • “I don’t have time” is an excuse, you can make time. Use even those only 2 free minutes if you have to.
  • We waste our time on social media, watching tv, youtube daily.

“When you are dedicated to a language, there is not a single moment to waste.”

  • You can learn languages for free. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on resources. The internet has many free resources, just as good as the expensive ones.
  • Don’t wait for the perfect course or time, there’s no such thing.
  • If you have problems with your learning/studying method, change it. It’s okay if you chose something that’s not working for you, you can use something else and see what works.
  • Speak a language from day one, don’t wait until you feel ready or until you’ve studied everything.
  • Be patient and focus on 1 thing at a time. 
  • There’s no “hardest language”. Ignore people who say there’s one.
  • Plateaus aren’t for forever. You can overcome them.
  • Perfect mastery is impossible.

“Applying higher standards to your target language than you would to your native language is overkill.”

  • If you get bored, stop and try something new. Languages aren’t boring and you don’t have to study them 24/7.
  • Stop fearing natives. They will talk to you. 
  • Don’t wait until you feel “prepared” to talk to natives. You’ll never feel that.

“Way too much emphasis is put on speaking with no accent, as if being a spy is the ultimate point of your language project rather than communicating with other human beings.”

  • If your family and friends don’t support your choice of learning a language, remember that there are many online communities who will support you.
  • Not everyone speaks English.
  • Technology will never replace learning a language. You can’t live through translations, you need to deal directly with the language.

“So much of human communication is about context, reading complex body language, and understanding the subtle meaning of pauses and volume to gauge someone’s feelings. This is incredibly hard to emulate with a computer.”

  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Your progress is yours, someone else’s progress is theirs.
  • You can learn a language that you’ve forgotten.
  • You can learn a language even if you have a disability. (this part of the book is really inspiring tbh)

“And if you are still in doubt about a particular setback that prevents you from learning a language, check out fi3m.com/ch–1 and find an even longer version of this list, watch some inspiring videos, and read stories from other struggling language learners and suggestions on where you can go for language advice.”

  • Pick a specific goal not only “Learn Spanish in 1 year”.
  • Everyone has a different definition for “fluent” and “fluency”.
  • The CEFRL System
  • Benny Lewis thinks that fluency starts from B2 and includes the levels from above.
  • You can’t achieve fluency if you don’t work!
  • If you’re new to language learning, aim for B1 in 3 months. 
  • If you learned a language before to a mastery level, then you can aim for 3 months since you have your metho to approach a language.
  • The title of the book was chosen because the author had only 3 months to learn his languages.

“There are seven days in a week, and “someay” isn’t one of them.”

  • Progress is progress, appreciate it even if you don’t achieve your main goal.
  • Choose mini-missions and be sure they are what you need.
  • Taking breaks is important and you won’t burnout quickly.

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.”

  • Associate new words with images/stories if you want to memorize them fast.
  • Another way to learn fast new words is spaced repetition.
  • Sing in order to learn phrases.
  • Learn mini-scripts similar to real conversations.
  • Use memrise for learning words.
  • Try to immerse from home.
  • Couchsurfing.org
  • Use media to learn.
  • Use media to connect with people who can help you with your studies.
  • As a beginner is okay to translate from your native language to your target one.
  • Try to talk as much as possible in your target language.
  • Jack Sparrow method, when you’re hesitating, add some drama to your attitude and body language so you can get more time to think of what to say or remember something you forgot.
  • Ignore your shiness, go and say “hi” and make new friends.
  • Be active with your language. Use it as much as possible.
  • Learn cognates.
  • Learn modal verbs from the start. They are helpful in conversations.

[many pages with tips for some specific languages]

  • Always look for ways to improve.
  • If you want to reach C2, then traditional learning is helpful.
  • Have more complex conversations.
  • Use movies and books to reach C2.
  • Force yourself to think in your target language.
  • If you want to be mistaken for a native, act like them.
  • Master certain ways of talking if you want others to think you’re a native.
  • Learn the melody of the language.
  • Intonation can make the difference between being considered a native or a learner.
  • Many people can’t learn multiple languages at once.
  • If you learn a language through another one that you learne before, you might learn faster.

[long list with resources]

It was a very interesting lecture, i have to admit it. I think it’s a good book for reading. I might have got bored every now and then but in the end, i learned a couple of new stuff.

;lit me up (m)

pairing— kim namjoon x reader, author! namjoon
genre/warnings— smut, slight angst, romance
words— 9,222

:: summary— you find yourself becoming captivated by a mysterious, handsome author, but you may have bitten off more than you can chew…

note— extracts taken from the bts highlight reels, found here and the serendipity lyrics, found here. Inspired by the song found here.

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