i had to throw my phone and time the shot

7

It feels good to be back doesn’t it? I can’t wait to watch the episode tonight,but I want to share this story as well:

 Heading into this hiatus I was really down, because I’d been notified that the farm that I’ve worked at since graduating from college (I artificially inseminate horses-amongst other things), would be closing. I spent a lot of time being absolutely terrified because, yes, I do have some savings but I also have a kid to take care of, a mortgage, a car note, you know…just your average everyday cost of living expenses.

Around the time we were prepping to close the farm, a friend of mine called and told me about a position he thought I was well suited for. Obviously, I had nothing to lose, so I decided in the words of Lin Manuel-Miranda’s A.Ham, “I am not throwing away my shot!”

I applied for the job the next day and received a call for a phone interview the next day. That went well and I was invited for an in-person interview. So on April 3rd, I woke up at like….midnight (the BFC chat can verify) because I was so nervous and spent about 2 hrs stressing before it was time to drive myself to Chicago (about 5 hrs) for the in-person interview. 

I left the interview feeling really confident in what I’d put out there, but the days ticked by and I heard nothing. I wasn’t feeling very confident in myself or my interview skills, but 7 days later (exactly-it was April 10th), I received an email that simply said “Congratulations!” and when I clicked on the message, I found an offer letter for the job that I’d interviewed for!!!

So, long story short: end of July/beginning of August (depending on how long it takes for my documents to be authenticated and my visa to be processed), I (and my son) will be moving to Dubai/Abu Dhabi so that I can begin working my new job, where I will receive 3x my old salary, medical insurance, a housing allowance, a furniture allowance, a car allowance and more.

I am beyond excited and so grateful for the opportunity that I’ve been given and I can’t wait to share some of my experiences with you all here in the coming months!!!!

Tagging the people I told first:

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The Run Through - Smut

 Author: mystic-biscuit
Series Rating: NSFW 18+

Words:5442


Notes: I started this fic when the picture below first was released and I was over come (pun intended) with rage lust I needed to get it out. I things I would do I tell ya. *wipes brow* and I’m applying for the film union here so this gives me extra rage lust. 

I dont know how the casting in film works, so I made it all up.

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Requested imagine 33 • Alex

Hi! It’s completely fine if you don’t want to do this but I was wondering if you would right an imagine where either Alex or Hannah (you can choose!) find out that the fem!reader self harms // used to self harm? If you do decide you’re okay with writing this can you make it really angsty? Again, it’s fine if you don’t feel comfortable but I thought I’d ask anyway! Have a lovely day!


“Stop Alex!” You squeal as your boyfriend tickled you on his bed, it was getting out of control and you were giggling so much you thought you might pass out, suddenly he stopped tickling you and sat on the end of the bed with his legs crossed “would you tell me if you were unhappy?” He asked looking at his hands “of course I would” you reply, slightly confused “and you wouldn’t take it out on yourself?” He asked again, glancing at your waist, it all fell into place “ale-” you started but you saw a tear fall “babe, it was a long time ago, I’m passed that now. You make me so happy I don’t ever think about that dark place” you told him, sitting up and cupping his face so you could wipe his tears, he nodded and lay next to you. You cuddled silently until you both fell asleep.

One week later

‘Where are you baby? Are you okay?’ - Alex

'Pick up the phone! Please! I need to know you’re okay!’ - Alex

“I’m fine, sorry my phone was dead” - y/n

'It’s okay, I was just worried you weren’t talking to me’ - Alex

'Can u come over?’ - y/n

You waited for him to arrive, feeling a little anxious, finally your bedroom door opened and Alex walked in, his eyes shot open wider when he saw that you had a few razors on the bed beside you “what’s going on!?” He demanded, starting to breathe heavier “it’s okay, sit down” he slowly sat down “we’re going to throw these away together, you’re working yourself into a frenzy worrying about me all the time. I haven’t hurt myself for 3 years and I need you to trust and believe that I’m not going to do it again” you told him and he looked ashamed “I’m sorry, baby. I know how it feels though and I know how quickly a mood or thoughts can change”. You stood up and grabbed his hand, picking up the razors in the other hand “where are we going?” He asked “the deepest ocean we can find, to dump these” you answered him, his face twitched a tiny smile and he crashed his lips to yours “were gonna be okay” he whispered, you begun to make out, dropping the razors to the floor and making your way to the bed. 20 minutes later you cuddled and continued kissing “whenever either of us are feeling sad, we’ll do this” Alex decided and you agreed “sex over scars any day” you answer him, masking alex laugh and kiss you deeply.


Sorry if this isn’t what you were after!

Thank you


So I heard today is the day to appreciate fanfic authors and I am sorry that I currently don’t have the time nor the energy to thank every single one of you by writing a comment under your works so I’m addressing this to many people. I fear I will forget a bunch of you so please don’t feel sad if you are not tagged in this post. Chances are high I haven’t even had the time to check your works out. So to everyone in this fandom even if I never saw your username thank you for contributing to it and making it 8 fantastic months so far.


Thank you for fulfilling my and many other’s prompts, sharing your meta and headcanons. Thank you for writing ficlets, one-shots, (crazy) AUs and long-ass multichapters .

Thank you for making me laugh, whisper “oh my god” and wanting to throw my phone against the next wall. For making me cry or roll around in my bed out of fluff and happiness!

Thank you for inspiring me to draw!
Thank you for making me believe that the explosion on Scarif never happened, making every re-watch of Rogue One painful as I simply forgot that they die in a beautiful embrace.

But above all thank you for taking your time to write, draw, comment, like, manipulate, cosplay or whatever else you do!

All the love to you!


@leralynne @rxbxlcaptain @ladytharen @thisideofthegalaxy @vaultfox @cornholius @thenewleeland @thesarcasticnazgul @oh-nostalgiaa @jeeno2 @fitzsimmonsy @kyberchronicles @skitzofreak @runakvaed @moonprincess92nz @jynandcassianandor  @ohstardustgirl

The Story of Tonight...

A year and a half ago I was making a new start for myself, and not understanding the Hamilton phenomenon at all…. Then I saw this video.  

I immediately loved the ensemble, the characters, and Lin Manuel Miranda.

Then I fell in love with the words.  They resonated with me.  I felt that I had been given a shot in life to start over, to have a place to live within a couple of weeks,, and a good job.  I had no choice to not throw away my shot. So I played this video on my phone forever… and then branched out to other songs… and then branched out to the entire musical.

Of course, I had to share this love of Hamilton with everyone else. 

I got chills the first time I heard “Dear Theodosia” and probably shed a few tears when Eliza is singing about the orphanage that she built in his honor, and how she decides to tell his story.  The obsession was complete…

&& now a year and a half later… I get to go see Hamilton tonight!  I am still in utter disbelief I won the lottery, and so so so excited!!!

I feel like I have grown a lot in that year and a half, and I’m still seeking opportunities to not throw away my shot. (Hello Marketing Director & PR roles & Adventures and more!)  

“And when my time is up, have I done enough, will they tell my story?” (Yup, I’m pretty sure I’ll be sobbing by the end of tonight.)

PS Thank You all for reading my story through photography, sentences with too many commas, and however else I’ve decided to share with you all.

XO Anna

Fight (REQUEST)

*** FIGHT MEANING ARGUMENT, NOT ABUSE

2 requests were very similar so I only made one - keep requesting! Also, let me know if you want a part II because I left a bit out.

***

Piling the leftover food in the trash, I sighed and began washing up the dishes. It was Saturday night, which meant date night. Usually, we go out, but I told Justin that I wanted to cook for us tonight – but he was a no show.

This has happened on more than one occasion, too. It’s always a stupid excuse, and I’m sick of it.

Once I had tidied up around the house, making sure everything was in place and neat, I made my way upstairs to take a quick shower before I settled into bed.

Throwing on some shorts and a vest top, I climbed into our king size bed and grabbed my phone. I wasn’t tired, I just had nothing else to do since Justin wasn’t here. Scrolling down my instagram, I spotted that Rory had uploaded a shot of Justin. He was out with Rory.

That angered me. He had time to have more photos of himself taken - even though theres enough to last a lifetime - but he can’t remember a meal we had planned a week in advance?

Locking my phone, I tossed it to the other side of the bed and let out a frustrated sigh. I was beyond tired of this, it was never me who forgot – always him.

Around an hour later I heard the front door open. Climbing out of bed, I walked to the top of the stairs and stood there, arms folded.

I watched as he carefully closed the door before turning around, jumping slightly when he saw me. “Oh, hey baby. Did I wake you?”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “Justin, what day is it today?”

“Uhm… Saturday, right?”

The fact that he looked none-the-wiser infuriated me, how dare he???

“And what did we have planned for Saturday night?”

He stood still, his brow furrowing due to his thinking, I tapped my foot impatiently as I watched him wrack his brain for an answer. It was a minute or two before his eyes widened. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

Sorry? SORRY????

“Sometimes sorry isn’t good enough, Justin. How many times have you done this to me?!” I asked, my voice raising slightly at the end. I couldn’t contain it any longer, I’d let it slide before, but something about tonight just made me go at him.

“I know, and I just said that I was sorry didn’t I?” He responded in the same tone.

“You know, I am so sick of you always making me second to everything else! Your job, your plans, everything Justin, am I even important?!”

“Maybe if you had a life and stopped relying on me you wouldn’t get so assy about missing a few dates!”

I stopped and looked at him in shock and hurt, his face automatically filling with regret.

“Baby, I–”

“Sleep on the couch, asshole.” I spat, turning around and slamming the bedroom door, turning the lock.

Best You’ve Ever Had
This is a prompt from @previouslyonfanwars.

WARNING: It gets smutty towards the end. And it’s long. You get a round of applause from me if you read to the end!

Owen was absent-mindedly shifting his food from one side of his plate to the other with his fork, as the attendings at the table discussed a patient that Grey was sharing with Avery. In the outskirts of his mind he was following the conversation about the patient’s history, dating back to years before Jackson had even arrived at Seattle Grace Mercy West. The core of his mind however was being occupied with thoughts of Amelia. They hadn’t been speaking and eye contact had been dwindling fast. Every time they were in the same room, tensions rose and arguments would get heated unusually quick. If they were in the same room alone, specifically the same lift, it was as if someone had pressed a mute button and turned the thermostat onto full.

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

He hadn’t even noticed her approach the table, or her tray being thrown down. He took a mental note of her choosing the empty seat next to Karev instead of sitting next to him. She couldn’t be further away from him if she tried. He sighed in frustration and subtly tried to catch her eye.

“We were just saying how much of a dirty whore Mark Sloan was,” Arizona said. Owen backtracked his peripheral thoughts and realised the table had managed to steer the conversation from Jackson’s patient history with Sloan, onto Mark himself.

“And we worked out that Callie is the last person left in the hopsital who slept with him,” Jackson added.

“Not entirely true,” Amelia spoke. Owen’s head snapped up from his now cold baked potato.

“What? Who?!” Alex asked, knowing for certain that all the nurses and drugs reps had slowly but surely moved on from Grey Sloan. He knew this due to their shared taste in women.

“I slept with Mark,” she admitted, shrugging off the shocked faces of Arizona and Callie. Jackson was shaking his head in amused disbelief and she cautiously glanced at Owen whose glare could have cut ice. She blushed a little and averted her eyes back to her food.

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She Does Her Worshipping in Private (Shalaska) - Isla

A/N: Shalaska, SMUT, 1.3K words

A new writer oh my. Hi, my name’s Isla and this is the first fic I have submitted to AQ! Let me know what you think, and if you have any requests for any Katlaska or Shalaska feel free to message me on my sideblog! (bitchalaska) This fic is based on a prompt I saw a while ago, and it’s been stuck in my mind. I hope I did the anon justice.

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Lucky Stars

Word Count: 3228

Pairing: Bucky/Reader

Warnings: Super wrong astronomy. Probably won’t bother you unless you study astronomy.

Summary: Bucky takes an interest in an art project that you’ve been working on, and you’re more than happy to share it with him. 

Note: So my main fic that I’ve been working on has become really angsty and I still have some dark bits to get through. So when I got inspiration for this fluffy one shot, I went with it.

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This is a Cake preference based off of a “saw your number written in the washroom stall” AU

Luke was just dozing off after a long day with the boys. He was exhausted, and he had almost fallen asleep when his phone went off. Ignoring the text, he rolled over trying to fall back asleep. When three more texts came in. Sighing he grabbed his phone, checking the messages from an unknown number.

“Heyyy”

“The washroom wall said to call you for a good time and I’m soooo bored”

“Are you even going to answer me? This is not what I’d call a good time ya goof :P”

“What the fuck?” Luke muttered to himself. “Who is this?” he texted back.

“I’m (Y/N) and my friend’s making out with some 6 at the bar and I’m bored so I’m texting you. So what would a good time with you be? And don’t say riding you cause that’s lame. What’s your name? Wowowow I shouldn’t have had that last shot.”

Luke couldn’t believe this was fucking happening to him. Part of him just wanted to throw his phone across the room and go back to sleep, but something told him you weren’t about to stop texting any time soon. He was also concerned about the drunk chick alone in the washroom texting him. “I’m Luke,” he texted back. “How did you get my number again?”

“OMG you don’t listen. The washroom wall says ‘For a good time call or text this number, tell him Michael sent you’ and now I’m texting you because I’m bored and am looking for a good time but like in a let’s go to a carnival kind of way. I haven’t been to a carnival in ages, what about you Luke? My favourite part is the carnival food it’s so yummy.”

Of course, this is Michael’s doing. He was going to kill his friend, for doing this to him. He was just lucky more people hadn’t texted him. Still, despite being pissed at Michael, Luke couldn’t help but laugh at your texts. “I haven’t been to a carnival in a long time either. I like the games the best, even if they’re rigged.”

“Nothing like spending $15 to win a $1 stuffed animal lol OH! My friend is going home with the guy, I guess that means I should head home…”

Well text me when you get there, so I know you’re safe.” Luke texted back, concern growing for the drunk girl he was texting.

“You’re so so sweet, thank you. And thank you for showing me a good time ;)”

“Any time :D” Luke was still pissed at Michael though.

****

You couldn’t believe you let your friend talk you into putting your number on the washroom stall. In your defense you were both pretty drunk and were already in the guy’s washroom (don’t remember why, but you were) and it seemed harmless enough. That was until the next night. You had been nursing your hangover all day and were not in the mood for anything but Netflix and pizza. So when your phone went off and it was an unknown number you just ignored it, until 10 more texts came in all in the span of 5 minutes. “What the hell,” you mutter to yourself, reading over the messages. They all seemed to be coming from the same guy. “Who are you and why are you bugging me while I’m trying to get over my hangover?”

“This is Calum and according to this washroom stall you’re willing to give me a good time ;)”

“Not hardly,” you text back, instantly regretting every drunken decision you made the night before. “Especially not going to give some random fuckboy a good time.”

“I take offense to that. I’m not just a fuckboy. I’m also incredibly sexy and great in bed ;) You probably couldn’t even handle me.”

You could hardly believe this was happening. Of all the people to text you because of that stupid message in that stupid washroom, it had to be THE Fuckboy Supreme. But two could play at this game. “What a cocky little fuckboy. I’m pretty sure you’re the one who couldn’t handle me.”

“Cocky, yes… Little not at all ;)”

You laughed at the ego of this boy. You didn’t want to stop texting him though. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you were having fun. “Not sure I quite believe you Calum. Sounds like you’re overcompensating for something :)”

“Well you’d have to come and find out for yourself then.”

“Is that your best line to get some poor girl to sleep with you?”

“I have more. Give it time, I’ll win you over.”

“Damn fuckboy,” you mutter to yourself.

Round one- kitchen, bathroom, laundry

I’m trying to remember to get before and after pictures on the stuff that I unfuck, but the ADD is one of the reasons I have a problem with cleaning in the first place! I almost wish that the app would prompt me to take a picture after I click the button to start the timer. Meh.

So, I started this program with a decent level of liveability in the house, courtesy of needing a little OCD to balance out the day to day stuff from the ADD. 

I’ve been using the app mostly to remind me that maintenance is great, but 20/10s are pretty useful at invisible corners too. So, today, I’m going to post the before and afters from what I’ve done this week. If I can find them. >.<

So the first invisible evil is our kitchen counters. Even I’m guilty of throwing shit up there from time to time. But mostly, the problem is my 6ft+ tall toddlers. They make messes that I can’t even reach to clean.

Yipes!

A few 20/10s later and I end up with this:

I couldn’t get a good view of the chaos from this side, but you can definitely see the epic progress.

Funny thing about this picture. I went to post the original “after” shot, to discover that the potato phone had won once again. It was horribly blurry. So this after shot is from 2 days after. Still pretty clean. Rock on.

The laundry room never gets too awfully bad. I don’t mind clutter but I have a big problem with sticky, smelly, or dirty. Spilled laundry soap is sticky and quickly gets dirty so this room always gets a going over before it gets too bad. The cabinet though… that I haven’t touched since shortly after I moved in with the boys.

no real before pictures of that little cabinet, but the amount of fuckery that came spewing out of it was amazing.

My after pictures were once again blurry, so let me go get another one of those 2 days after pics right now.

The only thing i had to remove before taking the shot was one of our laundry hamper bags. My +1 was doing his laundry and once again “forgot” to take it back. Whatever. Soon as he wakes up it’s going back. The only things to end up in this room after the official unfucking ended were the mop bucket and mop. They were on a field trip to the bathroom originally. 

That little cabinet is now very usable. The little bucket on the bottom shelf contains ½ a bar of fels naptha, the cheese grater to make it smaller with, and the measuring cup for the boxes of powders you see on its left. All my homemade laundry stuff right there. All the chemical stuff is on the newly washed grate above the dryer and is organized so everything “active” is accessible and the extras are in the back ready to go.

No pics of the bathroom in this one. It looks like a bathroom. Yay. 

Once I kill the invisible corners in there, it’ll have its pictorial debut. But know for now that everything but those corners has been deep cleaned. Washed walls and all.

Round one:

Me-1 vs Clutter- 0

Chapter 43: Mirage

Chris 

Oreo. Oreo. Oreo.

All I can think about is my Oreo and how she’s keeping it away from me. Celibacy? Really? Kae got me fucked up. Just gonna lock up my pussy like that? My Oreo? What does Kae think this is? The 1920’s? This is some bullshit.

“Chris, you want an Oreo?” Mijo asked chomping on those damn cookies.

“Hell yeah I want my motherfucking Oreo! With the cream filling and shit but no! She won’t let me having it! Locking the cookie away and talking about I need a diet! How you gonna pimp a pimp?!?!” I yelled in this nigga’s face.

Mijo had a surprised expression holding his hands up.

“What’s wrong with you, nigga? You acting like you haven’t got any in weeks!”

I sighed dropping in my chair. “Because I haven’t! Rueche hasn’t gave me any pussy!”

Ty had just walked in and heard me.

“No, no, no! My little sister is a virgin. Angel was an immaculate conception.”.

“Trust me. Kae is NOT a virgin. Her pussy-”

“Eww! Nigga stop!”

“Anyway, she wants us to be celibate and a nigga’s dying!” I groaned putting my face in my hands.

Mijo hissed as if he was in pain. “Ooh the c-word?! Damn!”

“Can y’all stop talking about my sister?! We got a mixtape to work on!” Ty spat.

We agreed he was right, and went back to work. Kae’s hosting at Greystone tonight and I’m proud of her. She’s really gone far and didn’t need my help. I got a notification on my phone and click on it. This picture of Kae leaving the club popped up.

I dropped to the ground. “Bruh.”

Bria 

External image
 

I smirked as I listened in on the boys’ conversation. So it’s official. Rue is pulling a Virgin Mary on Chris and my poor baby’s dying. Not for long, baby.

“What are you doing?”

I jumped at the sound of her voice. I turned around and was faced with Kim, Tyga’s girlfriend. She didn’t recognize me due to the fact that I’m in disguise.

“Oh hi. I’m Carla, Mr. Stevenson’s assistant.” I stuck out my hand.

“I’m Kim, his girlfriend. He didn’t tell me he was hiring an assistant.”

I rolled my eyes on the inside but I had to remain intact with my character.

“Maybe he thought it didn’t concern you.” I staed innocently twirling a brunette lock.

To make sure no one recognized me, I had changed my look. I invested hazel contacts, got a wig like Nicki Minaj but brunette, got a tan, and changed my make up.

“Oh really? He said that?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me.”

“Well, he said something about whatever goes in his career is his buisness and a bunch of other stuff. I don’t know. It was pretty loud in the strip club.”

Her eyes widened. “He went to a strip club?!”

“Yeah you didn’t know? He went to King of Diamonds and was hanging out with a girl named, I forgot her name, Blue, no not blue. Blac Chyna!” I snapped my fingers.

“Oh so he hangs out with that hoe? Oh I got something for that ass!”

Kim burst through the door and I smirked. It’s getting good.

Tyga 

External image

“Nigga what’s wrong with you?” I asked as he dropped to the ground.

“Nigga, I don’t think you realize how fucking sexy your sister is!” Chris groaned putting his hands over his face. “She’s doing this on purpose!”

“Shut up. You acting like y’all do it all the time.”

Chris blinked. “Why do you think we had to get a new couch for the studio?”

“Eww nigga what the fuck?!” I scrunched up my nose getting a flashback from the time I walked in on them. “Well, when I hit up Kae, she’s getting a massage.”

“Yeah. At the spa de Breezy!” Chris popped his collar and I hit him with a throw pillow.

“That’s fucking nasty. Talking on the phone while y’all fucking! Eww!” Mijo interjected.

“Alright, Alright, I had enough fun. Now back to work.” Chris stated getting up.

The door burst open and we all turned our attention to it.

“Michael!” Kim screamed in a rage.

Chris and Mijo began chuckling and I shot them a dirty ass look.

“Kim, can we talk in private?” I pleaded.

“You weren’t in private when you were talking shit in the strip club! You lied to me! You told me you were in the studio!” She yelled.

Damn, who told her? “Babe, I was with friends.”

“So your ex is your friend?”

“Who?”

“Don’t play dumb! You were hanging with "Blac Chyna” Kim said her name in disgust.

“Oh damn.” At that moment, I realized I was caught.

“Yep just watching her twirl around the pole naked.” She crossed her arms.

Damn why she gotta put it like that?

“Baby, I was just having fun.” I tried to defend myself.

“You don’t gotta explain. Anything you do doesn’t concerns me.” She walked out.

“Baby, come on! Let’s talk about this!” I sighed realizing she was beyond pissed

“I’m sorry. I thought she knew about the club, I swear!” Carla commented with fear in her eyes.

“It’s cool. I’m the one that fucked up.”

Carla wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. It felt weird but to spare her feelings, I hugged back.

Chris 

“Mhh isn’t this nice?” Kae looked up at me.

We were in our soft bed watching The Boondocks on the flatscreen. The room was dim and baby girl is asleep so it’s the perfect time to get it on. But no! Kae wants to “cuddle.” Don’t get me wrong, I like to cuddle when I’m not horny. Right now, I’m horny as fuck but this is the closest I’m getting to sex.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Its nice or whatever.” I mumbled still looking at the screen.

“Chris.”

“Yeah?”

“Babe, look at me.” She touched my chin making me look at her.

“What’s up?”

“Can you at least try to like this? Celibacy is good. It’s enrichment and we can be intimate with each other without sex.” Kae stated.

I sighed. “Tink Tink, I’m trying, but Oreo is too good to just lock away like that!”

Kae laughed. “You’ll be fine.”

“So what do you wanna do?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Let’s play a game.”

“A sex game?” I asked.

She hit my chest sitting up. “No. How about a word association game? I say a word, and you say what it makes you think of. We go back and forth.”

I sighed sitting up. “Aight.”

“Ok, um, cookie.”

“Oreo.”

Kae paused giving me a look.

“What? Oreo is a cookie!” I commented and she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. Red.”

“Love.” I stared in her eyes moving closer.

“Passion.”

“Touching.”

“Kissing.” She breathed as I advanced towards her lips.

“Your lips.”

My lips finally came in contact with hers and we wrestled tongues. Rolling my tongue in her mouth so passionately and my hands snuck up her t-shirt.

“Chris….” she moaned.

I planted kisses and began sucking on her tender neck. Suddenly, Angie’s cries was heard from the room. Kae quickly pushed herself away from me pulling her shirt down and wiping her lips.

“See? That’s a sign from God that we’re not supposed to have sex! I’ll go check on her.” Kae started to walk out of the room.

“No that’s a sign that Angel is a cockblocker!” I shouted after her and looked up to the sky. “Come on, God!”

I groaned getting out of bed and looking through my drawer. I pulled out the Vaseline Cocoa butter and the kleenex and opened my laptop.

“Chris, what the fuck are you doing?” Kae questioned when she came in.

I looked her up and down. “Don’t judge me. This is my alternative to Oreo.”

“Whatever. I’m going to take a shower and no, you can’t join.” Kae grabbed her towel.

“You’re always taking a shower. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were masturbating with the shower head.” I snorted.

She remained silent and I looked at her with a grin on my face.

“Oh my god! You do it!”

“Oh my god nothing! I am a Christian woman!” Kae’s face grew a bright red.

I smiled hard. “So you play with the shower head. Baby, you don’t need to do that. CJ’s all yours.”

“No! I- I mean you- and I, celibacy- and, um, Shut up!” Kae snapped grabbing her towel and headed out towards the bathroom.