i had to steal one

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

10

I am and always will be the o p t i m i s t, the hoper of far-flung h o p e s and the dreamer of improbable d r e a m s

happy 25th birthday, byun baekhyun ☆ 

no amount of words could ever encapsulate what you mean to me. i hope your day is just as special as you are, and you know that you’re wholeheartedly loved, and adored. to the brightest star this galaxy has to offer, happy birthday love. thank you for making me smile. 

A,B,C or all of Above

[4]

GUYS WE CAN SEE THE BOOKS

CLAMP HEARD ME. 

I AM UNREASONABLY EXCITED. 

Of course I can’t see a single thing but THERE ARE SYMBOLS AND THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH. 

HERE ARE SOME QUICK COMPARISON SHOTS OF THE ONES I CAN MAKE OUT. 

SO LIKE, THE SYMBOL OF WINDAM (aka Fai’s Kudan), one that might be Rayearth’s symbol (aka, Syaoran’s Kudan), Two books with suns on the spine (which aren’t the same as the spine of the Clow book, but DO look a lot like the symbol from the top of each card), a moon crescent, and a six pointed star (that doesn’t quite match the regular shape of stars they use but still). 

SO LIKE. SUPER MAGIC BOOKS, YOU KNOW? More, they all have the matching line up the top, which usually indicates that these are a series of nonfiction books, maybe even encyclopedias? 

So Fai is just casually looking right over a categorical outline of all the different types of magic in the world (and possibly, the entire multiverse) and he doesn’t even blink. 

JUST IN CASE I WASN’T EXCITED ENOUGH ABOUT THE BOOKS ALREADY. 

I’m chasing a ghost
A feeling that’s haunted me for years 
Every time I get close it’s gone

Am I living a lie?
Well, maybe I just expect too much
Maybe it’s time I try for more 

 I will tear my sky
To make it through the night
I will take back my pride
And live while I breathe, live while I breathe 

I will move the ground 
I will pull the curtains down 
Wear my fist on my sleeve
And live while I breathe, live while I breathe 

(x)

Love eyes Lester 😍

Imagine Chris stealing your favorite sweater.

A/N: Fluffer-nutter. That’s a cookie, right? Anyway, point is that this is so fluffy and cute that it’s going to warm your romantic heart and make you smile like a delicious cookie would.

You were searching through your wardrobe for your favorite gray sweater when you heard your laptop ring. You glanced over your shoulder and saw Chris’ FaceTime call and walked over to pick up before returning to the closet. It’d been weeks since you last saw it and you had no idea where you put it. You didn’t even want to wear it, you were just the kind of person who couldn’t let things go until you had a resolution. You blamed your mom for that trait because she was the same; the amount of times she’d turned the house upside down for an item she suddenly thought of but had no use for was insane.

“Morning, ba-” He stopped when he realized he couldn’t see you. “Where are you?” He chuckled and you poked your head out, giving him a wave before returning to your search. “Oh hey,” he smiled. “What are you looking for?” He laughed when he saw something fly out of the closet and land on the floor.

“My gray sweater,” you told him and Chris pressed his lips together, glancing over his shoulder at said sweater which was lying on his hotel room bed. “I don’t know where I put it and I’m trying to find it. It’s weird, it’s been weeks since I last saw it.” You decided to put a pause on the search so you could talk to Chris; you walked over to your laptop and plopped yourself on the bed in front of it. “I think the last time I wore it was at brunch with you before you left for LA, right?”

“Ooo…” His fingers played with his lips as he tried to think. “Um.” He pursed his lips, looking up at the ceiling as he continued to ponder. “I don’t know, I don’t really remember.” Your eyes narrowed at his strange behavior, but you said nothing. “Why do you need it? You’ve got a billion other sweaters in your wardrobe, just wear one of those.”

“I like my gray one.”

“I know,” he smiled, “it’s your favorite.”

It was because it was your favorite that Chris took it. He’d been out in LA for a few weeks now, and soon he’d have to leave for Vancouver to film ‘Avengers: Infinity War’. He didn’t know when he would see you next which was why he took- a few was an understatement- of your favorite items with him when he saw you last. Items included: your gray sweater, your favorite baseball cap, your most used perfume, your red knit scarf, your iPod with your favorite albums, your cat plush cushion, your mini Polaroid photo album, and your copy of your favorite book. He took all that among other things; some you knew about and some you didn’t- like your gray sweater. He probably should’ve told you he was taking it to save you the trouble of looking, but he wasn’t going to now that you’d already search half the house. He thought about it, then decided to shoot you a text later so he didn’t have to face your wrath over FaceTime.

“It’s fine, I’ll find it later.” You said and Chris huffed with relief. “Let’s talk about you, how’s things in LA? You and Mckenna look like you’re having a lot of fun.” You said, then smiled when you saw him smile at the sound of Mckenna’s name; he loved the kid as much as he loved his own niece. “I see you finally decided to show off your amazing tap skills to the world.”

“Yeah,” he couldn’t help his grin, “I just couldn’t say no to the kid.” He chuckled and you did the same, shaking your head. “Just so you know, you are definitely going to be playing bad cop when we have our own kids. I can assure you right now that our little one is going to have me wrapped around his or her finger,” he told you, laughing.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” you bit playfully. “And I’m sorry, our little one?” You quizzed and he nodded. “As in singular?” He nodded again and you narrowed your eyes with a confused smile on your face, “I thought you’ve always wanted a big family.”

“Yeah, I do,” he nodded, biting back his growing smile. “But I don’t know, I don’t want to scare you away considering I haven’t even put a ring on your finger yet.” You laughed like it was even a possibility you’d run from someone as perfect as Chris. “I know you’re not really a kid person, so- I thought I’d start slow by talking about having just one kid and see what your reaction is. So far,” he winked with a click of his tongue, “so good.”

“I already told you I’d have kids for you, Chris,” you reminded him and he nodded. “Not an unreasonable amount, but I’m more than happy to have a big family with you.” You said and he smiled. “You’re going to be an amazing dad, I can’t deprive you or any child from that. Plus- it’ll be different when the child’s mine,” you said then winced as you added, “I think.”

“It will,” he chuckled, nodding. “Don’t you worry.”

“I won’t, because you haven’t put a ring on my finger yet,” you held up your left hand and wiggled your ring finger at him; he chuckled in response. “I’m still young, but you’re not getting any younger. If you want kids, marry me, because we’re not having a child out of wedlock.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “Relax, okay? I’m working on it.”

“Tick tock, Chris,” you teased, tapping your watch-less wrist.

He dropped his gaze, laughing, which lowered his head enough to give you a view of his bed. Your eyes narrowed when you spotted your sweater lying on his bed. You scoffed, shaking your head in utter disbelief. You were very sure it was your sweater; you could recognize that gray heap anywhere considering it was your favorite gray heap. You crossed your arms over your chest as Chris looked up to meet your gaze. You shook your head at him with pursed lips and he raised an eyebrow at you. It was only when your eyes darted behind him that he realized you’d found out where your favorite gray sweater was.

“I see you found my favorite sweater,” you said and he winced. “Seriously?” You chuckled at his expression. “Are you kidding me? You took that too?” He nodded with pursed lips. “Chris! Why don’t you just pack me in your fucking luggage?”

“Believe me,” he laughed, “I would if I could.” You laughed harder at that because you knew that was one hundred percent true. “I’m sorry, I just- I need your things to make myself feel more at home.” You rolled your eyes. “You know we wouldn’t have this problem if you’d just left some of your things in the LA home, but no- you had to move it all to Boston.”

“You told me to!” You protested, laughing; Chris cracked a smile. “You’re the one who told me to move everything to Boston because you said and I quote, 'Boston’s going to be our home base when we get married. LA’s just a work space, so don’t worry about leaving your things here.’ You said that, did you not?”

“I did,” he answered monotonously.

“And now it’s my fault my things aren’t there?”

“Yes,” he nodded and you scoffed, chuckling. “It’s fine, I’ll just steal whatever I need.” He leaned back in his chair to reach for your sweater and pulled it off the bed in one swift movement, pressing it to his nose as he turned back to you. “Yup, it smells like you. Like if you were standing right in front of me,” he mumbled, breathing the perfume he’d spray on the soft material in.

“You could’ve had the same effect by spraying my perfume around the room, or on one of your own shirts, or your skin. I don’t see why you had to steal my sweater, and my favorite one too.” He just grinned cheekily, making you roll your eyes. “Oh my God,” you chuckled, “you’re such a dork.”

“That’s why you love me,” he kissed the air in front of him.

“Well, I’m glad I took this then.” You got off the bed to pick up Chris’ NASA hat that you’d taken out of his backpack before he left for the airport. He made his jaw drop as he tried not to smile; he’d saw you take it out of his bag and didn’t stop you because he wanted you to have it while he was gone. “Among other things, but hey, I won’t tell you what they are so you can spend weeks looking for said items.” You teased as you tugged the hat off, grinning the same cheeky grin. “Let’s see how you like it, Captain.”

“Well you know me, baby,” he winked. “I love games.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @captainamerica-ce @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 @buckys-shield @mylittlefandomfanfictions @breezykpop @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @hayleesteashoppe @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @louisespecter @castellandiangelo @ccrossfire @assxmblesstuff @edward-lover18 (Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)

Torn (Seth Rollins x Reader) Part 1/2

Part 2

Do not post this story without my consent (on any site or platform), under any circumstance, unless I specifically told you that you could. Thanks!

A/N: Yo. Deal with this, because I can’t. This is like angst and heartache for the sake of it, also I don’t even know who I’m rooting for anymore, but hey it’s all good. First things first: this is a fic for @nuroxic because this gurl needed it and she’s AMAZING, so, that’s that. Secondly, please note that this part contains just as much Baron Corbin as it does Seth Rollins, but fear not, the second part will be all Sethie-poo. Finally, please enjoy my feelings, and tell me how you feel, too!

Summary: Today is day one: the first day of the rest of my life. The first day of falling out of love with Seth Rollins.

Warnings: Swearing, crying, betrayal, LOVE. No but really it’s all good.

Word count: 5745

Tags: @hardcorewwetrash @littledeadrottinghood @caramara3 @i-kneel-for-king-loki @princess3733 @queenreignsempire @lisacarter2016 @stacy326 @alexahood21 @roxannaramona @littlemissava13 @drgns8er @skyereignsrollinsmain @imagineall-the-fandoms @blondekel77 @thiickreigns @m-a-t-91 @valeonmars @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @superrezzy00 @momis30 @laochbaineann @alexispoo @crossfitjesusinskinnyjeans

Laters! xx

Originally posted by vaniwin

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A guest actually managed to get me fired...

… because my boss is a coward.

I usually don’t work Saturdays. But last week I did. That’s OK though because I know Saturdays have someone else at the desk. However this particular Saturday that person was not there because my boss didn’t schedule one. So there goes my security and my assistance. There goes my stress relief because he’s my favorite coworker.

So I have a full house. A full house of one ball team and the rest are a bunch of regular customers and government trainees who are accustomed to a level of comfort my small town (and my boss… former boss… doesn’t even attempt to do by hire maintenance guys who can fix things like the mold in the fitness room or buy new weights to replace the missing ones?? People steal random things). I had three (technically 4) problem children.

One was a 3rd party where it put her in a king smoking rather than a 2 queen, nonsmoking. Room 325 who was suppose to be extended a day and was not (the the technical part is the women who I checked into that room). Then the dad and son who got me fired (the dad, not his son).

There are cameras on all 3 floors. Only 2 floors work. You read that correctly.

First hiccup was the 3rd party who I had to send to another hotel on our bill. I called my boss and told him. He was cool with it but wanted to know why I didn’t call her. 1, that’s 1st shifts job but they get a pass and 2, 3rd party only gives you a name so there is no way to call (that’s where that pass comes in). 325 didn’t get extended, again 1st shift but I wasn’t there and she could be lying but she’s nice so I’m not gonna chew her out. I told my boss I’m gonna comp the room and he can look over books in the AM because I don’t have the authorization to like my title is suppose to but does not because my boss won’t put anyone (not even assistant manager) on authorization for review. He was cool with it. Didn’t even act bothered. Said that’s what he’d do.

Then the dad and his kid…

He was mad because all we had left was a study and I would not give him a price of a standard. Of all the things my boss is cool with… that’s not one of them. Like… take it out of your check not cool with it. And that was all I heard of him. For ever. Never saw them for the rest of the night.

I have always told on myself, keep that in mind. I don’t like surprising my boss and gives him the opportunity to prep for whatever goes on. Usually things that are broken that maintenance should have fixed or someone being a fucking racist in my presence.

I get a text on SUNDAY EVENING. AFTER coming into work. It’s 3 paragraphs long of condescending, passive aggressive bullshit telling me I’m fired.

So I call him.

The guy with the kid said I cursed him and screamed at him AND his kid (who has autism) so it took him all night to comfort him. If I was not fired by the time he comes back then he was going to take this to the papers.

Even though there is footage of the opposite.

So my boss fired me. Even if there is footage to show otherwise. I have rent coming up and I live paycheck to paycheck.

Happy World Laughter Day!

In celebration of World Laughter Day, we asked librarians to share with us some of the funniest anecdotes, eavesdrops, and questions they’ve encountered in the library. Here’s what they had to say:

“A kid sees our Academy Awards display and points to the Oscar statue—‘Look Mom, C3-PO!’”

Martha Scarpati, Cedar Mill Community Library

“Many, many times we’ve had patrons forget their groceries in our branch. Every time, it includes a huge bag of milk! No one ever comes back looking for them.”

- Amy, Toronto Public Library

“I once had a patron ask me: ‘So, what do you do all day when we’re in school? Do you just read and chill?’”

- Martha Scarpati, Cedar Mill Community Library

“I was once on the reference desk when this 4 or 5-year-old child approached me and was rubbing their tummy. She said to me ‘Do you know what I am full of?’ and I looked at her and said ‘yes, blood.’ Clearly not the answer she was looking for as her bottom lip started to tremble and tears erupted as she called out for her Mother. The correct answer was: candy.”

- Cameron, Toronto Public Library 

“At one branch, a seat was stolen from a public toilet. I was both grossed out by the idea and convinced this would be my weirdest library story—until I was at another branch, where someone stole an entire toilet from the public washroom. I mean, even if you really needed a toilet—would you steal one that had been public?? I still keep trying to imagine how this one came about…”  

- Alice, Toronto Public Library 

Gif via Giphy.

:: twenty one pilots x donnie darko :: i also posted this on my twitter/instagram @nyctolust so please tag tyler and josh in it, they’re incredibly important to me and this took a long time to do so it would mean the world if they saw it, thanks friends  |-/

Creepypasta #1069: Doughnuts

Length: Medium

When I was a kid, I worked at a bakery called Blissful Bites.

It was independently run, extremely quaint, and owned by a lady called Naomi Sutton. She made all of the goods herself. Cakes, pies, pastries - she could whip up just about anything if you gave her the right ingredients. Her specialty, however, was doughnuts.

My job was running deliveries on my bike. Naomi had two other teenagers, James and Abby, running the storefront on a rota. We were banned from the kitchen due to supposed “safety hazards”, but we were all sure it was actually because Naomi thought we were thieving teens with the capacity to steal merchandise.

I’d been there a little over three weeks when Naomi’s husband disappeared.

At the time, it didn’t seem like a huge deal. There hadn’t been a struggle, or signs of foul play, or really anything in particular; according to her, he just hadn’t come home from work the prior evening. She didn’t even seem all that fussed about it.

“No point getting the police involved,” she told me, when I clocked in that morning. Despite how sensitive she got over people trespassing in the kitchen, she was a good boss, and always up for a chat if you caught her outside her domain. “Not yet, at least. He’s done this before, the bloody prick. He’ll probably show up back home tonight asking me why his dinner’s not on the table.”

But he didn’t.

Naomi was snappier and more private than usual the following day, and looked as though she hadn’t slept. Her response to James - usually her favourite - asking if she was holding up okay was a sharp, “Mind your own sodding business.”

So, given the tense atmosphere in the shop, I was more than a little grateful when Naomi emerged from the kitchen with a box for me to deliver. I hopped on my bike and rode over to the address she’d given me.

The woman who answered the door of said address - Juliet Wells, according to the card- was young and pretty, albeit rather overweight. She seemed bemused by the delivery.

“Who’s it from, then?” she said.

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