i had to keep deleting a ton

Girl Friends In Korea?

I have very few girl friends in Seoul, South Korea. Most girls and women are just passing through, and they have their own agenda. Let me tell you: It usually involves meeting Korean guys, meeting Korean celebrities … or both! Very few girls and women are here to live and work, play and slay. 

My close girl friends—I call them my three muses… 

One is from Egypt and working on a PhD in Germany. She visits Seoul often and is part of the Secret Society (where we met) and Just Music family with me. In fact, she’s much, much closer with them than I am (except for you-know-who). 

One is from Kazakhstan and working on a PhD here in Seoul. She is always with me! I plan our club activities, and she plans our cultural activities. Although, now we are starting to overlap. She even caught a Korean hip hop party I missed, the one at Club Halo with Illionaire. Anyway, we are both taking a break from partying for the rest of this month (knock on wood).

One is from Georgia and working at a marketing firm, but she wants to own a building someday. She’s my Gangnam baby (she’s the youngest muse and always in Gangnam), but these days we just aren’t feeling Gangnam anymore.

As for me, I have a law degree with a background in marketing and would like to own my own blog, brand and business—while writing my own books, of course.

So, since talk is cheap, I’ve spent the past eight months working as a freelance writer and doing odd jobs in order to have enough time to get started on MY dreams and MY desires. 

Yes, I wrote my first book. Yes, I started my blog and brand and am working on turning it into a business. I already have several potential partners, including AR/VR companies. I believe the future of music is one in which we hear, see and feel it!

I was so focused on my “dream job” when I first moved here, but I learned that I’m at my best (and happiest) when I’m my own boss. I don’t know if I will succeed or fail financially, but in my heart, body and soul I am already a success. 

I’m networking AND working with the artists I’ve always looked up to and admired, and along the way I’m meeting girls and women who ARE like me. We are all starting out really small (I have two more muses in the states, one in TX and one in FL), but that just means there is even more room for us to grow and develop … together! 

I mean, I may NEVER have a business, but I’m already content with my blog and brand. I can’t even keep up with it. I need interns, but I’d make a terrible boss. I’m too much of a perfectionist. :(

Anyway, there is just a general lack of ambition in girls and women, at least beyond a steady paycheck and a steady boyfriend, but … hey, most girls and women are the same back home (home is Austin, Texas). 

Don’t even get me started on girls and women on Instagram. I know I should take more photos of myself, but I want to show girls and women that it’s not about what you look like. It’s about what you DO.

Sure, the girls and women out here want something, but that doesn’t make them ambitious. They want attention. They want to be noticed. It starts out small, like level one, level two, level three, etc. in a video game…

Level one: Koreaboos 

Level two: Wannabe Groupies

Level three: Wannabe Thots

I say “wannabe” because ZERO sex is happening…

If you made it this far (I probably won’t delete this later), then let me tell you a secret. Well, it’s not really a secret. Jay Fart already told everyone who he sleeps with: models, idols and actresses. 

(I just call him Jay Fart … well, he knows why. You don’t need to. I have mad love and major respect for him as an artist, always have and always will. He’s my role model, but someone close to both of us gave me good advice about him. It was advice I took … for once.)

Anyway, I don’t understand why girls and women who aren’t any or all of the above make it their life’s mission to visit Korea (or move to Korea) just to sleep with a celebrity. Well, let’s face it, to sleep with a Korean idol or Korean rapper. Some of ya’ll want those Korean R&B singers, too.

Oh, duh, it’s the only way they THINK they can get attention. 

The first problem is valuing (negative) attention. The second problem is chasing it. Not all attention is bad, but attention that turns you into nothing more than a sex object, is, (in my opinion) bad.

We have Blurred Lines, and we have 물물물. But, that’s a different discussion…

I always say it, but it’ll say it again. Don’t consume junk food, and don’t consume junk media. 

I thought blogs like *cough cough* and Instagram #goals were harmless, but they’re not. There are SO many black girls and women (and girls and women in general) who believe the hype about wearing a lot of makeup and as little clothing as possible. They believe that’s all they need to succeed in life and love and hip hop (bad pun alert).

By the way, models, idols and actresses (and video girls) are successful in their own right, and that’s as appealing and attractive on a mental and spiritual level as it is on a physical and superficial level, too. 

It’s like, have you ever just stopped and asked yourself … who the f*ck are you? No, really. Who THE F*CK are you? 

What do you have to offer?

IF ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER IS SEX, THEN SOMEONE WHO CAN HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE WON’T WANT YOU!

IF ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER IS SEX, THEN SOMEONE WHO CAN HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE WON’T WANT YOU!

IF ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER IS SEX, THEN SOMEONE WHO CAN HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE WON’T WANT YOU!

Nightlife is a dangerous thing. It’s as tied up and tangled in the entertainment industry as a ball of yarn, too.

I’m 10 years and counting into going out almost every weekend (yup, even went out when I was in law school)—just read my 15 Commandments on the Instagram that I have. 

You see the light when the party’s on, but if the lights go out when the party’s over, then you’re doing it wrong. You should always shine, even if you’re not in the spotlight or at the center of attention… You should shine and sparkle and glow from within, that’s what draws people to you. If you’re dead on the inside (the loveless and dreamless always are), then… 

Anyway, after awhile, if you’re at EVERY party, especially every AOMG party (even though no one ever invites you and you don’t know anyone there except for the “friends” who came with you), then you’re making it obvious that you only want one thing: attention from oppar yours dearly madly deeply truly who will never f*ck you ever. 

You’re not drinking. You’re not dancing. You’re standing. Your shoulders are slouched. You’re staring. You look sad. You dressed up but look … down.

If Average Joe isn’t going to buy you a drink, Celebrity Joe isn’t going to buy you a drink either. And by “buy you a drink,” I mean take you out to eat, show you his studio and f*ck you in his crib.

Sex sells, until it doesn’t. We’re in Asia. Purity and innocence sells (it’s considered more attractive at a commercial level and social level), even though Korea is one of the biggest centers of prostitution IN THE WORLD. Oh, Korea. I love how ironic you are…

With that being said, if your average male here wants to have sex, then he can just pay for it. Celebrities? Wow. There’s a line, a long line. Better go to the back, but it’ll be a while … like, never.

Oh, because you’re a black girl you want to move to the front? Sorry, the blog that shall not be named lied to you (Korean beauty standards are bendable, not breakable), but more on that in a few. Okay, more than a few.

I guess it just comes down to the differences between people who have a lot of experience with sex and relationships and people who don’t have any at all. It comes down to the difference between your average Korean celebrity and your average Kpop or Korean hip hop fan. 

I’m not interested in anyone’s sex life, but it’s obvious that all kinds of “Kmusic” fans make everything sexual. It’s not sexual for your idols, Kpop or KHH or not. 

It’s work for them, more than work, really. It’s interest and passion and desire for THEIR MUSIC and THE SCENE. This is their living, but if you don’t make a living (well, if all you do is make a living and you don’t ever make your dreams come true), then it’s easy to be blind to the truth.

Look at Vasco. Even he said that he tried the LHH (Love & Hip Hop) lifestyle and ended up hating it (reference to his Hiphopplaya episode, not what he told me).

Anyway, if you can help these girls and women out here get that Celebrity D (especially KHH artist D), then they’ll do anything (I mean anything) to use you and abuse you.

Say he DOES sleep with you. He’s going to move on, keep chasing his dreams and continue to turn his passion into a profession that makes a sh*t ton of money … and even more dreams. Is that fame, success or money yours? 

Nope. 

Is HE yours? 

Nope. 

And where will you be? Who will you be? If you don’t even take yourself THAT seriously, then why would he? Why would anyone

If you’re a f*cking joke, then people will treat you like one. You’ll be canceled and deleted, especially in a small, tight-knit town or scene. I guess I’ve had practice, coming from a small town. I guess I’ve had practice, being a part of the KHH scene. 

Like anywhere in the world, it’s easier for boys and men to DISRESPECT you than it is for them to RESPECT you. You should be going out of your way to f*ck with everyone, not f*ck everyone. 

I have never hesitated to cancel and delete people. You want to get blocked on Kakao? You want to get ignored in real life? Do something stupid. Do something rude. Act like a groupie. I mean, we’re talking groupielust.com level of groupie (I love you, Bruno). Act like everyone owes you something, even though your ass is one or two years years away from being broke and back home. Act like you’re my friend when we’re total f*cking strangers (and always will be). Act like you f*cking know me because we talked twice on Tumblr.

Here’s where the real rant begins:

So many girls and women will ignore me and my friends until they see someone famous, even just semi or pseudo famous, talking to us, buying us drinks, leaving with us, etc.

Within seconds (or the next time we meet), I’m their “best friend” or “baby”. They want my KakaoTalk ID. They want to introduce me to someone I don’t even want to know, but only so I’ll introduce them to someone they actually do want to know (based on a true story).

“Let me introduce you.”

“No, I’m OK.”

“Let me introduce you!”

“I mean, who is he?” 

“He’s famous!”

*looks at this old, fat white guy like what am I supposed to do with that*

“No, he’s not my type.”

“Oh, I was just trying to give you the hook up.”

Please, don’t ever … ever … ever … be this vapid… this stupid … this shallow and superficial. Fame is not a standard with which you want to measure men. Get a new f*cking ruler.

Honestly, I don’t care what you do here, but it affects ME. That, I do care about. 

Why the rant?

Right now, my muse and I are having a bad experience with someone I met recently and really Really REALLY liked, so we are taking a break from EVERYONE in the Korean hip hop scene (knock on wood). 

And here I am, ranting on Tumblr instead of translating SMTM 6…

I mean, there are girls and women here who have been labeled as groupies. I don’t know if they know. I don’t know if they care, but don’t be a social climber. I mean, at the end of the day, that’s what it is, right? You think sleeping around will get you where you want to be. 

It’s the Korean hip hop scene! I don’t see the ladder, but good luck trying to climb it.

As for me, I like love artists, famous or not. They can be rappers, models, producers, directors, singers, DJs, painters, tattoo artists … I’ve dated them all. Still dating some… 

They’re chill, but they have their own problems, especially when they do get to that level of fame and fortune, like AOMG “and friends”. 

And so my story finally begins…

Last year we spent a lot of time at Secret Society. This year we spend a lot of time at whatever venue or club AOMG “and friends” are at, which has been eye opening. It’s a completely different crowd.

They’re surrounded by girls and women who just want to use them and abuse them, too, so they don’t open up at all. They just say the same things and do the same things, even though it’s a different night. In my mind, it’s new. In their mind, it’s the same old same … and so am I.

>>>fast forward through the secrets I’m not allowed to spill on Tumbr>>>

I probably won’t get the chance to prove to him (he’s in the “and friends” part of AOMG “and friends”), that I’m different, but I’ll try. He probably wasn’t expecting to see me at an AOMG party, with one of the AOMG groupies (against my will), being let-me-introduce-you’d to his homeboy!

>>>fast forward through the secrets I’m not allowed to spill on Tumbr>>>

I’ve never been so mad at anyone so fast, but in hindsight, my friends and I were able to understand what he did to me and why he did it to me. We don’t agree with it, but now we’re much more aware of the girls and women out here and how they can and do affect us.

It’s not that big of a deal (at the end of the day), but sometimes you really click with someone. You know, sometimes you meet a guy who really makes you feel at home … like you’re home…

It just HAD to be her, though! 

F*ck her, though. If he can’t see through me (I have no ulterior motives or bad intentions), then he’s probably not trying hard enough to see me.

Anyway, he’s the one guy I shouldn’t even have started with because of something that happened in the past with someone he works with…

*deep sigh of disaster and impending doom*

Oh, wait … deja vu… 

As for let-me-introduce-you, I don’t let girls and women take advantage of me, anymore. I’ve had it up to here since moving here. I don’t even have enough hands to count ya’ll, but you know who you are. 

By the way, most of the KHH artists come, stay and leave with Korean girls (at clubs, etc.), anyway … the really pretty, plastic kind that screams: Korean Beauty Standards FTW (For The Win). 

Honestly, this is really long. I hope no one reads this, but if you really are reading this, then don’t come to Korea just to find someone, whether he’s famous or not. Find yourself first, or you’ll always be lost.

I feel at home here with or without someone, because I’m making my home here. I have roots and relationships and reality. It’s nothing like a dream. There is nothing glamorous about what goes on in the Korean hip hop scene, but I love the music and the artists and the events, anyway.

Now, I go out a lot (as always), but I do not—I repeat, not— go out with girls or women that I am not friends with (really friends with), which means doing more than just getting dinner and drinks before a night out. Although, some of them here don’t even make an effort to do that.

Between us, my muses and I know everyone (or at least have met everyone, including GD, but that’s her sad story to tell … or not tell), and we all have horror stories (like one model who was obsessed with a very, very famous Kpop idol, or one “new-to-Korea” who ignored Jay Fart at first then practically threw herself at him when I took her to Boom Bar), but mine aren’t so bad.

I’ve actually met a lot of people and made a lot of new friends, in the simple sense of the word. I haven’t been misunderstood, except for twice at Boom Bar, which means we should either stop going to Boom Bar or stop meeting AOMG “and friends” there. The latter is most likely to happen, because we love Boom Bar! 

No one has ever thrown up, either. In fact, if anyone is throwing up or getting carried outside by a bouncer, it’s usually me … usually in Itaewon … Boom Bar gets a little Girls Gone Wild.

What is meant to be, will be, so I’m not upset about the last AOMG party. We (he and I) didn’t end the night on bad terms, either, but now I don’t know what to do with his shirt…

>>>fast forward through the secrets I’m not allowed to spill on Tumbr>>>

I love going out, but I wish I had more girl friends … more muses. My second muse is going home this weekend, and only one will remain. :(

In honor of SMTM:

2017. No new friends. / More money, less friends. / I keep learning the same lessons. / Call me stupid or call me optimistic. Just don’t call me your best friend.

My cup moon is always half full, but that doesn’t mean I have enough to fill yours up. 

I have a lot of work to do, Morrigan be with me. 

Wade Briggs and Instagram: a weird relationship

I got that Wade isn’t much into social networks and that’s fine (although it would be nice to have him on Twitter).
The thing I’ll never understand, though, is why he keeps posting SSC stills on Instagram and then deleting them few days or weeks later. He just did it with the tub scene pic and also with the previous black and white Ben’s still (that replaced the episode cap he had posted at first and then deleted). They gets tons of likes - also from Torrance who’s the only cast member who follows him back - and comments, it’s a way to talk about his tv show…if it wasn’t for a ep 2 still and a drawing you woulnd’t even see that he’s in SSC 😅
It seems, to me, like a homework for him, like every week he “has” to uncheck the list of remaining episodes by informing his followers with a still, remembering them that the following week there’s another one and then, when he assumes people got the info, he’s like ‘ok, I can delete this, I did what I had to".
WHY WADE WHY. We love you and we can’t show you that if you keep pretending you didn’t do SSC and delete Ben’s images 😔
Obviously he has every right to do whatever he wants with his Instagram profile, it’s just that I find it weird and I’d love to see him promoting his first american gig better, hoping to see him doing more in the future.

Baby Winchester part seven

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Originally posted by purkkapallo

You couldn’t sleep. You look out your window and see a meteor shower. You guess that’s what Sam wanted to show you… you hear three voices downstairs, Bobby must have someone over. You just watch the meteor shower until you fall asleep.

The next morning when Sam knocks on your door to get you up, he chuckles.

“Come on cutie, it’s time to get up. Besides there’s a surprise for you downstairs.” Sam says shaking you gently. You groan and swat at your brother. This happened every morning.

“Thought you liked Bobby’s pancakes.” Sam says. That got you out of bed. Sam laughs, you have epic bed. He pulls out his phone and takes a picture.

“Sam! You better delete that!” You say annoyed. Sam laughs and shakes his head. He then leaves your room with a laugh.

“Dammit Sammy, get your butt back here!” You say as you chase after him.

“Do you two have to chase after each other every single morning?” Bobby asks with a small smile.

“Morning Bobby.” You reply, when you pause to catch your breath.

-Dean PoV-

According to Sam, I was dead for a few months. I sit back in silence, just watching how Sam interacts with Y/N.

“Dammit Moose! It’s not that hard to delete a picture.” Y/N says, with a major annoyed tone of voice.

“You’re calling me that now? That just makes me want to keep the picture longer.” Sam replies. I’m suddenly confused, when did Y/N give Sam that nickname? I find it a bit funny, so unintentionally I laugh. Y/N apparently hears it and turns and looks at me.

-Your PoV-

You just stare at the man that had laughed for a few seconds, then realization hits like a ton of bricks.

“No way… no fudging way!” You say. “Dean!” You then basically tackle your brother in a hug. Dean gladly returns it.

“You came back.” You say softly, tears slide down your cheeks.

“Hey, it’s okay Y/N. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I promise.” Dean says as he gently rubs circles on your back. More tears slide down your cheeks.

“I missed you so much De.” You mumble. Dean doesn’t know how to respond to that. He doesn’t remember anything that happened to him while he was dead, he doesn’t know if he missed you and Sam… It’s as if someone took his memory away from him.

IF YOU THINK I’VE GIVEN UP ON SAM, WELL GUESS WHAT YOU DONT KNOW MY LOVE FOR MY SON

Okay, real talk. 

I’ve unfollowed a shit ton of people. Like I went from 38 to 25. If you were one of those please don’t take it personally. You’re all amazing I just had to do it. I had to do something to clean up this blog a bit.

I’ve also deleted a shit ton of drafts too. I still have threads with

I still plan on replying to these and queueing them before accepting any more threads. 

I’m legit doing everything I can not lose Sam. Comics haven’t held my interest since Sams run has ended. It sucks. But I’m doing my best to keep myself happy and this blog going. 

Thank you for continuing to be understanding. 

anonymous asked:

If those are from 2011, which they aren't. Show the dates by the texts if you aren't lying. Also why would you keep old texts like that from over 4 years ago? I don't believe you because when iOS7 dropped everyone had to delete tons of memory to fit it but you kept old texts from 4 years ago? No lol you're lying. Why did you fake that post for notes?

Wow sorry that you’re so fucking desperate to try and drag me for a “fake” post but you can’t understand the fucking concept that some people keep texts for years and take screenshots later.  Go waste someone else’s time