i had to i feel really bad about her loss

Care Giver Pt. 9 By: YBlack & Dscurve

 Gotta Keep em fed @dscurve

 **Dr. Janay**

    I am so tired! That little lunch-sexapade in-between all the surgeries I had worn me out! The next hour was really slow. I kept looking at Ashley who kept yawning. I wonder what was up with her. “Ashley… you okay?” She yawns again and I can see the other nurses frown up their face. “Yea, I’ve just been studying to be an R.N. and I haven’t slept well. My test is tomorrow.” I shake my head. “You should have taken off to study! Look, I’m heading out; this was an extra shift I picked up but I don’t have to stay, especially since it’s slow. I’m all caught up on my charts anyway. How about I pull some strings and get you off, follow you home and run some things by you to make sure you’re prepared. Then you turn in early ready and rested!” She smiles, “Girl if you could do that I will even order pizza!” I laugh and quickly head over to HR. I know my legal jargon just as good as my medical and get them to use her PTO citing they are purposely setting her up for failure and she could file discrimination if they don’t let her off early. I remove my coat and grab my purse and go meet Ashley. She gives me a big hug. “O you are awesome! No wonder Kelvin is so sweet on you!” I burst out laughing as we head out the door.

    I’m drum my hands on the steering wheel as I sing along with Beyoncé, “My daddy Alabama….my ma Louisiana…” Driving down the strip behind Ashley. As we enter the subdivision of her complex I see Kelvins’ car coming out of the complex parking lot as we approach it. He has a look of disdain on his face as he talks on the cell; he doesn’t even notice me. As I turn in behind Ashley I wait for her to find a spot and then park next to her. She gets out and comes around to my car, opening the door to her backseat; “Wasn’t that Kelvin? Who does he know that stays here?” I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know every detail about Kelvin. For all I know he could have a baby mama and ten kids!” She burst out laughing as she hits Pizza Hut app on her phone. “Girl what do you want on your pizza?” I pull my ponytail holder out my hair and allow my hair to fall loosely to my shoulders. A soft breeze blows against my neck as I joke, “You mean I get a whole pizza to myself? Big spender!” She laughs again as she removes a large book from her backseat. “If it’ll get me that license I’ll buy whatever you like!” She turns to me and stops short almost dropping the book. I look at her puzzled as her eyebrows narrow, her lips curl up in disgust. I follow her eyes to the dumpster as I see Marissa in a muscle shirt that only covers the top of her ass as the tank shirt dares to expose her braless nipples as she hoists a bag of trash into the bin. It is successful in exposing her shaved pussy. She doesn’t even bother to fix her shirt or pull it down as she tip toes back down the walkway and up the stairs. I turn back to Ashley, “Well if I didn’t know her I’d say she was a hoe…o wait… she is!” Ashley bursts out laughing and the book hits the ground heavily. “Girl, she has slept with every black man on the first three floors of that damn hospital! Who knows who just came out of there!” I follow her inside her apartment and turn to close the door. For a second I hesitate and I wonder, “Could Kelvin have been coming from there?” Remembering our lunch session I shake the thought from my head and lock the door.

    Ashley really knew more than she thought! After 20 minutes of drilling her with terms and facts I was impressed and sure she’d pass! Her cell chimed, “Well speak of the hoe…” I laugh as she reads her text. “Marissa just text me ‘I know you’re at work still, but check your email.’ What the hell is going on?” I shake my head as I pour another glass of wine. “I don’t know but I hope the pizza gets here soon I’m starving!” She chuckles, “Fred usually moves my order to the top and comes bring it quick.” I almost choke on my wine, “Ooooo…. Fred?” She looks up at me and raises an eyebrow, “Don’t even start with me! He’s a high school quarterback smitten with me but we are never gonna fuck!” I pretend to be enthralled in the commercial as I make a face that says, ‘sure sure’. “You don’t have to believe me! Me and my pussy have standards!” I fall back against the pillows on the sofa laughing as she pulls up her email on her laptop. “Let me see what this hoe sent.” Minutes later her face scowls as her fingers touch the pad. She’s quiet for a minute and I see her head tilt to the side as her face grows more confused. After a few minutes I become curious and mute the TV. “What?” I move over to her and watch what appears to be two people having sex. “There’s no sound? Why she send you porn?” Ashley chuckles, “Because she stupid… I think that’s her!” We burst out laughing and Ashley decides to skip through the feed stopping short of the end. We both gasp as Kelvin gets up off of Marissa and removes a condom before walking out of the frame. Marissa walks over to the camera and smiles before cutting the feed.

We sit in silence a moment. Then I suddenly scream,  “AAAAAAH! I’m so damn stupid!” Ashley slams the laptop shut and jumps off the sofa, “You should go over there right now and beat her ass!” I sit with my arms folded seething. “Fuck her.” I feel like a track star that just found out they got 2nd place and lost first by a hair. “Why would he fall for her game?” Ashley says pacing the room. We’re both confused and mad! With her fists balled tight she exclaims, “He knows she fuck every dick that crosses her path! Jesus!” I shake my head trying not to allow my heart strings to be pulled as I think to myself, ‘We don’t even know each that well… we’ve just been… saving each other lives. We’re not in love …. Right?’ Ashley walks over to me, “You know….. There’s this really hot guy that stays above me! Ooooo and that EMT guy has been asking a lot of questions about you! And that French doctor…what’s his name… Mr. Antonio… I bet he’d give you some awesome revenge sex!” I can’t help but start laughing. As my body vibrates from laughter it suddenly turns into sobs as tears stream down my face. “He’s so fucking stupid…. How the fuck am I supposed to work with these two now?!” Ashley sits on the edge of her coffee table as we have a moment of silence for my failed relationship.  “You should transfer from ER to NICU but only if you can stomach losing kids. But…then you’d never see him.” I ponder Ashley’s idea for a moment. “That’s what I’m going to fucking do. I don’t have time for a fucking battle of pussies. She fucking wins.”  

**2 weeks later**

    I haven’t given any audience to Kelvin since seeing the video. I haven’t even listened to the numerous voicemails and refuse to open the door. Ashley was right, security was so strict in NICU he couldn’t even come talk to me! The supervisors there didn’t lax on the rules for nobody! Ashley even passed her RN test! After listening to so many of my success stories she now wants to keep going and get certified for this floor! If only my expertise worked in my love life.

**Dr. Kelvin**

It’s been weeks since the package had been delivered and I got that text from Janay. I mean, I gotten that text and responded, but I hadn’t heard from or seen her since. After about two days I knew exactly what it was about. I’d fucked up and she found out. Marissa’s big mouth probably had the hospital halls buzzing with tea. I could strangle her, no lie but in the end I only had myself to blame.  Deciding not to even bother I took my loss like a G. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t feeling it. It hurt bad, and even though Janay and I weren’t in a relationship per say. It had really started to shape up to be one. The physical therapy visits had become mundane, and my evenings lack luster. You ever feel your smile fade? Well I felt mine fade, and rather quickly at that. Anger began to swell with in me.  Apart of me wanted to reach out so bad but I knew that wouldn’t be the best move. So I sulked for another month.  My visits to the hospital became less frequent as I no longer had much reason to show face. I wanted to avoid Janay, I was too embarrassed to face her. Even though she had been swindled by the same woman I should have known better. I too wanted to avoid Marissa, hell she had been texting and calling since that fateful night and I really wasn’t trying to hear anything her creep ass had to say.

At this point, I was about a week shy of being ready to return to work. I had already applied Regional West Medical Center, which was about 20 miles north. I was in hopes I didn’t have to return to Carter Trauma, but things didn’t happen to fall in my favor. Shit, seems like everything as of late had been going left for me. The day came and I dreadfully moseyed through the hospital doors. I felt like all eyes were on me from the patients, to visitors, and staff.  You couldn’t tell me my dirty laundry wasn’t aired out through this place. I only other time I felt like this was when we used to hit the highway back in those days. When we had shit stuffed all throughout the whip.  I made it in to my office and just kind of hid there. I got caught up on a mountain of emails. I didn’t care to see another face to be honest. All I could think about was how she was by my side after I had been shot and possibly having to face her after the shit that went down.

Taking a break just gazed out of my 6 floor office window, it was lunchtime but I had no appetite. That was my routine for three days in a row. On day three at that lunch hour when I again found myself gazing out of the window thinking of the dope game and what used to be my life. My thought process was interrupted by a knock on my door. “Come in.” I said after clearing my throat.

“Hey man, glad to see you back. I heard you were back, had to see for myself.” I hadn’t seen Allen n months we greeted with a firm hand shake. “I’m glad you bounced back man. That whole situation that went down was crazy. I’d still be scared for my life. You not the least bit scared man?” I chuckled at his question. If he only knew who I was. “Naw man I’m not.  Everything happens for a reason and karma is a real bitch. I’m sure they will get what’s coming to them in time.” I tried to conceal the sick grin I had by turning back to the window for a sec. “Man I heard about the other drama to man.” Allen continued. “I heard the new chick transferred out to NICU. How did you get yourself in that mess?” “Man you know, a man gon’ be a man and make dumb ass decisions. I made a real dumb ass decision. No other way to put it.” I continued to stare out of the window. “Damn bro, I guess it’s like that from time to time. But the video was tight though, looked like you fucked the shit out of her ass.” My face must have shown my anger. Allen quickly tried to get out of dodge. “Hey man I just wanted to stop by and check on you. I know you still are getting acclimated I won’t keep you.” We shook hands and he headed out as quickly as he had peeked his head in. I was fuming for a good 10 minutes about what I had just heard. I played the whole scene out in my head all over again. Marissa had recorded us that day in her apartment. That dirty bitch. I was seething with anger. I had to calm myself down and remember I was at work. I couldn’t believe this shit was, well had happened to me. I was liable to slap that hoe on sight.

I jumped back into focus, as I was overseeing an operation later this afternoon. I’d be venturing out of my office and I really wasn’t looking forward to the awkward gawking. I spent the next several hours going over the procedure taking place and the CT scans that were with the chart.  The procedure was relatively routine and with the right amount of expertise should go well.

Six and half hours later I exit the OR having witness an extreme turn of events. The patient seemed to have had so kind of allergic reaction to the anesthesia administered pre-op. We fought tirelessly but the patient continuously ceased, and went into cardiac arrest. I hated losing patients with a passion but I guess it comes with the territory. I headed back to my office to draw up a report as to my take on things before I headed out. It was around 9 before I was able to lock up the office and head to the elevator. As I entered Ashley, one of the newer nurses was already on. “Good evening.” I said casually. “Hmph.” Was all she did as she turned her face up at me. We rode to the first floor in silence. “Take it easy” I said as the doors opened and I stepped out.  I turned left towards the garage and damn near ran Janay over. We made eye contact and I paused. I didn’t know whether to hug her or what. I could see the anguish in her eyes. It hurt me to see her hurt. “I’m sorry” I brushed by her swiftly and continued on my way. There was so much more to be said but I couldn’t, well wouldn’t allow myself to do so. I didn’t want make her relive that moment. I hustled all the way to my truck only to realize I left my car key in my desk drawer. I turned back around and headed back in. My mind was in a complete head spin when headlights blinded me and tried to jump out of the way as the car came to a screeching halt. The door flies open, I throw my hand up in apology before I realize it was Janay that jumped out. She rushed up and slapped be good across my cheek. When she came back again I caught her wrist in my hand. “Listen I don’t aim to be a problem for you.” I released her hand and turned back towards the hospital doors. “I know you don’t, that’s why you haven’t been up to NICU, called, looked for me or anything.” I stopped as she talked. “You don’t give a damn, never gave a damn. You were just out for you. And here I was tending to you, only for you to fuck that bitch, at the first chance you got. I saw you leave her house Kelvin.” My heart sank, the wound just kept getting opened deeper and deeper. “You ain’t shit Kelvin…” she sobbed. “I know Janay” I said still facing opposite her. I continued walking. “Talk to me damn it!” she yelled at me. I didn’t stop walking though. I made it to the elevator and punched 6.  As the doors closed a hand shot through the doors. I found myself staring face to face with the woman I hurt.

I really liked Mr. Greg because I feel like it was the first time Greg really got to mourn the loss of Rose. Like, Rose gave up her physical form, and Greg had to take care of his newborn. He wouldn’t have had time to properly say goodbye to his wife. Then Steven grew up, but Greg still couldn’t mourn because it would’ve made Steven feel bad for taking his mom away from his dad. He probably couldn’t talk to anyone about his wife’s “death” until Mr. Greg. And then it was with someone who was going through the exact same emotions he was. Idk I just feel like this episode really helped Greg get some weight of his shoulders.

anonymous asked:

Heather you're awesome. Do you think Emily is a bad person for loving Alison right now or just blinded? What do you think is going on in the mind of Emily? I also don't ship Emison.

No, I think Emily is the best person. I think she loves Ali in a true, deep way that is complicated beyond anything we can imagine. Emily loved her.  She was murdered. And so Emily had to deal with that loss without ever having any closure about whether or not Ali actually had feelings for her, and then Ali wasn’t really dead at all, so all of those questions about whether Ali was for real mixed with all those emotions about her really being alive mixed with the sheer terror Emily must feel anytime anyone she loves leaves the house because they all get smacked in the face with a rock and buried in Spencer’s backyard in the end. It makes TOTAL sense to me how Emily is acting. It just gives me the heebies because I don’t trust Ali farther than Aria could throw a Godzilla. 

I do think the way Emily has treated Paige has been pretty shitty, though. Well. Super shitty really. I can’t decide if she even deserves Paige anymore. 

wordstoshareblr replied to your post: im having writers block and need a kor…

I haven’t had time to write this idea myself… After Korra’s fight with Zaheer, Asami attempts to cheer her up by practicing her bending formations for her, at the Avatar’s direction, promising to do anything she directs her to do.

Is this close enough? :D

Asami sat on the bench next to Korra’s wheelchair as they both gazed out at the city. The day was warm and sunny and Korra was in a better mood than she had been lately, which prompted Asami to make Korra go outside with her in the first place. She had been trying to get Korra to stop isolating herself and it was mostly a fruitless effort, but today she actually managed to get her to come, if only somewhat voluntarily.

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