i had to go through some shit to find that pencil

bad | 05

 He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by 7bboys

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader

GENRE: future smut, romance, fluff, badboy!jungkook

WORDS: 7 159

WARNINGS: mature themes, language

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08coming soon ↠ 

A/N: I hope ya’ll have fun reading this. hopefully it quenches some thirst- what? fucken not today teaser got me shook as fuck, I screamed out loud! and thank you so much for all the sweet messages <3 sry for taking so long

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Hopeless Hearts

Drabbles

jessicamarcia requested: Jungkook + Idol/Fan AU 
Pairing: Jungkook | Reader
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 17,378
Author’s Note: Tbh I had some apprehension about this request because an idea I stumbled upon that just kept coming back to me was directly from this fantasy I kept about having about what would happen if I ever meet Jungkook and how and this just feels very personal to me as a result. Regardless, I decided to share because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t decide to contribute my pain to the fandom.

ALSO, sentences in italics are being spoken in Korean.

Summary: You never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkook—quite literally too.

.

Sometimes you think you have a lot of mixed feelings when it comes to your job.

On one hand, it’s a pretty incredible opportunity, one that you acknowledge not a lot of people get to experience first hand: which is working as an intern in the event operations department for Kcon—the annual Korean convention in which big Kpop groups will travel around the world to bring their music and their joy to the international fanbase. For someone who never actually had the means and the ability to make the trip as an audience member of your own accord, it’s fascinating to witness the back-the-scenes sight of how much effort and how much time goes into planning and organizing an event of this scale.

And because Kcon it in of itself is half a convention and half a concert, there were always many people needed to cover the different subsections of the event, which is where your role as an intern came into play. Given that there were two interns in the department of organizing the physicality of the event, you were put on the team mainly in charge of organizing the convention while the other intern assisted with scheduling of the talents and making sure the performances would go by smoothly.

But on the other end of that spectrum, working with vendors really allows you to see how many people handle responsibility and deadlines and it makes you want to pull the hair out of your roots. You like to think of yourself as a fairly reasonable person, giving a vendor 24 hours to respond to emails at the latest before having to resort to more emails and phone call—but this is absolutely ridiculous.

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Bygones of the Sun | 03 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 7.8k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04

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cute couple things — p.p.

summary : extended dating peter would include… ft. a bunch of random thoughts i had about peter being a cute soft boyfriend !!!

  • reads your favorite books and memorizes lines from them that he can sneak into conversations to make you smile :)
  • it’s v hard for him to not look at you when he’s with you he just always wants to be looking at your face
    • “it’s, like, really hard to stop staring at you”
    • “huh?”
    • “you’re so pretty i can’t stop looking wow”
  • lights up !!!! when you walk into a room even if he’s just seen you two minutes ago and you were only in the bathroom for like a second
  • kisses you all of your face whenever he can just infinite amounts of kisses pressed across your cheeks and your nose and your eyelids 
  • he doesn’t really do nicknames like he’s not a darling sort of person
  • if he’s gonna call you anything it’ll probably be babe/baby/pretty girl or something of that sort
  •  (i started the pretty girl trend on the low don’t @ me)
  • sometimes you call him bro and he gets so offended 
    • “listen,,, peter,,, bro,,,,”
    • y/NNNN i’m not bro!!!!!!”
    • “k bro”
    • “you’re the worst” 
  • his face resembles that of a disgruntled pouty kitten whenever you call him bro
  • in school he taps his cheek lightly while facing away from you until you give him a kiss there and does that periodically throughout the day until MJ throws a pencil at him
    • “peter enough she’s kissed you like fifty times in the past twenty minutes haven’t you had enough”
    • “it’s never enough”
  • hands down gives the best hugs ever!!!! sweetest, softest, warmest hugs that you never wanna leave and they leave you a blushy mess for hours
  • nerd who tells you that you’re prettier than any star in the sky
  • will fight for your honor even if it means getting punched in the nose by one of flash’s bigger friends because flash won’t take on peter himself
    • “fuck peter why would you even call flash a giant dick??? like i know he is one but why would you ever you know his friend is like some sort of mutant tree”
    • “he said your butt was nice i can’t just let that sort of comment slide babe it’s unacceptable”
  • always knows he can rant to you about science bc you actually listen!!! and you care!! and you ask questions and you make him SO HAPPy!!
  • asks for permission to do everything
    • “hey would it be cool if i held your hand right now”
    • “yes of course”
    • “oh awesome!”
  • you send him selfies and his replies vary but they’re usually along the lines of
    • “oh my gosh you’re so cute i’m coming over”
    • “i love you you angel let me kiss you tomorrow”
    • “wow i have a real liFE ethereal as the love of my life i love the world”
  • sends a goodnight/goodmorning text every day with each heart emoji he can find 
  • his entire recently used section is just different colored hearts and rainbows and sparkles because he uses emojis obnoxiously
  • he’s convinced that the worst thing in the world is having to leave you after a long day of hanging out on a saturday or something
  • will 10/10 complain for hours to may about going home because he’s not with you anymore and he’s clingy
  • you’re his best friend and he’s not afraid to scream about it
    • “my best friend is dating me!!!!!!! i’m so lucky i love them so much” 
    • “peter we know”
    • “well now you know just a little extra all right?”
  • wishes you were able to fall asleep in his arms more often but you’re still young and he’s like oh well we have forever to do that
  • you insult each other all the time basically but??? you both love it banter is everything
      • “penis parKER flash is clever tbh”
      • “you’re such a little shit i’m actually going to fight you”
      • “seriously i dare you put your fists up now”
  • if you post a selfie and he doesn’t like it right away you’ll text him seven times in a row hinting that he should go like and comment 
  • texts at four am about random conspiracy theories or weird facts that only you two would find interesting 
  • shoulders = pillows on the train/bus most of the time
  • he is such a slut for having his hair played with ngl
  • it makes him so happy n calm he could lie like that, with your fingers just raking through his hair, for hours on end
  • he’s never felt more at home than when you’re sitting with him at his kitchen table eating mushy mac and cheese that he tried to make himself because may wasn’t home to help him out as you playfully make fun of him for ruining pasta
  • listens to ed sheeran songs with you because he’s an ed lover honestly and every song makes him think of you
  • hand massages when you’re cramping up after long tests or in class essays that leave you super stressed n anxious (fuck u ruby thx for the idea that murdered me n my soft spirit)
  • knows how to settle you nerves better than anyone else and vice versa
  • puts his hands on your cheeks before he kisses you 
  • you always joke about spidey in class and no one gets what you’re saying but he does and freaks out
    • “that’s a sticky situation”
    • “y/n” 
    • “don’t worry i found that on the web
    • y/n
    • “do you think spiders are men
    • “oh my gOD”
  • he doesn’t care at all if you take one of his sweaters or all of his sweaters he just gives zero fucks you could take them all and he’d love you for it 
    • “here take this one too”
    • “peter i have too many and it’s almost april”
    • “but you’d look so cute in this one” then he pouts and you’re a goner
  • peter writes you tiny notes in class that are his weird thoughts and ramblings and feelings but you save them all and put them in a memory box
    • there was one and it said here’s a concept : you have a bright future ahead of you, and i’m there. i like that concept.
      • you did, too
  • watches every cheesy romantic movie on netflix with you not just because you want to, but because he does too and he can’t help it that’s just how it is 
  • matching ugly christmas sweaters at christmastime because peter parker is an annoying headass and refuseS to go anywhere without one during the holiday season and if he’s wearing one he’s making you match
  • super spidey strength allows him to give you piggy back rides all throughout manhattan when you guys head to the city 
  • makes you kiss him in the rain even though there’s water up your nose and your hair is matted to your forehead 
  • one text makes your heart go !!!!!!!!! because that’s your boy!!!!! and you love him so much because he’s a lovely beautiful person that deserves the world !!!!!
  • making out is rarely super fast n intense like it’s still intense but you go slowly and you can make out for hours without a c are in the world
  • makes sure his hair looks nice before he goes out on a date with you
  • tells you that he loves you and that he’s happy you’re a part of his life as often as he can manage 
  • just wants to love you unconditionally forever
  • texts you at 11:11 every night and says something cheesy as fuck like “you’re my wish tonight babe” or “11:11 is always for you” and sometimes he’ll @ you on snap and you’re like wow we’re That couple 
  • but honestly???? you don’t care that much he’s so cute
  • knows your order at every restaurant/fast food chain/coffee shop imaginable and if he happens to pass by a mcdonalds or dunkin donuts while he’s swinging around queens he tries to pick something up for you 
  • you love his eyes you could probably get lost in them they’re gorgeous
    • “peter your eyes are so lovely i hate you”
    • “aw i love you more babe you say the sweetest things to me”
  • you think his smile is the prettiest thing ever
  • and when his face scrunches up when he’s super happY???? amazing you kiss him immediately everywhere and he gets so flustered and he giggles and tries to squirm away but not really
  • cause he loves it
  • and he loveS YOU
  • i love my boyfriend goodnight to all

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wanting

(gif credit to @gif-ts)

summary: spencer has a thing for you, a thing that often leaves him sexually frustrated. he takes matters into his own hands (literally).

words: 1367

warnings: pure fuckin smut y'all, masturbation, lots of swearing, etc.

a/n: TODAY IS MY 18th BIRTHDAY AND THIS IS HOW I’M CELEBRATING, BY POSTING MY FIRST SMUT. this is for mish( @spencerdamnreid)‘s challenge. my prompt was “oops you caught me masturbating, how bout we have sex instead?”. this can have a part 2 if y'all so desire. is this terrible? idk I wrote it in the middle of the night so let me know what you think.

read the sequel here

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The Ink of My Heart

Summary: Prompt 51 for @rotisserierogers ‘s writing challenge: A tattoo artist gives clients tattoos that determine their fate 

Pairing: Tattoo Artist/Alchemist!Bucky x Reader 

Word Count: 2824 Words

Warnings: Fluff, angst in the form of physical pain and being scared

Notes: This is pretty cute, but I’m so sleepy that I dunno anymore ahaha, sorry this is late Kumi!

Permanent Tags are OPEN | masterlist

Originally posted by winter-barnes

“Nattie, I’m fucking terrified. Is this even legal?” You’re gripping her hand so tight that you’re sure that you’re crushing her bones.

She gives you a withering look, before pulling up her sleeve. “It works, every time, guaranteed. Look at mine. Perfectly passive, and it’s gotten me my dream job and boyfriend.”

Your eyes linger over the highly detailed tattoo on her bicep, before looking back up at her. “You sure that this guy won’t use his…tattoo powers to murder me?”

She snorts, leaning against the brick wall. “He’s not allowed to do that, he doesn’t know what he’s casting but they can’t involve death or illness. Well…maybe illness, but there’ll be a good outcome. He sort of has a selection of objects, and you choose them, and they’re meant to influence your tattoo’s meaning. People don’t know what they’re getting, but in the end, it’ll be something that they’ve wanted for a while.”

“Do you know how sketchy that sounds?” You cross your arms, heart running wild with panic and oh shit this is a horrible idea isn’t it-

“Shut up, you’ll be fine,” Nat snatches your hand and marches you towards the door of the building, “you can’t miss your designated appointment, he stores his magic up for each client.”

“So what is he? A wizard? Like, from Harry Potter?” The bell tinkles as you enter the waiting room area. You take a brief look around, taking in the modern interior, with succulents on benches and plant pots dangling from the ceilings. There’s nothing ‘magic’ to this, what with fluffy blankets on the arms of the sofas, and industrial light bulbs casting a glow over the room.

“I’d prefer the word ‘alchemist,’ but you can call me a wizard if you want.” A voice says behind you, and you shriek, whipping around instantly.

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His || Jungkook || 0.6

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6

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Into You [Side to Side Pt. 2]

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Request(s)(Ooh boy here we go):

  • Wow! I loved your Peter Parker imagine. Pleeaaassseee do more of those because damnnnn
  • side to side is soo perfect akhjjkfjkas im in love pls write another part
  • Park 2 for side to side?
  • Can I please get a continuation to side to side. Please!!! I loved it, could it be the smutty continuation please ❤️ Love your writing BTW

Word Count: 3148… I got carried away with this… Sorry/not sorry

Song: Gee I wonder… Into You by Ariana Grande

Summary: You and Peter work out what happened at the gym in the most sinful way possible… by doing it again. Only this time, you get it right.

Warnings: Sinsinsinsinsin, swearing, oral (both receiving), creepy Flash, idk if there are any warnings that aren’t smut related tbh

Author’s Note: I need to specify apparently, both Peter and the reader are the same age. Nothing illegal is happening in this, don’t hate on me. ALSO! This is my first smut ever. Pass me some holy water, y’all this is some spicy shit.

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biology notes (1).

Originally posted by mistress-gif

Welcome to the Four Horsemen collab fic! Each of us will be writing and posting parts of this story, but you never know who is going to post the next part, so keep your eyes peeled on all of our blogs!

Dot: @stevesdacre

Emma: @hairringtonsteve

Lidi: @letmeletmetrashyourlove

Rachael: @dacrethehalls

PART ONE (this one!)

PART TWO (tba)

PART THREE (tba)

PART FOUR (tba)


billy hargrove x reader & steve harrington x reader 

fic summary: the reader is the new girl at hawkins, and let’s just say that she ends up catching the eye of a few boys in school. 

word count: 1, 773

a/n: so, surprise! this is going to be an interesting fic, because we’ve all agreed that no one actually knows what’s going to happen. the only person that’s read this is @stevesdacre because she edited it. lidi and rachael have no idea what’s going to happen, and only the person writing it controls what happens next. so i’ve got no idea what’s going to happen from here on out! be sure to follow everyone else because it’s a surprise as to who’s going to post next - and honestly i’m the worst at remembering this stuff. rachael and lidi have harassed me like 20 times bc i keep asking questions.


“There’s nothing to worry about. Everything’s going to be the exact same.”

Mom kept saying that over and over again as we packed up the car and drove from Antioch, California to our new home in Hawkins. It had been three days of reassurances that everything would be fine, that Christmas would be the same, and that nothing would change. Which was fine and dandy, except for the fact that I was stuck with explaining to Matty that yes, Santa would find us despite us moving so close to Christmas, and no, he wouldn’t get coal for whispering fuck as we pulled away from the only home we’d ever known.

I was also stuck with the honor of getting Matty ready for school, which meant waking up a half hour early and rooting through the closet for something that would suffice for the freezing temperatures of Hawkins.

I ended up having to feed the kid breakfast too, which had been an issue all on its own. The worst, though, was getting this kid ready for the bus.

“Do you think Dad will be here soon?” Matty asked me, looking up at me with his big, brown eyes. I held out his coat and motioned for him to shove his arms through. Neither of our coats were very thick, but they did the trick for the most part.

“Mom said he just needed to finish up at work, remember?” My stomach twisted at the sidestepping, but Matty didn’t know about the heated, whispered conversations at two in the morning, or how Dad hadn’t actually slept in the house for two weeks. “Everything’s going to the same, trust me.”

I was going to throw up.

“You’re sure that Santa will find us, right? Did you send him the new address?” 

“Of course I did. I’m not stupid. One of the elves called last night and said we didn’t even have to do that. They keep tabs on all the first graders.”

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Hockey Pucks | Jungkook (m)

Prompt: Um, Jungkook is a hockey player, but basically what happened was that it had very little to do with hockey and very much to do with sex. You’re both college students and apparently opposites really do attract just like they do in the movies.

Warnings: (18+) use of marijuana, smut (lmao what’s new), and an accidental mommy kink

Word Count: 8.4k

A/N: Yo, this spiraled very quickly and turned into a monster long fic. ANYWAy thanks 4 readin. No excuses or regerts…

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid


Originally posted by tanktoptiger


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{PART 2} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut 

Summary; You’ve entered Jungkooks’ house, but will you be able to leave in one piece?

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3}

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time)

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veritatem inquirendam [seek the truth] (frank castle)

(gif source)

(original request: AU in which Frank is younger, and he and reader are college students. There’s a heated debate in class and everyone disagrees with Frank except the reader. After that, Frank starts paying more attention to the reader and hanging out with her after class, until he realizes he’s falling in love but she has no idea he is until her best friend tells her.)

(this is terrible i LOVE college frank i love this soft soft boy. what a nerd. i hate him. no warnings on this one except mentions of food and some sexism early in the story!!!)

(tagslist: @doct0rstrange, @caryled, @kurtwxgners, @atari-writes ! if i’ve forgotten you or you wanna be added to the tagslist, just send me a message!!! <3)


The professor is wrong. She knows it, but she can’t say it. You can’t say “you’re fucking wrong” in front of a classroom of fourty kids. Instead of speaking her mind, she bites her tongue and clicks the cap of her pen up and down, up and down, trying to tune out the professor’s voice.

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Sit Still--Imagine #20

Anonymous said: Crush sits cross legged on floor while the reader draws him and he has to stay still and it’s all cute and stuf!

A/N: Again, I apologize for all these imagines being written so late. I hope the people that requested awhile ago see theirs! Thank you all for requesting! Right now my ask box is closed and I’m not taking anymore requests until I get the old requests written. This is just one of many on the way. Keep dreaming!~Logan <3


Sighing again, I erased the same line I’d drawn at least 300 times now. 

“C/n!” I almost shouted, exasperated. 

“What?!” C/n asked, startled by my outburst since it’d been quiet in my room for awhile now. 

“Can you please sit still? I’ve been trying to draw your jaw and ear for the past, like, 30 minutes and every time I think I’ve got it down or am close to getting it down, you squirm and I have to start all over again!”

“Sorry, y/n! It’s just hard to sit in this position for so looonnggg,” he said, dragging out the last word. 

I let out a frustrated growl and he smirked. 

“Well, what position do you prefer?” I rubbed my temples in frustration. 

I swear, I loved this boy but he sure knew how to test my patience. 

“Mm, missionary, to be honest,” he shrugged, his face devoid of emotion like it always was right before he cracked up at his own joke. 

“Ugghh, fuck you!” I whacked him in the arm with my sketchpad, his shoulders shaking as he roared with laughter. 

He could be so immature sometimes. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love his immature sense of humor. 

“I wish you would,” he smirked, eyes shining with mirth.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute,” I grumbled, crossing my arms and glaring at him. 

“Why?” He asked, sporting a shit-eating grin.

“Because if you weren’t I’d be using this pencil to stab you, instead of using it to draw your stupid cute face.”

“Oh my god, am I your muse?” He asked dramatically

“No, you’re my pain in the ass,” I rolled my eyes. 

He gasped, clutching his chest dramatically, “She called me her pain in the ass.”

“Alright, Romeo, calm down. Now can you please sit still?” 

“Only if I can sit on the floor, cross-legged,” he said, smoothing his clothes. 

“Anything to get you to sit still,” I said, moving off the chair I was sitting on, to plop myself on my floor. 

He stepped off the stool I’d sat him in originally and sat cross-legged in front of me. He turned his head to the side like he’d had it before, clenching his jaw. 

I dragged my eyes away from the delicious site of his side profile to sketch it more accurately. A few minutes had passed, the only sound in the room was some relaxing music I’d put on low, the sound of lead scratching over paper, and our soft breaths. I had moved on to drawing c/n’s broad shoulders, trying to get the shading and outline right when c/n’s voice broke the silence. 

“I never asked you what your project was for, y/n.”

I almost dropped my pencil, leaving a crooked line that I quickly erased.

“It’s a drawing project,” I said, trying to avoid answering truthfully. 

“No shit, Sherlock,” out of the corner of my eyes I could see a smirk on his face before he went back to talking. “I mean, why’d you pick me for it? Every assignment you’ve gotten so far in your drawing class has come with some prompt. Some reason behind why you’re drawing the thing.”

I pretended not to hear him, pretended I was too engrossed in shading the wrinkles of his loose hoodie. 

“Y/nnn,” he dragged out my name in a taunting way. 

My cheeks heated up and I bit my lip. There was no way he was going to drop the subject. He knew when he was getting under my skin. 

I huffed before mumbling, “I’m supposed to draw someone…that–umm–that…”

“That?” He asked, his voice gentle, coaxing me. 

“That I–basically a person–well someone…someoneIadmire,” I blurted, the words coming out slurred into one. 

I had finished drawing his hoodie and realized that the line of his upper lip hadn’t come out right. Trying to distract myself from the fact I’d basically revealed my true feelings for him, I looked up to study his lips only to find his wide eyes staring back at me. 

“I have to get your lips right,” I said, my voice sounding strained. 

Feeling awkward under his unwavering stare, I cleared my throat. He wasn’t turning his head back to the original position so I decided to take control. I shuffled forward on my knees so I was close enough, and reached a finger out. Slowly, my finger glided over the curve of his jaw and I heard his breathing shallow. I applied slight pressure as my finger reached the side of his chin. He obediently moved his head to the side. I let my finger linger on his skin a moment longer than necessary before pulling away and settling back in my original place to start again on drawing his lips. 

It seemed that my words had sent c/n into a strange kind of trance and anxiety settled in my stomach. 

My tongue stuck out as I tried to re-shape his lips on my paper. I looked up again to find c/n had moved his head to stare at me again. 

“On second thought maybe I should’ve chosen someone else. You can’t seem to keep your neck turned,” I chuckled softly, finding his antics more cute than annoying like I liked to act they were. 

“Sorry, it’s just hard to resist looking at you for even a little bit,” he mumbled, turning his head again. 

I frowned, wondering where my confident, snarky boy c/n had gone and how a shy boy with flushed cheeks had come to take his place. 

My own cheeks flushed at his confession, but I tried not to take it to heart. He couldn’t possibly like observing me, staring at me. 

“It’s alright, but just try to hold your head in place for just a little longer. Lips have always been tricky for me to draw and yours are giving me an especially hard time,” I chuckled, trying to lighten the tension in the room. 

“Maybe you should kiss them,” he suggested and I dropped my pencil my eyes flying up to look at him. 

Of course, of all times he chose this one to keep his head turned away from mine. Still, I could see the edge of his lips quirk up a bit in one of those rare smiles that he gave when he felt equal parts shy and equal parts bold. 

“And just what do you expect that will do in helping me with drawing them, hm, c/n?” I asked, crossing my arms. 

“If you can feel the grooves of my lips, you might find it easier to draw them. Drawing may be all about observing visually, but I think it benefits you when you observe sensuously as well,” he said.

I just sat there, my head fighting between what I desired and what I logically knew to be smart to do. 

“What harm could it do, y/n?”

I breathed deep. He was right. What harm could it really do? A million answers to that question ran through my mind but I focused on him instead. The delicious way his lips were frozen in that soft grin, the adorable bend of his nose, the way his eyelashes curled just the slightest at the ends. 

I moved to sit in front of him, his head still frozen in his pose. Finally, our eyes met. His were adoring and in awe, gliding over my face, drinking me in. I moved in, slowly, until my lips were just brushing against his. Internally, I was screaming, shouting for joy, and laughing giddily but externally all that I could do before I pressed my lips completely to his was let out a weak breath. 

What registered first was the slightly chapped texture of his lips, and then the softness of them underneath that. And finally, the fact that he was not pressing back into mine.

Pulling back abruptly, and overcome with embarrassment, I looked him in the eyes. 

“Why–why didn’t you kiss me back?” I asked, my confusion quickly turning into panic. 

“Because you told me to stay still,” he answered, eyes dancing with mischief, his breath shallow which told me I wasn’t the only one affected by what I’d just done.

Shaking my head, I let out a breathy laugh while rolling my eyes playfully. That’s when he gently placed his hands on either sides of my cheeks and pulled me in for the sweetest kiss. 

As we pulled back and regained our breath, I giggled, “You may be the worst model ever, but you’re the best damn kisser.”

“Well, then you’ve gotta keep me around. Especially if you plan on drawing any more pictures of me and need more help with…observing…my lips,” he chuckled.

“Oh, I’m keep you right where you are,” I laughed, before he pulled me in for another kiss. 

sketches [ cm x r ]

Originally posted by evans-hansen

fandom : Dear Evan Hansen

by : Victoire

pairing : Connor Murphy x Reader

summary : In which you are a gifted artist & Connor just so happens to be your unsuspecting muse.

word count : 4,519

warnings : Swearing

a / n : Here we are! I’m beyond excited to be sharing my first fic with you. I’ve recently gotten into DEH & really explored the characters as people, so I do hope the way I write Connor is enough for you! I had my ups & downs while writing this, but the result did prove successful.

Oh, & make sure to see if you can catch a hidden If I Could Tell Her reference in the fic! *winky face* I would love you for the rest of my days if you all could leave a like or maybe reblog! Feedback & constructive criticism are always welcome.


Biting your lip in concentration, your eyes carefully studied the sharp but somehow soft lines of his face. He was sitting diagonally in front of you, with a perfect view of his profile.

Why would you be drawing the infamous Connor Murphy in the middle of a calculus class, you ask? Honestly, you didn’t even have a valid reason except for the fact that he was absolutely beautiful.

His was a unique kind of beauty, dark & harsh & in all ways mysterious, but at the same time there was a sort of lightness to it, fragile & delicate.

It puzzled you sometimes, but you were still drawn to the enigma that happened to be Connor Murphy.

Keep reading

Stuck Together - Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier

Pairing: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier (side Billy Denbrough/Stanley Uris)

Word Count: 4190 (it just… I don’t what happened…)

Warnings: Warnings: So there’s a bit of sadness in the middle but that’s it.

Request: Anon: Can you please do a reddie soulmate au fic? The one where it is impossible to lie to your soulmate. But like, that doesn’t come into affect until they know they’re soulmates? Okay so hear me out. Maybe you only know who your soulmate is when a matching tattoo appears after a significant moment together or something like that? You can mess with it if you’d like but just something along those lines maybe? Thank you so much!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I decided to go with the second part of the request because while I understand what you mean I think the markings appearing after sharing a significant moment was something I could work with better and make something a bit longer. I threw some side Stenbrough in there. Hope you don’t mind.

Also I know I really downplayed Eddie’s mom’s mania over her sons well being but honestly so much wouldn’t have worked in this fic if I didn’t. Sorry that she’s a bit ooc.

Also thank you so much to @wyattghouleff for looking over the fic and coming up the name when I was struggling!

Requests OPEN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first one to notice that something had changed is Stan.

It was three weeks after everything that had happened. After they, hopefully, killed a clown in the bowls of Derry itself. Since Stan had almost died, since Henry Bowers “disappeared” and the town Sheriff apparently bleeding to death in his living room. It’s been three weeks since Eddie was convinced that he and all his friends were going to end up alongside the other missing children in their fucked up little town. Floating until they were nothing but rotting flesh and bone and maggots.

The thought alone made his stomach roll and his anxiety rocket right up.

More importantly, it’d been three weeks since he stood up to his mother and the tight reins that she’d constantly lead him around by had loosened.

He, Eddie Kaspbrak, was now allowed to have friends over. That being said, Stan was usually allowed over regardless, considering he was thought to be the least bad influence on Eddie in his mother’s eyes. Still, Bill had gotten to come over and stayed the night the week before and much to Eddie’s endless surprise Richie had been allowed past the front door, instead of having to resort to climbing through Eddie’s window under the veil of night.

Oh, his mother still tried to make him take his bullshit pills which he simply refused but he figured that he still carried everything else around in his fanny pack and with that she was appeased.

Right. Change. Stan.

It was three weeks later when the curly haired boy cleared his throat, back against Eddie’s bedroom wall, legs hanging off the side of his bed and a book flipped open on his lap, one that Eddie was sure Stan hadn’t actually been reading since they’d hurried up to his room.

Eddie turned his head so to look at his friend, waiting for him to continue while trying to scratch an itch stubbornly just beyond where his fingers could reach under his cast.

Stan was caught between looking at Eddie and his book. “Majestic Birds of the New England Area.”

“I uh, I think…” slowly his cheek began coloring pink near the top and his fingers reached up, fiddling with one of his curls. Eddie could tell that whatever Stann was trying to say he was nervous about. Stan only actively messed with his hair if he was nervous. “I think I have a soulmark.”

The pencil that Eddie was trying to write with dropped from his suddenly slack grip and his mouth fell open in surprise. Stan became ever redder, his legs drew up so that his knees were close to his chest and he could wrap his arms around them, bird book squashed uncomfortably between them and his chest.

“No fucking way.” Is what Eddie managed to get out after a tense moment of silence. Stan looked like he wanted to laugh and be sick at the same time, face instead settling into his neutral mask while he watched Eddie process the information he’d been given.

There was another moment of quiet when Eddie finally stood up.

“Show me.”

Hesitantly. Stan uncurled his legs and scooted to the edge of the bed, Eddie sat down beside him but Stan shuffled away so that was space between their sides. Eddie didn’t really get why at first until Stan’s hand went to the hem of his shirt, tugging up until the fabric was pulled high enough to expose the bottom of his ribs.

Right there, above where Eddie knew Stan’s “floating rib” should sit was two hands, palm to palm, fingers laced together.

“Oh shit.” Once again, not the eloquence that Eddie would have like to speak with, but really, he was all too surprised. None of the Losers, to his knowledge at least, had a soulmark. It wasn’t something that was super uncommon but definitely a rarity among younger kids not even in highschool yet.

“Yeah,” Stan replied, his voice whispery as his fingers moved to draw across the little soul tattoo on his body.

“Do you know-”

“No,” Stan said, tenser than he’d been the moment before. He dropped the end of his shirt from his hand and began to fiddle with a curl again. Eddie wanted to offer some kind of comfort for him but he just couldn’t think of what to do. “You know,” Stan continued, “you’re actually the first person I’ve told.”

They lapse into the silence again.

“Oh, uh, wow…” Eddie really didn’t know what to say to that. He looked down at his hands, clasped together on his lap and then to his cast before migrating his gaze back to still his embarrassed friend. “Why?” Because while Stan and Eddie were good friends and had been for a long time Eddie figured that the taller boy would have told Bill first.

While Eddie was thinking this Stan didn’t respond, looking like he was caught up in his own head at the moment.

Oh.

“Oh.” Eddie gets it in a sudden and almost imperceivable connection of dots. Of course, Stan wouldn’t tell Bill first. “You didn’t want to tell Bill first because if he doesn’t have one that means he’s not your soulmate right?” He asks it quietly because his walls are thin and if his ma heard him talking about this kind of thing she probably wouldn’t take too kindly to letting Stan up in Eddie’s room anymore.

Of course, same-sex soul marks are just as common as any other but this was Derry and stuff like that is kept under wraps and out of the faces of people who might not be as accepting of others. Like Eddie’s mother.

A shudder went through his body at the thought of her finding out about him and what preferences he was starting to notice about himself.

Eddie thought he heard a sniffle from his right and remembered, this isn’t about him. Stan needed him right then like how he needed him in the tunnels. Like they’ve all always needed each other.

When Eddie looked he could tell that Stan was trying to hold back frustrated tears, his hands now fisted into Eddie’s comforter on either side of his legs and his bottom lip caught between his teeth, breath shuddering out in careful bursts.

Eddie did the only thing he could think of and slung his arm around Stan’s shoulders. Eddie usually didn’t like touching people but his friend required this comfort and Eddie was able to give it to him so he did.

It was another three weeks when they’re all at the Quarry together, Eddie with bags under his eyes. So much had changed since Stan told him about his soul mark but one constant that remained was Eddie’s nightmare plagued dreams. They woke him up at all hours and refused to let him settle back down into sleep.

Visions of lepers, hundreds of them swarming to get him, of blood-soaked clowns dancing around his body, and of his friends, all white-eyed and hovering off the ground, like Bev had been.

One of the biggest changes was that apparently, the majority of The Losers Club had developed little marks like Stan’s.

Ben had been the first to reveal his mark to the group a day after Stan had done the very same with Eddie. His mark was on his shoulder, close-up like it wanted to crawl toward his collar instead. It was an orange flame. Everyone wanted to touch it, Eddie and Stan feigning awe at the little tattoo.

Bev was the last to feel the smooth patch of color and when her fingers brushed over the little flame, something completely unexpected and crazy happened.

A flame of her own bled into existence on the back of her hand, slow, like it was taking the time to bleed into every layer of her skin until it was just as vibrant as Ben’s. Soulmates.

Eddie spared a glance to Bill, knowing that he probably wasn’t taking the news all too well. The boy’s expression was sour but under it accepting of the truth, his hand up by his heart, clenching and unclenching unconsciously over the fabric of his shirt. Stan went to stand beside Billy in silent support. Eddie noted a bit of the tension he’d been holding the day before dripping away from his shoulders.

Eddie guessed when your biggest competition was someone else’s soulmate it was a bit easier to hope that your crush might just be yours.

There was some debate running around as to why the mark had taken so long to form and why at different times. All anyone really knew for sure that a shared experience was what tied soulmates together.

Unfortunately, that could mean anything and it didn’t help Eddie narrow down who Stan’s might be. He could have bumped into someone and apologized, thanked a young clerk at the grocery store, talked to a neighbor boy for the first time, killed a clown with his group of friends.

Eddie hoped for Stan’s sake it was the latter of those options because then that, at least, brought the options to three, Bill, Mike or…Richie. Eddie practically shook the twist in his stomach away. He knew that Stan and he couldn’t be soul mates, Eddie had done an extensive check of his body, no mark to be found and he figured if it was going to be a delayed thing it would have happened like Bev’s had.

A week passed from Ben’s reveal and while the group of friends was waiting by the ice cream truck Richie came tearing down the main street, hollering, swerving dangerously into a stop in front of them before practically throwing himself off his bike.

“Dudes, dudes, I got one! I got one too!” For a beat everyone was confused. Then dread began to pool in the middle of Eddie’s stomach, cold and heavy like a ball of ice. He turned to look at Stan, swallowing harshly as the curly haired boy looked back, equally terrified.

Eddie felt like he needed his inhaler.

Richie didn’t give his friends any time to really ask anything, already reaching for the top of his ratty jeans by his hip, pulling down the fabric just enough for them all to see the little design against the jutting bone.

It looked like a roll of white tape.

For some reason the chilling dread doesn’t lift from Eddie’s chest, only clenched tighter like a vice. At least he didn’t match with Stan, and out of the corner of his eye, Eddie could see the boy sagging with relief as they shared the same thought.

Everyone took turns touching it and when Eddie placed the tips of his fingers to the mark it seems like maybe both he and Richie were holding their breath. It was probably just his imagination though. Nothing happened and Richie thought for a painful moment his heart might actually be breaking when he pulled away from his best friend. He swallowed down the numbing hurt and give a faint “neat,” before going back to where he’d left his and Richie’s ice cream.

Stan gave him such an understanding look that it made Eddie want to punch him. But it wasn’t his fault so he didn’t.

And now they were all at the Quarry. Eddie didn’t want to admit it, even to himself, but he’d been intentionally spending time away from Richie. It sucked but really, feeling like there was glass in his heart, sharp points of pain that were hard to breathe around, sucked just as much. He couldn’t avoid a group hang out though. Besides, his ma would think she was winning the battle if he stayed cooped up in the house for too long.

They were all at the water’s edge, Ben and Beverly sitting together with their legs in the water.

Eddie was sitting with Stan, watching Bill, Mike and Richie converse, something like an argument brewing over the fact that Bill apparently didn’t want to go swimming.

“Come on Bill,” Richie said loudly, drawing out the second word like some kind of child. “We came here to swim so let’s swim.”

“You gu-guys can g-g-g do it. I’m f-f-fine.” He crossed his arms over his torso. Something was fishy about the whole thing, Bill loved swimming with everyone.

“Dude, seriously? You’ve been buggy all week. Just hop in with us for a bit?” When Richie was being sincere there wasn’t much that Billy can do but give in. He was just that kind of person.

“Ugh, f-fine.” Richie didn’t bother to hold back his triumphant smirk, him and Mike already pulling off their clothes to get into the water.

Almost insecurely Billy started to draw his shirt over his head. Eddie watched the odd behavior, Stan beside him, looking off into the forest with his binoculars, scouting for birds. If Richie hadn’t turned back to Bill and shouted: “dude what the fuck?!” Eddie might not have noticed anything at first and Stan surely wouldn’t have startled and whipped around, a scowl on his face to reprimand Richie.

They were both stopped short by what was on Bill’s chest.

Even from this distance, Eddie knew what it was because he’d seen it before.

Right above where Bill’s heart would just behind his ribs was a soulmark.

Two hands, palms touching, fingers laced together.

Beside him, he could hear Stan’s binoculars dropping to the ground with a careless thunk.

Eddie could barely hear what was being said from the trio ten feet away.

“- ju-just did-didn’t think it wa-wa-was that import-t-tant.”

The crystal cold feeling wormed its way into Eddie’s chest, looping through his bones and seizing his limbs. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling like that, not when Stan was probably going to break down with happiness but Eddie couldn’t help it really. In some sick way, he had been almost glad that Stan’s mark didn’t match with anyone because that meant he was feeling what Eddie was feeling, and now Eddie was alone with that feeling because Stan’s mark did match someone. It matched Bill Denbrough, basically the love and Stan’s life and Eddie, Eddie didn’t get to have that.

Eddie and Stan picked themselves up from the ground, Richie was dragging a flustered, shirtless Bill over to their small fraction of The Losers Club.

“Guys look-”

“Beep beep Richie,” Stan’s voice was surprisingly steady when he cut the other boy off and took a step forward. A hush fell over the entire group. The thick energy filling the air seemed to be reaching all of them. It was almost like with Bev and Ben when Stan looked pointedly at Bill’s mark and then into his eyes.

Bill was slack-jawed, expression open as an understanding passed between them. Stan’s partially worried expression lightened, the corners of his mouth pulled up into a smile, Bill’s expression did the same and it was all too much for Eddie. He couldn’t take it. He really couldn’t. Because after everything, the gray water, the leper, the fucking clown, and Richie’s unmatched mark that Eddie didn’t have, he really couldn’t handle anymore.

He stepped back from the circle that had started to form around Stan and Billy. Unfortunately, Eddie tripped over a small rock in his haste and drew the attention away from the new pair of soulmates and onto himself.

“I uh, I gotta get home,” he kept backing up as he said it, “I’m getting the cast removed tomorrow so I gotta go home and rest up so yeah.” Eddie wouldn’t say that he ran away exactly but he wasn’t slow about his retreat.

The pressure that had been building up in his chest was getting too tight and Eddie wanted to cry but he wouldn’t, he couldn’t.

The sound of someone coming up the trail behind him gave Eddie reason to pause. He didn’t though, just continued to trudge up toward the road so he could walk home.

“Dude! Eds, wait up!” Richie called from behind him. Eddie felt the claws in his chest sink harder, not even able to call back for the other to not call him that.

Richie’s footsteps grew louder as he raced to catch up with the other boy. Eddie didn’t want to run but the urge was there. He could not deal with this, with Richie, right now. A hand reached forward and fingers curled around Eddie’s arm, right above his cast. Richie pulled him to a stop and Eddie spun around, yanking his arm away from Richie’s grasp.

For a moment, neither of them said anything.

“Eds what the hell was that back there?” Richie sounded more concerned than Eddie had been expecting. He’d been like that since the tunnels, still Richie but almost more considerate. Eddie bristled at the tone. He’d much rather have Richie trying to make a joke at his expense then whatever he was doing at the moment.

“Nothing, like I said, I need to get home,” the excuse even sounded weak to his own ears. Richie gave a single bark of sarcastic laughter and rolled his eyes.

“Right. Since when are you listening to her mom again?” Eddie wanted to retort but Richie just kept going in the way that he always did. “It this about Stan and Bill’s soul marks? Is it ‘cause they didn’t tell you or because they match each other? Is it cause you don’t have one?” Eddie felt his body tense almost automatically for as unobservant as Richie usually was, he noticed the change immediately, the effect of his words being so close to the truth. “Really Eds is that it, I mean -”

Eddie’s fingers were curled up at his sides into tight fists.

“Beep fucking beep Richie,” and surprisingly it worked.

Eddie wondered as he turned around and stormed out onto the main road toward his house, Richie left standing there, shocked still, if it was because of the harsh tone he’d used or the way his eyes were glossy with unshed tears. Maybe it was the tremble in his lip or the way his shoulders were starting to shake that made Richie stop. Eddie didn’t know and really Eddie didn’t care because he needed to get to the safety of his bedroom before he broke down. Smack in the middle of Derry is not where he’d want anyone to see him turn into a crybaby.

He made it home in record time and managed to avoid his mother on his way up the stairs.

The next day as he was loaded up into his ma’s car on the way to the hospital his eyes are rimmed harshly with red and thankfully the older women next to him didn’t say anything about how it was clearly from crying. She only went so far as to remind her son to take his allergy pill.

Both Stan and Richie had tried calling a number of times the night before. Sometime around midnight, he thought he could hear the tell-tale clacking of pebbles against his window, Richie trying to get his attention. Eddie had simply rolled, facing away from the locked window and clutched a pillow over his head, begging the nightmares to drag him into a restless sleep so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. Anything to put the day behind him.

Getting his cast off was terrifying, he had to look away when the doctor and nurse brought out the saw. He knew through extensive research that the blade was dull and moved in a way that it won’t actually touch him. He still couldn’t watch when he heard the whirring sound of the blade started up.

The process was painless, only a dull tickling sensation over his arm as the cast vibrated and subsequently split in two. The nurse went to work wiping down his arm while his doctor looked over where the break had been before even though they had already done an x-ray to confirm that all was as it should be.

It was only when his arm was turned over to inspect the underside did his nurse let out a faint and surprised “oh!”

“Oh?” Eddie questioned, his voice cracking with panic. “Oh, what?”

He was thankful that his mother wasn’t in the room with him when it was revealed what the women holding his arm had seen.

A white roll of tape on the inside of his wrist.

Eddie didn’t know if what he was feeling was the actual overpowering relief flooding his veins or that fact that he might pass out any second.

The rest of the checkup went as planned and Eddie managed to get his spinning mind under control to answer his doctor’s questions. When his ma came to collect him Eddie was waiting for the moment that the nurse or his physician would tell her about his little soul mark. Neither of them did and his mother thankfully didn’t examine his arm.

Once he was home Eddie wasted no time what so ever. Going for his slightly dusty bike, chain creaky from disuse, the boy popped back the kickstand, and against his mother’s loud and worried protests rode out of his driveway and toward Richie’s house.

As he rode Eddie wondered if Stan had felt like this when he’d seen his mark matching perfectly over Bill’s heart. It felt like a warm pulse was thrumming through his body and the only thing on his brain, playing over and over again on a loop was “Richie Tozier is my soulmate, Richie Tozier is my soulmate, Richie Tozier is my fucking soulmate…”

Richie’s house was normally a ten-minute bike ride away. Eddie made it in seven.

Without a care for his beloved mode of transportation, Eddie threw his bike down and hurried up the porch to Richie’s front door. He wasn’t surprised to see that both of the Tozier’s cars were out. They were almost never home.

Eddie knocked on the door, three times in loud succession. He heard the sound of stomping feet approaching and took the few seconds it would take Richie to open to door to feel nervous. A fluttering wave of nausea over the thought that maybe, regardless of what having a soulmate really was, Richie wouldn’t want Eddie to be his.

Once the door was swung back and Richie could take in the sight of his friend, Eddie wasn’t scared anymore. If Stan could do it then so could he.

Richie crossed his arms around his middle looking both worried and miffed simultaneously.

“Are you here to yell at me more?” He was trying to sound indifferent but Eddie new when his best friend was putting up a front.

Not saying anything Eddie held his arm out, wrist facing up toward Richie who just rose a brow in confusion at the shorter boy before glancing down and freezing, his whole body becoming statuesque as he stared, wide-eyed through coke bottle glasses at the tape (which Eddie now recognized as medical tape) soul mark on his wrist.

Richie only had time for his lips to curl into a smile and the tips of his fingers to brush over Eddie’s mark before the other was stepping forward into his space, clutching a handful of his shirt by the already stretched collar and tugging him down.

Richie was surprised enough by the sudden action that he didn’t even register for a moment that Eddie’s mouth was now on his and that they were technically kissing, or, well, Eddie was kissing him. Once he did realize Richie closed his eyes and pressed his lips back to Eddie’s chapped ones.

As first kisses went Eddie hadn’t known what he’d been expecting. Probably not the uncomfortable glasses digging into his face, or Richie’s nose pressed almost harshly against his own, nor the faint hint of Cheetos mingled between their mouths. Regardless of those little things Eddie had to admit it was kind of perfect.

He pulled away and Richie smiled at him, leaning down again to reconnect their lips.

First kisses might be perfect, Eddie thought to himself, but second, and third and fourth ones were just as good.

Coming Out

 Eddie had known there was something that was different about him ever since the day that Beverly had sunbathed in front of them, clad in her underwear. And what popped into his mind, as he stared was ‘I wonder what we’re having for dinner tonight?’ As he looked around at his friends, it occurred to him that they we’rent thinking the same thing. No, their batting eyes, sharp intakes of breath, and parted mouths told otherwise. So Eddie tried to keep staring, just to make sure he hadn’t missed something. But Beverly started to turn her head and his time was up. He was immediately flustered and snapped his head back around like he was burned. 

Keep reading

It is my personal belief that no one can teach another human being a single useful thing about how to make art. My understanding of “teaching” is giving someone something directly, like a full-proof method for balancing algebraic equations, or the definitions of SAT words. I went into art school with the hopes that cryptic lesson plans would lead to a Mr. Miyagi style evolution that would unlock my hidden powers. If I knew what I do now about how to art-learn, I might have gotten something substantial out of college. But in my experience, art education begins and ends with either:

1. Another artist opening your eyes to an idea about drawing that you hadn’t noticed before, or

2. Elaborating on their go-to solutions they use in their own work.

Someone can tell you that you can ground your storyboards by drawing a ground grid. But using that grid in correct perspective, to it’s intended effect, is not something someone can do for you. Art educators and mentors can help you identify solutions to problems, then you work out how to implement it yourself. At the risk of sounding like a pedant for drawing that distinction, I’ll say that since I started approaching creative learning from this perspective, I get a lot more out of it. It’s become more “guided experimentation” than recording a recipe for the perfect painting.

That said, storytelling in art is definitely something you can teach yourself. You’ve identified a trait already, storytelling, so you’re already at the limit of where some teachers can take you. Plus you identified something astute, because I’ve been trying to incorporate storytelling into my art for a while, and have only recently started to get a handle on it. So in my opinion, you’ve done the bulk of the thinking work. Now comes the heavy practice work to master this new spell. This journey has a lot to do with finding your voice as a storyteller, so the tone of “YOU”, and the style of rendering that best expresses that tone in this time and place, will have a unique set of challenges for each person. But, I’ll take you through some of the realizations I had on the path to where I am now: A proud adult with two cats and a hit or miss batting average at clearly expressing thought in a sketch.

Capturing an entire scene in a single, static drawing is something my mentor Ian Abando does masterfully. I used to try to emulate the personality I saw in those drawings, but I was only copying the surface. I realize now that me and Ian’s outlooks are so different, that Ian and I would never tell the same type of stories, much less the same exact same story about those people at the adjacent cafe table. He’s personable, outgoing, jovial. Ian is like a friendly labrador with a dark streak in his sense of humor. He can sketch two strangers and capture a warmth that makes you realize they’re actually two old friends that haven’t seen each other in years. I can find something in that coffee shop too, but I’m just a way bigger weirdo, so I’m more interested in weirdo shit. For me, the first step in capturing those stories was finding the right subject. I keep a sketchbook with me at all times, and I’ve developed a patience for waiting, for hunting the right subject. When Ian and I meet up at a coffee shop to sketch, it always seems like he can draw anything. He seems to rest his gaze somewhere in the room at random, then drop pencil to page and watch that snippet explode into life. But now, I think he’s hunting too. I think he’s searching for what’s interesting, what’s worth drawing to him. It only seemed random to me because I couldn’t see what was beautiful about a subject. That he can see a particular magic in a certain 6 square feet of space, and not 6 feet next to it, has to do with who he is. In my mind, he was making that table of pleasant, unremarkable strangers more interesting on the page than it really was. But in his mind, maybe he saw that a girl was counting down the seconds until the end of a bad date, and the guy was trying to find subtle ways to flex.  Even now that I can “see” more, I might never appreciate the specific things that Ian does until he draws them.

The potential exists for that to be true of all of us. Art is a magic that lends other people your eyes. So let people see the pieces of your world that only you can. Just like he can do for me, I can see what’s interesting in scenes that Ian would overlook. And there are a million scenes where we’d see the same fascinating thing, but we’d have a different approach to it (for one, his approach would be to be way better at drawing than me). And there are a million more scenes that we’d both see something interesting in, but we’d each attach to a different feature of it.  All of that to say, don’t just pick out something and draw. If you want to tell a story, then don’t draw just to put something down on the page. Wait. Observe. Find a moment that makes you laugh. Find somebody despicable, and capture what’s despicable about them. Use a sketch to vent. Or make a sketch intentionally cold, and show everyone what your specific brand of loneliness feels like without begging for sympathy. I’d rather keep observing and draw nothing than to try to draw something dull because it’s in front of me.

Find the stories you’re personally interested in, you probably have something funny or insightful to say about a given situation that is unique to you. Try to put that weird part of you on display. If it scares you, then it’s probably coming from an honest place, and you should keep going. It may be clumsy at first. The story I want to tell still doesn’t come across on the page every time. Meanwhile, Ian seems to capture his stories without a single failure. If stories are Pokemon, he’s tossing great balls while I’m stuck with a standard issue poke ball. He’d probably say that comes down to pencil mileage. So keep practicing. Keep putting pencil to page even on the shit drawing days. It’s a toll you have to pay to be good down the line, even if you’re not good today. But, please, keep your brain turned on, that means always make an effort to be interesting. (Everyone go ahead and make that same effort in life too. Being boring around the water cooler at work is super rude and depressing.)  Like I said, being interesting in your art usually just comes down to taking an extra second to consider your subject before you start drawing. What am I seeing here? Is this the thing I want to draw? Where am I going with this? Is this coming from a real place? Am I digging to find the best I have today, or am I just making the same tired observation about airline food that I’ve seen before? And if I’m drawing something a lot of people draw, I make sure to ask what can I bring to this? What story can I tell about this that no one else is telling? Example: for the most part, if everyone around me is gushing about some new Star War via fanart, another well rendered post telling the story that you also enjoyed the Star War isn’t that interesting to me. I’d rather a worse drawing driven by a more interesting idea. You can participate in the cultural conversation without just repeating what’s already been said. I’m more likely to enjoy your Star War art if it comments on that one character’s funny butt pose in the third act. Or whatever. That’s just an hypothetical it doesn’t have to be butts.

The point is to put more thought in to your art. Wait a sec for the right idea, don’t just start drawing. You will know when you spot the right subject because you will already see it on the page. Plussss, when you start drawing with a clear idea where you’re going, not only is it more interesting, but it actually informs your craft- your drawings will come out better.

Okay, let’s say I’m not interested in the people a table over at the coffee shop, how do I know what else to look for? As stupid as this sounds, tweeting helped. Not just reading other people’s tweets, but putting myself out there, wording an idea with limited characters, figuring out what types of things could be explained, and what things were hard to express. And then I started to notice more and more effective way to express those ideas with a specific tone. One thing I realized about myself was that I trying to say two or three things about something at once. It made good ideas muddy, and weakened all three. I challenged myself to clarify, to combine, to present a single, strong idea. I’m still working on it, but for me tweeting is a storytelling exercise that’s helped put more “me” into my art. It forced me to get thoughts, ideas, jokes, frustrations, etc. out into the ether unadulterated by technique. There was no consideration of line quality or volume, so a thought had to stand on it’s own two legs. I doubt tweeting would help many artists in the same way.  But I think in words exclusively, images come later. I write outlines and dialogue in detail before I ever touch storyboard or comic thumbnails. But I’m in the middle of transitioning into writing, so I think my brain is naturally more verbal than most artists. Even with so much internal commentary, my art was without clear storytelling for a long time, because ideas either got lost in the drawing stage, or were too complicated to fit into a single image. Tweeting taught me how to be concise, (I’m clearly not using that skill for this reply, but whatever). So find your own method for making yourself comfortable enough to open up. Which leads me to the most my recent storytelling realization:

Don’t be afraid to put your opinions in your art. What you feel passionate about from the deep to the mundane can guide you in your search for a subject. I think people’s egos are funny. LA’s coffee shops are flooded with aspiring creatives mouth-shitting hot takes on art with dogmatic authority, and all from their designated unemployment-check-opening-butt-crater that they’ve worn into the cafe couch. I’m not denigrating anyone that hasn’t made it yet. But I am laughing at the unearned confidence of beardy over at the next table, and the volume at which he’s dropping that savage insight into the Black Mirror episode using stolen lines he just finished reading in a Robert McKee book. Beardy is a “writer” you see, I know because he might have mentioned it a few times to the people he’s with. So yeah, one thing I like to draw is people with their ego’s showing. It makes me laugh. Probably because I too have a big, fragile ego.

That “storytelling” thing is a muscle, like being funny at a party. You get good at party banter if you put yourself through the pain of attending multiple parties close together. (I’m convinced no human being actually enjoys parties, by the way. We all think we’re the idiot just outside the conversation circle that can’t find a big enough gap in people’s shoulders. But parties are the hardest social video game and It’s a little fun to be good at it.) The same way, you keep that storytelling muscle active in your drawings, and you’ll get momentum. If you take a month off, it’ll get weaker, and you’ll have catching up to do when you come back to it. Draw “you” day in and day out. One day you’ll starting getting these bursts where you stop thinking about the drawing process. You’ll stop actively trying to make it “good”, you’ll be swept up, and you’ll disappear into your own rhythm. It’s probably on that day that you’ll look down and realize you just communicated on the page.

But let’s move on to a matter of real importance:


The older I get the more I resemble an anime. Thoughts?

40 tips for incoming college freshmen
  1. “I’ll sign up for morning class because I tookclasses in the morning in high school.” NO DON’T DO THAT YOU’RE GOING TO WANTTO KILL YOURSELF
  2. If you can,try to spread your schedule so it’s 9-5. It’ll get you used to functioning atthose hours.
  3. Go to seminars. Pick up on some random shit. Impress people with random shit. But don’t be cocky.
  4. There’s literally no popularity so you really don’t have to fucking deal with cliques or anything just find your group and branch out and go from there.
  5. If you’re drinking:
    1. POUR YOUR OWN DRINK I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH
    2. Have a cup of water (or a bit of Gatorade) between every drink. You’ll never get a hangover.
    3. Don’t be fucking loud. Everyone hates the loud drunk and you’ll get the cops called on you and that’s bad shit.
    4. Don’t mix your liquor with other liquor and oh my God don’t mix it with anything else like drugs that’s just asking for a crisis.
    5. If your buddy is in a really bad place call 911. Don’t be that douchebag who thinks that someone can sleep it off.
  6. DO EXTRA CREDIT FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD NOT EVERY PROFESSOR OFFERS EXTRA CREDIT DO THE FUCKING EXTRA CREDIT.
  7. College is for expanding your mind. Talk to friends about their majors. Attend their events or art shows. Talk to someone you met about their religion. Take an English class on Lord of the Rings. Learn things you wouldn’t normally learn in high school.
  8. Love might come. It might not. Don’t worry about it and it won’t be a problem. You’re young.
  9. Don’t be the douchebag who plays acoustic guitar in the lounge.
  10. Have fun because you’re spending a fuckton of money to be there but do your homework.
  11. There’s a general rule of college that if you were sitting in that seat for over two weeks, that is your seat. Not many if any professors have seating arrangements but switching seats will fuck everyone up.
  12. Get there early and stay late. As soon as you get home you will not want to do shit. Stay on campus and do some homework while you’re in the environment.
  13. SIT UP FRONT. The best way to start understanding something is to listen to someone talk about it and you can’t do that from the back of the class trying to listen over everyone whispering to each other. LISTENING WILL MAKE HOMEWORK SO MUCH EASIER. 
  14. Be childish, but be respectful. Have a massive snowball fight across campus, but don’t aim for anyone not taking part. 
  15. SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THE LIBRARY. Some people work there, some people sleep there. It is a quiet space. 
  16. Don’t be afraid to talk to professors. They are not there to flunk you. They would rather you pass than not.
  17. IF YOU NEED TUTORING GET TUTORING DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOU’VE DUG YOURSELF INTO YOUR GRAVE.
  18. Get involved. It will help you make friends, give you new skills to learn, and even help you get a leg up in the work place if you know the right people.
  19. Take time for yourself—buy a planner, figure out when your best study hours are, figure out WHERE you study best, and figure out how much time you need to complete an assignment—AND THEN make sure to pencil in an hour for video games, some time to watch a TV show, or time to just lay on your floor and blow bubbles. Whatever you like. Don’t forget about YOU.
  20. SLEEP. EAT. DRINK WATER. Don’t die. Caffeine =/= sleep. I cannot emphasize that this much.
  21. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR INSTRUCTORS! If you’re sick, shoot an e-mail and say “Hey, I’m sick today. Can I set up a time to talk to you about what I missed?” If you’ve got a good opportunity (scholarships, to go to another country, to check out a cool lecture, etc.) let your prof know ahead of time. If you just need time to work on projects, all it takes is an e-mail. We understand. I gave a student a free skip day because he e-mailed me and said “Hey, look, I have two massive tests and a project due and I need the time to study.” And THAT IS OKAY
  22. Before signing up for classes, look on “ratemyprofessor.com" and see if the teachers at your campus are included. There may be two or more teachers for the same course, and you want to try and pick the good/easy one. Who your professor is can have a great affect on what grade you make, even for the “same” class. 
  23. Look for a facebook group for your “graduating class” set up, which is a good way to make friends and find people with similar interests (particularly for introverts). 
  24. Look for a facebook group for your “graduating class” set up, which is a good way to make friends and find people with similar interests (particularly for introverts). 
  25. If no one else does it, make a google doc of the exam reviews and post it on the class facebook page. That way everyone contributes to the review. 200 brains are most definitely better than 1. 
  26. During lectures, unless Internet is required, TURN IT OFF. If it’s on, you WILL end up on tumblr or some other site, and you will miss important shit. 
  27. For the love of God, pay attention to your syllabus. Sometimes assignments are listed there, and that’s the only place it’ll be mentioned. Also, if it says to do a reading by a specific date, DO THE READING BY THAT DATE. Otherwise you will get behind, and you will have 200+ pages of textbooks to read in one night before the test, and you will cry.
  28. Yes you actually need to do the readings. Yes it is a lot. Yes it will suck. Do it anyways. 
  29. If you are used to getting all A’s, do not cry when you get a B. Take it from someone who killed herself for two years to maintain a 4.0, it feels like the end of the world when your GPA drops, but it’s not. You’ll be okay. Just breathe and do your best. Your best is good enough.
  30. Try to make sure you leave an open hour around midday so that you have time to get food in you. A lot of people forget to do this. If you have to have back to back classes, check your syllabus or with your teacher—some midday classes allow you to bring in a drink and a snack. Some will even allow you a full meal.
  31. If you can get an online/pdf copy of the book without busting the bank, DO IT. Sometimes there are even annotated versions online. This can make notetaking a shitton easier, because you can highlight printed-out versions of the book and they won’t dock you on the money back. Sometimes professors move through their lecture too fast for you to write stuff down. Shrugging off that old ‘don’t ruin your books’ rule you had in high school may be your only hope.
  32. UNLESS YOU NEED THEM OR REALLY WANT TO KEEP THEM TRY TO SELL BACK YOUR BOOKS—maybe even offer them online to incoming students. You won’t get nearly the worth of them but someone after you will thank you a million times over for providing a used copy. If you take good notes, you can sometimes buy/sell those as well. A lot of professors teach literally the same class every time.
  33. IF YOUR PROFESSOR PUTS NOTES ONLINE GET THEM. GET THEM NOW. TRUST ME. YOU WANT THOSE NOTES. Bring them in with you if it’s possible to get them before class.
  34. Keep change on hand. Always.
  35. The Best Way To Make Friends:
    1. Bring a printer with you to college and offer to print people’s stuff for half of what the school does or for free if you can afford it.
    2. Carry around small candies with you and offer them to people while waiting outside of class. If you are the ‘candy person’ this gives you an in for starting conversations.
    3. Buy a jumbo pack of chalk and find an open sidewalk on a free day. Write the words ‘Come draw with me?’ and begin doodling.
    4. Have a pack of cards.
  36. If you go onto campus and you can’t find what you’re looking for, and you are afraid to go up to someone and ask, find an open, well-populated area, hold your schedule/map in hand, and walk in circles for a few minutes, looking up and around in obvious confusion. Other students know this body language well. Someone will stop and point you in the right direction. (if you are worried that the person’s directions are a joke or faulty, wait for them to leave and take up the stance again; if the directions match-up the second time, they’re legit; do not allow a person to ‘show you the way’ unless EVERY STEP is along an obvious walkway, just in case)
  37. For those of you who fear assault, most campuses aren’t much for small blades or mace. Carry a pocket air horn or a hand bag of those little pop-rock fireworks unless you can get a concealed weapons permit.
  38. Make friends with transfer kids. Chances are, they won’t be able to live in the dorms and it’ll be ten times harder for them to meet people since they have to drive to and from campus. It’s also fun hearing about their experiences before the college you both go to. 
  39. Make friends with an older student. I’m talking about students who have families and full-time jobs. You can learn a lot from them, and they honestly have the best stories. They’re often the smartest and the most dedicated, so they make great study buddies. 
  40. Your teachers are people! Joke around with them, talk to them a bit during break. Make sure they at least recognize you as “that dude with the god-awful puns during break”. In my experience, professors are even more willing to bend over backwards to help the students they know. (But also, in general? They want you to learn! If there’s a way they can easily help, there’s a really good possibility they’ll do it!

Just cleaned up this post ≧◡≦

The Arrangement

Originally posted by dean-sam-winchesterbros

Summary: in an AU where the Winchester family owns a multi-million dollar company, Dean’s in a bit of a pinch. Grandpa Samuel is threatening to cut him off if he doesn’t straighten out and stop getting into trouble. Instead of taking some responsibility, Dean comes up with an ingenious plan: find someone to pretend to be his girlfriend. You and Dean have never gotten along, but a fake relationship seems to be beneficial to you both…

Pairing: AU Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,700

Warnings: language, general rudeness (from Dean), mild angst?

A/N: so this is my new idea for a series! It’s all my brain will do right now. It’s a little rough right now, but I’m hoping you guys like it. Also the title is terrible but it’s all I could come up with.

Keep reading

in denial but practically married

Originally posted by captivatesme

Admin: Sadie 

Words: 10,656 (holy moly that’s the most I’ve ever written)

Description: If he’s a photographer who gets hired constantly by the magazine company you work at, and you two are best friends, who’s to say there isn’t any hidden feelings?

Author’s Notes: How rude can Kyungsoo be? Wrecking my bias list with his stupid acting and beautiful vocals and his sarcastic tone and sass and fuck why does he have to do this to me. like seriously. i find myself so often watching random videos of things he did back in 2012 at 3 am so seriously why. hes not even my bias. 

“Okay guys let’s do that one more time, but this time, with more flowers!”

The producer’s voice rings loud and clear throughout the studio. Immediately, you jump into action, running to the models quickly and checking over their dresses quickly. The person in charge of the props takes the large box of petals and roses and heaves it up the ladder so he can throw the red petals over the model. 

The model’s dress is still immaculate, but a piece of her hair had escaped from the gracefully messy braid that was strewn across her shoulder. You immediately go to pin it back and then scramble off the set before the producer’s voice is heard again. 

“All right people that’s perfect!” he shouts. The photographers start flashing away, and you go to stand behind one of them to look over their shoulder to see the pictures. The pictures, of course, are gorgeous, turning out absolutely flawless. The angles are perfect, the models are stunning, and the photographer’s ass looks great in those jeans. 

Fuck. 

It was 100% percent normal for you to accidentally catch yourself staring at his ass. You mean, like it’s a nice ass, so you’re gonna appreciate it. Too bad that ass is attached to one of your closest friend’s body. 

That friend is Do Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is a photographer. As a matter of fact, he’s a hell of a photographer. Back in high school he was a photography protege. Like seriously. In the middle of algebra class, if he was inspired enough, he would take out his camera and just start photographing random things, like the worksheets, his pencils, and occasionally that cute guy he saw across the room named Kai or Jongin or whatever. 

You didn’t go to high school with him, so how did you know all this about him? Well, he had told you over numerous nights of watching old movies, discussing new ideas to promote at both of your jobs, and just ordering take out so you two could talk about life and other random things. It had become kind of your thing. After you both got off work, which was typically at similar times, because your jobs depended on each other, it would be off to this small but really good cafe (no really–their chocolate chip muffins were literally made by an angel, not to mention their jujube bingsoo) near your buildings. There you two would chat and occasionally make fun of your crazy executives. 

It was a nice thing to do, especially after a day of shooting. Those photo shoots got intense sometimes. You worked for a magazine company, in the fashion department. Your job was to make sure the designer dresses and various other clothing styles were in perfect condition. Typically, you would be the one to formulate the outfits before submitting them to your superiors for approval. You would also analyze the outfits once they were used and write a column or a page describing the designer’s feelings towards that piece or what goes into rocking that piece. It wasn’t a hard job, and it paid well. It’s also where you met Kyungsoo when you first started three years ago. 

A water being tossed in your direction brings you out of your reverie. Sadly, you come out of your reverie a little too late and the bottle hits you in the face. 

“Shit! Sorry (Y/N). Wasn’t aiming at your face if you were wondering.”

You scowl and lean down to pick up the bottle. “Work on your aim there, penguin-man.”

Kyungsoo laughs and opens his own bottle of water to take a swig. Apparently, while you were off reminiscing, the producer called break. You graciously take a sip of your water before moving closer to Kyungsoo to punch him in the arm. 

“You seem spaced out today,” he says, grinning as he rubs his arm. “What have you been thinking about?”

You shrug. I was thinking about your lovely ass, buddy. “Taxes, work, how much water I drink a day, adult stuff.”

He lets out a chuckle, before setting his water down on a nearby table and looking over his camera, checking to see if the pictures were turning out as planned. Of course, you knew the pictures were flawless, as you had already checked them out previously, but a good photographer always double checks.

You come up behind him and rest your chin on his shoulder to look at his camera. He’s warm, as usual, and smells like coffee and peppermint, something you’ve grown quite fond of. He acknowledges you with a small smile on his heart shaped lips. 

“Oooo, I like that one,” you say, pointing to one as he scrolls through the pictures. He looks at you over his shoulder. 

“Didn’t you already look at them all?” he asks. 

“Yes, but these are the raw ones,” you say, stepping back and grinning. “These are the ones that you took on your own camera. It’s not the same as looking at them with a bunch of people.”

He gives you a strange look. “But they’re literally the same exact pictures.”

“Not to me.”

“Why in the world are you so fucking weird?”

“Maybe because I’m hanging out with you all the time. Weird people tend to flock together, you know?”

That gets him. He doubles over, laughing. You grin triumphantly. You’ve always found pride in making Kyungsoo laugh like that. Totally not because his laugh was one of the most gorgeous sounds you’ve ever heard. Totally not. 

After regaining his posture, with the smile still present on his face, he opens his mouth to say something (probably something really snarky) but the producer beats him to it. 

“Break time’s over! Let’s wrap this shoot up quickly!”

_________

Just as the producer wanted, the crew wrapped up the shooting not long after that break. You followed the models into the dressing room to help them properly and carefully take off the delicately designed dresses. You’re extra careful about that bit of lace near the buttons. 

As the models all make their way from the dressing room, bowing respectively, you zip up the last dress into it’s protective bag and take a deep breath. That shoot was a lot more mild than you expected, and for that you’re glad. Usually the shoots leave you drained from being around so many people and in need of recharging. Kyungsoo typically deals with the same curse of introverted-ness as you, so you two often try to recharge together, which completely goes against the idea of an introvert. 

Regardless of your introverted self, you find yourself craving more of Kyungsoo’s time, and wanting to be with him more often than naught. You’ve told some of your other friends this, and all they’ve said is stuff like, “You’re blind. Metaphorically and physically,” or “Why is it that when you need to recharge, you only want to hang out with–ohh…never mind,” or “He must be special to you or something. Introverts tend to group together I think.”

You groan in frustration. You really don’t know why you like Kyungsoo more than others. In truth, he just kind of snuck up on you. You both had been huddled in a corner at a company dinner, and with both of your bosses chatting together, talking about deals and such, you two had awkwardly scrolled through your phones until you saw a picture of Natsu on his phone and you couldn’t help but ask him about it. From that grew anime hangouts and then just casual hangouts. Over the three years you knew him, he became the closest person to you. Up until Kyungsoo, you’d never really had any super close friends, like ones that you know you couldn’t ever get tired around, no matter how much you loved them. 

A knock at the door makes you jump and realize that you were staring at yourself in the mirror for the past thirty seconds. 

“(Y/N)? You in here? Doesn’t matter I’m still coming in because I know you’re in here.”

The door knob turns and Kyungsoo’s face peeks around the corner of the opened door. A heart-shaped grin forms over his lips. “You ready to go? You took even longer than usual to pack up.”

You shake your head to get rid of the remnants of your thoughts. “I’m ready. How much longer did you have to wait? Five minutes? Thirty seconds?”

“You were like half an hour later than usual,” he says, coming fully into the room with his hands in his pockets. “I had to wait in the cold, freezing night for like ten minutes!”

“Kyungsoo, it’s five in the evening. The sun is still out. That, and the fact that it’s like 70 degrees outside.”

“I know that. Now, let’s go. I need my evening coffee.”

You quickly grab your satchel and double check to see if everything is in there before nodding and Kyungsoo and leaving the dressing room. 

________

The cafe that you typically go to is quiet, which is strange, as people are typically just getting out of work at that time. But today, the cafe is practically empty, save for some college students huddled in a corner. You both order the same thing you’ve been ordering for the past six months and find your seat on the second floor of the cafe to wait. 

The seat that you two always sit at is always on the second floor, secluded from most people. It’s right next to the window, so you can scope out people and guess what they’re thinking in those moments. It’s become quite a routine for you. You could even call it therapeutic, in a way. It gets you out of your apartment after work and helps you stay involved in the world. Honestly, without Kyungsoo, you’d probably be back in your apartment, endlessly scrolling through Tumblr looking for decent fanfictions to read. 

It hits you as you sit down in your seat. Kyungsoo has taken up about 96% of your life and you’re left wondering how that happened. How did this awkward, introverted photographer with a secret love of anime and kittens who comes off as really rude at first glance manage to sneak his way into your life? How did such a person who likes plants and taking pictures of things he deems “elegant” become so close to you? Somehow, he manages to sneak his way into most of your thoughts. He manages to get you ready for the day. He manages to make sure that you eat healthy food and a nice home cooked meal once in a while. He has just taken up so much of your thoughts and you just wish it would all–

“(Y/N)? You still there?”

A hand waves across your face and you jump. You nod, still reevaluating everything that happened in your life up until this point in your mind. 

“You seem really spaced out today,” he says, a look of confusion spreading across his face. “There’s got to be something you’ve been overthinking about lately. Come on. Spill it, or I’m eating all the jujube bingsoo.”

You shrug. “If you don’t let me have some of that bingsoo, I swear I will never talk to you again, Kyungsoo.”

He grins. “Then tell me what’s got you all distracted lately.”

“Nothing!” you say, a bit more defensively this time. “Nothing is distracting me at all!”

Kyungsoo hums. “Oh I’ll definitely believe you. Totally. And I can stand that Chanyeol guy who works with you.”

“Chanyeol is a nice guy!”

“He’s too nice.”

You groan in frustration and open your mouth to say something, but the buzzer signifying your drinks and food are ready buzzes before you can say anything. 

“I’m gonna go and get the drinks,” you say, snatching up the buzzer from beneath Kyungsoo’s hand. “And you are not eating all of the bingsoo, I assure you that.”

You walk off to walk down the stairs and sigh. He knows you too well. He knows when your mind is wandering. The only problem is, he doesn’t know what it’s wandering to. Lately, it’s been wandering to Kyungsoo. You really have no idea why. It’s truly getting annoying. All your mind has been saying is, “Will Kyungsoo be there?” “I wonder what Kyungsoo is up to now.” “Has Kyungsoo eaten today?” and other various thoughts concerning Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo. That’s all it’s been. You’ve known this guy for three years, and yet just now he’s been in every thought you’ve had. 

You shake your head to rid yourself of thoughts of Kyungsoo as you pick up your bingsoo and tea. You assure yourself that it’s only because he’s been your friend for so long, that’s why he’s always in your mind. Yeah. He’s been your friend for a long time. That’s why. No other reason. Absolutely no other reason. 

You make your way back to your table, where Kyungsoo is staring out the window. The evening sun shining in through the window makes him absolutely glow, accentuating his cheekbones and the graceful curves of his lips. It’s truly stunning how he can be so beautiful. It’s also a bit weird because that beautiful man is you best friend. It’s totally normal to admire your best friend, right? You did admire his ass earlier during the shoot, but now that you think back on it, was because your eyes were fixated on a point and he just so happened to move into that exact spot, and you were just too lazy move your eyes. Simple as that. 

You make sure to keep the bingsoo close to you as you sit down, glaring suspiciously at your friend. He smirks at you and you growl. “Don’t fucking take my bingsoo from me.”

Kyungsoo holds his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine. Just please tell me what’s been going through your mind.”

“Chanyeol!” You can’t stop the name from escaping your lips. He was the first person to come to mind that wasn’t Kyungsoo, so he was better than nothing. 

“What?”

“Chanyeol…he’s the one that I’ve been thinking about,” you say, taking a sip of you tea, only to find out that it’s scalding hot.

“That over sized man-child is what you’ve been thinking about?” Kyungsoo crosses his arms across his chest. “Chanyeol? Really? Why of all people him?”

You cough. “Well…he’s very nice to me…and he’s interested in getting to know me…plus he’s really tall and acts kinda like a puppy?”

Kyungsoo looks at you suspiciously. “You don’t sound very sure about that.”

“No, I guess I don’t,” you say, taking a bite of the bingsoo. The sweet taste of the red beans combined with the shaved ice and a piece of jujube explodes on your tongue and you almost moan at how good it tastes. 

He sighs in defeat. “I should probably stop while I’m ahead. I’ve gotten what I can out of you.”

You grin. “If only you could read my mind.”

_________________

It’s 3 AM and you’re struggling to sleep. No matter what you do, you can’t stop evaluating everything about Kyungsoo and your relationship. This had never happened before. Evaluating your relationship with him means you’re evaluating your feelings for him. That’s scary. Feelings are scary. Especially if they’re anything but platonic for your best friend, who you most certainly do not want to scare away. 

You toss around in your bed, trying to get comfortable. Nothing really works. Sometimes, if you can’t sleep, you reach around to try to find Kyungsoo, but this wasn’t one of the nights that he stays over. Most of the time, you find yourself staying over at Kyungsoo’s or sometimes you find him staying over at yours. It’s quite comforting, in a way. He’s very warm and quite comfy, like a nice pillow. 

You sigh. Kyungsoo is just someone that’s so special to you that you don’t ever want to let go. He helps you out of your shell. He spends hours of his life with you. He cooks for you. He helps clean your apartment with you. He often sleeps over with you. He argues with you if you are ever tempted to adopt a dog even though your apartment building doesn’t allow pets. He makes sure you get home on time. He makes sure you’re awake and caffeinated for the day. He listens to you if you need someone to talk to. He appreciates your talents and encourages them. 

This isn’t fair. Why are you the one who has to reevaluate an entire relationship at 3 AM? Why can’t Kyungsoo be the one who’s up all night thinking about everything you did with him? Why does it have to be you?

Kyungsoo is just so…so…different from anyone you’ve ever met. Your friends say that you two are practically married at this point. Whenever they say that, you two always laugh it off, but something in your heart feels strange whenever they mention it. Maybe they’re right. Maybe you two are almost like a married couple. 

You groan in frustration. Kyungsoo is an amazing person. He’s a gentleman, kind and respectful. He knows when to be professional and he knows when to be silly. He seems so rude and cut off from the world at first, but then you get to know him, and he’s this giant fluff ball with penguin boxers and a lot of sass. He’s so particular. So very very particular. With his minimalist art he has lined up on his walls, those cat slippers he got for you because he knows how much you like cats, and his amazing chef skills, he’s almost too good to be true. 

Besides being a sweetheart and kind to literally everyone he meets, he’s also physically stunning. Absolutely stunning. With his heart shaped lips and well defined arms, he’s stunning. You’ve seen the way your co-workers have eyed him and remember the way that made you feel. It made you feel all yucky and annoyed all of a sudden. They would take one glance at him and just start giggling. It was even worse at restaurants. If the waitress or waiter was interested, they would flirt with him, and that happened quite often. It wasn’t like you’d get jealous or anything. It’s not like you love him. Right?

Fuck. 

You’re totally, head-over-heals in love with your best friend. You slap your hand across your face and groan again, but this time louder. It’s not like you can help it. This is the first time you’ve come to terms with your feelings for him and you don’t like it. Not one bit. 

__________

The next morning scares you and you don’t want to get out of bed. Getting out of bed means having to see Kyungsoo. And having to see Kyungsoo means that you’ll have to face the reality of your newly discovered feelings. That doesn’t sound very appealing to you. So instead of facing your feelings head on, you decide to run from them. 

You end up calling in sick that day. Which is technically not a lie, as your stomach feels queasy and your head is kind of pounding. That and you hadn’t taken a sick day for the past five months, so might as well now. Thankfully there aren’t any big shoots to do today, as the big one was yesterday. Today would have just consisted of going through the photos and deciding which ones would work best in the magazine. Being the person who contacts designers and formulates the outfits you weren’t really needed anyway. Besides, you wouldn’t have to face Kyungsoo today anyway. 

Kyungsoo ends up texting you, asking if you’re alive, if you’ve eaten, whether or not you’ve taken any medicine, or drank anything today. Honestly, you don’t know how he knew you called in sick. He doesn’t even work at your building. Maybe he was there as the executives were choosing the photos. You’ll never really know. 

 You’re sick? why didn’t you tell me?

I dunno. I don’t even feel that bad. I guess I just kinda wanted a break or something.

did you eat anything today?

yea…some crackers and half a carrot

that’s not enough. 

i’m not even that hungry

regardless, I’m gonna bring you some soup

Dude you have your own job. Stay being responsible and do your job, you little shit

here I am, being an amazing best friend, bringing you soup when you’re sick and still under-appreciated. how rude of you. 

you’re at WORK now, penguin man. you don’t need to bring me soup. 

I’m bringing you soup. Did you drink anything today?

yes, mom, i drank some juice and water. 

why are you still sassy when you’re sick

I SAID IM NOT EVEN THAT SICK AND EVEN IN GENERAL IM NOT SASSY OMFG 

still. let me in when i get to your apartment. 

You throw your phone down onto your bed in frustration. All you really want to do is avoid Kyungsoo at all costs. And he’s not letting you even try to avoid him. Telling him that you just recently realized your feelings for him will absolutely ruin your friendship with him. You’re about 100% sure he doesn’t feel the same way about you. How could he anyway? The thought of him ever having feelings for you makes you laugh. Why would he like you? He’s so intricate and you’re just…well you’re just you. 

You decide to get up and wait in the living room for him. You plop yourself down onto your couch with your laptop and decide to watch an episode of Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. The beautiful Ahn Min Hyuk should help distract you from Kyungsoo and his adorable pout and cute lips and kind smile and good heart and fuck where were you going with this thought. 

Halfway through a particularly good episode, a knock sounds from your door. You sigh. There’s absolutely no way to avoid this, is there? Another knock sounds at your door, confirming that there is not one single way to avoid this. At all. 

You sluggishly make your way to the door and open it, to reveal Kyungsoo, with multiple grocery bags full of ingredients. 

“I wasn’t sure what type of soup you wanted, so I got lots of things.”

Damn him. Damn him and his thoughtfulness. 

“How is your boss okay with this?” you ask, opening the door wider for him to maneuver in with all those bags. 

He sets the bags down on your kitchen counter and begins unpacking the food. “He knows how close we are. He also thinks we’re secretly married.”

You pray hard that your face isn’t red.

“Damn, your face is really red. Just how sick are you?”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. “I said already, I’m not really sick at all. You don’t need to make me any soup.”

He still doesn’t stop unloading the groceries. “I’m still making you soup. Besides, it was about time to restock your fridge.”

You sigh in defeat and sit on the counter next to the stove. “You don’t need to. I don’t need you to baby me.”

Kyungsoo smirks and a comfortable silence falls between you both. It’s moments like these where you’re going to struggle trying to keep these feelings to yourself. It’s not like you can help it. He’s just such…such boyfriend material, you know? Especially when he’s wearing that jean jacket and those ripped black jeans. And most specially when he’s preparing the vegetables for the soup. 

“So, you’ve been thinking about Chanyeol lately, huh?” Kyungsoo breaks the silence. He looks over at you expectantly. There’s something in his eyes that scares you. 

“I guess so,” you sigh. “He’s very tall and easy to notice. That and he works with you, so I get to see him a lot.”

“He asked about you today, you know.” He starts to slice the carrots. “As I was leaving, he asked if you were okay and if I would say hi to you for him.”

This surprises you. “Really? He did? That’s so sweet of him.” Thinking about all these boyfriend vibes you’re getting from Kyungsoo is making you wonder how long these feelings have been repressed for. Especially as you notice how this is exactly how you two usually act. Maybe you can date Chanyeol as a way to get your mind off of Kyungsoo. But then again, wouldn’t that technically be using Chanyeol? Maybe if you explained your situation to Chanyeol he would understand your predicament. 

A glare is shot your way. “I don’t like him,” he says, turning back to his carrots. 

“Why? He’s a nice guy and he brings me coffee every once and a while.”

“He does what now?”

“Brings me coffee,” you say. Why the hell is Kyungsoo getting all riled up? “Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No,” he says. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I just don’t really see him as someone you could be with.”

That catches you off guard. “Someone I could be with? Kyungsoo, he’s adorable and sweet plus he’s tall and got cute ears. I can see myself with him.” You say that to Kyungsoo, but somehow, it feels more like you’re saying it to yourself. Chanyeol is a great guy in all, but he’s not Kyungsoo. 

“Well, who am I to stop you then?” he replies shortly. “Date him if you want to. I’m not going to stop you.”

“Dummy,” you say, hopping off of the counter and going to steal a piece of carrot. “I don’t even know if he likes me or not.”

 “He told me he thinks you’re cute,” Kyungsoo says as he cuts a second piece of celery into small slices. 

Really? That was unexpected. Still, you hope that Chanyeol will be understanding of your problem when you tell him. Why of all people do you have to struggle with these stupid feelings for your best friend? Why?

“Then tomorrow I’ll get his number,” you declare, grinning. “If he thinks I’m cute then there’s a mutual attraction somewhere.”

“Yeah, I guess there is,” he says as he throws a pinch of salt into the soup pot.

_____________

The next day starts almost exactly the same way the previous one had. You don’t want to face Kyungsoo again and the world at all. But you know if you could face him for a few hours yesterday, then today shouldn’t be so bad. How people with unrequited love survive, you’ll never know. You guess you’ll find out. 

You drag yourself from your bed to get ready. Your apartment seems colder than usual now that you’re not in your warm bed, bundled in your sheets. Typically you’d keep the apartment a bit colder than a typical indoor temperature. It’s easier to put on clothing if you’re cold than to take off clothing if your hot. You dig through your closet to find something presentable and strip out of your pajamas to change. 

You make a quick breakfast of eggs and toast before grabbing your phone and wallet and leaving your apartment to take the bus to your work building. The ride isn’t very long, thankfully, and once you arrive, you rush into the building. You aren’t late at all, as a matter of fact you’re quite early, but just the thought of the possibility of running into Kyungsoo scares you. 

You successfully avoid seeing Kyungsoo on your way in, but the person standing at your desk confuses you. He’s facing away from you, but judging by the tall and lanky body, it’s probably Chanyeol. 

“Morning!” you cheerily quip as you make your way around your desk to set your things down. The tall man smiles back at you, and holds a cup of coffee out to you. His face is slightly dusted pink. 

“I-Kyungsoo told me tha-that you’re interested in getting to know me better,” he says, as you take the coffee from him and smile. 

“He did?” you say as you blow on the coffee to try to cool it down. “Well, he wouldn’t be wrong, per say…but I wanted to talk to you about something.”

His eyebrows raise. “You do? How about over coffee this evening then? After work? I mean, after all, we’re still reviewing the photos today so I usually get off at the same time as you.”

You nod in confirmation. “That’d be nice, sure.”

You know that the after work coffee runs are usually exclusively you and Kyungsoo, but today, you just still want to run from your feelings once again. Yesterday, Kyungsoo literally forced you to interact with him, being the giant sweetheart that he is, just so he could take care of you. Gah, why is he so sweet? 

Chanyeol leaves your desk after people begin coming into the well decorated office space the fashion team was assigned to and gives you a wave over his shoulder. Thankfully, you only have to write the rough draft of a column describing the dress and how it was worn. The writing part was never the easiest part of your job, but you still liked the way the words just flowed onto the document at sometimes. It made you feel better about your writing skills. 

According to the subscribers of the magazine, they quite liked and appreciated your input and facts about the outfits. Which was surprising to you, as you had never really thought that your facts and tips were all that special. But apparently they were. It always boosts your self esteem whenever you read a good review, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like you actually accomplished something good in your life. 

The day went by fast. Kyungsoo had texted you occasionally, sending sneaky pictures of Chanyeol and saying stupid things like

wow look at that hunk ammi right?

why him tho

just why

hey look there he goes

visiting his princess maybe?

stfu penguin 

btw im meeting with him after work, so today’s evening coffee run will have to be postponed one day

oh come on 

really?

yes, really

you’re ditching me for him? That’s not fair

buddy how is it not fair? 

ugh it doesn’t matter anymore. you better not bring him to our cafe tho

that’s OUR cafe

not his and urs

OURS

Soo, we don’t own that cafe it’s not technically ours

stop being so salty

i gtg finish this column. focus on ur pictures k buddy?

fine finish ur thingy

have fun

Why does he have to be like that? You really still don’t know after three years of friendship. 

“So, Chanyeol eh?”

You jump in your seat and turn around to see Jiwoo standing behind you. “What? No. No, not at all.”

She smirks. “But he totally gave you that coffee this morning. I saw him. And what’s that about you meeting up for coffee with him after work? I thought that was what you and Kyungsoo did though. You’re not cheating on him right?”

Your face turns bright red. “We aren’t dating!” you say defensively. 

Jiwoo lets out a laugh. “Oh, right sorry. I forgot you’re married.”

“We are not married!” You cross your arms over your chest. 

“Oh hush, you two are practically married at this point. I’m surprised you two haven’t moved in together yet.”

“That’s because we aren’t married!”

Another smirk forms over Jiwoo’s face. “Are you sure about that? You’re both obviously in love with each other. Like seriously. You make it so obvious. I walked past the meeting room and Kyungsoo was totally staring daggers at Chanyeol. He looked like he was really close to socking him in the mouth or something.”

“Kyungsoo always looks like that when Chanyeol’s around,” you say. “He hates him.”

Jiwoo hums. “Have you ever wondered why he hates him so much?”

“Maybe because he’s so much taller than him, and Kyungsoo has an inferiority complex?”

“Yeah, let’s just go with that until you two come to terms with your feelings.”

“I have come to terms,” you mumble under your breath. “And I don’t like it.”

Jiwoo hears you. She lets out a squeal and kneels down next to your chair. “Wait really?” She whispers. “Are you serious? Fucking finally, I thought I was gonna scream just watching you two not dating for real.”

You groan in frustration. “Don’t tell anyone, please, Jiwoo. I don’t want to love him, if I tell him how I really feel, I think he’ll get scared and awkward and then slowly get more distant from me and then I’ll be left single for the rest of my life, with five cats, but then again, having five cats doesn’t seem too–”

“(Y/N).” Jiwoo interrupts your ranting. “Just stop overthinking it. He probably feels the same way as you.”

You scoff. “Oh really? Sure, yeah totally. Kyungsoo totally is in love with me just as much as I love him. Totally.”

Jiwoo rolls her eyes. “Ha ha, love the sarcasm. But seriously, the way he looks at you, it’s like you’re the night sky or some shit like that. Or maybe it’s like he’s looking at his camera or something. It’s adorable.”

You eye her. “I don’t think Kyungsoo loves his camera in a romantic way, Jiwoo.”

She shrugs as she stands up. “I dunno, honey. He loves that camera more than anything in the world. Except maybe you.”

With that she skips off giggling to herself, leaving you bright red in the face and a scowl. 

The day ends up going much quicker after that. You finish up the column and submit it for assessment, relieved that you got it done with time to spare. You decide to work on researching and trying to find contacts for new designers looking to put their names out there. 

You don’t even realize that it’s the end of the day until Chanyeol shows up in front of your desk, waiting for you expectantly. 

“You ready?” He asks. You nod and swing your backpack across your shoulder. Smiling at you, you both leave the building, giving a wave to your executives. 

Your phone buzzes, multiple times. Turns out Jiwoo was spying on Kyungsoo for you. Wonderful.

Kyungsoo’s sulking

like really he’s sulking and pouting like a baby

wow

he’s such trash for you

how is this possible. 

I think he’s scrolling through his photos of you

holy shit man

he’s trash

i s2g

you are married

face the facts man

I am with CHANYEOL u asshole leave me alone

You guys are married

have fun on ur attempt to make kyungie jealous

which is totally working btw

You can’t help but giggle as you slip your phone into your pocket. Chanyeol looks at you, a soft grin on his face. “Kyungsoo?”

Your head whips around to look at him. “No! It was Jiwoo, gosh, man.”

Chanyeol lets out a laugh. “Wow, quick to deny that, are we?”

You can feel your face getting a little warm. “Well, I don’t want to help feed the idea that Kyungsoo and I are secretly married, now do I?”

He laughs again. You arrive at a different cafe than the usual cafe you go to with Kyungsoo. It would feel a bit strange to bring someone that wasn’t Kyungsoo to that cafe. 

You both order, getting a chocolate muffin to split, an iced mocha for you, and a white chocolate mocha for Chanyeol. Once your drinks were ready, you found a seat near the window and sat down. 

Chanyeol takes a sip of his drink and immediately retracts from it, yelping. “Hot! Holy fuck, that’s hot.”

You laugh. “This is why I got an iced coffee, especially in this 70 degree weather we’re having.”

He sticks his burnt tongue out at you and blows on his coffee. “So, what did you want to talk to me about.”

You bite your lip. “Well, you see, I am in a bit of a predicament.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “How so?”

“Um,ikindasortarealizedthatilovekyungsooanddon’tknowhowtofacemyfeelingsandhim.”

“Mm hmm,” Chanyeol says, taking a sip of his coffee, but this time slower. “And how does that make you feel?”

You groan. “You have no idea what I just said, do you?”

He grins and shakes his head. “No clue. Mind slowing down a bit?”

You take a deep breath. “Okay, so I…I realized that I love Kyungsoo.”

Chanyeol’s grin just grows. “Finally. I had no idea how long I was going to have to wait for you two to discover your feelings for each other.”

This confuses you. “Wait, you’re not upset at all?”

“Why would I be upset about that?” He asks, taking a piece of the muffin and putting it in his mouth. 

“Well, I mean, um, Kyungsoo may have said that you said that you thought that I was cute…and I mean I thought that maybe you liked me…”

Chanyeol laughs again. “I only wanted to ever be your friend! Besides, if I ever even tried to make a move on you, Kyungsoo would kill me. I mean, if I tried to even talk to you while he’s in the same room, I’d probably die. He loves you a lot, but I can tell he’s in denial. He talk about you all the time, that’s why I wanted to get to know you.”

You take a sip of your coffee and shake your head. “It’s just really hard for me to believe people when they say that Kyungsoo loves me. I can’t believe anyone who says Kyungsoo loves me. It doesn’t seem possible at all.”

“Honey, Kyungsoo is in love with you.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true, buddy.” Chanyeol sips his coffee. “If you hear more than one person say that, it’s probably true.”

You scoff. “Yeah, sure. It’s probably just a giant prank or something. How many people are in on this, dude?”

“Look, I’ll tell you what,” he says. “Let’s date.”

This catches you off guard. “Let’s what now?”

He sits back in his seat “Date. Let’s go on a few dates, but make it really obvious that we’re seeing each other.”

“….Why?”

“Kyungsoo is going to hate me so much after this-”

“He already hates you a lot.”

“But if it gets him to realize his damn feelings for you then so be it. It’s getting really annoying hearing him talk about how ‘(Y/N) did this yesterday’ and ‘(Y/N) tripped over a dog today.’ No offense.”

“None taken.”

He leans forward again, elbows on his knees. “So? Will you do it?”

You contemplate this. Maybe seeing Chanyeol would be a good way to get over Kyungsoo. Although Chanyeol just wants to “date” you for the sake of making Kyungsoo jealous (which you highly doubt will actually happen). This could help though. It’s better than telling Kyungsoo how you feel and risking losing your best friend.

You sigh. “Might as well.”

Chanyeol grins. “Let’s do this thing.”

___________________

Chanyeol’s plan is put into action the next day. You had exchanged numbers the previous day, and discussed the details over the night. The next day, you are to eat lunch with Chanyeol, possibly inviting Kyungsoo along if he so happened to be around (which he was most likely going to be). Chanyeol will be blatantly flirting and you’re pretty sure you’ll have to play along. You know this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. Really, trying to possibly make Kyungsoo jealous? You? It was like trying to make a penguin jealous of a cat’s milk or something, it didn’t make sense nor did you think that would ever happen. 

Regardless, when lunch comes around the next day, you wave a brief goodbye to Jiwoo and the rest of the team and leave to find Chanyeol. You still don’t think it’s going to make any effect on Kyungsoo at all. It just seems so ridiculous to you.

You meet Chanyeol outside of your building. He’s wearing an oversized sweatshirt, skinny jeans, and a sly smile on his face. You approach him cautiously. 

“What’s with the face?” you ask, worried that he did something stupid. Again. 

He scratches the back of his neck. “I invited Kyungsoo along with us.”

“Damnit.”

He shrugs. “We were going to invite him along if he was around anyway. I thought I should just do it.”

“And he said he would go to lunch with you?”

“I told him you were going and he immediately changed his mind. He literally growled at me. It was scary.”

You laugh and shake your head. “He’s weird.”

“Who’s weird?”

You swivel around to see Kyungsoo walking up to the both of you, a hard look on his face. Almost by instinct, your heart starts pounding and the butterflies in your tummy start running a marathon. 

“No one,” Chanyeol replies, grinning as he swings an arm across your shoulder casually. Kyungsoo scoffs. 

“Whatever,” he says, a sullen look taking over his face. “Let’s just eat. Where are we going?”

“I was going to let (Y/N) here pick out the place,” Chanyeol says, grinning down at you. You look up at him with wide eyes. 

“Me?” You ask, totally caught off guard. Chanyeol cheerily nods at you, and you glance over at Kyungsoo. He’s fiddling with the camera hanging from his neck and staring across the street at something. “Oh, well, how does Thai sound?”

Chanyeol grins. “Sure, love, whatever you feel like.”

“I thought you hated Thai?” Kyungsoo shoots at Chanyeol, his eyes staring daggers at him. 

“Well, I do,” he begins. “But if my lovely (Y/N) here wants it, then I’m perfectly fine with that.”

Your face turns bright red. 

Your (Y/N)?” Kyungsoo grumbles. “I didn’t realize that she belonged to anybody.”

Can these two please stop? Like really. It’s embarrassing. And kind of terrifying at the same time. Seriously, Kyungsoo looks like he’s been watching too much “How to Get Away With Murder,” and thinks that he can actually get away with it. 

Chanyeol only holds his hands up in surrender. “You’re right, you’re right. She’s not a possession. She’s an angel,” he says, and pinches your cheek. You push his hands away and shrink into yourself. 

“Stop that,” you mumble. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah, you heard her,” Kyungsoo says scowling and adjusting his backpack. “Stop it.”

Chanyeol merely grabs your hand and turns you around. “Lead the way to the Thai, my angel.”

An annoyed grunt is heard from behind you and the butterflies only seem to fly faster.

The Thai place that you chose is absolutely amazing, one of your favourites, and you decide to get take out so you could just bring it back to your buildings. Thankfully, the restaurant isn’t too far from the building so you don’t have to walk far with the warm food. You also don’t have to wait very long to eat the wonderful smelling food. Your stomach grumbles as you walk alongside Kyungsoo, while Chanyeol runs ahead to pet some dogs.

“So…you and Chanyeol, huh?” Kyungsoo asks, almost hesitantly. 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, him and me,” you say awkwardly. “He’s precious.”

“Precious, huh?” He murmurs. “You know how much I can’t stand him. I still don’t understand why you’re with him.”

“Well, I’m not technically with him,” you say. “We’re not an official couple. We just recently started hanging out more.”

“Still,” he mutters. “Ah, it doesn’t matter anyway. You see who you want to see. Just as long as they make you happy.”

On the inside, your heart feels heavy, but on the outside, you smile graciously at him. “Thanks, buddy. I think I will.”

Chanyeol comes leaping back to you and squeals as he takes your hand. “Holy shit those dogs were the cutest things I have ever seen in my life. They were so fluffy and soft and hyper and oh my god I love them.”

You giggle and hold his hand tighter. That does not go unnoticed by Kyungsoo and he looks away. “You’re adorable,” you say. 

Chanyeol grins down at you. “Awe, thanks love. You’re cute too.”

Another annoyed groan sounds from Kyungsoo. 

______________

About a week has passed since the awkward lunch with Kyungsoo. It’s Friday now, you and Chanyeol have met up at least ten times, each time consisting of Chanyeol insisting that his plan is working and Kyungsoo is totally jealous. 

“He literally refused to be in the same group as me when we went to a shoot!” He insists. “He typically just rolls his eyes and doesn’t argue, but this time he straight up refused. Didn’t even give a reason, just glared at me like he was plotting my murder.”

“Isn’t that what he usually does?”

“Yeah, but this time, he looked like he was really going into detail.”

It’s always the same thing. Him insisting that Kyungsoo is in love with you while you both share a chocolate muffin. It’s a change, but you still miss seeing Kyungsoo. You still see him of course, he comes over to yours every once in a while to watch some Ghibli films with you while eating take out, and you occasionally go over to his to get some cooking tips (he ends up cooking an entire meal for you, not that you’re complaining). It’s sweet, but the atmosphere feels different. A bit strained, contained in a way, like he’s not telling you something. Maybe he got a girlfriend? No, he probably would have told you that big of a detail. 

Chanyeol decides to bring you out to some fancy restaurant in order to fuel his plan. It’s this beautifully built, gorgeous restaurant that has like four dollar signs on Yelp or something. You really don’t know the purpose of going there (you also realize that you tend to not understand half of what’s going on anymore) but you decide to treat yourself to dressing up and going out with a good friend. So you agree. Chanyeol is ecstatic when you let him know and immediately asks what colour your dress will be so he can match his tie. You just give him a “I’m-so-done-with-you” look and move on. He only laughs. 

You’ve told Kyungsoo about the “date” with Chanyeol, and he insists to come over before you go so he can help you get ready. Reluctantly, you agree and he arrives about ten minutes later with some muffins. 

“I made muffins to send to my mom, but I made too many,” he says, holding them out to you. “So I decided I could give the rest to you.”

You hope you’re not blushing as you take the delicious smelling muffins and grin up at him. “Bless you, Soo, bless you.”

A heart-shaped smile grows over his face. 

He sits on your bed as you search through your closet for a dress appropriate for the occasion. You don’t really have a lot of choices, but you manage to narrow down your options to two of the nice dresses you have out of the three. 

“So…” Kyungsoo awkwardly begins. “Fancy date with Chanyeol…tonight. Where’s he taking you?”

You shrug and hold the two dresses up to him. “Some fancy place by the name of Danielle, I think. Red or black?”

“Black,” he says, looking at the two, and sighs. “I still think my cooking is better, just saying.”

You giggle. “I know, Soo, I know. Your cooking is the best I’ve yet to have. I doubt that this five star restaurant can top your marinated beef with asparagus.”

Kyungsoo grins triumphantly and you shoot a grin back at him before going into the bathroom to change. 

The dress is an off the shoulder number with flowing sleeves, kind of like medieval style, that goes down to your mid thigh. It’s a bit tight, hugging everything quite nicely, actually. You never really took a good look at it before now, but now that you’re actually looking at it on yourself in the mirror, you like what you see. You take a deep breath before going out of the bathroom to show Kyungsoo. 

“So? How does it look?” 

He turns around from looking at the photos on your wall and his mouth slightly drops open. You can feel your face turning red again. 

“Its…definitely on you,” he says. 

You roll your eyes. “Really, Soo, does it look okay?”

He hesitates before answering. “Yes, you look absolutely stunning.”

You nod and give him a gracious smile before getting a dark red choker to wear and your heels. You’d much rather be doing so much at this moment. You’d prefer to be helping Kyungsoo make something for dinner in your pajamas before settling down to watch a rerun of a drama. But if Chanyeol is going to literally go to such extreme lengths to get Kyungsoo to “confess” or whatever, you might as well go along with it. It’s kind of fun, you can’t lie, and hanging out with Chanyeol is always entertaining. 

You slip your heals on and lace the choker around your neck. Your hair has already been curled and pinned half up half down. It’s a nice look, you decide, and check the time. 7:26. Chanyeol should be here any minute to pick you up. You look over at Kyungsoo. He’s still looking at your pictures, and his eyes seem like they’re glued to this on photo of you and him. 

That photo was always your favourite. You two had gone to Jeju island that day, with Kyungsoo’s friend Jongdae. Jongdae had taken a candid picture of you two laughing at something a seagull had done. Kyungsoo had his arm slung around your shoulder, and you were smiling up at him, mid laugh. Just seeing that picture made you feel all warm and happy. Even before you realized your feelings, that picture always made you feel like that. Safe, warm, and a bit nostalgic of the past. 

You come up behind Kyungsoo and open your mouth to say something, but your phone buzzes, and you know that it’s probably Chanyeol telling you he’s here. Kyungsoo sighs, as though he knows what that buzz means too and tears his eyes away from the picture to look at you. 

You pick up your phone and grab your wallet, before confirming that yes, Chanyeol is here to pick you up. You both make your way to your door to grab your coat in case it gets cold tonight. Turning to face Kyungsoo, you open your mouth to say something, but he beats you to it.

“Make sure he treats you right,” Kyungsoo says, almost sadly. He looks a bit defeated and tired, now that you’re really looking at him. He seems like he hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately and just looks really down. Your heart feels compressed in your chest at the thought of him not feeling well lately. All you want to do is get him into bed, nice and warmly bundled up and make him some soup and tea. But you know at this time, you can’t do that. Chanyeol is waiting downstairs. So instead, you smile at him, feeling somewhat empty that you aren’t going to the restaurant with Kyungsoo. 

“I will,” you say, putting a hand on his shoulder and nodding. “I’ll report it all to you tomorrow, okay?”

He nods, and opens the door for you. “Have fun, love.”

You nod in acknowledgement and smile again. “See you later, Soo.”

And with that you exit your apartment, feeling forlorn at ever being able to love Kyungsoo. 

___________

Kyungsoo watches from your doorway as you leave, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. Unlike you, who realized how you felt only about a week ago, Kyungsoo here has been keeping everything hidden and suppressed inside of him for about two and a half years. It hurt to see you with someone else, especially if that person was Chanyeol. He was always a bit jealous of Chanyeol. Who wouldn’t be? Chanyeol is tall, obviously attractive, with a charismatic personality and multi-talented. He’s everything Kyungsoo thinks he’s not. And now, he has you. 

He sighs and steps out of your apartment, closing the door behind him. He feels as though he’s officially lost you. He knows you’ll still be there, but only as a friend, and not as his partner for life. But that role has been taken by Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol. Why him? It still makes Kyungsoo angry (which might be spurred by the jealousy, but y’know) and he still doesn’t know why Chanyeol would ever go for you. Is he even really your type? You like cats, and Chanyeol likes dogs. There you go. Pure, scientific evidence why you two would be terrible together. It just wouldn’t work. Sure, Kyungsoo knows you also love dogs, but he knows for a fact that you’ve always wanted a cat. Kyungsoo groans. 

Why was he just sitting around and not trying to tell you how he feels? He knows all he’s done really is ask why you chose Chanyeol, but your responses were all vague and didn’t sound right to him. It all sounded like you were hiding something. Was Chanyeol somehow blackmailing you to go out with him? That bastard. 

He tries to think back to the restaurant you were going to. Danielle… sounds fancy, that’s for sure. He thinks he might as well go and check out this place for himself. He does, after all, have a cooking hobby, and checking out restaurants that are supposed to have good food is kind of part of that hobby. And what’s the harm in checking in on your date?

On the bus to the restaurant, Kyungsoo tries to convince himself that what he’s doing is totally normal. Best friends check in on each other’s dates all the time, right? It’s totally normal to not trust or like your best friend’s potential suitor, right? Completely normal to hate the idea of your best friend leaving you for someone else, right? Yeah, completely, 100% normal. 

The restaurant is certainly fancy, he admits when he gets there. It’s big, with about three stories. Tall windows line the edge of the building, giving passerby’s a perfect view directly into the elegant restaurant. And that’s exactly what it gives Kyungsoo. A perfect view of you and Chanyeol laughing together. 

He’s sat across from you, with your back to the window. You’re obviously laughing and having a nice time with Chanyeol as he cracks another joke. Kyungsoo’s heart starts cracking in his chest. So…so this is actually happening you’re actually with Chanyeol. He hates to admit it, you two make a beautiful couple. You’re both free-spirited and kind people. 

His heart officially shatters when he sees Chanyeol bring out a box, probably holding a ring or a necklace. He can’t watch it anymore. So he runs. He turns and runs away, not even knowing where his feet are taking him. He told himself he was just there to check out the cooking, but how could he even do that if you’re there with Chanyeol? Having a wonderful time, laughing and…and being in love. He was lying to himself. He didn’t go there to scope out the cooking. He went there to see if you were actually, truly serious. And after a week of thinking that it was impossible that you could ever consider Chanyeol as a potential suitor, he found himself wrong. That’s it. You and Chanyeol…that was actually happening. And Kyungsoo can’t do anything to ruin that. You’re happy with him. And if you’re happy, then he’s happy. 

Actually, no he’s not happy. He hates how he feels. Hating Chanyeol even more, feeling selfish for you, and despising himself even more. It sucks. 

He finds himself outside of your apartment with his phone out. He slides down the wall beside your door and pulls up Chanyeol’s number. The more he thought of you moving on, leaving Kyungsoo behind, marrying Chanyeol, having four children, with three dogs and living in the suburbs, far from Kyungsoo, the more angry he got. Chanyeol didn’t deserve you. You were too good for him, too pure. Chanyeol would never deserve you. 

In a spur of anger, Kyungsoo texts Chanyeol. 

Get your ass to work. There’s a problem with the photos and apparently you’re the only one who can fix them. And yes, they even called me in. Not my fault. 

Kyungsoo reads what he sent over and over again. A few seconds later, it was read. Fuck. Oh he fucked up. He totally fucked up. He ruined your date. All because of his damn conflicting feelings. Fuck. He knew he ruined your nice date. He ruined it he ruined it. You’re going to hate him now. Fuck, you’re going to totally hate him once you learn that the text was a lie. 

He groans and starts hitting his head on the wall. Oh, he totally fucked up. 

___________

Chanyeol’s phone buzzes and he looks at it. Then laughs. 

“What is it?” you ask, spearing a mushroom on your fork. 

He laughs again. “Our poor Kyungsoo just texted me, saying there was an emergency with the photos at work. He told me to ‘get my ass to work.’”

“Well then?” You inquire. “Aren’t you gonna go?”

Chanyeol looks at you. “Honey, there is most certainly no emergency at work. We had already submitted the pictures today, I think. Kyungsoo’s just being a little jealous shit, that’s all.”

You roll your eyes. “Sure, buddy. I still think you should go just in case, though. What if he wasn’t kidding?”

“I’m fairly certain he just wants to get me away from you,” Chanyeol says. “But if you insist, I’ll actually go check. Do you need a ride back?”

“Nah,” you say, signaling for the check. “I think I’m good.”

“You sure?” He asks. “I thought it was supposed to rain tonight.”

“I think I can get home in time, before it starts pouring.”

Chanyeol shrugs. “Or, you could just call your prince charming and get him-”

“I can get home in time, Chanyeol,” you insist as the check arrives and you thank the waiter. “I’ll be fine. Just go.”

“Okay, fine,” he says and takes out his credit card. “But just saying this dinner’s on me.”

“Fine by me, bud.”

Chanyeol leaves after he gets his card back, saying something like, “Go get ‘em tiger,” or something cliche like that. You decide to finish your pasta before leaving. They make some damn good pasta here, so of course you’re going to finish every last bit of it. It’s got pesto that you love with sautéed mushrooms and grilled chicken. Damn, it’s some good stuff. Seriously. 

By the time you finish, you come to the conclusion that you were wrong. It is raining outside. And it seems like it’s raining hard. You groan in frustration. Of course it’s raining. You had thought that it would at least wait until you got home, but nope. Rain waits for no one. 

You end up taking a cab home, not wanting to go onto a bus in such fancy attire. Regardless, as you get out of the taxi, you get quite soaked, even in the few seconds that you’re outside. Your dress is quite soaked, and with the slight breeze and chill air conditioner inside, you’re getting cold quickly, so you try to make it to your apartment before you catch hypothermia or something. 

The elevator ride is awkward, especially when a businessman walks into the elevator with you, making you feel quite awkward with your soaking wet self and his tailored suit. When you get to your floor, you quickly exit the elevator and take off your heals to jog to your door. 

What’s sitting outside of your door though, that’s what surprises you. Kyungsoo is sitting outside your apartment, knees tucked up to his chest and his head resting on his arms on his knees. He looks like he’s been sleeping as you approach him, his eyes opening slightly too look at you. Immediately, he jumps up and swallows, blinking the sleep from his eyes. 

“You-you’re back,” he says, shaking his head to help wake him up. 

“I thought there was a problem at work?” you ask, moving around him to open your door. 

“You’re soaking wet!”

You glare at him as he follows you into your apartment. “Thanks for stating the obvious, buddy. But what about the emergency at work?”

His face turns red. “Well, that-that was not technically a–”

You spin around to look at him. “Are you telling me that I got soaking wet because there wasn’t actually an emergency? Come on, Kyungsoo. I was having a great time with him, why would you–”

“Because I want you to be having a great time with me, not him!”

Your heart stops. “Soo, I do have a great time with you, all the time, whenever I’m with you.”

“Then why are you with him then? Huh? If you’re always spending your time with him, how are you sure that you have a great time with me?”

You hesitate before responding. “Because Chanyeol likes me romantically not just platonically! I’m tired to being single! I actually want to date someone now, and Chanyeol is–”

“I want to date you too!” Kyungsoo exclaims. Your brain officially stops working. You open your mouth to respond but he beats you to it. “I want to date you. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one who you want to spend all your time with. I want to be able to hold you, and kiss you. I can love you romantically, I do love you romantically. I love you in every way possible, okay? I just want to be that person for you! I can be that person for you, so why are you with him? Tell me why please!” He looks serious. 

You can only stare at him, mouth gaping. “Are you–”

Kyungsoo groans in frustration, running his hands through his hair. “I just fucked everything up, didn’t I? Fuck, I’m so sorry. You’ll probably never want to see me again. God, I’m so sorry (Y/N). Please just forget I said anything. I’m so so sorry. I’ll leave now.”

“Don’t you fucking move, Do Kyungsoo.” Your voice is firm and he freezes. He’s already turned around away from you. There is no way in hell you’d ever think that he would be standing in front of you, telling you the words you thought were impossible. Obviously, you were wrong. He’s there, and he’s telling you those words. 

“You love me?” you ask tentatively. “Like you actually, really love me?”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before answering, still not facing you. “I do.”

A giant grin comes over your face, and you leap onto his back, kissing his cheek. He yelps in surprise, grabbing at your arms on instinct. You wrap your legs around his waist and hug him like a koala. 

“You’re fucking stupid,” you say. “I love you too, penguin-man. I love everything about you. I fucking love your cooking, and the fact that you have penguin boxers. I love how you make sure I’m okay when I’m sick and I love how you make sure I remember to eat. I just really fucking love you, okay?”

Kyungsoo laughs happily, turning his head to try to look at you. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m fucking serious, Soo!”

He stares into your eyes, his sparkling ones looking deep into your own. “Can I kiss you?”

You nod excitedly. Kyungsoo swoops in, placing a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away. He grins and you jump off of his back so he can kiss you again, properly this time. 

“I can still kiss you right,” he says, pulling you close to him and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“Yes, yes you can,” you say grinning, pulling him down for another kiss. 

A/N: So that’s that! I hope it was good, please let me know! I really want to know if it’s good or not. I literally spent like a week writing this thing, so that’s why it’s so long. Thanks for reading it, and please let me know what you guys think! I’ll try to write more often now, okay? Have a lovely day! 

-Sadie :)