i had to do this because it's just so damn good

My First One Star Review on AirBnB

Story by shawk11/reddit

Buckle up boys and girls. My buddy and I just experienced some grade-A Creepyshit while on a trip to Red Rocks in Colorado. I write a lot of things down anyway and so I figured I might as well post the story here and see what you guys think.

So who here has used AirBnB? raises hand. I think I’ve used it no less than twenty times. All great experiences up until this point, seriously.

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I had promised a KiriBaku kid something like months ago, and tbh most of the reason why it took me this long is because I couldn’t pick between these two so?? In the end just have them both I guess - some info about them under cut, in case you wanna know more!!

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Side to Side

Pairing: Tom Holland!Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Prompts: None

Word Count: 2465

Warning(s): Some swear words, slight smut (Nothing crazy but it goes there)

Requests: I have like 10 followers so like none of you pay attention to me (jk jk you guys are cool)

Song: Side to Side  (duh) by Ariana Grande

Author’s Note: This is kinda crap but I’m totally obsessed with Tom Holland and Spider-Man Homecoming so come on this wild ride and be trash with me! Give me feedback please I promise I’ll get to it in like 10 years

Summary: Reader and Peter (slant rhyme woo) are friends and both on the Avengers. They’re training in the gym and things get s t e a m y…

Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

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Urban Spell Components

So, as an urban witch, I have a thing for weird spell components. Probably people have done this before, but i’m going to go ahead and throw mine out there. I’m going to try and do several of these.

First things simple, any small object can be enchanted to do anything you want it to. I have been known to grab small objects and just drop an enchantment on them cause i need a magical object right then and it’s what I have at hand. So don’t be afraid to grab anything you want and drop a blessing, curse, glamor, or basically any kind of spell you want on it.

Hell, my most popular post ever on this hellsite out of four blogs is a jinx using pennies. Make of that as you will.

Onwards.

Soda Tabs:

I mean, come on. It’s a tiny piece of metal. All the potential.

But more importantly, it’s a symbol. On the one hand, it represents a seal and on the other it represents a key.

Want to not just lock something up, but make it airtight, completely and utterly closed? Stick a tab in your spell.

Need a charm to open doors to you, to open people to you, to make friends more easily? Soda tab pendant, or in a mojo bag.

Want to release pressure, vent power, or make a magical bomb? What do we know that pops pressurized containers? Soda tabs.

In the more abstract sense, they’re associated with effervescense. Need to be more bubbly, more sparkly, more light and sweet? Work a tab into your spell as a symbol of releasing that into the world.

Want a variation and like the idea of provenance? Get one from a beer can and use it to symbolically relax your inhibitions so you can be more open to people, cut loose easier, and so on.

Bottle Caps

All that shit I just said about tabs? Conceivably, you could use that shit with a bottle cap. But you could also do a number of other shit.

Now, some y'all may notice I used a screw cap rather than a metal cap. That’s reasons.

Bottle caps make great curse anchors, for one simple reason that can be summed up in two words: “screw you.” Eh? Eh? Who doesn’t like a good pun in their magic?

You can use them to close things, true, but you can also use them as a valve. Ever had to open a soda slowly to release the pressure a little at a time? Now imagine using that as a component. Where the tab is a sudden release, the cap can be metered. There’s a host of reason to use it in that capacity.

Need a charm to help control your third eye? Crank it up or close it down with a bottle cap.

Bottle energy by filling a soda bottle with a charged medium and set it to slow release with a cap only partially sealed.

Need a charm like the soda tab to be open and effervescent, but don’t want it always on? Bottle cap.

And, of course, there’s the lovely little spikes on the damn things. Ever step on one? Yeouch.

Press into your palm if you’re doing an evil eye and want to transmit pain. Add to wards as a deterrent. Work it into curses as a literal stumbling point.

Want to take your sympathetic sacrifice to the next level? Stick one in your shoe for a day and use it to charge up an inconvenience or pain curse, or flip the script and use the pain as a sacrifice to pull down good luck, good fortune, or blessings by trading bad now for good later.

(This, as a sidenote, will work with anything uncomfortable in your shoe.)

Ballpoint Pens

Ok, so at the basic, you can write spells and draw sigils with them. Let’s get that out the way to start.

Moving right along, one of the other basic uses is as a stand in for a wand. The pen makes indelible marks, so it can be added into the casting to make a spell more durable.

But the real fun begins when you consider: it can be taken apart.

Want to banish something? Consider how fricken easy it is to lose a pen. Get a piece of paper and write what or who you want gone. Make it small, because the next thing you’re going to do is open the pen up and wrap that paper around the ink tube. Stick the whole thing back together. Let nature take its course, and when the pen is gone, so’s the issue.

(While I won’t tell you not to use this to banish things that can become someone else’s problem, this is best for things and people that you just want out of your life, not problems you want to pass along.)

And that ability to make scrolls has a thousand and one uses!

Make a lucky pen. Make a money pen, so every time you write a check or balance your books, you call money back to you.

Make a wand more potent. Make cheap and effective curse artillery. Curse that shit and set it loose, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Make a homing missile by writing a targeted spell in it and setting it loose to seek an approproiate target.

Make a whole bunch of lucky pens and cut them loose to bless everyone.

Make a pen to help you with your handwriting, spellcraft, and what not.

And that’s not even getting into blessing a pen so the ink can be used to draw temporary tattoos on your skin that have extra potency, or sigils that are primed for charging, or for magical vandalism. (Vandalize at your own risk.)

Go Wild!

So that’s it for this one. I'mm try and sit down and explain more of this shit that i do in the hopes that you fuckers get some use out of it.

Go forth and be magical!

i keep seeing posts on here about how uma and harry aren’t relevant because harry flirts with everyone and while i’ve seen a couple posts defending them as a ship…. i just wanna tell you why you’re wrong… with gif evidence. sit back, y’all.

as i said before, the first “evidence” is that harry flirts with everyone but the problem is that y’all are confusing his tantalizing tactics with “flirting” because of thomas’ natural sex appeal. don’t believe me? here’s some examples of harry looking at various characters that aren’t uma.

let’s start with mal because people mainly use this one from what i’ve seen. and while the chemistry is there between them, i think that’s fair to say that its because DOVE AND THOMAS ARE A COUPLE and very obviously had something there during filming.

here we have harry right before telling mal that he could hurt her… a tantalizing tactic because he wants to KILL her:

and here we have his reaction after it didn’t quite go as planned where he genuinely looks annoyed as hell:

and since i know someone will bring up him blowing a kiss to mal… that’s after successfully pissing her and the rest of the vks off… like come ON. he had a successful reaction to his tantalizing yet AGAIN.

and after mal, you’ve got jay and ben.. which, okay. in theory they could be nice ships, but i also need you to think about the fact that he’s literally tantalizing them in every scene he shares with them. when harry is seen with ben he either is torturing him on the plank, fighting him on the ship, or ‘goochie goochie goo’ing him before uma steps in to intervene.. plus the whole “how’s it feel to be a king now” bit where he’s trying to get a reaction from him. and as for jay… again, you only see them fighting on the ship and then the scene in the alley where he’s LITERALLY trying to piss jay off. that’s what he wants. here’s some gif evidence of both:

tantalizing:

and after having a satisfying reaction:

tantalizing:

and after successfully pissing jay off:

now… *inhales deeply* his reactions with uma. let’s get to the good shit.


when we first see uma and harry, they’re in the chip shop and the first thing that happens is her bringing the plate of food and slamming it down… and that’s where he goes to eat and she pushes his arm up and allows her to do as she pleases without becoming angry. whereas when mal touched him in the hair salon, he had a fit of rage and knocked everything off the counter. carrying on from that same scene, he watches as uma becomes angry and yells at the tv and decides to join in right after her even though no one else does until they’re instructed to.

and then again we have the moment a few moments later when uma is talking about how mal betrayed them and… i’m sorry…. his lip biting, y’all.

then we have some scenes that weren’t in the movie, but were in the music video in which harry…. who is insanely protective of his hook, allows uma to use it. check this out.

now there’s about a million other scenes, so i’m not gonna describe every single one of them, but i’m gonna say this and then leave you with the rest of the evidence i’ve got at hand.

uma tells him to do something and he does it without hesitation. he doesn’t second guess her, he doesn’t ask why.. he just acts. apart from the times he made the comment about “never being allowed to have any fun” and then the “you said i could hook him” but i don’t see that as an argument. she puts him in his place and he ALLOWS her to. uma was also the only character in the movie who could calm harry down or stop him from his crazy ass outbursts. the scene in the chip shop where gil called uma shrimpy and uma put her hand on harry’s arm as if to tell him that it’s fine? iconic. AS SEEN HERE:

“harry. we get it. chill.” iconic. “give it a rest, harry! give it rest!” ICONIC.

carrying on.

(peep that grin after she shoves him)

this post has become incredibly long and if you’ve made it this far… congratulations, but HARRY AND UMA ARE IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT AND I WON’T HEAR ANYMORE ABOUT IT.

oh, and also. don’t even get me started on how he takes his hat off, kneels to be eye to eye, and then says her name with the utmost respect and adoration. if you didn’t ship them after this then… who even are you?

gif credits: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Destiel, Bi!Dean and preparing the audience for a “shocker”.

I just did a re-watch of 12x10 and it really got me thinking again about Benjamin and Cas’s talk in the car with the boys about Benjamin and his female vessel.

At the time the episode aired, I think I was so excited about the prospect of Cas being in a female vessel, and how this could potentially shift a heteronormative audiences perception of Dean and Cas that I didn’t realise just what else they were trying to do.

This is about reassurance.

This is the conversation that was had in the car:

CAS: Benjamin is always very careful. Long ago, he found a powerfully devout vessel in Madrid, and her faith, it… she gave him everything – her trust and her body.

DEAN: Wait. So Benjamin’s a woman?

CAS: Benjamin is an angel. His vessel is a woman. But it – it’s – it’s more than that. She’s not just his vessel.

Just this small exchange is important as exposition for the audience. It is about preparing the audience for what is coming up. The idea that Cas was also once ‘a woman’. Which, okay, no he wasn’t a woman, he just had a female vessel, but imagine how that would have gone down had this exchange not taken place? Imagine how a general audience would have reacted to Cas and his female vessel had Benjamin just been another angel in a male vessel?

Probably a lot like the way Dean acted here, with confusion.

By giving us the Benjamin character and this particular scene as well, the writer has successfully prepared the audience for Cas in his female vessel. Preventing raised eyebrows and confusion because the audience will remember this conversation and apply it to Cas.

“Castiel is an angel, his vessel WAS a woman. His vessel is now a man, Cas is still a dude and it’s not weird. Cool beans.”

(when I think of a general audience watching SPN lets just say that I certainly don’t think of the fandom or tumblr. I think of my brother and that is something I won’t get into here. Heteronormative doesn’t even begin to cover it.)

The fact is, making one of your three main lead male characters a woman for an episode is a weird thing to do, the kind of thing that would probably make some audience members uncomfortable. So adding in this exposition, this reassurance, removes that level of discomfort, it gets them used to the idea first, like a buffer.

See for a show like SPN, whilst its always been a bit weird with its story lines, it’s never been all that progressive. As much as we would all like to wish that all SPN viewers were like us – liberal forward thinking people who are willing and eager for TV to break a few taboos – the chances are that is very much not the case. Its an old show, it has an established audience (apparently a bipartisan audience amazingly) and therefore breaking boundaries the way more modern shows have (such as American Gods, How to Get Away with Murder and Orange is the New Black) just isn’t really in the cards. Those shows established the taboo stories, the queer main characters, the representation, from the start. They built their audience on those foundations. SPN can’t do that without isolating part of its audience – unless it thinks very carefully as to how it may present such notions.

I hope I am explaining this in a way that makes sense. See this is of course about Bi!Dean and Destiel (as if anything on my blog WASN’T about those topics). Because here’s the thing. On any other, newer show, for Dean to come out as bisexual, for two male lead characters to enter into a homosexual relationship, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Those shows could build their audience around those concepts, because they would be ingrained into the show from the start.

For Supernatural, that sadly isn’t the case. SPN didn’t clearly establish Dean as Bisexual early on, and Destiel isn’t canon, it has always been the subject to interpretation with just enough ‘no homo’ so that anyone who chooses not to see it doesn’t have to (again, excluding 12x19 but we’ll get there)

One of the biggest hurdles to getting bi!dean and canon destiel, is for the SPN creators to overcome this fear that half their audience would reject them if they actually went there. It would be seen as coming ‘out of the blue’ and all those heteronormative people would raise their eyebrows and moan and be utterly confused by it.

That’s why Supernatural needs the buffers. It needs the gradual exposition, the subtle desensitisation of a general audience to anything even mildly “progressive”. If Supernatural wasn’t putting these buffers in place already, I would think we would have a problem. I would be much more apprehensive at even the idea that destiel could be a thing that is actually happening.

What is so fantastic, is that just like in 12x10 with the fem!Cas buffer that was Benjamin, we have already been getting buffers all throughout the last few seasons.

Here are some of my favourites:

  • Jesse x Cesar – 11x19 – These guys are my absolute favourite, they were created specifically to show the audience that you can be a gay man and also a macho man. That gay men aren’t stereotypes, that hunters can be gay and settle down and especially that gay romance doesn’t change the theme of the story. The big take away from this episode is that it shows the general audience that men like Dean Winchester can be gay/bisexual.
  • Hannah – 10x17 – This was a real eye opener for any Cas x Hannah shippers. Because Cas didn’t treat Hannah any different, and he had exactly the same warmth and affection for Hannah in her male vessel that he did in her female vessel. Basically this was a nice punch in the face for any homophobes watching. SPN doesn’t care about your heteronormative ships. You wanna ship Hannah x Cas? Fine! But Hannah’s in a dudes body now and guess what? Cas doesn’t care! How do you feel about THAT?
  • God is Bisexual – 11x20 – This was just a nice big fuck you to homophobes everywhere. Don’t like queer characters? This is NOT the show for you! Because in our world even GOD is queer! Yay for LGBT representation! It works as a buffer because once again it is sending a message to the general audience that this is the kind of thing you can expect on our show. We are changed now.
  • Dean rides Larry – 12x11 – Okay so maybe it’s not an obvious buffer, but it is kind of a subliminal message so I’m counting it. Dean riding that damn bull was the most sexual scene we have had on this show in seasons (and no that god awful thing that happened in 12x02 doesn’t count – nor does the same god awful thing from 12x08). The jokes alone, the sexual innuendos. This entire episode is loaded with subliminal messages basically screaming at the general audience to maybe just consider the fact that Dean likes guys.
  • 12x06/12x20 – Max Banes – like Jesse and Cesar Max works as a buffer because he is another way to get the general audience used to the idea that characters that are similar to Dean Winchester can be queer and it’s no big deal. Max is badass, funny, smart and charming and also 100% canonically queer (whether gay or bi we know textually that he is totally into dudes). Sam and Dean don’t bat an eyelid at his sexuality, so neither should the audience. It is just one part of his character and certainly not what his story is all about. Max is proof that you can have a queer character who is a badass and a hunter whose story is basically nothing to do with their sexuality. Their sexuality just happens to be a part of who they are.
  • And finally – Destiel – season 12 – I’m making this its own buffer because honestly? There is no way to view Dean and Cas’s relationship as non-romantic at this point. I think that the writers have slowly been turning up the dial on Destiel probably since 11x18. 12x19 really drummed it in for us though. The angel/human love themes of 12x10, the textual “I love you” in 12x12, the MIXTAPE and everything else about 12x19. This is all preparation. It is indeed a build up to a reveal. Destiel is it’s own buffer and even if people do still accuse it of ‘coming out of nowhere’ once it goes canon, all the writers have to do is gesture at season 12 and the fucking mixtape scene and say to those people “in what universe does the gifting of a mixtape between people who are not explicitly related NOT have romantic connotations?” Only a fool would argue with that if they had any knowledge of pop culture history. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on that. A show with a long established audience about to make a move that could potentially appear (but not really) out of left field would need to build up that move through a series of well thought out buffers, symbols, themes and subliminal messages before actually making it.

Like how Benjamin was the writers way of normalising Cas’s female vessel, the past two seasons have been a journey to normalise bi!dean and destiel in preparation for making both of these things explicitly canon. Yes we still have a way to go - it still needs to be stated explicitly in the text that Dean is into guys, in love with Cas bla bla bla, but we are getting there.

In summary. Destiel is endgame. Dean is bisexual. The general audience better learn to throw their heteronormative goggles in the bin because this is the state of this show right now, and it is good. 

You know what I like about artists?

That…every single thing they do it’s amazing.

I’m not even kidding, like, the doodles, man. The doodles are my favorite thing ever because they are just so small, carefree, and fun.

I have a few artist friends, and they sometimes share their stuff in our squad chat and it’s always good to see the doodles because they light up my day. 

I think the doodles are my favorite part of art.

And this is just a guess here, bc I’m no artist in the sense of drawing so I wouldn’t know for sure, but I can just imagine that …every artist is so at ease while doodling and they don’t think much of it and yet it’s amazing on its own way once it’s done. 

Like, this is coming from someone who has like, zero talent in drawing ok? So, believe me when I say that I’m in A W E by every single piece of art. 

I see a lot of art/fanart where they go like ‘oh it’s just a doodle psssssh’ and whenever they are joking or not, I fall in love with it because damn, look at that.

To be able to let every single drop of creativity you have inside you and let it run smoothly across a tablet, paper, or whatever you draw in, it’s incredible. 

I wish I could do that, I really wish so, but I can’t; which is okay ofc, got my talents somewhere else. 

Like, for me, for instance, as a writer, it really takes me…well a while tbh, to come up with a cool thing. Sure, I can ramble about the idea, and expand it a lil, but like, it’s not the final product. 

Doodles? Doodles are art whenever they are finished or not. Maybe that’s just the way I see it? Small, tiny, carefre, charming, cute, for fun. 

*shrugs* I don’t know, man, it’s something that has been on my mind, but I really hope that every artist out there appreciate their own doodles bc I think they are cute and good. 

So, keep up the good work guys, because someone out there appreciate your art, no matter how small you think it is. <3

Lana Del Rey says Donald Trump helped shape her album ‘Lust For Life’ — and the world needs feminism more than ever.
The singer has returned to the world of music with her fourth studio album in five years.

By Jacqui Swift for The Sun (UK).

LANA DEL REY’s latest album glitters with an all-star cast.
On ‘Lust For Life,’ her most impressive album yet, Lana teams up with heavyweights such as The Weeknd, Stevie Nicks, Sean Ono Lennon and A$AP Rocky.

They are the first collaborations in her career so far, which spans five studio albums, including four in the past five years — an impressive work rate for the Los Angeles-based star.

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Try to get rid of me in an overseas big city? We'll get rid of you instead.

(long story. tl;dr at the end)

Context:

Back in 2011 me and my immediate family traveled to Saudia Arabia for Umrah, or what’s known as the lesser pilgramage. You visit Makkah, make rounds around the Kaabah, pray with all your heart and soul, you get the picture. My dad and I were excited because we were all about going on a spiritual journey and casting away the problems of the world - but as it turns out, some problems just wouldn’t leave us.

As soon as we landed in Jeddah’s airport, our plan was to take a taxi to Makkah and get the Umrah done while we were still gung-ho about God. However, we were instead diverted to our relatives’ house in Jeddah, where we discovered that 4 or 5 of my mothers’ relatives and their families had gathered up and spontaneously crashed in my grandfather’s house for one giant family reunion. Naturally, my dad and I, as well as my maternal grandfather, were really upset over this development as my mom’s side of the family is full of … for the lack of a more polite word, the shady folks. Most of them I was on good terms with, but once I realized that my least favorite Uncle and Aunt had come with the crew, my enthusiasm just deflated like a balloon.

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Going on a Road Trip with Peter Parker would include..

- aunt may driving both of y’all headasses

- you thought one of you was driving?

- please

- last time peter had control of a car tony ended up paying 20 thousand in repairs

- he snuck you into headquarters at like 2 am because that seemed like the greatest idea

- ended up having peter back into a wall after stepping on it when he wasn’t supposed to

- story of his life amirite

- aunt may taking both you and peter down to coney island for the weekend

- despite the 40 minute ride its the closest you two get to a road trip

- leaving at the crack of dawn to get to the rides early

- peter having the cutest lil hoodie on with the brightest smile on his face

- but also being unreasonably energetic at 7 in the morning

- ‘(y/n)imsohappythatyou’rehereohmygodarentyouexcited’

- ‘peter i haven’t seen you for five minutes and i already want you to shut up’

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dating peter parker would include...

Dating ((Tom Holland)) Peter Parker Would Include… || Peter Parker x Reader

a/n: not like my usual imagines but i thought this would be fun! :-) also this is pretty dumb but i enjoy it!! SORRY THIS WAS LONG BUT I HAD FUN and i didn’t want to leave too long of a break before the next imagine


  • before you were dating though peter would’ve been so scared to even approach you tbh
    • “there she is, go talk to her! hey (Y/N)!”
    • “oH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE–oh hi (Y/N)!”
  • and then, when pete finally got the balls to ask you out, he would almost cry out of happiness when you said yes
  • like when you say yes, peter is already waiting for rejection, so he flips his shit
  • he would also be so awkward while asking it, fiddling with his sleeves
    • “hey (Y/N), I was wondering if…I dunno maybe…if…you would…”
    • “are you okay peter? Is there something you want to say??”
    • “will you go out with me?!?”
    • “yes!!”
    • (internally) “HOLY SHIT FUCKING FUCK YESSSSS!!!! HELL YEAH!!!”
    • (externally) “ok cool, yeah see you tonight (Y/N)”
  • then when it’s time for the date peter takes you out to dinner bc he’s classy
  • he’ll take you somewhere expensive and nice because he needs to impress
  • peter sHOWING UP IN A SUIT!! AND STARING AT YOU BC YOU’RE GORGEOUS
    • “hey peter!! you look great!!”
    • he just stutters and is like “yeah..you look great too..damn”
  • then the date goes perfectly and leads to loads of other dates
  • and he’s super respectful and treats yOU RIGHT!! GET YOU A MAN LIKE THAT!!
  • when he asks you to be his girlfriend he’s just as nervous as asking you out
    • “hey (Y/N)…”
    • “what’s wrong peter??”
    • “will you be my girlfriend?”
    • “yes!!”
  • and when you guys are official he still asks for your permission to do things
    • “can i kiss you?”
    • “oh my god of course you can we’re dATING”
  • whenever you’re insecure about whatever your man is THERE
    • “i swear, you are the most amazing person i’ve ever met”
  • and he tells you that he’s spiderman after you’ve been dating for about 2 months
  • you (understandably) freak the fuck out for his safety and general well being
  • him assuring you that he’ll be safe, and that because of you he’ll be even more careful because if he gets hurt you’ll have to date someone that’s not him
  • which is “unjust” and “practically a crime”
  • also peter is always so ecstatic when you do literally anything
    • “yes babe! good job!!”
    • “babe all i did was finish this worksheet wtf”
  • also that boy has a fucking great body is all i’m sayin
  • and i’m just saying that y’all would have great sex
  • like kinky shit because peter deffo has a few kinks
  • not a daddy kink though he probably thinks that shit’s weird but deffo a hair pulling kink
  • also can we talk about hOW HIS AUNT LOVES YOU
  • she literally was so happy for both of you that you guys are dating
  • after she met you the first time she was just smiling
    • “so may what did you think?”
    • “SHE WAS SO CUTE PETE I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!”
  • peter always going to may for advice too
  • him saying the first “i love you” on accident
  • like you two are just on his couch eating pizza and he just says it
    • “god, i love you”
    • “what??”
    • “I mean…you know what? I really do love you.”
    • “I love you too Peter”
  • also peter isn’t big on pda but you love showing him off (who wouldn’t)
  • whenever you initiate pda, peter always holds your hand or kisses you back
  • not fighting that often but when you do it’s BAD
  • and you both end up crying tbh because that’s how much you love each other
  • always making up though
  • being the school’s lowkey/chill/cutest couple
  • geeking thE FUCK OUT TOGETHER BECAUSE YOU’RE NERDS
  • and sometimes being fake excited to make peter happy
  • just making each other happy
  • loving each other unconditionally

also if u like this pls tap that little heart over there bc it really motivates me to write more and i appreciate every single one of you and if you ever have an issue (spelling/grammar or even the concept) just dm me!

prompt: “i had a nightmare about you and i just wanted to make sure you’re okay” + “hey, i’m with you, okay? always” + “do you want me to leave?” + “i think i’m in love with you and i’m terrified” + “i shouldn’t be in love with you” + “kiss me”

pairing: tony x reader

word count: 2.6k+

warnings: nightmares, 2am confessions of love, purest form of fluff

prompt list: click here

a/n: i wanna give tony all the love he deserves he’s the purest soul in this world and he needs to be reminded how wonderful he is every hour of the day x

SPOILER: THIS IS THE CUTEST THING IVE EVER WRITTEN

It was just past 2am when Y/N’s eyes shot open, her heart going 120 miles per second in her chest. Her fingers were gripping the bed sheets firmly and there was a thin layer of sweat on her forehead.

She was never one to suffer from nightmares but the dream she had just violently woken up from could surely be on the top ten list of the worst ones she ever had.

She slowly relaxed, staring up at the ceiling, still breathing heavily.

It was okay. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.

But as she continued to look at the vast expanse of space above her head, barely being able to make out the shape of the chandelier in the pitch black room, she realised that the feeling of dread simply wouldn’t go away and allow her to go back to sleep.

Something felt horribly wrong. It was like that feeling you get right before you get your results after a test you didn’t study for. Except multiplied by twenty.

She reached under her pillow and searched for her phone, squinting at the screen as she attempted to read the time. She knew everyone in the compound was asleep but the idea of staring at the ceiling until morning, feeling this awful sense of doom, wasn’t a good idea.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” She whispered, too quiet for any person to hear.

“Yes, Ms Y/L/N?” The voice sounded through the room and as strange as it was, Y/N was glad this computer system was watching over her and would inform someone if she was in trouble.

“Do you happen to know what Tony is doing?”

“Mr Stark is currently sleeping in his bedroom. Would you like me to wake him up?”

Y/N shook her head. “No, thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“You are more than welcome.”

Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair as she pushed the covers off and sat up. She looked around her room; there was a soft beam of light coming in through the curtains that relaxed her a little but she just felt so damn alone in her room after that nightmare.

She slowly stood up and made her way to the bathroom where she splashed some water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror for a moment.

The horrid feeling just wouldn’t leave her chest. It was as if the world was closing in on her and she couldn’t do anything about it until she knew he was safe.

F.R.I.D.A.Y had told her he was. He was asleep in his room. But computers could crash and even Tony’s tech could break down every once in a while. Knowing this, Y/N also knew she wouldn’t fall back asleep until she saw he was really okay.

So she dried her face with a soft towel and shut the lights out in her bathroom before exiting her room and beginning her descent towards Tony’s quarters.

The walk was long and Y/N’s bare feet were cold as they padded across the white tiles of the hallways. She liked living in the compound but walking through it alone at night felt like wandering the halls of a hospital when everyone else was sleeping. The walls were white, the floors were white, and there were elements of steel and glass everywhere.

It wasn’t surprising; the building acted as a headquarters for one of the biggest businesses in the world and only a small fraction of it consisted of living spaces. It seemed, however, that her bedroom was miles away from where Tony’s quarters were located. She had to take a long hallway, then a set of stairs, then another hallway, and climb another two floors before she reached it. By the time she was standing face to face with his door, the feeling of dread in her chest had grown by a thousand.

She knocked softly and when she didn’t receive a response, she pressed down the handle and gently pushed open the door. Because of how new the building was, the door did not creak and Y/N was beyond thankful. She pushed it open just enough to squeeze her head through and see if Tony was around. Realising he wasn’t, she pushed the door open wider and stepped inside.

The living area of his apartment was lit up by moonlight which seeped in through the giant windows. As F.R.I.D.A.Y. had told her, Tony wasn’t on the sofa, or in the kitchen, and the door leading down to his lab was closed, meaning he wasn’t in there, either. The only place left was his bedroom.

Y/N shut the door behind her quietly and tiptoed towards where she knew his room was located, almost walking into the corner of the glass coffee table.

When she finally reached his room, she noticed the door was ajar, and just like before she stuck her head inside. She scanned the room, quickly realising that from where she was standing she could not see Tony’s bed. So she lightly pushed the door open and to her horror, the hinges creaked as if they were fifty years old. Y/N cursed under her breath because a second later Tony’s concerned voice rang through the room.

“Who’s there?”

Y/N inhaled sharply and emerged from behind the half closed door. Tony was now sitting up in his bed, the white covers bunched around his waist and his face displaying mild apprehension. Next to his bed stood one of his suits, eyes glowing, left hand outstetched, ready to fire.

“It’s just me,” Y/N murmured, seeing Tony visibly relax. He expelled a breath.

“Power down.” The suit dropped its arm, took a few steps back to stand in the corner and its eyes stopped glowing like two burning torches.

Y/N remained standing where she was, her fingers shyly curling around the hem of her pyjama shorts. She casually studied Tony’s face to make sure he was okay.

“Why are you here at…” he glanced towards the clock on his bedside table. “2am?”

Y/N hesitated, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. She could feel the softness of Tony’s white furry rug between her toes, the pleasant heat of the electric fire place burning in the corner of the room, and the innocent curiosity of his eyes as he waited for her to answer.

On top of it all, she could also feel her cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

“I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

He remained quiet for a moment but his expression softened as he studied her from across the room. She looked spooked and Tony wanted to ask her what the nightmare was about, but he figured this wasn’t the right moment. She already seemed uncomfortable after having been caught checking up on him.

“Are you okay?” She asked quietly and Tony nodded softly in response.

“Yeah, and are you?”

She bit her lip and then shook her head. And in an instant she was rushing across the room, climbing onto his bed and wrapping her arms around his neck.

“What’s wrong? What did you dream about?” He asked quietly, recovering from the shock and slowly beginning to stroke her hair. She moved to sit on his lap, her face buried in the crook of his neck, feeling so much more relaxed now that she could feel the warmth of his skin, hear his quiet breathing, his hands wrapped tightly around her. Y/N never wanted to let him go, afraid that if she did, he’d vanish like he did in her nightmare.

“It’s okay. I’m right here,” Tony assured her, honestly kind of confused by why a nightmare about something happening to him would affect her so much. They were friends, sure, but he was also friends with the rest of the team and not a single one of his other co-workers had rushed into his room at 2am because they were scared for his safety. Something felt different about this situation, and as he continued to hold her, feeling her grip him so tightly he’d find it painful if the situation was any different, Tony began to wonder why she was so shaken.

She remained sitting in his lap for minutes, and when she hiccuped quietly Tony realised she had been crying. He tightened his grip on her, threw his bed covers over her shoulders and pulled her down to lie down with him.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N apologised suddenly, sniffing a little and feeling so damn silly. But Tony wasn’t laughing at her, and he wasn’t teasing her for being an idiot. He just held her tight, let her lie down with her head on his chest and continued to stroke her hair as she attemtped to calm down.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s going to be okay.” He kissed her forehead and in response Y/N released a shaky breath and closed her eyes. It was fine. He was safe. Nothing bad had happened to him.

“It just seemed really real. I got scared that something might’ve happened to you,” she muttered into his chest, and Tony could feel her fist the fabric of his t-shirt. He kissed her head again.

“I’m alright. Nothing has happened so you don’t need to be scared,” he assured her softly, and when Y/N sniffed, Tony placed his hand over her own. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”

She nodded softly, squeezing her eyes shut so that her remaining tears fell on her cheeks and then she promised herself she was fine. It was just a bad dream.

“Do you want me to leave?” She questioned, her voice barely audible but Tony was so close he heard every syllable clearly. Y/N silently hoped he’d let her stay; she didn’t want to go back to her room and sit in the daunting silence. She felt too at peace right where she was.

“Do you want to go?” He asked instead of answering her previous question and when she shook her head, Tony’s lips curved up into a soft little smile and he pulled her even closer to him. “Stay then. You’re more than welcome to.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, and he kissed her head one last time before feeling her relax in his arms. Tony took this as his moment to go back to sleep so he shut his eyes and savoured the feeling of her arm draped over his stomach, her head on his chest, her legs tangled with his. She was breathing softly, the sound lulling Tony to sleep and soon he could feel himself beginning to drift off.

“Tony?”

The sound of her voice pulled him back to reality.

“Yes, dear?”

She remained silent for a moment. Y/N bit her lip and for a moment, she wished she hadn’t called his name. But she did, and now Tony was waiting for her to say something. And other than the one sentence which had been flashing in her mind like a bright neon sign for the past month, she didn’t really have anything else to say.

“I know it’s silly but…” She paused, inhaling sharply and Tony stroked her arm, scared she might cry again. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

He didn’t respond immediately and a moment of strangely peaceful silence lingered in the air. It felt good to have it off her chest and surprisingly, Y/N didn’t fear getting rejected because even if he didn’t feel the same, they’d still be friends; and that was more than enough for her. Just knowing he was happy and safe was enough for her.

The sheets rustled as Tony moved under her. For a moment she thought he was going to remove himself from the bed, but instead, he rolled over onto his side so that he was facing her, and pushing Y/N to lie on her back instead. He looked down at her and instead of lying motionless and waiting for his response as any other person would after confessing their feelings, Y/N reached up and cupped his face in her hand.

Tony’s eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into her touch. He smiled softly, and when Y/N noticed, she smiled, too. They didn’t move for several seconds, but then Tony opened his eyes, removed her palm from his face and brought the back of her hand to his lips instead.

He pressed a long kiss to the soft flesh, looking at her face while his mouth was still against her skin.

“Why are you terrified?” He asked then, his voice quiet, laced with curiosity.

“Because,” she whispered back. “I shouldn’t be in love with you. But I am, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Tony smiled at her words, turning her hand and then kissing the inside of her wrist. With each kiss he moved his lips lower, leaving at least fifteen kisses on the inside of her arm alone.

“There is one thing you can do,” he told her, and when Y/N quirked a brow, the corner of his mouth curled up. “Kiss me.”

And just like that, Y/N was reaching out to cup his face again, using what little strength she could find at 2am to pull him closer. Tony held himself above her by placing his hand on the mattress next to her shoulder and leaning down to finally capture her lips with his own.

She held his face above her, lifting her head from the pillows to bring herself closer to him, and when their mouths met, she felt all her worries evaporating into the air. Tony’s lips were soft and his breath warm on her face.

They kissed softly, their mouths meeting time after time, and soon Tony was humming quietly at the feeling of her fingers running through his hair. He reached under the covers, carefully tracing her side and cupping the back of her thigh, slowly lifting it up and wrapping it around his waist.

He wanted to feel her closer and as the tips of his fingers lightly skimmed her skin, Y/N hoped that he would never retreat.

But like most things in life, the kissing had to end sooner or later, and when both of them found themselves struggling for air, their lips parted and Tony pressed his forehead to her own. Her eyes had fluttered closed, and when Tony looked down, he noticed the shadow that her lashes had cast over the tops of her cheeks.

The room was quiet for a while with the exception of the sound of their breathing and the crackling of the logs in the fire in the corner of the room. Tony shifted his weight to one arm, still hovering above her and when she opened her eyes, he tucked a stand of hair behind her ear.

She smiled at the gesture, but then Tony leaned down and kissed her again, and her smile grew wider.

“If you’re terrified of loving me, then we can be terrified together because holding something as precious as your heart is a thousand times more difficult than any fight I’ve ever fought,” he told her solemnly, and she watched him in awe, letting a quiet giggle escape her when he kissed the tip of her nose.

“I love you, too,” he added quietly, and when she smiled, he returned to his previous position and pulled her in closer. Her head fell to rest on his chest again and this time, when they closed their eyes and began to feel themselves drift off, there was nothing at the back of their minds trying to overshadow the complete contentment they both felt.


@arielsimaginess@wellthatsrandomkek@brittany1248@gabbievl@forestxpertise@aya-fay@yes—soldier@geekynation@smithaslan@all-of-the-little-infinites@sweetheartmyass@ishasal@jenma-simmons@interstellarhoodlum@hellkat2@bowtiesandapplepie@donttouchmeormypizza@somethingwitty-somethingsweet@kaijasimagines@thecityandcoffee@debbielovesbucky@marrsox@r3stl3ss-minds@sleeping-with-the-snakes@woahfairytail@marvelgirl2118@lipkitharry@unevenpages@radxxregs@avisgranger@cutsieunicorn@fvckingfandomsandshit@nerdygirlykittykat@broken-fairy-wingss @forever-1a @akanthaonarose @vanilllakitty@cupcaitlyn96 @psingh97 @gothamroques

Post-Blackout

The blackout is coming to an end today…and I have a few things to share. What it showed me- and realizing how bad the reposting issue has become.

During these two weeks I’ve witnessed a few cases:

-I’ve seen my art been being reposted without permission, mostly with ‘credit to the artist™’ or nothing at all on insta/vk/etc.

-I’ve seen my newer drawings with my new watermark being cropped from the picture with the same careless credit

-Someone even attempted to blur the whole thing and leaving a weird stain where the watermark should be (saved it before reporting just in case)

-Also youtubers have been monetizing my work without my knowledge. In some cases, they assumed that when I gave them permission to dub one of my comics, that it extended to having permission to upload other works of mine. An assumption that was completely wrong. So not only was I not informed that they were using more of my work, but they monetized it and gained money from my work. I no longer allow dubbing on my comic anymore because of it.

-Recently, I asked another youtuber to remove a dub they did long ago on one of my comics, and while they eventually removed it from their channel, it didn’t stop them from giving permission to other youtubers to repost MY ART. And while it was their dub, the foundation of that work was my art. No one can give others permission to use my art other than me. However just 4 days after that video was removed, it was reposted onto another channel and monetized. All this I had to find out from people telling me.

-And even worse—yes, it can get worse—yesterday I found out that one of the drawings I made for Adrienette month was being sold on phone cases on Aliexpress.

I never thought *this* will happen to me. Why would someone…do that? Why would someone make money out of our hard work while we create for fun to a fandom we love on our free time?

To be honest, after seeing this—I wanted to quit drawing for the fandom.

But I won’t.

As much as it hurts, the fact that there are people who don’t give a damn about the artist’s wishes and care more about their fat pocket—it won’t mean anything to them. For them I’m *just* another artist–it won’t hurt them losing another one.

I draw ml because I love the characters and the fandom. It makes me happy to see that I can make someone’s day a little better because of my drawings. I made friends through this fandom that became part of my everyday life and to be honest, they boosted my confidence. ML revived my dream again to study animation, it made me want to draw more and brought back the will to learn and improve. I have so many good things to say about the show, the people I encounter- you really changed my life, and I love you all!

And I don’t want this to end because of some nasty people who care more about their following count or the money they can make from a stolen illustration or a silly comic.

I’m just going to continue arting but not share everything…and make the watermark bigger.

So for other artists out there, I just want to share this information. This is just a drop of the ocean of what I have experienced in my short time of posting fanart online. As exciting as it is to have people dubbing your work or asking for permission to share your art on other platforms.

HAVE CAUTION!

Ask questions, ask for links to their pages, look at how they conduct themselves online, check to see if they monetize videos (you can use apps like the heartbeat app to do this as some youtubers like to not share this information), give proper credit/link to your original posts, etc. Some people are looking to use you and use your art for fame, for money, for whatever, and its abuse. It abuses your copyright and hard work. This is something I do because I love art, I love the show, and I want to share that love with others. It is NOT something I create for others to take advantage of or steal…or sell, or to stick an advert on in order to make money.

—-

Thank you @powerdragonmoon and the squad group for helping out with writing <3

Together, Alone (Soulmark AU)

Idk how people feel about reading 1.6K drabbles on tumblr, so I also posted it on AO3 for funsies! 

Dedicated to @serpensthesia for her birthday! #serpaken for life <3

Thanks to @bixgirl1 and @jadepresley for reading over this for me! And to @femmequixotic and @noeeon for encouraging the idea and making me write! <3<3<3


It started on his seventeenth birthday.

Draco had known it would start then, of course. That part was normal. The clock was supposed to manifest as a tattoo on his skin, and begin its countdown to the moment Draco would meet his Soulmate. He’d been looking forward to the clock’s appearance all year— desperate for anything that might take his mind off his hopeless situation. Draco was exhausted, the damned cabinet was never going to be fixed, and his whole family was probably going to die as punishment.

And Draco had been prepared to die with them, resigned to the fact that his countdown tattoo might not appear at all, or might be stuck at 00:00:00:00:00:00 right from the beginning.

Draco had not, however, been prepared for the clock to appear at midnight and begin counting down from a mere one minute and seventeen seconds. His heart jumped in his chest. Clearly Draco was one of those rare wizards who had already met their Soulmate, but hadn’t known yet because he wasn’t of age at the time. Which didn’t help Draco in the slightest, as he could think of precisely nobody at Hogwarts who he might like to spend the rest of his life with.

He stood up from the stool he’d set in front of the hopeless cabinet, grabbed his wand, and began making his way to the door of the Room of Hidden Things. Between the time he’d spent staring at his countdown in disbelief, the time it took to reach the door, and the few seconds he devoted to not panicking, the clock reached zero at the very moment he pushed open the door.

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Bygones of the Sun | 06 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 6.7k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

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Attached (Finale)

Summary: Modern AU. Your first day at the New York Bulletin takes a catastrophic turn when you accidentally overlook a fellow employee’s private chat session. Inspired by the novel Attachments by Rainbow Rowell.

Word Count: 2,420

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11

A/N: My gosh, we have finally reached the end of this story. I want to send out my thanks to every single one of you who joined me on this journey. Your continuous support and love kept this story alive. I hope you enjoy the conclusion of this tale! Also, please check out this Spotify playlist Isabela (@lovellylittlelonely) made that was inspired by this series! It’s amazing :)

Originally posted by sebuttianstans

You nearly tripped up the stairs as you made your way to the newsroom, the imperfect combination of nervousness and excitement surging through your veins. You were finally officially meeting Barnes–Bucky–in the break room, the place where the both of you first unofficially met. 

This was it. This was finally it.

Stepping inside the newsroom, you ambled across the floor toward your destination, your breath quickening with every step. You felt like you were in a dream. All of this felt so surreal to you as if none of this was happening at all. If this was a dream though, you never wanted to wake up from it. It was too sweet, too intoxicating to leave. You never wanted to return to reality again.

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og paladins + language barriers bc i’m tired of photoshop

  • i imagine the og paladins had to learn each other’s languages and Nutbutton.png
    • alfor probably took the initiate first bc he’s a nice guy and a good diplomat. he started learning from his translator and then blaytz would not be one-upped and gyrgan and trigel sort of got sucked up in the excitement.
      • coran, showering:
        blaytz, opening the curtain: coran, would—stop screaming—would you teach me altean?
    • zarkon was the hardest to convince bc damn do the galra have pride.
      • no but really he only did it because he felt that the other four were gossiping about him behind his back.
  • Not Saying they get together each week to watch altean novelas but you know they did 
    • “why do we always watch altean things” “have you seen galra tv it’s 95% propaganda”
    • yes there’s a Galra TV Drinking Game bc holy shit is it all repetitive
  • trigel almost stops midbattle bc she can’t remember one goddamn word and it’s driving her crazy.
    • “hey, blaytz what’s the name of that large animal that nearly ran you over last week.” blaytz, dodging enemies, “i’m not answering that.” trigel, effortlessly causing two opponents to crash together, “come on!” “do you really think i stopped to ask for its name while it was chasing me down?” 
  • “gyrgan c’mon i know you and your people have some of the best curse words out there leak them
  • Some Magical Shit Happens and the og paladins somehow lose the ability to speak each other’s tongues and it’s just one really long and frustrating game of charades and zarkon drives his lion straight into a cliff out of sheer frustration.
  • drunk paladins switching between languages and laughing and having a good time
  • the og paladins vs the galran language: a saga
    • “what does that say, alfor” alfor leans in, shrugs. “i don’t know” “but you speak galran” “yeah, doesn’t mean i know how to read it have you seen the galran alphabets”
    • trigel: zarkon why is there no galran word for lesbian you need to fix this immediately
    • “zarkon, why is it that there are ten different galran phrases for ‘glorious death in battle’—each with a slightly difference connotation, mind you—but there’s no direct translation for ‘pillow’?”
    • zarkon, trying to learn all the different names for all the different articles of clothing alteans wear: alfor your people are so soft
      alfor, struggling through the tenth volume of the galran history of war book: yeah that’s fair
  • they sometimes borrow phrases from each other and since they’re sort of heads of state the phrases get disseminated down and it’s like a really risky game of telephone that might cause an intergalatic war
  • blaytz: and then gyrgan took the robot’s head clean off with his hands, and—
  • zarkon: we have a phrase for that
    trigel, without hesitation: of course you do
  • coran, to allura, immediately after learning that not only are the new paladins all the same species, but they all speak the same language: holy shit this is going to be so much easier we might actually live through this

anonymous asked:

Please write a short fic about tony catching peter drinking i would die omg

“Hey, Peter,” 


He froze, eyes widening as he heard the all-too-familiar sound of expensive leather brogues scuffing along the floor a few meters from him, and he turned quickly, brow furrowed into a deep V as he watched Tony wander up to him, all smiles and casual posture, hands buried in the pockets of his grease-stained jeans. He looked like he’d come straight from the workshop, stopping only to throw on a leather jacket along the way.

Why he was here at all, however, made no sense at all.

“T- Mr Stark,” Peter said, trying to communicate with him through eyebrow movements alone. If it turned out that he had to suit up and help out somewhere, he was pretty fucked, considering the fact he’d had a bit to drink at the party he’d been invited to.

Well. He said ‘a bit’. It was possibly more accurate to say ‘a fucking shit-ton’, but whatever.

Tony looked at him blankly, before shooting another smile toward the circle of people who were stood around Peter and staring quite blatantly at the both of them. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid I have to take Mr Parker away. He’s an intern at Stark Industries, you know how it is. Lots of work, yadda yadda, okay bye,”

And before Peter could even open his mouth, Tony had grabbed him by the arm and snatched the solo cup out of his hand almost angrily, pulling him away from the group of people and through the crowds of rowdy teenagers that littered the huge house.

“Uh, Mr Stark, wha’dd’ya want me for, exactly?” Peter asked, speaking loudly above the blaring music and wincing at how slurred his voice came out.

It had been a weird month, okay. He was just trying it out. 

Tony paused, and Peter saw him purse his lips even tighter before beginning to walk again, guiding Peter through the crowds and holding him tight as he stumbled a little.

“Hey, Parker, leaving so soon?” Flash called out from somewhere to his left, and Peter stopped turning to face him as the other boy wandered toward them. “We haven’t even begun yet, Jesus, are you a pussy or what-”

“Kid,” and suddenly Tony had let go, spinning around and walking up to Flash, who seemed to suddenly recognise who exactly Tony was, because his eyes went hilariously wide and he stumbled backward a few steps. Peter snorted involuntarily, and he saw Tony turn briefly, before shaking his head and looking back to Flash, “it seems like you’re having an absolute ball here, but I’m gonna say something and I’m only going to say it once.”

Tony looked down at Flash, eyes harsh as he drew a little closer. “Leave. Peter. Out of it. Do you understand? He is not here for you to manipulate, not here for you to bully into trying out crazy shit for your amusement-”

“Tony, what the fuck,” Peter blurted, frowning and stepping forward, more than a little put out. He’d only just managed to get accepted by Flash and all the other popular kids, and Tony was just going in, ruining it all, “you’re not my dad- don’t tell me or my friends what I can and can’t do.”

Tony turned, eyebrows raised. “Friends?” He snorted, shaking his head and walking over to Peter once more, taking him by the arm. “You haven’t called in with Aunt May for two days now,” he hissed into Peter’s ear, “she’s worried sick. You are coming with me, right now.”

“No ‘m not,” Peter pushed his hand off, looking over at Tony in anger. “You are fucking….embarrassing me…. in fron’ of my friends-”

“They are not your friends!” Tony snarled, pulling his arm again, “your friends are all currently at home, worrying their asses off because this is not like you, Peter, and they didn’t know what to fucking do, so they ended up calling me. Now you will fucking follow me out of this goddamn place right now, or I am hauling you out.”

(Read more, mobile users!)

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masterpost of iconic lines/moments in Froot (2015) by Marina and the Diamonds

Happy: 

  • when the chorus effect starts on the line “melted away like I was free” and my soul escaped my body, went to hell, and was immediately forgiven by the benevolent god that is marina diamandis
  • “I realize to be happy, maybe I need a little company” and I started crying one minute and forty seconds into the album
  • the sheer force with which my head was ejected from my body when she hits the high note on “I believe someone’s watching over me”
  • the chord changes in the bridge making me feel melancholy realness, honey
  • invented the piano, invented happy songs that sound sad, invented music
  • I’ve fallen asleep crying to this song an uncountable amount of times

Froot:

  • THE FUCKING BASS RIFF IN THE FIRST TWO SECONDS which precisely and methodically severed my ear canal from my cranium
  • everything about this song
  • “ju-u-u-uice, la la la la la la la” >>> the entire discography of the rolling stones, the beatles, led zeppelin, and all of your dusty-ass “iconic” faves 
  • the sultriness of the fucking low G she hits perfectly and consistently throughout the verses
  • “but I ain’t in a patient phase” probably the most iconic modern music will get
  • the way she sings “come on fill your cup uuuuuuuUUUUUPP” shattering my femur
  • “i’ve been saving all my summers for you” assassinates all of the poetry by William Shakespeare combined
  • every part of the second verse, especially “baby I am plump and ripe, I’m pinker than shepard’s delight, sweet like honeysuckle late at night” which was better sex-ed than I received throughout my entire adolescent academic career
  • “birds and worms will come for me, the cycle of life is complete” making fucking DECOMPOSITION the sexiest thing anyone has ever said in the compendium of human history
  • The Fucking Bridge Melody that she sings well beyond the troposphere, above the stratosphere, and sitting sexily in the mesosphere
  • “oh my body is ready, yeah it’s ready, yeah it’s ready”

I’m a Ruin

  • marina single-handedly addressing the complexities of young-adult relationships with “I could treat you better but I’m not that smart”
  • the insane degree to which I scream “yeah yeah, uh huh, woo hoo, yeah yeah” at the end of the chorus, thus startling my neighbors and setting off car alarms
  • “It’s difficult to move on when nothing was right and nothing was wrong” making me spray tears out of my eyes like a machine gun
  • the way the back up vocals come in on “I’ve had my share of beautiful men, but I’m still young and I want to love again”
  • the dichotomy of “I’ll ruin you” and “I’m a ruin” are proven to be one and the same, thus ending the careers of marriage counselors across the world

Blue

  • the iconic and instantly-memorable backing track
  • the continuity between the themes of the last song with the opening line “we’ve broken up and now I regret it”
  • the FORESHADOWING of “and I don’t know why but I can’t forget it” which alludes to the themes of the NEXT song, Forget, basically proving Marina doesn’t need references to any body of literature but her own goddamn songs
  • “gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self-esteem” ejecting my wig at mach 3 into another dimension
  • the sheer craftsmanship of the pre-chorus, which is perfectly catchy and memorable while refraining from cliches
  • the way the beat picks up on the chorus and I demand my non-existent ex to “gimme one more night”
  • “I’m sick of looking after you, I need a man to hold on to, I’m bored of everything we do, but I just keep coming back to you” proving marina is just as fed up with fuckboys as we are, but is just as flawed and hypocritical as us, showing her imperfections and making her more worthy of our worship
  • ending the song on the pre-chorus like the fucking INNOVATOR of MODERN MUSIC she is??? like please tell me WHEN will your fave

Forget

  • this list doesn’t include the visuals from the music videos but I will make an exception for the ICONIC wig she wears in the video
  • the vocals for “never heal” sending me into a tailspin and crashing into a ditch at 70 mph
  • 50% of the chorus is the word “forget” and it is STILL the height of modern literature
  • after her mention of an “abacus” in the second verse, abacus sales went up 2000% and surpassed their unprecedented popularity in ancient Greece
  • “yeah it’s time to be letting go, yeah baby you know what I’m talking about” probably the most iconique start to a bridge physically possible in this dimension
  • “YEAH I’VE BEEN DANCING WITH THE DEVIL I LOVE THAT HE PRETENDS TO CARE IF I’LL EVER GET TO HEAVEN WHEN A MILLION DOLLARS GETS YOU THERE OH ALL THE TIME THAT I HAVE WASTED CHASING RABBITS DOWN A HOLE WHEN I WAS BORN TO BE THE TORTOISE I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE” is not supposed to be a high-intensity part of the song but I don’t fucking care obviously
  • the way she fucking develops the lyrics of the chorus throughout the song and makes each line the best life lesson you ever heard??? who is this woman?????

Gold

  • by FAR the most underrated song on the album for no goddamn reason like, have you demons even listened to it?? hmmmmm????
  • i have no idea how the accompaniment was made for the song but whoever did it was a genius and needs to be remembered for the rest of time
  • “doesn’t matter long as I am your star, sta-AAARRRR” melodically groundbreaking, please take notes everyone
  • “don’t think i want what I used to want, don’t think I need what i used to need” addressing the pains of growing out of old friendships and passions in a fun approach
  • “you can’t take away the Midas touch, so you better make way for a GREEK GOLD RUSH” YES MAMA REPRESENT YOUR COUNTRY LIKE THE GODDESS YOU AAAARE
  • knew she could rhyme “El Dorado” with “Colorado” and fucking did
  • the fade out at the end of the song painting her as a con-artist or corrupt gold-dealer being hauled off to jail while reveling in the near success of her schemes is what???? I C O N I C

Can’t Pin Me Down

  • this song is direct proof that marina is a straight up motherfucking KUNT in charge of her destiny. the album is labeled as explicit because of this ONE song and only ONE line: “you might think I’m one thing, but I am another. You can’t call my bluff, TIME TO BACKUP MOTHERFUCKER” like not only is this the most badass line in the history of language, but this line was so important to her that she made the album explicit JUST FOR THIS ONE LINE. SHE IS AN ICON. END OF STORY.
  • she is a feminist! BUT! “Do you really want me to write a feminist anthem, I’m happy in the kitchen cooking dinner for my husband” proving that you do NOT know this bitch. she is nothing you think she is. except that she is an I C O N.
  • the meter of “just another girl in the twenty-first century” has me unpredictably and immeasurably shook because she is just! that! kind! of! girl!
  • “You think I’m like the others, boy you need to get your eyes che-e-e-e-e-e-ecked, che-e-e-e-e-e-e-ecked” blew the skin clean off of my face
  • “i can be your russian doll” like,,,, gag
  • the entire concept and existence of this song is revolutionary and cements her position as the strongest female artist of our generation

Solitaire

  • holy FUCK you guys love to hate amazing songs, don’t you?? this song is without a doubt one of my favorites and you fuckers have the NERVE
  • the production on this song is one of a kind and continues to prove her versatility in style on this album. any reservations you had about her from electra heart better be EVAPORATED by this point.
  • the melodies on this song are, besides Froot, the catchiest on the album for me. they are so well crafted and inventive, i am shaking
  • “hard like a rock, cold like stone, white like a diamond, black like coal, cut like a jewel, yeah I repair myself when you’re not there” is such an amazing pre-chorus for this song like it could no possibly be better than that
  • the way the mood shifts from the verse to the chorus cut off my arms with raw blunt force
  • the flourish on the line “and I’ll admit all I wanna do is get drunk and silent” gave me an aneurysm
  • holy fucking SHIT the end of the bridge is for sure a highlight on the album. “but I’m not cursed, i’m not cursed, I was just covered in dirt” like damn marina go all the way off
  • the extra-dimensional high notes on this song are second to none, babes

Better Than That

  • “You’re just another in a long line of men she screwed” is the FUCKING WAY TO START A SONG, GIRLS. ARE YOU JOTTING THIS DOWN??
  • “So why’s she looking like a cat who got the cream?” ugh marina is so perfect I cannot deal with this bitch anymore
  • the sheer vocal talent on the chorus, like how high can this girl go? someday she’s going to rupture my eardrums and I will thank her personally
  • “with an angel voice, devil in disguise” the vocal production for this is perfect and successfully made me shit myself
  • “and she’ll network till her dreams come true, even if it means getting in a bed with you” miss marina is out for BLOOD everyone, the music industry is cowering in fear of her objective talent and lack of fucks
  • “i’m not passing judgment on her sexual life, I’m passing judgement on the way she always stuck her knife in my back” whoever this woman is she is getting READ for FILTH by lady diamandis and you all need to watch your backs

Weeds

  • this song is straight out of a sappy rom-com and I am fully living for it
  • “but it keeps growing back like WEEDS” I am currently screaming please give me a moment
  • “and God knows what sex is, a way to feel a bit, a little bit less lonely” marina chose sex to be a prominent theme on this album but she has shown she can handle it in the moment mature way any woman in the industry can. it’s subtle, it’s methodical, it isn’t vulgar, it’s just straight real and honest and such an important thing to discuss! this song is another aspect of how sex can be important in our lives. she better preach tbh
  • the aesthetics can reserved character on this song are a beautiful contrast that the album needed. filler tracks who???

Savages

  • full disclosure, this song blew a hole right through my body with the sheer impact of its lyrics and chorus
  • there are so many fucking good lyrics on this song, it’s truly baffling that anyone has a career in the music industry after this was dropped
  • “I’m not afraid of God, I am afraid of man” I am Screeching
  • the first beat of the chorus, my bodily fluids are already dripping from the ceiling and my bones are crushed into a fine powder
  • “underneath it all, we’re just savages hidden behind shirts, ties, and marriages” she is prophet, the chosen one, the woman who will deliver us from our mortal coils
  • “another day, another tale of rape, another ticking bomb to bury deep and detonate” Marina is fully aware of the important problems our nation is facing at the time the album was released and even to today. she isn’t a shallow artist like the persona she created in electra heart, she has become almost the exact opposite. She is taking on these issues with a clear judgment and grace and I am so proud and appreciative of her work.
  • “are you killing for yourself or killing for your savior?” YES YOU BETTER ASSASSINATE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS
  • the buildup in the last chorus to the E T H E R E A L ending is clearly the climax of modern pop music

Immortal

  • you could play this song for me and tell me it’s a message from an angel and I would 200% believe you
  • the melody on this track is so fucking pristine it’s like a glacier melting in your mouth
  • it continues the themes of humanity from Savages but looks at a completely different issue about it. this album is cohesive, planned out, and a complete and full body of work
  • the moment the chorus hits with “I’m forever chasing after time” my limbs are being forcibly extended by a device of love and torture
  • “but if the earth ends in fire, and the seas are frozen in time, there will be just one survivor, the memory that I was yours and you were mine” ok not kidding anymore this is STRAIGHT up MOTHER fucking POETIC genius and innovation at its most concentrated and talented moment
  • when she says “twice” on the high note in the chorus, it’s like the most beautiful bell shattering in my ear, tbqh
  • THE FUCKING BRIDGE is actual art. “I just wanna be able to say the I live my life” the way she executes this melody is cold-blooded and frankly she should be charged with manslaughter for it


bottom line, Marina Diamandis released the biggest breakthrough in pop music to date in 2015 and all of you demons let it flop. if you have the nerve to call this album a failure, I have literally 0 respect for you and no one is ever going to love you