i had to change the coloring 4 times i hate everything

A To-Do List for White Fandom

I’ve seen several posts circulating today about racism in multiple fandoms. The arguments and counterpoints I’ve seen are not unexpected. For background: I am writing instructor and I devote a significant portion of my classes to discussions of media representation. Why? Because I realized I was doing everything that these posts talk about: Ignoring characters of color, sidelining them for white villains or sidekicks with far less screen time, ignoring women of color entirely, etc. And all the while, like so many of you, I said, “I’m not racist.” I had in-universe explanations for why I liked this ‘ship over that one, this character more than that. I could defend and explain everything.

Racism is not who you are. It is what you do. And here’s a fact: All white people do racist things. We’ve been trained to, taught to. It’s in our culture, all around us. If you’re white, our culture has allowed most racism to be entirely invisible to us. Racism isn’t just yelled slurs and burning crosses. Often, racism is simply *not caring* about people who aren’t white. Racism is an inability to empathize with or care about the story of someone who is not white.

IF YOU’RE FEELING DEFENSIVE, PLEASE KEEP READING. I beg you. That’s exactly the feeling we have to push through. I’m going to give you a brief list of actions we can take. And I know these are important because I have to do them, all the time. Because the poison is in me, too.

If you truly believe in equality and want to be a better person, then here’s what we, as white fans, have to do:

1. BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. It absolutely sucks to realize you may have hurt someone, or that you might be wrong. Realizing you’ve done something racist is a stomach-churning reality check. Have the courage to face it. Don’t run from it.

2. INSTEAD OF LOOKING FOR WAYS YOU’RE NOT RACIST, LOOK FOR WAYS THAT YOU *ARE*. It’s comforting and tempting to itemize the ways in which we’re open-minded. See #1 again. Don’t let yourself be comfortable. Instead, look for what you do and ways you contribute to fandom racism. Maybe it’s reblogging or creating gif sets that leave out main characters of color. Maybe it’s forgetting to include them in your fanfiction, even when they would rightfully be there. Maybe it’s reducing them to stereotypes or caretakers for white characters. Maybe it’s ‘shipping the white leads with anyone but the POC around them. Maybe it’s accusing POC fans of “starting drama” when they discuss racism. Look at your actions and be honest with yourself.

3. PUT IN THE EFFORT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH POC CHARACTERS. Here’s the thing: It’s easy for us to fall in love with white male heroes and villains. It’s what we’ve been training for all our lives, with every movie, television show, and book we’ve ever enjoyed. Media *encourages* us to love white men. So yes, falling in love with a character of color will be harder, and it probably won’t “just happen.” So, truly look at Finn and Poe, at Cassian Andor and Bodhi. Truly look at Luke Garroway and Magnus Bane, at Luke Cage, at Iris West and James Olsen, at Michonne. Seek out ways to connect with their feelings and their stories. Look at them as full-hearted, three-dimensional human beings. Force yourself to become obsessed with them. If you do this, I would be absolutely shocked if you don’t fall in love with one of them.

4. LISTEN TO POC FANS. Yes, even if they’re angry and call you names. For my research, I spend a lot of time on blogs that talk about hating white people, hating white fans, hating white feminists. The language is furious and vitriolic. So what? They have every right to be angry. Instead of judging their anger, LISTEN to it. Try to be better. Don’t say “not all white fans,” or “not all white people.” Instead, try to be a better white person. Be a better white fan. Be a white fan who is brave enough to look at themselves and truly be an ally. Do not silence POC fans. I promise you: Listen, and you’ll realize they’re not overreacting.

5. REMEMBER THAT “ALLY” IS A VERB. Our thoughts count for nothing. It’s our actions that speak for us. Maybe you’ve read all this and you still want to insist that you’re not racist. Okay. But your actions might be. Challenge the stereotypes that exist in your head, learn to identify them as stereotypes and be willing to hold yourself and other white fans accountable.

6. REPEAT STEPS 1-5 FOREVER. We cannot cure our internalized white supremacy in a weekend. This is a forever gig. But it’s one of the most worthwhile tasks you can ever give yourself. Want to feel like you’re changing the world? Here’s where it starts.

Inevitably there’s more to add to this list. I’m always learning, but I thought it might be useful to share a few of these steps I’ve learned along the way. I love fandom. I believe profoundly in the transformative power of fanfiction, fan creations, and the friendships forged through our shared love of media.

I believe we can become BETTER PEOPLE through fandom. But it will not happen without our willingness to be transformed.

Back To School Tips Master Post!

I had a few people asking me to do a back to school tips/ how to do well in school post so here it is. I’m a sophomore in college and an honors student so I plan on sharing the things that have helped me succeed. Even though these tips are things I use now in college, most of them I also used in high school so it can be applied there as well. 

Organization                                                                                                           The most beneficial thing you can do is stay organized.

  1. Get a planner.- I bought mine this year at Walgreens for around $7 but it has a plastic cover so all paper ones are even cheaper. A planner is good for keeping track of when everything is due. When I get my syllabi for my classes I go through them and write down the due dates of homework, essays, tests, etc, on the day they are due. You can color code your classes or just write the class next to the assignment. This way you can look at a whole week and see everything you have due for all of your classes in one place. It’s also easier to add in things or make changes if your professor decides to due so.
  2. Use a white board- I know white boards can be expensive, so if you can’t afford one, expo markers will write on laminated paper which you can get for around $4 on Amazon. I use this to keep on my wall and write the next really important date for each class. So I have all my classes listed on the board and let’s say my next big date in Psych is a test. I’d write that date on the board, then after the test, I’d erase it and write the next important date. These dates should be in your planner as well but it’s nice to have them right in front of you at all times so you don’t turn to the next week in your planner and realize you have a test on Monday. 
  3. Buy durable folders- If you’re going to be using your folders all year make sure they’ll last all year. You want to lose any of your assignments. I get plastic folders at Office Depot for $0.39 a piece. I chose a color for each class and write the class at the top in sharpie and I’m good to go!
  4. Notebooks too!- You’re going to be taking a lot of notes so make sure to keep a notebook for each class as well. Mine were $3 each at Office Depot but they have a plastic cover so if you need to save some money get the paper covers because you most likely wont reuse a notebook.
  5. Get a pack of loose leaf paper- Sometimes you have to turn things in and if you’re like me then you hate tearing it out of your notebook. But if you don’t have a problem with that then don’t worry about it!
  6. Use some sort of bag/backpack- This will help you not lose anything plus you can put water, snacks, etc in it as well!

Study Tips                                                                                                               Tests are often the biggest portion of your grade so knowing the best ways to study will help you out the most. 

  1. Figure out what type of learner you are- This can greatly improve your study skills. There are visual learners; these people learn best with charts, graphs, and anything that show a visual relationship between information. So if you’re this type of person, to help study you could make charts, graphs, tables, draws arrows between points of information, or watch videos. Anything to help you see it. There are also auditory learners; these people learn best when hearing the information. So the best way for these people to study is to recite information out loud, or if your course has an audio book to listen to it. You could also have a friend read information to you and you say it as well. Some people are reading/writing learners; they do best when reading the text and writing down important points/taking notes. This is the type of learner I am so to help me study, I write out my own flashcards, I copy power points into my notes, and as I read my chapters I write the important information.  Something else that is good for these kind of learners is to make little quizzes for yourself. There are also kinesthetic learners; they learn best with more hands on activities. This can be hard to do especially with some subjects. If you can physically do what you’re studying then do it. If not, make a game out of it. For example, ask yourself questions and if you get it right take a shot at a basketball hoop or a soccer goal (if you don’t have these things use a paper ball and your trashcan or anything you can substitute. Figuring out which learner you are will greatly improve how you study.
  2. Don’t wait until right before a test- Cramming your brain with all the information a few days before a test will not help you remember and only stress you out. This is called Massed Practice and is proven to be a waste of time and information is not retained well. Study a little everyday or every other day. This is called the Spacing Effect and is proven to improve retention and recall of information. So it is best to do short sessions of study over a long period of time rather than a long session all at once.
  3. Find a good place to study- If you like quiet places and your house/dorm is too loud go to a library or outside if it’ s a nice day.  If you like a lot of background noise play some music or go to a coffee shop.

Overall Tips                                                                                                            These tips are still really important but I don’t have enough that fit together to make another header.

  1. Work on what’s due first- Some people think it’s always best to work on the important things first but that’s not always the case. If your essay is due in two weeks and you have an assignment due in a few days then finish the assignment first. You’ll still have plenty of time for your essay. I suggest doing all your work but if something happens to where you just can’t then yes do the more important thing because it’ll be a bigger part of your grade.
  2. Writing Centers- A lot of colleges/universities have writing centers.  If you’re not the best at writing or just need some help you can make an appointment at the writing center where someone highly qualified in writing will read your paper/essay and help you with grammar, punctuation, idea flow, overall organization etc. I highly suggest checking to see if your school has one of these.
  3. Check your email/Blackboard/whatever your professor uses- This is where they may add extra assignments/ cancel class and not mention it in class. It’s always important to check.
  4. Try to relax- I know it can be hard, especially for students with depression, anxiety, and other mental/physical illnesses but it’s important to always take a moment and calm down. Take breaks from your work and do something you enjoy for at least a few minutes everyday. If you need a nap, take a nap. just set an alarm to pick back up on your work later.
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect- This is still something I’m working on myself but getting better at. Last semester I got a B for the first time since my sophomore year of high school and it bothered me to no end. But, I told myself I did my best, and as a person with bad social anxiety I’m okay with my B in public speaking. So for anyone else who feels like they have to keep their 4.0 all 4 years, don’ t panic if you don’t. There’s nothing wrong with not being perfect, almost no one graduates college with a 4.0. Always do your best, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I cannot stress this enough.
  6. Take classes you enjoy- Hopefully you’re in a major that you enjoy so you wont hate your classes too much but it’s still important to try to take a fun class every once in awhile. If you like art, take an art class. Then, you’re still doing work but also doing something you like.
  7. Get a tutor- If you’re not doing as well in a class as you would like, don’t be afraid to get a tutor. Most universities offer tutors who are students that would love to help you and wont be judgmental at all. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little extra help and tutors are often people who have already passed the class with an A so they’ll be very good resources.
  8. Take care of yourself- Overall, make sure you’re eating well and drinking water throughout the day. Sometimes it’s impossible, but try to get enough sleep. If you go out to party watch out for yourself and others. Practice self care and if things get too stressful and you need help don’t be afraid to ask.

I know this post is very long, but I wanted to share everything I could for anyone who wanted help. If I think of anything else I’ll definitely add it later. I hope everyone has a great semester and school year! Good luck to everyone!

Writing Antagonists: (Aka, Your Villains and Bad Guys)

The antagonist is often either one of the most fun things to write, or the most dreaded. But either way, they are a key element of the story, and that cannot be ignored. So, let’s talk about how to make a really great antagonist.

You may have in the past met a writer or teacher or whomever who insists on using the words “protagonist and antagonist” over words like “hero and villain.” Personally, I am not so stingy about it, I feel that I know what you mean anyway so it doesn’t really matter- what there is a legitimate reason as to why you should at least try to think of your villain as your antagonist instead.

And that reason is connotation. Well, denotation too, really- villain and antagonist aren’t completely the same thing, but I’m bringing it down to connotation. 

Simply said, when you think of the word “villain”, you’ll think something like “that’s the bad guy in the story.” And when you think of the “antagonist”, you probably think “that’s a fancy word for villain, aka the bad guy in the story.”

But antagonist isn’t just a fancy word. It’s a fancy concept. It means “the guy that opposes the good guy.” That can be on any argument or view. When writing your antagonist is to remember that nothing is black/white, good/bad thinking, and that includes your antagonist.

Let’s map out the steps to making a complex villain- aka, an antagonist.

First, remember that your antagonist (usually) is a person, just like your protagonist. It might help to develop them outside of their intentions first, and put a person to the upcoming reputation.

Background:

Chances are, your antagonist didn’t just rise up out of the ground ready to kill. They came from somewhere. Your readers don’t even have to know everything about your antag’s backstory, but you do, if you want to really understand them. It often holds the key reason as to why your antagonist is where they are. The drive behind anger, revenge, change, or pleasing someone else can come from the events in their background.

Why do they hold the beliefs they hold? Were they raised that way? Were they taught by some mentor figure? Were they cover from a reality they couldn’t bear? Are they trying to please someone, or get revenge on someone who displeased them? The answer should be in their background.

Motives/Beliefs:

Remember, every villain is a hero in their own mind. They believe that what they are doing is necessary, even if they recognize that it is unpleasant. What are they fighting for? Why does it matter to them so much, that they are willing to overlook all the harm they do?

“The Greater Good”: This is one of the more common and understandable villain motives. They believe that what they are doing now is paving the way to a better future. But keep in mind that what your antag views as a “better future” may be very, very different than the average opinion. Maybe a “better future” for them is a genocidal purge or the world ending in flames. Who knows.

That’s not the only type of motive. Be creative. Work with the information you established in your character’s background to find the most reasonable motive.

Tipping Point:

This is going to be related to your background and motive in an interesting way. Think of your antagonist as a character who has already completed their Character Arc and reached a negative end. Look at the points of change on the character arc- the ones that push your character farther down their path. What are those events? Those are the tipping points that prompted your character towards becoming they way they are now- those key moments where your character had a choice, and they chose to become bitter, hateful, vengeful, cold, or other negative things.

These could be the deaths of loved ones, the promptings of a mentor, or a moment of injustice that made them realize that the world isn’t always kind.

Personality/Actions:

This is the part where you develop them outside of their intentions. How do they behave? 

It’s tempting to just say that your villain is a villain because they torture and kill people. But those are not the only things that make a villain a scary or serious threat. Some characters might jump to violence easier than others. Some might be more into psychological torment. Some might actually seem really charming or persuasive, which is frightening in it’s own way- they might actually be tricky enough to confuse you into making bad decisions on your own. Think about your character’s background again. What makes the most sense for them as a person?

Presentation:

This is how your antagonist comes across to others. Keep in mind that your reader and your other characters don’t know your antagonist like you do. How does this person present to the world? 

-Are they open to discussion/negotiation?

-Are they open about their intentions?

-How quick are they to violence?

-What are their methods of war?

-When you meet them, are they charismatic, quiet, charming, vulgar? Do they have a sense of humor, or are they stoic?

-Do they seem to enjoy what they are doing, or do they express regrets even as they do it?

Moral Complexity:

What are they willing to do to achieve their goals? Do they have weaknesses in their personal lives?

1. Do they have noble ends behind their controversial means?

2. Is there a line even they won’t cross?

3. Do they have someone/something that they care about?

4. Do they prefer to do the killing/torturing etc themselves or do they just give the order?

Remember that if your antagonist does have any of these moral weaknesses, they are not going to want to show it. One has to keep up intimidating appearances, after all. 

Speaking of appearances…

Appearance:

This part is here to tell you what not to do. There are certain appearances that are getting really old with villains.

1. Dressing in all black. Why do they even do that? It’s time to stop associating black with “bad” and white with “good”. It just isn’t like that, so stop making villains all dark and stuff.

2. Scars. I think scars are pretty cool, don’t get me wrong. But if there is no relevant reason for it to be there, don’t talk about it all the time. That goes for all characters, not just villains. Like the color black, scars are not just a villain thing. Everyone has them. Don’t associate them with “bad.”

3. Sexy. I get the idea that making a villain attractive makes them harder to hate, but that can be kind of a cop out of actual complexity. Again, if there is no legitimate reason to make your villain sexy, then don’t. It’s not necessary.

4. Ugly. I hesitate to call any traits inherently ugly, but if you’re striving to make your character unpleasant looking just because they’re bad, then once again, you are associating feature=evil, which is not creative at best and seriously socially harmful at worst. 

Basically, your villains should be just as diverse as anyone else. You don’t need stereotypes to make them scary. Sometimes it’s scarier than anything else to just have an average person. It sort of adds to the idea that anyone could be a villain. And that’s pretty frightening.

Key Point:

- Complicate your villains. They’re not just Evil McEvilpants. 

That’s it for now, but like anything else in writing, antagonists have a lot of possibility and exceptions. But that was your basic rundown on the things to consider when making a complicated antagonist. 

~Penemue

Soulmate Master list

Because I am complete trash for Soulmate AUs, I decided to try and make a post about them. Hope you guys will request some!! ♥


✖ Soulmate AUs involving measurement

[ Time // Countdown ]

.

{1} Reverse one where the clock starts at 00:00:00:00 from the moment you’re born and stops counting the moment you meet your soulmate,

{2} Your soulmate clock is actually a countdown of how long your soulmate has left to live (for angst maybe).

{3}Alternate version of above where your clock is a countdown of how long you and your soulmate have left to find each other or else you both will die because the universe is sadistic af—and if you find your soulmate you get to live longer.

{4}Alternate version of above where someone purposely breaks their soulmate clock so they can be with someone they fell in love with that isn’t their soulmate.

[ Distance ]

{5}Where you actually have a compass instead of a clock, and it leads you to where your soulmate should be.

✖ Soulmate AUs involving colors

[ Eyes ]

{6}Reverse colors AU where you can see in color but once you meet/marry your soulmate your world turns black and white, this is how people can tell that married couples really love each other because they’re willing to give up a world of colors for their soulmate. If your soulmate dies you get to see color again.

{7}You will be able to see the world in full color once you meet your soulmate but until then, you can only see the world in the eye color of your soulmate. However, you can alter the color your soulmate can see, for example, by wearing contact lenses. Like if you wear blue contact lenses, your soulmate sees the world in blue, purple makes them see the world in purple and etc. And you realize each day/week you get to see the world in a different color because your soulmate is being all cute and would want you to see every color there is and they probably have a huge collection of contact lenses by the time you both meet.

{8}Everyone is born color blind and their sights are fixed once they meet their soulmate,

[ Hair ]

{9}If you dye your hair, your soulmate’s hair color changes as well

{10}Like the above AU but you only get highlights for the dyed color of your soulmate’s hair. If your hair color returns to normal, it means your soulmate has returned to their natural hair color too.

{11}If your soulmate dyes their hair your fingernails turn into that color (like nail polish?)

{12}If your soulmate dyes their hair, your eyes turn into that color

✖ Soulmate AUs involving any kind of body mark

[ Tattoos ]

{13}You and your soulmate have identical tattoos on your wrist about the date when you’ll meet each other. Place and time can be included (as opposed to the countdown AUs).

{14}Where a tattoo isn’t set from the moment you’re born and whatever tattoos your soulmate gets,

{15}You remove your tattoo because you hate the idea of someone dictating who you can be with for the rest of your life and the person who’s removing it happens to be your soulmate and they’re torn between letting you know and just not bringing it up because you kind of went there because you didn’t want a soulmate and vice versa.

{16}Your tattoo is only half complete and it completes itself the moment you find your soulmate, like if you had half a heart, you’d get a full heart on your skin.

{17}You don’t have a name tattoo on your wrist, meaning you probably don’t have a soulmate but you didn’t want your friends to tease you about it so you had a tattoo made on your wrist about some name you picked at random because your friend said she wanted to see it soon. And then somehow there’s a person claiming to be your soulmate and they’re kind of cute and sweet so you don’t know what to do.

{18}Because the universe is sadistic af, it only gave you the first letter of your soulmate’s name.

[ Scars ]

{19}The only way for your scars to disappear is when your soulmate kisses them goodbye.

[ Others ]

{20}Whatever mark you get on your skin your soulmate gets it too so one day, you just kind of just get a sharpie and start writing on your skin.

{21}Whatever happens to the other, you feel it too (no actual injury but you feel the same amount of pain)

✖ Soulmate AUs involving dreams

{22}If you’re on separate time zones, when you sleep, you see the world in the eyes of your soulmate at present time. You see the world through your soulmate’s eyes, what they’re eating, who they’re talking to, the contents of the essay paper they’re trying to finish, but if they look into a mirror/reflective surface/picture, the image is blurred so you don’t really have a clue what they look like.

{23}You see your soulmate in the eyes of their friend instead.

{24}soulmates have the ability to dream together/meet each other in your dreams regardless of whether or not you two meet in real life. Your dreams could then be like a real-life video game, for example, you two could be in a zombie-apocalypse type of dream and you both would try your best to help each other out. If one gets bitten/dies you wake up and your soulmate is there to tell you everything is alright or tease you how you couldn’t shoot fast enough and then you’d both go back to sleep and maybe start round two.

{25}Your soulmate is dead and the only way you two can see each other again is in your dreams and everyday your soulmate tries to make sure you know they love you and will always be there for you the moment you close your eyes and retire for the night.
✖ Other Soulmate AUs

{26}You and your soulmate can communicate with thoughts

{27}A little red string is tied around your pinky and it leads you to your soulmate

Friends Part 4

Summary: You and Bucky are friends for a long time, but lately you start to develop romantic feelings for him. One day one of Tony’s parties everything changes but maybe not the way you wanted or expected.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 2643

Warnings: Fluffy, loads of Bucky being a cute pie some sexual innuendos and some sexual tension.

Thank you @amrita31199 you are amazing.

credits to the gif owner

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You take a sip of your coffee as you look at the computer in front of you; you are never going to understand why you accepted a job at the Stark Industries, sure they pay you really well but looking at budgets all day was starting to make you crazy.

To be honest, the budget in front of you is the least of your concerns, it’s been five days since Bucky went on a mission and you still haven’t heard from him. Usually, he texts you to let you know that he was alive and well. But so far nothing, according to Natasha they are fine but the mission is a lot more complicated than they anticipated.

You wish they would be home soon, you hated worrying much, you couldn’t sleep when you were worried.

You almost have a heart attack when you hear your phone ringing, you look at the id caller expecting it to be Dan but no it is Wanda. This is odd she never calls you “Hey Wan is everything fine?” Your mind goes to the worst scenario possible, afraid that something might have happened to Bucky.

Keep reading

Hot For Teacher [Rick Grimes x Reader]

Character: Rick Grimes

Word Count: 4,022

Prompt/Summary: High School/University AU 

Warnings: Smut, Language, Dirty Talk, Taboo Relationship, Unprotected Sex

Note: I’m baaacccckkkk! Sorry, it took me so long to start writing again, this pesky thing called real life kept getting in the way. Anyway, here is some STRAIGHT UP FILTH for @such-a-common-girl ‘s 1K Writing Challenge. Congrats Ana! No one deserves 1K more than you, girl! Enjoy!

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The Happiest of Accidents (Jared Kleinman x Reader SMUT)

More smut (shocking) so I’m combining 4 and 8 on my queue cause 4 was just Fluffy smut? And 8 actually had a plot.

 Requests by: anon Enjoy! 

Keep reading

after dark adventures

genre: boyfriend!au

star of the show: NCT’s Jaehyun

word count: 4,075 words

author’s note: it’s not a jeff fic without some nasty, so feel free to skip ‘3:51am’ if you wish to do so 

Originally posted by nakamotens

opening line: “What is sleep when we can be doing so much more once the clock’s hand strikes past twelve?”

Keep reading

best friends || isaac lahey

word count: 3350

warnings: none

prompt: isaac and y/n are best friends, but get in a fight before a mission. y/n almost gets attacked by the villan and isaac saves her.

author’s note: probably seems familiar because it’s been posted, this is a repost because my old blog is now deleted.

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[long meta] the hidden depths of voltron S1 E6

part 1: lance’s literal awakening and keith’s metaphorical one 

(if you already know where I’m going with this, you might find part 2: an entire subtextual plot in S1 E6? - in this same post - more interesting)

I’ve been rewatching season 1, and I got to episode 5 with the bonding moment and was like yeahh but then I got to the beginning of E6, with everyone waiting for lance to be released from the healing pod, and I was like wait. I never really thought twice about the scene before, but this time around I was like…hold the phone. 

what is keith’s reasoning for being impatient in this scene, anyway? like, if everyone else can wait a few ticks for lance to wake up, why can’t you? 

is this just your Personality, to be an impatient nuisance sometimes, haha queue comedic intro? well, while keith is often impatient, it’s usually during situations involving life or death decisions. and since lance isn’t about to die, and the timing of his release from the pod doesn’t put anyone else’s life at risk…

since i trust the vld writers enough at this point (at least with keith, i guess…?) to not make characters do shit for no good reason, i don’t think keith was being impatient for the hell of it, especially to do with someone he’s made a point of *Shrug* Not Really caring about – that is, until shit went down in E5 and keith dropped that pretense like it was hot and didn’t hesitate to initiate the famed bonding moment.

my point here about this scene in E6, is that it’s directly linked to E5′s bonding moment, like 100%. maybe you’re like DUH OBVIOUSLY - and you’d be right, cause it’s obvious to me now and I was probably just being really slow on the uptake - but nevertheless, i don’t think we should hang up the the phone there…

Keep reading

How To Change A Fuqboi (Jungkook)

Word Count: 2,917

Loosely inspired by the song “Fuqboi” by Hey Violet

Rated M (language and suggestive content)

Originally posted by donewithjeon

How to Change a Fuqboi

Volume 1: Happenstance (Jungkook)
Volume 2: For-Getting His Attention (Jimin)
Volume 3: Boning and Binding (Taehyung)
Volume 4: One and Done (Yoongi)
Volume 5: Unintentional Liar (Seokjin)
Volume 6: To Be Loved (Namjoon)
Volume 7: Checklist (Hoseok)

✩✩✩♔✩✩✩

Step 1) Get acquainted*

Obviously, first you need to find him, that “Netflix and Chill” guy who thinks it’s cool to recycle pick up lines from pop songs, ask for “pics” within the first five messages of a conversation, and has the nasty little habit of borrowing his mom’s earrings. They’re everywhere, so really, it shouldn’t be that difficult.

You retrace your steps carefully, gaze glued to the ground. It has to be around here somewhere.

Of course the day you convince your father to let you wear your late grandmother’s silver bracelet, you’d go and lose it.

Maybe it’s along the path you take to your car. Maybe it’s back in your oceanography class. Maybe someone found it and…

Anxiety rips through your veins.

No, it has to be somewhere- you just need to remember where it fell off. Your feet stop carrying you forward as they reach the classroom, bracelet still nowhere to be seen. This is your last chance, so taking a deep breath to futilely fend off the disappointment and subsequent panic, you push open the door.

The professor has long since left and the next session, which you think might be a discussion class, probably won’t start for another half an hour, thus you are mildly surprised to find a student lounging in your exact seat, scrolling through messages on his phone, but also idly fiddling with a VERY familiar piece of fine jewelry.

“Hey!” the rude cry escapes your lips before you can stop it.

The boy looks up, immediately making eye contact and freezing you to the spot. Calling him attractive would do this masterpiece no justice. His muscular shoulders and arms fill out his black t-shirt beautifully, matched with a pair of perfect legs complimented by ripped jeans. And his FACE… his sultry eyes are partially hidden behind sun kissed bangs, hair messily parted slightly to the side in a way that makes it WORK and a jawline so sharp it could split thread.

However.

You immediately know what he is, the coil in your stomach makes it clear, a heartbreaker- nay, a fuck boy. You firmly believe in the live and let live policy, but after the last time, you don’t think you could handle another emotional roller coaster.

It’s almost painful to maintain his gaze, so you drop yours to your feet, voice wavering, “I’m sorry…I… I think that’s my bracelet.”

“Is it?” his voice is the auditory equivalent of tasting thick cake frosting and a smirk quirks the left corner of his lips upward.

“Yes,” you affirm, though sound anything but sure.

“How do I know you aren’t just trying to steal it?” he arches an eyebrow, pinching the bracelet between his index finger and thumb, lifting it for inspection.

You run your fingers through your hair, finding the courage to look at him again, half flustered, half frustrated, “It’s my grandmother’s. Please.”

“Well anyone could say that,” he shrugs, either doing a stellar job at feigning concern or actually (albeit stereotypically) breaking character by showing interest in something that isn’t related to his pleasure, sexual or otherwise.

“Then how can I prove it to you?” you know you sound desperate now, but what else can you do? That’s REAL silver he’s holding.

His smile widens until he’s flashing you a perfect set of pearly whites, “First off, you can tell me your name. I’m Jungkook, by the way.”

*Addendum: acquainted, not to be confused with “friendly” or “intimate.”

Keep reading

I work a Raskin Bobbins currently, and it’s a relatively new job, I’ve been doing it for a month and a half. Seems very new, I know, but I picked everything up within the first week, it’s kinda my specialty. Our staff is almost entirely girls, save the owner, the store manager, and one 16 year old boy. Recently we hired on a new girl who’s 15, and she is a trip. She’s tiny, like, her waist is almost the same size as my thigh, she’s homeschooled, she’s an actor apparently, and she thinks she’s the only person in the world who has ever in their life had even a minor annoyance. She complained about working so often that she didn’t have any time to study, but she works three 4-hour shifts this week. I pointed out that she had the weekend off and she told me she doesn’t study on weekends. Well shit, then.

I have shoulder pain because I broke my collarbone in a car wreck about two years ago and had to work on it because I was leaving for college and needed the money. I went back to work five days after the wreck, and as a result my shoulder muscles are messed up. I was rubbing my shoulder because I’d been carrying 60-70 lbs of ice cream, and she comes over and tells me to suck it up, and then immediately begins complaining about her sore wrist, the same one everyone gets the first two weeks of the job, and then goes back to messing about on her phone while leaving me to do everything.

None of this even relates to her work ethic which, and I’m being nice here, isn’t really even a work ethic. She refuses to go into the walk-in because she hates being cold, but she comes to work in teeny little shorts, which, by the way, are out of dress code. It’s an ice cream shop. If you don’t directly tell her to do something she’ll never do it, and even then she tries to get out of it by saying she doesn’t know how, which doesn’t work on me but seems to work on some of the others.

And here was the kicker for me. One of the other girls we work with is a rape victim, and those of us who she works closely with (me and like one other girl) know the story because it explains why she changes her hair color as often as she does (long story). The new girl, let’s call her Addy, asked her what being raped is like because she was curious. Her words. 

I know you’re fifteen, and you think life is hard, but my sympathy has a line and you, my friend, have crossed it.

🍂 new november fics 🍂

» 30 Rules to Marriage by delictor

Lance and Keith accidentally get married and it’s not actually as bad as they thought it would be.

» Always Keith by spacegaysgettingspacelaid

Keith’s Galra side pops out in the middle of a battle, and his team mates all suddenly seem to want him dead. No one can see him as anything more than Galra scum.

(Except Lance. Lance just wants to know why he can’t be a Gryffindor.)

» Astraphobia by Anthropedia

Keith had long since made his peace with this. But why did it have to happen now? And as it stands, Keith is the only one who is willing to accept that things are turning out this way.

» bruises by Chaosandthecalm 

“Show me how much you hate me.”

Keith wants to know what Lance’s problem is. The answer might surprise him.

» By God Don’t Let Go Of Me by whichlights

After the disaster that was the corrupted wormhole, the paladins struggle to reunite. That may be a little more difficult than anticipated seeing as the universe won’t throw them a goddamn bone.

"If you let go I think I may shatter.” Keith laughed. “Please just keep looking at me so I can pretend we’re going to be okay.”

» cause you’re learning me by safra

Here’s what Lance knows about his mysterious flatmate:

 1. His name is Kevin. Or Keith. Or something like that.
 2. He’s studying astrophysics which, honestly, is pretty cool.
 3. He doesn’t know how to use the washing machine.
 4. He can’t cook. Like— At all.
 5. And— Well. And that’s about all Lance knows about the mysterious Kevin/Keith because,  after nearly two months of living together - after almost two months of sharing a bathroom and  a kitchen and all the other things that come with being flatmates - Lance has never, not even  once, actually seen him.

» Color Me Blue by TheQueen

This time he will fix things. This time they won’t fail.

This time he’ll save Lance.

» Colour Wheel by isafangirl

Red/Blue.

People are born from three colours, they are either yellow, blue or red. Everything about them is that colour, in varying shades. 

They can only see the colour they were born from (as well as black and white). As the years go by, they touch people with the other colours, and if their relationship with them is special enough, they may share their colours with each other. These special people are called soulmates.

» Convalescence by Dee Olive and harenp

Keith doesn’t know what’s going on anymore, doesn’t know what to believe. His brain is a wreck, his body is littered with scars and these strange people keep claiming to be his friends.

Then again, what can you expect when you suddenly wake up with no memory?

» Costumed Identities by Trashness

Lance and Keith are rival cosplayers, who only know each other by their online usernames. They are fiercely competitive, but are also desperately attracted to each other. You’d think they would just get together already, but there’s a couple of problems.

» Crossroads by manamune

When Keith crashed his Lion into a Galra warship in order to stop it from destroying a solar system, and more importantly, his friends, he was fully prepared to die for it.

What he didn’t prepare for was to wake up in an alternate universe where he and Lance were dating.

» Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance.

» Freeing the Black Paladin by CaptainPlatypus

Keith had been born a part of Zarkon’s Empire and as a young Galra he had fulfilled his duty to become a soldier of the Empire. An honour he’d been told, but his human blood had exposed him to the darker side of the Zarkon’s rule. 

No one left the Empire, but with the help of the Champion he had escaped. 

Now Keith was determined to repay the favour and free his saviour. He’d use anyone to do it, even the new Paladins of Voltron.

» Frozen Time & Forgotten Hearts by Linea14

Keith and Lance were in love long before lasers rained down upon Altea. But after Lance is shoved in a cryopod and slumbers for 10,000 years, Keith is surely dead… right?

» Fuzz Therapy by anonymouse_fiction

After some (worried) complaining from Lance, Keith finally decides to learn how to take care of his Galra fur right. What no one was expecting was how gosh darn fluffy he would be.

» Halcyon Days by bolbessa

Lance might be royalty. Keith might be escorting the future king back to the kingdom. It’s possible that neither of them are entirely aware of these facts.

» Happiness by Skullnar 

Captured, Lance is left in a cell to rot. He expects torture, questioning, and threats. However, all he gets is a Galra named Keith, who just happened to be in the same cell as him. Lance is sure he is a spy, seeking to attain information. What he doesn’t expect, though, is to find himself befriending the Galra.

» High Tide by princevince

noun.
1. the state of the ocean’s tide at it’s highest
2. the highest point of something
3. a culmination

» Hold On To Me by kalekeith

It’s been 14 hours and 27 ticks since Lance had made a god awful pun, or shitty pick-up line, or faux-suave gesture – which Keith isn’t in the least slightly concerned about; not at all.

» Homecoming by Thesis

Two deaths and one funeral. Keith has trouble readjusting to Earth and Lance has trouble dealing with Keith.

» Honey & Lemon by DylanOhBrien

Keith has one rule: keep any interaction with a customer terse and professional. It’s a rule he’s strictly followed since he’s started working at Shiro’s shop.

Then Lance walks through the door and Keith thows professionalism right out the window, along with any semblance of dignity he had left.

» I Never Knew Daylight (Could be so Violent) by Talinor

Are you there, God? It’s me, Lance. He thought. I know we don’t talk much, but listen. I don’t care what it is, I’ll do it. Just let him be okay.

» Infection by 5557

Lance is convinced that he is infected with an alien sickness. Why doesn’t anyone believe him?

It must be Keith’s fault.

» it’s an imperfect magic by DovahFinn

Keith didn’t even know unreciprocated soulmates were POSSIBLE, so of course fate gave him one and then got him stuck in space with him.

» i won’t just buy you a rose by glitterfreezing

lance is a struggling florist with a passion for poetry and coffee.

keith is a highly frustrated barista at the bookstore-slash-café down the street.

their inevitable meeting causes their individual worlds to change forever—for the worse, obviously. the course of true love never did run smooth, but this is just ridiculous.

» Kiss My Ice by delictor 

Lance hasn’t skated in a year since the accident that cost him the Olympics. Keith can’t skate for shit but that doesn’t stop him from catching Lance’s attention, even when he can’t so much as stand up after falling on the ice.

» Laws of Gravity need not apply by Yuu_chi

It’s a difficult thing to go from secretly crushing on your school rival at a distance to sharing a tentative psychic connection with him, an audience of three other people, and an assorted collection of sentient machines.

Harder still to watch that crush come to be something more.

» Leave Me Stranded by aethris

Keith opened his mouth and closed it. His eyes seemed pained. “Lance,” he began, “I understand-”

“You don’t know anything about how I feel because you don’t care about ANYONE!” He let go of the other boy’s shirt and pushed him away. Keith’s back banged against the other treadmill.

The silence was heavy. Lance glared at Keith, fists raised, prepared for a fight.

But for once, Keith didn’t glare back at him. “So.” Keith’s voice was almost too strained and quiet to hear. “That’s how you feel.”

Then he turned around and left the room without another word.

» moments of silence by attemptsonwords

Quiet moments between two boys who spend most of their time yelling at the other.

» phlogiston by stalemateBecks

When Lance was eight years old, his abuelita sat him on her knee and told him; love is a leveler.

At the time, Lance had no idea what she meant. Love was still a rather far-off and foreign concept, but he was enamoured with the general idea behind it, even if it seemed a bit confusing. The phrase stuck with him, but had ultimately been pushed to the back of his mind when he couldn’t figure it out.

Now though, his back arched against the wall and Keith burning caustic kisses into his skin, he thinks he might get it.

» Rapid Escalation by Lys ap Adin

Pidge and Hunk finally give Keith a hint to explain Lance’s behavior, and after that, things escalate.

» Stay Awake by Talinor

Sometimes Lance forgot one simple mistake could mean the end.

AKA Lance nearly dies, Keith saves him, and both question their feelings.

» the cartography of a soul by songs

Suddenly, Lance’s chest hurts. Keith’s voice is so hoarse and hesitant. And Lance— Lance knows there’s a right thing to do. He should say, “You’re human,” should say, “you’re still one of us." 

» The Constellations in Your Eyes by lottienaut 

Keith can’t sleep and, as it turns out, neither can Lance. They meet on the observation deck of the Castle of Lions and have a revealing conversation.

» This Time Don’t Make Me Leave by Qpenguin98

When he gets out of the car and looks up, he realizes Lance is right. He can see stars and constellations and the moon shining down. He feels awestruck.

» thread our way through a string of stars by steelthigsvoideyes

Lance is a humble astrophysics student trying to conduct research, which turns out to be a bit difficult to do when he finds a strange guy sitting in his customary research spot. A strange guy looking for aliens, no less.

Lance isn’t going to stand for this.

» Unbroken by fickleminder

In which the cryo pods can bring back the dead.

» What the Night Knows by RubyFiamma

A mission gone wrong has Keith wandering around aimlessly seeking some sort of solace.

» You’re My King and I’m Your Lionheart by Lulatic

Lance is a Galra prisoner, Keith is the prince that falls in love with him.

Keep reading

Fireworks

This is probably my favorite out of everything I have written so far! It contains a lil bit of angst and a lot of fluff!

Warning; panic attack 

Alexander + Fireworks = A bad idea 


For as long as Alex can remember he has hated fireworks… they were beautiful to look at but the noise they made was terrible. He remembers the first time he watched them from up close, he remembers screaming and running into this mother’s arms as they exploded in the air.

After that night Alex swore he would never go close to fireworks ever again… but tonight he was breaking that promise to himself.

Alex convinced himself that tonight he would be fine… it had been over 7 years afterall.

“Happy 4th of july babe!!” John exclaimed as he busted into Alexander’s office, throwing festive confetti in the air.

“Well happy 4th to you too” Alexander said as he stood up from his desk and made his way over to John, kissing him on the lips.

“Sooo” John began, grabbing Alexander’s hands “ I was thinking tonight we could head downtown and watch the firework show?”

Alexander hesitated for a moment but when he saw how excited John was he didnt have the heart to say no, “I would love to!”

And that is how Alexander got himself into a horrible situation, little did Alex know there is always a silver lining.

The morning went great, he ate breakfast with John and listened to him ramble on excitedly about how much he loved fireworks and 4th of July as a whole. Alexander tried to relate with John but failed to due to his fear of the fireworks.

“They probably aren’t even that bad… its been 7 years!” Alex tried to tell himself and it seemed to be working, that is, up until it was time to leave.

John and Alex had been cuddling on the couch, watching a local parade on TV when Laf texted them about a 4th of July BBQ Herc was throwing.

11:26 am- Laf: Salut mes amies! Tonight Herc and I are having a BBQ, its before the fireworks and the Schuylers have already agreed on coming… you wanna come?

They gladly accepted the invitation and decided to take a small nap before getting ready for the evening. As they lay spooning in the bed, Alex was kept awake with thoughts of everything that could go wrong later in the evening. He imagined things from him panicking all the way to a firework exploding prematurely and him losing everyone he loved… him losing John.

“Are you okay?” A concerned John asked, Alex didn’t realize it but he must have started crying during the time he was stuck in his own imagination.

“Yea, im sorry…” Alex lied, trying to change the topic.

“Whats wrong?” John asked frantically as he wiped a tear from Alexander’s red cheek.

“Umm… the last time I got close to fireworks was 7 years ago… I ran straight into my mothers arms, terrified. Anytime I hear them now I think of the thunder and the hurricane-” Alex confessed.

“Oh my god Alex im so sorry! We dont have to go tonight! We can just leave Laf’s early and come back here and watch them on TV like we always have! Gosh we’ve been together for more than 4 years I should have known!” John rambled in a guilty manner.

“Babe, its fine. It has been 7 years John, I think I will be ok tonight.” Alex tried to reassure John and himself.

“Okay but if you dont feel comfortable at any point tell me and I will get us a cab faster than they can light the fireworks off!” John promised, kissing Alex on the top of his hand.

By now it was almost five o’clock, John and Alex started getting ready, they were supposed to leave their apartment in an hour to get to the house of Laf and Herc which was located on the outskirts of the city.  

An hour soon passed and now John and Alex were heading out the door, dressed head to toe in patriotic colors. They had two lawn chairs slung over their shoulders, prepared for the fireworks that would come later on.

Upon arriving at the household of Laf and Herc, both boys broke out into hysterics at what was hung on the door. Laf had decided to take decorating into his own hands and dec the entire house out with french flags.

“I mean he did get the colors right!” Alex laughed and he looked around in amusement.

“You bet I did!” Laf laughed as he turned the corner, enveloping his friends in a hug, “follow me, everyone else is outside.”

The two boys were led outside where the Schuyler sisters were tanning by the pool with tea in their hands, Herc was flipping burgers, and music was blasting.

“Look who showed up!” Herc boomed, causing the sisters to turn their heads.

“Hey!” Eliza said rising out of her seat and walking over to hug the boys, Angelica and Peggy soon following.

Greetings were exchanged, memories were made, and now dinner was just finishing up, Alex and John were convinced to stay at Laf’s place. Herc convinced them that the view was much better from their backyard and everyone seemed to agree. This helped Alex calm down some, at least he would be surrounded by his friends.

“I’m going to set our chairs up.” John announced, leaving the table and walking over to the side of the pool where Alex and John left their chairs.

As soon as he was out of earshot Laf whispered to Alex “I dare you to go push him in!”

Alex sprang to action, creeping up on John slowly, and then gently shoving him into the deep end of the pool with a huge smirk on his face.

“Oh my god! Alexander you are so paying for this!” John laughed as he swam to the side of the pool “now help me out or you are totally sleeping on the couch tonight” he joked.

Alex didnt think twice before lending his boyfriend a hand, however, this resulted in John pulling Alex in beside him.

“I can believe you!” Alex laughed, splashing John in the face.

John splashed back and soon they were having a full on splashing war.

“I hate you break it to you love birds but the fireworks are starting soon!” Angelica laughed as she set their chairs up and sat a towel in each of the seats.

The boys eventually got out of the pool and dried off, they were now sitting waiting for the fireworks to start. John noticed the way Alex was slightly shaking his leg so he gently squeezed his hand to reassure him that he was right there. Alex squeezed back weakly, but John wasn’t completely convinced that Alex was fine.

The fireworks started about five minutes later. When the first one shot off Alex jumped a little but on the outside he seemed to be fine. John didn’t know that Alex’s chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, he didn’t know this until Alex’s breath quickened and he shot out of his chair and into the house. John quickly jumped out of his chair and followed him inside, but not before telling the others to stay out and watch the fireworks, he didnt want Alex to be overwhelmed.

“Alex baby? Its John, where are you?” John spoke softly, not wanting to frighten Alex anymore. When he didnt reply, John had to follow the sound of Alex’s sobs… the sounds led him to the bathroom.

“Im going to come in… its just me” John warned as he slowly entered the bathroom. Upon entering, John rushed over to his boyfriend who was laying in the shower trying to get as far away from the fireworks as possible.

“John I-” Alex whimpered when John lowered himself into the shower right beside him.

“Shh, focus on calming down right now” John instructed “is it okay if I pull you closer?”

Alex nodded and John wrapped his arm around the smaller boy and pulled him so their bodies were touching.

“Ok I need you to take deep breaths for me Alex and just remember that the noises outside are just fireworks and that you are inside and safe.” John spoke gently as he slowly ran his hand through Alex’s hair to try to calm him down.

Minutes had passed and Alex was slowly beginning to calm down, he now had his face in John’s chest with a slow stream of tears pouring out of his eyes.

“John what about the others?” Alex sniffled, referring to the rest of their friends left outside.

“They are completely safe, just like you.” John told Alex as he wiped tears from Alex’s cheek.

Just when Alex had stopped crying he looked back up at John and spoke again “Im so sorry, I know this was your favorite holiday and i ruined-” he rambled, tears spilling down his cheeks once again.

“Alexander dont you dare apologize, your mental state means more to me than any holiday ever will” John promised as he enveloped the boy in a hug, Alex responded by grasping tightly onto John’s tear stained shirt.  

They sat like this for a while before John broke the silence, “would you like to move out to the couch?”

Alex only nodded, not bothering to move his head from the crook of John’s neck as John lifted him up and carried him to the couch. The boys now had a good view of the fireworks, only this time there was no sound.

John was eager to get Alex comfortable on the couch, he had been planning this very moment all day- hell for weeks now he had been planning. What John was about to do would change their lives forever.

“You better now baby?” John innocently asked the boy laying on the couch, not wanting to do what he was about to do if the boy wasn’t 100% stable.

“Yea I am, thank you so much John” Alex gave John a weak smile.

“Anything for you my love, I’m going to grab something but ill be right back” John promised as he kissed Alex’s hand and walked into the other room.

When John returned, he returned with something special in his pocket.

“So ive been meaning to talk to you all day” John began as he sat down on the couch next to Alex.

“What about baby?” Alexander had a hint of worry in his voice, the smile on John’s face seemed to calm Alex’s fears though.

“Us.” John then got down on one knee in front of Alex “Alexander Hamilton the past four years have been the happiest of my life-” John began, Alex was now crying happy tears “and I owe that all to you. Waking up each morning and seeing you is a dream come true and I want to do that for the rest of my life. You mean so much to me Alex and sometimes I dont think you see that but I want to change that. Alex I want to be by your side through everything for the rest of our lives… will you marry me?” John finished, leaving them both in tears.

“Yes! Oh my god John Laurens a million times yes!” Alexander jumped off of the couch and into John’’s arms where John was waiting with a small gold band in a box.

Alexander smashed his lips against John’s and just then a firework shot off, only this time Alexander didnt flinch.

He’s Your Ex Husband and Him and Your Daughter Celebrate Christmas Without You: Part 4

I really should change the title of this..

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Masterlist


Y/n wakes up cold, covers barely covering her chilled body. She closes her eyes again, slumber almost willingly taking over again as she blindly searches for the blankets. Her hands dance along the bed, her arm reaching to pull the corner of the blankets over her body. But there’s a resistance, the covers being pulled back away from her grip whenever she attempts to claim them.

“If I had remembered you were such a fuckin’ blanket hog I would’ve never agreed t’let you spend the night.” 

“Mmm, sorry love, it’s a habit.” Harry mutters, placing the blanket so that it lays neatly against her body. 

He pulls her closer to him, tucking her head soothingly against his chest. He cradles her, warming her up as he attempts to also get her asleep again.

“Better, my love?” He asks.

Y/n smiles slightly, lifting her head up so her chin rests softly on his chest. Her eyes meet his, her chest tightening as she looks up at him.

“Much.”

Harry hums, placing a soft kiss upon her forehead, but Y/n sneaks her lips up to catch his, deepening the kiss by pushing his head closer to hers.

She missed this. She missed this almost too much. Waking up next to Harry is like waking up to the sun shining in your eyes. It’s confusing at first, and a little bit frustrating, but no matter how much you turn, no matter how many blankets you try to put over your eyes, it’s still there, shining directly on you. There is no escape, but the shine is so beautiful, and you hear the birds chirping outside the window, it reminds you of the happiest days in life. It reminds you of happiness and hope, love and beauty, escaping it is the last thing you want.

“I love you” she whispers, “I love you more than anything in this world.”

“Say it again” he mumbles, lips still kissing all of her exposed skin, “jus’ one more time.”

She giggles, “I love you, you idiot.”

“And I love you,” he keeps kissing her, “so so much.”

He leans up to kiss her lips again, fingers dancing along her hipbones.

He backs away from her, placing his head against her chest as he smiles, feeling her against him like the feeling of euphoria and bliss. God, how much he missed her. 

“I love spending mornings with you and all,” Y/n interrupts the beautiful silence, “but I’m hungry. Kale smoothie with bananas?”

Harry’s eyes light up, nodding his head like his entire morning had depended on that moment. 

“You know me so damn well, baby. I’ll shower while you whip me some breakfast.” 

He freezes when he finishes his statement, eyes widening as he looks at her, “or should I say, blend me up some breakfast?”

“UGH!” Y/n groans, rolling her eyes as she pushes his head away from her chest, but she can’t help but laugh, “I thought maybe a different girl would fucking tell you how shitty your jokes are.”


While prepping the ingredients, a small knock comes from the front door. Without giving it much thought, Y/n wipes her hands with a towel before heading toward the door.

“C-Cara, h-hi, what are y-“

“I know he’s here, Y/n” Cara mutters, her voice weak as her hands tremble against her body “you can cut the crap.”

Y/n swallows harshly, reluctantly nodding her head as she steps away from the door, allowing Cara inside her house. 

She closes the door quietly, taking a deep breath before turning around to follow her. 

Once she makes her way into the living room, Cara looks around, trying to see if Harry was attempting to hide somewhere.

“So,” Cara starts, “where is he?”

“Oh, uh” Y/n stutters, “he’s showering. You can sit down in the mean time.”

Cara begins to walk around the living room as she waits for Harry instead. There’s this thick tension in the air, Y/n finds it nearly impossible to breathe. She watches as Cara’s fingers graze the frames of pictures taken over the course of Harry and Y/n’s relationship. She never took them down, she didn’t have the heart to. She didn’t want to get rid of their past, even if what they had was over, she never wanted to clear out everything that had been. It would be like throwing away all the happiness in her life, she’d have nothing to live for.

“You looked beautiful” Cara whispered, carefully lifting up a picture of Y/n on her and Harry’s wedding day. 

Cara had never met Y/n during her time of happiness. She’d only ever seen her when the color of her face was drained, when her eyes looked dull and the bags under he eyes were dark. Thinking of it, Cara had never seen her smile, not truly. She never heard her laugh, never heard her say more than a few sentences. Cara always thought that’s just how Y/n acted around her. There has always been tension with them. They didn’t hate each other, they never fought either, but there was always something in the air and in the pit of their stomachs that didn’t settle right whenever they were near each other. But capturing a moment of Y/n’s truest form, in her mermaid wedding dress and the slight sparkle in her eyes when she laughed, she knew it was far more than the tension between them.

“Oh, uh, thank you” Y/n mumbles, coughing slightly once she spoke.

“You naturally glow,” she nods, “Harry told me you do.”

“Look, Cara, I-“

“I’m not mad at you, alright? I’m not mad I’m just-“ she takes a deep breath, her eyes falling to the floor as she tries to compose herself, “I’m just upset.”

Y/n nods understandingly. She takes in a shaky breath, slinking her body against the back of the couch before letting out a small “alright.”

Silence falls between them, and they both pray that Harry will be coming out of the shower soon. Screams, slurs, curses, anything is better than the silence that consumes them.

They both hear Harry’s footsteps coming down from the stairs, Y/n standing up immediately as Cara whips around to face him.

“Love, have you kept a spare tooth br-“ Harry stops dead in his tracks when he sees Cara standing in the living room.

“C-Cara, I-“

“I knew the second you left last night that this was going to happen,” Cara whispers, her throat clenching as she tries to hold back tears, “but I didn’t want to believe it.”

Harry stood frozen by the stairs, not daring to look away from her eyes. He can’t go back to her, he can’t, but knowing that he’s making someone he cares so much about upset makes him feel like scum. He can’t say anything, as much as he tries. He can’t come up with anything to say other than pathetic apologies. 

“I’m so sorry.”

Cara sucks in a breath, shaking her head harshly before she speaks.

Don’t. You aren’t sorry. You aren’t anywhere near it.”

She begins to cry, and she swore to herself on the drive here that she wouldn’t cry, not over this. Not over something she knew was going to happen no matter how hard she didn’t want it to. She refused to cry over something she knew was inevitable. No matter how much she prepared herself for this to happen, leaving Harry is going to be the hardest thing she ever had to do.

She sits on the couch, burying her face in her hands. She always knew she was a spec of dust in his life compared to Y/n. At first, she could have sworn what they had was love. He sacrificed his marriage for her, he left his wife to be with her. But she isn’t dumb. Months after the divorce, he changed. He wasn’t the same man she fell in love with. The way they made love was different, she felt tears on her shoulders sometimes, he didn’t hold her right. He would barely speak to her after he’d seen Y/n, like he was lost in some unknown dimension. When she met his family, she could tell they barely knew anything about her. He never talked about her, not really to anybody, not half as much as he’s talked about Y/n. He wasn’t in love, he was infatuated. She knew this, but she wanted to change him, she was determined to convince him that what they had was love. But some how, in some way, that was her way of trying to convince herself of that, too.

“I’m so fucking stupid. I knew this whole time you still loved her. I knew it, I fucking-I saw it everywhere. For fucks sakes, Harry, you barely looked at me. I can’t even be mad at you for this because I knew you never loved me like you love her. I want to hate you so bad, for keeping me apart of your life even when you were still in love with your wife. I want to hate you so bad for using me just to make yourself feel better, but I can’t, because it’s also my fault that I still held onto a relationship like that.”

She runs her fingers down her hair, her cheeks soaked with warm tears. She lifts her head slightly, but refusing to look at any of them. She can’t look at them, she’ll break.

“And Y/n, I should be in the middle of plotting your fucking murder. Hell, you should be plotting mine, too. But I can’t look at you and hold a grudge toward you. You didn’t-you never pushed anything on us. You complied to everything. You signed divorce papers, you’ve come to our house, you’ve given me time with your daughter for fucks sakes, you’ve given us nothing but space. You never begged him to come back, you never called him, you never hated me the way you should have. And all this time I thought it was because you were naturally a distant person, but looking at that beautifully disgusting wedding picture, I know you did all that because you love him, and you would sacrifice your entire life to make him happy. Or what you thought would make him happy.”

She sighs, wiping off the excess tears. She stands from the couch, walking slowly to that wedding picture, where Harry was lifting the back of her wedding dress, Y/n laughing and looking over her shoulder at him. That glow in her, when she looked at him, that’s the look she never saw in her. But that look he gave Y/n, like everything he had ever needed was right before him, was so unfamiliar to Cara. Even when they both started up a relationship, he had never looked at her like that. Never.

Cara grips the picture tightly in her shaking hands, lifting it up from the stand as she takes one last look at it. She turns to look at Harry, who still hasn’t moved, as if the entire situation has tied him up against his will. She walks toward him, slowly bringing the picture to him. 

He eyes her, confused by her actions, but still doesn’t move. 

Cara grabs onto his hand, moving it so his fingers clench around the frame. He looks down at it, a small smile playing on his lips when he looks back on the day, that beautiful, euphoric day. 

This,” Cara says, “this is your life. And that look on your face? That’s love. I may be upset, and I may never leave my fucking room after this, but this is your life. This is your love.”

She fists her hand on top of his, squeezing it, closing her eyes to allow more tears to wash down her face.

“Don’t ever let it go.“

BTS Reacts: Your Traumatic Accident Causes Paralysis From the Waist Down

Warnings: Contains mentions of blood and amputation.

Seokjin (Jin)

“I’m sorry.”

Seokjin heard the words the doctor had said but they sounded muffled, like he had been submerged under water. Things didn’t seem to make sense, too many emotions running through his head all at once.

“What should I expect when we get home? How am I supposed to take care of her? What is she gonna need help with? What if I come across too overbearing and she hates me for it? Please, I have so many questions-” The words fell from his lips, all running together.

“Sir, a nurse will answer all of your questions before you leave. But she is awake right now, and might need somebody to be with her.”

Jin stared blankly at the doctor, his words running over and over in his mind. She’s awake. I need to go to her, now.

Jin bowed to the doctor, a quick Thank you slipping though his lips as he turned down the hall that led towards your room. Jin exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding and knocked lightly at your door.

Seeing you had made everything feel real. After an hour of talking with you, constantly asking how you were feeling and if you needed anything, he had excused himself to talk with the nurse.

Jin softly closed your door and stared hard at the floor, willing himself not to cry until he made it to the bathroom. But he could already feel the lump in his throat, his eyes starting to well over, tears unwillingly falling down his face. He felt his knees give out and crashed to the floor, covering his face with the oversized sleeves of his sweater and allowing himself to break, hoping you wouldn’t be able to hear him right outside your door.

Yoongi (Suga)

“What?” Yoongi uttered the words before he had even realized, knitting his brows together. “You’re wrong, you have to be,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry, sir,” the doctor said, a look of pity filling his old features.

“No,” Yoongi all but growled. “Fix it, you have to.” Yoongi searched the doctors face, eyes running wild, for any sign that this was just some cruel joke.

“Yoongi-ssi? (Y/N) is stable enough for visitors, if you would like to see her.” A nurse’s small voice appeared beside Yoongi. He nodded once and followed the nurse to your room. She opened the door slowly, and both entered your room. Yoongi could hear the beeping of your steady heartbeat, and his eyes focused slowly on your form lying on the bed.

He could feel the color drain from his face, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing.

“Would you like me to stay?” the nurse questioned lightly. Yoongi shook his head and waited till the nurse left, closing the door behind her to move closer to you. Even from where he stood a couple feet away from you, he could see the bruises on the sides of your upper arms and across your chest where the seat belt had been.

Yoongi took gentle steps towards you and sat on the edge of your bed, taking your hand in his. He traced the shape of your knuckles and wondered how you would react when you woke up, learning that your life had been changed forever. He knew there were still so many things you wanted to do, but now they all seemed so impossible. Tears overflowed but he quickly brushed them away. He would have to be strong for you. And he would do his best to comfort you no matter what.

Namjoon (Rapmon)

“Is she awake enough for visitation?” Namjoon asked. He kept his face stoic, not wanting to show how on the inside he was dying. It felt like his lungs were being tied into knots, his breathing shallow, and a sharp pain in his chest just wouldn’t let up.

“Yes, but not for long. She’s been put on heavy medication and will most likely be asleep within the next half hour.” the doctor responded.

Namjoon bowed deeply. “Thank you for all of your hard work.” He watched as the doctor walked away, and a nurse guided him to your room, knocking lightly on the door.

“It’s open,” came a small voice from inside.

Namjoon could feel his heart shatter. He could hear how unsure you were and could almost see the frown upon your beautiful lips.

The nurse opened the door and his eyes fell on your meager frame laying in bed, bottom lip bruised, and right arm in a sling. “Namjoon-ah…” You called softly, a small tired-stricken smile gracing your lips.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me,” the nurse informed him quietly. He heard the door close and in three long strides, Namjoon was by your bedside, arms gathering your weak frame in an embrace.

“Noona, I’m so sorry,” he breathed into the crook of your neck. You breathed in his comforting scent, something that was so familiar and so welcoming after everything that had happened. He pulled back to look into your tired eyes and could see the medicine the doctor had mentioned was taking affect on you sooner than anticipated.

“I’m scared, Namjoon-ah,” you admitted. You hated admitting things like this, but you felt like your world was falling apart and you didn’t know how you were going to make it through this.

“I know, Noona.” He pushed a strand of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. You nuzzled your cheek into his hand, tears staining his palm. “I know…”

Hoseok (J-Hope)

Hoseok watched as you were wheeled off in a hurry, nurses and doctors rushing past him as they unloaded the ambulance. He wiped at the cut from his bleeding lip, trying to keep up with the rest of the nurses as they rushed you into emergency surgery.

“I’m sorry but you can’t go back there,” a nurse instructed him, stepping in front of him. He looked to the nurse as if she had lost her mind.

“I have to go back there, (Y/N) is back there. What if she needs me, I can’t jus-” Hoseok looked up to watch them wheel your motionless body into two double doors.

“You can wait here until the doctor comes to speak with you. I don’t know how long it will be, so please, make yourself comfortable,” the nurse spoke quickly, as if she had said this too many times. Hoseok sighed and sat in one of the many unoccupied chairs, running a hand through his hair and looked at the clock: 9:43pm. He frowned, eyebrows knitted together lost in thought. The accident had happened so quickly that he hadn’t had time to react to it. The next thing he knew, his car had flipped several times, landing on the passenger side, your side. He could still see the blood rushing from a cut somewhere on the left side of your scalp and how one of your legs were bent at an unnatural angle.

Hoseok shivered, the images that were running wild, thankfully faded away. He looked up back to the clock, surprised to see that almost 4 hours had passed. He stood up to stretch, his body stiff from lack of movement.

“Jung Hoseok?” a voice called. He turned towards the sound, his heartbeat picking up speed when a man in a white coat approached him. Hoseok bowed slightly to the doctor and furrowed his brow in concentration.

“We were finally able to stabilize (Y/N). She lost a lot of blood from her head injury and her left leg was crushed from the weight of the vehicle.” The doctor took a moment to gauge Hoseok’s reaction while he gathered himself. Hoseok could feel the color drain from his cheeks, his eyes becoming wide with disbelief. No…no. No, no, no, this is all wrong.

“We tried, but we were unable to save her leg. We had to amputate from the knee down. I’m sorry.”

Hoseok felt the silent tears that fell down his cheeks. He bowed deeply to the doctor as he walked away, not knowing what else to say. He felt the silent sobs rack through his body, and quickly made his way to the bathroom.

Hoseok placed both hands on the sink and stared down at the floor. He knew you would be devastated. Your love for dancing almost rivaled his, one of the many things that drew him in when you had first met. The tears wouldn’t stop come. How am I supposed to make her smile through this? How am I going to make her happy? Hoseok searched for answers on the tile floor that just wouldn’t come.

Taehyung (V)

Taehyung could feel his breathing becoming uneven, the rise and fall of his chest becoming erratic. He watched every move the doctor made, noting every word he spoke. Words were being thrown around like they were everyday talk: loss of blood, amputation, emotionally unstable.  Taehyung bowed deeply when he was finished, thanking him in a low voice. The doctor walked away, leaving him with the nurse who would lead him to your room.

“I’ll be right outside, should you need me,” the nurse said politely. Taehyung looked at the door. You were just on the other side, unconscious from heavy medication. He licked his lips and swallowed thickly. Taehyung looked back at the nurse, with pleading eyes. 

“…I don’t know…how to handle this,” he said slowly. He watched as the nurses’ eyes softened, her expression changing from a professional one to one of sadness and pity.

“You’re not meant to until things like this happen. How you handle this now will show her what kind of man you are,” she said quietly. “It’s up to you to support her in one of the toughest times in life.” She bowed her head slightly and walked over to another patients room, just down the hall.

Taehyung looked back to the door of your room, a million thoughts running through his head. He slowly opened it, letting his eyes focus on your body lying unmoving on the bed. He closed the door quietly behind him and made his way to stand just a few feet away from your bed. He looked over your body and his gaze landed where your left leg would have been. He swallowed down the lump forming in his throat and quickly looked back to your peaceful face, still unknowing of what happened.

Taehyung took the seat beside your bed and idly played with your fingers, his mind having a million questions and no answers. He wondered how you would react when you woke up, if he would be able to be here with you when you realized what had happened, and if you would blame him if he wasn’t able to be here. Dozens of situations played out in his head, all of them ending with you hating him or your new life.

He brushed his hair out of his face, the tears falling down uncontrollably with no one left to witness it. He let himself cry for you, mourning how your life would drastically change. “Jagiya, I’m so sorry…”

Jimin

All Jimin could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears. He quickly thanked the doctor, bowing slightly and followed the nurse to your room. The nurse stopped in front of a door and looked at Jimin. “If you need anything-”

“Thank you,” Jimin nodded his head, cutting her off and quickly opened your door, wanting nothing more than to see you. He stopped, the color quickly leaving his face as he took in your condition.

You stared back at him, eyes frantic with worry, bruises littering your chest and right shoulder. You played with your fingers, a nervous habit you had been trying to break.

“Jagiya…” Jimin called out. He watched as the tears ran down your face. He quickly made his way to your side, forgoing the chair that was beside the bed, and opting to sit beside you on the edge of the hospital bed.

“Hey, hey hey,” he said softly, placing a comforting hand on the side of your neck, thumb rubbing soothing motions on your cheek. You looked up into his eyes, the ones you adored so much. “It’ll be okay, yeah? I’m here now.” He tried for a comforting tone, but as the last couple of words left his lips, his voice wavered.

Jimin cleared his throat and looked down at his lap. “The boys want to know if it’s alright to visit you later tonight. They want to be here with you for as long as they can.” He looked up to you for your response.

“I would like that a lot,” you smiled softly, eyes still red with tears. You turned to adjust your pillow, so you could sit up better. Jimin quickly wiped away the tears that had began to fall, hoping you wouldn’t notice his tear-stained sleeves. You turned back around, falling back onto the pillow and grabbed his hand. “We could go for sam gyup sal like we always do after promotions. Or we could just go back to the dorm and watch a movie. I know Jungkook really wanted to watch the new Iron Man movie.” You tried for normalcy, almost being able to reach it, but your voice broke at the end.

He watched as the tears filled your eyes. It was the tipping point for him. He felt his heart break into a million pieces as you tried to quietly stich your life back together. Jimin let the tears fall down his reddened cheeks. “Of course, (Y/N). That sounds like fun.”

Jungkook

Jungkook stared blankly, mouth slightly ajar, at the doctor. It’s like he was speaking a completely different language. He knew he should be soaking up all of the doctor’s words, but he couldn’t string them together properly. Words began filtering in through his mind: Car accident, paralyzed, a lot of support.

“Son, are you listening?” The doctor’s voice brought him back to the surface.

“Thank you, sir,” Jungkook bowed deeply, listening to the footsteps of the doctor as he walked away. He felt the tears overflow and watched as the landed on the floor. They kept overflowing, not able to control his rampaging thoughts. Jungkook leaned against the nearby wall, wiping his hands over his eyes and through his hair, letting out an unsure sigh.

What am I going to do? How am I going to face her? What if I cry in front of her? How am I supposed to handle this? I need to talk to Namjoon. I need-

“(Y/N) is stable enough to see you now! She’s not awake, but you can still sit with her if you would like!” The shrill voice of the bubbly nurse pulled him back to reality. Jungkook looked at the overly-perky woman, eyes red, tears still streaming down his face. He quickly wiped away his tears and nodded, the woman smiling brightly.

Jungkook followed her through the halls, trailing a few feet behind her, passing door after door, as he stared numbly at the back of her head.

“Here’s the room! And don’t worry; if you need anything, I’ll be right outside!” she chirped. Jungkook nodded and watched as she walked a couple feet towards the next room over. He looked back at the door; it seemed so unnerving. He held onto the door handle but the action of turning it to wouldn’t come. Why does this feel like one of the hardest things I’ll do? Surely there will be harder things to overcome?

Jungkook looked down at the handle in his hands. (Y/N) needs me. I have to be strong for her. He let out a shaky breath and turned the handle. His eyes slowly focused on your form, laying on the bed, motionless. He walked in slowly and closed the door behind him. The steady beat of your heartrate monitor filled his ears along with the pounding of his own heart. He took in every detail about you: the way your hair was a mess around your face, the large black and blue bruise around your left shoulder, the even rise and fall of your chest from medicated sleep.

Jungkook couldn’t help the tears that once again cascaded down his cheeks, mouth opening in a silent sob. He closed the distance between him and your unconscious body, grabbing your hand that lay by your side and put it up to his face, crying into it. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m so sorry.”

A/N: Guys this is really angsty I’m not sorry.

Gifs used are not mine. Credit goes to their original owners.

Colors (part 14) [Min Yoongi X  Reader]

Genre : Mafia AU

Word count : 8K

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 /Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 15

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by ksjknj

You tried to ‘look’ miles and miles ahead, as far as you could see, even past the horizon.  But All your eyes could capture at that moment was the darkness; nothing beyond that.

“This is the dead end” you said to yourself as you sat on the cold ground, tired of looking, tired of hoping and tired of fighting. The place was just as devoid of beauty, as you were of hope.

“There’s no point” you hid your face between your knees and waited for the nightmare to end. “There’s no hope. Why even try?”

“There’s-” a voice beside you said. You turn your head to look at the man. “There will be, if we keep looking”

“Liar” you mouthed, Min Yoongi gave you a crooked smile. Even in your dream he was a conceited man.

“Why would I lie? Have I ever lied to you?” he questioned.

“You have always lied to me-” Min Yoongi looked straight at you, the color in his eyes melting from deep brown to a shade that was somewhere a mix between caramel gold and hazel green. The light in his eyes was ever changing, from coral to purple; sometimes it was as dark as ebony sometimes as blue and deep as the ocean itself.

“I never lied when I said I was in love with you-”

“When did you say that? I never heard it” you looked away.

“Of course you didn’t” he replied with a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

“What does it matter now? You’re not here anyways. We’ll never see each other again. Also, You’re not real..I’m just dreaming. I’ll wake up soon-”

“You’ll be safe y/n. Where ever you are right now, you’ll be safe with Jin. Trust me.. and trust him.”

You stayed quiet and closed your eyes.

“Isn’t it time for you to wake up? You’ve been dreaming for way too long?”

“I don’t know” you shrugged “Maybe I’m dead”

“Lucky for you dead people don’t dream. Wake up now love.”

“You’re such a horrible human being Min Yoongi, have I ever told you that? And I hate you so much.”

“Liar”

You woke up to the sound of shuffling noises coming from outside, heavy footsteps on the creaking wooden floor, doors opening and closing and a faint murmur in your ear. You could hear the trickling water, sound of dishes clinking. Something heavy getting dragged on the floor, also food. You could smell the rice cooking and Kimchi stew. Were you home? How is that even possible? Maybe all this time.. Everything that happened was really just a long nightmare. And now you’ll wake up and everything will be alright.

You opened your eyes and stared at the white ceiling above. For a long time, you just lay on the bed that didn’t feel really like yours and stared above while listening to the noises coming from outside.

“You should’ve become a chef. Why did you choose a Gun over a fork? I mean if it was me and I had to choose between Min Yoongi and a tasty cheese burger. I would pick a cheese burger any day”

“Shut up and eat your lunch”

You sat up straight on the bed. The morning daze was starting to set in your head as you let your eyes wander around the room, adjusting to the sudden bright light that was coming in through the window in front of you. The room was small, with walls painted in a dull shade of beige and the floor carpeted with grey old newspaper. A brown table sat in one corner with a vase atop of it, a single white lily blooming inside. Other than that, the room lacked any kind of luster.

You removed the blanket that was covering you and found another blanket underneath. It was only when you moved the second layer of blanket from above you; you realized you weren’t wearing your own clothes. You were wearing an oversized t-shirt and no pants. That’s when you quickly crawled back inside the blanket, pulling it up to your shoulder.

“You know she pulled a gun on me last night. Jimin told me once that the girl was “too pure”, “too innocent to even hurt a fly”. Well, I beg to differ. I could’ve died yesterday”

“It was for her safety. I had told you to get her home safely, you chased her around town, scared the crap out of her; obviously she pulled a gun on you. Anyone would. I would’ve shot you without blinking”

“..It’s not that serious. I was just playing with her, I had no intention of killing her of course -”

They were talking about you. You could identify one of those voices out of the two: Kim Seokjin. The other one must be Kim Tae Hyung. You were still listening to the conversation when the bedroom door creaked open and you pushed yourself to the farthest corner of the bed.

Hey.. You’re awake” Seokjin said as he walked in with a tray of food in his hand and all you could do was stare back at him dumbfounded. He looked like a different person today. The Jin who had stood beside you yesterday, the one who had held your hand under the rain, the one with whom you had fled the storm.. He was no longer here.

This man standing in front of you didn’t look burdened, there was nothing holding him back, no unseen force that worried him out. Instead he just looked happy. Relieved and free of all his duties, all his woes and troubles had faded with come morning.

A man who no longer needed to run’.

“I brought breakfast” he placed the tray on the table and turned towards you smiling. Wearing a cream colored turtle neck sweater, moppy brown bed hair with honey glazed eyes beaming in delight, any person in their right mind would deny the fact that this man was a part of some mafia organization.

“Is your head still hurting?”

“No..” you replied politely and played back all the events of yesterday night. The pouring rain, the alley where you hid and that one name still ringing in your head too loud: Kim Tae Hyung.

“You had fever last night. Come here, Let me check again-” he said walking towards the bed when you hastily pulled up the blanket and covered yourself up in embarrassment. “I’ll just check the temperature”

“.. my clothes?” you asked while avoiding his gaze “who changed my clothes?”

Visible red peaked on the apples of your cheeks and Jin saw it.

“They’re in the bathroom. I dried them with a hairdryer last night.. You clothes were all wet and you were burning up so I had to. I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t look-”

“Can you give me my clothes back, please?” you asked

“Of course” Jin nodded before turning around and going out. He came back in with your folded jeans and t-shirt in his hands.

“Here” he placed them on the bed and turned the other way. You changed your clothes under the covers as fast as you could and Jin turned his head slightly and asked

“Are you done?”

“Yes” As soon as you said that he placed his palm on your forehead.

“You don’t have fever anymore that’s good. How’s your head doing now? Is it still swollen? Also, let me look at your hand… should i change the Band-Aid again?”

“He tried  …to kill me. I was so scared. I thought I was going to die” Jin let go of your hand “I thought I was going to die. I didn’t want to die.. After everything that happened..After coming so far”

“I told you to trust me Y/n, didn’t I? You’re safe now”

“I was running and I fell and I hid. But he still found Me.” tear spilled down your cheeks as the trembling words poured out of your mouth “I thought you.. I thought you left; I thought I was never going to see you again. I was all alone and I knew i was going to die. I even begged for him to stop but he-”

“Sssh.. shush it kid. You’re safe now. Nobody is going to hurt you; I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again I promise. ”

“I just want to go home. I want to go home Jin. Why can’t I wake up from this nightmare? Why doesn’t this ever end?” He pushed your head onto his stomach and let you sob on him for some time. Your clutched his sweaters tightly as he placed his one hand on the back of your head and rubbed it gently. Tears kept rolling down your face like the rain last night, soaking his clothes wet again.

“Cry if you have to” Jin talked softly “There’s no shame in crying. Take your time” and so you did.

“Wow! It’s like a happy reunion” suddenly a voice behind Jin spoke up. You remember that voice, that husky deep voice from last night. Ashy blonde hair and deathly cold fingers wrapped around your throat.

‘Kim Tae Hyung’ that’s what he said his name was.

The fear that he instilled inside of you was crippling, you could feel your chest tightening and palms going sweaty all over again. Your eyes widened in absolute dread and panic. You held your breath and clutched Jin’s sweater even more tightly when you heard footsteps slowly making their way inside the room. Right behind Jin he stood now.

“You’re a pretty one, aren’t you?” he said bending a little to look straight at you. And for the first time you got a good look of Kim Taehyung’s face.

In stories and fairytales monsters and ghouls usually look scary; they are supposed to be frightening, with large fangs and burning red eyes. In real life however, monsters don’t look any different. They look like you and they look like him.

Sun kissed skin and a finely sculpted face; you observed the sharp jaw, his chin and cheekbones so prominent when he grinned from one ear to another, eyes murky brown with just a glint of playfulness in them. At first look he wasn’t so displeasing to the eyes but when you looked past that radiant smile and those smooth features there was something so frightening about this man.

And that was the worst part; the fact that he looked so normal, the fact that he could fool the world so easily, make them falsely believe that he was what he actually looked like. It sends a cold jitter through your spine.

You’re not real” you whisper just before turning your face to the other side and shutting your eyes.

“I told you to stay outside” Jin removes his hand from your head and frees himself from your grip to face Taehyung “I told you to not show your face in front of her until and unless I tell you to do so”

“I couldn’t help it. I wanted to see her too.. I didn’t get a good look of her face yesterday. In that alley, it was too dark-”

“Good. Now you can apologize to her face” Jin’s word made you turn your head. “Apologize for what you did to her yesterday.”

“What?” Taehyung scoffed “for what?.. For saving her life?”

“No. Apologize for traumatizing her, for giving her a concussion. Apologize for not doing the job you were given properly”

“Ha! Hyung..” Taehyung eyes made their way to your face and your gaze instantly fell to the ground “I have never even apologized to Yoongi Hyung, not once in my entire life. What makes you think I will apologize to this girl?”

“Because I’m not your ‘Yoongi Hyung’, I don’t just let things pass because you score an ‘A+’ in ripping out the limbs of our enemies. Yoongi purposely forgets the past, i don’t do that. I remember everything. Every single thing we did for you, everything you owe to us-”  a shadow of hesitation that was starting to grow darker on Taehyung’s previously proud face.

“I’m not. Apologizing to her.. You can’t make me” Jin walked past Taehyung and picked up the tray of food from the table before placing it on the bed beside you.

“Then you can leave” Seokjin said so casually while stirring something in the mug with a small spoon “and by ‘leave’ I don’t mean just this room. I mean you can leave this organization”

“Hyung..” a soft yelp like voice came out of Taehyung’s mouth. Seokjin passed the mug to you and you took it from his hand. “You’re joking right?”

“Pack all your stuff and go; you can take the money you stole from Namjoons place. But not the one we gave to you. We have had enough of your childishness; we’re all suffering because of you Taehyung. You’re inconsiderate towards everything we did for you. How easily you forget..We raised you and saved you”

“This isn’t fair!” he yelled. “You can’t do this. You don’t get to decide! That’s not on you”

“We let you have you way with everything. When you wanted to run we let you.. we overlooked your bad behavior, Yoongi was willing to forgive you for that Namjoon incident. Even that girl…Even when you ruined her life-”

“Stop it.. stop it. Shut up hyung. You’re going to throw me out for such a shitty reason?”

“I was the one who bought this place for you. Because I wanted to give you a chance to a better life, you begged for it, remember? You said you loved her. And what did you do in the end? You threw it away, just like that. We keep giving you chances and all you do is throw it away. How many more Tae? I’m tired of looking out for you. You never considered us family so why even stay? Just Go”

“That’s not true”

“You have never failed to disappoint us and you’re ungrateful. Now I can’t bear to look at your face-”

“Hyung please-“

“Go, before I say something that I may regret in the future.”

“I’m sorry…” Seokjin stood taller than Taehyung. Or so it seemed when Taehyung stood with his head hanging so low and Seokjin just stared down at him with eyes lacking any kind of emotion.

“I’m sorry hyung.” Taehyung repeated himself, a drop of tear plopped on the floor. And another one and then another one after that.

“This is the very last one.” Seokjin said to Taehyung “if you fuck up this chance, I’ll consider you dead. You can forget that you ever had a family. Now, Get out of here, don’t show me your face until I call you up.”

Taehyung turned to leave the room but just before he did you saw how his gaze lingered on your face for a second too long. A cold hard stare that was intentional; It was look that conveyed pure hatred. A grudge you sowed inside of him too deep unintentionally. How much was it going to cost you in the future?

“Eat your food now” Jin placed the tray on your lap and you looked at him sadly.

“You were too harsh” He smiled hearing your words and placed a hand on your head ruffling up your hair.

Tough love

-

The dawn was breaking; The morning sun was peaking through the horizon, slowly emerging from behind the greats valleys as the rays of gold dribbled on the world around him, silhouette of houses were now visible, the vacant road in front of him finally showed a way. Hues of orange and red bled across the ocean of blue, light hits him across the face and he shields his burning eyes with his one hand.

Min Yoongi emerges from the dark, not tall and brave like a hero but more drained out of life. Tired both physically and mentally, his eyes were heavy and stingy, every muscle screamed in pain. Every nerve in his body was pushing him down to the ground forcing him to surrender but he still kept going.

He walked all the way to this scanty little town, for 2 hours straight he walked and walked and walked some more. And now, here he was, standing right in the middle of this unfamiliar town with not even a dime in his pocket only a gun and pack of cigarettes, he left the car in a ditch and his phone was out of battery. How was he supposed to contact anyone? Where was he supposed to go from here? The only person he knew he could contact he didn’t know how to?

“Fuck” Yoongi cursed and sat on the side walk. The world slept peacefully around him while he was dying to scream his lungs out. There wasn’t a single soul on this earth that he didn’t hate at that very moment.

As he sat there staring into the abyss he felt a presence around him. He turned his head to the left and found an old man staring at him from a far distance. Even when Yoongi saw him, the man was unhinged and just kept looking; instead of turning away he started walking straight towards Yoongi.

Yoongi watched as the old man slowly strutted towards him and stopped at the safe distance. He looked like he was in his 50s, with salt and pepper hair unkempt & unruly; he wore a torn old blazer and under those he was wearing basketball shorts. His shoes were worn out too.

“Do you have some change?” the old man spoke in a broken raspy voice. Yoongi scoffed at the man’s request. He’s the one who needs money so desperately right now.

“Help a man out” the man said. The old man’s presence made him feel miserable, helpless and even a little angry.  

“No” Yoongi replied, trying hard not to show his growing frustration “But I have a cigarette. Do you want one?”

Lucky for both of them the old man carried a lighter with himself for reasons unknown. Yoongi didn’t bother to ask ‘why’. The man sat beside him now as both of them smoked and puffed out a cloud of grey one after another.

“A young man like you shouldn’t be smoking. It’s bad for your lungs”

“I gave you a cigarette not the right to become my father” Yoongi inhaled slowly, sucking in his cheeks and letting the smoke seep through this system. His lungs felt warm as if wrapped cozily in a fur blanket.

“Has nobody ever told you that smoking is bad? Smoking was one of the reasons why my wife left me. The bigger one being I cheated on her but that’s not the point- ” The man was tripping on all sorts of irony . “The point is when someone who cares for you tells you to stop doing something; you should stop doing it for your own good. I learned the hard way”

“ I wouldn’t know. I don’t have people in my life who give such life changing advices-”

“World is already so cold.” The old man continued “It’s better to have a friend or two in such places. That way surviving become a little more easier kid”

“why do we even bother?” Yoongi sighed. His face was cloudy behind the smoke“In the end it’s all for nothing. Friends, family.. Love.. In the end this is what we’re left with” he said staring at the butt of cigarette that was left between his fingers.

“It isn’t all for nothing. In the end, we all leave a mark that people remember, good or bad. Whatever it may be.. There are people who look up to us, people who wait for us…There must be someone waiting for you?”

“Probably. Probably not”

The old man got up and crushed the cigarette underneath his shoes and wiped his hands clean on his coat before turning to Yoongi

“You’re wrong kid. About a week ago I was roaming the streets like I do every day when this boy came up to me, he didn’t tell me his name but he said he had a work for me. All I had to do was go around town everyday and look for someone.”

Someone?” Yoongi listened intently.

“ “A young man, between 22 or 23, bright green hair and awfully pale skin – Pretty easy to spot. He’ll come here one day. And when he does you bring him to me and I will pay you 10grands in cash”. I called bullshit on it but the boy placed a fat dollar on my hand and I was hooked. And here you are now.” the man smiled, in the process showing his one missing front teeth.

“So you came here to escort me” Yoongi smiled both inside and out. “Why didn’t you just say that in the beginning?”

“I was seeing for myself what kind of person you are. What am I really delivering? I believe you’re a good person”. That’s the first one, Yoongi thought.

“But also, you’re my paycheck. It’s like god has a purpose for us all. Enough talk, shall we go? My hands are already itchy”

“hey, Just a warning” Yoongi said while getting up and dusting his hands from behind “If you try to do something shady or this is some kind of trap I will put a bullet through your skull first before anyone else” the old man nodded and asked Yoongi to follow him and Yoongi obliged.

The man led him from one street to another, weaving through labyrinth of roads and narrow alleys, the town looked like maze to Yoongi. The small town sat so still, sleeping quietly under a blanket of silence. No cars jammed the road, no sign of life anywhere around. But Every now and then, His eyes would catch a humanoid form in a far distance, sometimes it was an old person opening a shop or some man doing his routine morning exercise. The early morning mist was starting to fade away and he could now feel the warmth of sun on his pale skin. Even though he had always been a morning person, strangely it was the first time Min Yoongi was witnessing the universe around him.

“Is it always so quiet? This place?” Yoongi asked the old man who was walking ahead of him.

“It is a very small village town. With barely 20,000 people living here! I was born here and so were my mother and father. The younger ones have all left for bigger cities, the ones who remain are like me. Old and all alone. Do you like it?”

“Its peaceful” Yoongi replied and walked the rest of the way quietly.

When they finally reached their destination Yoongi found himself trapped between two brick walls inside a congested narrow alleyway where the day light wasn’t passing, a sharp smell of stagnant water and Chinese food was too heavy in the air. The place was gloomy and cold, the ground was wet and muddy and he could feel eyes all around him. people stared at him from above, poking their head out of the windows and looking at him as if he was the first ever human to step inside their ghost town.

The man knocked on the door in front of them, exactly 4 times.

“By the way, my name is Choi Dong ho. What about you?” he asked making some space, pushing Yoongi a bit in the process to look at him.

“Let’s not get too friendly right now. I’ll tell you after we get inside. How about that?” Yoongi gave him a fake smile and the man shrugged.

“Works for me”

Choi knocked on the door again four times… After waiting for sometime Yoongi heard a loud clunk on the other side and the door flew open.

“It’s 6 in the fucking morning you better have something amazing to tell us” It was women, to Yoongi’s surprise. He lifted his eyes and found something very familiar when he started mapping that face. A bleached blonde hair, tinted lips and a natural pout that made her look arrogant. Eyes big and glossy and skin ivory and clear, and that rude way of addressing everyone.. Was she always this cold? How is it that He never noticed it before?

“Did you knock on the door for fun? Now talk quickly. What is it?”

“I… I bought.. the person- Uh, you asked me to-”

“What? Speak clearly you old bag of-“

“Minah” Min Yoongi interrupted the stammering old man and looked straight at the girl. For a second she showed no sign of recognition, her eyes remained blank as she tilted her head and looked at Min Yoongi while fluttering her coated eye lashes a few times.

“Min.. Yoongi” she clucked her tongue. The name came out of her mouth with a slight giggle “You finally came. I thought my hair was going to turn white waiting for you”

“Who else is with you?”

“Shouldn’t you be more concerned about me?” she replied leaning against the frame of the door, hands crossed over her chest “I know you didn’t miss me but I missed you”

“Who else is with you?”

“Come inside and find out” she said making way for him to go inside. The old man started following Yoongi but she stopped him.

“Not you.”

“What about my money?”

“Why don’t you come back tomorrow?”

“That’s not fair. Hey wait-!” Minah closed the door on his face and Yoongi almost felt bad for the man.

“So, was it worth it?” Yoongi ignored her question and kept walking up the stairs behind her. “Screwing everyone over for a girl?”

“You always boosted about putting the organization first. Above everything, nothing mattered to you. You said you couldn’t feel, you weren’t allowed to” She stopped and looked back at him over her shoulders. “And I accepted that.”

“Walk” Yoongi ordered and she continued walking.

“I always thought the fault must be in me. But now I have realized you’re the one with serious issues Min Yoongi”

She stopped in front of a door and just stood there quietly.

“But you know what..This is just karma. You don’t deserve anything good in life Yoongi. You don’t deserve the happiness you snatched away from my life. I prayed to god that he made you suffer everyday-”

“Minah..

…Have you always been this cold?” She finally turned and looked at Yoongi . “It’s sad. The world is already cold enough. And people like you tend to make it worst. No offense, I don’t hate you. I just pity your vain existence”

The door opened behind them

“Hyung!”

Yoongi smiled, for the first time in forever, he had a reason to be happy. He had realized he had warmth in him after all.

The house remains too quiet even with 3 people living in it. You rarely ever step out of your room fearing you would bump into Taehyung, Jin locks himself in his room often and comes out only to cook or to ask you how you’re doing. Taehyung is the only one who creates any kind of noise in the house – coming in and going out often, moving furniture, opening drawers and just throwing random stuff around and leaving mess on his way out.

Days pass by in a flurry; for the time being you’re living here, you decide to pretend like it was your own house. Helping Jin in cooking, cleaning the house and doing the dishes often. You spent your days reading books, sleeping or just wandering around the house like a ghost.

“I was thinking It would be nice to step out. I get kind of bored staying in the house”

“It’s not safe” is what Jin always said in return “I have informants all over the town that’s why I’m saying it. After a while maybe.. When things simmer down…they’re still looking for us. Yoongi’s dad is a powerful man Y/n” that always shut you up.

A week later you were all alone in the house. Jin said he needed to meet someone so he had to go out, it was important he said.

“Lock all the doors” you nodded “If Taehyung comes home make sure he doesn’t see you. He’s still pissed. Food is in the fridge and don’t go out.”

“I won’t”

“If something bad happens call me”

“I will”

“We trust each other right?” you stayed quiet, moving around an imaginary rock with your one foot “fine, then maybe I won’t come home”

“I trust you” you answered like a kid being questioned by their parents.

“And I trust you” it has become some kind of ritual between you and him. To always assure each other every day that trust is maintained. He places a hand on top of your head to mess up your hair. And brings you into hug..

“I’m scared of Taehyung. What if he tries to attack me?”

“You can attack him first”

“Should I hit him with a pan?”

“He could die…

-Just make sure to check later on that he’s breathing-” you both laughed and he let you go and placed a light kiss on your forehead.

“I’ll be back soon” you waved him goodbye with a heavy heart and locked the door after him.

After he left you did every possible chore in the house that needed to be done; you cleaned and washed and even cooked. Then read a book and cleaned some more. You were sitting on a chair, your head flat on the table as you stared out the window when your eyes started feeling heavy and you drifted away.  

A loud thump startled you. You had drooled over the table; you wiped it with the back of your sleeve and looked around. The left half of your face felt numb.

“You must be dreaming about something really good” You gasped too loud when you found Taehyung sitting in front of you. He had a water bottle in his one hand and sat comfortably with his chin propped on his other hand while he looked at you.

“What do you dream about Y/n?” he asked and you chose not to answer instead got up to go to your room when his voice stopped you.

“Sit down, don’t be disrespectful sweetie” he brought the bottle up to his mouth and gulped the water. You sat down.

“How did you get in?”              

“I thought you were pretty and smart. sad, you’re just pretty. This is my house in case you weren’t aware after so long. I have the house keys.”

“That’s nice.”

“Isn’t it lovely? This house?”

“It is” you replied “..Lovely”

“Pathetic how some people come into your house and start acting like it’s their property. Rats I tell you! And then you get threatened of getting thrown out of your own house” He glared at you. You avoided his gaze and looked at your own hands placed flat on your lap.

“Suddenly you’re more important than me? Who are you even? I should’ve killed you in that alley.. And lied to hyung that I never found you. I was being too nice-”

“Why does a worthless shit like you deserve so much attention? You’re nothing you know that. Stop acting high and mighty Look at me when I’m talking to you-” you didn’t listen.

“Yah! I said look at me when I’m talking to you. or I’ll tie a fucking rope on your head and pull it-“

“Go to hell” you said finally lifting your gaze. “Go to hell and eat shit”

Taehyung leaned back and looked at you, eyes widened in surprise.

“What did you just say to me?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not scared of you anymore. You can’t even touch me. So bark all you want but you can’t really bite. You’re a crazy fuck and you need to stay away from me-” a high pitched laugh came out of Taehyung’s throat.

“I’m going to fucking kill you right now, how about that”

“No you’re not. You can’t! You won’t.” He got up and his chair fell to the ground behind him. Taehyung walked towards where you were sitting and grabbed your sleeve with his one hand pulling on it.

“Get up” he ordered. “Get the fuck up you rat”

“Let go of my shirt”

“I’ll drag you out of his house by your hair. You think Jin is always going to be around to protect you? ” You got up and pushed him with both your hand and he fell back, hitting his back on the sink.

“This bitch..” he mumbled and before turning towards you. “Fuck it. I’ll just strangle you right here, right now”

And before you knew anything else your hand grabbed the closest weapon near you and you threw it at his head. It turned out to be a big wooden bowl that hit right above his left eye.

“Aaah. What the fuck-?” he held his palm over the bruised surface “Did you just hit me with a fucking bowl! YOU BITCH!” before he could look properly at you, you fled to safety and locked yourself in the room.

Jin stood outside the gate of the house with an umbrella in his one hand, even though the day was great he couldn’t risk being seen in public. Each time he went out he had to wear a mask and shades to hide his eyes. He felt confined; even though he was free he wasn’t really. Jin looks up at the sky and sighs.

The weather was great. It was a cloudy day; the sun was hidden behind the wispy woolen blankets and there was bit of warmth in the air, a breeze passed through his hair and he closed his umbrella. He removed his face mask and glasses and took a deep breath. At home at least he could breathe freely.

He opened the front gate and stepped inside, closing the gate behind him. Jin started walking towards the door. The key was in his overcoats left pocket and there was a book in his other pocket. He bought it for you. That was your only medium entertainment left. That and the television but you didn’t really seem to enjoy that. He wished for you to go out, take a walk in the park. You asked for it numerous times but he couldn’t allow that. On one such good day he’ll take you out of that cage. But until then..

Seokjin unlocked the door and pushed the door open stepping inside.

“I’m home” he placed the umbrella in a corner and removed his shoes before walking in. Home felt strangely quiet today.

“Y/n? you there-?” is she sleeping again? Jin wondered as he walked in. He heard a loud BANGING noise.

“OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU LITTLE SHIT-“

Seokjin looked around. The place looked like it was hit by a tornado. Tables and chairs were turned over, broken plates were on the floor and Taehyung was trying to kick down the door with his foot.

“FIRST I’LL BREAK OPEN THIS DOOR! AND THEN I’LL BREAK OPEN YOUR FUCKING HEAD!”

“Taehyung…”

“Open!

THIS!!

FUCKING!!!

DOOR!!!”

“TAEHYUNG!”  Seokjin yelled and Taehyung finally turned to look at him. In that moment Jin saw how Taehyung’s eyes lacked any kind of light, pupils dilated in nothingness. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold and hard.

“Taehyung..” Jin called out to him more softly. There was a bruise glowing red right above his eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m going to strangle that little shit. I should’ve done it in the alley. I should’ve broken the damn door in the headquarters but Jimin had stopped me. I’m going to find a sledge hammer and break this door-”

“TAEHYUNG! Have you lost it? You’re talking about killing an innocent kid! Get a grip on yourself”

“WHY DO YOU CARE? WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT HER? WHY DOES EVERYONE FUCKING CARE ABOUT HER SO MUCH?”

“It’s because of us she’s here. It was our fault”

“It’s because of her we’re here hyung. It her fault we have to hide, why everything is a mess. And we’re still protecting her. Do you care more about that girl than your brother? Answer me! ” Jin saw hurt in Taehyung’s eyes.

“We’re family tae, we will always be”

“THEN WHY WOULD YOU PICK HER OVER ME?”

“..Because.. Yoongi wanted it.” was all Jin could say “Yoongi wanted me to protect her”

“Yoongi hyung isn’t here. He doesn’t need to know”

“Taehyung NO.. We can’t do that, I can’t do that to Yoongi-“

“Why is it always for him? Why is it always you and him hyung, tell me? Are we all just pawns to use when you don’t want to dirty your hands? If that’s so.. then stop giving us this family bullshit when it means nothing to you! Specially you hyung-”

“Taehyung wait-“before Seokjin could say another word Taehyung walked past him so fast, leaving him speechless. He heard the door getting closed with a loud BANG and then the house was silent again.

He dragged his feet towards your bedroom and knocked on the door lightly. ‘

“Open the door Y/n, its me.” he knocked on it again “Taehyung left. You can come out now”

The door knob turned and clicked, the door slowly opened

“He’s not here anymore” Jin reassured. You stood there clutching a vase in your one hand. The moment you saw him the vase fell from your hand to the ground. All Your efforts of trying to hold it in failed miserably. Your lips trembled and shoulders heaved emotionally just before you crashed into him without a second thought.  

“Hey! I’m here now” Jin wrapped himself around you, shielding you in every possible way he could.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’ll do a better job next time. I promise-”

A silent howl of pain came out from your throat, you trembled underneath him and all he could do was hold you more tightly.

“Hey look at me” Jin held your face and made you look at him, with his thumb he wiped your tears away.

“I’ll take you somewhere okay; someplace where you’re safe. We’ll go somewhere nicer” he moved a strand of hair sticking to your face “I’ll take you to a warmer place, where you can go out any time of the day, where you’ll be happy. Where you’ll be safe. You trust me right?” you nodded while beads of tears kept flooding down your face and he smiled.

“I’ll take you there. I promise Y/n. We’ll find you a home together-“

The boy was 14 when Yoongi saw him for the first time. He was just a timid little boy, not even brave enough to look anyone in the eye. His skin was bruised all over and so was his soul.

“I want to be brave” He had said. “I want to be powerful. Just like you

He recalls the day now as he sits on the sofa and looks out the window behind him. Powerful, just like him?

“Hyung..” Yoongi turned instinctively and found Jimin handing out a bottle of alcohol to him. He didn’t look like that boy anymore. That boy was long dead. Yoongi was proud of what he had made.

“It’s a pretty view isn’t it?” Jimin asked as he sat on the armchair in front of him. “You can see the sunset in the evening and the mountains are a pretty sight too. That’s the only perk of living inside this cardboard box sized apartment.”

“How did you know I would come here?” Yoongi asked taking a sip of the bitter liquid.

“You had told me.” Jimin replied with a small smile “Jimin-ah! When shit hits the fan and you don’t know which way to go.. just come here. Stay there and hyung will find you.”

“You remember that?” Yoongi twirled the bottle lightly in his hand and watched the drink fizz up. “That was years ago and I was a bit drunk”

“You were a lot drunk” Jimin’s smile grew bigger to the point where his eyes closed up and two straight lines replaced them. His smile was admirable – the way his face would scrunch up and the top row of perfect front teeth would show up, he had the type of smile that led people into believing that everything in the world was made up of happiness and love. Yoongi smiled in return.

“But I knew you were serious even back then”

“And how did you know that?”

“Because this is where your mother was born” Yoongi stopped drinking mid way “You always said you wanted to come here at least once. Though you only said that when you were drunk.”  

He took another sip, the beer felt weirdly bitter than before.

“You didn’t come here looking for me, did you hyung?”

“I have an uncle, my mother’s older brother who lives here. I lost contact with him a year ago. He seemed like good guy, always told me to visit him. I was the only family he had left. And same was the case for me. I thought if I could find him I’d have a place to crash -.”

“You do still have a family” Jimin said before getting up “You have me now and we’ll find the others. Hoseok, Taehyung and Jin hyung and we’ll get to them-“

“I let Jin go” Yoongi said placing his empty bottle on the table “I purposely told him to go, leave”

“Why?”

“My father was going to sell Y/n to Hani. I couldn’t see him destroy someone’s life like that right in front of me while I watched helplessly. I knew I couldn’t fight back so I told Jin to take her somewhere far where she’s safe, no matter how long it took-”

“Then you did well. If it saves her life then you did good hyung”

The bedroom door opened and both of them looked over at Minah who came outside. She didn’t even bother to glance at any one of them and made her way straight to the kitchen

“What is she doing here?”

“When Hoseok and I fled we crashed at her place on the first day. We decided to go different ways, Namjoons men found out we’d been hiding at her place. So she had to tag along.”

“You two have been sleeping together-?” Yoongi’s bluntness surprised Jimin a bit.

“What-? Her? No, not even once. She’s not really my type. On top of that she seems kind of clingy. Also I know you had some kind of history with her so-“

“Good” Yoongi said getting up “She’s not just clingy, she’s also crazy. Stay away from her”

As Yoongi was making his way towards the bedroom, Jimin’s voice stopped

“About Y/n.. Do you know where she’s now?” Yoongi looked at the boy curiously “I mean.. I was just wondering. Maybe when things are better in the future, I can see her.”

“Why do you want to see her?”

“I have a lot to say to her that’s all” Jimin shrugged “We became fond of each other when we were in that room. I kind of liked her-“

“You liked her?” Yoongi’s question came out with a laugh.

“I think it was more than that but I don’t know-” a slight tremor was starting to grow in Yoongi’s chest. He was a little taken aback by that strange feeling. “It’s more guilt than anything else. I couldn’t apologize to her. I wanted to, that day when I came to Namjoons place.. But I never got to see her. I should’ve been the one to save her-”

“She trusted me and i was the one who handed her to Namjoon. I had promised her I would keep her safe-“

“I was the one who asked you to do that-”

“I bet she hates me now”

“Jimin, listen-“

“I should’ve never kissed her” something loud snapped inside of Yoongi. It cut him open, left him frozen on the spot. Unmoving he stared at the boys face in front of him and for just split second, he hated Jimin, he hated every inch of him. Hated his bright smile and hated how his eyes sparkled at that moment.

“I don’t know why I did it? But I just wasn’t thinking at that moment. It happened in the car and it wasn’t normal. I have kissed girls before but it was different with her. It felt as if my world was collapsing.”  

..But most importantly Yoongi hated the fact that out of every living body on this earth it had to be him.

“I should’ve never kissed her cause now I can’t stop thinking about it. Even after so many days”

..Anyone but him

“Why are you telling me this right now?”

“Because. Hyung, we’re not allowed to feel. You said to me once “Us, we don’t get to love, love becomes an obstacle. Stop feeling and you’ll live easier”. But I don’t know how to.. I don’t know how to stop feeling anymore.”

..Why him?

“I don’t know Jiminie. I wish I did. I wish I could help you. I’m sorry”

Yoongi opened the door and stepped inside the bedroom and locked himself in.

“Do you want to hear a poem?”

“Which one?”

“Ummm… let me think” Jin gave it a long thought. “Aaah it’s a short one. It’s called: Meet me at midnight

“Tell me”

“Meet me at midnight, in the forest of my dreams.

We’ll make a fire and count the stars that shimmer

Above the trees”

You stayed quiet and so did Jin for some time.

“Why? You don’t like it?”

“No” You shook your head “It just makes me sad”

“That means it’s a good poem” he smiled, moving his one hand under his head to support it.

“Do you want me to tell you another one?”

You shook your head again.

“I should just feel really sleepy. You should go to sleep too. Goodnight Jin” you pulled the blanket up to your face and closed your eyes.

“Please, Tell me.” you heard him “Tell me what is bothering you. I’ll do anything to make it stop y/n.”

“I hate it” you looked up at him “I hate everything right now”

“I know” he replied sadly placing a hand on your cheek.

“I hate this house and I hate Kim Taehyung. I hate Min Yoongi! I hate his father. I hate this life so much. I don’t deserve all this? Then why me?”

“Tomorrow will be better”

“Nothing ever gets better. It keeps getting worst. I hate it! I hate everything”

“Even me?” It was happening again. The tears started to pool up in your eye all over again, the wall of hope – no matter how many times you build it up – always came crashing down, muffled sobs and tear stained bed covers is all that you’ve seen all day long. It hurts to even cry anymore.

“No..Not you-” you replied sniffling. Jin smiled and brought his face closer to place a kiss on the apples of your cheek. He leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes all the while you gawked at him with eyes wide open and fluttering eyelashes.

“Do you want to hear another poem?” He whispered

You nodded.

The days were lonely

And the nights were cold

But I never stopped searching for your warmth

Before I finally found your love in a place we called home”  

And then he opened his eyes, leaned in and kissed you. You were startled, you gasped but you never pushed him away. There was no spark in it, no flames were ignited no butterflies ever left the cage. You just closed your eyes and decided to melt. It was just an innocent kiss; time slowed down and heart beats synchronized. The world became quieter. Just you and him, no pain, no war and no suffering..

“Let’s go out tomorrow. I’ll buy you some ice-cream”


 A/n: Thank you for reading colors and liking it.♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ) Do tell me your opinion! did you like it? Do not hesitate to send an ask or PM. Have an amazing day xoxoxo

Ps: both the poems were by ‘Christy Ann Martine’! do check her out she writes amazing poems.


anonymous asked:

I wonder why stylists dresses jimin up like doll because during debut he had that manly image going on on. Lik how did the transition from manly to doll-like happened?

Anon: Sorry to bother you, I’m so smitten by your blog anyway. We all know Jin, V and Jungkook are the visual line. But I guess Jimin is the “doll” of the group? I think once you mentioned something like this. What I mean is that BigHit (or whoever in charge) seems to dare a lot with him aesthetically speaking. I don’t know if you got what I mean 😂 by the way I need to remark that he slayed every color/style tbvh  

Anon: Can we please appreciate the fact that everyone over at bighit hq gave up on trying to make jimin look manly and rough? They’re like “go and look cute idgaf anymore”   It’s really run era but softer lol            

Jimin’s is very sensitive to the latest fashion trends. And he’s equally sensitive to the fans’ reactions to his face, his body. That hasn’t changed at all since debut. But what has changed is how he wants to be perceived, and more importantly, how he seems to perceive himself.

I mention this a lot but nearly every aspect of how Jimin conducts himself - the way he walks, even the way he talks - has changed dramatically in the last couple of years. (I know most of you can’t speak Korean and may have a harder time distinguishing his speech patterns, but just listen to how he enunciates words back then versus how he speaks now. You can only really hear traces of his “old” way of speaking when he over-exaggerates his satoori or is acting - like in the recent vlive sketch.) So somewhere along the way, a very clear shift happened as Jimin matured, and I think there is a direct link between his change in personality and his change in fashion.

Stylists actively work with each member and take their cues as inspiration. Sometimes it works (everything Jimin does tbh) and sometimes not so much (Jin hated his bangs;; I thought it was cute;;?). But even by idol standards, Jimin’s willingness to experiment makes it possible for the coordis to push the envelope in how they dress him. That’s why he may be willing to appear more androgynous and doll-like. It’s something I don’t think Jimin from 3-4 years ago would have been willing to try. 

There’s No Place Like Home (3)

Avengers x Reader x Bucky

Summary: What happens when a fictional world comes to life? Drama ensues.

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 800+

Part 1 Part 2

Originally posted by imaginingbucky

“What do you mean that there’s no information about her?” Sebastian–Bucky snapped at Scarlett–Natasha. “How is that even possible? There has to be some trace of her somewhere!”

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