i had to because glasses

when we first got married i had to psych myself up every time to say “my wife” to a new person. it was awkward because with “girlfriend” a lot of people would just assume i meant “friend,” and of course “fiancée” is gender-neutral when spoken, so we’d always had plausible deniability. but the meaning of “wife” is pretty unavoidable. still, i made myself do it on principle, and slowly but surely it became natural.

now i love saying “my wife,” to everyone all the time. i love saying it to the old woman distributing the strawberries at the farm share, asking if she knows where i can still get rhubarb because every summer i make my wife a pie. i love saying it to the gay employee helping me at crate and barrel, telling him i’m buying these glasses because my wife and i both had them growing up, and seeing his eyes light up. i love saying it to friends of friends and to new acquaintances and to potential coworkers and to the women at the laundromat. i love being aggressively out, and i love having such an easy way to be aggressively out. i love being the first woman with a wife someone has ever met, making our existence part of their reality. i love being visible for other lgbt people who might feel a little less alone knowing i’m there, which helps me push past the fear when it comes. most of all, i love not hiding. i love saying “my wife” and i love my wife.


**FAIR WARNING XD inappropriate and crude**

Host: Give it up for the couple that has been through it all: Mare Barrow and Cal CALOOOOOOORE!

Cal: Now that I think back to a few days ago,

I remember hesitatin’ instead of just saying no!

Mare, bitch, this thing worked until I had to choose,

But what did you really think that I would rather lose?

A whining bitch who had lost her siblin’ and her life?

Well, Mare, maybe you should look at other people’s strife!

‘Being held captive wasn’t much fun’

Still I wish things were different, my lil’ lightning hun,

Mare: Your feeble little ‘insults’ put me to shame,

Your ability is fire but you can’t even throw a flame!

I ain’t int’rested in being your queen or ya wife,

An kingdom gone crazy will reach for a knife.

And where will I be while Nana mourns you in song?

At my brother’s grave bastard, to where you never came along!

You said that, just maybe, I could’ve advised?

So I’d stand there while the other houses speak lies?

Well, I ain’t int’rested in that either,*

Ev’ryone would just look at me like I’m beneath her.

Cal: You could’ve never been Queen, that woulda failed,

You’d be killin’ off Silvers or gettin’ them jailed!

And what would you have been doing in Court?

“Could you please reach that shelf?” cuz you’re so short!

Audience: *glances nervously at Mare*

                    [long moment of silence]

Mare, to the audience: Well that’s funny coming from him, you guys,

Cuz the only thing that’s short here is his p*nis size!

[Audience “oohs” while Cal raises his eyebrows at Mare]

Mare: Maybe I shouldn’t tell lies–

Cal, smirking: Maybe you shouldn’t ;)

Mare: Maybe the red dawn will rise,

Cal: What if it couldn’t?

What if I’d be making Reds free?

What if I’ll get the other kings to agree?

Mare: We can do that on our own, thanks a lot,

Your belief in yourself is all that you’ve got!

Now I’m sick and tired of arguin’ with you,

You made it quite clear that you and I are through.

Cal, your future wife will sure be f*cked up–

Cal: Mare, your future husband will sure be in luck.

[the crowd goes wild]

*either, pronounced ee-thur not i-thur. ;) Kinda ruins the rhyme scheme thing I had (kinda) goin’ on


From The Desk Of…

Go read this amazing, well written and beautifully executed story that will steal your heart from the get go.

The pictures above are my humble way of saying thank you to the wonderful writers @fictorium @bridgetteirish

Remember back in November when I had control over my life and didn’t spend all my time writing rebelcaptain feels and reading thousands of words of beautiful rogue one fics and entertaining the idea of calling for rebelcaptain smut prompts and my phone didn’t list rebelcaptain as an autocorrect option before my own freaking name? No me neither. I’m never going back

sage-91  asked:

Did they literally forget the episode where Bubbles sets out to prove how tough she is? Ya know the one, where she completely mutilates half a dozen monsters at once???

That episode is honestly why I write her like that 

everyone thinks Buttercup is the strongest because she’s sporty and masculine but Nope 

It’s Bubbles

Originally posted by jenntsukiyomi

I honestly don’t know what I just drew. XD
I don’t even know why I made Pewds Nugget, likewise for Mark xD (I think it’s because the dude had glasses)

Anyways, I have 8 days left till round 2 of my publics, so have this random piece of thing I did based on Kindergarten, cause that’s the only video I managed to watch lately.

Oh yeah, since many of you guys have been wanting me to do more ‘behind the screen’ drawings, the nex post will definetelt be that!

You Steal the Air out of My Lungs (You Make Me Feel It)

*click through to read on ao3

written by: Emily | @prosciuttoe

prompt: ‘I know that you think I hate you but I swear to God I didn’t mean to hit you with my car.‘

word count: 2815

The funny thing is, under entirely different circumstances, Clarke’s pretty sure that she and Bellamy Blake could have been friends.

The first time she meets him, Kane is introducing them and he’s supposed to be showing her the ropes, since it’s her first day at the bookstore. He has a well-worn copy of Howl’s Moving Castle sticking out of his bag, freckles, and dark, messy curls that Clarke really wants to run her fingers through. (She’s… pretty intrigued, if she’s being entirely honest.)

But then he opens his big, stupid mouth, and suddenly all of her feelings of goodwill go up in smoke, because Bellamy Blake is, undoubtedly, a massive asshole.

He won’t stop calling her Princess, for one, and makes a face every time she so much as asks a question about the cash register. The constant jibes about her having gotten the job due to nepotism (so their boss may also be her mom’s fiancé, sue her) certainly don’t help either, and he actually laughs when a book display falls on her foot.

Suffice to say, he is definitely not her favorite person. On particularly bad days, she entertains a fantasy or two of shoving him down a flight of stairs. On worse ones, she dreams of pushing him down a manhole.

Still, murderous tendencies aside, Clarke doesn’t mean to actually run him over with her car.

Keep reading

Viktor and Yuuri 100% have that meet cute story that everyone else finds hilarious but that they find just unbearable and embarrassing and hate retelling.

“VITYA, VITYA,” Mila cries at some fancy function or other, dragging Viktor into her conversation by the elbow. She’s a little drunk, and a lot loud. “Vitya, tell them about how you met your husband; tell them about Yuuri!”

“Ah,” Viktor stutters, trying to broadcast HELP ME! towards his husband, currently trying to figure out how many jalapeno poppers he can fit on one plate. Yuuri misinterprets the look; he frowns down at the jalapeno poppers and puts exactly two of them back. “Well he–my husband is amazing, I love him very much–”

“TELL THEM HOW YOU MET!” Mila bleats into his face. She’s vibrating with excitement. Yuuri is slowly making his way towards their little congregation. The group Mila is talking to consists of two ice dancers (Not a pair; one Italian and one…Finn, maybe?), an ISU official, Emil Nekola, and someone’s mom.

“Haven’t you heard this story before?” Viktor mutters at Emil.

“I never get tired of it!” Emil says delightedly. “Have you met Micky and Sara’s mom? She’s a lovely woman.”

“Vityaaaaa,” Mila whines. “Tell them–”

“I brought you some jalapeno poppers,” Yuuri says to Viktor, appearing at his side finally. “They’re wrapped in bacon?”

“Yuuri, I was just telling these people the story of how we met,” Viktor tells him, taking two jalapeno poppers and immediately shoving them in his mouth. He shrugs at Yuuri, Can’t be helped, love; my mouth is full.

“We met at the Grand Prix Final in 2015,” Yuuri says stiffly. Viktor will be sleeping on the couch for the next three nights. 

“AND?” Mila giggles.

“Viktor…didn’t recognize me…because I had my glasses on.” Yuuri looks down at the plate of jalapeno poppers and Viktor actually sees the prayer for instant death he sends up towards the heavens.


“He said…” Yuuri sighs, squeezed his eyes closed, and whispers, “Do you want a commemorative photo.”

They all burst into laughter. Yuuri sighs and wanders away with the jalapeno poppers. In a moment, Viktor will find him moping in the corner and wrestle the plate from him screaming sharing is caring! until Yuuri relinquishes either the plate or a smile.

“COMMEMORATIVE PHOTO, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?” Mila–or maybe it’s the vodka Mila drank–shrieks. Viktor is going to tell Yakov to make her do suicides for an hour on Monday.

anonymous asked:

Thank you for your additions to the Chloe post. I didn't know how to word my reservations about a redemption arc for her and then you did it.


i’m not saying it can’t be done, but i don’t think ml has the scope or the skill to handle it well — and it really feels like every show lately subverts/plays with their alpha bitch trope? (or at least the ones i’ve seen lately: gravity falls, dude that’s my ghost, spectacular spiderman, ouat, teen wolf, etcetcetc — even bonnie from kim possible and diamond tiara from mlp had their moments, iirc)

idk, at this point i’d really like to see the bitch character played straight, and chloe’s…

tbh chloe’s kind of flat. she does things because the writers want her to do things, and 99% of the time, the writers want someone to get akumatized. that kind of fits her into the narcissist model pretty cleanly — her reasons given don’t need to be any deeper than ‘she wanted to’ and ‘but other people didn’t do what she wanted.’

it’s not that she’s completely incapable of caring — she probably cares about ladybug, andre, sabrina, and adrien to some extent — it’s that their needs and emotions don’t blip on her radar. (they don’t need to, because she’s more of a plot device than a character, but in the context of the argument…)

she’s just a teenage girl, but even as a teenage girl, that’s a huge amount of innate empathy to lack.

teenage girls (all teenagers and young adults, really, in my experience) tend to get wrapped up in their own emotions and problems and do tend to place those emotions and problems as higher priority than anyone else’s, but even then most of them could look at their sobbing best friend and say ‘shit man you’re not feeling so good today, i’d better lay off.’

like. they might not know quite how to lay off, or how they react might not help, but generally seeing someone they care about display a strong emotion tends to garner a reaction of some sort.

chloe, as far as i’ve seen, doesn’t react. as far as i’ve seen, nobody’s ‘human’ to chloe except chloe.

‘well, she could’ve learned that behavior from her mother’ falls really flat to me because i know people who were trained like that — my grandmother and my sister’s bio mother especially were really frickin awful people — and it fucked them up but it didn’t kill their empathy.

now, my brother’s friend — an aspie in a similar situation — was pretty chloe-like.

—right up until he got out of his abusive home life and had the energy and peer pressure to be nice again.

but chloe isn’t being abused. at worst, she’s neglected. she could be looking for validation, but she goes to school (and has been for at least four years) and she’s surrounded by examples of how to get that validation without hurting people, and she seems to neither notice nor use any of them. 

and i’m pretty sure it’s because she doesn’t realize she needs to; nobody’s ‘human’ to chloe except chloe, and that’s… well, i’m pretty sure that’s the definition of narcissism.

(as a side-note: she doesn’t really seem to be looking for validation either — her reactions and self-respect seem to be static no matter how people react to her. she’s the subject of everything from frustration (marinette), tolerance to gentle censure and rejection (adrien), pure rejection (ladybug), coddling and affection (her father), adoration to hatred (kim/dark cupid), pure adoration (sabrina), pure censure (alya) — right down to actual killing intent (evillustrator) — and chloe remains just as sure of herself as she started out.)

TL;DR right now chloe’s a plot device with narcissistic patterns, and i don’t really see how a show like ml could pull off a decent redemption arc in the format that it uses. also i’ve had a void of unabashedly bitchy antagonist characters and would appreciate this one staying that way.

Ray/Lily (Raily) matching icons

  • Totally free, but a like wouldn’t hurt ;)
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“omg Stell why don’t you ever drink in public it’s just wine tryyyyy it”

Because I am the epitome of Drunk White Girl™ and I would befriend every single person and animal within radius and probably end up with 2 and a half boyfriends by the end of the night and the only thing stopping me from getting lured into a truck with the promise of a warm jacket and petting your dog is the group of drunk girls who I cried to describing my love for them are like “nooo omg Stell we’re going to get an antipasto plate”

That is why.