i had this in my drafts forever

like i have my problems with harry potter and jk rowling but it will never stop meaning something to me that rowling was a depressed 30-year single mother living on welfare when she thought of this story, that she was – in her own words– at rock bottom and she managed to put herself out there, to create this brilliant amazing series that has impacted so many people’s lives. there’s something to be said for hope.

A few things about Andrew Minyard,,

- he makes other people tie his shoelaces for him
- hes a blanket monster, doesn’t even leave Neil the sheet ok, poor kid has to sleep in sweatpants and a hoodie in the winter
- secretly does a lot of research about it and only buys the best quality food for the cats
- he’s the only person in his apartment building that ever buys girls scout cookies but he always buys enough to make it worth their time stopping by, he has like 20 boxes of thin mints stashed in the freezer at all times
- he uses an electric toothbrush but it’s like a cheap ninja turtles one from target
- cooks and cleans but DOES NOT do dishes, he will literally let them pile up to the ceiling and then when there’s none left that are clean, if no one else does them, he’ll just throw them all away and go buy new ones
- (eventually they discover paper plates and plastic silverware)
- hates horror movies (not because they’re scary, it’s because they’re predictable)
- Neil is the first person (besides Andrew) to realize Andrew needs reading glasses, and he makes him get some and Andrew carries them with him all the time but only uses them when he absolutely has to
- “I dont need glasses, i dont want to see your ugly face”
- “shut up and try them on or I’m selling the car and buying a minivan.”
- he only does autographs for his kid fans
- once he gets on his pro team people (kevin and nicky) keep pushing him to dress in more colors instead of just black all the time so he gets a bunch of neon armbands and wears a different set every day,, hot pink,, lime green,, fucking yellow, obscenely bright orange,,, other than that his wardrobe doesn’t change
- learned how to sew when he was younger because none of his clothes ever fit right and he always has to make adjustments
- has a savings account that he puts money into every chance he gets and whenever neil asks about it he pulls these random excuses out of his ass (“it’s for candy”, “I’m gonna hire someone to hide your body after I kill you”, “I almost have enough to buy out Exites so that I can shut it down permanently") but it’s actually for the foxes’ kids