i had nothing to do a few days ago and combined with destiel feels

anonymous asked:

ok, i know this is from a long time ago (so if you answered it already pls link me!) but can i ask why the finale added to your positivity/hope for destiel?? bc like... dean was supposed to die and they just hugged for like 5 seconds, which put me off a little on the romantic side of things. and he called cas a brother. do you think that the "follow your heart" storyline is going to continue? i was hoping so, otherwise it would be a flop

Hey Nonny! Thanks for this ask and sorry it’s been sitting in my ask box a while now. I have been musing on the best way to go about answering this because even I blow hot and cold with canon destiel from time to time. Though honestly, I think we are in a great place for it right now.

The season 11 finale was definitely meta’d to death back when it first aired and there were A LOT of mixed reviews about whether or not destiel had died a death with the car scene/ brother talk. However, after watching I remained positive.

I generally prefer to take the season as a whole once finished to assess the overall themes and lessons of the season. With regards to Destiel and Dean’s ‘follow your heart’ story line, comparing season 10 to season 11 is like comparing a warm beer on a rainy day in Britain to a Pina Colada on the beach in Miami. Basically season 11 is very good and satisfying for me, whereas season 10 was just a bit shit. At the end of season 10 I was very close to quitting the show. I had lost all faith in Destiel and was quite content to write stories about Cas ditching the Winchesters and the universe they broke and finding his way to another universe where he could shack up with some hot young toyboy in Miami and open up a gay nightclub…. They were dark times. (and yet my love for Miami will never falter…)

Then season 11 came along like a Knight in Shining Armour. I haven’t been this happy with a spn season since season 8. The thing is, they could have killed it. They could have abandoned all Destiel related stories after season 10 and they certainly could have got rid of Dean’s ‘follow your heart’ arc. The best thing to come out of season 10 was Dean’s confession. Which is where it all started after all. Instead, they persisted with it to a ridiculous level. I’m sitting there watching with my jaw touching the ground because I cannot actually believe that this show is going there. Why would they abandon the ‘follow your heart’ story now? When it has been given so much air time for Dean’s development? I don’t think they would because as you rightly say, it would be a flop. The audience has now been given something to look out for, and by audience I don’t just mean savvy eagle eyed tumblr viewers. I mean the general audience who usually wear air tight no homo goggles. (Personally I think there is just no going back after the Hunter Husbands Ep).

The season 11 finale in itself, as a standalone episode without all the prior build-up of an overly excellent season, is still a solid episode. Could it have resolved a few more plotholes? Yes. Definitely. The cast and crew actually all agreed that there was so much to cover that they felt frustrated with themselves for not being able to fit everything in. However THEY DID manage to get Dean and Cas alone together in that car scene, and bearing in mind there was plenty of alcohol in bunker already which the show creators made pretty damn sure to point out before Dean left with Cas, proves that the intentional subtext of the scene was that Dean was making an excuse. He wanted alone time with Cas. (This post here from @charlie-minion​ is a really brilliant 11x23 summary and talks about the subtext in the need for the beer run and how it was an excuse for Dean to get Cas alone. That is just one small part of a fantastic meta post though which in general is really positive about the season finale so I highly recommend you check it out!)

The last time I voiced my opinion on canon Destiel was here. 

This was a while ago and honestly my opinion hasn’t changed. All that stuff about the power of love still holds true. Okay so it wasn’t the power of love in the Destiel sense that saved the day but honestly? That happy ending with Amara and Chuck being reunited, that was a loving resolution and I think it is once again evidence that the show is growing and breaking away from some of the earlier themes that they have continued to recycle over and over again that frankly we are all growing pretty tired of. I want to hope that 11x17 Red Meat was in itself a comment on just how toxic and unhealthy the Winchester’s relationship has become and moving from that to the finale was huge development in itself. (I am always side eyeing that episode because Dabb worked on it with Beren’s together so it must have been important and I think that was what it was all about. Showing just how toxic the brothers relationship is to the point of making it obviously shocking to a general audience so even they will raise their eyebrows and say “oh dear those boys are very fucked up.” So that once that was established the journey to recovery from that and true character development can actually begin) Onwards and upwards I say. Though of course Season 12 is as yet a complete mystery. 

Season 11 was also a much more progressive season as a whole and the reaction it has received has been blinding. It has had more canon LGBT characters than all other spn seasons combined, which in itself is a huge deal and very positive for us Destiel shippers if we consider that maybe the show is trying to push its boundaries a bit more and encourage a general audience to look past their heteronormative lenses.

Anyway, going back to your actual ask about 11x23 and Destiel. I wrote what I thought about the ‘brother’ line in the car scene here and regarding the hugs there is an awesome post about it here from @frecklesandfeathers about just how epic it is that Cas initiated the hug and pulled Dean down to him which says a hell of a lot about how Cas was feeling at that point.

The other point I’ll make about that hug, is that it was terribly sad for both of them, because they were saying goodbye. What breaks me is Dean’s face when Cas hugs him. Dean’s face in that moment screams to me of regret.

(gif source here)

Plus look at the moment before the hug when he just looks at Cas like he is contemplating whether or not to say something else??

(gif source here)

Compare it to his hug with Sam and my god what a difference.

(I regrettably do not have a source for this because I found it on google image search and couldn’t find the source… it just linked me to the tumblr episode tag? If this is your gif please let me know.)

 With Sam he has accepted his fate and his parting. He is sad, but he is keeping his emotions in check. But with Cas? It is all sorrow and regret and it ate me up. They have NEVER been great at showing their feelings especially when other people are watching them and this was no exception, but that hug was glorious for all the right reasons.

So to sum up, I think we are on excellent ground for Destiel and I am going into season 12 feeling super positive about the whole thing. Remember that we still have the following to look forward to:

  • Cas realising Dean is still alive
  • Cas and Dean reunion
  • Dean introducing Cas to his mother
  • Dean and Cas and Mary looking for Sam
  • The continuation of Dean’s ‘follow your heart’ arch (because believe me, they wouldn’t have put that much leg work into it for nothing. Its going somewhere.)
  • The continuation of Castiel’s emotional journey into finding his true place in the world (which I talked about here).

These are all really exciting things. I know sometimes this show makes mistakes or we build things up to impossible levels and always end up let down by what we get, but sometimes the show comes through for us. Remember 11x19? And how from promo pics alone we all dreamed of the what ifs? They could be? Maybe? They share a last name? Dare we even dream it? People laughed. Mainstream media called them brothers… but WE WERE RIGHT. See this glorious post which sums up the difference between us meta writers and the mainstream heteronormative media. YOU ARE NOT READING INTO THINGS!! (I will never ever get over the Hunter Husbands. I will cry about it when I am 90 for the sheer joy that episode brought me.)

Sometimes we are wrong, but other times we are right. With Destiel I still think we are right. The show will come through for us. The future is bright my friend. The future is multi-coloured. ;-)

My View on Bob Singer’s Destiel Mention

Okay, so, I have been meaning to write this up ever since the Misha & Bob panel happened at JiB, but haven’t had the time yet. As I just got tagged in this post by pirrofarfalla, I kinda figured this is the moment to do just that. I wanted  just to expand a little bit about what I heard Bob Singer say and what context I think needs to be added to his Destiel comment. Because I have seen his comment about Destiel not having been talked about in the writers’ room around Tumblr, but I feel that without the rest of the panel comments next to it, it is incomplete and paints a much bleaker picture than the one I walked out of the room with. Because as a DeanCas shipper, I have never felt more positive about Singer’s showrunner view on Dean and Cas.

What I also want to add is that even having sat in the panel room as he spoke, there is a good chance that the smallish group of people that was also there, or those who have maybe seen vids of it (if you have a link to one, please let me know), will have walked away with a very different pov than I did. One that is just as legit. All I can say is that my view of Bob Singer changed drastically this weekend, but if yours didn’t or your interpretation of his words is different, I totally respect that. It happened multiple times that dustydreamsanddirtyscars purplesummer91 sayurishiro lack-of-preference  itstimetobattlemydemons and I walked out of the panel rooms talking about what had been said only to realise we each heard different things. Undoubtedly, this will have happened here, too. All I can say is that this is my personal takeaway.

So, over the course of the panel, Singer talked about 3 things I wanna focus on here in relation to his DeanCas/representation comments.

Firstly, he said that basically they write themselves into a corner with every season finale. They let the seasonal story finish and then start painting the new one with broad strokes. While he didn’t specify, I take this to be the broad seasonal themes. (He specifically mentioned they are talking light/dark and how to portray God for next season) First, this is just Singer and Carver; a few days later the writers get added and the season evolves from there. It seemed like quite the back-and-forth-and-exchanges process. (God what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall there.)

While you could argue this being proof of lack of vision, I actually feel very happy that this is the approach, because it means they truly, as Singer also said, let the story develop naturally. Which means that at the start of each season’s creation, nothing is either on or off the table. There’s no forced How I Met Your Mother endings they wanna stick to, just because that was the plan all along. They truly let the story as they see it develop naturally. Will that story (sometimes) be different than the one we envision, of course. But for me, it was very heartening to hear that there is such flexibility.

And that is the second point I wanna make. Yes, I understand the sadness about there not being a firm yes on DeanCas going canon, on the characters not having been discussed in such terms in the writers room, but truly it isn’t off the table either. And, again a personal opinion, I certainly do not feel like he is against it per se. He just hasn’t seen canon work in the story up to now, but I do feel like if he were to feel it would be where the story should go, he would not oppose it. And yes, there are so many comments to make about this and so much to say about that, legitemately so, but I choose to view it positively. Above all, I want a story I trust and believe in and this seems to me like the most honest way to create that, despite the mistakes that get made in the process. 

Thirdly, Singer also said that there is undoubtedly a lot of love between these men (Dean, Cas, and Sam). He did specify he meant that in a non-sexual way, but if there is any doubt about the way the showrunners view Cas in the Winchester dynamic, doubt no more. He is loved and he loves and that Singer confirmed whole-heartedly.

To make a long story short, I came out of JiB thinking I had done a 180 on how I feel about Bob Singer. Agree or disagree with the story he is telling and how he is telling it, that is your right. Neither he nor any of TPTB are perfect.  But his love for the characters, the story, the universe radiated off him and I for one feel very grateful he said yes just over 10 years ago to help this young guy Eric Kripke out with this little monster show and has continued to do that for 2 other showrunners since. Because combined with Jensen’s comment that, whenever Bob comes up to direct, it feels like dad’s coming home, I am certain we would not be flailing over a season 10 finale right now were he not involved in the show as.

The Art of Falling
jaredpadaleckiofficial submitted:

Your wish is my command ;)

The first time Dean let the odd art student paint his back for a school project, he’d ended up with a broken heart from rejection. Lisa had chosen his skin as a canvas and painted so beautifully it warmed something in him to see such vivid emotion sprawled across him like a story written on a page in a book. He’d been so sure that Lisa was the one, but she’d thought differently.

“Just friends.” was the last thing she’d said to him before transferring to a more prestigious art school.

Cas stood directly in front of him, flashing those big blue eyes he’d always been a sucker for as the vivid memories seared his mind with the intensity of the emotions. Cas was a good friend though, and it’s not like this is the first time he’d helped him with an art project. This one was probably less embarrassing than the time Cas instructed him to strip and pose a certain way so the light covered his junk or painted white stripes across his chest or whatever the hell else he’d requested at 2am.

Dean sighed. He wasn’t going to last long with Cas looking at him like that. “All right, fine. You can paint my back. Just don’t draw a dick or anything like that, ok?”

Cas gleamed at him, grabbing his hand and practically dragging Dean into his small apartment’s master bedroom. Dean felt strong hands push him down onto the mattress and was suddenly aware about the connotations of his current position. Before he could say anything, soft music filled the room, painting over his nerves with a soothing calmness. Cas had a penchant for noticing his anxieties and taking care at getting rid of them. He’d said he knows what it feels like to be on verge of a panic attack right before he showed him the cabinet with half full Xanax bottles.

Dean watched as Cas danced around the room, swaying his hips softly to the deep melody of a Johnny Cash song. It was mesmerizing, watching him move so methodically while setting up everything he needed to paint with. The knot in his chest constricted tighter, reminding him the terrible results of the last time something similar happened, but he knew there was nothing he could do. God help him, he’d already fallen.

The first touch of the paint to Dean’s back made him jump from the cold thickness of it, but eventually he relaxed, enjoying the easy way in which Cas moved the brush so delicately across his skin as if he were carefully constructing on of the beautiful portraits hanging in the kitchen and living room. Cas continued to stroke, mimicking the rise and fall of each new track that crackled through the old record player in the corner.

Dean felt the loss immediately when Cas left the room. Instead of enjoying the light tickle of the brush and the occasional finger smudge against his back, he felt the paint drying against his skin. It was an uncomfortable feeling, and he knew if he shifted even a little bit it would crack and Cas would be pissed. So he sat still, trying his hardest to focus on the song lyrics instead of listening to the shifting of drawers from the other room.

Cas returned in what felt like forever, and a rush of relief ran thick through his veins. The project was almost done. He could get up and wash all the paint from his back. He could move again.

The camera shutter went off like a harmony, coinciding with the music as if to create an entirely new sound. Dean felt a new wave of anxiety flush him. What if the picture didn’t turn out right? What if Cas had drawn a dick on his back?

Cas chuckled while helping Dean off the bed without staining the sheets all sorts of different colors. He scowled at him.

“What’s so funny, Cas?” Dean asked, fighting the urge to leave the room.

“Nothing,” Cas snorted, “it’s just you’re seriously still worried I painted a dick on your back and took pictures of it.”

“Ha, ha. Make fun of the guy who had to lay on his chest for two hours while you painted his back.” He mocked, crossing his arms over his chest and hoping to god his glare was working.

“I’m not making fun of you, Dean. I think it’s adorable." Cas responded, shaking his head as a smile smile stretched across his face.

Dean felt the heat rising in his neck and rubbed at it, trying to will away the butterflies in his stomach from the compliment. Cas brought the camera up to him as he took the needle off the record and turned it off.

"Would you like to see the pictures?”

He felt nauseous. All at once, he wanted to see those pictures. He wanted to satisfy his curiosity. He wanted to know what emotions had been chosen to be featured as a work of art cross his back. But he didn’t want what might come out from it. He was scared Cas would reject him like Lisa. He was scared Cas would accept him.

Dean nodded anyway and grabbed the camera from Cas’ outstretched hand. He felt the breath leave him as he slid through each photo, astounded at how colors could combine to make something so unique.

The last picture Cas had took was most beautiful. His back was painted with a beautiful garden scene that looked so realistic he was almost sure Cas had painted a portal to Wonderland on his back. The lighting of the room was what gave it it’s beauty, though. Cas had shifted one of the lamps, casting a very soft yellow light across the painting, giving the individual strokes on his back a natural highlight. It looked as if he’d painted on an actual canvas instead of someone’s back. It was quite astounding and amazing. The garden looked familiar though, almost like the one a few blocks from the school campus except with a more biblical Garden of Eden type vibe to it. The same garden where Dean had been walking along for his botany class and stumbled upon Cas swallowed in a tan trench coat and sketching a rose bush.

He’d painted the day they’d first met almost two months ago. It was all the proof he’d needed.

Cas didn’t meet his gaze when he handed the camera back. Dean wrapped a hand around his waist, pulling Cas in for a small kiss to the lips before Cas returned it. Dean pulled back slightly, humming happily as he felt Cas’ soft smile.

“What gave it away?” He asked, lightly stroking his paint job across Dean’s back.

“The garden. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the first time I’d gotten an ‘A’ on a botany quiz.”

Cas laughed, pulling Dean in for another kiss, which he happily returned. Dean has fallen, and fallen hard, but at least he knows Cas is there to help him up.