i had literally no idea what to make

when this blog began back in March of 2014, nothing was expected from it. ironically, this blog was the manifestation of a post (that post is here) from earlier that month and this blog was created to share some laughs among some bored friends

a couple of these friends reblogged some of the posts on the blog and the blog suddenly went viral, with a bunch of people asking “when are you going to make more?”

so what is this blog?

looking back -and i didnt necessarily plan this - the blog had three distinct stages

  1. relatable humor blog (problems 1-120)
  2. nuanced perspectives of life from straight white boys (121-350)
  3. humor/character driven, non-linear story development (351-1000)

i had no idea what the hell i was doing through the first two stages. sometime during the second stage, I asked myself, “hmm…this blog focuses on teenage masculinity…how do other people see teenage masculinity and how do I, literally, show that one can become better?” the answer to this is the product that you see today. i wanted to develop a humorized abstract of masculinity through the eyes of a straight white boy instead of continuing to callously satirize white boys. so the product you see today is a result of that. i wanted to keep this blog as ambiguous as i could and I wanted other people to form their own opinions of this blog so, as good artists do, i didn’t say anything. 

the ask above was the last ask that I saw in my inbox this afternoon and i have seen this ask probably over 500 times over the history of the blog. so to answer the question….the answer is both. the blog is supposed to be like this in order to invoke a sense of levity, but also to create a reality that is true for some straight white dudes, and in my opinion, it is what made the blog unique. 

why even do this?

I have been on tumblr since 2012. I have seen a lot of shit. from francieum, the club penguin blogs, badgoku14, and the sandsverse blogs - I wanted to bring something different to tumblr - i wanted to poke fun at straight white boys, but i wanted to be entirely realistic and spot on as well. There’s a reason why there isn’t a “Gay Black Girl Problems” and that’s because not many people can relate to what a gay, black girl goes through day in and day out. Straight White Boys are everywhere, and for that reason, many people can, at the least, relate to being in the presence of a straight white boy, and if i could do that with clever, realistic humor and didn’t demonize white dudes, i knew that the community would be better off for it. additionally, there are few, pure content creators on this site anymore. I know a lot of people use this site as an escape and look for humor to cheer them up, so I thought that I could give back and help people when this site helped me laugh when I was feeling down

who are you?

the wait will be over very very soon

oh yall for those of you who don’t know, unfollow me if you think people have to have a diagnosis to say they’re mentally ill. I’ve experienced the same exact fucking symptoms of schizophrenia and BPD since I was 14 … lmao but I wasn’t diagnosed because my family couldn’t afford to see a doctor as we had no health insurance. Surprise almost a decade later and I’m diagnosed with, you guessed it, BPD and schizophrenia. (:

If you think you’re something, you’re probably either entirely correct, or there is definitely something wrong and it should be checked out when you are able to financially and physically.

A neurotypical person wouldn’t make up having disorders, because it’s definitionally not neurotypical to “fabricate illnesses for attention” that’s literally … not neurotypical lmao. So even if they don’t have what they say they have theres still some form of mental illness there.

Furthermore, some people’s psychosis prevents them from seeing doctors because they’re fucking paranoid about it and have thought disorders regarding medical practices … which you guessed it (: is psychosis

And it’s laughable to me that some of you think everyone saying they have psychosis go out and secretly get like fucking street antipsychotics, lmao … going to their local drug dealer for latuda and abilify like hey i need to self treat my psychosis. Lmao thats fucking absurd, you’re fucking absurd.

1) diagnosis doesn’t magically make you mentally ill
2) you’re literally mentally ill before you’re diagnosed, thats literally how they diagnose you, it doesn’t suddenly make you the thing you’ve known you’ve had for years.
3) You know what not everyone can afford to see a doctor or a psychiatrist or anything to get proper treatment and diagnosis.
4) you’re literally reinforcing the idea that mentally ill people don’t know if they’re mentally ill, lmao which is so fucking bullshit on so many levels.
5) there are people with psychosis who are afraid to see doctors because of their psychosis which is psychosis
6) diagnosis of mental illness can inhibit people from working at their jobs, because some jobs don’t allow mentally ill people to work there even if they’re perfectly capable
7) diagnosis can inhibit other medical treatment because doctors can use your illness against you to delegitimize your pain/illness
8) psychiatrists and therapists rarely diagnose minors with psychotic disorders or personality disorders even if they absolutely have it because they legally can’t in some places.

Stop policing mentally ill people and treating us like children who don’t know how to take care of ourselves

AND YOU KNOW WHAT there are people WITH A DIAGNOSIS INVOLVING PSYCHOSIS who do go out and seek hard drugs to treat their mental illnesses, this isn’t exclusive to people without diagnosis, it’s a fucking mental illness thing that mentally ill people do. Getting a diagnosis doesn’t eliminate addiction.

You know how psychiatrists figure out how to diagnose people with psychosis related illnesses ? They fucking ask us, and if we say we have it … bam you get your diagnosis. And as specified before, not everyone can afford the luxury of getting a diagnosis. Fuck. Off.

So. That moment in His Last Vow that was reversed for the viewers. You know, that 5 second clip of Sherlock “coming out” of his mind palace while in hospital. The heart-rate monitors go backwards. There’s no reason to explain it other than they filmed Sherlock going into his mind palace, then reversed it for the actual episode MERE MOMENTS after making a big deal of the question “Forwards or Backwards”. But WHY would they DO that? Why make Sherlock LOOK like he’s waking up, but in reality manipulate the way the footage is shown, making the viewer believe the opposite of what’s actually happening? It’s not like what’s been happening after that moment is hard to believe or anything and they have to trick people into believing it’s real. Wait a second. Actually *everything* that’s happened since that moment is hard to believe. And it gets worse and worse each episode you go from there. TAB ends in the mind palace and HLV ends in the exact same style. TFP is the television equivalent of a mental breakdown. If there was only one week between episodes of this damn TV show, this kind of rug-pull set up wouldn’t be even slightly weird to consider. That backwards clip of Sherlock actually going into his mind palace in HLV instead of coming out of it is the only clue we have to solving why, literally-speaking, nothing makes sense in this damn show anymore. If the writers don’t follow through on their own idea, that’s on them. But their favorite kind of scenario has been beautifully set up. One of those “I told you, but you didn’t listen” scenarios. The backwards clip in episode 9 is their receipt. I fully expect them to say, “Look at what we did, we had it right there in front of you all for years and nobody cared” when this is all done. Anything less makes no sense. “We told you everything was backwards, we told you everything was mind palace, but nobody listened.” There is absolutely *no* other reason for filming a scene and editing it in backwards for the final version. Anything else is madness.

healingmagicandaspirin  asked:

I know you like Bakugou and all, but like...I wish he'd gotten off a little less easy for this, sorry. It's getting frustrating for me to watch him being coddled and all of his abusive actions being excused (a bad mental health day/week/month/whatever does NOT excuse the harm someone does to people) and him constantly getting off with a slap on the wrist or no punishment at all for bullying people. Kind of wish the school would just tell him they'll expel him if he doesn't get his act together.

Bakugou has been kidnapped, used as a hostage, all but molested (i mean, what else would you call what the Sludge villain did to him?) all at the age of 14, then he lost to someone he had a superiority complex over for nearly a decade and nearly (or did, depending on your point of view of how that scene went) had an emotional breakdown because of it, won the Sports Festival only because Todoroki couldn’t use his full power against him and Bakugou won in a way that was utterly unsatisfactory to him and felt like Todoroki couldn’t even bother to fight Bakugou at his fullest b/c Bakugou wasn’t worth it, went to Best Jeanist to train and instead basically wasted time and had his hair and clothes styled/changed for him, was forced to swallow his pride and work with Izuku to beat All Might which frustrated him to the point of tears (and he nearly gave up instead, which, for a boy who’s very model of what a hero is is based on Always Winning, this is a Big Thing), was kidnapped AGAIN by Shigaraki and was terrified out of his mind during it, was kidnapped IMMEDIATELY AFTARWARDS by AFO and had to be rescued by his classmates so he wouldn’t become a burden for All Might, and then blamed himself for All Might losing his powers and retiring, failed the Provisional Licence exam because of his bad behavior, breaks down again because all the guilt, the shame, the frustration to losing to Izuku, and confusion and struggle and everything, was finally too much for him to handle and he literally had no idea what to do until All Might showed up and explained everything.

from the very first chapter, Bakugou has been systematically punished by the narrative, over and over and over again. not specifically for his treatment of Izuku, but it’s not as if he’s been unpunished for his actions, either, and i’m sure that this is Horikoshi’s intent for having all of this happen to Bakugou in the first place.

Bakugou is going to apologize and make up for his actions towards Izuku, i know he will. but you can’t force him to do it because he’s not ready to as of right now. 

but he is going to make up for it somehow, because that is where the narrative is heading, and he’s already heading there as of the last chapter.

he’s giving Izuku advice. he’s framing it in an insulting way, but he’s giving Izuku advice on how to improve his fighting style. he never would have done that before all of this. 

the narrative is basically hitting Bakugou where it hurts constantly, over and over again, and forcing him to change and learn from his behavior, whether he wants to or not. 

i’m not excusing what he did to Izuku, because he did a lot of horrible things and he needs to make up for his actions. but in the span of just a few months, this kid has been through a lot and he has indeed been punished and put down by the narrative in many, many different ways that are specifically designed to hit him in the places it’ll hurt him the most

i’ve never excused his actions, but he’s just a kid, and kids can only take so much before they begin to break. god, he’s just a 15 year old child.

and again, it’s not as if he’s been unpunished by his behavior. he was absolutely punished for his bad attitude during the Provisional License exam by failing it, and he’s going to have to take extra classes in order to make up for it. if he were being coddled, he would’ve still passed regardless his bad attitude towards the victims. 

Horikoshi does him no favors.

he’s been punished enough by the narrative, and i do think that Aizawa gave them a fair punishment for their actions. their whole fight was framed as a schoolyard fight between two frustrated kids, after all.

it wasn’t really about the fight. it wasn’t about who beat who. the whole fight was there just so that these characters, these two children, could finally have an outlet for their emotions because they’ve never tried to talk to each other before, and this was the only way.

they’ve never tried to express their emotions to each other before. they’ve never tried to listen. this is something both of these characters needed.

being told that he’ll be expelled isn’t going to help his behavior. it’ll do the opposite, if anything. any more punishment than what they received would be overkill.

they acted like children, so they’re being treated like children. they’re doing chores and cleaning just like any kids who broke the rules would. 

Aizawa gives fair punishments. if he doesn’t think someone has potential, he expels them. 

and also, please note: neither Izuku or Bakugou were seriously injured from their fight. otherwise, Aizawa would’ve sent them to Recovery Girl. all they got were some scratches, cuts, and bruises. 

when Bakugou challenged Izuku and Todoroki, i wouldn’t be surprised if Aizawa was considering the idea of expulsion. however, Izuku and Bakugou were forced to be partners and, after a while, they were able to work together and pass the End of Term exam, so whatever might’ve happened otherwise was dropped.

but make no mistake, Bakugou’s behavior here was noted by Aizawa, and Bakugou was forced to move past this attitude and work with Izuku as punishment.

back to the events of the recent chapters, All Might even says that the events that happened between Bakugou and Izuku were just as much the adult’s fault as it was the kid’s. the children’s mental and emotional health is just as important as their strength and growth as heroes, and Bakugou seriously needed some help with that. 

and, not to mention, All Might let them fight it out. he eavesdropped long enough to know about Bakugou’s guilt, and let Bakugou and Izuku fight and express their emotions this way, because honestly, i don’t think they could’ve been able to talk it out in any other way. i’m not saying this is healthy behavior, because god knows it isn’t, but for these two it may have been the only way for them to clear the air. 

and it worked.

they’re both on their way to having a much, much less toxic relationship than what they had before. they might not be friends, but their relationship is much more positive compared to what it was before, because they finally let out all of those nasty emotions.

Bakugou and Izuku are much more calm, and are able to have a conversation now without it turning violent or angry. they got all of those complicated emotions out of their system and finally talked it out, if at least a little, and both are going to be better from it. 

hell, Bakugou even fully admitted that he threw the first punch. in no way is he blaming izuku for what happened. Bakugou is taking full responsibility for what he did. 

and again, Bakugou is giving Izuku advice. he’s helping Izuku in a very backwards, round about way, because it’s the only way he knows. but he’s still helping Izuku, something he absolutely would never have done before. 

Bakugou is growing. he’s learning. whether he wants to or not, he’s changing for the better, and he’s starting to realize that he is changing. that maybe he has to change. maybe he needs to.

he’s already showing a positive change after this fight. he’s taking responsibility for his actions, he’s not blaming Izuku, he’s giving Izuku advice, and he’s worrying about All Might’s secret getting out. punishing him for any more would be overkill, and it wouldn’t have anymore positive outcomes then what’s already been achieved.

he’s just a kid. he acted like a kid. he’s getting punished like any kid would be.

related metas:

anonymous asked:

Top 5 best height differences? (for the ships!!)

I LIVE FOR THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCES

1. Kagehina. I’m so weak for everything related to their height difference. Not to mention all the times that Kageyama effortlessly picks Hinata up by the shirt or that time when Hinata hid himself behind Kageyama and he actually moved a bit to cover him more and ???? honestly guys idk I just love them so much they make a mess out of me

Originally posted by itomorimachi

2. Iwaoi. THE WILDES CONCEPT IN HAIKYUU HISTORY WILL ALWAYS BE IWAIZUMI BEING SHORTER THAT OIKAWA #BLESSED literally that’s one of the best ideas Furudate ever had, kudos to him

Originally posted by iwaizyumi

3. Asanoya. They are the ultimate height difference couple and the definition of a smol tol (ง •̀_•́)ง and a tol smol (;;;*_*)

Originally posted by kikyoshirax

4. Kurotsuki. Kuroo’s true current concern is not “I can’t get rid of my bedhead hair” but “what if…Tsukki….never stops getting taller?” (he’s already 3 cm ahead and he’s 2 years younger than you Kuroo….RIP)

Originally posted by saltasaurus-kei

5. Kuroken and Yakulev (bless Nekoma). JUST LOOK AT THEM. If there’s something extremely comforting in how Kuroo is way way bigger than Kenma, the fact that Yaku could be that sassy and terrifying despite being so chibi is…just amazing. I live for the day we’re gonna see Lev picking him up (and getting killed right after) tbh

Originally posted by asahiis

Thank you for your message!

Ask me my top 5 things!

i honestly cant comprehend it when people say that they dont ship Jake and Amy when they are like such literal One True Pairing material like??

- slowburn, mutual pining 

- such a soft naturally developed relationship that went from partnerts at work to partners in life and their dating just made it so much richer

- the “i know youre dating another guy and i dont want to make this awkward but i just had to let you know that i really like you but dont worry i wont bother you about it”

- literal canon fake dating au

- when they start dating they try to hide it from thieir friends work family trope but they literally fail in a day

- the universe seems to tell us this is a bad idea but you know what fuck that noise i wanna be with you

- they literally accidentally kill a man by making out at their 1st official day of being a couple like?? get you an otp who can top that

- “theres no one elses opinion that matters more to me” “he makes me laugh”

- they were friends before they started dating!! and they remained silly competitive friends even after they became a couple!!

- no “now that were dating i suddenly realized you have flaws and i dont want this anymore” drama

- they literally asked for their work dads approval 

- like literally no unnecessary drama they fight a few times but none of it is ever superficial or due to bad communication?

- they literally flirt all the time and have their own silly puns and eyeroll eachother but never make the other feel uncomfortable??

- they support each other and are very attentive to the others interests? they try to become involved in things that the other likes just to make them happy??

- “i know that youre dating someone else but im here for you as a friend and i want to see you happy”

Okay, but imagine Ron not being the oblivious one for once

Harry Potter and the Gay Disaster

Starring Ron Weasley (AKA: The Boy Who Fucking Knew It)

“Ron, do you think Malfoy might be gay?”

“Oh, I dunno, Harry. What makes you think so? Is it the way he dresses like a model and spends at least an hour on his hair daily? How bout the fact that he’s had a crush on you since literally first year?”

“Huh. Yeah. I guess you’re right. I only asked because I heard him telling Pansy he liked blokes, but yeah, those things work too.” 

Pause.

Pause.

“Ron, do you think I might be gay?”

“Oh, I dunno, Harry. What gave you that idea? Is it the fact that you talk about Malfoy 24/7? How bout the way you follow his name on the Marauder's Map at ungodly hours of the night? Or the fact that you stalk him and wonder what he’s up to and even worry about him despite him being your supposed enemy?”

“Oh. Yeah. I suppose you’re right.”

“Of course I’m fucking right. It’s not like I’ve had to watch the two of you dance around each other for seven years or anything.”

“Right, well, I guess I’ll ask him out then.”

“You’d fucking better. I didn’t put up with your nonsense for this long to have you throw it away willy-nilly.”

“Right, um, thanks Ron.”

“You’re fucking welcome.”

Interesting

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

Originally posted by legolas-imagines

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

A/N: This is part 1 of a request made by @floofy-halfling. I don’t know if this is what you wanted so like just tell me if I’m on the right track :)

Italics: Elvish

Word Count: 1,806

Part 2 - Part 3

Master List

You swing your sword into the spider before it has a chance to attack Thorin. He looks up at you and nods in thanks and you nod back. 

You had joined their journey when they came to stop at Beorn’s place. You were there because he had found you almost ten years ago, badly injured from an encounter with an orc. Since then, you had been living with him and once you met the company, you left with them. Thorin didn’t want you at first since you were an elf, but Mithrandir had convinced him to let you join and here you were, saving his ass.

You pause as your hear footsteps running in the trees and turn towards the noise. Thorin has noticed it too. You see a blonde elf running through the trees and sliding down the web of the spider. He kills that one and slides under another one, killing it as well.

You watch as he moves to stand and you pull your bow, stepping in front of Thorin. You two come face to face, arrows pointed into each other’s faces. He narrows his eyes at you and you do the same.

Don’t think I won’t kill you elf,” he snarls and tightens the string. “I could say the same for you,” you say, mimicking his movements. You feel an arm on your elbow and you look at Thorin. He nods his head and you place the bow and arrows back to where they belong.

“Legolas!” you hear a female voice say and you wince a bit as you realize you had just pointed your arrow at the prince of Mirkwood. You listen to the conversation he has with the female and you look at Thorin.

“ Do you know him? You went frigid,” he asks. “He’s the prince,” you mutter back as the prince comes over to you both. “Search them,” he orders and you are all stripped of your weapons. The guards put shackles on you and you are lead to the palace.

While you and the rest of the company are lead to the cells, Thorin is lead to the the King. You sigh at as you are pushed into the cell. You laugh as you notice a guard stop Fili to take away one of his hidden daggers.

You sigh once again as the guards leave you alone. You sit by the door and look up. You notice the prince standing on the platform above you. You make eye contact with ice blue eyes and he comes to move in front of your cell.

Why are you with the dwarves?” he asks, coming to stand in front of your cell. “I did not think it was any of your business,” you reply not looking at him.

You are in my kingdom,” he retorts.

Really? I thought it was your father’s kingdom?” you ask sarcastically.

So you know who I am?” he asks.

Blonde hair, blue eyes. You must be a Sindarin elf and last I remember, the only sindarin elves to live in Mirkwood were the King and his son. Given the fact that you were out on guard duty, you are the prince,” you explain trying to sound smart.

He looks so surprised that you knew so much about him.

Plus, I heard the female call you Legolas,” you say, shrugging and that causes him to smile. You smile back. “Where are you from?” he asks, taking a seat on the steps next to your door. “The Valley of Imladris,” you tell him.

You weren’t lying. You were just not telling the whole truth. You were from Imladris, but you’ve been gone for ten years. You had an argument with your father, Lord Elrond, and you had not returned since then. You did not know if he was looking for you and you did not care. You loved your life with Beorn and you had not regretted your decision to leave.

“Why travel with the dwarves? What will you get in return?” he asks and you decide to answer him this time. “You know? I have no idea. It’s just something that I wanted to do. A rash decision, yes, but a good one all the same,” you reply, looking at the wall in front of you. “How long have you been traveling with them for you to gain such an attachment?” he asks.

Literally a day or so. I couldn’t really tell how much time has passed in the forest,” you shrug. For some unknown reason, that makes him laugh. “I’ve never heard an elf laugh or smile so much,” you tell him truthfully.

I laugh because you are funny. You join a bunch of dwarves and you will die for them even though you’ve only known them for a day,” he says.

And a half,” you retort, making him smile.

The two of you continue talking until another guard shows up, dragging Thorin with him.

The king wants to see the elf,” the guard states as Legolas stands. He nods and you switch places with Thorin. Legolas and the other elf leads you to the throne room after chaining you again. Once you get there, the elvenking’s eyes widen in surprise.

Remove the chain,” he orders and the other guard does as he’s told. Legolas stares at his father, confused. “Lady y/n. Your father has been searching for you for ten years and he thought you to be dead,” Thranduil states, making his way down from the throne and Legolas’ head snaps towards you.

You’re Lord Elrond’s daughter?” he asks. “Surprise?” you ask back. He sighs. “Ada. If I knew she was Lord Elrond’s daughter, I would not have put her in the cells,” Legolas says, watching as his father circles you.

Where have you been, milady? There had been many an elf searching for you,” Thranduil asks, ignoring his son.

He was curious. Lord Elrond had been in panic for the first three years of you going missing. He had even left Imladris to search for you, but had been unsuccessful. When the fourth year hit, he did not search, but started mourning. As a close friend of Elrond’s, it hurt to see him in such distress. He had been in that same state when he lost his wife and now his friend had to go through it yet again. The pain must’ve been unimaginable.

I’ve been staying with the shapeshifter, your majesty,” you say, looking dead ahead. You did not like making eye contact when you were being interrogated. Granted, it did not happen often.

And why have you been staying with the shapeshifter instead of returning home? Your father thinks you are dead,” he says, stopping in front of you.

That is new information. You did not intend for that to happen. You knew you should’ve sent a letter, but you could not in your state. Not after he said that he wished you were not his daughter.

“I felt like I was no longer welcomed, milord,” you reply. He narrows his eyes at you.

“Legolas. You will escort the princess back to Imladris back where she belongs-,”

What? Milord! I do not want to leave. I promised Oakenshield that I’d help him. I cannot-“ you start, panicked.

Have you heard of the story of the king under the mountain? Of the sickness that lies under that mountain?” Thranduil interrupts and you nod your head.

Then you know that Thorin Oakenshield will fall under the same sickness just like his grandfather,” Thranduil says.

I do not believe that, milord,” you say. “Whatever you believe is wrong. Legolas, take her back to Imladris,” he says, making his way back to the throne. “No,” Legolas says and you turn to him in shock.

Did he really just disobey his father? His king?

Thranduil turns to his son slowly, frown gracing his face.

What did you just say?” Thranduil asks.

I said ‘no’ father. It is obvious that she does not return to Imladris. She has been happy and safe with the skinchanger. Are we going to take that away from her?” Legolas asks.

Guards. Return her to her cell. My son and I have to discuss a few things,” Thranduil says, glare not wavering from his son. You notice Legolas has the same glare on his face and you can’t help but think that they look even more like father and son.

The guards take you back to your shared cell with Thorin. “What did he want?” Thorin asks as you sit at the door. “He was just curious as to why the daughter of Lord Elrond had been missing for ten years and was found traveling with a group of dwarves,” you reply nonchalantly, still thinking about Legolas and his decision to go against his father’s wishes.

“You’re that y/n?” he asks, surprised seeping through his voice.

Lord Elrond and Gandalf had spoken of you multiple times during their stay at Imladris. It was always with sadness. Fili had asked one of the elves what had happened to you and they had said that you had gotten into an argument with your father and left, never to be seen again. They had thought you to be dead and Imladris had not been the same since.

“Ah. So you’ve heard of me,” you say as you close your eyes. “We had stopped in Rivendell a few months ago and your father and Gandalf had mentioned you multiple times. Everyone believed you to be dead,” he says.

“So I’ve heard. Thranduil had ordered Legolas to take me back to Imladris, but he had refused,” you explain.

“Did he really deny his father and king?” Thorin asks, scoffing. “It seems that the children of rulers are rule breakers. Perhaps when you eventually have children, they will break many rules when they’re under the mountain,” you suggest and that causes Thorin to chuckle.

“I don’t see why not. Fili and Kili already do that,” he states loudly.

“We heard that, Uncle and we do not break rules. We just skirt around them,” Fili defends from his spot in his cell.

“It’s the same thing,” Thorin argues back and you smile. You liked the fact that he could still joke a bit in this situation.

“I reckon the sun is on the rise,” Bofur’s voice sounds throughout the cells. “We’re never gonna reach the mountain, are we?” you hear the youngest ask and your heart clenches a bit.

These dwarves have been through so much, they cannot just be stopped right here.

“Not stuck in here you’re not,” you hear another voice say and it’s the hobbit and he’s holding keys. He lets the both of you out first and suddenly, your hope returns along with the fear that you may never see the blonde prince again.

we know the game

on Ao3

nothing like some good old fashioned nonsense

this is basically crack. right well, i should stop writing after 11pm

enjoy~


Marinette has a few rules when it comes to her partner.

  1. Don’t let him take patrols on his own. He’ll fall asleep on a random rooftop somewhere because he likes to stay out until the break of dawn, watching over the city as it sleeps.
  2. If he calls after midnight, always answer.
  3. Don’t trust him with gifts. He always goes unnecessarily over the top and spends far too much money for her (or anyone else) to be comfortable with it.
  4. Don’t put him in charge of food. For the same reason as the gifts, but also because he’ll eat half the food before she shows up.
  5. Don’t smile at him too much in class. Alya is getting suspicious.

But it turns out that Marinette has to add a new rule to the list:

  • Don’t let Alya and Nino plan anything for the four of them.

—«·»—

“Are you sure you can’t come?” Marinette asks, pacing back and forth as Tikki watches her burn circles in the floor from the desk..

I really can’t,” Alya apologizes over the phone. “We can’t find a sitter this last minute and there’s no way my mom is letting Ella and Etta stay home alone.

“Could you bring them?” Marinette tries. “Because I can just bring more food and—”

Marinette,” Alya interrupts gently. “With this last week of akumas, I don’t think my mom wants even us going to school. A park without adult supervision? No way.

Marinette chews on her bottom lip and resists the urge to ask ‘what about superhero supervision?’ Instead, she asks, “Are you sure?”

Positive.” Alya sighs. “I’m sorry, I really wish I could come. But you’ll be with Nino and Adrien, you’ll still have a fun time without me there.”

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For some reason I am really attached to the idea of Adrien making bad first impressions on people because of the association with Chloe? And then blowing them out of the water just by being his cinnamon roll self. So this idea jumped out at me as inspired by the scene in Origins where Adrien literally flings himself off his climbing wall like an idiot who has definitely done that before and will do it again.

Like imagine early on, maybe the second day of school before everyone has figured out what a sweetheart he is, they have gym class, and no one knew they had to explain to Adrien about wearing gym clothes so he’s wearing jeans and impractical footwear. And of course, he appologizes profusely to the teacher, saying he didn’t know there was gym today and didn’t bring anything to change into, completely unaware that Chloe uses this excuse all the time. So the class is collectively rolling their eyes, and the gym teacher is aggravated, because the last thing he needs is another rich brat thinking the rules don’t apply to them, so he decides to make an example.

He says today’s lesson is very important and so he’ll have to make due barefoot, and that he can even come up first and help show the rest of the class what they’re doing today. And Nino and Marinette, plus some of the more kindhearted students are all wincing on his behalf, while everyone else feels pretty vindictive about getting to watch Chloe’s friend embarrass himself.

Of course Adrien is an oblivious sweetheart and is just completely thrilled that not only does he not have to sit out his first ever gym class for being unprepared, he gets to go first! And so of course he beams and agrees enthusiastically, to which most people present become suspicious over what he has planned, while Nino and Marinette bemoan that their new friend is too good for this world.

As luck, and Narrative convenience, would have it, the first activity for that day is the Climbing Wall. (Their school is fucking fancy they would definitely have one) Everyone fears and loathes the Climbing Wall, because it’s difficult and terrifying, and there are no harnesses, just thick mats to break your fall. No one’s ever actually been injured on it, but there are plenty enough urban legends going around the school to convince the general student body that it’s a deathtrap.

There are collective looks of sympathy, because not even one of Chloe’s lackeys deserves the Climbing Wall (so dreaded that its name is always capitalized) on their first day in gym.

Adrien is understandably completely thrilled because he has one just like it at home and he is gonna rock this. Pun definitely intended.

The gym teacher explains the rules (start behind the red line, run when the whistle blows, go as fast as you can, timer stops after you’ve hit the roof and made it back down to the ground) Adrien is practically vibrating with excitement, Marinette thinks she’s about to die of second hand embarrassment, Nino is biting his nails, Chloe is trying to hide a smirk and no one knows why (she’s been to Adrien’s house, after all), and everyone else is sitting back, ready to watch Adrien fall all over himself.

The gym teacher blows his whistle and Adrien is off like a fucking shot, sprinting to the wall and then making his way up it just as quickly. His class is half certain that he is somehow part monkey, and Marinette and Nino have just enough time to share a relieved look before he taps the ceiling and then launches himself into open air.

Several people shriek in horror, but Adrien rolls expertly when he hits the mats, and comes up grinning, only a little out of breath, and asks what his time was.

There is a moment of silence before the gym teacher let’s out a terrified and furious screech of “AGRESTE!”

Adrien turns red with shame and guilt, and because he is a cinnamon roll to his core, completely misinterprets what he did wrong.

“Sorry! Is that not allowed? I should have thought- sorry.” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly “I can go back up and climb down again properly, if you want sorry.”

At this point he is under the inspection of the baffled stares of everyone in the room and the gym teacher is put in the position to explain that no, the problem wasn’t that that was cheating, it’s that you flung yourself into the air with no regard for life and limb and gave everyone a collective heart attack, and you are never going up on that thing again for all our sakes.

Which prompts Adrien to be like “Oh! But there were mats, I thought that’s what they were there for, plus they’re a much better target than my couch back home and I’ve only missed that twice.”

“You’ve done this before? With a couch? WHY?”

“Because the floor was lava. Uh, Sir.”

And that is how the entire class found out that Adrien Agreste is a precious sunbeam with no regard for his own safety who must be protected at all costs.

What’s your fave bland recipe?

So here’s the thing, I’m a two time cancer survivor and have had a lot of abdominal radiation. This unfortunately causes life long side effects that impact my digestive system. Meaning I get these attacks that can last from anywhere between a few hours and a few weeks where I literally cannot eat most things. It also comes with fun nausea that makes even the idea of cooking most things completely abhorrent. I’ve been having a lot of these attacks in the past six months. (Yes I am following up with medical professionals but that takes time.) This means I’ve been spending a lot of time living on cheap ramen, toast, bagels, and sometimes chips because bland and salty are what my messed up system can handle. 

Obviously when you’re not getting things like protein and vitamins your energy level drops and regular life things are hard to do. Like laundry, and leaving the house. So I’m trying to find some not gross, bland things I can eat that meet the following criteria:

1. Are quick and easy to make.

2. Does not contain fresh fruit or veggies. (I love’em but my tummy says no)

3. Has protein but does not require cooking, seeing, smelling, or thinking about raw meat. Eggs are hit or miss but not entirely off the table.

4. Doesn’t taste like salt and blah.

5. Does not require rare/difficult to find/expensive ingredients. 

6. Has flavor but is not spicy. 

7. Does not include both dairy (like sour cream) and mayo.

8. Small amounts of cheese and butter are okay, but lots of dairy isn’t. 

9. Does not have sea food.

10. Does not require tomatoes/tomato based sauce, or anything else acidic like citrus.

11. Does not have cauliflower, mustard, onions, beets, lots of sugar, or anything pickled.

So if you have any recipes that you think could work please let me know. I’m so damn sick of ramen…

Playing with Fire - 01

Summary: After breaking up with you, you decide the only way to get back at your -now ex-boyfriend and avoid public humilliation is by making a deal with resident bad boy Min Yoongi: you’ll give him money as long as he pretends to be your new boy. 

Genre: Romance. 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Rating: Mature (just some cursing for now but will def add in some good ol smut and fluff and probs a lil of angst? as the story progresses)

Length: 2.2k

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -  Part 7 -  Part 8 [Finale]

A/N: listen. i have no idea where im going with this. im already thinking the second part and even THIRD part of Lifted but I feel like im posting too much jungkook (yes there is such a thing as posting too much jungkook) and i want to give the other members a chance and i’ve had this idea with yoongi for a while and its been destrOYing me. i dont even know if posting this already is a good idea because this literally the only thing i’ve written so far and im a master at procastinating and not finishing series (don’t worry wont make these too long) so anyways. still feel like this is going to be a mistake. go listen to some agust d bc this is 100% based on him.

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10

BONUS:

ALRIGHT, this is a new series I’ll be doing with lots of OP characters, it’s basically something like random parts of their daily routines and stuff, sorry for the shitty quality (If you guys like it I’ll make more AND with better quality, I promise ;^) )

Hope you like it! 

Reggie x Reader: We Could Happen (One Shot)

(A/N: SHOUTOUT TO @trashyemonerd​ for this request and I am so sorry it took so long I have finished this story days ago but COMPLETELY FUCKING FORGOT I AM A TRASH but I hope you enjoy it)

Plot:The one where all Reggie needed was a chance you were afraid to give.

Originally posted by riverdalebish

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Gryffindor and Slytherin:
  • Gryffindor: *puts sauce all over fries*
  • Slytherin: *glares* I can't believe you'd ever do that
  • Gryffindor: What?
  • Slytherin: Put your sauce all over your fries like that, it's so wrong
  • Gryffindor: But that's the way I do it, so is it truly wrong?
  • Slytherin: Yes, because it's not economical! That fry is gonna have so much more sauce than that one and you're gonna have to ruin your fries all over again because you'll just end up needing more sauce. See, look at Hufflepuff over there, she's got the right idea
  • Gryffindor: That literally makes so sense
  • Slytherin: You know what doesn't make sense? You putting sauce all over-
  • Hufflepuff: Can you guys shut up? You're getting on my nerves and I'm trying to eat
Locked In

Originally posted by smart-arse-under-the-mountain

Originally posted by middle-earth-journeys

Originally posted by thorinoakenshieldconfessions

Summary: Fili and Kili, your best friends, try to get you and Dwalin together.

Pairings: Dwalin x Reader

Word Count: 1817

Requested by: @sdavid09 so like I changed it a bit from the original request ;)

A/n: when you start writing and just don’t know when to stop lmfao. ITs soooo long. Enjoy

Master List


You smile as you watch the bustling dwarves below. You were so happy that Erebor was finally restored to its former glory. It had taken three years, but it happened and you were just ecstatic. You lean on the railing, smiling as you watch Thorin interact with some of the people.

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anonymous asked:

Emma, do you know if it is true that at least two of the girls involved in the altercation at the airport are Larries? People are now saying/blaming Larries. But, I have been trying to look into it, and I can't seen anything to support it. As usual, Larries get blamed for everything.

I’ve seen nothing to support those claims. People are also making fake accounts for at least one of the girls since they found her Facebook, which means that people will try to make up a lot of shit. Honestly, I haven’t even seen anything to support the idea that they were fans period, despite what The Sun said. The girl who is pressing charges literally referred to Louis as “the guy” when she was talking to the pap about what Louis had supposedly done. After seeing her talk about it and seeing their behavior, I find it significantly more likely that they saw the paps focused on Louis and Eleanor and decided to get take pictures or video of Eleanor because they assumed she was a celeb.

And like I said earlier, it doesn’t matter what type of fan they were or if they were fans at all. That behavior is equally unacceptable whether it comes from a Larrie, anti, or a random person who has never heard of One Direction. People can try to say that it’s the fault of Larries without anything backing it up, but every Larrie I know has spent literally all day denouncing what they did. The only people responsible for those girls’ shitty behavior is the girls themselves.