i had a not so fun day but this cheered me up

when this blog began back in March of 2014, nothing was expected from it. ironically, this blog was the manifestation of a post (that post is here) from earlier that month and this blog was created to share some laughs among some bored friends

a couple of these friends reblogged some of the posts on the blog and the blog suddenly went viral, with a bunch of people asking “when are you going to make more?”

so what is this blog?

looking back -and i didnt necessarily plan this - the blog had three distinct stages

  1. relatable humor blog (problems 1-120)
  2. nuanced perspectives of life from straight white boys (121-350)
  3. humor/character driven, non-linear story development (351-1000)

i had no idea what the hell i was doing through the first two stages. sometime during the second stage, I asked myself, “hmm…this blog focuses on teenage masculinity…how do other people see teenage masculinity and how do I, literally, show that one can become better?” the answer to this is the product that you see today. i wanted to develop a humorized abstract of masculinity through the eyes of a straight white boy instead of continuing to callously satirize white boys. so the product you see today is a result of that. i wanted to keep this blog as ambiguous as i could and I wanted other people to form their own opinions of this blog so, as good artists do, i didn’t say anything. 

the ask above was the last ask that I saw in my inbox this afternoon and i have seen this ask probably over 500 times over the history of the blog. so to answer the question….the answer is both. the blog is supposed to be like this in order to invoke a sense of levity, but also to create a reality that is true for some straight white dudes, and in my opinion, it is what made the blog unique. 

why even do this?

I have been on tumblr since 2012. I have seen a lot of shit. from francieum, the club penguin blogs, badgoku14, and the sandsverse blogs - I wanted to bring something different to tumblr - i wanted to poke fun at straight white boys, but i wanted to be entirely realistic and spot on as well. There’s a reason why there isn’t a “Gay Black Girl Problems” and that’s because not many people can relate to what a gay, black girl goes through day in and day out. Straight White Boys are everywhere, and for that reason, many people can, at the least, relate to being in the presence of a straight white boy, and if i could do that with clever, realistic humor and didn’t demonize white dudes, i knew that the community would be better off for it. additionally, there are few, pure content creators on this site anymore. I know a lot of people use this site as an escape and look for humor to cheer them up, so I thought that I could give back and help people when this site helped me laugh when I was feeling down

who are you?

the wait will be over very very soon

Make fun of my kid? I'll get you back somehow.

So I am not sure if this belongs in @prorevenge, sense it wasn’t planned on my part. It kind of just fell in my lap. Feels more than petty, so here I am.

For a bit of background: My next door neighbor is/was a college student. She lives with our actual neighbor, her boyfriend. Typical crazy college kid. Weekend parties, drinking on her patio all hours of the night, and weird hours. You know the drill. I figured she was trying to experience college life, so why not? You do you lady!

Anyways one summer night last year she was sitting out on her back patio with her girlfriends doing their drunk thing. I am out wrapping up on some stuff with my toddler daughter. She at the time had a medical thing going on that caused her to walk a little weird. Nothing life altering and something that would heal with time. She did have a weeble waddle to her, especially when running. Sometimes she would fall right over. She was out running around with the dog and the ladies next door were waving and telling her how cute she was. All good.

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My Mum and I get invited to lunch or dinner once a week by a good friend of ours. Mostly on weekend, he lets me decide if I want to eat Italian, Asian or something else, and then we go there.

My absolute favorite is a little Italian restaurant in our town. Not only because the food there is so tasty it should be illegal, but also because there is that one elderly waiter – Italian himself- who always makes my day.

The first time we went to that restaurant, we were not served by that guy, though, but by a younger, unlikeable young waiter. He didn’t greet us, brought the wrong drinks and didn’t once smile or anything.

The whole time, I felt quite uncomfortable around him, but I got a glimpse of that elderly waiter in the background, watching with a frown. He caught my interest because he looked just as uncomfortable by the younger’s display as I did.

And then, the young one made one last misstep – he turned towards my Mum and said, “What does the boy want to eat?”

There was a long pause where we all exchanged confused gazes, before I said, slowly but clearly, “I’m a girl, sir.”

(I wasn’t angry, mind you. It happens quite a lot to me – I close to never wear tight clothes, my hair is cut short and I never wear makeup. I see where it’s coming from, really.)

But what came then made me grit my teeth, because instead of being baffled or even embarrassed, the guy looked at me and said, “You’re kidding me, right?”

Before I could say anything – or calm my mum, because she gasped loudly in outrage – the elder waiter swooped in, bristling as he basically tore into the younger one. I couldn’t understand what he said, because he talked Italian the whole time, but my Mum later said that he had been outraged that “A beautiful young Signorina” just as me had been insulted like that.

All in all, it didn’t take very long until the young waiter vanished back in the kitchen and the elder waiter turned towards me, basically bowed to me and apologized over and over again. “I’m so sorry, Signorina, that you had to hear that! Please accept my sincere apology…!”

“No, please,” I managed, not knowing if I should be embarrassed or amused by the sight of him being so dramatic. “This happens a lot to me, please, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Ah, Signorina, such a gentle soul you are!”

At that point, I laughed out loud because he beamed at me with such a delight, it was just funny how passionate he was about all that.

Since then, the dear waiter always insisted on being the one who catered to us whenever we come to this restaurant. I didn’t complain at all, and also my mum and our friend were quite amused by that. The elderly man would take my jacket off, pull my chair back for me and give me a kiss on the hand once we left again, insisting that I had to be treated like “the gentle and nice Singorina” I am.

Honestly, such behavior is strange to me, since I didn’t really grow up with gentlemen, but I let him have his fun, since he always pouted when I wouldn’t let him tend to me. It was his way of showing me his respect, and if that was what he wanted, I would let him.

Today, we went there for lunch, but I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I was still deep in thought about school and that dumb group project, and the only reason I did leave the house at all was because my Mum basically pleaded me to do so.

So I was kind of staring into the air instead of making conversation, and didn’t even realize that I had taken off my jacket alone before the waiter could help me.

Once my mum left to go to the toilet and our friend went back to his car because he had forgotten his wallet there, I was startled by the waiter appearing next to me, putting down a little plate with chocolates on the table next to me.

I blinked, frowning. “Excuse me, but we didn’t order that.”

“Ah, but Signorina,” he winked at me, smiled crookedly. “That’s a little present on the house.”

I managed a little smile, thanking him.

He hummed, refilling my glass and explaining. “I missed your smile today, Signorina.”

“I’m sorry. I’m a bit… lost in thought, I guess.”

“We can’t have that, no, no.”

I shot him a glance, guessing that he was already planning something again, but he just took my order with a wide smile and disappeared in the kitchen again.

Let’s just say that he exceeded himself that day.

The pizza I ordered was not round as usual – somehow, he had managed to convince the chef to make it heart-shaped this time. In between bits of conversation, he would appear at our table, refill the little plate with chocolates again and again, shooting me a grin every time. And when I followed my Mum out of the restaurant, he waited already at the door, surprising me with a bowl full of chocolate mousse – “on the house”, he explained with a wink.

Etiquette or whatever be damned – I straight out hugged him then and there. And based on his delighted laughter and him cheering “There is your smile, Signorina!” I don’t think he really minded.

Honestly, bless this angel of a person, please. Bless him and all his descendants.

She Never Stopped Smiling

by reddit user Pippinacious

Fly was an odd kid, even by odd kid standards. I met her in sixth grade, when our alphabetically ordered last names landed us in adjacent seats, and she turned to look at me with a cheerful, gap toothed smile.

“Hi!” She said.

“Hi.” I replied quietly.

I was shy and intimidated by my first day in middle school, but she wasn’t the least bit nervous.

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settle down | (m)

• pairing: min yoongi x reader, roommate! yoongi
• genre/warnings: smut, angst, fluff, slow buuurrrn, enemies to lovers
• words: 14,930
→summary: An unfortunate event finds you living with the man you practically despise over the summer. However, maybe through a series of fortunate events, you find yourself falling for him…
• note. this is a remastered version of the originally story I wrote called ‘and july’ (found here) that I wrote for suho back when I started this blog, albeit slightly (very?) different.

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Be My Boyfriend

[ao3]

“Dean, be my boyfriend!” Castiel hissed.

Dean’s attention was pulled away from Charlie (who snorted into her drink) when Castiel grabbed his arm.

“Uh,” Dean said, feeling like he was missing out on some vital information. Castiel’s wide eyes were a little too bright and his cheeks were flushed with pink, indicating that he was probably a little bit drunk, though that still didn’t help clear up the situation.

“Come here!” Castiel dragged Dean by the arm across the crowded room until they stood in front of a short brunette who Dean thought was named Meg. Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and squeezed him to his side.

“I told you!” he told Meg triumphantly. “I have a boyfriend!”

Meg looked Dean up and down incredulously. “You’re dating Dean Winchester?”

Starting to catch on, Dean put a possessive arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Yeah, he is. Got a problem with that?”

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Joker Imagine - You Lose Your Virginity

WARNING: SMUT!!!! This is not for kids (But are any of my imagines tho?)

Originally posted by fuckyeahumbrellaboy

Originally posted by relationshipaims

Your P.O.V.

Being Joker’s girlfriend wasn’t easy, but I loved it. I loved spending time with him, stand by his side and feel special. He made me feel like I was one in a billion. Even tho he could be scary and really crazy, I loved him. Most people feared Joker for his behaviour which was good, but I knew him better. We’ve been together for just a few weeks, but it was enough. He was crazy and I was crazy, a perfect mixture for Gotham city. A crazy couple that likes to play with Batsy. We had a lot of fun, but then came the more personal part.

I was still a virgin.

The fact had made me nervous and to be honest I was scared. Joker wasn’t a gentle man, he was more dominating. I knew he had a rough grip so I was stressed about when the time would come. I was mentally ready, but I was just scared as heck. My old friends had told me that they were in pain, that it stung and some of them even bled. Knowing Joker he wouldn’t be any gentler than an ordinary guy, perhaps he was worse.

 Damn he didn’t even know. I had always came up with an excuse like ‘I’m on my periods’ ‘the wounds I got from the heist hurt’ or ‘I’m tired, sorry’ when he tried to take kissing a step further. Now he probably suspected something, which was ok. I knew I should tell him.

It was Valentine’s day, 10 p.m. and he would come home anytime soon. I had been up all day as he was on a heist with Frost. I had stayed on purpose, trying to prepare myself. Joker was surprised when I a blood thirsty little monster didn’t come with him to kill a few people who didn’t pay him back. While he was gone from the luxurious penthouse, I was thinking. I knew that I’d give him my virginity tonight. So I had taken a warm bath, I read loads of blogs where people talked about losing it. It was the same pain and blood kind of shit. But then I saw more positive posts. Some said that foreplay and lube could make it better. Also not everyone would bleed. So I felt a little better.

I sighed and grabbed my laptop. Then I sat down on our bed, on the dark purple sheets and I sat comfortably. Then I opened a tab and decided to do something I didn’t do that often, but I felt like I had to. If Joker would catch me, I’d be so embarrassed. I watched some more mature videos, yes porn. To be honest it was kinda hot and impressive how these people did all that. Maybe one day J could take me like that? Damn it was a thrilling thought. I got so lost in my thoughts by watching the video that I forgot to follow the time. The volume was quite high and a girl was moaning really heavily. I bet her moans were echoing through the house. I just watched keenly, slowly getting wet.

Then I heard footsteps coming closer loudly. My eyes widened and my breath hitched in my throat. Before I could sit up, Joker walked in with a gun in his hand. There was an angry look on his face. My heart jumped to my throat and I froze on the bed. ‘’Oh’’ He muttered and lowered the gun. Instead of being angry, he smirked. ‘’Is my kitten horny?’’ He purred at me. He still had his silver jacket on. He probably thought that something was happening here so he just hurried to me. A blush spread on my face and I shut the tab and then put the computer away. Way to go.

‘’We need to talk’’ I cleared my throat and looked away from my boyfriend. It was really embarrassing to be caught watching porn. ‘’Hmm I’d love to talk’’ Joker told me deeply and crawled in bed next to me. I noticed that I got tense. He grabbed my jaw and made me look at him. His usually ice blue eyes were dark and his pupils were bigger than normal. ‘’I should..um..there’s..can you..no do you want to..ugh..’’ I wanted to tell him about my virginity, but I was so nervous that I didn’t make sense. I stopped stuttering when he put his fingers on my lips. ‘’Do you want me to fuck you?’’ He asked me shamelessly. My eyes widened a bit and I felt like I was a heat lamp by now. Why was this so bad?

‘’Kinda.. yes’’ I whispered and watched how his smirk turned into a grin. ‘’But there’s something..you should know’’ I hurried to say before he got started. Joker nodded and waited for me to tell him. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it was ok. He should know. ‘’I’ve..I’ve never done this before’’ I spat it out shyly and expected him to laugh, but nope, he didn’t laugh. ‘’I figured’’ He replied calmly. I looked at him with surprise. Before I could ask him how, he kept going. ‘’You always had an excuse kitten. You could have just told me’’ He let me know and climbed above me. I looked into his eyes quietly. Joker sat on my hips, but he put most of his weight on his legs. 

‘’Sorry’’ I apologized for not telling him earlier. ‘’Hmm..it’s ok. But why didn’t you tell me kitten? Why’’ He pried while taking off his silver jacket, revealing his red shirt that wasn’t buttoned. I saw his toned chest and to be honest I liked that sight. ‘’I was scared’’ I admitted, knowing that being honest with him was the best choice. Joker took off his shirt as well before he leaned closer to my face. ‘’Why were you scared?’’ He purred quietly and cupped my face. I put my hands on his and took a deep breath, noticing how his scent of gunpowder and cologne calmed me down.

‘’I was scared because I know it hurts..and it’s kinda embarrassing’’ I admitted, finding it hard to speak when he started kissing my neck. J licked my skin and then started kissing me until he found my sweet spot. I whimpered,but muffled it by biting my lips together. ‘’It’s not embarrassing’’ He told me seriously before looking back into my eyes.This side of him wasn’t really familiar for me. He wasn’t angry nor overly happy and cheerful. He seemed like he genuinely cared about my safety. But there was also that smirk there since he caught he watching that video. 

‘’You know I won’t hurt you right?’’ He whispered into my ear. I licked my lips and closed my eyes for a while. ‘’..unless you want me to’’ He added darkly, but I knew what he meant with that. ‘’I trust you J’’ I let him know. All this got me hornier and I just wanted to get started. I felt impatient, but also shy and vulnerable. ‘’Look at me’’ He demanded and so I opened my eyes. His face was right above mine. ‘’I’ll take care of you. Why would I ever want to hurt my queen?’’ He looked at me seriously, but he didn’t seem angry. I cracked a smile and it was enough for an answer.

Then J pressed his red lips against mine. I relaxed into the kiss and shut my eyes again, kissing him harder. Joker opened his mouth a little so he could push his tongue out. I gave him access to my mouth and then he started exploring me like never before. His hand travelled down on my body so he was cupping my right boob. I tensed as he touched me and of course he noticed. J pulled back and looked deep in my eyes. ‘’Relax kitten’’ He demanded calmly. I nodded and took a deep breath. 

Then he grabbed the hems of my black shirt that I was wearing and he dragged it up until I was shirtless. I watched as he threw the shirt away somewhere on the wooden floor. The cool air made contact on my skin and I felt goosebumps rising. Then J got up, standing next to the bed. He unbuckled his belt and got out of his black jeans. I was wearing golden pajama shorts and black underwear. When I saw J in his boxers, I realized that this was real. He had a boner and man it looked huge. How could all that fit inside me?

‘’What did you think of when you watched it baby?’’ He broke the silence and got on the bed again. I sat up next to him and sighed. Was it so obvious that I had been thinking of him? Of us doing those things? ‘’You’’ I replied shortly. J put his hands on my shorts and dragged them off, making me raise my legs so he could take them all the way off. Now we were both in our underwear only. I couldn’t help but to be nervous, but I was getting really wet. ‘’Mmh baby..’’ He growled with a smile and suddenly dragged me on his lap. I put my hands on his muscled shoulders and bit my bottom lip.His grip was strong, but sure. I liked it.

‘’I’ve thought about you very very much baby..About you and me, together’’ He purred and then his hands played with my bra. He unclasped them and I felt them hanging by the straps. He had never seen me buttnaked before, but I didn’t mind that he would now. Then he slid them off of me and threw them away as well. My nipples were hard and I knew he noticed. I mean, my boobs were nearly in his face. ‘’You’ve got really nice tits’’ he smirked and cupped both of them. Then he gave them a squeeze, making me flinch because the sensitivity came so suddenly. ‘’I know you like them because you’re always staring’’ I chuckled and tried to feel comfortable. I wasn’t uncomfortable either, just nervous.

‘’Have you touched yourself?’’ J asked me seriously and then licked my left nipple. I bit my bottom lip and nearly moaned when he blew cold air on the spot before nibbling me with his teeth. He used his hand on the other one so I wouldn’t feel lonely. ‘’Tell me’’ He reminded me and kept going. As I opened my  mouth to speak, he bit me a little harder, making me moan. ‘’That’s my girl, don’t hold it back’’ He let me know more happily. ‘’Now tell me, have you ever touched yourself while thinking of us?’’ He wanted to know very eagerly. It made me think of the few times I had done that. It had all been very recently. He was making me a horny mess.

‘’Yes J mmh’’ I whimpered, getting wet for him. Then I looked at my horny boyfriend who got a dangerous dark twist in those pretty eyes. ‘’Dirty dirty girl’’ He rumbled deeply. Then he used his mouth on my other boob. I leaned closer to him so his face was hugging them. I wanted to get some friction, but I was patient enough. I knew that foreplay was important so it wouldn’t hurt so much. His warm hands squeezed my boobs a little harder, making me jump a little every time, but I liked the feeling. Suddenly he pinched both my nipples, making me gasp. ‘’I need to punish you for being a naughty girl, but not tonight’’ He warned me and then moved his hands on my back, sliding them down until he clutched my bum. He did it to press our clothed crotches closer. Then he leaned back against the bedpost and attached his lips on my neck.

‘’Damn..I can feel how wet you are’’ J admitted and grinded his hard on against me. My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head from the unfamiliar touch, but the feeling it made. My clit was pulsing by now because I was so eager for his touch. ‘’Oh baby girl..how long have you been waiting for me?’’ He licked his lips and kept planting kisses on my neck and chest. ‘’A few hours’’ I answered shortly, focusing on the small amount of friction that felt good already.

‘’Maybe..just maybe I won’t tease you too much now’’ He thought out loud. Then he rolled us over so he was on top. I looked into his eyes and now it was my turn to smirk. ‘’It must be tight in those boxers J’’ I whispered and touched his back with my nail, gently tho. ‘’Trust me, it is’’ He growled and then pressed his crotch against mine again, way harder than earlier because he was on top now. As I was about to moan, he pressed those sweet lips of his against mine, making me moan into his mouth. He grabbed my hair with his left hand to keep me steady. The feeling of him dry humping me was so good after waiting so long.

Then he let go of my lips, looking into my eyes silently for a while. He was probably finding it hard to keep control over his actions. ‘’Daddy’s hungry’’ He let me know. At first I didn’t get it, but I was quick to catch on. J went down on me and soon he bit my last piece of clothing, my undies. I watched as he slid them off very slowly, keeping eye contact while teasing the hell out of me. ‘’J’’ I whined impatiently, but couldn’t help but to admit that it was hot. His hands touched my thighs and then moved closer again. He moved his eyes away from my eyes to look at my heat. I felt a little shy and embarrassed again. No one had ever been this close to me.

‘’Oh you’re glistening..something needs to be done here’’ He purred excitedly and placed a kiss on my inner thigh. I squeezed the bedsheets and waited for him to do something. I didn’t even realize that I was holding my breath until he told me. ‘’Relax kitten, I’ll make you feel good’’ He promised me. I let out a long breath and then encouraged him with a smile. ‘’Please daddy’’ I begged him. Something twisted in his eyes and his grip got tighter, but I didn’t feel any pain. Then he licked my pussy slowly, from my clit to my opening. I gasped and then held my breath for a few seconds. J didn’t stop now. He kitten licked my wetness and then attached his mouth of my throbbing clit. I moaned loudly in pleasure. It didn’t hurt, yet.

J nibbled my clit with his teeth and made me arch my back. He put his right arm on my hips to keep me on place. ‘’Damn baby you taste so good’’ He complimented me and kept licking my clit. ‘’harder J’’ I whimpered, wanting more. I wanted him to take me harder. It was probably because I was so horny. ‘’Baby girl..I feel like after a few times you’ll be one feisty beast in bed’’ He chuckled and then pushed his index finger inside of me. He had long and kinda thick fingers. I had never felt that before from anyone else than myself and I had smaller fingers.

I chewed my bottom lip and whimpered as he started fingering me. It hurt a little, but it felt so good as well. Then I moved my hand to touch his arm he used to keep my hips down. J looked at my face to see if I was in any kind of discomfort.  He wasn’t smiling and he had a dark look on his smug face, but I could tell he was both happy but worried. He truly cared about me. ‘’Does my kitten enjoy this?’’ He purred and curled his long finger against me soft walls, hitting a spot that made me moan loudly. He noticed and kept pressing his finger against that magic spot. 

‘’Y-Yes’’ I answered him and tried to buck my hips, but it was useless. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers while using his other hand to pleasure me. Once he pulled out his finger, he pushed back two. This time he had more difficulties getting both in smoothly. I gulped and realized that it hurt a little. J saw it on my face and he stopped. ‘’Relax’’ He reminded me and used his thumb to rub my clit. ‘’Keep going’’ I told him a little unsurely. He listened to me and fingered me with two fingers, but he couldn’t get both fully in. My head leaned against the pillows and I squeezed his hand, but I still moaned out in both pleasure and pain. Soon he managed to get both fingers in and he pressed the magic spot again. 

‘’Fuck yes’’ I breathed out sharply. ‘’It wasn’t that hard to find’’ He told me proudly. I guess the magic spot was my G-spot. He was still slow with his fingers, but I wanted more now that I got more used to it. I wanted to feel him in me, to be connected with him. ‘’J’’ I whispered nervously and looked into his dark eyes. ‘’Yes baby?’’ He answered quickly and stopped moving his fingers. I felt how my juices stained the sheets. I couldn’t help but to think of the chance of bleeding.

‘’I want you’’ I told him honestly. J pulled out his fingers and climbed closer to my face. ‘’Do you want me now?’’ He questioned me with his sexy raspy voice and touched my bottom lips with the fingers he just used to finger fuck me with. I nodded and opened my mouth so I could taste myself. J pushed his fingers in my mouth and I sucked them clean. ‘’I’ll get a condom’’ He let me know. J pressed a kiss on my stomach, making me smile, before he got up. He walked to the dark brown drawer and opened it, grabbing a condom. Reality hit me again. This was it. I just hoped that he managed to remain as calm as possible. J wasn’t normal, but I couldn’t be happier to share this moment with him. No one else could replace him, never ever in a gazillion years.

J took off his boxers and then I saw his cock. My eyes widened. Now it looked even bigger. Pre-cum was dripping from his tip. He was stone hard. It would be a miracle if this wouldn’t hurt. I mean I barely managed two of his fingers and now that? He was at least nine inches long, at least! ‘’Do you want to put it on?’’ J asked me, knocking me out of my thoughts. He had holding the condom near me. I grabbed it from his hand and then ripped the small package open, revealing a slimy piece of rubber that would keep us away from infections and kids.

Then I looked at his cock. Was I supposed to touch him? What if I’d screw up? J noticed that I was staring, so he decided to speak. ‘’You’re adorable’’ He chuckled and then grabbed my wrist, bringing my hand close to his erection. My hands were trembling because I was so nervous, but damn I wanted this. ‘’Um..How do I know when it’s right?’’ I mumbled, feeling like my brain was running in circles. ‘’I’ll know, just roll it on’’ He encouraged me. His voice was raspier than normally. I grabbed his shaft and tried to keep a gentle touch. I had no idea if it hurt or what it felt like for him. Then I put the condom on his tip and tried to remember what I had learned earlier. I pinched the tip while rolling it on. Then I let go and looked at J for approval.

‘’Good, was it so hard?’’ J asked me and licked his lips. I shook my head no, but to be honest I just wanted to begin. ‘’Now baby girl you need to relax, okay?’’ He looked deep in my eyes while making me lie down on my back. ‘’I will’’ I promised him and took a shaky breath. Joker grabbed my legs and put them on his shoulders. Then he positioned himself close to my entrance, letting the tip touch me but he didn’t push in yet. My nerves were about to kill me.

‘’Hey, look at me’’ J demanded and I was quick to do so. He grabbed my hand and looked deep into my eyes. ‘’Do it’’ I whispered and prepared myself for the pain. I gritted my teeth as he pushed his length inside of me, stretching my walls that had never experienced this. First I couldn’t feel pain, until he got an inch or two in. ‘’Fuck’’ I hissed nervously and tensed my muscles.J stopped and clenched his jaw. This wasn’t easy for him either. ‘’Y/N, take it easy baby’’ He reminded me. Tears stung my eyes, but it was mostly because of my nerves. I had been thinking too much all day and this was the moment all that stress and worry came out. It didn’t hurt so much that I couldn’t handle it.

‘’You’re doing good, now be a good girl for daddy and relax’’ J spoke slowly, but deeply. I nodded and relaxed after taking a deep breath.He kept going slowly. I felt the struggle, since everything was so tight down there. J never broke eye-contact while he entered me. Then as I thought things wouldn’t get worse, I felt a stinging pain. ‘’Ow ow ow’’ I whined and gritted my teeth. J didn’t stop, he kept pushing himself in. I knew that he had torn my hymen. ‘’I know it hurts baby,but it’ll be over soon’’ He promised me seriously. The tears rolled down my face, but I didn’t sob. Then he cupped my cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. I liked J like this, which I never expected. 

Soon he was all the way in. J stopped, wanting me to adjust to his size. I was breathing heavily because my nerves were unravelling. It stung and hurt as my walls stretched, but it didn’t get any worse. Actually now that he wasn’t moving, it didn’t hurt too much. ‘’You’re doing so good’’ J purred and tried to stay still. Man he had been weeks without sex and now he had to contain himself, which was a hard task for Joker. I was so glad that he cared about me enough to not hurt me on purpose.

‘’Move’’ I whispered after a while. He nodded and pulled back. I gritted my teeth, but tried to stay relaxed as he moved. J was almost all the way out until he pushed back in, this time a little faster without stopping. I grunted in pain but the pleasure made it bearable. J growled under his breath. I untangled our hands so I could hug him by putting my hands on his strong back. J supported himself a little better now and found a better position. Soon he was finding a slow but steady rhythm. One more single tear rolled down my face until I started to find pleasure coming above the pain. I moaned quite loudly now, allowing J to know that the worst pain was over. He smiled, but it quickly faded as he started to pace up.

My nails raked his back without me noticing. ‘’Fuck J’’ I cried out in pleasure. The feeling was new but so lovely. His big cock rubbed my soft and sensitive walls by every move and once he was in me, his tip hit the magic spot that made my eyes roll to the back of my head. ‘’Do you feel good?’’ He asked me darkly and he gritted his teeth. We were both getting sweaty, but neither of us minded. ‘’Y-Y..ah fuck yes!’’ I wailed out happily. J started breathing heavily and so did I, but I was a moaning mess as well. I bucked my hips against J’s to get more friction. I wanted him to go faster and not be so careful anymore. Just like I read the pain goes away after a few minutes. Now I felt simply amazing.

‘’Faster..’’ I whispered quietly, but he didn’t quite catch it. I knew he wanted to go slow to keep me safe which was sweet. J probably found this hard, since he actually gave a fuck about me. I knew how to make him take me harder tho. ‘’Fuck me harder daddy’’I told him loudly. J slowed down until he stopped. My ass was wet because I was legit dripping arousal. J put his hand on my jaw and looked into my eyes seriously. ‘’Y/N..don’t get me to the point where I can’t control myself’’ He warned me, but I knew he wanted it. Me being the crazy girl who didn’t follow rules anyway did something else.

‘’I know you want to..I can take you daddy’’ I purred and bucked my hips, already missing the feeling of him fucking me. I wanted more. I didn’t even care if it hurt a little bit. ‘’Y/N’’ J growled and shut his eyes. I smirked, knowing that I got him. ‘’I’m all yours daddy, look at me’’ I said innocently. When he opened his eyes I used my left hand to touch my clit. J looked at my actions for a few seconds until he lost it. He grabbed my wrist harshly and pinned it next to my head. ‘’Oh darling you’ll cry soon’’ He warned me angrily. Finally. 

Before I could answer, he grabbed the bedpost and let his anger out on me, just as I expected him to. J pounded himself balls deep in me, making the sound of skin slapping against skin echo in our room and probably the entire penthouse.’’Yes..Yes daddy’’ I gasped and rolled my eyes to the back of my head again. Then I curled my toes and felt a knot forming in my stomach. J was going really hard, harder now that I thought he would. ‘’Is this what you wanted?’’ He growled heatedly. I couldn’t even answer him. The pleasure and pain mixed together had me overwhelmed. My mouth was open and I was gasping between my loud cries of pleasure. The look in J’s eyes was so sexy but dangerous.

I had awakened a beast.

J kept slamming his entire length in me, until a strong feeling seemed to come closer. I guess I was close to an orgasm. Although I also read that most women don’t come the first time, or even the first few times. ‘’J’’ I tried to say his name, but it came out as a whisper. J growled and kept doing this hard work. A shiver ran down my spine and I struggled to breathe. It felt so good. ‘’J’’ I tried again and it came out a little louder. ‘’You’re close, I know’’ he let me know. Tomorrow would be a day I’d find it hard to walk. I just felt it.

As the feeling grew stronger, tears stung my eyes again. I wanted to let go so bad, but I found it hard. I blinked, letting the tears wash down my face. But the roughness was fucking amazing. I knew I wasn’t normal. ‘’Ah-’’ I screamed, but fell silent as a wave of pleasure washed across my entire body, feeling like a good slap. It’s like all my other senses numbed down, only allowing me to feel the amazing feeling. It made my abdomen muscles tense. I curled my toes and used my free hand to dig my nails into J’s back.

After a while I came back to my senses, still feeling like heaven, but something unexpected happened. I got super sensitive. It’s like every move J did was like twenty times more sensitive. ‘’J’’ I whimpered, still recovering from that hard orgasm. He didn’t stop yet. I screamed out and my body started shaking. I was pushing him, but I wanted more. I wanted this, but my body couldn’t handle much more. J noticed and then stopped. He pulled out and put my legs down. I squeezed them together, panting hard on the bed now. J took off the condom and I watched as he came seconds later. His cum cum shot on my body, landing on my stomach. His entire hot load just pooled on my skin as I panted.

For some reason I liked that dirty sight of being covered in his cum. But now I felt like I was on fire, but it was so worth it. J was breathing heavily and he ran his hand through his hair. I cracked a smile and I looked at my boyfriend. Suddenly I felt much closer to him, it’s like we were more serious. ‘’Thank you’’ I whispered tiredly, but I was so happy. J  looked into my eyes more calmly now. ‘’Well it’s not over yet doll face. I need to run you a bath, you’re bleeding’’ He let me know. My eyes widened. Then I sat up, ignoring the burning sensation. He was right. There was a little blood on the sheets. Fuck.

I wasn’t sure if he was angry or not, but I still grew nervous.’’Shit sorry..I-I’ll clean up’’ I promised him quickly. Before I could panic more, J cupped my face and kissed me. It took me by surprise, but I kissed him back. The kiss was sweet and salty, but it sure calmed me down. Then J grabbed my wrists and let me put my hands on his chest. ‘’Oh kitten just take it easy, it’s fine. Daddy isn’t mad at you’’ He assured me. ‘’I lov..’’ I started, but quickly shut up. His smile faded. Joker never told anyone those three words, at least not that I knew of it. He knew how to show his emotions, especially when he got protective over me or when he wanted to spend time with me. He knew it as well ,but so far he had never said that he loved me. I was kinda nervous now. Everything went well, but I went and tried to say those words to him.

Way to go.

‘’I loved it’’ I cleared my throat, talking about the sex. Maybe he’d think through it. J sighed and then stood up. I thought he’d leave me alone, but instead he picked me up in his strong arms. So he carried me to the master bathroom. ‘’I know what you were going to say Y/N’’ he admitted ,but I was unsure if he was angry at me or not. He wasn’t obvious like an open book. No, Joker was a nut that was hard to crack, but I was going the right way. ‘’Sorry’’ I whispered and looked down. He put me on my feet and locked the white bathroom door. My legs were numb, kinda feeling like jelly. So I sat on the edge of the tub quickly. Then I watched as J let the warm water fill the big tub, big enough for two.

‘’Don’t be sorry’’ He started a little angrily. Well sherlock it wasn’t easy not to be. I didn’t want to ruin a perfect night with my own stupid feelings in words. J kneeled down in front of me and rested his head on my knees. ‘’Do you mean it?’’ He wanted to know. A blush spread on my already rosy cheeks. Then I nodded, a little scared if I had to be honest. Instead of getting mad at me like I expected him to be, instead of hitting me neither, he did the opposite.

‘’Well..I think that’s good, so I know our feelings are mutual’’ He let me know mysteriously. Just as I expected, he wouldn’t say ‘I love you’ but he found a way to let me know. 

Well this was a perfect valentine’s day..

'BTS Dishes About Their US Tour, Songwriting Process, & Onstage Style'

TWIST: What are you most excited about for your return to the US?

BTS: The size of the tour got much bigger than last time we were in the US back in 2015. It’s almost 10-fold this time. 5 arena shows in 3 cities sold out in less than 5 minutes! We’re amazed by the fact fans in the USA are passionate and supportive and we’re super excited to come back to meet them all.

TWIST: What is the most exciting part of touring around the world, and what has been the most challenging so far?

BTS: The most exciting part of touring around the world is that you get the unique opportunity to meet different people from various background. Regardless of their differences, they sing BTS songs in unison and cheer for us, and it is very special experience for all of the band. On the other hand, the most challenging part has been the life on the road, being far away from our family and friends for weeks.

TWIST: Which of your songs are you most looking forward to performing on this part of the tour?

Rap Monster: “Spring Day.” I wrote the main melody for the lead single for the first time and also wrote lyrics.

SUGA: “Spring Day.” I wrote main lyrics based on my personal experience with old friends. It is about my sad memories with him and it makes me sentimental whenever I listen to the song.

Jungkook: “Not Today.” It has the coolest beat of all songs in the album and I personally like the choreography for the song.

J-Hope: “FIRE.” It has always been my favorite and the song has all the essence of BTS can show to the audience on stage.

TWIST: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten in your career?

Rap Monster: “If you’re tied up with not gaining approval from others, you’ll never be able to move forward.”

TWIST: How would you say you and your sound have evolved over the years since first forming the group?

BTS: BTS sound has evolved since our debut in 2013 but has rooted its music in western pop music and hip-hop. We try to adapt all the hottest trends in pop music scene and that’s why fans around the world like it despite the cultural differences. All members listen to different genres of music all the time, from EDM, hip-hop, R&B to hip-house… and we believe BTS is kind of creating a new category of music genre beyond K-Pop.

TWIST: Do you remember the first song you ever wrote, what it was about, and what inspired you to write it?

Rap Monster: I don’t remember the name of the song, but there was an online community of amateur rappers who gathered together. I downloaded a beat from another amateur beat maker and I wrote a song based off of that. The song didn’t really make much sense, I just wrote it using every hard word I possibly knew. I actually found the song 2 years ago on my computer and listened to it thinking “What is this?” It was a mess.

TWIST: Have you ever written a song in a strange or unusual place? Or been inspired by something totally random?

Rap Monster: So many, I think I wrote a song while I was at the Grand Canyon in 2009. I had a trip to Vegas/Grand Canyon and I think I wrote a song there because I was shocked by the scenery. I definitely don’t remember what it was about though.

TWIST: Who are some artists that you would love to collaborate with?

BTS: There are so many artists we would love to collaborate with, such as Drake, J Cole, Justin Bieber… The list goes on and on.

TWIST: Which other artists/songs are on your personal playlists?

BTS: Drake “Fake Love”, The 1975, Kehlani, Lorde.

TWIST: How would you describe your personal fashion senses?

BTS: It’s mix of gothic and Japanese street wear. My recent favorite brands are WTAPS, Neighborhood and Yoji Yamamoto.

TWIST: And how does your personal style differ from the costumes you wear onstage?

BTS: Onstage clothing for BTS is custom-made to maximize our performance while being matched with the concept of each song.

TWIST: What is it like when fans recognize you on the street/ask for photos? Is it crazy? Surreal? Overwhelming?

Rap Monster: It’s a really nice experience to have somebody who knows me, but sometimes I like to be alone and hang around the city. I think it depends on the situation. There are some situations that I want to not be noticed by others, but people easily notice me. I’ve been told that I’m too unique (my walk and my clothes) and I’m easy to recognize, and I think that’s really nice. If I’m an artist or an idol and nobody knows me that would be sad.

TWIST: Can you share a fun fact about one of your other band members that you don’t think even the most dedicated fans will know?

Rap Monster: Many people think that SUGA is like the Grandfather of the group, but he acts more like a little kid. Jimin is the opposite, he looks like a baby but inside he’s mature and like a Grandfather.

Happy Tuesday.

I’m calling it “Yurio Catches Puberty” as a working title. (PG for swearing and puberty.) (Warning for body image stuff, very minor.) 

***

“WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER?”

The scream of anguish from the rink’s locker room shower made Yuuri look up sharply. He’d only arrived in St. Petersburg yesterday, but this couldn’t be normal, even if nobody else seemed to be paying the slightest attention.

“AUGH!”

It was definitely Yurio.

“Yurio?” he started to ask, but Georgi clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t engage,” he hissed.

Yuuri looked at him, wide-eyed.

“What’s going on?” he whispered, as Yurio began a steady, at least quieter stream of cursing in Russian, then English, then Japanese that Yuuri definitely hadn’t taught him.

“Puberty,” Georgi said.

Yuuri blinked. “Puberty?” he asked.

Georgi gave him a disgusted look. “Of course,” he mumbled to himself. “The golden boy didn’t suffer puberty…”

He wandered off, now also cursing, and Yuuri had ten seconds of silence before Yurio kicked the shower door open and strode out, towel around his waist.

(There is a readmore below! Read more!)

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Kiss the Girl

Summary: Literally based on The Little Mermaid’s “Kiss the Girl,” Bucky develops a crush on you after seeing you in various of Tony’s soirees, but is too shy to go up to you. 

Word Count: 2,304

Warnings: None.

A/N: Something quick I whipped up. Hope you all enjoy. This is fluffy af.

Originally posted by adoroituoigrovigli


“It’ll be fun!” Tony had said. And honestly, Bucky felt like punching him, just breaking his nose, or bruising him enough in such a way that he would never suggest this to Bucky again.

How could a room full of drunk, screaming people could be fun? Bucky grimaced, as yet another girl sidled up to him and batted her eyelashes at him. He shook his head and gave her a polite smile.

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Just a Sterek drabble I wrote on this rainy Sunday afternoon because I started my day off watching an absolutely SOUL-CRUSHING ep of House, M.D. and needed a little something to cheer myself up afterwards.

In case it’s not your thing: this fic features Stiles/OMC, but not for long. ;) Rated T, under 1k words

Sometimes Stiles’ new boyfriend can be fairly awesome, like when they stay up until three a.m. together playing video games and making out, or like that time… like… Well, pretty much all the examples Stiles can think of right now are sex things, but. But Jake’s a nice guy, kind of. He’s hot. He’s so hot Stiles still can’t believe he wants to date Stiles, and there are times when he can be a lot of fun.

Then there are the times (like today) that have Stiles questioning all his life choices, especially this one.

“Stiles, stop texting Lydia,” Jake says. No—practically whines. Seriously.

“Uh, no?” Stiles hits send, because Jake is not the boss of him. “We’re still on the ground. We don’t have to turn our phones off yet.”

And now Jake is pouting at him, like he’s six years old. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

Stiles can’t help but roll his eyes. “Stop trying to tell me who I can and cannot text. It’s creepy and controlling.”

Jake tries to put his hand over Stiles’, and it actually makes Stiles’ skin crawl a little bit. Stiles crosses his arms over his chest, hands safely tucked into his armpits. In retrospect, inviting Jake along on a trip to Hawaii was probably a bad idea when they’ve only been dating for three months.

Jake crosses his arms, too. “I’m your boyfriend. I’m not allowed to get a little possessive?”

“A little possessive? This is not ‘a little possessive.’ This is annoying and ridiculous and petty and invasive and… Look, yes, I’m bisexual, but Lydia and I are just friends. We’re always going to be friends, and I’m never cutting her out of my life for a boyfriend. The end. So you can stop being a jealous dick—”

“Or what?”

Stiles can’t believe they’re having this conversation right now. “Or maybe we shouldn’t be dating after all.”

Jake runs a hand through his sandy blond prince-charming hair and snorts. “Please, this relationship is over when I say it is. Or do you seriously think anyone else is lining up to date you?”

For a moment Stiles is actually speechless, because how has he spent the last three months thinking this guy was attractive? How did he overlook this level of douchebaggery? Some kind of witchcraft, probably.

That’s when the guy in the row ahead of them turns around in his seat, looks Stiles straight in the eye, and says without even one hint that he’s joking, “I would date you.”

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Aqours 1st Live - Aida Rikako’s post-live thoughts

Aqours 1st LoveLive!
Thank you very much for the past two days at ~Step! ZERO to ONE~!! It really, really was a marvelous time. I had fun from the bottom of my heart, and I’m not even exaggerating. It really was a great feeling that made me feel like I was truly alive. I cannot forget everyone’s faces that I saw while I was going around on the trolley. Everyone was shining!!
In truth, when I first heard about the results of Sunshine’s audition, I was at Yokohama Arena with my mother. I can still remember when we were embracing each other even now. It has been 2 years since then. I would never have dreamed that we would be able to stand on this stage now. Love Live! Is something that a lot of people have given their love for, and I once again felt really blessed to be able to take part in it.
I learned the real value of becoming a team and going up from 0. There were 9 of us on stage, but the stage that we created was because of the all the team members, as well as the fans.

This is all I can say!
There was a lot of love enveloping us, and it really, really became a marvelous live!!!!!! However, I have something I must apologize to everyone for. I would like to apologize for the worries that I felt. After discussing with the rest of the team, I decided to perform on the piano. I never wanted to back down, so I requested to be given the chance to do it.
And so, I really give my apologies to the rest of the team who believed in me until the end; I betrayed them. It was exactly because of that that we did not discuss the possibility of failure. Also, having made the other members feel worry in that moment, as well as all the people who had paid money to watch a professional fail, all these emotions mixed together in my head and I panicked. Somehow, I was able to complete it on Day 1, so I calmed down and decided to play with more of a smile like Riko’s on Day 2. To be honest, I cannot remember that moment very well. But the members rushed over to me during the dance, and I also heard the voices of everyone there, so I was able to stop crying and bring back out the “Sakurauchi Riko” within Aida Rikako once again. Without that, my heart would’ve surely broken, and I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life. Thank you very much for giving me another chance. And then the lyrics of Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare also resonated in my chest and supported me. I was once again able to realize how great the power of music was, and that it was able to give me so much courage.

“It was really the greatest performance by everyone! I was moved!” was what I heard from a lot of people, but a failure is a failure. I am no longer qualified to be a professional standing on stage. I really reflected on it.
And after that I had to perform with a smile. Because I was no longer qualified to cry. But I was able to continue until the very end thanks to the warmth of all the fans. Thank you, thank you very much for supporting me.
Also, I will never forget the members who rushed over so that I wouldn’t be alone, and held me and my hands in that unbelievable location, all the time from before the beginning until after the very end, as well as the fun after the live as they greeted me with smiles and laughed it off. Those 8 people who were there definitely felt the same way as everyone. I was glad that it was 9 people once again. Thank so so much for saving me.
And also, I am very grateful to the piano teacher who seriously taught the amateur me who could not even read musical notes for 3 months.
It was really difficult; my fingers did not move as I expected, but I was able to slowly get better and better at playing, and I was able to think, “Playing the piano is fun!” And that was definitely thanks to the people who told me so. I started the piano from this age, so I was worried about whether it was truly okay, but I was told many times that it was important to challenge that thought.

It’s getting quite long, but I wanted to tell everyone as soon as possible.

Now, the second season of the TV anime, as well as 2nd live tour and many others were announced! Aqours is advancing from here onto the next Step once again. In order to make all of you know more and more about Aqours, I will put out my heart and try even harder than my best that I have done until now as a member of Aqours!!!
So please cheer me on as a member of Aqours and as Sakurauchi Riko from now on as well.

I will forever treasure everyone who supported me.
Let’s go and see more marvelous sights together! The voice of Sakurauchi Riko 🌸 Aida Rikako


Holy shit.

Sweet Valentine // Spencer Reid x Reader

“That’s sickening,” you commented with a grin as a bouquet of flowers was delivered to JJ right in front of you. She chuckled, aware of the fact you were joking and simply waved the comment away.

“Will is just sweet,” she replied. Your grin grew bigger at the fact JJ couldn’t hide the growing blush on her cheeks. She and Will had been together for a while now and yet he always seemed to find a way to fluster her. Watching JJ receive little gifts was something the whole office had come to enjoy.

“You’re just mad cause you don’t have a date lil mama,” Morgan commented with a smile. You scoffed as you swiveled your chair around in order to face him.

“I don’t need a date. I have Emily and Reid this year,” you replied with a smug smirk. The three of you were the singles of the group and after much convincing, you’d managed to have them agree to an anti-valentine’s day.

“About that…” Emily replied guiltily.

“Emily! Did you seriously get a date at the last minute?? What happened to all of us agreeing to boycott Valentine’s Day by spending it getting drunk together?!” You exclaimed in disbelief.

“Okay one- we did not agree to boycott. We only agreed to spend the day together since none of us had dates, and two-the drinking thing was your idea. Not that I wouldn’t mind getting completely wasted although I do worry about Reid if you continue that plan,” she laughed. “Sorry babe, I got asked out and I just couldn’t say no.”

“Looks like it’s just you and Reid now,” JJ replied with a wiggle of her eyebrows. You rolled your eyes at the gesture, knowing well that she always pictured the two of you together. You couldn’t deny the fact you’d developed some feelings for the man, but expecting Spencer to make a move was like waiting for rain in a drought. It wasn’t likely to happen any time soon.

“I guess I’ll have to let him know it’s just the two of us,” you replied as you shot Emily a look through narrowed eyes. She smiled brightly, her eyes shining with mischief.

“I already let him know last night,” she replied.


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What’s Between Us

Summary: Requested by @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics:  For your fluff week, could you please write a Steve x reader fic where the reader breaks her arm or something during a mission so she has to stay in the tower to heal. After a while she gets really bored and glum so Steve takes her out to cheer her up? Maybe by taking her duck feeding or to the zoo or something.

Word Count: 3,254

Warnings: None.

A/N: One of my favorites ever. I hope you all enjoy <3 

Originally posted by imagine-that-marvel


Stepping into the common room, Steve couldn’t help the affectionate smile that bloomed on his lips. You were sprawled on the couch, looking every part the most miserable person, groaning at the roof, head pulled back on the armrest. Your broken arm was in a cast, resting on your chest, the TV’s remote thrown on the floor right next to the arm you had hanging off the sofa. The television was still on, but you weren’t paying attention to it, and Steve suspected it was because you were bored.

He walked forward and cleared his throat, letting you know he was there. That sound made you sit up and you spun your head around until your eyes met. Steve grinned.

“Are you doing okay?”

You glowered. “No. I’m bored as all hell and there’s nothing to do in this stupid place that doesn’t require both of my hands.”

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The Name Game

The Name Game (m)

Word count: 3.1k

Genre/warning: smut, literally no plot - I legit was having some Tae feels and wanted a dirty talk, fuckboy one shot. So this is the result.

Also for my baby girl, @borderlinehc hope you enjoy. 

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You invite some of your friends over for a small party. When a tame night in turns into a dirty one. Your friend Hoseok comes up with a fun game for you all to participate in.

You were rushing around your house getting everything ready at the last possible second. It was only some of your closest friends coming over but you still wanted the house to look good. Especially if Taehyung might show up. He said he had to work but he would try and get his shift covered. You felt like such a teenager but you really did have such a big thing for him.

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two rotten apples [m] | pt. 2

credit: x.

❛❛we’re next-door neighbors and have hated each other since middle school but now we’re going to the same university how can we avoid the other person like the plague so there isn’t a crime scene— what do you mean you promised my mom you would keep an eye on me???? you fucking planned this❜❜ AU

COUNT → 17.686

GENRE → smut | eventual angst

PAIRING → jungkook | reader

WARNINGS → dom and sub tones | spanking mention | mild cum play | explicit language | male and female masturbation | penetration | erotica mention | public sex | restraints | dry humping | graphic dirty talk 

LINKS → 1 | 2 | COMING SOON


The second the timer on the drying machine went off to alert you of your shirt finally being dry enough to wear, the band from its neckline snapped against your shoulders when you slipped it back on. You pulled some of the cotton material to your nose, trying to see if it still even faintly smelled like beer.

Unlike your underwear which just smelled like cum and farts.

The farts courtesy of Jungkook. Well, you didn’t know if he actually farted, but he just naturally smelled like that to you—like old beans and moldy cheese.

You’d spent the past two hours in the laundry room in nothing but a bra and your loose-fitted skirt. It still hadn’t hit you yet—at least not entirely—that you had let your next-door neighbor spank and bone the living shit out of you. That was something you were going to put on your list of stupid-things-you’ve-done-but-did-anyway-for-some-reason. Maybe his mother could relate after giving birth to him. You were pretty sure she found him just as annoying as you.

But then everyone else thought rainbows shined out of his ass.

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Okay so Lance...

This post sparked a headcanon in my head and I can’t stop imaging it now so I’m going to talk about it and develop it a bit more (feel free to add to it, share your opinion about it, talk to me about it, etc)

Considering its pretty much canon that Lance has a big family with the photo we saw in season one I can’t help but picture him with his siblings and cousins having soccer games whenever they’re together. Family gathering or not, I can totally see lance being a decent soccer player. 

Hear me out: 

- Lance plays soccer as a kid since his older sibling(s) did and his parents insisted he try some extracurriculars

- He sticks with it for quite a few years getting pretty good always enjoying it 

- But as he gets older his dreams of being a professional soccer player are replaced with piloting and the Garrison

- Everyone’s crushed when he quits because Lance had the potential to go pro and all his coaches said so

- He doesn’t think about it much and kind of just shrugs when people compliment his soccer skills, Lance doesn’t really believe he’s as great as everyone says he is because of his self-doubt and insecurities 

- Lets be real he’d totally look good in a soccer uniform and I bet he has all the merch of his favourite team including like three jerseys, two scarves, temporary tattoos, and a ball signed by his fave player (Keith sees Lance in a soccer jersey at some point and dies a little inside bc holy quiznak he looks so good??)

- On a particularly bad day when Lance is really missing home and his family Hunk catches on and suggests that they all play a quick game of soccer which totally brightens Lance’s mood

- After setting up two goals in the training room and briefing Allura and Coran about the rules and basic concept (Altea probs had the same sport just with a different name lets be real) they split into teams: Lance, Pidge, Shiro VS Keith, Hunk, Allura w/ Coran reffing 

- It starts off fun with everyone laughing and just trying their best but as soon as Lance and Keith butt heads it turns competitive and all hell breaks loose 

- Pidge being the dork she is doesn’t understand the hype over soccer and only continues to play because she’s enjoying spending time with the group (and she secretly wants to win lol for bragging rights) 

- Shiro is all “Keep it a fair game guys! You’re all doing great! Great pass Lance!” and is just happy to see everyone having fun and working together

- Keith is ride or die with any competition and is determined to take Lance down (while also trying to ignore how amazing Lance is bc I can’t get enough of pining Keith lol)

- Hunk is probably a soccer player too so he’s loving it, he’d be the best defence player omg

- Allura picks it up easily and is wicked good totally kicking everyone’s asses, she goes from ‘innocent team fun’ to ‘you’re all going down mfs eat my dust’ (Shiro is smitten af lol he keeps getting distracted by her flawlessness which makes Lance all “Dude! Get it together I am not losing to Keith!”)

- Coran is the best ref ever and is just cheering for everyone the entire time, he’d probably dress for the part too (omg imagine Coran with the black and white striped shirt, a black cap, and whistle lol

- It ends up a tie because the teams are equally good, also the game goes on for much longer than expected so they all get tired af and just finally give in satisfied with the game

- Coran brings out drinks and they all just chill together settling down; everyone’s sweaty and out of breath, they all have goofy grins 

- Lance quietly thanks Hunk for getting everyone involved and just sighs happily at his space family

- Just imagine it guys

- Also someone should totally draw this

- Just saying…

Nice to Meet You

Summary: An Sam x reader a/b/o fic. The reader moves to a new town and changes careers, but those aren’t the only major life changes she’s faced with. (An AU where both Sam and the reader work at a high school.)

Warning: a/b/o dynamics, knotting and claiming, smut

Word Count: 5,000ish

A/N: I had fun writing his one. Hope y’all enjoy it, too! Feedback appreciated!! XOXO

Originally posted by samwinchesterappreciation

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You should be here

A/N: Inspired by the song “You Should be Here” by Cole Swindell. This is a feels smack. In this story Dean took Amara down with the spirit bomb they made, leaving Sam to raise Dean’s young daughter.

Listen to it here (play the song if you really wanna bawl while reading this)

Sam x Niece!Reader   Dean x Daughter!Reader

Sam felt his strong facade begin to crumble as he watched Dean say his goodbyes to you. At only four years old you didn’t fully understand what was going on but you got the jist of it, your dad was going away and wouldn’t be coming back.

Which was breaking your heart.

Tears were pouring down your face as you clung to Dean begging him not to leave you. Sam looked at Dean and could tell Dean was about to lose it as he held onto you tighter. His face was buried in your hair, breathing in your scent, memorizing you because who knew where his soul would go after he destroyed Amara.

Glancing up at his brother, Dean realized it was time for him to leave. “Go with your uncle Y/N. Sammy’s gonna take care of you.” Dean said while trying to get free of your grip.

“No Daddy.” You cried, digging your hands into his shirt, “Please don’t leave me.”

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