i had a breakdown over this earlier

Breakfast for the Boys

Notes: Once again, gotta thank @welllpthisishappening for listening to be babble on about this drabble and others like in the works. Without her encouragement, I probably would do nothing with this. Anyway, no Beth or Wes in this one. Strictly Harrison and Captain Cobra. You can read on AO3 here: [LINK]

Summary: Killian meets Henry for breakfast at Granny’s sans Emma despite sleep deprivation brought on by his newly-teething son. He quickly discovers he isn’t the only fan of bacon and sleep-deprivation does not excuse oneself from being teased by their stepson.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,900+

 When Killian had found out Emma was pregnant, he had been stunned and more than a little fearful. However, after the initial shock had worn off, he became excited; over the moon in fact. Never in his nearly two centuries of life did he ever really expect to be someone’s father. (There had been a brief glimmer of hope with Baelfire all those years ago but that dream had died almost as soon as it has been begun to form in his head. And sure, he had Henry, whom he adored and loved fiercely, but Killian would never dare to try and replace Baelfire. It would have been a disservice to the man who desired that title so fiercely. No, Killian was never going to be Henry’s father, but he was definitely going to try hardest to be the best stepfather he could be.)

Now that the babe had been born and had been dictating their lives for the past months, Killian was just tired. Constantly. After spending practically centuries captaining the Jolly with a limited sleep schedule, Killian had thought he had at least been prepared for this aspect of fatherhood. He hadn’t. Reality had sunk in quickly and ruthlessly when his son had arrived home. The days seemed to bleed into each other painfully with no end in sight for midnight, two o’clock, four o’clock and six o’clock cries for feedings, cuddles and diaper changes. The worst thing was that it hadn’t petered out over the months like all the parent books promised, much to his dismay. No, instead of sleeping more, his son was sleeping less now that his teeth had decided to come in early. Their sleep schedule was even more messed up now especially since new teeth were not as easy to placate as a nightly need to feed. Though Killian loved his son fiercely, the sleep deprivation was jarring and he felt more like a zombie than he did when he was actually dead.

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The Arrangement (Part 3)

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 4

Summary: You’ve had a friends with benefits arrangement with Yoongi for about a year now and things are going smoothly. Or they were going smoothly until Namjoon stumbled on your dirty secret. Now things are way out of control.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader; Namjoon x Reader

Warnings: No porn in this one kids. Just fluffy, angsty plot

Words: 2590

Originally posted by jjkook

               When you wake up the next morning Namjoon is wrapped around you tighter than humanly possible. His arms are like a vice around your waist, legs so tangled with yours it’s impossible to tell where he stops and you start. Not that you’re complaining. He’s warm and solid against you, chest rising and falling in slow, even breaths as he continues sleeping. You take your time to admire him in the early morning sunlight, fingers tracing over his strong jawline. He looks practically angelic with sun casting a glowing light on his face. How someone look so innocent when they sleep but be so filthy when they’re awake?

               “Don’t stop,” Namjoon mutter, eyes still closed, when you take your hand from his face. He pulls you in even closer as his own hand strokes your back, burying his face in your hair.

               “Someone’s cuddly this morning.” You laugh quietly as you run your fingers through his soft hair. “Are you ever going to let me go?”


               “I won’t complain.” As if to contradict your words your stomach lets out a loud growl. Namjoon simply chuckles, letting you go so he can roll on his back. “But my stomach might.”

               “Stay here.” Namjoon gets out of bed and slides on his boxers. “I’ll be back.”

               You make a face. “Are you going to cook?”

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I looked around the room we were escorted to when we arrived at the doctor’s office and shook my head. I couldn’t believe this was supposed to be a place someone came to get treatment.

We weren’t even in a real waiting room it was like more like a small office.

“What’s up with all the security?” I questioned

She rolled her eyes “I don’t know, talk to my dad about it. I don’t know why he’s being like this” she huffed

I shook my head. I knew the man was a senator but this was a bit too much, or maybe he didn’t want people to know that his twenty-year-old daughter was pregnant.

If that’s the case, he was lame as fuck. I didn’t even bother to bringing the idea up to Cyn because I wasn’t sure how her emotions were today and I didn’t want this to be something that would ruin her mood.

“You know…” she began “You didn’t have to take off of work just so you could come with me, you know” Cyn said

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God is good. You guys I can’t reiterate this enough. God. Is. Good. He is so, so good. Even when I don’t deserve it, He is still good to me. I’ve had a whirlwind of a day and it seemed like everything came crashing down on me all at once and I was shaken. I had a complete breakdown and when I say I felt lost and helpless, I’m not joking.

Just hours earlier I truly wanted to just give up and give in. But God intervened in my life. He reminded me that yes, there are going to be mountains, but He is the one that can move them. He’s made paths for me before, guided me over obstacles that I thought were impossible to overcome, and loved me all the while.

Today was a huge reminder that God hasn’t left me and that He will always, ALWAYS be right there for me. Guys, there will always be mountains in our life that seem too impossible to climb. It’s going to get hard. There will be days when you want to stop and give up. Don’t. Please, please remember that you have a Father that can move those mountains for you. He will restore you and give you the strength and determination to make it through.

Tell your mountains about your God and have faith and trust. God did not bring you this far in life to leave you. He’s right there, always.

anonymous asked:

Pls part two to the bakugou angst? I'm not exactly sure if requests are open, but if they aren't just delete this!:)

Ask and you shall receive! Eventually!! I made it fairly gender neutral, since the original ask didn’t specify. 

You tugged one of Kirishima’s old shirts over your head, not bothering with pants since it was only Kirishima anyway. The two of you had been having sleepovers for years, much to the chagrin of a certain explosive person in your lives. Not that Katsuki had ever needed to worry; Kirishima was like a brother to you.

It was both a relief and a painful reminder to shower and change your clothes. On one hand, it hurt to let go. You were still shaky and puffy-eyed from the breakdown you’d had earlier and only sheer force of will was keeping you from curling up and napping for the rest of time.

On the other hand… changing was like an invitation to forget about that pain, just for a while. Focus on other things. You hadn’t lasted this long in a relationship with Katsuki by simply laying down and crying when times got tough.

You took a deep breath and walked out of the guest room Kirishima had prepped for you during your shower. He was on the phone when you made it to the front room, sounding exasperated.

“Look bro, if they walked out it’s your own fault… Well, because you’ve been a dick lately. I know work has been stressful but… No, for the twelfth time, I don’t know where Y/N is… Yeah I already said I’d help with that work thing, I’m pissed that it happened too. But the way you’re dealing with it is your own damn fault…” When he saw you walk in, he gave you a sad smile and put a finger to his lips. Then he nodded encouragingly toward the kitchen, probably telling you to eat something.

You obliged, if only so you didn’t have to hear Katsuki’s voice through the receiver anymore. He wasn’t yelling, but he was loud; to anyone else it would have sounded like he was angry, but the blind panic in his voice was clear to you even from ten feet away. He was worried about you. You knew it would happen, but it hurt to know you’d caused that.

When you reached the kitchen, you were wrenched out of your thoughts by what– or rather, who –was waiting in the doorway, holding out a cupcake with the most deadpan expression he could manage.

“Happy birthday,” Shouto said quietly, keeping his voice low so the phone didn’t pick it up.

“When did you–”

“Bakugou called me forty minutes ago.” Shouto shrugged, not looking like he really cared about Katsuki in the slightest. The two of them had stopped hating each other over the years, but some things never changed. “He didn’t say anything so I assumed you finally walked out on him, and I know you. You probably came directly here. Therefore, so did I.”

It was funny how, even years later, he was still so awkward. He did his best though, and that was all you could ask for. He and Kirishima were your two most trusted friends, because you liked how genuine they both were. If you needed help, they came running. Literally, this time.

Well, them and someone else, usually. You felt your eyes brim with tears and scrubbed them away roughly, unwilling to cry again today. Shouto looked completely out of his element, unsure if he should do anything to help.

“I was promised cupcakes,” Kirishima sang as he trotted into the kitchen, putting his phone in his pocket. A shadow flitted out the corner of your eye, near the window. A bird.

He grabbed a cupcake and raised it solemnly in a toast. “To Y/N. May all of your birthdays be less shitty than this year’s.”

Shouto nodded in agreement and raised his own cupcake. You were 90% sure he was only doing it because he didn’t quite realize that it was a joke, which made you smile a little.

You raised your own cupcake. “To me!”

The three of you ate the treats in companionable silence, then Shouto’s head whipped to the side, toward the window you’d seen the shadow through earlier. “Did you guys see that?”

“It’s been happening for awhile, I thought it was a bird.” You took another bite of your cupcake, but looked at him carefully. Shouto was a good pro hero, second only to Deku himself. His instincts were second to none, though. If he thought there was danger, you wouldn’t doubt him.

But he just shook his head. “It must have been.”

“You’re just on edge, bro. You know what we need? A good, old-fashioned bad movie marathon.” Kirishima polished off his third cupcake and pulled out his phone, tapping on it a few times. Not even a minute later, he showed you the screen. “This one is awful, and it’s on Netflix. You game?”

“Of course,” you smirked.

Shouto rolled his eyes fondly, but followed the two of you into the front room anyway. He never had understood your fascination with bad cinema, but he never failed to be present for it anyway. And right now, a little laughter with your best friends was what you needed to keep your mind off of a certain blond bombshell.

Not that you got that chance, though.

Less than an hour into the first movie, explosions went off outside, near the back of the building. Then came that ever familiar bellow that could shake a building’s foundation.


Shouto cursed quietly and stood up, turning toward the source of the noise. Your eyes followed the direction he was facing and there you saw him. Outside the window, Katsuki faced off with at least two (though it could have been more) people, looking more murderous than you’d ever seen him.

“Oh, shit. I was right. Didn’t think he’d come without backup though.” Kirishima moved so fast you could barely see him, stopping at the door for a split second to give you strict orders to “stay with Todoroki, I have to keep him from doing anything stupid.”

You looked toward Shouto again, noticing the mildly bemused look on his face. “Do you know what the hell is going on? Why is he so angry?”

“Ah… Well, I would assume that it’s because these are the people that indirectly caused you to leave Bakugou in the first place,” Todoroki said, as matter-of-fact as ever. He’d never cared much for Katsuki, so somewhere in the back of your mind you doubted that he cared whether you left him for good or not.

Then the gravity of his words sank in. “What do you– I left him because he didn’t love me!”

“Really?” Shouto cocked his head. “I may not know much about romance, but I thought you left him because he’s been distant and forgot your birthday. Which is valid, of course.”

Another explosion and more screaming echoed through the room before you answered. “Well… yeah. But what does that have to do with them?”

“Those people are agents of the Anti-Hero Alliance,” he explained, sealing the doors and windows shut with a thick coating of ice. “And recently, from what I’ve heard, they’ve been targeting you. I couldn’t say for sure, since Bakugou’s agency has been completely quiet on the whole matter, but that’s what Kirishima made it sound like earlier.”

The information rocked you to your core. That explained why neither Kirishima nor Shouto had tried to tell you that you were better off without him, or any of the other stuff you’d expected them to say. “So that’s why…”

“Mmhmm.” Once the room was secure, Shouto turned back to you. “I didn’t worry about it because I knew better than to think he would ever let anything happen to you. But maybe I should have been more proactive. I apologize.”

The explosions stopped abruptly and Kirishima shouted through the ice layers. “Everything is fine! Melt the house!”

Well that was fast, you thought, still reeling. The next thirty minutes were a whirlwind of activity, from the melting of the house to the police reports. Katsuki avoided your eyes the entire time. Then, almost too quickly, everything was over. It was just the four of you.

And then Kirishima, as the very good bro that he apparently was, decided to take Shouto and ditch the two of you to give you some time to talk. As if Katsuki ever actually talked things through.

You were the first to break the awkward silence. “You didn’t tell me.”

He snorted. “No shit. You would have fucking charged in there, guns blazing. If I’d told you, you would have gotten yourself killed.”

He pushed me away, he let me leave him… to protect me? That sounded… exactly like something he would do. And he wasn’t entirely wrong; there was a good chance that you would have gone out looking for them yourself.

“I'm… I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “You were just trying to–”

“I was being a dick is what I was doing,” he snapped, flushing. “I knew exactly what it was fucking doing to you but you were safer that way. I’m not going to apologize for it and neither should you. I’d do it again.”

That was a harsh way of putting it, but you understood his meaning. He’d go through all of this again to keep you safe. You’d do the same for him.

“I am sorry about your birthday though,” he muttered, surprising you. “I got your present a month ago but I didn’t realize it was today.”

As if your birthday was the important thing now. You wanted to laugh. But you took the words for what they were: a rare olive branch, a sincere apology.

You tackled him in a tight hug. “Show it to me when we get home, okay?”

Slowly, hesitantly, his arms came up around you as if he was still processing your forgiveness. “Yeah.”

Only when you reached the front door did you remember.

“I should probably put some pants on first, though.”


earlier today I said goodbye to my estranged mother for the last time.  as in, physically.  we’re never going to be in the same room in the future.  I’m never going to see her alive again.

and because of a whole long list of reasons, some of which had nothing to do with our history and more to do with my slowly escalating existential breakdown about [redacted] and my panic over the move, it wasn’t a good send-off. we both said some things.  and when we were parting at the door she burst into ugly tears and said the words I hate hearing most of all in the entire goddamn english language because they always preceded some kind of emotional violence, back at Hell House, which are “I” and “love” and “you.”

to which I said “don’t do this to yourself,” and she said, “goodbye,” and I said, “take care,” and then I shut the door, and immediately my brain started screeching HEY CONGRATS IT’S HOURS BEFORE YOM KIPPUR AND YOU JUST HURT SOMEBODY YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO SEE AGAIN, GOOD WORK, YOU ARE AN AWFUL HUMAN BEING AND A WORSE JEW AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE BAD THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING TO YOU!!!!!!

which like, a) simmer down timothy, but b) I also simultaneously had a thought that was essentially maybe now I’ve finally hurt her as much as she hurt me and WOW was that ever a PUTRID feeling.

I used to fantasize about that, about making her understand how awful she’d been and getting to watch the dawning horror as she finally realized all the stuff she’d done to her only child, and the fantasy always ended with her being a better person because of it, but the impetus for the fantasy was always her hurting.  revenge.  I’m not proud of those fantasies but I also never thought about them that much?  it was just an intrusive story that I didn’t bother shutting down whenever it came up.  I didn’t analyse it.  not until it, like.  essentially happened in front of my eyes.  it didn’t feel good, like I thought it would, through all those years of fantasy.   it just made me feel sick and conflicted and tired, and more unhappy than I already did.  all of a sudden I was just…done.

and it was – I don’t know.  an important lesson for me, I think, in a year already full of important lessons.  a lot of lessons this year hurt.  I guess if you get deep enough into your own flawed assumptions it follows that it’ll hurt more to get yanked out of them.  I spent the last ten months isolating myself to a degree that no one ever should, if they want to retain any reasonable semblance of personhood.  it was literally dehumanizing to be as isolated as I was.  I turned into a parody of myself, tracking over the same outdated narratives: I’m sad.  I’m alone.  I’m disabled.  I’m a victim.  bad things happen to me.  I’m a bad person.  I’m unhappy.

for a long time I thought I was unhappy because I had a crummy life.  what I’ve realized recently is that I think I have a crummy life because I’m measuring my quality of life in terms of a subjective emotional state.  that’s what we’re supposed to strive for, right?  happiness?  it’s the mark of a life well-lived, everyone says: whether you were happy.  but I’m not, and I won’t be, as long as I keep using it as a ruler.  I’ll do X when I’m healthier, I keep telling myself.  and when I’m healthier, I’ll be happier, and therefore I can do Y.  that’s not how it should work.  THAT’S NOT HOW IT SHOULD WORK.  instead of promising myself that I’ll do some huge act of world-improvement in the nebulous future where I’m happy, i.e. magically no longer Sick, I need to be doing what I can, what I’m actually able to do, right now, regardless of my personal happiness.   who cares?  who cares?  so what!  so what if I’m unhappy?  at the end of the day, how has my personal happiness effected the world?  I didn’t make the world a better place when I was miserable but I didn’t make the world a better place when I was happy, either.  those excuses I’m making?  those are her excuses.  we’ll be thousands of miles apart and she’ll still be speaking through my mouth, if I let her.  I don’t want that to be true.  I want to be more than she raised me to be.

for many people, tomorrow is a clean slate.  we wear white for purity and to remind ourselves that we’re mortal; the burial shroud, too, is white.  it’s not that I don’t think I deserve a clean slate, but this isn’t about deserving.  it’s about intention.  I don’t want my slate to be clean.  there are so many things I did this year that I can’t atone for in traditional ways – I can’t repair the lies I told to strangers, or make amends to my abuser without losing my integrity, or fix the universe so I never put down my furbrother.  I can only atone for the disservices I did to myself.   I want to hold onto these fire-hot things, this anger at my own apathy, the knowledge that I could have put so much more good into the world if I hadn’t hyperfocused on my own small miseries.  my grudges.  my victimhood.

I want 5778 to be the year of learning what I can do when I stop letting that narrative define my actions.  I want 5778 to be the year of asking myself: who does this benefit?  I want 5778 to be the year of no more excuses.

full slate.

furious hands.

I’m ready.

A Little More Human

Rating: General

Relationships: Genji Shimada & Angela “Mercy” Ziegler, Jesse McCree & Genji Shimada

Word count: 1700+

Tags: hurt/comfort, angst, trauma, self-hatred, emotional hurt, shame, platonic gency and platonic mcgenji but you can easily read romance into it if you want haha

Summary: Genji, ashamed of his newly acquired cyborg body, struggles with feelings of self-loathing and disgust. Dr. Ziegler and Jesse McCree provide support.

read it on ao3

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i’m sorry i had a breakdown earlier. if i worried or upset you, i want you to know that i’m okay. something happened and it pushed me over the edge but from now on i’m really going to work on being better.

Solstice - Chapter 3

This is Chapter 3 of my entry for @sincerelysaraahh‘s So This is Love January Challenge.  


Summary: The reader is on a cruise to Alaska - her graduation present from college - when she finds out that she is to marry someone of her parent’s choosing.  Can a stranger on the ship help her find happiness and escape her family’s expectations?

warnings: angst, arranged marriage

word count: ~1620

Your mother had texted you another eight times as you sat silently with Dean watching the land disappear – until the ship was far enough off shore for your cell phone to lose service. You finally decided to head back to your room to change for dinner, as you had a formal meal scheduled in the dining room that evening.  With a short and simple goodbye to Dean, you left the peaceful eighth-floor deck.

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Smoulder Chapter 2

Story summary: Marinette starts noticing that two of the boys in her life have some interesting similarities. It doesn’t do her heart or mind much good. For now at least.

@xayti I promised the latest chapter tonight and I delivered! I had to listen to so.much.disney.music but I did it! 

Chapters: [1]
Read on AO3 or FF.Net

Chapter 2

Paris glowed in the night. A million golden lights sparkled for miles in all directions, the sky above was cloudless and a crescent moon smiled like a Cheshire cat. It was a lazy summer night. Everything seemed muted somehow. Below them fewer cars drove past, there were less people on the streets and even the Eiffel Tower itself seemed to shine sleepily. How utterly jarring it was for the city to be so at peace when its two saviours were anything but so.

Ladybug wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them tightly as she stared at the city before her without truly seeing it. She couldn’t stand to glance to her side and see Chat Noir’s curious, confused expression again. They’d come to the end of their patrol, resting atop the building of one of Paris’ many famous restaurants. Although they were fairly certain Hawkmoth wasn’t going to attack that night, both were reluctant to leave in their current state of…whatever the hell this was.

Awkward Ladybug decided with a sigh that barely passed whisper levels, but Chat had heard it and she fought not to cringe as the strangeness stretched on that’s what this is, awkward.

Truth be told, Marinette had the urge to run. Run fast and far from this new found attraction, deny she felt it. But the confrontational Ladybug side of her told her to face the situation somehow. Neither side of her won completely so she was stuck, frozen in a wordless limbo which seemed to expand into a painful eternity, all the while knowing she was attracted to Chat Noir and all the while having absolutely no clue what to do with the fact.

Chat, meanwhile, was having his own nervous breakdown. Ladybug had been acting strange throughout their entire patrol. He’d tried to keep things normal at first, flirting, joking, challenging her. Nothing worked. She seemed to withdraw, stammer, look away. He hadn’t caught her eye once since their encounter on the roof where they’d met for patrol. I was too weird earlier, I freaked her out. Damn it Agreste! He mentally kicked himself.

“H-hey, Ladybug,” Chat swallowed, leaning back on his hands and allowing his legs to swing over the edge of the roof. Hopefully he looked nonchalant, he certainly didn’t feel it “about earlier, when I was flirting. I’m sorry if I went too far. You know I’d never mean to upset you right?” His eyes flicked over to where she sat in order to gauge her reaction. Nothing. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. What was different this time? He’d flirted with her numerous times and never gotten this from her. Was it the way he said it? Was it the specific words? He reached over and placed a shy hand on her shoulder. Maybe he’d been too sincere, revealed too much of his heart.

Although it didn’t appear as though Ladybug reacted, inside a storm raged. Her lips thinned slightly as she fought a sudden urge to scream. Of course. Of course he’d be sweet and sincere in this situation. She’d been the one acting like a freak all evening, and he was the one saying sorry?! He was the one being kind, so very kind, so like- like-


Ladybug stood up, furious with herself for making the comparison, and marched away to stand at the corner of the building. She missed Chat standing up behind her. It wasn’t right, she thought. Just because some stupid, sexy underwear ad had made her compare the two in her mind, it didn’t mean Adrien and Chat Noir were the same person. It just meant that Adrien was good at his job and Chat was his usual playboy self. It was totally and completely horrible and unfair to compare the two. The similarities ended there…didn’t they?


Ladybug spun on her heel and, for the first time in hours, looked at Chat Noir. They stood about a metre apart, the crisp night air blowing around the two pillars that held the city of Paris upright. Both of them felt the breeze might topple them at any moment. Ladybug’s eyes trailed the smooth lines of Chat’s torso, his shoulders, his arms. Well he certainly had the same body type to Adrien, or very similar at least. The parts of Chat Noir’s face that lay uncovered radiated in the light of the city below them. Marinette sucked in a breath. He was gorgeous. Why had she never noticed that before?

Stop it brain- I don’t want to think of Chat that way. He’s a flirt, a playboy, he’s never ever going to be serious about me. Ladybug is a fantasy to him. The same way Adrien is a fantasy for me. It’s never going to happen.

“Chat…” She began, her voice strange and quiet, almost as though she’d forgotten how to use it.

“Yes?” Chat started, his body electrified by her voice. He wanted to close whatever weird chasm his blunder had caused, but was reluctant to move one step further. Especially considering, moments before, his hand on her shoulder had caused her to practically leap from his touch. He clenched his fist. More than anything, he didn’t want to lose her.

“Have you had- you know- lotsofgirlfriends?” Ladybug mumbled, staring back down at the ground and praying to all the gods in the known universe that she truly glad for the low light so that Chat couldn’t see her face matched her super-suit. God why was she asking this question? What point did she have to prove, really?

“What was that?” Ladybug glanced up again. Chat’s head was tilted to the side quizzically, one of his ears pointed down, the other up, and Ladybug had the strangest urge to touch them- to see if they responded to her touch.

“Do you,” She inhaled through her nose, her chest heaved “I mean have you had lots of girlfriends? Or you know, seen other girls?”

Chat blinked a few times, unsure of why she was asking such a question, but completely sure of his answer.


Ladybug’s eyes snapped to his, growing wide and impossibly blue. Her hair ruffled in the breeze, the ribbons from her twin tails fluttered almost as fast as her eyelashes, almost as fast as his heart. For perhaps the millionth time, Chat Noir wondered how anyone could be so beautiful.

“No?” Ladybug spluttered. Subconsciously, her head shook side to side in little jittering movements. That wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear at all! That couldn’t be right! No way had Chat Noir never dated anyone.

Chat deflated at her disbelief.

“Yeah, I know. Totally pathetic huh? Even the hero of Paris can’t get a girlfriend,” He chuckled humourlessly, reaching up to scratch the back of his head “I have kind of a busy life, even outside of being Chat, and my father…” he trailed off awkwardly, not wanting to seem like a bigger loser than he already was.

Ladybug stared, slack jawed.

“But you’re such a- such a- such a flirt!” She all but spat out the words. “You flirted with Marinette the time you teamed up with her. S-she told me…. a-and you’re always flirting with me!” Chat wanted to die right then and there. His partner felt much the same.

“I am not a flirt!” Chat spluttered somewhat indignant “I mean- I am with you- but the other me, I couldn’t ever do that. As for Marinette. Well it was the first time I’d ever teamed up with a civilian and I just wanted to make an impression. I guess I kind-of went overboard, god she didn’t think I was flirting with her right?” Great, this is just great. Both Ladybug and Marinette probably think I’m the biggest playboy in the world, and Plagg is going to rip me to shreds later. He could already hear Plagg’s mocking laughter. His fists clenched tighter. Never in his life had he wanted to travel back in time and smack his idiot fifteen-year-old self, there was a first time for everything it seemed.

Ladybug was silent.

“So, you’ve never dated anybody.” Chat winced, her words seemed so far away even though she herself was standing right in front of him.

“And you don’t really flirt with anyone either.” Ladybug’s heart was racing. There was a question on the tip of her tongue, one which she was unsure she wanted the answer to, so she decided to keep it to herself. At least for now. Guilt settled on her shoulders like disturbed dust. She was making him feel awkward. That much she could tell, so she decided to put his mind at rest “me neither.”

Chat stopped cringing. Now it was his turn to feel slack-jawed. He looked as though someone had beat him with his own baton.

“You’ve never had a boyfriend?”

“W-well it’s like you said!” Ladybug threw her arms up in the air in self-defence and Chat finally caught sight of her flushed cheeks, the slightly embarrassed craze in her eyes. He didn’t know why he found it so funny, he supposed it was the relief which came from the realisation that maybe she didn’t see him as a complete and utter loser after all. “Being Ladybug keeps me pretty darn busy, plus all my schoolwork and work-work to boot, plus how could I tell a boyfriend the reason I sneak out every night isn’t because I’m running around with other men or something, it’s to stop possessed people from destroying the city and- and- STOP LAUGHING CHAT!” Ladybug stomped her foot in frustration as she watched Chat Noir crease over in laughter, his eyes closed, his shoulders shook-

And in turn, so did her world.

Had she had her hand on her yo-yo, she would have dropped it.

That laugh…

No. She thought firmly even as visions of a three-year-old, overly romanticised memory filled her mind. An image of her and another blonde, standing in the rain.  He’s not Adrien and the more you compare the two, the worse you are. Chat was her partner and she decided that he deserved more respect than that. Why was she even bothering to compare the two? Because of the smoulder? Because she realised she was attracted to Chat and felt guilty because of her lingering feelings for Adrien? A boy she’d never had and never would? She needed to get a grip on herself.

“I’m sorry My Lady,” Chat gasped, stepping closer to her before he could stop himself “I just thought, technically you would be running around with another guy. Just not in the way your hypothetical partner would infer. Well… I suppose we could run around in that way,” his voice dropped low and Ladybug took a step backwards, one of her feet came dangerously close to the edge of the roof “that would certainly make this cat purr.”

Come on Marinette! Say something! It’s your turn to turn him down, it’s all part of the game.

Her mind screeched at her as she stood stock still, much the same way she had done at the beginning of their patrol. Nothing would respond. His eyes were burning her again. There it was. The smoulder. Her heartbeat seemed to triple its speed, her legs quaked beneath her.

It wasn’t a game anymore.

“I don’t think it would Chat,” She whispered as she bit her lip “you don’t know me- the other me as you called it. There’s another reason that I’ve never had a boyfriend. Boys don’t tend to really look at me, and if they do…I’m a let-down.” She turned her head to the side, scrunching her face in what Chat assumed was a bitter memory. Even though the city illuminated them in its warm honey-gold colours, the light no longer reached her eyes. Outside of battle, Chat wasn’t really a violent person, and Adrien was the complete opposite of confrontational. But in that moment, he really wanted to hit whoever made her look that way.

“I don’t buy it.”

Ladybug didn’t look back at him, but the shift of her shoulders indicated she was paying attention so he continued.

“Whatever guys you hang out with must be idiots, to not see what I see in you.” And he meant it. How could the girl underneath that mask have such little confidence in herself? How had he known Ladybug for three years and never noticed this? If he had, he would have spent every day telling her how amazing she was, in every way, until she believed it.

“Oh really Chaton?” Her voice wobbled as she shuddered, “and what do you see, except a girl in a mask who can save the day and banter with you? The other me could never live up to whatever fantasy you have in your head.” Why was she trying to convince him to not flirt with her? She tried to stop herself, but deep down she wanted him to fight for her, to prove that his affections were true even if they were just affections and not something more. That scared her more than anything.

Chat was having an almost out-of-body experience, one where he wondered how they’d even gotten to this point in the first place.

“It’s only a fantasy because I don’t know who the girl on the other side of that mask is, so I had to fill in the gaps somehow. And you know, I see far more than a girl in a mask who can save the day and banter with me,” he repeated her words, more tenderly than she had said them, and took a shy step towards her “I see a girl who likes sweet things more than savoury, who hates liars and will always do her best to do the right thing. A girl with a strong moral compass who always tries her best. I see someone smart, someone funny, I see a girl looking at me who’s brighter than all of the lights of this city combined. I see a girl with a furious, and sometimes scary temper, I see a girl who rushes into things headfirst which isn’t always a good thing. I see you. I admit…I don’t see all of you. But I want to. I want to know everything about you. Like your favourite colour, what your dreams are, if you- if you like me flirting or you secretly wish it would stop- I want to know all of that. I just don’t know where to start.”

Ladybug looked at her partner, looked at Chat Noir, and for the first time in three years she truly believed she was seeing the boy behind the mask. Behind the flirty lines and silly puns. Here stood a boy with a lopsided grin, with tenderness in his eyes, as though she were his gateway to heaven. And suddenly, like the thunder that had shaken her in the rain years ago, she was struck again. She stopped walking backwards, the little pebbles from the slab stones skittered as she tentatively stepped forward instead, towards her partner. What started as a metre gap, became mere inches.

“My favourite colour is pink,” She answered, feeling a smile stretch across her own face. Chat was frozen as she stepped closer to him. His smile wavered. She closed the gap. Heat began to creep up his neck, towards his ears, once again he wondered how they’d gotten here but at the same time, he found himself too involved in the moment to really care.

“I dream to work in fashion one day.” She placed a splayed hand on his chest, looking at the red against black. She’d always liked those two colours together. Black and red. Desire and Love. Night and Fire. Contrasting and complimenting, creating the perfect balance. Just like they did. She felt his chest grow tight and looked up. When had he gotten so tall? When had she grown so confident? It must be the mask. It must be him.

“And no, I don’t want you to stop flirting with me,” She finished and stood on tip toes, feeling something completely new stir in her chest at how wide his eyes were, at how adorable the blush on his cheek was as her lips brushed against it. His skin was as warm as his smile.

I guess I am this attracted to Chat Noir.

Just Sorry: A Mini Series (Chapter 9/??)

Warning: Following chapters will contain Smut, Explicit Language, Daddy Kink, Rough Sex, Angst etc.

Previous Chapter: 8

Word Count: 2,822

Silence filled the artist’s studio as time seem to be at a standstill. For nearly two hours you and Jinyoung stayed on the ground as he allowed your arms to wrap even tighter around his fragile frame. The episode he had a few hours ago was the worst one yet. He couldn’t even remember the last time the darkness had taken him this far into its core. Usually, it would only last a few minutes. A few minutes of an ominous voice in the back of his mind reminding him of what a failure he is. Reminding him that no matter how hard he tries he could never be good enough. Especially for someone like you.

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magicalanthrobats  asked:

My mother and I went for a walk earlier and the sweet little black kitten/young cat that we've had outside for a few months tried to follow us, we came back and found him in the road. We've all had breakdowns over it and I feel like it's my fault, I loved the little guy so much and I feel really empty right now but I don't know how to deal with it.

give yourself time to grieve, the death of an animal is always sad

anonymous asked:

Ladynoir AU in which a nightmare-based akuma traps Ladybug inside her worst nightmare which somehow involves Chat Noir getting hurt and when Chat wakes her up, she's still a little shaky and he comforts her and fluff ensues

(Here you go anon, I hope you enjoy this)

Even heroes can be afraid

What was Ladybug afraid of?

Anyone who has seen her in action would say nothing. She was too brave, too fierce, and too strong to be afraid of anything.

But there was fear in the young teen’s heart, something that deep inside would break her. 

An Akuma was attacking Paris. Ladybug and Chat noir quickly arrived on the scene.

They looked up at the Akuma. He was wearing a dark purple skin tight costume with matching cape, on his chest was what appeared to be a green monster with fangs. His boots and gloves were a slime green, and his eye mask was dark purple and shaped like a butterfly. He held a scepter with a Z at the top end of it. The people he attacked he put them in a strange purple sphere which caused them to fall asleep.

“So who exactly are you?” Chat noir asked the mysterious Akuma.

“I am the master of your nightmares, the king of dreams. You may call me the Scare mare!” Scare Mare called out.

Ladybug simply got into a battle stance.

“Free these people or you will face justice.” Ladybug said with confidence.

The Akuma looked at the girl and laughed.

“Ah yes, the fearless ladybug. You must be the bravest person in all of france. The things you fear must be truly intriguing.” Scare mare said as he lifted his scepter.

Faster than she could react, Scare mare hit Ladybug with a purple blast of energy from his scepter. Causing a purple sphere to form around the girl.

“My Lady!” Chat noir cried out in shock. He turned his attention back to the Akuma. “What did you do to her?”

“I simply helped her fall asleep.” The Akuma said as he vanished, trying to find more people to put to sleep.

Chat noir decided to go after the Akuma, it was the only way to save his friend. He had to get that scepter

Ladybug had found herself standing in a world of nothing but white space. She wasn’t in her costume, But she wasn’t in her usual clothes either. It was a mix, one side of her was in her usual clothes, the other in her ladybug costume. She looked around and saw a mirror to show this bizarre look to her.

“Where am I? and why am I wearing something like this?” She said into the void. No one responded to her words.

She began to to walk forward, as a way of finding a way out. She was looked forward and saw what appeared to be her friend Alya, who was standing not far off, her eyes looking at the floor.

Marinette hurried to her friend.

“Alya! Thank goodness, for a second I thought I was..”

“You liar.” The reddish brown haired girl said coldly, interrupting her friends sentence.

The blue haired teen stopped in her tracks, a few feet away from her friend.

“Alya… what are you talking about?” Marinette asked clearly confused by her friend’s accusation.

“You  had been Ladybug all of this time. And you never thought once to tell me? Was it some sort of sick joke!” Alya said as she looked at her friend, Alya was crying, and her fist trembled with rage. “Did you get a kick out watching me try to find out who you were?”

Marinette was stunned by her friend’s words. How did she find out? She was afraid something like this would happen.

“It isn’t like that… It was just you were so keen on finding out who Ladybug was.. I just didn’t…”

“You thought I would blab! Tell the whole world that My best friend was Ladybug? That I couldn’t keep a secret for the sake of a friend!?” Alya shouted. her words burned Marinette’s ears.

“No! I wanted to tell you, but with Hawkmoth… I just didn’t want you to get hurt.” marinette explained, feeling guilt towards her friends anguish.

Suddenly, Alya had begun to transform into the Akuma possessed version of herself, lady Wifi

“Well, you won’t have to worry about me getting hurt. Just worry about yourself, that is all you do anyway.” Lady wifi spat out, she began to vanish as a dark portal appeared underneath her feet taking her away from the Bluenette.

“Alya wait!” She cried out as her friend vanished from her sight.

Marinette felt her heartache as she saw her friend vanish.

She began walking forward more, hoping to find a way out of this horrible place. This is where she saw Adrien, her crush, standing not far away.

“Adrien?” She asked nervously.

“I heard about your feelings for me.” The blonde model said hollowly.

 Marinette found that the place was bringing her closer to him.

“I am not surprised by them, but I am just not interested.” Adrien said flatly.

Marinette felt her heart get squashed by the rejection.

“You can’t blame me for not being interested. Thousands of girls love me, each are 100 times more interesting then you are, or at the very least can say a sentence to me with out stuttering. You are just too shy, boring, and plain for me.” Adrien stated disgustingly casually. He turned away and Marinette fell to her knees.

“I-I am not like that… Adrien… please.” Marinette pleaded.

“Honestly, I would rather date Chloe.” Adrien said with a laugh. He then vanished from her sight.

Marinette refused to breakdown here. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real.

Despite her immense heartbreak, she kept moving. Nothing was going to stop her from finding a way out.

As she moved forward she saw her crime fighting partner. He was actually fighting someone.

Marinette ran over to him and saw that He was fighting the Akuma from earlier. He was having a bit of trouble.

She had to help him! She began running over to him, but the distance seemed farther and farther away. She kept hurrying but she wasn’t making any progress. But she could see her partner receiving hit after hit. She ran faster, but still didn’t move.

She watched as Chat noir was beaten senseless. Scare mare had picked the boy up by his hair. He then turned his attention to Marinette. He waved his hand and brought her close to him.

“He tried to come in and save you. The fool followed me into the one place I was invincible.” Scare mare said with a sinister cackle.

Marinette tried to attack, but the akuma waved his scepter and she was chained to the floor, unable to move.

“Oh no you don’t. You are going to watch what happens next.” Scare mare said with heinous glee.

He turned his scepter into a sharp sword. He made Chat noir levitate in the air. The cat was gasping for air and could hardly speak. He turned to Ladybug.

“I am sorry I failed you, My lady.I just want you to know. I…” Chat noir was interrupted by a sword through his chest.

That was the Moment Ladybug broke down!

“No!” Ladybug yells out in horror. She opened her eyes to see a certain cat hero looking down at her in worry.

“Are you alright My lady? You were in that sleep bubble for a while. I managed to catch that akuma.” Chat noir said as he showed a black butterfly in a jar. “Unfortunately, I can’t purify it without you. so would you do the honors.”

Ladybug was still shaking from everything that happened. It all felt so real.

She sat up and looked at the cat hero. She placed her hand on his chest, where she saw the blade enter. There wasn’t a single scratch on him.

Chat noir blushed at the sudden contact.

“My Lady?” He said in confusion. To add more to his confusion, the heroine embraced the cat in a hug. Causing his heart to beat like crazy.

“Don’t say anything. Just let me have this for a second.” Ladybug said softly, her voice shaky.

Chat noir didn’t say a word. he simple wrapped his arms around her and let her rest her head on his shoulder as tears of relief roll down her face.

Ladybug realized that out of all of her fears, losing this cat was the greatest of them all.

(I hope you enjoyed this one anon.)

The moment I knew: Part 1/2

TITLE: The moment I knew


AUTHOR : tomcuddlesfic


GENRE: angst / romance 

FIC SUMMARY: Tom doesn’t show up to OC’S birthday party.


AUTHORS NOTES/WARNINGS: I asked my followers to send in some prompts to get me started for tonight. :) Thank you to anyone who sent them in. Greatly appreciated. Tell me what you think.

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Send Invites Carefully

My Secret Santa was for @arcaneadagio. My prompt was “anything to do with TAU”. Here’s a thing.

The thing on Ao3

Inspired by this.

Pacifica Northwest sat on her couch and seethed. A piece of paper slowly crumpled and tore in her hands. The words “you are hereby invited…” were still legible at the top of it. How dare they? How dare they?

She took a deep breath and tried to flatten the paper back out, read through it again. It was still the same thing. An invitation for a high-society fundraiser for “Human Interests”, which she knew well enough was just a pretty way to say “Pro-Nat Dickery”. She had always thought Pro-Nat was an unnecessary prettification of Racist anyways. Who did they think she was? Just because she was rich? Just because her parents were big in the Pro-Nat community? Did supernatural rights activist mean nothing to them?

She was Pacifica fucking Northwest! She was one of the best rising actors in the business! Hell, she was award winning! She had fucking morals, and better yet, she had contacts. She was rich, she was powerful, she was gorgeous, and she was damn well a hell of a lot smarter than most people gave her credit for. She was also not a good person, and they would regret pissing her off. She slammed the paper down on the table with both hands and stood up. A malicious smile pulled at her lips. Where did she put her summoning circle?

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Redemption, Pt. 2

Part 1

Simon and Raphael: one year later

CoHF spoilers

He could see nothing in the darkness. He fumbled in his pocket for his witchlight, keeping a firm grip on his bow in his other hand. He retrieved the stone from his pocket, and the sudden glare of light burned his eyes and startled him so much that he immediately dropped it, the light winking out again.
And then the world was filled with noise as the demon reared up behind him, roaring. Simon had enough time to think, There you go, you lasted a whole year as a Shadowhunter. Well done, before something collided with his side, knocking him to the ground. Pain flared all down his left side and he expected to feel razor sharp teeth sink into his flesh. What he heard instead was the demon utter a second roar that sounded like a scream, before the sound abruptly cut off.

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End November 2016


Usually my house was packed on weekends, but for once I was alone. Alone to think about everything in my life, alone to listen to new tracks I was working one, alone to watch what I wanted to on the TV. Just me, myself, and I.

I had just gotten out of the shower and was sitting on my veranda, after a great workout on my bike, watching the few clouds float across the brilliant blue LA skies.

I heard my phone vibrate against one of the Adirondack chairs, and then start ringing. Thinking it was probably someone from my family as they usually called on the weekend, I smiled, but that quickly changed to a confused frown when I saw the name on the screen. Austin Swift was calling me.

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