i guess this is where i am right now mentally

okay guys bear with me it’s 3:02am as I write this. But I was imagining and let’s flashforward about 5 years into the future. Specifically let’s flashforward to Isak and Even’s wedding reception. The grooms are happy, Isak’s cheeks are red with champagne (”and fucking beer woohoo!”) and Eskild is sipping on a glass by the dance floor with a quiet sort of smile on his face. contemplative. maybe a little rueful. And Isak spots him and gracelessly untangles himself from Even’s octopus arms (he does try to retie Even’s bow tie before, but that’s a fail), so he steps off the dance floor and- 

runs right into a tall, brown haired guy with bright green eyes. “Juliannn” Isak will say, hiccuping a bit, but supremely pleased with literally everything. And the guy will laugh, but straighten Isak so he doesn’t topple over. “It’s Kristoffer actually. Julian was just- well it’s Kristoffer.” And isak will nod amiably and be like “krissstoffferrr!” Then Isak will grab Kristoffer’s arm and pull him with him, coming to a stop in front of Eskild. “Guru! Guru Eskild, this is Kristoffer-Not-Julian.” And Eskild will be kind of bewildered because what on earth was Isak doing, but he put his hand out and met Julian-Not-Kristoffer’s very green eyes. And Isak will be like “Kristoffer used to be like lowkey in love with me back when he was Julian.” And Kristoffer will duck his head and let out an embarrassed laugh and then Eskild will squeeze his hand (they were still grasped together whoops) and be like “it’s alright, i’m pretty sure Isak was once lowkey in love with me.”  And Isak will snort and be like, “Nei Even is the only one who hold my heart. I’m going to go find my husband now!” and stagger off.

And Kristoffer and Eskild will be left alone and Kristoffer will be like, “We’ve actually met once before at graduation. I was in Isak’s year?” And Eskild will nod, scratching behind his ear a bit because Kristoffer was young, but he was beautiful and had a nice deep voice and- 

“Do you want to get a drink?” Eskild will look up in alarm to Kristoffer’s sheepish grin, “I mean, you have a drink in hand but I could get you another one after whenever you’re done?” And Eskild will nod automatically and mentally smack himself because he is Eskild Fucking Tryggvason. So he will stand up straight and look Kristoffer in the eyes as he dumps the rest of his champagne in a potted plant and shrug, “I guess I need that drink right now.”

And that’s how it begins.

6. Things you said under the stars and in the grass

Note: Requested by @lilydalexf. These have been a lot of fun to write, so please feel free to request more!

“How much do you know about stars, Scully?”

I ask her as we lay side by side in the grass at Sky Meadow State Park. We’re on our way back to DC from a case in Southern Virginia, but I’d suggested stopping here until the evening traffic on the Beltway subsided. That was two hours ago. Two hours, two hot dogs, and two ice cream cones later, to be precise; the radius of DC hot dog stands is much larger than I’d imagined. Now, we’re content to lay next to each other, lazily digesting our dinners as we watch the sky transition from the orange glow of sunset to night’s dark mantle. Crickets and cicadas provide a pleasant soundtrack to the evening. The urge to return to the bustle of civilization seems as far away as the stars that currently hold our gaze.

“I know a little,” she says. “My father taught me a few of the stars and constellations used in celestial navigation.”

“Such as?”

“Well, for starters, there’s Polaris - the North Star. It’s more accurate than any compass, since it’s not subject to periodic variations of magnetic force.”

I scan the sky for what I vaguely recall as a Dipper-like outline of stars, but much to my embarrassment, I can’t locate it. “You already know this about me, Scully, but it’s worth repeating that I was a lousy Indian Guide as a kid,” I admit, somewhat sheepishly.

I can feel her body shake with laughter beside me. “Cassiopeia might be easier to locate. It looks like a poorly written letter ‘M.’ Look over to your left a bit.”

“Got it,” I say once I find it. “The queen whom the gods placed upside down in the sky as punishment for her vanity.” I may not know the constellations, but I am familiar with the myths that inspired them.

“It’s also a useful constellation in locating the North Star,” Scully adds, clearly unimpressed by my knowledge of Greek mythology. “If you bisect the second apex of the ‘M,’ the line points straight to it.”

“Ah, I see it, now.”

“The North Star will always be the same angle above the horizon as your latitude. Just make an outstretched fist, like this.” I see the silhouette of her arm as she holds it up in the air. I do the same with mine.

“That’s roughly ten degrees of latitude,” she says. “So where we are, here in Virginia…”

“We’re at about forty degrees, or just shy of four fists.” I find myself blurting out the answer like an overeager ten-year old being called on in class. “This knowledge could’ve come in handy that time we were lost in the Apalachicola Forest in Florida, you know.”

“We were in the woods, Mulder. It’s hard to see the stars when there are trees blocking the view. Besides, I was busy keeping you from going into shock.”

Touché, I think, smiling at the memory. I haven’t heard her this animated since the invisible man she autopsied a few months ago, and I’m loving every word.

“I’m sorry. You were saying?”

“Orion - which is close to the horizon this time of year - rises in the east and sets in the west. Orion’s belt practically draws a straight line for you. Mintaka, the westernmost star on the belt, will always rise and set within one degree of true east and true west.”

“My favorite constellation, though,” she says after a few moments of shared silence, “is Cetus. You can’t see it this time of year, though. Only in winter.”

“Cetus. The sea monster that threatened to eat Andromeda?”

“That’s one interpretation. I prefer to think of him as a whale.”

“Spoken like the daughter of a sea captain,” I say, wondering if she can detect the smile in my words. “I had no idea you were into stars, Scully.”

“It was a nice pastime that my dad and I shared. When he first taught me how to navigate by the stars, I was amazed by the notion that something millions of miles away could help you figure out where you were right here, on Earth.” She pauses. “I guess I still am.”

“And based on what you know, where are we now?”

I take her silence as evidence that she’s busy employing her mental sextant and superior sense of direction to determine our location. Her answer, though, is not what I expect.

“Well, I know that we’re out here in rural Virginia on a beautiful May evening. I know that I’m lying next to the World’s Worst Indian Guide, and together, we’re marveling at the wonders of a brilliant night sky. I also know that I’m happy, and have a strong suspicion that you are, too. Based on all of that, I’d say we’re right where we’re supposed to be.”

Wordlessly, I lean over and find her lips in the darkness. Her mouth tastes like mint chocolate. I feel her fingers run through my hair as my thumb traces tiny circles on her cheek. This level of intimacy is still terra incognita for us, but it feels so right - so natural - that I wonder what the hell took us so long to get here.

I slowly pull away and slide my arm beneath her until her head is resting in the crook of my shoulder.

“I think you’re right, Scully,” I say quietly, looking up at stars. “We’re right where we’re supposed to be.”


So I guess you guys have been wondering where I am or where the imagines are. I’ve been trying to find an easy way to say this. But, my mental state is..not the best right now. I feel like my depression has gotten severely worse. The more I go to school and see the same people do/say the same things to me as if i’ll never change. I probably won’t either. I feel like a piece of shit. Like I don’t have a purpose in life. And I don’t. I see it clear now. And i’m going to be straight up with you guys, i’m thinking about ending it soon. I can’t live with the feeling of being so worthless. I’m telling you guys because I have nobody to talk to…and I want help. I know not a lot of people are going to see this, or even care, but I just needed to get it off my chest..I’m sorry.

The Means War. Part Four.

Other MMFD Fanfics by me- HERE

This Means War. 

Set the summer after their first year of college is over. 
The gang get into a pranking war.


• Part One • Part Two • Part Three


This Means War. Part Four.


The phone ringing on my bedside table made me jump. Jesus christ.

I had been home for almost an hour. May of used all of the bolts and locks on every door when I got in.

Nobody else was home.

Which was good.

This meant no one would be here to witness me acting like a weirdo, standing by the window, hiding behind the net curtain looking up and down the road. On the look out for Chop.

I am pretty sure that Mrs Dewhurst is watching me. Fuck it.

She is dead weird.

Ever since Mum swapped our rooms around she had put the thickest net curtain I had ever seen in her bedroom window! Why she didn’t do that before I have no idea.

I had seen her tits too bloody much. Creeped me out.

“Hello?” Please don’t be Chop. Please.

“Rae!” Chlo’. Thank god “You’re home, good” she sounded a little out of breath. Has she just got home?

“Jesus” I sighed.

“That was fucking epic!”

“Yeah, but now what?” What was possibly going to happen next?

“Who fucking knows” she laughed before shouting so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear “OUCH!” If I get hearing damage from this I am going to sue her.

“WHAT?” Oh my god is he there? What do I do?

“Jesus fucking christ”

“Chloe, what is it?” I begged.

“There was a thorn in my belly button” Huh?

“You what?” Is she serious.

“A thorn, Rae!”

“How the fuck?” Does that even happen?

“May of run through someones garden to get home quicker” I could hear rustling in the background as she sighed “Or a few” she added.

“Holy shit” Is she serious?

“That fucking hurt” I bet it bloody did.

“Why didn’t you just go to your car?” She bloody drove me into town to put the photocopies up.

“Oh shit” she laughed “I keep forgetting I can drive it on me own now, bloody hell” Fucking idiot. “Oh my god, what if Chop finds it?”

“He won’t know its yours?” Right? “ Loads of people have that car” Don’t they?


“I would ask Finn to get it for yah but I don’t even know where he is right now” I hoped that him and Archie had not been caught by Chop.

“Why did Izzy run off?”

“No bloody idea, I wondered the same thing!” I told her “He is gunna think she had summet to do with it now!”

“Bloody hell” Chlo’ giggled “I really should go and get my car”

“Good luck with that” She is crazy to go out right now. He could be anywhere, doing anything.

“Come with me to get it?”

“Not bloody likely” I told her “Are you insane? Chop will be on the prowl!”

“Later?” she sounded way to hopeful.

“Yeah alright, I’ll meet yah there, in five years?”

“Come on Rae!” she pleaded “Well just get the car and then I’ll drive you straight home!”

“Fine, tomorrow” I gave in after a few seconds. “But if he is there, I am leaving”

“Well, I won’t be sticking around either now will I?”

“Its your car”

“You’re my best mate”

“Bloody hell”

“Love you” she laughed.


“Still don’t think this is a good idea” I told my best mate as we slowly walked through the car park.

It was eight in the fucking morning.

It was the summer holidays, I was meant to be sleeping in till after lunch. This was bullshit.

“Look, lets just get me car and then we can go and get some food from the chippie” she told me.

“You’re paying”

“Relax Rae, It is way to early for Chop to be out” I knew she was right, but apart of me knew that if he was planning his own back, he would not be opposed to an early, or I guess late start.

He could of been hanging around all night planning something. Bloody hell.

I need to stop worrying about it.

“Finn told you Chop spent all evening yesterday pulling the pictures down” This was true. 

Finn and Archie had been having a drink in the pub, waiting for anyone else to show up when Chop had barreled in through the doors.

Clutching black bin bags full of the posters.

He was pretty fucking angry apparently and had chased the two of them out and down the street when he relaised that they where in on it too.

He was definitely going to be getting everyone back now.

I wonder if he knows about the ones in the park, or the news agents by his place?

I was scared but also intrigued as to what he was going to do.

“Whats that smell?” Chloe asked as we turned the corner.

“Holy shit” I instantly stopped moving.

There was her red car alright. Covered in rubbish on the roof and bonnet. Oh my god is that moldy fruit?

“He won’t know which is yours” she mimicked what I had said yesterday “Holy shit he has filled it inside too”

“Well how the fuck was I to know he would know or would do this?” It smelt rough as fuck.

“How did he get inside?”

“Please tell me this is not your car” I pleaded “Tell me it just looks like yours?”

“My parents are going to go mental” Chloe screamed.

“Is everything alright?” Some man on the other side of the car park shouted over.

Chloe just screamed, stomped her foot and ignored him.

I didn’t know what to do so just mouthed ’run’ to him. Now he thinks I’m mental. Well I guess he is right, technically, but… oh fucking hell.

“Why did you open the door?” I was going to gag.

“Oh my god” Chloe turned to me with wide eyes “Where did he get this?”

“Close the door” I begged.


I pushed passed her and slammed the car door shut. I wasn’t quick enough though.

Bile was rising in my throat. I am going to be sick.

“Woah, Rae” I felt Chloe’s hand rubbing my back as sick literally poured out of my mouth. I hadn’t even had breakfast. Fucking hell.

“That smells worse than the nappies Jazz fills up”

“Bloody hell”

“What are you gunna do?” I asked opening my backpack and pulling out a bottle of water I had half drunk earlier. Thank god.

“I don’t know”

“Just buy a new car, set it on fire” I told her with a mouth full of water.


“That smell is never going to go away”

“It might?”

“Even you don’t bloody believe that”


“Do you hear that?” Chloe whispered while I chugged the last of the water. Damn, I need more. 

“What?” I looked around thinking that Chop had turned up. I was going to lock him in that car if he was. Bastard.

“Tick, tick” she whispered again.

“Are you ok?” I tapped her forehead “Have you hit your head?”

“Listen Rae” she pulled me closer to the smelliest car of all cars. Bloody Chop.

Tick, tick, tick, tick.

“You hear that right?” She asked with wide eyes.

What is that?

“Oh my god!” Chloe took a step to the left, pulling me with her as she painfully clutched my arm.

Her bloody finger nails were digging in. Fuck.

“What is it?”

“What if its a bomb?”

“Chop wouldn’t of put a bomb in your car!”

“What if he has though?”

“I…well…” He wouldn’t do anything to actually hurt anyone. Would he?

“Is it coming from the engine?” she lent forwards.

The ticking was still happening.

“Has it been doing that the whole time we have been here?”

“I don’t think so?” She looked like she was going to cry “I think it started after I opened the door”

“Bloody hell”

“What do we do? Should we call Finn or Archie?”

“Oi” I turned to her “If it is a bloody bomb we are not having my boyfriend getting blown up!”



“What do we do then?” she asked.

“You open the bonnet?” Thats where the ticking was coming from. Right?

“No, you do it” Fuck off.

“Its not my bloody car”

But.. I … You” she was stuttering.

Err.err.err” I pushed her forwards. So she was standing infront of the bonnet “Your car, you look”

“If I’m looking you can pop it open”

“What?” Nope.

“Its only fair Rae”

“None of this is bloody fair!” I told her “You want me” I pointed to my chest “To get into that bloody stinky car of yours to pop the bonnet open for you?”

“Unless you want to be the one who finds out what the hell is ticking I do yeah”

Why is this my life?

I knew I should of not agreed to come with her to get the bloody car in the first place.

If Finn had never bought that damn football to the park on Friday then none of this would be happening. This was all his fault. Fuck sake.

“Today Rae”

“Fine” Why did I have to do this “Give me your jacket” I pointed the the one tied around her waist.

“Why? Its new!” she clutched it. Jesus it is just a jacket Chlo’ not a baby!

“If you want me to have my head in that car then pass me the bloody jacket”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“Hold it over my mouth and nose” So I’m not sick again, because once was enough.

“You’re lucky you don’t wear makeup” she slowly passed me the white denim jacket “Cause I would not be letting you use it”

“Fucking hell”

I held it in one hand, balled up, much to my best mates protests.

Taking a few deep breaths before I opened the car door. Oh god I could still smell it.

“Quick Rae”

I was going as bloody quickly as I could. Cheeky bitch.

There was all sorts of rubbish over the seats and floor.

It literally looked like he had just emptied one of the rubbish bins from the high street in here. Bloody hell.

Leaning forward I had to stop myself from running away from this. It was so vile. Why?

I finally spotted the little black leaver under the sterring wheel.

Turned out this would be the biggest mistake we had made today, and it was only the bloody morning.

I had barley touched the thing before a massive crash came from outside of the car and I was thrown backwards. Into the headrest of the driver seat.

What the fuck was that?

Oww. My face.

“OH MY GOD!” I heard Chloe screaming.

What just happened?

It took me a few moments to realise that the airbag in the driving wheel had knocked me backwards. How?

“RAE!” I felt Chloes had on me “Are you ok?”

“Am I blind?” Why was everything so white?

“Its the airbag” I could feel her moving it out of my face “Fucking hell”

I literally fell backwards onto the concrete carpark floor, at Chloe’s feet.

My face really fucking hurt. Raising one hand to it I flinched as it touched my nose. Fuck.

“Your nose is bleeding” Chloe said. Holy fuck.


My face fucking hurt.

This is reminding me of those bloody cans that fell on my face, except it hurt way more. This was so much fucking worse.

“I think I have broken my nose” Blood was definatley pouring out.

“Fucking Chop”

I finally looked up at my friend and burst into laughter.

“Oh my god” that hurt.

“Jesus” she pressed the white jacket she had previously been so worried about me getting stuff on against my face “We need to get you to the hospital”



“Your covered in feathers”

“I know!”

“What happened” I think I might have concussion. I felt dizzy.

“The bonnet flew up and that green slime he used at your house and these bloody feathers burst out, I don’t know how he did that!” Jesus christ.

“He a crazy genius!”

Woah, I really do feel a little light headed.

“Rae, he took the engine” She told me, blowing a feather out of her mouth. She looks like a feather covered bogie.

If I wasn’t in so much pain I would be laughing my arse off right now.

“What?” I asked as my vision started to become blurry. What is happening?

“The engine has gone” How?

“Fucking Chop” he really was a genius.

“Rae, Rae” I heard my best mate call my name before everything went blank.


Niall’s chest hair is my favorite thing on earth.

And right now I’d like you all to enjoy it with me.

Let’s begin..

x Hanna niallschestrug and I have been drooling over this picture for what seems like days now. Let’s all just take a moment and look at the scruffy side view of his chest hair. Doesn’t it make you fingers itch to touch it? Gah.

Keep reading