i guess this counts as being productive

Perspectives

Thank you for your request and thank you so much for waiting!

Originally posted by grayground

CL drummed her fingers impatiently against the arm of her desk chair. They had been working for hours now with only laughable results and Gray could feel her eyes boring into him. He tried to tell himself that he was over thinking it, remind himself that she was actually a sweet person despite her stage persona, but he always found himself being extra cautious around her.

“What’s wrong with you today?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled.

He made a feeble attempt at concentrating. Even putting a hand to his headphones like he was listening for something. CL rolled her chair towards him, her legs practically brushing against his, so that she could study his face more closely.

“We can work on this another day,” she said. “When you’re feeling more up to it.”

She stood up to leave but Gray motioned for her to stay.

“I told you nothing’s wrong. I can do this.”

“Gray, I’ve seen you produce a beat from scratch in five minutes. You’ve been working on just the base for over an hour.”

He dejectedly tossed his headphones on his desk and buried his face in his hands. She was right. He’d come to work this week with the full intention of being productive but his mind kept wandering to all the things he’d been neglecting lately. His social life, his sleep, but most importantly you. What he wouldn’t give just to hear your laugh again.

CL wasn’t his first choice to talk to about what was really going on. But she was there and she was listening which counted for something.

“There’s someone I’ve been talking to lately. I haven’t seen her in a while and I guess I just, you know, miss her.”

“I knew it!”

She let out a short laugh as she relaxed back against the chair, waiting for him to continue.

“You knew it?”

“Just look at your office. It’s so clean. Cleaner than Jiyong’s at least,” she corrected herself when she saw the trashcan nearly overflowing with Soju bottles and food wrappers. “You don’t keep a lot of sentimental stuff around. Except for this one birthday card.” She picked it up to demonstrate. Gray held out his hand to take it from her but she ignored him. “I already read it while you were in the bathroom.”

“You went through my stuff?”

“Just the card. I had to know what made it so special.”

No wonder people are afraid of you, Gray thought as he snatched the card away from her and placed it carefully inside his desk drawer. He saw the guilt flicker across her face just before she looked away and he knew that this wasn’t her idea. Their friendship had never developed the same candidness that she had with the others.  Someone had put her up to this, most likely Simon, but that didn’t make him want to humor the conversation any further.

“So..,” she said hesitantly.

“So?”

“What are you going to do about it?”

He didn’t have an answer for her, not the one he knew she wanted to hear, so he turned his attention back to his monitor as if that could make the conversation dissipate. As if stopping her meant everyone would leave him to bury his intentions until he had time to fathom them out for himself. But that wasn’t possible. Not when the rest of the crew had clearly decided something needed to be done on his behalf.

“Ignoring things won’t solve your problems, Gray.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “But it won’t cause any either.”

“It already has. At least from what Simon tells me.”

Knew it.

“You can’t just string her along like she’s a toy,” she continued. “Both of you care about one another. That much is obvious even to me but there will come a point when knowing you care won’t be good enough. You need to say something or do you not think she’s worth it?”

“Of course she’s worth it!” He didn’t mean to yell but losing you was not something he liked thinking about. “Why do you think this is so hard for me?”

“But what are you so afraid of?”

“That I’ll say the wrong thing. That I’ve misinterpreted our friendship. That I’m asking too much of her too soon.”

“That’s you trying to rationalize being selfish.”

“Then what would you have me do?”

“Stop thinking and just do it. No planning. No speeches. And no clichéd song writing.” Seeing Gray cringe at the mention of song writing made CL smile a bit. She moved closer to him; taking hold of his hands before he could shy away from her. “Practice with me.”

It felt weird confessing to her. Gray tried his best to visualize you instead but his words came out stunted and awkward like lines he’d plagiarized from a poorly scripted movie. There was no trace of passion behind them. Only the distinct urge to get this over with as he rattled off words like “love” as if they meant nothing.

If only he hadn’t been too wrapped up in his own embarrassment to hear the shuffling of footsteps outside his office door. Jay’s voice saying your name a little too loudly to give him a warning. You standing frozen in the doorway, your arms laden with food for them all, as you listened to him confess to someone else.

He stood up the moment he noticed you. You let the bags of food fall to the floor before he could say anything as you turned on your heel to leave. By the time Gray called after you, you were already at the lobby. You couldn’t bring yourself to turn back and face him. Your strength was like paper but the one thing you were determined to do was not let him see you cry. You loved Gray and if that meant letting him be happy with someone else then so be it…

                                                     _______

Gray fumbled with the keypad to your apartment. He couldn’t stop his fingers from trembling despite the small wave of relief he felt when he heard the door lock click that you hadn’t changed to code already. None of this was supposed to have happened and the only thing he could think as he hurried through the doorway was that somehow he was going to make things right.

You heard the door and tried to go hide in your bedroom but Gray was quicker than you anticipated. He blocked your way before you could even leave the living room and you both stood there in stunned silence for a moment.

He noticed how you flinched when he said your name and his chest tightened. The betrayal you felt was evident in your eyes in the brief contact you managed to make with his. What was he putting you through? He didn’t even want to imagine the things that had been going through your mind in the time it took him to recover from you running out of the studio.

CL had been right. The things he’d left unsaid too long had caused more damage than he could have anticipated. But he wouldn’t let that happen next time because he didn’t want there to be a next time. He didn’t want to categorize his life from now on as before and after losing you.

Before he could think, Gray was crossing the room and wrapping his arms around the small of your back. His lips were on yours in a heartbeat as he pulled you against him. You were too stunned to reciprocate but he kept trying; his mouth gently imploring you to forgive him.

It was only when he felt your hands pushing against his chest that he realized he’d fucked up. That in his desperation he’d only succeeded in widening the rift between you. His grip tightened in response. In his head he was already scrambling to memorize the details of your face, the sound of his name in your voice, the way you fit in his arms because he knew when he let you go those memories would be all he was left with.

“What the hell, Gray?” You shouted when he finally let you go. Your voice was trembling. Hot tears were streaming down your face but you didn’t care if he saw them anymore.

“I love-”

“No,” you cut him off. “You don’t get to say that to me. Don’t you dare.”

He tried stepping closer to you but you backed away in response. He looked panicked like he was genuinely at a loss as to what to do next which made two of you.

“She doesn’t mean anything to me. She never has.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No you don’t understand,” he said, running his fingers through his hair in an exasperated gesture. “She was trying to help me. Ask her. Ask any of the guys and they’ll tell you the same thing. You’re all I think about. You’re the only one that makes me feel grounded. Whenever I picture my future it’s always me standing beside you because that’s all I want.”

Your face softened as he spoke. The Gray you’d become accustomed to was always so reserved. He only showed what he was feeling in a series of subtleties that’d you’d learned to pick up on. Even after everything that you’d seen, there was something about the way in which he spoke then, how raw his words sounded, that made you want to trust him.

“Please just say something. Anything. Even if it’s that you hate me.”

Gray let his head fall as he braced himself for your response.

“I could never hate you,” you whispered which made Gray perk his head back up.

“You believe me?”

“You’re a lot of things, Gray, but you’ve always been a terrible liar.” You gave him a half smile. This time you didn’t move away when he chanced another step towards you. “But I’m still royally pissed.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You had to go and have our first kiss while I’m angry with you.”

You both couldn’t help but laugh at the situation and you leaned into Gray’s embrace as you tried to wipe the tears from your cheeks. Gray kissed the top of your head, one of his hands rubbing your back to help soothe you, as a smile plastered his face. It was only when your breathing steadied that he broke the silence.

“Are you still mad at me?”

You nodded.

“In that case, I’m sorry again,” he said as he tilted your chin up and kissed you for the second time. Only this time you kissed him back.

Thoughts on the Nature of Rc Cells

(A: When two weird people meet, a theory might be born. Be careful with unwanted babies.)

The thing about Tokyo Ghoul is that Ishida hasn’t give us much information on the biology and science of half-ghouls. @absolutetimeandspace​ and I decide to work together and specifically look into this. What we’ve up come with is a weird (and hard to follow) crack theory. We’ll try to put down our thoughts as best we can.

-

In chapter 99 of TG we learn that Kaneki is Dr. Kanou’s greatest successful experiment. Fast forward to chapter 44 of TG:re he says that Kaneki unintentionally developed into a complete experiment, a growing perfection that surpasses the other Rize-based cases, going on to stand on equal footing vs. an Owl-based half-ghoul - one with an Rc count over 3 times higher than his. This made us question how and why that happened. 

We know that the main objective in using the Owl’s kakuhou was to create a powerful half-ghoul, yet why is Kaneki, who has an inferior kakuhou, still stronger than Takizawa? What makes Kaneki so special? (A: besides his tights?)

Other questions that came up along the way: Why do humans taste better to ghouls when ghouls are the ones with more Rc cells? Why do some humans taste and smell better than others?

The answers to all this might lie in the Rc count.

After looking into the key differences between the two breeds, we think that the Rc level and Rc ‘type’ (quality + age) is playing a big role on a half-ghoul’s strength. Our theory states that the lower the human’s starting Rc count, the stronger the resulting half-ghoul, while the higher it is the weaker and more likely the half-ghoul surgery will fail.

[ TG chapter 29 ]

Before jumping into everything we need to remember that the normal Rc count for a healthy human ranges from 200 - 500, compared to 1000 - 8000 for ghouls.


  • Rc Count + Quantity

Thankfully Ishida provided us with the Rc counts before and after the surgeries for most half-ghouls.

[ TG:re chapter 44 ]  [ TG:re chapter 2 ]

K-Eater Kaneki Ken : 170 -> 911 -> ??? -> 2753
W-Eater Nashiro Yasuhisa : 189 -> 3789
B-Eater Kurona Yasuhisa : 191 -> 4110
T-Owl Takizawa Seidou : 211.2 -> 7188.7

[ TG chapter 30 ]
While Kaneki assumed that his count may be the same level as a human’s, we now know that during this time the number was at 911.
This is much too high for a human, but also too low for a ghoul.

Coincidentally all of these people share the same trait: A below average Rc count. As a human, Takizawa barely staying in the normal range, while the twins and Kaneki’s were too low to even be considered healthy levels for any human.

The fact that these 4 successfully transitioned into half-ghouls might have something to do with the surgery working better for individuals with lower Rc levels, while higher Rc runs the risk of the subjects becoming floppies (such as Amon) and/or developing the “nameless” syndrome seen in Dr. Kanou’s failed experiments.


  • Rc Quality

[ TG:re chapter 43 ]
Creativity + Intelligence = kagune shape 
Quality + Quantity = kagune size
All of these are factored in to equal a ghoul’s strength and potential.

Using the Rc count we can guess the quality of a human’s Rc cells. This is important in predicting the resulting half-ghoul’s strength since a lower Rc indicates higher Rc quality.

For example, logically speaking if the average human body were to put aside 500 calories for Rc production and you were to take three humans - one producing low quality Rc cells, the second normal quality, and the last the highest - you’ll see that the Rc count will continue to decrease as quality increases. (N: I mean it’s only fair.)

This would have to do with higher quality Rc cells requiring more energy for production.

Diagram is hypothetical and is only being used to illustrate that higher quality Rc needs more energy per cell to produce.


  • Rc Production in Half-ghouls

Now going back to Kaneki and why he’s the special little hot shit that he is.  

We know that his count was 170 while human, meaning he has the highest quality Rc that we’ve seen so far. This is still relevant information for after the surgery because half-ghouls should be producing their own Rc cells just like they did as humans.

The misunderstanding that they lose this ability may come from people being under the impression that transitioning from human to half-ghoul will simply change the body to having all of the same characteristics of a ghoul’s. The reason why this is incorrect is because the presence of a kakuhou does not directly result in the loss of Rc production, rather ghouls are born without the necessary functions required to make their own Rc cells. Half-ghouls, on the other hand, should have no issue with an already built in system.

This means that every human turned ghoul is still producing a small amount of their own Rc (does not mean they can live off that supply, as a ghoul’s body has a faster metabolism, immune system, and regeneration, which requires a massive amount of energy to maintain). 

Kaneki’s constant supply of new high quality Rc cells are being stored in the kakuhou, and as a result increasing the quantity of the high quality Rc cells (note Eto saying having both results in a powerful kagune). This is something that normal ghouls, who are unable to produce their own Rc, will never be able to obtain. A ghoul’s Rc count is built up on old recycled Rc cells from humans, basically diminishing the quality to average or poor.


  • Eto + Natural Half-ghouls

As for Eto (a born half-ghoul) and the Quinx (not ghoul or half-ghoul) I can’t say it applies to them in the same way.

However since we know more about Eto, this being her ability to eat human food and her massive amount of quality Rc cells, we can guess that she was born with the ability to efficiently produce enough Rc to sustain her ghoul body (this is based on tumblr’s assumption that her diet is mostly ghoul/human free).

This puts her at a huge advantage over the ghouls, Quinx, and artificial half-ghouls. Even if her organs produced low or normal quality Rc, the quality would still be better than any ghoul’s and at a larger quantity than any half-ghoul’s.

This means that while artificial half-ghouls are superior to ghouls, natural half-ghouls are the ones at the top of the food chain.

Now if Eto has both high quality Rc along with the quantity, then that’s a bit terrifying isn’t it?


  • Why do humans taste better to ghouls when ghouls are the ones with more Rc cells?

I’m sure by this point it’s self explanatory why humans taste yummy while ghouls taste like shit.

Ghouls are naturally attracted to humans because of their newly made Rc (i.e. fresh organic food)(N: Fresh Rc is happy Rc!), and are disgusted by other ghouls because of their recycled Rc supply (i.e. rotten or stale food), because no matter how large the quantity, gross food will still taste gross. 

Kaneki being the literature major that he is, described in detail what a ghoul tastes like after taking his first bite.

[ TG chapter 64 ]
Basically rotten food.

This also answers the question why some humans taste better than others, and generally why the seniors have a much blander taste. Same story for half-ghouls and why Kaneki specifically is the best thing Tsukiyama has ever experienced (N: all that fresh high quality Rc mmmm).

-

NOTES: 

That’s basically it. There was a lot more content involving RoS, Rc Scan Gates, human Rc types, Rize, Shirazu etc. but I decided to exclude it until I have better confirmation. 

Funny I say that when this is crack theory post…

Buuut one thing I can’t help but briefly mention is that Shirazu might have physical problems in the future (not RoS), and the fact that the cage around his kagune just broke in ch 53 just made it so much more likely. gl boi.

-

Anyways thanks to @absolutetimeandspace for working with me on this, we became such good buddies in the process :’)

6

When does Gotham take place?  Although Gotham’s producers have stated that it takes place in an undefined era, there are some clues that suggest when that might be. In the top two gifs from s1e14 we see Selina eating a cereal called “Fruit Brute”, which was originally produced from 1974-1982; and then briefly re-released in 2013.

Then, in s1e16, Harvey and Jim question Alphonse Grayson and Owen Lloyd about their family feud. The feud started before World War I, which began in July, 1914. If we accept the standard definition of a generation as 20-25 years, and count forward from 1914, that places the date between 1974-1989, which overlaps with the original production of Fruit Brute. Gotham, then would be taking place during the mid 70s to the early 80s.

This would mean that Jim earned the distinction of being a “War Hero” in Vietnam. Of course, since this is an alternate universe, who knows for sure? But it’s fun to guess!

Thank you to @rhavewellyarnbag for spotting the Fruit Brute!

Now for another chapter in: Hey Representation Actually Matters!

I live in an area with a mostly Mexican population. My neighbors all speak Spanish and all businesses around here require to have at least one bilingual employee.

By my apartment there’s a Target, Wal*Mart, Best Buy, etc. The one I visit the most is Target due to it’s coupon system, how helpful it’s employees are, it’s stock, and the fact that it’s just five minutes from my home.

A couple of Mondays ago I visited my Target and strolled by electronics because why not. There’s an advert for Book of Life to be released on DVD the next day SO I decide to swing on by on Tuesday after class. This is the evening time and know what I found? Nothing. Nearly every shelf and cardboard display dedicated to The Book of Life was completely empty. So I think this is just an error and that they haven’t put up the movies yet. I ask an employee and sure enough, just about every copy they put out on the floor was sold.

Fast-forward to this week and I find out Target is having a big sale on DVDs. My husband and I swing by to see if there’s anything we want when it’s really your standard fair. That’s when we see the shelves for Book of Life and, lo and behold, they’re all just as empty. Even the huge cardboard stand up front has been picked clean and even the Blu-Ray editions are gone.

And I thought maybe it was just Target’s stock but hey you know what? The exact same deal happened at the Wal*Mart down the street.

Every spot reserved for the film was empty. I managed to find one lone Blu-Ray copy hidden behind the troves of Fury that still lined the walls.

Now, I know this is not indicative of sales across the US or even across Southern California, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen a film become this scarce in my area. I know blockbusters are usually better stocked, but even then the displays ever hardly had a dent in them.

I guess it just warms my cynical old heart to see the response the Mexican community has had with the film and to see it being bought in such numbers by the group so commonly ignored and/or put in a negative light. And again, I know it doesn’t count towards the overall reception of the film, but damn if it doesn’t make a good case for more proper representation in films.

27.11.15 | 3/40 days of productivity
didn’t do much today since i’ve finally hauled my lazy ass out of the house to (finally) breathe in some fresh air. i guess looking through my proposal and research material to start outlining my essay is counted as being productive??? right???? hahaha side note: can’t believe i’m the only one doing the music essay in my cohort, now i’m soooo stressed out meeting the deadline since i’ll be the only student the teacher’s gonna focus on ughhhhhh