i guess that's the word

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this is the first page of my bos! i finally got started on it thanks to @witches-ofcolor arranging this little event <3 thank you so much!
it’s a handmade book i bought three years ago in berlin and ive been saving it for something special like a book of shadows! 

- edit: lmfao i spelt “witch” wrong im ded i might redo this page

goodbye (kind of)

Don’t get me wrong I’ve been fed up with the phandom since I joined this god awful place. I’m sure people have wanted me to leave anyway, so here you go.

I wonder what dan and phil really think of you all. Surely they must know all the dumb and disrespectful shit that goes on if they lurk as much as they say they do. Then again, i wonder… if they know how bad it is here, why haven’t they said anything? Why can’t they put their audience in check? I know everything is mostly light hearted and fun but it’s not fun for me anymore. The only people who think the phandom is a peaceful utopia are the ones causing the problems. Some people are too blind to see it and some people might even try to argue with me on this post. Go ahead, I’ll leave the phandom with a fight. One last round for all the wonderful times.

You don’t ship phan? You’re homophobic and you don’t belong here. Also you just want dan to yourself and youre labeling him as straight and (if you’re lgbt+) you’re faking your own sexuality to prove a point.

You write dan/phil x reader? You’re a cringey laughing stock. You’re also homophobic. You’re also a straight white girl.

It doesn’t help that dan and phil subtly use Phan™ to make their income. There’s nothing wrong with that, but i feel like it’s driven some people in the phandom to be entitled and rude and put them on a high horse. It just normalises their invasive behavior. It feeds their fantasies to the point where they become tinhats instead of shippers. To be honest, im fucking tired of it. Not of dan and phil per se, of their audience for being so dimwitted they can’t see the obvious fan service. Look on the bright side: two already successful, rich men are being more successful and rich.

Never have I met an audience more entitled and more bratty than this one. I can’t help but feel like dan and phil did have something to do with this, seeing as they never addressed the problems within their community. (I mean, dan tried to in 2012, but that year doesn’t exist!1!!1 meanwhile 2009 is hard hitting proof. seriously get over yourself.) It’s hard work, and I’m sure in Dan’s cynical eyes theres nothing that can be done about it, but it is possible. Look at jacksepticeye’s community. When do you ever hear about drama going on there? Do you see any type of hierarchy going on there? Now look at that phandom. I mean, throwing a fit because they slept on separate floors on tour?? Get over yourself. Accusing them of queerbaiting because they act like actual friends and roommates on camera?? Come ON. Sending hate to their friends? Are you really going to stoop that low, all in the name of a fictional ship? Even worse, when popular blogs send their followers on rampages when someone goes against the norm (the norm being shipping phan and constantly overanalyzing their every move.) It’s ridiculous.

Anyway, I could go on forever about the bad stuff in this place. I’d like to mention some of the good as well. I’ve come across plenty of wonderful people who have complimented me on my writing, people who have backed me up in the ‘not-shipping-phan’ thing. I technically got in my first relationship through this fandom. I have internet friends that I never want to let go of. I’ll always remember the people who sent me kind words when I went on hiatus.

Dan and Phil are a significant part of my life. They’ve gotten me through some tough shit, they’ve made me smile. I looked at their first book on the day it was released and was glad i didn’t kill myself. Dan made me feel less alone and more comfortable with my cynicism. Phil has calmed me and made me smile when i felt like the crying would never end.

But at the same time, they’re so aggravating! Why can’t they tell their audience to cool it? Sure, people will send sarcastically rude things to Dan and everyone will laugh and have a good time. But what about when people stalk their personal lives? What if either of them has a significant other and the phandom goes into a frenzy?

That’s honestly what’s kept me here for this long. There has always been a part of me that just hopes that they’ll acknowledge phan, or come forward with a significant other. I wanted to stick around to see that. But I’ve taken the phandom’s shit for a bit too long, and I’ve seen the phandom tear my friends to pieces. I cant take it anymore.

Sidenote: this blog isn’t going to deactivate. I’ll leave it up solely for the people who read my writing (if y'all are still out there lmao.) And I’ll probably talk about me and my girlfriend here, should i find the need. I probably won’t reblog Dan and Phil anymore. Not that it matters, I’ve been losing followers anyway. If anyone cares here are my main, jse, and aesthetic blogs. You can find me there.

Anyway congratu-fucking-lations, phannies. You win.

[TRANSLATION] 170219 pledis_17jp’s Twitter Update

神戸最終日!!!
元気にいこう!!!
#Saythename #SEVENTEEN

It’s the last day in Kobe!!!
Let’s be fine!!!
#Saythename #SEVENTEEN

credit: erin @ fyperformanceunit
© credit if taken out!

you know what I really like about contemporary Japanese Residential architecture? Some of it is like “fuck the outside, my house is more black than my soul, fuck windows in the front” *angry cat noises*  and then , some of it is like “what about a facade, but it’s like cheese , yea with them holes in it, made out of the most transparant construction materials u own,  please come in mi casa su casa u know”

Me: I’m gonna be super productive today and talk to people and do chores and go out into society and hey maybe I’ll even read or engage in my interests

Autistic Burnout: ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ

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Some more sparkly flower crown edits, this time of @kapitan5o 

Love you and your content so much! Keep being aesthetic goals dear! ❤️

On writing
  • Me: Oh I know I'll just write a thing for this trashy pairing haha how fun I'll just make it a straightforward one-shot shippy thing that I don't need to take seriously.
  • Me: *Writes several thousand words of set-up* okay I guess that's fine...
  • Me: *Plans layers of complicated emotional subtext* okay I guess we can have some of that *Writes several more thousand words before getting past the first real shipping scene* uhhhh okay so guess it'll be chaptered...
  • Me: *Plans entire rest of story and realises it's already out of control* goddamit me why are you like this.
Peeps! My Husband Wrote a Hannigram Drabble. Whuuut?!

He betas a lot of my AO3 stuff, so I guess he had read enough and decided to take a stab at it. 

Originally posted by oh-dr-lecter

As the day’s waning brilliance showered the bedroom of the chateau in prismatic fractures, broken haphazardly by the chiseled antique glass window, that golden light folded across Hannibal’s muscular form in perfect chiaroscuro. His gaze was intent upon his darling boy, lazily sprawled across the mahogany four-poster.  

Will drank in the visual of his lover’s body, that succulent splendor, and ached to draw the back of his fingers along those perfect lines, tracing muscles with the faint touch of his nails, disbelieving the reality of it all, feeling it all just too perfect to be true and waiting for the touch, the touch that would prove it real.

- By Mr. WrathoftheStag

I wanted you to ask me, “How was your day?”

That’s all I wanted.

Just the little things.

—  Just the little things. // lily rose.
Dropped Once Important OUAT Plot Device Objects

I’m trying to remember them all, help me out here.

- Murder Shovel (season 1)

- Magic Compass (season 2)

- Storybrooke Self-Destruct Gem (season 2)

- Zelena Power Pendant (season 3)

- Will Scarlet (season 4) 

- Rumple Death Countdown Rose (season 5)

- Magic Mushroom (season 5)

- Olympian Crystal Dildo (season 5)

- Magic Scissors (season 6)

@tereziweek day 4: au day

i tend toward humanstuck, so take a bloodswap 

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@agentlacey-universe
(Sorry for taking so long to answer these, they made me really happy and I didn’t know how to respond aaa)

To the shy anon: Just go for it! The undertum community is really kind and supportive, you should have no problems fitting in!

Thank you all so much for enjoying my art and sticking with me :,)

First Impressions This Season

So it’s a week into this season and every show has had at least one episode now (I think). I’ll go through what I’ve watched and say what I think so far. I guess spoilers for episode 1, but are those really spoilers?

Gabriel Dropout

The premise is that after graduating angel or demon school said angels or demons go to earth and go to school there so that they can learn to be proper angels or proper demons. The main character is a decidedly unangelic angle that gets hooked on online games and becomes a shut in, while the rest of the cast is filled in with characters equally ill suited to their roles. This looks pretty entertaining and it’s basically Doga Kobo doing what they do best. It doesn’t seem like a show that I’m going to remember down the road, but it’s a nice moe SoL to watch. The humor has been pretty good too, so I’ve got decent expectations from it. 

Originally posted by k-ui

Little Witch Academia

I’m super excited for LWA and the first episode was great. The original OVA that was kick started was fantastic and set this all in motion, so that alone is kind of cool to see. I’d call the show a moe SoL, but it’s really a Trigger SoL with moe elements. Is it moe? I don’t even know lol, but I’ve got high expectations for it and I don’t think Trigger is going to let me down. They are good at the over the top crazy, and I think that they can do a great over the top wacky magical shenanigans show. Definitely high hopes for this show. 

Originally posted by lifefibersync

Kono Subarashii no Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! 2 (Konosuba s2)

That mouthful of a title aside, it’s more konosuba. The animation seems like it’s even more “quality” than last season, but that doesn’t bother me too much. The kinda cobbled together sometimes almost bad animation kinda adds to the show. But there is probably a limit to that and I hope they don’t find it lol. The Star Wars credits were a hilarious way to start off this season, and I hope that it continues to amuse me as much as it has already. I’ve got decent expectations of this show, but I’m not holding out for it to be incredible. 

Originally posted by jyoshikausei

Demi-chan wa Katatirai 

The premise of this show is that there are demi humans in the world and the teacher of this school is interested in learning more about them by interviewing them. Naturally a bunch of them end up at his school so this gets to happen. I was a little concerned about the possible weird teacher-student relationships that this sort of show can get into, but after two episodes I don’t think it will be like that at all. The cast seems pretty alright, with Hikari and the teacher being great characters. I’ll watch this show just for Hikari’s antics even if it somehow gets worse. I don’t think this will be an amazing show, but once again a nice cute SoL to fill the time. 

Originally posted by ookazaki

Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon

Sort of an unexpected title for Kyoani to be adapting, but it seems to be working so far. The premise is that Tohru (the dragon) becomes Kobayashi’s maid because on a drunken adventure Kobayashi pulled a holy sword out of her and then said she could stay with her. I picked up the first volume of the manga awhile back because buy two get one free sales make me do silly things and I really enjoyed it. There is a nice amount of good jokes and then some just funny moments with Tohru being a dragon and doing dragon things. I expect this to keep me thoroughly entertained, but it probably won’t be one of Kyoani’s truly marvelous show. Gonna be hard to follow Hibike S2 lol. 

Originally posted by aidoru-ojisan

So ya, that’s what I’ve watched for this season. I don’t know if I’ll really get around to anything else this season, but these at least all look like they’ll be fine watches. I have the most hope and expectations from Little Witch Academia, and I’m particularly excited that it is 2 cour. 

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This is kinda more personal than normal. 

Anyway, whatever. If sharing personal stuff will help someone else, I’ll take the embarrassment. 

I have panic attacks sometimes. They sneak up on me. I usually have a good idea of how to handle them, but of course, no one is perfect. 

One of the things that helps avoid putting myself down for it is imagining my panic as a child. It’s a bit in the way of my work life sometimes, because I can’t leave it home, or in a kindergarten. It sometimes behaves, and sometimes is difficult but it is not bad. It’s just… itself. 

Mental health is something everyone deals with at some point in their lives. It’s alright to find it hard to handle. But you don’t have to hate yourself for it either. Everyone can find their own best coping mechanism. 

I guess the more fitting word your thinking of is an ‘unseperatable team’. Not saying that you three are weak, not by a long shot. But in the open like that, it’s best to keep the wording of your sentences as accurate as you can to avoid confusion, especially when force is involved. Trust me, I’m saying this to prevent you from being beaten since I deal with things like that on sometimes a daily basis. Take it as an advice from a guardian.