i guess it is divergent as well

4

we still don’t know a lot about keith actually… how did he meet shiro? how did he become an orphan?? how was his childhood? it’s a bit au-ish since we’ll probably know it soon… it’s canon divergence i guess? well any excuse is okay to make a keith centered comic

also their relationship is NOT romantic. this is just a story about a kid trying to find himself or smth. i would love to draw what happens next but i’m not sure if i have the skills nor the patience

Without You

***Disclaimer*** There is a small part in Tris’ POV, but most of it is copied and pasted from the book, I added few of my own lines in there, so no copyright infringment was intended!

Warnings: Death, and kind of angsty, sorry!

Last day of initiation, the day I find out my ranking, my fate in Dauntless. But first, I’ll have to go through my fear landscape; I wait outside with my fellow initiates, watching them go in to the room one by one.

“Y/N!” I finally hear, I get a few good lucks before walking into the room, my boyfriend Eric come up to me with the syringe. We started dating one month after initiation started, and have been dating for 4 months now. And yes, I am in love with him, but I haven’t been able to build up the courage to tell him, what if he doesn’t feel the same?

I snap out of my thoughts as Eric begins to speak, “I’m going to inject you with this serum Y/N, and you’re gonna go through all of your fears, the leaders will see what you see, and everyone else will only see your reactions,” his face wears the same hard expression as it does when he’s near any of the other initiates, but I know it’s just a mask, he proves this further when he places his hand in my shoulder and whispers, “Be brave Y/N.”

He then injects me, one by one I go through all of my fears, I only have eight, the second lowest number within my group of initiates, Tris had the lowest, 7.

I get out of my landscape in 17 minutes and Eric meets me at the back door of the landscape room, “That was amazing Y/N! You really do belong here,” He gives a small smile, but hardens his expression almost immediately.

“Thanks Eric!” I smile back, resisting every urge to kiss him.

“I can’t believe that losing me is one of your fears,” he says, refer to the fear where I was forced to kill my loved ones.
“Well, maybe because I l-” I stop myself before I say it. Shit.

“You what…?” He asks quickly.

“Because I-I would never want to kill a person who has never wronged me,” I say confidently, trying to cover my mistake. Eric didn’t believe me but just as he was about to say something Max called him back.

“I’ll see you in the cafeteria for the rankings,” he quickly says as he leaves.

I meet my three best friends Christina, Will, and Tris in the dorm rooms; we still have two hours before we find out what our rankings are.

“Can you believe this will be our last night in this room,” Christina says.

“Thank God for that,” I laugh. I could not wait to get out of this disgusting dorm room, and get my own apartment.

“Are you guys scared for ranks?” Will asks.

“A little, I just hope I don’t have to work on the fence,” I say, “I wouldn’t want to stay away from the compound for weeks on end.”

“Same,” Christina groans.

We sitting in the dorm room, watching as the rest of transfers make their way back from their own landscapes, until Four finally comes in to tell us that it was time for our results.

We walked into the cafeteria with the Dauntless-born initiates; some of us wore excited looks on our faces, whereas others looked nervous as hell.  

Max gives a speech and then the ranks are posted. Where is it? Where is my name? I’m cut! Shit I’ve been cut! I scan the bottom of the board and I don’t see it, so I slowly work my way up, then I see it:

1. Tris

2. Uriah

3. Y/N

What?! I got third place! Third place! I can’t help myself from jumping and squealing a little as the Dauntless crowd bursts into claps and cheers.

I look around to congratulate my friends, but all I find is Christina kissing Will and Tris kissing Four. No matter how happy I may feel for them, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy; why can’t my relationship with Eric be so loving and open like them?

I see Eric making his way toward the doors of the cafeteria and he gestures for me to follow. I quickly make my way after him.

“I got third place! I can’t believe it!” I gush as soon as we’re out of earshot.

“Congratulations Y/N,” Eric says smiling. I’m the only one who ever gets to see Eric like this, so whenever he smiles it only makes me happier. I lean up and kiss him.

This is the moment that I realize that I have to tell him, I can no longer keep this secret from him. I love him way too much; I can’t keep it in any longer. I’m Divergent.

“Eric, I have to tell you something,” Maybe this isn’t the right place.

“I have to tell you something too,” He says, “But you go first.”

“No, I can’t here. Can we meet on the roof early in the morning, before most people wake up?” He hesitates, as if he is about to say something, but the he just nods, “What did you want to tell me?”

“I just wanted to say that, Y/N, I-I lo-” He pauses.

“You what?” I look up at him, my heart racing. Just say it, please.

“That I-” He suddenly looks like he has changed his mind about something and he quickly says, “I am so proud of you Y/N.”

“Oh,” I look away from him, I feel so stupid, he wasn’t about to confess anything. Stupid girl.

“I should get back,” Eric says, “You should go have dinner now. I’ll see you soon.”

“Uh, yeah, bye,” I say. Eric turns to leave, but he suddenly turns back around and gives me a quickly peck on the lips and looks me deeply in the eyes, almost as if he is apologizing for something, then he walks away, leaving me a little sad and very confused.


Dinner had just ended and we had been informed that all of Dauntless would be getting some sort of needle. Eric walks up to me with a syringe in his hand, “What is it for? Why do we need to get these?”

“It’s a precautionary tracking device that is being injected into all the members of our faction,” Eric explains, I simply nod my head and turn it, exposing my neck to Eric for easy access. He brushes a few strands of hair off, and injects the needle, shooting me another apologetic look. What’s his deal?

“Alright Y/N, you should probably head to the dorms, you’re in for a long day tomorrow,” He says.

“I’ll see you on the roof I guess,” I sigh.

He hesitates once again before saying, “Y-yeah, I’ll meet you there.”


I feel someone shake my shoulders, “Wake up Y/N!”

“Tris?” I whisper, I see my fellow initiates all getting ready, they look almost like drones, “What’s going on?”

“It’s a simulation,” she sound worried.

“We just have to act like we’re under it as well. Do whatever they do I guess,” I say. Tris nods in agreement, and we head out with everyone else, following their lead.

We all stand in rows, Tris is next to me and Will is in front, when I hear someone questioning the leaders about what was going on. I see him out of the corner of my eye, a confused looking Dauntless member, and more importantly a Divergent. Max smiles at him, a sickly smile, then shoots him right in the head. I keep myself from jumping at the sound of the gun, telling myself that I’m supposed to be under a simulation.

Then I see Eric making his way towards me, away from the sight of the rest of the leaders, my heart speeds up and I focus my eyes straight ahead. He steps directly in fronts of me, filling the gap between me and Will. He looks me in the eyes, and I try to keep my expression neutral. He finally reaches down and grabs my hands in his, “This is literally the worst time to be saying this, I know you can hear me, and once you’re out of this sim I know you’ll recall this, I’m so fucking sorry this had to happen Y/N. But I don’t know what the result of this is going to be, I had to tell you now in case I never get the chance after this. I love you.”

He said it. He finally fucking said it! I desperately will myself to not respond and keep my dead expression. He literally told me at the worst time, I can’t even tell him that I love him back, if I do I’ll be fucking killed. Oh fuck you Eric!

He takes a deep breath and turns to walk away. I almost, almost, follow him, but Tris quickly grabs my hand, and I see her shake her head from the corner of my eye, so I stop myself.

We all get on the train and make our way to Abnegation.


I roam one of the alleys of the Abnegation faction, there is barely anyone here, but I still act as if I’m under the sim, just in case. I was separated from Tris on the train, and the group of soldiers I was with eventually dispersed. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear the cry of a small child and his mother around the corner. I quickly peek my head around, and aside from the Abnegation mother and son, the only person there is a Dauntless man, who is holding a gun to the mother’s head. Eric. He has his back turned to me, I can’t let him kill them, I quietly creep up from behind him, and put my own gun to his head, “Don’t you dare shoot them.”

He pauses for a moment, and then puts his gun down, hands raised beside his head. He slowly turns around and his eyes widen when he sees me, “Y/N? You’re-”

“Yes. I’m Divergent, Eric,” I spit out his name, “I can’t believe you would do something like this!”

He almost looks hurt as he whispers, “You have to listen to me Y/N, I didn’t want to do this, I truly didn’t, but I had to, you have to believe me.”

I did. I did believe him. I look into his eyes and whisper, “Okay.”

He looks at me with a hateful expression and spits, “The cameras can’t detect sound, so I just have to make it look like I’m angry. Put the gun to the back of my head and lead me to where I tell you. There are a few alleyways where Erudite was unable to install cameras.”

I lead Eric down a few turns, making sure there are no Dauntless soldiers there, and we eventually make it to a small alley where there are no cameras. Eric turns around to face me and I lower my gun, “Okay now what?”

He takes both my hands into his own, “So you’re Divergent? How could you not tell me Y/N?”

“I was going to Eric! I swear, that’s why I asked to meet you on the roof,” I say defensively, “But you’re no one to lay accusations on me, how could you do this. So many innocents are being killed because of these plans.”

“I have my reasons Y/N, I can’t tell you right now, the time isn’t right, but you have to trust me,” I nod, “so since you were never under the sim, I guess you heard everything I said back in the compound?”

“I did,” I smile and punch him in the shoulder, “you have the worst fucking timing Eric! Do you know how hard I had to try to keep up my act up?! Fuck you!”

He chuckles and pull me into his arms, “I love you.”

“I love you too Eric!” I lean up and kiss him, and for a while, I forget where we are, for a moment it is just the two of us in the whole world, holding each other, madly in love.

Eric finally pulls away, “Y/N, I have to go now. Listen, there is a hideout that some of the Abnegation have, go there and they will help you, I’m sure Tris will be there.” Eric tells me where to go and the secret knock that he overheard a few Abnegation talking about. He then bends down to the body of an Abnegation man, who is lying dead on the ground, and puts some of the man’s blood on his clothes and arm, I cringe knowing that he is trying to make it look like he killed me,  “I really have to go now baby.”

He turns to walk away, and my eyes suddenly fill with tears, “Eric?” He turns back to face me, “Will I see you again?”

He inhales deeply, and then gives me a peck on the lips, “This will all be over soon Y/N.”

“That’s not what I asked Eric,” I whisper, trying to keep the tears from spilling.

“I need to go Y/N,” I breathe in sharply as he turns around and walks away.

“Eric?” I say just before he turns around the corner, he stops, keeping his back turned to me, “Be careful.”

He finally looks back and gives me a weary smile, “I will Y/N, you take care of yourself too babe.”

I see Eric disappear around the corner, and I let a single tear slip down my cheek.


I sit in the hidden room with a group of Abnegation, Tris, and Tris’ brother; I think his name is Caleb. We plan to go to Dauntless and stop the simulation.

Everything that happened after that was kind of a blur, leaving the safe room, getting on the train, going into Dauntless HQ. I was too busy worrying about Eric to care about what was happening around me, especially after Tris told me that she had shot him in the leg.

Now Caleb, Marcus, Peter, and I stand outside the control room, waiting Tris to come out with Four. I get fed up and finally go in myself, to help Tris. I see that she just shut down the simulation, one by one, the screens start to shut down, and we hear Dauntless guards coming. Tris and Four hurry me out of the room, just as I’m about to leave I see someone raise a gun at Eric on one of the screen, but the screen shuts off before I can see what happens.

“Come on Y/N!” Four yells at me, as Tris grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room.

We all get on the train and head to Amity, we are officially fugitives. I’m worried out of my mind about Eric, and I can’t stand seeing Four and Tris act all romantic, when my love life is such a mess, so I go sit alone in a corner of the train. I clutch the necklace that Eric gave me when I passed the first stage on initiation ranked in second place. Please let him be okay.


We’ve been in Amity for two days, and I haven’t heard anything from Eric. Johanna allowed us to stay here as long as we blended in with their members. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and get out my cot, heading out of the room I share with Peter and Caleb.

“What’s going on Johanna? What did you hear?” I hear Four say from around the corner.

“One of Dauntless’ leaders was killed.” She says. What?!

“Who?!” Both Four and Johanna turn to me.

Johanna looks at me with a calm, yet disappointed expression, “Y/N, sweetheart, you know it’s wrong to eavesdro-”

“Who. Is. It. Johanna.?” I say slowly, spitting out every word, stepping dangerously close to her.

She steps back, and Four grips my arm, “Just tell her Johanna.”

“Eric. It is Eric,” She says, not knowing my relationship to him.

I feel my heart breaking. My body feels like it’s being torn apart. I want to scream but at the same time, I just want to fall and not do anything at all. I find myself running. As fast as my legs can carry me, I don’t know how long I run, I don’t know where I go, but when I’m finally too exhausted to take another step I fall to my knees, I see that I’m surrounded by trees. I sit there for hours, just staring up at the sky; I watch its bright blue colour get darker and darker until its almost pitch black, I feel nothing at all, my mind and body are completely numb.

I finally pick myself up and make my way back to Amity’s fields.

“Where the hell did you go?!” Tris yells at me, gripping my arms, I don’t respond, “Y/N? Hello?!”

“Tris, leave her alone,” Four says, putting a hand on her shoulder, “Peter, can you take Y/N back to her room.”

Peter puts his arm around me and walks me back to our room as if I’m a small child. I lay on my cot, staring up at the ceiling until I eventually fall asleep.

The next few days are a blur, I spend most of my time sitting in my cot holding on to my necklace, sometimes I move to the floor, I barely remember eating or communicating with anyone. I haven’t thought of anything that happened, I haven’t let a single tear slip, and I’m afraid that anytime now, I will explode. Tris comes in and sits in front of me to give me one of her usual lectures.

“Y/N, you’ve been up here for days, you have to come down. Get it together Y/N, I know he’s gone, but you can’t let that destroy you,” She realizes that her words are having no effect on me and sighs, “Alright fine Y/N. But Amity is hosting one of their bonfires tonight, at least join us for that. If not for yourself then for us, and I know you know that Eric would have never wanted to see you like this.”

I know she’s right, I have to do this. Eric would hate me if he saw how weak I was right now. I will go to that bonfire tonight, and wherever Eric is, I know he’ll be glad that I’m trying to stay strong. I love you Eric. I miss you.

Eric’s POV

“What the fuck?!” I yell, clutching Max’s collar, “What the fuck do you mean she’s dead?!”

“Please Eric,” he chokes out, “Relax, just listen to me.”  

“Relax?!” I practically scream, “How the fuck do you expect me to relax?!”

I let go of Max and he falls back on to his chair, I take a deep breath, trying to get a control over myself, “How did this happen? I want to know everything Max.”

“We found her body in the Chasm two days ago. You were patrolling the city, so we cremated her body. Her face was practically unidentifiable, we wouldn’t have known it was her if it weren’t for this,” Max reaches into his pocket, and hand me a small object. Y/N’s ring, she’d had it for years, I turn it over in my hand and see her name engraved at the back of it. Fuck no, this can’t be fucking happening!

My hand shakes and I whisper, “Do you know who did this?”

“Jeanine saw her being shot,” My eyes widen at this, Jeanine knew and didn’t tell me, “the face of the killer was covered, however, Jeanine had been able to detect the divergence level of the person. They are exactly who we’re looking for, the 100% Divergent.”

I’ll kill them, whoever the fuck it was, I will kill them!

I storm out of Max’s office and back to my apartment. I slam my door shut and smash the first vase I see, I then proceed to destroy any object I come into contact with. Once my apartment is completely trashed, I fall to my knees and sob, I haven’t cried in years, but I can’t do anything now, I can’t stop it. I sob until I feel numb. I eventually drift to sleep on the floor next to the couch.

Y/N’s POV

I sit around a fire with Tris, Four, Peter, Caleb, and a group of Amity. They’ve been singing this entire time, and somehow, miraculously, I was able to push my troubles aside for a while, feeling slightly happy.

“Can any of you sing?” An Amity girl asks, gesturing towards us.

“Y/N can!” Peter says suddenly, damn his Candor ways.

“Sing for us Y/N!” Another Amity boy says, a few others agree with him. I quickly shake my head, not wanting to take part in any of this.

“Oh come on Y/N, sing for us,” Tris urges me, “Maybe it’ll help you feel better. Please?”

I decide that maybe it would help, so I do:  

My voice breaks at the end. I can’t do this. I get up and run into the forest, falling down next to a tree. I finally let the tears come, I sob, I sob harder than I’ve ever sobbed before, I sob for what feels like hours. Peter finally comes to look for me, Four soon follows him. They both just sit on either side of me, not saying anything. I became good friends with Peter towards the end of the first stage of initiation, and Four transferred along with my brother, so he has always treated me like a younger sister. It feels good to have them next to me. I finally get up and Peter puts his arm around me, leading me back to Amity, while Four follows closely behind us. I feel a slight sense of relief, I finally allowed myself to breakdown, I finally let out all the emotion I was holding back.

I sit in the room next to the window, while Peter and Caleb sit on their individual cots. I stare at the moon, and hope that Eric is watching me from wherever he is, I miss you Eric. I love you; I wish I could have told you that, before you left. I only ever got to tell you once, but I want you to know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before.

Eric’s POV

I wake up before dawn; I go out onto my balcony, remembering the countless times that I spent up here with Y/N. I stare up at the moon, and I hope that Y/N is watching me from wherever she is. I miss you Y/N. I love you; I wish I could have told you that, before you left. I only ever got to tell you twice, but I want you to know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before.

Y/N’s POV

It’s the middle of the day and I sit with Tris, Four, Peter, and Caleb in Johanna’s office. I hear Four mutter a curse, and we all look up at him.

“Dauntless,” He says back with wide eyes, “They’re here! Hunting for us!”

Johanna rushes up and tells us to stay hidden in her office, so we all huddle up in the back corner. A few minutes later, Four walks up to look out the window again. He turns back around and his face has gone pale, almost as if he saw a ghost. I exchange a look with Tris and walk up to Four to see what he saw, I look out the window, and I don’t believe his eyes. Eric.

My face breaks into a wide smile and tears slip down my cheeks, “He’s alive,” I whisper, “Four he’s alive!”

“And now he’s hunting us,” Four hisses, dragging me back to the corner.

“H-he wouldn’t kill us!”

“You don’t know what he’s capable of Y/N!” Four scolds me as if I’m a little child, “You will stay hidden from him Y/N. If he catches us, he may try to protect you but Tris and I will sure as hell be killed. And I’m sure you don’t want us to die because of your little love affair, do you?”

I can’t believe Four is blackmailing me like this; I look down and shake my head. I guess I can’t let Eric see me.

We hear Eric making his way into Johanna’s office, Four looks around the corner and down at him. Suddenly Four jerks his head back, “Shit! I’m pretty sure Eric just made eye contact with me! We’re done!”

To all of our surprise we see Eric turn around and walk back. Four takes this moment to usher us towards the window. We are just about to leave when Peter suddenly shouts, “They’re up here! Hey! Eric, they’re up here!”

What is he doing?!

Four quickly pushes us out the window, and soon enough, we are running through the woods and catching a train to who knows where. Eric didn’t see me, I didn’t let him, and now I fucking hate myself. I’m sorry Eric, I’m sorry.

The following day is spent with the factionless, and then we travel down to Candor to meet the rest of the loyal Dauntless members.


I’ve been in Candor for days now, and I’m currently sitting in my bunk ready to sleep. We hear a commotion going on somewhere in the compound, and Christina and I look at one another and decide to go find out what’s happening.

Tris’ POV

“How could you do that to her? She was your friend, she trusted you,” Eric hissed. What the hell was he talking about?

I close my hand around the knife handle and squeeze. Eric leans closer.

Dauntless attacked Candor, and Eric discovered my Divergence. He is now leading me out of the faction to turn me in to Jeanine.

“Just between you and me … I think you might have gotten three, because you’re the kind of bullheaded person who would refuse to make a simple choice just because she was told to,” he says. “Care to enlighten me?”

I lurch forward, pulling my hand out of my pocket. I close my eyes as I thrust the blade up and toward him. I don’t want to see his blood.

I feel the knife go in and then pull it out again. My entire body throbs to the rhythm of my heart. The back of my neck is sticky with sweat. I open my eyes as Eric slumps to the ground, and then—chaos.  

Y/N’s POV

I run down the stairs to see what’s happening, as I walk into the room I see Tris huddled in Four’s arms holding a knife, explaining something to him, she gestures to the other side of the room and that is when I see him. Eric is slumped on the ground, he is covered in blood and by the looks of it, he has been stabbed. Fuck no! He is slipping out of consciousness, I run up to him and fall on to me knees, putting my hands on his cheeks.

“Eric! Fuck Eric keep your eyes open! Eric! Don’t you fucking die on me! Please?” I beg him, with tears streaming down my face. He doesn’t know I’m here. That’s when Candor’s leader Jack Kang walks up to me, explaining how Eric is one of Candor’s prisoners now, meaning he will get honourable treatment. They then take him to the hospital.


The Dauntless have decided that Eric will be executed today. Oh hell no, I will not let that happen. Eric sits on a chair in front of Tori, Four, and Harrison, Four holds a gun to his head, “Eric, be brave.”

I run forward towards Eric, finally revealing myself, I shield Eric’s body, “No! You can’t fucking kill him Four! You can’t!”

“Y/N, you’re alive?” Eric asks in utter shock.

“Y/N, get away from him!” Four shouts at me.

“No Four! If you want to kill him, you’ll have to kill me first.” I say confidently.

“Y/N ge-”

“No. Four.” I say slowly, “Listen, I’m not just doing this because I’m a psychotic girlfriend like you all think. Think about it, Eric is our only key to figuring out Jeanine’s plan. Don’t you want to know why Jeanine wants your girlfriend?”

“What makes you think he’ll tell us?” Tori asks me in a bitchy tone, “The man isn’t even afraid to die for Jeanine’s secret, why would he tell us?”

“Look around Tori!” I spit, “We’re in Candor. Put him under the truth serum!”

Realization strikes them all instantly, and Four and Harrison agree with me. We eventually get everything set up and Eric is put under the truth serum.

One by one, he is asked simple questions by Four.

“So why did you do it? Why did you take part in Jeanine’s plans?” Four asks.

“For her,” Eric points at me, what? “Jeanine threatened to kill her, she was on constant watch throughout initiation, and I had to do it to save her life.”

He did this for me. Me! Oh my god, I can’t believe this.

“So you didn’t want to do it?” Four asks.

“Of course not, I tried my best to not save as many people as I could. Why do you think I pushed the gun down towards my leg when Tris threatened to shoot me in Abnegation, I could have easily pushed it to the side. I let her shoot me so you two could escape. Then at Amity, I saw you in Johanna’s office yet I walked away, the only reason I had to go back to you was because Peter called me up there, the other soldiers had heard his call so I couldn’t back out.”

“You said earlier that you thought Y/N was dead, so why didn’t you stop after that, if you were only doing this to save her, why didn’t you stop after she died? Why did you come here and try to take Tris away?”

“I was told that she was killed by the one who was 100% Divergent, and that turned out to be Tris, I had to get revenge.”

“Do you regret what you did?”

“I did it to save her, so no. However, I do regret that many lives were lost because of my actions.”

“Do you have anything else to tell us?”

“I-I’m, no, nothing else!” Eric looks like he is struggling hard to keep a secret.

“What is it Eric?” Four asks more aggressively

He stays silent.

“Eric, please tell us. Please baby,” I beg him.

“I’m-I’m Divergent!”

I drop the glass of water that I was holding and Four drops his gun.

“W-what?!” Four says, everyone is clearly as shocked as I am.

“I’m Divergent.”

“Alright Eric, based on your confession, we, the members of Dauntless, have agreed to forgive you, as long as you join our side” Four says, “You can go now.”

Eric gets off his chair and walk out the door and onto the balcony. I run after him, and he turns to me, “Y/N! I’m so sorry, fuck I thought you were dead! I missed you so fucking much. I love you!”

I walk up to him and pathetically punch at him a few times, “Fuck you! You’re such an idiot Eric! You did this all for me, what were you thinking? Do you actually think I would have been able to live with myself if you had died for me?”

He pulls me into his arms, and we stand there hugging one another, until I feel wetness on the skin of my neck, “Eric? Eric are you crying?”

He takes a deep breath and pulls away from our hug, “I’m so sorry Y/N! I love you so much.”

“I know Eric. Its okay, I don’t ever want to see you cry again baby. I love you too,” and with that we kiss.

From now on, everything will be better, the war will end soon, and though our world may be fucked up, at least I have Eric with me. I don’t ever want to spend another day without him.      

A/N: I’m sorry it that was so long, it was originally going to be split into three parts, but I got a little carried away :P Anyways, I’m also sorry that I haven’t posted in forever, but this took so long to write. I hope you enjoy it! 

Masterlist // Rules List // To-Do List

Sns fic rec

Ok, ok. Since I’m here suffering with these fanfics, I hope you can suffer with me too :), I decided to make a fic rec. Plz come and tell me that you have suffer the same amount of pain as me :)

(Sorry)

Not yaoi section

Tis femina
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5794659/1/Tis-Femina

Summary: Naruto had gone to his last battle with Madara fully prepared to die with his enemy. He did not think he’d be manipulated by old toad sages and thrown to the far past. He did not expect to wake up in the Senju clan compound either.

Notes: This fic is not sns but focus on politics, where Naruto had time-travel to the past. It’s a very interesting one.

The ghost and the darkness
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3883902/5/The-Ghost-and-the-Darkness

Summary: Sasuke and Naruto become friends at a young age, but will Naruto’s paranoia and mental instability draw Sasuke down into madness, or will Sasuke’s own demons bring them both into the dark? Not yaoi.

Notes: Again, not yaoi (don’t worry it’s the last one), but it’s very interesting to see Naruto having mental illness and it’s Sasuke who helps him through this. Very dark fic.
—————————————————–
Sasunarusasu / multi-chapter

The sky
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4455311/1/The-Sky

Summary: Uchiha Sasuke dreams of the sky. After ten years, he begins to dream with the sun as the shadows in his memories begin appearing with startling clarity—and everything seems connected to this stranger who returned with covered eyes he longs to see.

Notes: …. my favorite fic of all time….. but i hate it so much, plz don’t read it if you don’t want to cry every chapter of this wonderful fic.

Give us the daily ramen
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10700103/1/Give-us-our-Daily-Ramen

Summary: Naruto runs an underground newspaper called ‘The Daily Ramen’, focused on poking fun at the fragile egos of the rich and famous. How does Sasuke respond when he moves to town and gets in Naruto’s crosshairs? Not particularly well. But who said arguing can’t be foreplay? AU Sasuke x Naruto (Yaoi boy x boy).

Notes: I guess this is a famous fic but…. *sweat. This is actually a very funny fic and probably the most light fic I have read, it’s such a cute story!!

The mirror image
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10863111/1/Mirror-Image

Summary: Naruto’s and Sasuke’s fate could have been reversed, but what would have done it? As it turns out all it takes is the death of one Umino Iruka. Massive canon divergence. NaruSasu/SasuNaru. Rated M for disturbing, violent, and sexual situations.

Notes: FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO HAVE A AU WHERE THEY CHANGE FATE, THIS IS PERFECT. Plz. Just. Read. It. You won’t regret it.

Clouded mind and heavy heart (part 1 of hopeless wanderer)
http://archiveofourown.org/works/2608253

Summary: You reap what you sow.
Sasuke plants seeds of doubt.
Instead of fighting in the Valley of the End, Sasuke convices Naruto to join him.

Notes: This is fic is strong. Actually for me some parts are a bit OOC but this is a wonderful fic. The emotions and everything. It’s very entertaining to see what will happen if Sasuke brought Naruto with him.

Three times when Sasuke didn’t kiss Naruto
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4446286/1/Three-times-when-Sasuke-didn-t-kiss-Naruto

Summary: Three times Sasuke messed up, and one time he and Naruto finally got it right. SasuNaruSasu, spoilers for manga, now complete.

Notes: I haven’t finish this yet but it’s all prefect so far!!

Roommates
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2863275/1/Roommates

Summary: Take one broody Sasuke, one hyperactive Naruto, shove them in a University dorm room together, and what do you get? Absolute chaos. SasuNaru

Notes: This has three series and I am just at the first one because I am pretty sure that the rest will be just angst and pain.

Vertigo
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4621776

Summary: Five years after Sasuke leaves the village, he comes back of his own accord and no one knows why. Captured and put under house arrest, Tsunade tells Naruto, Sakura, and Sai to live with him, take care of him, and make him better. But Sasuke isn’t the same Sasuke they remember.

Notes: This fic really described the team 7 ’s bond, Sasuke’s struggle with himself and Naruto’s despair. Made me cry like a baby and I hate this fic (I love it).
————————————————
Sasunarusasu / one-shot

Because you are you
http://archiveofourown.org/works/2579216#work_endnotes

Summary: Dont read this fic. Over time, Sasuke’s become confident in two things. The first is that he’s broken. No argument, no chance at repair, no fight. The second is Naruto.
Occasionally, the two clash. Seriously. dont read this.

Notes: Seriously read this. Just. The feels.

It is not selfish
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8501717/1/it-is-not-selfish

Summary: REPOST. Sasuke is more generous than people give him credit for. For January Marlinquin

Notes: MY FAVORITE ONE-SHOT OKAYYYYY, EVERYTHING IS SO PREFECT.

Cultivate your hunger
http://archiveofourown.org/works/2589923

Summary: After six days, Sasuke wakes up.Naruto doesn’t.

Notes: I know that most people read this but c'mon. This is the true ending.

The annoying game
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4680788/1/The-Annoying-Game

Summary: Naruto and Sai play a dangerous game to hone their shinobi skills. Their goal—to annoy their target enough to attack them both with their most powerful jutsu at maximum killing intent. Their next target—Konoha’s number one recalcitrant Uchiha Sasuke.

Notes: This is SO FUNNY AND CUTE!!! This will make your day better, I swear. (Except when you realize that she doesn’t update for years)

Yours for an hour
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5742029/1/Yours-for-an-Hour

Summary: Even without trying to, Life changes Sasuke one hour at a time. For aoi hana72.

Notes: I really like the cd but the fic is 100000x better. Please read the fic if you hadn’t read it yet.
——————————————————-

Please tell me if you have suffer like me :)

(Sorry)

Part 6- Avery's Babysitting Adventure

A/N: This has been posted before, on another account…personal account. I’m reposting. And I’m making it part of Avery!Verse. Enjoy!

Pairing: Eric x Avery

Disclaimer: Like always, I own only the plot.

Part1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5


Originally posted by sparklemichele

“Aves,” A small voice whispered in the dark. Avery groaned in her sleep, turning on her side. “Avery, wake up.” This time, small hands shook her shoulder. She sighed and turned to face the little girl that stood by her bed. “What is it, Luce?” She asked groggily. The four year old in front of her fidgeted. It would’ve been cute if it weren’t for the fact that it was 2 am in the morning and Lucy had a troubled look on her.

Keep reading

quickestwitt  asked:

I love how the fandom quickly adopted Savi as their son and legit 99% of the people I talk to love him and want to protect him and I'm kinda like, we're all going to be crushed when he is inevitably defeated and we won't get to see Glorious Villain Grant anymore and I'm like "Well. We've backed ourselves into an interesting corner haven't we fandom" Because I remember Before Savi reveal, the fandom only cared about guessing who he was, he wasn't that interesting, now everyone loves him. so RIP

I’m here for any and every Barry, but my weakness is Barry and Older Barrys.

Gif credit: flashallens.

Gif credit: flashallens.

I wanted to keep Zoom, too, but all Big Bads have their day.  Maybe Savitar will stick around: Reverse keeps popping up, and Hunter is the Black Flash. They like to keep their speedsters, and this is an exquisite plot line.

Fandoms and their movie interpretations...
  • Harry Potter: We have amazing movies that don't have too much inaccuracy in them
  • Hunger Games: Our movies were good nothing too different about them.
  • Percy Jackson: Our movies were terrible, like did anyone ever even read the script like ummmmmmmmm ANNABETH IS BLONDE OK?!
  • Divergent: We're still waiting for the allegiant movies to come out...
  • The 5th Wave: The first movie was ok I guess, but there's still not a third book
  • Maze Runner: So far we're doing pretty good I guess...
  • The Mortal Instruments: Well the movies were awful, they couldn't have done more worse but it's ok because we got our own T.V. show, Screw movies
  • The selection: ...
  • The Selection: Well this is awkward

Am i the only one who gets way to into movies or even tv shows, like, i’m talking you start acting like you’re in the damn movie while in all reality you’re really sitting on your couch stuffing your face with half a bag of cheese puffs? I’m an odd child, y’all, i’m aware. I guess i mine as well do some awkward introduction now, huh? I’m Selena Quintanilla…no, no i’m just Gomez and i’ve been pretending i’m the fake character in Divergent who’s in a relationship with Eric cause clearly that’s my type. 

Going through my Drive to determine exactly how many words I’ve written on the quest to one-million, and i just found the old Faction Paradox novel proposal I sent to Obverse on New Year’s Day last year. I hardly remember it, and I guess it wasn’t quite up to snuff, but I figured I may as well put it somewhere, and maybe the ideas’ll benefit someone else.

So, here’s it in full:

Backstory: the Enemy create an artificially-sped-up future timeline of Earth, sans Ghost Point, to observe/harvest whatever comes of it. The divergence is the engineered murder of the British royal family in 1848, caused by placing Queen Victoria and various servants in perceptual fields (a la hollow spectaculars) stitched/bastardised from the thoughts of the men who historically tried to murder her. Inside, non-Enemy agents are locked out of traveling history, and breaches are lost in confusion-storms. Major powers notice, get curious, and sneak agents into the divergence’s beginning before the protocols solidify.

A Celestis Lady with an unfashionable preoccupation for early-Earth godforms appears to a sickly old slave in a New Orleans Voodoo congregation as Siren and Whale, offering him longevity in exchange for his bloodline’s servitude. He fathers a lineage of Indentured spanning centuries, from jubilant evangelists to cynical errand-children. Meticulously, she consumes the Enemy’s protocols and becomes chief spirit of Earth.

Cwej and a small expeditionary force write themselves into the timeline’s starting conditions, though they partly fail and one’s generated as an abomination drowning in the Thames. The remainder (and a personality-reboot inflicted on an over-curious mudlark) investigate the regicide, capture the perceptual field and lay low, monitoring the planet until technology outpaces expectation and they understand what the timeline’s for. Using inbuilt tech, they punch a hole in the alter-time structure and signal for the obliteration of the light-cone. The ensuing confusion kills them.

The Lady notices, and uses Enemy defenses to retroactively write Cwej and his forces out of the timeline. Aware the Houses will break everything in a few centuries (a couple Spiral Politic minutes), she influences humanity’s growth to have another hole-puncher built, and has a servant send a false alarm signal to the Houses, who believe her.

In the background, a Faction cell recruits many of the story’s bit-players, like the thrice-dead-mudlark-soldier, and uses humanity as a think-tank.

In 2343, the posthuman era’s early, but everything’s disappointing. Meaningful time-travel is impossible for humans even at relativistic speeds, and attempts to pierce the skin of reality lead to breach-defenses. The latest Indentured descendant, a Faction-sympathetic bestiary-maker, flees Earth for a fledgling lunar colony. There, he’s initiated into the Faction as his Lady’s summoned; he uses his newfound posthuman-crafted shadow-weapon to sever his Marked arm and murder her. With his noosphere-bound bloodline forsook, time-travel becomes more possible, and he runs down his own timeline killing specific ancestors and iterations of the Lady until the protocols are up for grabs.

From the ritual weight of so many people being un-Indentured, the Faction takes full control and makes time-travel and breaching retroactively possible for everyone. Cwej’s force is no longer written out of the timeline, and when they signal the Houses the mudlark-soldier-Cousin adds to disregard any false alarms and disappears.

Posthumanity masters the timeline, escapes in all directions and activates the protocols behind them. When a Mirraflex fleet bears down on Earth in 2343, they find it empty, and the timeline collapses.

As I Was - drabble

I always knew that it would eventually come to something like this.  All I ever wanted was the betterment of my home, but I wanted that betterment to be for everyone… and the other senators didn’t like that.  They didn’t like how I found those who were different, those who diverged from what they were supposed to be.

I suppose I may have been seeing myself in them.  True, I fit my function well enough, even with being alt mode exempt, but… there was still something that made me feel separate.  Nobody ever drew attention to it, but I was well enough aware of it.  

Looking back, I don’t think they knew.  Proteus certainly didn’t.  How could he?  There were always thoughts running through my processor, who would ever be able to guess that some of them felt alien to my own mind?

Flashes of inspiration and ideas, so often helpful.  Solutions to the energy crisis rising to the front of my mind so I could jot them down and bring them up at meetings.  Dark, cold ideas that I had learned to ignore.  I never did figure out where or why they happened, just that I would be working alone at night and suddenly my own processor would turn against me - telling me I was going to fail.  That everything I was doing was in vain.

They came at other times, too.  I would be walking along the streets of Iacon, talking with close friends, greeting colleagues, and smiling at strangers when the urge would rise out of nowhere.  Take them.  Make them something new.  I never gave in.  Not without permission.  There were a few who agreed when I brought it up… one of my closest friends among them.

I confided in him once, too.  He listened attentively as I discussed the intrusions to my processor, indignant when I laughed at his suggestion that it was coming from outside myself.  I knew my processor well, I had explained to him.  It was all me.

When you hear stories of those with impulses and intrusive thoughts, there’s always this fear of losing control that comes with it.  I never felt that fear.  Not until much later… and even then its source wasn’t internal.

I suppose I always knew it was going to happen eventually.  I was outspoken, defiant, unpredictable, difficult to control, and determined to do what I felt was best for all.  If I hadn’t been a senator, it would’ve happened much sooner.  When they came for me, I was calm.  I had no reason to fight back or run, since I knew they could find me wherever I went.  There was one act of defiance I had left, or so I thought at the time, so I turned to him and smiled.  I had two things to say to him, but there was only enough time for one: “Remember me as I was.”

———

Things were different once it was done.  I didn’t feel the same.

Correction: I did not feel.

It really was a mistake on their part.  They assumed taking away the part of me that was making me challenge them would make me easier to control.  They thought they could turn me into a tool without destroying the part of me they wanted.

They were wrong.

It seems the part of me they took was the part of me that they wanted after all.  They left me with nothing but logic and reason, severing away emotion and morality like it was a disease.

If only they knew that was why I toed the line and held my tongue.  I don’t have one of those anymore, anyway.

I had always been able to see the rising tide, the changes that were about to begin in my - our - world.  At first I had assumed the change could be made gradually, that agreements could be made between both sides.  I had been prepared to step down, but I see now nobody else was.  When they took away my face and slid needles into my neck, it clarified things in a way that I never would have thought possible.

The change needed would have to be swift and violent.  The time for compromise was over once I had to tell him to remember me as I was as opposed to as I am.

Do I miss being the Senator?

No.  I do not.  My world was clouded by emotion and trying to do the right thing.  The thoughts I had once called intrusions now present ideas that under normal circumstances I would not consider.  I do not regret going peacefully… had I not, more may have been done and I may have lost more than emotion.

Nor do I regret telling him to remember me.  The Senator deserves at least one mourner.

But that is not who I am now.

Now I have no title.  I am simply Shockwave, and you have been deceived.


Also on AO3

Xander was led through the castle corridors by his retainer, his wary frown deepening at every passing moment. “And you gave this order to the chef because..?” “Things have become too dreary as of late, milord. I thought perhaps I could liven our spirits with something everyone loves: food,” came the all-too-casual reply from Laslow. “Back where I’m from, we celebrate all we’re thankful for by gathering our loved ones for a huge banquet.” The prince was sure the creases upon his forehead would become a permanent fixture, but he declined to inquire about Laslow’s mysterious home, or how he could introduce such indulgence from it to a kingdom with scarce food supply to begin with. Instead he hmm’d, and continued to follow his merry subordinate down to the kitchen.

As they neared, Laslow began to brag more of what awaited for his prince to see: pheasant, chicken, pig, beef, a cauldron of soup, fruits and vegetables, pies, and so much more. He detailed how the chef had said they would make this a dinner to never forget, and guessed that the cooks must have worked all night and day to bring each meal to perfection. Laslow’s eagerness to show off the awaiting layout was contagious; the stolid prince himself was becoming interested to see this for himself.

Their shared anticipation screeched to a halt, replaced instead with a perturbed curiosity as a booming sound came rattling from the kitchen entrance.

*BRRAAUURRP!!*

The two shared a look before hastening to the archway. What they found was.. a whole mix of words, honestly. The kitchen looked absolutely ransacked. Cabinets were flung open, their shelves either bare or littered with empty bottles and bags. The countertops were a mess of food scraps and stains, plates and sheets strewn across them or else shattered on the floor. The cauldron was tipped over, only a small trickle of broth emerging from it. The large pantry was open to reveal it too was now barren of any sign of food or ingredients, only the empty shells of sacks, boxes, and barrels remaining. The main counter near the middle of the room was no better; the pans where the cooked fowls and pig were to be now only containing bones stripped clean of meat, indicating it was hit by the same disaster.

And said disaster was plopped down on the floor resting his back against it, the location of all the food that had disappeared resting between his sprawled legs in the form of a huge, gurgling orb. The belly looked unreal, so big and round that it would fit better on a monster thrice its current owner’s size. But that was not the case, made evident by how utterly engorged the glutton was, tongue hanging lazily from his mouth as he panted, each intake of breath making the tight mound swell only a centimeter under his gloved hands. His shirt and vest (and, if they’d been visible, pants as well) were long since rid of their buttons, now useless cloth lying over the top sides of the mound.

“Keaton..?”

The wolfskin’s lowered ears perked at the sound of his name, and his head turned accordingly. His eyes were half-lidded, mind sluggish, and it took him a second to register it was Laslow who called to him - his liege, still struck speechless, standing next to him. “Oh..” He was interrupted by a soundless hiccup that made his torso jolt back and enormous belly jostle, a slight whimper tailing the act. Apparently just forming words was too much trouble for his system right now. “oof… Heya~” Even caught red-handed like this, Keaton could not be dissuaded from his pleased state; looking like the cat that got the cream was more truth than idiom in his case.

Silence would have fallen once more, were it not for the wolf’s stomach still busy processing its insane load. It gurgled and churned, glorped and whined, like a muffled factory overloaded with work. The wolf’s hands rubbing on either side seemed an effort in futility. Laslow and Xander, still caught in shock, were occupied with trying to piece together what happened. Apparently the wolfskin had caught the scent of all the food being prepared, enticed down into the kitchen by the succulent smells that poured forth like a torrent. If the smell enchanted him, the sight of it all must have driven him mad with hunger, awakening his inner beast as he lunged forth and crammed the nearest morsel in his maw. And from there he just.. did not stop. Anything edible was chewed, slurped, or otherwise gulped whole in the one-wolf rampage. A night and a day’s work, all consumed in what could have only taken an hour or so.

That just left one question. The architect of such an arrangement surely could not have left their work unguarded. Again it was Laslow who voiced their shared concern. “Wait.. where’s the chef?”

Keaton’s stomach rumbled, as if triggered by the word. The gastric sounds reached a fever pitch before ending in another loud, drawn-out belch from the unabashed glutton. He licked his chops, contented smile growing a tad, and gave his drum-tight gut a light pat. It was then that the two other men noticed the white hat and slightly torn apron resting next to the wolfskin. No further investigation was needed, much less desired.

Another extended pause, and then the two men at the entryway diverged in action. Where Xander remained planted in place, disturbed beyond measure, Laslow walked over to the immobilized wolf and kneeled down to join him in rubbing the churning mass. While Keaton certainly appreciated the extra pair of hands, the prince gave him a bemused look. “What are you doing?” Laslow returned the look with a defeated shrug, as if his hands were tied in the matter. “Well, it was my idea in the first place, so.. I guess this is my responsibility.”

He turned back to the wolf, rubbing his ridiculously packed belly with extra vigor. “At least someone got to enjoy the feast, huh?” Keaton could only make pleased sounds, tongue again flopping out of his mouth as another burp worked its way up his tired throat. Xander, meanwhile, resigned himself to be the one to have to clean up the bizarre mess these two made.

Holy god I actually did something on time.. barely! This time picture and a drabble! \o/  HOPE EVERYONE HAD A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

IT’S BETA-KNIGHT

Prof has been doing so many fusions with the zombies… Plants want love and fusions too! So I tried a Beta-Carrotina + Wall-Knight yesterday but only posted today.

Didn’t like how it turned out tbh… I guess it’s because of the colors… But my cousin said it was nice and now I want opinions.

The armor/jetpack is purple because red + blue =P

Danger lvl, both in general and for zombies, is Low, because, well, there is nothing in their personality that makes them dangerous in general, and battles against them are more like an “I can’t hurt you, you can’t hurt me”. Stability lvl is High because Wally and Beta don’t have divergences (or have a few, if they have any) and love being fused ‘u’

(It’s a They/Them btw)

@thebhozzaguillero

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could you maybe guess my godly parent? My birthday is the last day of the Scorpio/ right before Sagittarius and I show traits of both. I'm most likely divergent but would choose dauntless. And I'm slytherin. Love black and have black hair and green eyes.

Scorpio: Scorpio is nothing, if not fierce! The 8th Sign of the Zodiac, the Scorpio loves a good fight, and can give ‘intensity’ a run for its money (worth). Well, to put it simply, the Scorpions are strong, commanding, intense, passionate and zealous. Driven, dedicated and loyal, they also are ambitious and security-loving.

Sagittarius: They enjoy expressing themselves in a sexual manner and they are determined to live life to the fullest. A Sagittarius personality is vibrant, inquisitive, and exciting. The woman born under the Sagittarius zodiac sign is an honest woman, who always speaks her mind and values freedom and independence.

I think Athena would be the perfect godly parent for you. You are both intelligent, ambitious and a warrior, which makes you the poster child for cabin 6!

- Marge 

{{ Well… I guess this boyo is gonna be canon divergent now. }}

SHIPPING INFO // Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. Don’t reblog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?:  Helga/Floki && Floki/Helga/Torstein for OT3 goodness

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?: Everything really. I don’t really have found any limits yet.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?: Well, seeing Floki is 11 years older than Helga in the series ( and immortal in my canon divergent ) I guess I am pretty okay with large age gaps. However, I do not ship with underage muses and I don’t really like the idea of a younger partner for Helga

Are you selective when shipping?: Yes, I am. There has to be real chemistry and a good storyline will I consider it. I’m not that keen to deviate from already ( canon ) ships she has (Floki & Torstein), and I would feel more comfortable when I know the mun OOC.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?: I don’t know really. I guess I’m pretty open minded myself, so I don’t see nudity, smooching etc as anything nsfw. I guess only the deed itself.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?: @flokithetrickster && @skutilsveininn

Does one have to ask to ship with you?: Not really. Though both me and Helga are very oblivious and sometimes need a good hint when it turns that direction.

How often do you like to ship?: When there is chemistry, there is chemistry. Helga is needy but picky, and more of a ‘one night stand’ person and I guess I am just really devoted to the ships she already has.

Are you multiship?: Yes, I definitely am.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?: Oh I am totally obsessed over the ships I have now. I am that person who goes into detail about literally everything and probably annoy other people with it tremendously.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?: Floki/Helga, perhaps Þórunn/Björn as well before Hirst decided to fuck it up, but in truth I’m not really keen on most of the ships in this fandom.

Finally, how does one ship with you?: Plot with me, rp with me, allow our characters to build up a proper storyline. Scream your headcanons at me, come to me with aus, and most importantly: make Helga feel loved.

TAGGED BY: @myriadxofxmuses

Tranquilizer

Eric

Fight, harshness, bonding, love

Fandom: Divergent

Request: “ Can you please do an eric imagine where your trying to help tris and uriah escape with the fire extinguisher and eric sees you and he freezes up for a scond then continues to where you see him interigate tris and the readers holding the little girl close trying to save her and they find out your a 80% divergent and then… “

Word count: 1140

A/N: I hope I got this right, I watched Insurgent a long time ago and don’t remember every single detail, so you may figure out I made some things up:D I hope it’s okay:)

gif is not mine.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can I have a Batboy ship please? I'm 5'5, Native American, have long straight/wavy brown hair and brown eyes with a gold tint. I'm caring, hot-headed, stubborn as hell, funny, foul-mouthed, clumsy, and loyal to loved ones. I love mythology, video games (like GTA, Assassin's Creed, etc), acting, and reading (Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Divergent, etc). I do archery and play the flute and piano as well. I mainly listen to rock music and I'm a tomboy (with the exception of makeup).

(ASSASSINS CREED I LOVE YOU ALREADY)

JASON TODD

First of all, did you know this boy could play piano? No, okay well new HC I guess. Anyways, you two play together a lot actually and you’re pretty good together. You convince him to read series of entertaining books and not just Shakes, but you’ll admit he can beat your ass in GTA. Also, if you’re very involved in your culture, he tries to learn as much as he can about it and respect it in every way possible.

3
Four: Good job out there today.

Y/n: Yeah but it’s not enough is it, apparently I need to reach Divergent status in order to be of any significance for you.

Was that jealousy he heard? Oh my god. It totally was. It took all his self-control not to laugh right there then at this new side of yours.

Four: Yeah well guess that makes you all the more special huh? Since I care enough not wanting to see you get yourself killed, and you’re not a divergent as you clearly pointed out.

Extra Volume club Zy [Vol.1] Aoi (the GazettE) / Collaborative Translation

Ayano Nishimura interviews Aoi of the GazettE regarding the album DIVISION, his feelings about solo activities, friction in the band, and his journey with the GazettE leading to a recent desire to quit…

PART 1: TEN YEARS SINCE THE GAZETTE FORMED. THE NEW ALBUM DIVISION.

Zy: The new album, DIVISION, went on sale on August 29. It’s been almost ten months since the last release, TOXIC, so I was surprised to see all the songs on the new album are new! (First pressing 14 tracks. Regular edition 12 tracks.) First, could you tell us what triggered the creation of the new album?

Aoi: It was suggested by Ruki that we should put something out for the tenth anniversary of the GazettE being a band, which was this March. Whether that something would be an album or not wasn’t decided at first, but during talks over the New Year it felt like the songs fit into the flow from the last album, TOXIC.

Zy: And did you think anything like “I want the album to be like this,” or anything like that?

Aoi: Well, since this year is our tenth anniversary, I thought about being upfront about including both things that I did not have in myself, and music that I had created myself. During lives recently I’ve also been standing on stage more as myself and not just as Aoi of the Gazette.

Zy: The first pressing of the album is split into two discs – a rock disc and a digital disc, which is interesting. I was also surprised that the track listing on each edition is different. A minute detail!

Aoi: We thought having different track lists would make the tracks flow better. Since the first pressing is two discs, and the regular edition only one, we thought we would have different track lists.

Zy: What song on the album do you think has the most feeling?

Aoi: “Ibitsu.” It depicts desire and the truth about humans. It has substance.

Zy: On the first pressing edition, the MV for that song is included on the DVD. How was it shooting the MV?

Aoi: We shot it at a studio, and centred it on a monochrome theme. The shoot was very tiring…

Zy: I noticed a look of sorrow on your face from that tiredness. [laughs]

Aoi: I’m sure you did!

PART 2: LOOKING TO DO SOME SOLO ACTIVITIES IN SEARCH OF SOUND 

Zy: First, could you tell us about any challenges you had making the album?

Aoi: It was a continuation (from TOXIC), so it wasn’t very different.

Zy: That’s it? [laughs] Ok, then was there anything you, as Aoi, wanted to express?

Aoi: I thought a lot about wanting to change the sound. Before now, I haven’t really considered that. With TOXIC and DIVISION, they were like one album and had unity, but on the other hand, I wanted something stimulating and when I looked back that wasn’t the case. There was a conflict as to if I could offer something good or not.

Zy: …conflict?

Aoi: Yes. I wanted to pursue the GazettE’s music more deeply. I’m grateful, but we’re very busy constantly making albums, touring, and attending events. We’re not blessed with time to pursue music as the GazettE. I think since long ago we’ve had a sound that stands out, but each album was a stand-alone. Perhaps it’s because we were young, but there was no unity (between the albums). From Stacked Rubbish (2007) to DIM (2009), “gathering” the GazettE’s sound became important. It’s important to gather the sound but I also want to release albums that each have their own substance.

Zy: Is it difficult for the GazettE to do that?

Aoi: When I was a kid, whenever I heard the sound of a guitar in music, that particular artist’s face would come to mind. The GazettE doing that is difficult. I guess the perspective of the artist the GazettE is more important than ours individually.

Zy: Well then, is there no way for you to diverge and do solo activities alongside band activities?

Aoi: Perhaps, if the time comes.

Zy:  You could do that which is difficult to do as a band by yourself. What kind of images do you have in mind?

Aoi: I wondered if female vocals might be good. It’s always Ruki singing, so I want to try the tones of a female voice. That’s about the only thing really.

Zy: Last Summer at your label’s event, you formed bon: cra-Z with Hiroto from Alice Nine and sang hide’s songs.  I was really surprised to see you on vocals.

Aoi: Ah, yeah. I didn’t really want to sing but I had to in that situation. We can do what we want when we play for fun, but when you think about it, there are many restrictions to going commercially solo.

Zy: Of course. Have you talked about your feelings with the others? Perhaps each member has thought about going solo.

Aoi: We talked about it a little. The GazettE no longer completely understands the music that I think of but now is not the time for us to go our separate ways.

PART 3: ‘DISTORTION’ BORN IN THE BAND. “COMPOSED OF THE PERFECT BALANCE”

Zy: Earlier I heard from you that there were thoughts of going solo in your head, but in what way do you perceive your position in the GazettE as Aoi?

Aoi: Though I’m one of the members, I feel as if I’m pulling away from the band… I’m a member, but I think about what I should do and how I can contribute to the Gazette.

Zy: Of course you think of pulling away. You’re the oldest, for one, and in the interview you kindly allowed four years ago I feel you were the one most on edge and the one able to look at everyone objectively. But when I talk to you now, I feel like you’re pulling away.  When a band continues for a long time, distortion is born in the band and artists continuing as ‘soloists’ in the midst of this happens to other bands.  In this case, though, I think those involved, the GazettE, do not want to become a project.

Aoi: I think there’s some difference as to whose opinions are being emphasized in the band. It’s all centred on what Ruki created now, so Ruki’s statements are strong and it’s like what he thinks is becoming embodied in the other four of us. It’s important for us to preserve our world outlook as the artist the GazettE but it’s becoming a situation where we cannot hear opinions from outside of the band.

Zy: Ahh! Is this not the same Ruki that has been steadily pulling away until now? I said this before as well but it seems like you can really view people objectively. Perhaps that’s your role, Aoi? I think you’re an asset to the band.

Aoi: Yeah, but even if there are people who can see things objectively, I have to listen to them.

Zy: And what about the others, apart from Ruki?

Aoi: Hmm, Uruha, who works together with Ruki, is getting stronger. He’s probably getting more confident from his various experiences. His piercing strength is one of his good points but one of his bad points is that he pushes himself too much. I go along with Reita and Kai. I don’t have the confidence to assert my opinion but following is also important and we can’t have each and every personal sound…We’re really composed of the perfect balance.

Zy: There are various conflicts during recording, right? Conversations suddenly change completely. Are there times when you have afforded an award to yourself for working hard?

Aoi: A reward?? Like what? Perhaps the two guitars I’ve been making privately? They’ll be complete in Autumn, so I’m looking forward to that.

Zy: I don’t know when it will be but I’m looking forward to your songs when you debut solo in the future.

PART 4: BEGINNING GUITAR AT PRIMARY SCHOOL. 10 YEARS SINCE THE GAZETTE FORMED; “I WANTED TO QUIT”

Zy: Finally, we’ll talk about what triggered you to start playing guitar. I’d also like you to look back over the last ten years with the GazettE. I heard you were influenced by your brother, who was in high school, to start playing guitar.

Aoi: That’s right. I was in primary school at the time so when I saw my brother playing guitar, he looked cool and I admired him. I had a lot of guitar heroes overseas, too. Until I started a band, I thought that my best future in a band lay in guitar. I think it’s still the same overseas but in Japan, it’s best to be the vocalist, isn’t it? So at first I was a bit unsure.

Zy: I read in an old interview that you wanted to play the introduction to X JAPAN’s “Kurenai.”

Aoi: That was probably when I was in my first year of middle school. I loved hide and I practiced to death. I wanted a guitar but I couldn’t tell my parents that so I would wake up at 4am and help deliver newspapers in the next town over. My hometown is in the country and doesn’t even have an arcade so until I started guitar, I would go swimming after school finished but after I got my guitar I played it every day. That was probably when I played the most.

Zy: And when did you form a band?

Aoi: I didn’t form a band properly at first, but when I was in my final year of middle school, or perhaps my first year of high school, I performed in the gymnasium and played ZIGGY’s “GLORIA” as my senior told me to.

Zy: Ah, that was really popular then, right?  It was the theme song for some drama.

Aoi: Yeah. So, when it came time to go to high school, I said I wanted to go to a vocational school instead but I wasn’t allowed. I reluctantly went to high school. There was nobody doing music there so I quit playing then. At that time, all I did was surf.

Zy: Surfing??

Aoi: Yeah, and then I quit high school. While I was just killing time, there was this late night music programme on in the Tokai region which introduced bands that had played in Nagoya. I was really gloomy and thought about how much better those people were than me. Then I told my parents “I’m going to Tokyo” and went to Tokyo.

Zy: Your story jumps around too much. Your move to Tokyo is like Eikichi Yazawa’s.

Aoi: It was when I was twenty. I took my guitar and a change of clothes in a sports bag and came to Tokyo. Then I worked part time at Hotel Chinzanso. There was a record company nearby that only had the image of Enka. I would think brazen things like “I don’t want to enter that company!”  [laughs]

Zy: [laughs] Of course. I’m familiar with them! [laughs]

Aoi: Then I formed a band with our old drummer and met Ruki and the others. At first, that band had no drummer because the old drummer pulled out so they didn’t know what to do. At that time, Ruki invited me, saying “We also don’t have a guitarist, so how about it?” At that time “Hito* ra*o (hitori radio – lone radio)” was also recruiting. I sent off the forms since I wasn’t in the GazettE then. I would have been “alone” too. [Laughs]

Zy: I’m surprised again but it was good that you met. You started out in Meguro at Rock May Kan and that led to Nippon Budokan and Tokyo Dome, and this March you had your tenth anniversary of the GazettE. Looking back, what has stuck with you the most?

Aoi: Actually, before the Makuhari show in March, I wanted to quit the GazettE.  Things had broken down between the five of us and I thought we couldn’t continue. I was so against doing it I had to force myself. But when I came out on stage and I saw the faces of twenty thousand fans, I didn’t want to betray them.  I felt that me quitting would take away the GazettE from the fans. We played “Shunsetsu no koro” and I gathered in the centre of the stage with Ruki, Reita, and Uruha at the end.

Zy: Yes, the four of you climbed up on the platform and gathered amongst fluttering pink and white confetti. The words ‘the GazettE’ were shining golden at Kai’s back.

Aoi: Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. I didn’t want to do it. Somehow it seemed superficial. I’m not good at fixing things only on the surface.

Zy:  I’ve heard various stories. At that time you said, “There are these four, there’s me, then there’s the GazettE. With you all here, the GazettE gets bigger. Even if I thank you all, there’s no way for me to tell you how moved I am.” Remembering your tears after that makes me emotional.

Aoi: I think that the GazettE is a band with no special merits. That’s why I can’t (allow myself to) betray those who support us (regardless).

Zy: Do you think your bonds have grown deeper over these ten year? What do you want the GazettE as a five-some to achieve from now on?

Aoi: Making albums. After TOXIC, DIVISION was born. I aim to surpass that.

Translation by ROKKYUU Magazine in collaboration with club Zy.