Pair: Bucky Barnes x Female! Reader
Word Count: 1132
Warnings: Angst….I guess…?
A/N: I hit another follower milestone so to celebrate, I wrote a fic! It’s not amazing since I wrote it all today but hopefully you all still enjoy! :)
Bucky still hesitated when it came to opening up to others or meeting new people. He had built very high walls for himself especially during his time with Hydra. Hydra turned him into something he wasn’t, they made him fear all emotions other than hate making him an unbeatable weapon. Although he knew that his title as “The Winter Soldier” did not truly define him, it clearly made many fear him, himself included.
When you were first introduced to Bucky with the help of Steve, Bucky immediately fell in love, however, just the thought of him being in love made him immediately push you away. Feelings scared him and he couldn’t afford to harm a person like you, someone who was so kind, genuine, and selfless. So Bucky did what he does best, he built his walls higher shielding himself from you.
You knew that Bucky was distancing himself from you, however, you were determined to help Bucky in any way you could. You saw how he was suffering both mentally and physically. You could see how his cheeks grew more sunken in or how the bags under his eyes grew darker and how the colors of his once piercing blue eyes slowly turned to a dull grey.
You decided to help him in any way you could whether it was make him a cup of tea in the morning, give him a bottle of water after a workout, or simply send him a smile whenever you two crossed paths. You knew it wasn’t much, but you thought that could at least break the barrier between the two of you.
Bucky noticed the little things you did, how he always woke up to the smell of green tea lingering in his room or how a mysterious bottle of water would end up on the side of his towel when he was in the training room or how your eyes lit up every time your eyes met. However, the more you pushed towards helping him, the more he stepped back.
Bucky began locking his bedroom door before he went to sleep so you couldn’t give him your daily tea. He began working out during times he knew you weren’t in the tower and eve if you were there, he would make sure the gym door was locked as well. He made sure to not make eye contact with you whenever you two walked past each other in the hallway. Bucky knew that he had to keep pushing you away. If he didn’t, he would only fall more in love with you and hurt you which was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do.
No matter how hard you tried to help Bucky, the man you cared about deeply, the more he pushed you away. Your feelings for him grew everyday you stayed at the tower. You didn’t know why since the two of you barely exchanged a couple of words. However, he was a mystery, a mystery you desperately wanted to solve.
After several weeks of you trying to help Bucky, you slowly began to give up.
You stopped waking up ten minutes early to make him a cup of tea, you stopped tiptoeing to the training room with a bottle of water in your hands, you stopped smiling at him when you both saw each other down the hall. You slowly stopped making an appearance at the tower all together. The room in which you were staying at slowly became more vacant as the days went on until your room was completely packed and cleared leaving only the scent of your perfume lingering in the air. While no one really noticed your slow disappearance, Bucky did.
After you had officially left, Bucky almost felt a sense of relief. As much as he hated to admit, he knew that if you were no longer at the tower, you would not be in danger because of him. However, as time continued to pass, he felt empty inside. He missed the smell of green tea that woke him up in the morning. He missed watching you try (and fail) to discreetly place a bottle of water by his belongings. He missed hearing your laugh echo throughout the tower, or seeing your smile which always made him feel warm on the inside, and how you never seemed to worry about what others were thinking of you.
Bucky realized that the more days spent without you there, the more he began to want you. He thought you not being there would help him get over you and over those unknown feelings but instead it became worse. Bucky began to go insane, insane over the fact that you weren’t there, that your laugh could no longer be heard, or your smile was no longer seen.
And when Bucky reached the brink of pure insanity, he went charging through Steve’s door almost demanding him to say where you were, where you had gone, where he could find you.
“I don’t know Buck. The last time I talked to her she said she would be in Manhattan.”
Before Bucky let Steve say another word, he left the tower and left his place of hiding. When he was on the streets driving past thousands of people, he didn’t seem to care, he didn’t seem to care what they were thinking, he didn’t seem to care if people knew who he was or who they thought he was. The only thing on his mind was finding you.
When he arrived in Manhattan, he immediately stopped at your favorite coffee shop that he heard you always talk about. He frantically looked around the place to see if he could spot you through the crowds of people.
Suddenly, the sound of your laugh made him freeze. He could recognize your laugh anywhere. He turned to face you, a sense of relief washing over his body, however, once he took another step forward, he noticed that you weren’t alone. He saw the back of another man, another man who was making you smile, another man who was making you laugh.
And when Bucky saw this he stopped dead in his tracks. He began to get furious at the other man who was able to make you smile this way. However, he knew that he had no right to be mad, you were happy, and that’s all that should really matter.
So Bucky turned around, got back on his motorcycle and took one last glance at you. He memorized the way your hair flowed with the wind, the crinkles on your face when you smiled or laughed, and how your eyes lit up every time you spoke. Bucky smiled, a thing he rarely ever did, and left.